CLARION HIGH SCHOOL NEWS REPORT {MISTED}{part one} BY John Winn

[Not gonna tell ya]

\Hello, fine MSTER. My name is John Winn, and, as you might
guess, I decided to do my first MSTING. This one is quite different,
as it contains some of my finest pieces of material found at my
brother's Eden, N.C. home. I gave this to him originally as a present
for Christmas, and to your surprise, he enjoyed it. Now I'm bringing
the same thing to this newsgroup. Enjoy!!! and um, don't come down on
me hard or something./

{Interior of SOL. Mike in the bot's in their usual positions: Mike at
the left, and Crow and Tom and the right. They are having a
conversation.}

Crow:What makes a teacher good???
Mike:Well, a teacher cares much for their student's education, I
guess.
Crow:Well then, why are there bad teachers???
Mike:I guess I don't know.
Crow:{in Desmond Morris voice}:Go ahead, release the primeaval rage
inside your noggin.
Mike:Okay....here goes... {blushes and smiles} HEY YOU! YEAH, YOU IN
THAT ROOM OVER THERE!!! HAVE YOU FELT MANIPULATED BY AN AUTHORITY
THAT YOU TRUST, BE IT YOUR PARENTS, OR TEACHERS??? HAS HE/SHE RAMMED
THEIR PHILOSOPHY DOWN YOUR THROAT HOPING FOR YOU TO CONFORM TO THEIR
MESSED UP IDEOLOGY, WAITING FOR YOU TO BECOME ONE OF THEIR "HUDDLED"
MASSES??? WELL GET OFF OF YOUR COUCH, 'CAUZE YOU AIN'T GONNA LET THE
MAN AND HIS WHITE COLLAR POLITICS TAKE YOU DOWN!!!! {Bot's are scared
at this point}
Crow:{obviously shooken}:that was one *good* speech you gave there.
Mike:{notincing the button} We'll be right back.

{several phsycic sex commercials later}

Mike:So what'ya think???
Crow:I've never heard such a moving speech since Antoohy Hopkins
shouted "I'm as mad as Hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" in
"Nixon."

{Mads light flashes. Mike hits the button}

{D13. Doctor forrester and TV's Frank are in the center of the room,
Frank standing behind Dr. Forrester.}
Dr.F:I see you've begun your past-regression already, Mr. Nelson.

{SOL}
Mike:Yea...Hey!!!!

{D13}
Dr. F:Noticed that detail already, Orwell??? Well anyway, I'll start
the Invention Exchange. You go first.

{SOL}
Mike:Ivention Exchange???
Tom:The "creator" did it.
{Mike scratches his head in deep thought}

{D13}
Dr.F:{whispering} Well,screw that. {talks}:Well, boobies, your
experiment today is 2 high school newspaper reports by a P. Winn.
Enjoy!!!

{SOL}
Mike:Oh, It'll probably be a breeze and ...{klaxons ring} MOVIE
SIGN!!!!

{all enter theater}
>SIMMONS WINS TEACHER OF THE YEAR....
Mike:{Raspy voice}:I'm back, Jason, and this time, I've got a degree
in education!!!!

>By P. Winn

>At 7:45 on a Tuesday morning, all would be quiet on the English hall were it not for the buzz emanating from Mrs. Simmons room.
Mike:Jeremy didn't just get one gun, he got *two*!!!

>The distinguished Teacher of the Year hurries about the room, successfully conductiong an interview and helpimg a student at the same time make up a quiz
at the same time.
Mike:Supergirl???
Tom & Crow:Supergirl.

>Creating a comfortable, yet challenging and creative atmosphere in her specialty-and this has not gone unoticed by students or faculty
Crow:She's a prosti...{Mike covers Crow's beak.}

>Mrs Ragan says, "Mrs Simmons is quite deserving. I'm just suprised it has taken this long to recongnize {did I spell that right???} her excellance. She works exceptionally hard and is truly creative and demanding teacher. She get the best
from her students. I'm proud to call her my colleaugue."
Mike{sarcastic}:Look, your'e obviously part of this Establishment, and
you have not gotten it through your head that you're not as different
as/or unique as her, and yet you call her your colleaugue??? Do your
THINK your students care???
Tom:Mike, I've got four words for you:Pink Floyd's The Wall.
Mike {normal}:Thank's for telling me, Tom.

>Meanwhile, I sit in the back row, pencil in hand, hoping that her glory and greatness can shine through in about five or six questions.
Tom:Like, "Are you a teacher's pet?"

>How long have you lived in Rockingham County???

>Simmons:This is my 27th Year. I've always been at Moorehead High School. I've never been anywhere
Mike:And neither have we. Lett's go, guys. {all leave}
{door exit scene}