MiSTied: The Drake Raft Field Trip (1/8)
Chris Mayfield
This is my last MiSTing for probably a long, long time. Something called
the "real world" has intruded upon my life and devoured all my free
time. As always, comments are welcome. Chris Mayfield,
camf...@iastate.edu
[General opening antics]
[1...2...3...4...5...6...]
[SOL. Reams and reams of paper everywhere. Gypsy, Crow, Tom, and Mike
are all present, each with a pencil behind their ear (or stuck to their
head). On the desk is a typewriter with Tom pounding away at it with his
head. Mike looks up into Cambot.]
Mike: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Sat'o'Love. I'm Mike Nelson, and
these are the bots. Today, we decided to hold a creative writing jam
session.
Crow: Mike, does "squirrel" have two m's or one?
Mike: [puzzled] Uh, none.
Crow: Then what am I thinking of?
Tom: Hey! Mike! Could you hold down the shift?
Mike: Sure.
[Mike leans over typewriter and holds down key. Tom gives the typewriter
a mighty whack with his head. His dome falls off.]
Tom: I hate it when that happens. Ohhh. [falls backwards behind desk]
[Commercials]
[Back on the SOL. Mike is reattaching a cracked dome back on Tom's
head.]
Mike: There. You OK?
Tom: Yeah. Oh well, on to page two.
[lights flash]
Gypsy: Ooh! Ooh! Strunk and White are calling!
[Mike hits button]
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: Hello there, my little literary test cases. I see you're already
in the mood for today's experiment.
[SOL]
Mike: What? More bad fanfics?
Crow: Dr. Who? Star Trek?
Tom: Quantum Leap?
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: No, no, no. Our good friend Elliot McGucken is back.
[SOL]
Crow: Hey! I thought he got pulled off the net for forging e-mail!
[Deep 13]
Dr. F: True evil is not defeated so easily! He's back and spamming like
never before. Today's treat is the first chapter of his "The Drake Raft
Field Trip." It's long, rambling, and almost as incoherent as his
poetry. Now, to send you off, here's a bit of poetry from me to you. It
was my submission for the June 95 edition of Blast!, the literary
magazine for mad scientists:
My Bunsen Burner
You brightly burn
Into heat you turn
Gas
Mystically true, oh
Carbon dioxide and H20
Vapor
I love you so
Thermo
dynamically
[SOL]
Gypsy: That was really bad.
[Movie sign. Chaos.]
All: WE'VE GOT JOLLY ROGER SIGN!!
[6...5...4...3...2...1...]
> The links stop here-- BeaconWay Press
>
> to windy fields
>
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>[Image]
>
> Published by BeaconWay Press
>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> THE DRAKE RAFT FIELD TRIP
Mike: Not only the title, but the plan and a good deal of the incidental
symbolism of the novel were suggested by Berkeley's "After Dark"
screensaver.
>
> 1
>
>Like I thought that everything would've made a pretty cool video,
All: [singing] This song is gonna make a great video...
> but
>Cliff said that the whole video industry thing sucks,
Tom: [Beavis] Huh, huh. MTV sucks.
> and by the time
>they got anything of ours out on the air over MTV, our story will have
>evaporated,
Crow: It's 90% there already.
> even if we laid down some cool riffs with it all. It'd have
>to have a bunch of those swimsuit super models on fire--
Mike: Kathy Ireland--noooo!!
> like the chick
>who graduated early from my high school, and scored herself a Porsche.
Crow: And all she had to do was whore herself. It's that simple!
>You probably caught her in Sports Illustrated -- they put her in even
>though she has red hair.
Mike: What's wrong with red hair?
Tom: Maybe he has something against descendants of Lazarus Long.
> Or else it'd end up on VH1, and even MTV'd
>throw a flock of dolphins and environmental stuff in for balance to
>offset the sex and fire and death,
Tom: Three parts environment to every two parts sex and death.
> all of which sounded pretty cool to
>me. I pointed out that one proverb thing, that a picture's worth a
>thousand words,
Mike: So what picture sums up their words?
Crow: A steaming pile of dog crap.
> and Cliff said yeah sure , if the picture's of a face
>or a barn or something,
Crow: Like breasts.
> but when it comes down to pictures of the
>ungraspable phantom of life, words are priceless. So Cliff figured we'd
>write a book.
Tom: Fifty thousand novels and nothing to read.
Mike: But what about Sue Grafton or Stephen King or Anne Rice or
Danielle Steele or--
Tom: Like I was saying...
> Plus that way no one could ruin it, Cliff said, unless
>they read it wrong,
Mike: Or burned it.
Crow: Or MiSTed it.
> and then it'd only be ruined in a private sort of
>way.
Crow: Hey! Why's my Complete Works of Shakespeare all sticky?
> But there's not much danger of that-- nobody I know reads.
Tom: What a scathing indictment of modern youth.
>
>Now I won't be able to say everything exactly as it happened,
Crow: Cause this is fiction so none of it happened.
> but Cliff
>said that that's no big deal,
Tom: When you're writing the Great American Novel, you shouldn't worry
about little things like plot.
> and I shouldn't worry about it; jus t as
>long as we get it all down before it escapes our heads,
Mike: Hey! A shiny object! Oops. Too late.
> and then if
>there're any holes we can fill them in with whatever we feel. My verbal
>handling skills
Tom: Or manhandling skills, as the case may be.
> are about as good as Cliff's Rhandy Rhodes guitar
>solos, so you know Cliff should be the one recording all this in ink
>and stuff,
Crow: Like human blood?
