[MiSTed] MAKE.MONEY.REAL.FAST!!
Michael K. Neylon
all, we transported into his dream, where he and the Bots are sitting
in the theater...]
>From: gel...@netaxs.com
>Subject: MAKE.MONEY.REAL.FAST!!
CROW: As opposed to MAKE.MONEY.FAST.
TOM: Or MAKE.MONEY.BLINDINGLY.FAST.
>Date: 15 Aug 1994 07:18:15 GMT
>Organization: Net Access - New York's Public Internet Site
>Lines: 21
>Message-ID: <32n4rn$6...@dunx1.ocs.drexel.edu>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: ts1.noc.drexel.edu
MIKE: As long as this isn't another one of those McElwaine posts...
CROW: Well, there i$ ca$h involved...I wouldn't be $urpri$ed.
MIKE: Stop that! That's evil!
CROW: $orry, I mean, Sorry...Just a tiny glitz in the ol' programming.
> This is NOT a chain letter,
TOM: But a cleverly disguised letter bomb! RUN!
> but a legal way to earn cash in the
>United States and most other countries.
CROW: Aside from actually working and all, I mean.
> If you do not believe me, check
>postal regulation #1A-10-2B which states that if a item is sold through
>the mail, it constitutes a service.
TOM: But I though postal regulation #1A-10-2B had to do with carrying
weapons to work and all..
CROW: No, that's the Ferengi Rule of Acquistition #389.
TOM: Ah..WHAT?!
> I am selling index cards.
MIKE: And paper clips...
CROW: And staples...
TOM: And pencils...
> Each card has a list of names on the
>front and a set of instructions on the back.
TOM: OH, I see...he's selling the bootleg "Magic: The Gathering" cards!
> Using the techniques I
>alone have developed,
ALL: [giggle to themselves]
> you can LITERALLY EARN THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in a
> matter of ONLY DAYS.
MIKE: Of course, there are all those startup costs and all. In the end,
I made about 5 cents.
> It requires almost no effort on your part, all you
>have to do is mail your payment of $1 for your first index card to the
>address appearing at the end of this letter.
ALL: ONE DOLLAR FOR AN INDEX CARD?!!
CROW: Geez, what a rip. I can go to those warehouse places and get
thousand for about 10 cents.
> You will follow the
>instructions listed on the back of the card.
MIKE: If you choose to accept this mission...
> The instructions are simple
>to follow, and involve simply crossing off one of the names appearing in
>the list on the front of the card, and replacing it with your name.
CROW: Oh, this is probably how they got the jury for the OJ trial.
> This
>constitutes a legal service.
TOM: You are now man and wife.
> Hurry, this deal may not be here tommorrow,
MIKE: Quick! We may run out of index cards any day now!
>mail your payment for $1 as soon as possible to this address:
CROW: Crow T. Robot
Satellite of Love
c/o Deep 13
Bowels of the Earth, USA
TOM: You wish, Crow.
>Mail Payment To:
> Avi Freedman
> P.O. Box 502
> Glenside, PA 19038
MIKE: Ahh, Hickville...go fig. By the way, what's the movie? I seemed
to have missed it.
TOM: Oh, something called "Manos II"
ALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Mike wakes up screaming. Tom and Crow are by his bed.]
CROW: Mike! Mike! What's the problem?
MIKE: I don't know guys. I just had this really weird dream. Something
about index cards and all.
[Tom and Crow look at each other]
T&C: Index cards?
TOM: Ohhh boy.
MIKE: What? What's the problem?
CROW: Well, you see, Mike... [giggles]
TOM: Come on, buddy, spit it out...
CROW: Well, there was this post to the net, you see...
[Mike grabs Crow by neck]
MIKE: Tell me, Crow!
CROW: [with a strained throat effect] Well...I ..replied...and...I...just
...got...all...these...cards...in..the...mail...and...and...
MIKE: How many?
CROW: Oh..about...ten-thousand...
[Mike drops Crow]
MIKE: T-t-t-ten th-th-thousand? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [faints]
----------------------------------------------------------------------
MST3K is Copyright BBI and all that jazz. This work is not meant
to insult the author or anyone. It is all done in the name of COMEDY.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
> I am selling index cards.
---
Michael K. Neylon, Graduate Student | "That computer is
Dept. of ChE, Univ. of Michigan | running really slow...
mne...@engin.umich.edu | it must be System 7!"
http://www.engin.umich.edu/labs/mel/mneylon/ | -Crow T. Robot, MST3000
-stoney-
: >Mail Payment To:
: > Avi Freedman
: > P.O. Box 502
: > Glenside, PA 19038
: MIKE: Ahh, Hickville...go fig. By the way, what's the movie? I seemed
: to have missed it.
: TOM: Oh, something called "Manos II"
: ALL: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Good one. The evil bit is, Avi Freedman is the guy that runs netaxs.com,
and everyone on the mail system's been receiving the typical mailbombs..
-k
Diana Hamilton
>Good one. The evil bit is, Avi Freedman is the guy that runs netaxs.com,
>and everyone on the mail system's been receiving the typical mailbombs..
It *was* an evil bit. Here's the apology/explanation on rec.food.cooking.
Oh, and nice MSTing, Mr. Neylon!
Diana
*Waiting to tape (then throw away) Manos II
***
From: j...@netaxs.com (Justin Olexy)
Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
Subject: RE: "Must.read.this!!!"
Date: 16 Aug 1994 03:42:19 GMT
Organization: Netaxs BBS and shell accounts!
I just got email concerning that message that was posted on this
newsgroup. The following is quoted from my sysadmin:
[08/15] Our forger is at work again... he posted to > 25 newsgroups, going
through DREXEL to do so. We cannot cancel the posts, since they
did not originate with our news server. - Avi
Sorry about the post... but I, of course, did not post this message, and
hope this forge didn't get to any more newsgroups :-(
--
Justin Olexy
j...@netaxs.com
N3PKV
finger for public PGP key