> knowin' all the bigger words that he's always learning out
>of those thick banned books he's always reading.
Tom: [singing] Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately? I've got a
hobby rereading Lady Chatterly...
> But he's been shipped
>off to some camp in California, where he's supposed to get himself some
>religion. You kn ow
Mike: [a la Sesame Street] Kn...ow. Kn-ow. Know!
> how the whole book thing was his idea,
Crow: So _that's_ who we should shoot.
> but soon as
>he got out West, he wigged out on me.
Tom: He's not only the president of the hair club for men...
> He sent me a post-card of the
>Rainbow
Mike: Gravity's Rainbow?
Tom: A screaming came across the net.
> saying how he's got no time for words, 'cause he's on to some
>combination unification thing of quantum mechanics
Mike: Young Einstein: the Novel.
Crow: Dear God, no...
> and relativi ty and
>stuff, which he says came out of either side of Einstein's brain
Tom: Einstein's earwax! Ewww!
> and
>have hated each other ever since. He's putting all that stuff in our
>physics appendix thing, if you're in to science fiction.
Crow: God this is going to suck.
> Plus he says
>he's too much afflicted, and stuff, by Drake's poems
Tom: I know how he feels. My head exploded last time.
> to write straight,
>except for to write out all the speech things we heard-- he keeps
>rhyming by mistake.
Tom: Yeah. Whatever.
> He said he trusted my talents and abilities--
Crow: He's really stupid that way.
> but
>that's mostly 'cause he doesn't wanna do it himself--
All: Slaaacker!
> usually when
>Cliff trusts your a bilities it's 'cause he doesn't feel like doin' it
>himself.
Tom: This is a book, right Mike?
Mike: Yes.
Tom: And they admit this is supposed to be written?
Mike: Yes.
Tom: Then what's with all the bloody regional dialect in supposedly
straight prose?
Crow: The prosecution submits exhibit A for the case that the Jolly
Roger boys have no idea what they're doing.
> But I have to admit that this time he might really be pretty
>tied up,
Crow: Tie him up! Tie him down!
> 'cause on top of everything else, his dad's forcing him to
>take some classes that're gonna make him ace his SAT test things, so he
>can get into the college of his dads
Tom: He has more than one?
Mike: My Two Dads: The Second Coming.
> choice, for real ; even though we
>already just got into Priceton,
Mike: Typo or subliminal attack on capitalism? _You_ make the call.
> this past April, as like
Crow: Simile alert!
> these phony
>people.
Crow: Or maybe not.
> We sent away for application things, and we made up some fake
>names like River and Cloudy Meadows,
Mike: And Windy Fields?
Tom: And Drake Raft a.k.a. After Dark?
Crow: The only revolution is in Elliot McGucken's head.
> and we filled 'em out saying how
>we were two orphaned brothers whod
Mike: The Brothers Whod?
Tom: Better than the Brothers Grunt.
> been adopted by some charitable
>Black Sabbath roadies.
Crow: This _is_ fiction!
> We wrote it down in the spaces provided for
>events which changed our lives about how wed
Crow: So then me and Cliff took the Pinto down to Las Vegas to the
Chapel of Elvis...
> traveled the world and
>been cultured by our roady family, having seen the Mardis Gras in the
>French Quarter, up in France,
Mike: In France, aren't all the quarters French?
> and Liverpool too, where Ozzy was born.
>We said we'd watched Bloody Stonehard sell out the Tokyo Dome four
>nights down in South Europe
Tom: What's the Tokyo Dome doing in Southern Europe?
Crow: These boys geography skills are almost as good as their writing
skills.
> as a cultural diversity exchange program ,
>and we'd even seen like the historical sights where Pink Floyd rocked
>down the Wall in Berlin and kicked face-ism's ass for good, and cured
>AIDS too,
Mike: It must be nice to live in their world.
> for Kurt Cobain's benefit, 'cause he's like dead.
Crow: Much like the author's talent.
> They'd
>changed rules on the SAT things, and let you t ake calculators in,
>'cause they don't teach math in high school anymore,
Mike: What about Math for Adult Living?
Crow: Um, what's 1040 divided by April 15?
> so Cliff got his
>soldering iron out and souped up these two old calculators he had lyin'
>around and made 'em so they could cruise the information super highway.
Tom: What is he? MacGuyver?
>That way I could look up all the words and things while he worked on
>the math parts. Then we like interacted some on the internet, and faxed
>each-other the information we'd found.
Crow: We used the special "magic" add-on feature.
> I even had some time left over
>to look up the lyrics to Nevermind, 'cause I never could figure out
>what was gettin' said, but seein' em didn't help much. I guess it was
>cheating,
Tom: Yup.
> as we were both working on the same test, and it could've
>been a federal bust, 'cause we were violating the FCC rules, but hey,
>we were taking them as a joke, OK?
Mike: Anyway, now we're doin' life up in Sing-Sing.
> And besides, Cliff said it wasn't
>anymore cheating than memorizing the word s before the test was.
Crow: Rationalizations awaaaay!
> If
>anything, our way was more honest, and on the level, 'cause we just
>went in knowing what we knew,
Mike: Nothing.
> and didn't spend months preparing some
>eminent front to fool peo ple that we knew more than we really did. But
>I did learn something: I'll never get into college,
Tom: And this surprises who?
> as the only word I
>knew on the test on my own was "estranged," 'cause Guns and Roses throw
>up
Crow: Oh gross!
> the definition in that old video-- you know, the cool one where Axl
>jumps off an Oil Tanker and like Slash floats in front of the Rainbow
Tom: [rock singing] Somewhere! Ching ching ching! Over--the Rainbooooow!
>and walks on water and stuff each time his solo comes up, like he's God
Mike: This is why I left the church.
>or somebody. Plus our way was more efficient, too, 'cause we weren't
>filling up our heads with words
Mike: Or thoughts.
> that re ferred to nothing in reality,
>and wasting good space that could be used to know real stuff, like how
>to play the new Bloody Stonehard riffs.
Tom: Mike, do you mind if I weep openly?
Mike: Nope.
Tom: [weeps openly]
> Cliff put some serious time in
>on our recommendations from our teachers, which was the toughest part,
>he said, bec ause he had to climb inside the mind of Mrs. Jackson,
Crow: But he made a machine that shrunk him down real small and I
injected him into her blood stream.
> this
>one English teacher we both had, though he had her for honors, and I
>had her for challenged;
Mike: And he's the one writing.
> and to authentisize them he spiced them up with
>a few words borrowed from the coolest contemporary liter ature,
Tom: Is that the metric way of measuring books?
> like
>Beloved
Mike: This is not a story to pass on.
> and The Way Things Ought to Be and from that huge brick-like
>book he kept getting detentions for having in the school-- the one
>which'd been banned for promoting violence against whales, Moby Dick .
Crow: He's joking, right?
Mike: Sadly, probably not.
>He said it would help us if we like lied and checked the minority box,
>which I thought we were already, being only two of us,
Tom: Jeez! These guys are so stupid!
Crow: And they're supposed to be the new conservative ideal?
> but he explained
>the meaning of the word,
Tom: [Cliff] You see: bird, bird, bird. Bird _is_ the word.
> so I thought some about it and concluded to
>him that it would be a good thing to say we were like Chinese, as Greg
>Shimaku wa
Mike: Any relation to Juliewa?
> s the smartest in our grade, and always showing up on the
>honor rolls; but Cliff told me I was a dumb-ass,
All: Yeah!!
> and it was no wonder I
>never showed up on the honor rolls, or anything,
Crow: Except the police blotter.
> and that anyone in our
>position needed to stick with a sure-fire minority; so he put down that
>we were rich.
Mike: Wow. What a scathing indictment of modern culture.
Tom: But it doesn't make any sense. The rich are always a minority or
else they wouldn't be the rich--they'd be the middle class. Not
everyone can be the best.
Mike: Give up now, Tom. It'll be less painful.
> For our essay questions, Cliff borrowed some old poems
>from that dead dude Shake-a-spear, and set them down as our own,
Crow: Nary an original thought in their heads.
> and
>told the admissions people we were two expiring poets,
Mike: We can only hope.
> or something. I
>thought it was a dumb-assed thing to do, so sure I was that we'd be
>busted for copy-writing,
Tom: Actually, plagiarism. But continue.
> and they'd trash our application, as that's
>like playin' a gig and introducing Knockin' on Heaven's Door
Crow: [knocking sound]
Mike: [God] Oh, great. Jehovah's Witnesses.
> as a song
>you wrote for some friend who died from a heroin overdose-- like Axl
>would beat the crap out of you.
Mike: Dear Mr. Axl, please feel free to beat the crap out of these
people. Sincerely, Mike Nelson.
> But Cliff said not to worry, because
>he'd been talking with his brother Drake who'd been going to Priceton,
>and before he'd wigged out up there and took to livin' in the woods,
Tom: Walden III: The Final Reckoning.
>and killed himself, sort of, Drake'd told him that t hey don't read
>Shake-a-spear there anymore.
Crow: What a scathing indictment of post-secondary American education.
MSTGamera
I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
observation TOM is smarter than CROW. Whenever a wierd invention is shown
in the movie tom is the first one to build his own (the death ray for
example) . And who tried to tunnel out of the SOL in the movie? And in the
killer leaches episode, Tom delivers a stunning hi-koo and when it is
crow's turn, he changes the subject. I could go on but i'll leave that to
you...
Carrie A. Wieczorkiewicz
MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
: I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
Funny how Gamera & Tibby have similar opinions on one "Thom Servo" (ref that)
.............................................................................
Tibby and her wonderfully brillant owner and foster mother, Carrie.
Tibby: Happy mother's day Carrie!
.
Rob Bowell
In article <4n5psl$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>,
mstg...@aol.com (MSTGamera) wrote:
>I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
>observation TOM is smarter than CROW. Whenever a wierd invention is shown
>in the movie tom is the first one to build his own (the death ray for
>example) . And who tried to tunnel out of the SOL in the movie? And in the
>killer leaches episode, Tom delivers a stunning hi-koo and when it is
>crow's turn, he changes the subject. I could go on but i'll leave that to
Well, I don't mean to sound like an eliteist twerp or anything, but
that's no major realization. They make it kind of blatantly obvious.
However, I put it to you that there's no true definition of intelligence.
You see, Crow and Tom are brilliant in different ways. Tom is book
smart, but often, about the day-to-day, real life kinds of things, he's dumber
(witness his efforts in dating). Crow's got street smarts--Crow's a tough
guy. But this leaves no room for metaphysical wonderings.
Tom suffers much more deeply from the various incarnations of the
Pinnochio Syndrome: witness his needs to have a belly button, to be
pink-colored, to understand what kissing is all about, etc.
Of course, they occasionally reverse this trend, as is evidenced from
the "I don't get you" host segment <voice remeniscent of Crow talking about
Manniquin -on-> one of my favorite sketches <voice . . . off>. Crow has a
deep, complex nature. Tom, on the other hand, is "like the wind, baby."
I suppose one could draw the conclusion, from this, that it's actually
Crow that's the much more developed, reasoned 'bot. He doesn't worry over the
small things, since he has them firmly in hand. You could also argue that
Crow is a cheese-curl-munching couch potato with no aspirations to understand
the metaphysics of his situation. My vote goes with the latter. I worship at
Tom's hoverskirt.
Hum da-dee-dee-dee, hooa hooa!,
Rob "waiting for all the suggestions to 'just relax.'" Bowell
**********************************************************
Weapons not food, not homes not shoes,
not need just feed the war cannibal animal--
I walk the corner to the rubble that used to be a library
line up to the mind cemetary.
What we don't know keeps the contracts alive and movin'
they don't gotta burn the books, they just remove 'em.
While arms warehouses fill as quick as the cells.
--"Bulls on Parade"
Zach de la Rocha of Rage Against the Machine
**********************************************************
Kevin Mowery
MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
: I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
: observation TOM is smarter than CROW. Whenever a wierd invention is shown
: in the movie tom is the first one to build his own (the death ray for
: example) . And who tried to tunnel out of the SOL in the movie? And in the
: killer leaches episode, Tom delivers a stunning hi-koo and when it is
: crow's turn, he changes the subject. I could go on but i'll leave that to
: you...
You might be right.
However, consider that anyone who decides not to build a death ray
and manages to get out of writing haiku might have a touch of
intelligence. As for the tunneling thing, well, Crow's just a Loonie.*
Tom might have better technical sense, however (although wasn't it Tom who
liked Macs? A point against my theory. :>)
* Roleplaying gamers are often divided for comedic purposes into 4 groups:
Real Men, Real Roleplayers, Loonies, and Munchkins. Loonies are the guys
who'll come up with stupid and silly ideas and either implement them
themselves or--better yet--get someone else to do it. As long as it's funny.
--
Kevin "No Nickname" Mowery (kemo...@freenet.columbus.oh.us)
=================================================================
"Initiative comes to those who wait" --Alex, "A Clockwork Orange"
"Convictions cause convicts" --Principia Discordia
Ransom Cable
mstg...@aol.com (MSTGamera) wrote:
>I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
>observation TOM is smarter than CROW.
Well, I always heard Tom had a light on.... oh you mean Servo.
- MiSTie 0xD0FF - Ransom "burdet" Cable
You're like my yo-yo, that glowed in the dark.
What made it special, made it dangerous.
So I bury it, ... and forget. - Kate Bush
Darrin Cardani
> ==========Ransom Cable, 5/14/96==========
>
> Well, I always heard Tom had a light on.... oh you mean Servo.
That's from that Steve Miller song, right? "Big ol' Tom had a
light on..."
(For the humor impaired, I'm joking!)
Darrin
--
Darrin Cardani Darrin....@AtlantaGA.NCR.COM
MSTGamera
wow that was on so many different levels man
actually, as far as street smarts go crow and servo are equally nieave to
the outside world. However Tom is much more intelligent, in fact he is a
bit of a nerd, if they were real children, tom would be three or four
years older. But the writers of the show don't always stick to theses
principles, cuz , well they probobly don't think it is that important
MSTGamera
MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
BECOME MORE POPULAR!! BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
sorry about that folks, continue with your newsgrop browsing
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
: MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
: MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
: BECOME MORE POPULAR!! BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
: GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
Uh... Come along people now, smile at your brother, everybody get
together and love one another?
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave (not Gently) |--X5/D50/DX27/1202/Juno106/GUS--|
internet: cgo...@gate.net (ISDN #1134) |"Dirty pool old man, I like it!"|
Scanning and web author services avail. |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
http://www.webcom.com/cgould/ - MST3K,MIDI,pinball,ambient/emusic,andmore
SAVE MST3K!! - http://fermi.clas.virginia.edu/~jcp9j/canceled.html forinfo
Mike Sphar
>MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
>: MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
>: MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
>: BECOME MORE POPULAR!!
Somewhere there's a Xerox employee laughing uncontrollably. (Somfware?)
> BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
>: GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
>: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
And who exactly are "The Non Belivers"? Some trendy new college band? And
where did they get all the blood?
These questions and more will be answered on the next "Paranormal
Borderline". I'm your host, Jonathan "Great Big Whore" Frakes.
--
Mikey "Dreamy" Sphar (The Artist Formerly known as Mikey Inglis)
Keep it up, Pinky. Donkeytown needs a new mayor.
-- Brain
Bill Livingston
Previously on "Dragnet", Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
>MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
>: MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
>: MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
>: GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
>: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
>
>together and love one another?
Right now?
Bill L.
And I just put the dishes in to wash, too
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bi...@Traveller.COM http://www.Traveller.COM/~bill
Best if Used by Date on Label
Dean Thomas Sebastian Carrano
> Previously on "Dragnet", Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
> >: MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
> >: MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
> >: BECOME MORE POPULAR!! BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!!
"Oh, the same kind of activities...no, you don't understand, it's just a
pride thing, that's all..."
Dean Carrano dcar...@interpage.net / www.interpage.net / (800) 624-6964
Interpage(TM) E-Mail to YOUR existing Pager, as well as Local/Nationwide Svc.
US & International E-Mail Fax * LinkAlert Link Monitoring * WebReach(TM) Fax
Stephen Rettinger
Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
>
> MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
> : MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
> : MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
> : GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
> : HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
>
> Uh... Come along people now, smile at your brother, everybody get
> together and love one another?
>
Hmmm...hate to break it to you; but from what I've heard, both Microsoft AND
Mac got their program from the same place - Geos. So, then technically, it's
not that MS stole it and happened to be more popular, it's just that they did
a better job of stealing it. Of course, my info source _could_ be wrong.
-Steve.
BTW, don't think I'm defending Gates, I despise Win95.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <4nbqeu$e...@dns.plano.net>, Ransom Cable <ran...@dallas.net> wrote:
>mstg...@aol.com (MSTGamera) wrote:
>
>>I am a HUGE fan and have been watching for a long time, but i have made a
>>observation TOM is smarter than CROW.
>
>
>
I though that was Bingo Jet who had the light on.
Roger M. "Don't carry me too far away" Wilcox
--
rog...@robadome.com (Roger M. Wilcox) - AKA - tra...@zoom.com (Jeff Boeing)
-------------+---- I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low -------------------
MSTie #38808 | "I like to quote myself in my own .signature."
I'm Sodium! | -- Roger M. Wilcox
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <4ne5tm$5...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>,
MSTGamera <mstg...@aol.com> wrote:
>MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
>MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
>BECOME MORE POPULAR!! BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
>GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
>HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
Been reading the Matt Theil home page, I see.
Robb Jethro
Roger M. Wilcox (rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com) wrote:
: In article <4ne5tm$5...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>,
: MSTGamera <mstg...@aol.com> wrote:
: >MACS ARE 10 TIMES BETTER THAN ANY PC, THEY ARE JUST NOT AS POPULAR BECAUSE
: >MICROSOFT COPIED THE MACS SOMFWARE IN TO WINDOWS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO
: >BECOME MORE POPULAR!! BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
: >GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
: >HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
: >sorry about that folks, continue with your newsgrop browsing
"I Suppose you'd rather have a little clown jump out, then Wink at you
and point at the right file"
-Crow
"Atleast i dont need a photographic memory to use a mac"
-Tom Servo
creepygirl
On Sun, 19 May 1996, Mike Sphar wrote:
> >MSTGamera (mstg...@aol.com) wrote:
(snip)
> > BUT ONE DAY MACS WILL RISE AGAIN!!!! DEATH TO BILL
> >: GATES!!!!! THE STREETS WILL FLOW WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NON BELIVERS!!!!HA
> >: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
>
> And who exactly are "The Non Belivers"? Some trendy new college band? And
> where did they get all the blood?
>
> These questions and more will be answered on the next "Paranormal
> Borderline". I'm your host, Jonathan "Great Big Whore" Frakes.
Another r.a.t.m.m.-related injury to report. I applied one of those
facial clay masques to my face--the ones that start out gluey and end up
sticking to the face like cement--thus rendering my face immobile. I
innocently sat down and started reading r.a.t.m.m., confident (too
confident) that I could read it without laughing out loud. Then I read
the last sentence of the preceding paragraph. And I hurt my face
laughing at it. I'm sure there's a lesson there, but I'm not sure what
it is.
> --
> Mikey "Dreamy" Sphar (The Artist Formerly known as Mikey Inglis)
> Keep it up, Pinky. Donkeytown needs a new mayor.
> -- Brain
--creepygirl, raven-haired and bitter
WilliamBergheimer
Ironically, the changes in win 95 make it more like Mac systems...I hate
the way they 'dumb down' the file manager...
Kathleen Lytle
Stephen Rettinger (re...@mail.sgi.net) wrote:
: Hmmm...hate to break it to you; but from what I've heard, both Microsoft AND
: Mac got their program from the same place - Geos. So, then technically, it's
: not that MS stole it and happened to be more popular, it's just that they did
: a better job of stealing it. Of course, my info source _could_ be wrong.
I think the Big Bang occured at Xerox PARC.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <31A3B5...@mail.sgi.net>,
Stephen Rettinger <re...@mail.sgi.net> wrote:
>
>Hmmm...hate to break it to you; but from what I've heard, both Microsoft AND
>Mac got their program from the same place - Geos. So, then technically, it's
>not that MS stole it and happened to be more popular, it's just that they did
>a better job of stealing it. Of course, my info source _could_ be wrong.
Well, that makes sen-- HUH?!?!!
"Geos"? Is that what Xerox-PARC called their Smalltalk environment or
something? Please tell me you're not talking about the chevrolet cars.
>
>BTW, don't think I'm defending Gates, I despise Win95.
Well, THAT puts you in about as elite a group as "people who breathe".
Bruce Haire
"Please take a few moments to read this carefully.
I think you'll be glad you did."
Roger M. Wilcox wrote:
> "Geos"? Is that what Xerox-PARC called their Smalltalk environment or
> something? Please tell me you're not talking about the chevrolet cars.
<Ahem> If I may... He is refering to GEOS (Graphic Environment
OS) that Berkeley Softworks did for the Commodore 64/128. Totaly
mousey drivin, or joystick if need be. I think that's what he's
talking about.
--
Bruce Haire
ISD VLSI/CAD Systems Administrator (contractor)
Silicon Graphics Computer Systems
T-Bone
On 31 May 1996, WilliamBergheimer wrote:
> Ironically, the changes in win 95 make it more like Mac systems...I hate
> the way they 'dumb down' the file manager...
Well, they were just going to the intelligence level of the average
MicroShaft employee.
Personally, I can hardly wait for gun_step.
T-Bone, tbo...@io.com (on the web at http://www.io.com/~tbone1/)
"scott, gramercy just called me and told me they hate you."
- julie walker (texas ranger)
T-Bone
On Fri, 31 May 1996, T-Bone wrote:
> Personally, I can hardly wait for gun_step.
I know, call me lame for follwing my own post, but I meant to type
"gnu_step" there. It's the GNU version of NeXT Step, the gui that NeXT
makes/made. I used to work on a NeXT machine, and the gui is nice, by far
the best I've ever used.
Anyway, we now return you to your regularly scheduled information-free posts.
Christopher A. Seale
In article <4onbe0$7...@mark.ucdavis.edu>, fin...@wheel.ucdavis.edu
(Kathleen Lytle) wrote:
>Stephen Rettinger (re...@mail.sgi.net) wrote:
>
>: Hmmm...hate to break it to you; but from what I've heard, both Microsoft AND
>: Mac got their program from the same place - Geos. So, then technically, it's
>: not that MS stole it and happened to be more popular, it's just that they did
>: a better job of stealing it. Of course, my info source _could_ be wrong.
>
> I think the Big Bang occured at Xerox PARC.
>
true...
... however, Bill Gates developed the fundamental ideas for Windows while
working on some of the first Macintosh applications... sales of which
really took Micro$oft to the big leagues.
just my nickel...
-chris
#25112
sad to say, I think my next machine may not be a Mac... too damned hard to
get *anything* for it anymore
--
ch...@laserfantasy.com Christopher A. "mothboy" Seale, signing off.
Performing live for Laser Fantasy at The Children's Museum of
Indianapolis..."There's a flame around here, I'm sure of it!"
visit the Laser Fantasy site at http://www.laserfantasy.com/~mlutz/
Angie Schultz
> I think the Big Bang occured at Xerox PARC.
Well, technically, it did.
Angie "always glad to help with these little problems" Schultz
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <4on9sn$c...@news.ios.com>,
WilliamBergheimer <tr...@198.4.75.51> wrote:
>Ironically, the changes in win 95 make it more like Mac systems...I hate
>the way they 'dumb down' the file manager...
Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
install the device driver FOR YOU."
Note: It's not "Would you like me to install the device driver I havem
or would you like to supply one of your own?". It's "I'm installing my
device driver." It doesn't give you a choice. It doesn't let you NOT
install their device driver. If their device driver hangs your system,
tough. If you later add your own device driver to the system and remove
theirs, Win95 will automatically RE-INSTALL their own device driver the
next time you boot up. In other words, you are stuck.
Microsoft is right: Windows 95 *does* make your PC just like a Mac.
--
rog...@robadome.com (Roger M. Wilcox) - AKA - tra...@zoom.com (Jeff Boeing)
-------------+---- I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low -------------------
MSTie #38808 | http://www.zoom.com/personal/tracer: it's not just for
I'm Sodium! | breakfast anymore
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <31AF87...@engr.sgi.com>,
Bruce Haire <ha...@engr.sgi.com> wrote:
>Roger M. Wilcox wrote:
>> "Geos"? Is that what Xerox-PARC called their Smalltalk environment or
>> something? Please tell me you're not talking about the chevrolet cars.
>
> <Ahem> If I may... He is refering to GEOS (Graphic Environment
>OS) that Berkeley Softworks did for the Commodore 64/128. Totaly
>mousey drivin, or joystick if need be. I think that's what he's
>talking about.
... Oh.
<hangs head in shame>
Boy, do I feel ignorant.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <chris-01069...@p19-term1.inetdirect.net>,
Christopher A. Seale <ch...@laserfantasy.com> wrote:
>
>sad to say, I think my next machine may not be a Mac... too damned hard to
>get *anything* for it anymore
Um ... a friend of mine is coming out with a really neat-a-reeto Origami
multimedia title for Mac by the end of this year, if that helps.
Bryan Lambert
rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com (Roger M. Wilcox) wrote:
>Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
>devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
>attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
>install the device driver FOR YOU."
Not to get into "system" stuff, but I just got Windows 95 at work, and
while it's not -bad-, I like how they took the whole "file vs. icon"
dichotomy of Windows 3.1 and blurred it without eliminating it.
Bryan Lambert <bryan....@co.hennepin.mn.us>
. . . who's first thought, when Windows 95 came out, was "Hey,
Beavis! You -can- polish a turd!"
Rob Bowell
In article <4p1ejo$7...@news.co.hennepin.mn.us>,
bryan....@co.hennepin.mn.us (Bryan Lambert) wrote:
>rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com (Roger M. Wilcox) wrote:
>
>>Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
>>devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
>>attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
>>install the device driver FOR YOU."
>
>Not to get into "system" stuff, but I just got Windows 95 at work, and
>while it's not -bad-, I like how they took the whole "file vs. icon"
>dichotomy of Windows 3.1 and blurred it without eliminating it.
>
`95. In fact, I like it quite a bit. I like GUIs, and I don't dig on the
expense of or rarity of software for the Mac. Then again, maybe I'm just not
running my system through the rigors under which these problems would crop up.
And KTLA is there!,
Rob Bowell, MSTie #67753
*******************************************************************************
Look I'm standing naked before you, don't you want more than my sex? I can
scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence. Oh, God, could it
be the weather? Oh, God, why am I here? If love isn't forever, and it's not the
weather, hand me my leather. I could just pretend that you love me. The night
would lose all sense of fear, but why do I need you to love me when you can't
hold what I hold dear? I almost ran over an angel, he had a nice, big, fat
cigar. "In a sense," he said, "You're alone here, so if you jump you'd best jump far."
--Tori Amos, "Leather"
*******************************************************************************
Bryan Lambert
rbo...@monmouth.com (Rob Bowell) wrote:
> I'm not one to defend a monopoly, but here goes: I don't mind Win
>`95. In fact, I like it quite a bit. I like GUIs, and I don't dig on the
>expense of or rarity of software for the Mac. Then again, maybe I'm just not
>running my system through the rigors under which these problems would crop up.
Ah, you see, my problem is, I'm an Amiga geek. On the Amiga, you have
a file. The file has a separate icon file, but the two are joined. If
you delete the icon, you delete the file. In Windows 3.1, if you
delete an icon, the file remains. In Windows 95, if you delete an
icon, you may or may not be deleting a file. (Yes, I know it's not
that difficult to tell what you're actually doing, but I'm talkin'
style here).
Those of us who beef about W95 don't do so because W95 is particularly
horrid; if I've gotta use Windows anyway, it might as well be 95;
we're just bitter because we know the world could have been a better
place. :)
Bryan Lambert <bryan....@co.hennepin.mn.us>
. . . who has been actively questioning the need for a home computer
at all for several months now, which is a frightening prospect for a
nice Geek Orthodox boy like me.
Stephen Rettinger
> >Hmmm...hate to break it to you; but from what I've heard, both Microsoft AND
> >Mac got their program from the same place - Geos. So, then technically, it's
> >not that MS stole it and happened to be more popular, it's just that they did
> >a better job of stealing it. Of course, my info source _could_ be wrong.
>
>
> something? Please tell me you're not talking about the chevrolet cars.
>
Ah, well, I had one friend (knows a lot about computers, or at least thinks he
does) who told me about how it was patterned after an old Commodore program Geos.
I also had a teacher say it was from an old Xerox program.
Needless to say I don't believe my teachers (hell, for once, one of em was right!).
> >
> >BTW, don't think I'm defending Gates, I despise Win95.
>
> Well, THAT puts you in about as elite a group as "people who breathe".
I also eat and sleep, if that helps...
-Steve.
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Rob Bowell (rbo...@monmouth.com) wrote:
: In article <4p1ejo$7...@news.co.hennepin.mn.us>,
: bryan....@co.hennepin.mn.us (Bryan Lambert) wrote:
: >rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com (Roger M. Wilcox) wrote:
: >>Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
: >>devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
: >>attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
: >>install the device driver FOR YOU."
: >Not to get into "system" stuff, but I just got Windows 95 at work, and
: >while it's not -bad-, I like how they took the whole "file vs. icon"
: >dichotomy of Windows 3.1 and blurred it without eliminating it.
: expense of or rarity of software for the Mac. Then again, maybe I'm just not
: running my system through the rigors under which these problems would crop up.
Rubbish! You traitor to the Whole Realm of Intelligent Computer Users!
Win '95 - hmmph! I shall pummel thee with my sword, demon!
-sw- [Who nonetheless admits a liking to Windows NT, but is not sure
whether NT beats a pink plastic flamingo as far as OSs go.]
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com (Roger M. Wilcox)
once write the following? Read the book:
>Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
>devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
>attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
>install the device driver FOR YOU."
>
>or would you like to supply one of your own?". It's "I'm installing my
>device driver." It doesn't give you a choice. It doesn't let you NOT
>install their device driver. If their device driver hangs your system,
>tough. If you later add your own device driver to the system and remove
>theirs, Win95 will automatically RE-INSTALL their own device driver the
>next time you boot up. In other words, you are stuck.
Hasn't been my experience. I've had to remove some Win95 drivers and
replace them with updated versions from the manufacturer. No problem at
all.
Now what *was* a problem was that Win95's *smart* installation tried to
setup my sound card, which had it's driver on cdrom, before it setup my
cdrom, which made installing said drivers a tad impossible at first. An
annoying but trivial problem.
But hey, it's no VMS. That's for sure.
Mike Czaplinski
mik...@best.com (Mike Sphar) wrote:
>
[snip re Win95]
> But hey, it's no VMS. That's for sure.
Yeah, for that you have to buy Windows NT....
Mike "DOE!" Czaplinski
mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com
David Anderson
Fairly reliable sources inform me that Soundwave [Chad Gould] wrote:
>Rob Bowell (rbo...@monmouth.com) wrote:
>: In article <4p1ejo$7...@news.co.hennepin.mn.us>,
>: bryan....@co.hennepin.mn.us (Bryan Lambert) wrote:
>: >rog...@tera.eng.sc.rolm.com (Roger M. Wilcox) wrote:
>: >>Personally, I hate the way they 'dumb down' the scan for installed
>: >>devices. Win95 basically says "Oh, there's a new expansion card
>: >>attached to your system that wasn't detected before. Here, let me
>: >>install the device driver FOR YOU."
>: >Not to get into "system" stuff, but I just got Windows 95 at work, and
>: >while it's not -bad-, I like how they took the whole "file vs. icon"
>: >dichotomy of Windows 3.1 and blurred it without eliminating it.
>: I'm not one to defend a monopoly, but here goes: I don't mind Win
>: `95. In fact, I like it quite a bit. I like GUIs, and I don't dig on the
>: expense of or rarity of software for the Mac. Then again, maybe I'm just not
>: running my system through the rigors under which these problems would crop up.
>
>Rubbish! You traitor to the Whole Realm of Intelligent Computer Users!
>Win '95 - hmmph! I shall pummel thee with my sword, demon!
>
>-sw- [Who nonetheless admits a liking to Windows NT, but is not sure
>whether NT beats a pink plastic flamingo as far as OSs go.]
Well, not that this has anything to do with anything, but a thought occurred to
me (don't laugh, it happens every now and then) about a marketing idea that IBM
missed out on:
In silhouette, three people sit down at computers. Lights come up to reveal:
o MEL BROOKS, in full GOV. LEPETOMANE regalia,
o HARVEY KORMAN, reprising his role as HEDY LAMARR ("That's HEDLEY!"), and
o MADELAINE KAHN as the Teutonic Titwillow, LILLI VON SCHTUPP.
Each in turn powers up his or her computer.
On LILLI's monitor, we see the MAC OS logo. Her reaction: a disappointed,
"Ohhhhh."
On HEDLEY's monitor, the Windows logo. He responds with a disgusted, "Ewwwww."
On LEPETOMANE's monitor, we see the OS/2 WARP logo. He gets to his feet and
shouts, at the top of his lungs: "THIS THING IS *WARPED*!! I *ALWAYS* GET THE
*WARPED* ONE!!" The GOV gives us a big ol' STAGE WINK as we FADE TO BLACK.
What do you think, sirs?
--
========*Opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. Deal with it.*========
* David Anderson * lan...@cybercom.net * http://www.cybercom.net/~lando5 *
* "Here it is: 'Breach Hull, All Die.' Even had it underlined. Oh, well...live *
* and learn. I won't do THAT again!" --Crow T. Robot, MST3K: The Movie *
==========*MSTie #46861 * Sliders, Nowhere Man, Duckman & Kindred fan*==========
MSTGamera
American Heritage Dictionary defines joke as:
1. Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an
amusing story with a punch line.
2. A mischievous trick; a prank.
3. An amusing or ludicrous incident or situation.
4. Informal. a. Something not to be taken seriously; a triviality: The
accident was no joke. b. An object of amusement or laughter; a
laughingstock: His preference for loud ties was the joke of the office.
Read definetion #4 then read my pervios post and you will reolaise IT WAS
A JOKE NOT INTENDED TO START A MAC PC WAR!!!!!!! Let's contiune dicussing
what the subject heading says ok?
If you make fun of this post i will come into your house belt you around
the mouth and........
And now i'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife!!
Mike Trainor
Bill Partsch
In article <4pg4j8$b...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, mstg...@aol.com
(MSTGamera) wrote:
Let's contiune dicussing
> what the subject heading says ok?
>
>
> If you make fun of this post i will come into your house belt you around
> the mouth and........
> And now i'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife!!
> Mike Trainor
Hi, folks. I didn't see the initial post in this thread, but I would say
that Tom probably is smarter than Crow, although not by much, and I
haven't put too much energy into the issue. I do know that Tom is a better
singer and that Crow does a better Gregory Peck. In fact, every time I saw
Peck in "Space Travelers," my humor sensors went up as I waited for Crow
to put some knee-slapping comments into Greg's mouth.
If you haven't guessed, I'm kinda new to MST3K. My cable system just added
Comedy Central in January. So I'm making up for lost time as fast as I
can. I haven't taped religiously (which I am now regretting), but I've got
a couple dozen shows on tape. I just saw "Wild Horses" for the first time,
and even though Clay and Frank's riffs in the theater were less than
expected, the process of watching them end up on the SOL and go into the
theater was giddily delicious. I also liked the first show Mike hosted,
when he neglected to bring Tom in. Until then, I didn't know why Joel had
to carry Tom in the first place.
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but the show is truly a wonderful
thing. I like it for the same reasons I like The Simpsons, ESPN's
SportsCenter and Furniture to Go on The Learning Channel--it's
intelligent, it's original and it's filled with pop culture references.
Over and out.
--Bill
myka...@imap2.asu.edu
: a couple dozen shows on tape. I just saw "Wild Horses" for the first time,
: and even though Clay and Frank's riffs in the theater were less than
: expected, the process of watching them end up on the SOL and go into the
: theater was giddily delicious. I also liked the first show Mike hosted,
: when he neglected to bring Tom in. Until then, I didn't know why Joel had
: to carry Tom in the first place.
Hey,
As a new viewer myself, just got DSS in March, I also just saw "Last of
the Wild Horses" for the first time. I really enjoyed the changing of
roles, though it was over almost before it began.
I forgot to tape "Marooned" on Saturday. How was it?
I drank too many shots of Tequila with my Paxies and passed out
around 1:00. Woke up at 4:00 and was pissed when I realized I forgot to
put a tape in.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <4p588m$f...@news.gate.net>,
Soundwave [Chad Gould] <cgo...@gate.net> wrote:
>
>-sw- [Who nonetheless admits a liking to Windows NT, but is not sure
>whether NT beats a pink plastic flamingo as far as OSs go.]
You sure you want to use that word in a sentence about Operating Systems?
Roger M. "Yo, Taligent!" Wilcox
Hacker0123
did anyone tape "wild horses" I missed it!!!!
Hacke...@aol.com= Mike Trainor
Any spelling misates you encounter ignore
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