MST3Kd: "Highleaper part 2"
David G White
> The following is the second part of HIGHLEAPER.
Crow: No! No...no...(sniffing) Why does this have to continue, Joel?
Joel: I wish I knew, Crow. I wish I knew.
> The story
> a work is progess.
Tom: Where's Progess?
Joel: East of Java, maybe?
> I don't know how many parts it'll be
> but it won't be book length, I hope and promise. :)
Joel: So do we, buddy. So do we.
> I am always interested in any comments, feedback, discussion
> questions, etc.
Crow: Well, then prepare to be deluged.
> That is how I can get my stories to
> realativly high quality.
Tom: Two things. First, the word is "relatively." Second, relative to
what?
Joel: Probably "Cyborged!!" Anything looks high quality compared to that.
> please let me know what you think.
> part 3 is almost ready, you should be seeing it in a couple
> of days.
Crow: Same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.
> till then,
> Larry
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom: Again, no-one will be admitted during the exciting hyphenation
sequence.
> Lawrence E. Nagy
> 1160 Boyer Rd
> Erie,
Joel: Indiana?
> PA 16511
Crow: Remember this address, folks! If you're ever in Erie, give him a
call! Bring guns.
Joel: Crow!
> I have no doubt at all the Devil Grins,
> As seas of ink I splatter.
> Ye gods, forgive my "literary" sins-
> The other kind don't matter.
> -- Robert W. Service
Joel: Man, that's asking a lot. Even from the devil.
> HIGHLEAPER
> part 2
>
> Al watched his friend's body laying very still on the
> low bunk.
Tom: Because Al always had dibs on the top bunk.
Crow: No fair! How come I never get to be on top?
> Every time Sam leaped, Al would come here to
Joel: Ask "How high?"
> watch and wait. Al knew that one of these days Sam would
> sit up and be himself again, not some stranger out of the
> past.
Crow: Out of the past he rode, into the small town. Things there needed
to be set right.
Joel: Who was that masked stranger, anyhoo?
Tom: Heigh-ho Silver, away!
> Sam appeared to be illuminated by a very faint blue
> light. "Here it come's." Al said to his comrades in the
> control booth.
Joel: His evil Soviet masters?
Tom: Probably not.
> Suddenly Sam started writhe in pain, he clutched his
> side and rolled from the bunk landing on his knees.
> Sitting on his heals
Tom: Again with the heals!
Joel: Somebody better give this guy a lecture about homophones.
> and leaning back against the edge of
> the bunk he continued to clutch his side, throwing his
> head back he screamed in pure agony.
Crow: Owie owie owie. It's hot and it hurts and stuff.
> Al turned toward the observation window "Quick get in
> here he's bleeding."
Tom: That Al is so observant.
> Blood poured out from between the fingers of the hand
> he clutched to his side.
Joel: Oh, the pain. The pain...
> Other parts of Sam's body where
Crow: The sun don't shine?
Tom: I'd rather not think about it.
> also bleeding. Cuts had appeared under Sam's clothes on
> his arms, torso and legs.
Crow: Wait, if they're under his clothes, how did Al know this?
Joel: Well, I suppose you can do all sorts of things when you're a
hologram.
> Several small scrapes had
> opened up on his face.
Crow: Tonight on "Emergency: 911." A scientist is injured. The rescue
team comes to his aid, but are they too late? I'm William Shatner,
and I'll be your host tonight.
> The staff pushed Al aside and tackled Sam to the
> ground.
Tom: This, of course, only compounded Sam's injuries and he died several
hours later in a hospital, alone and unloved.
Crow: Yeah, we wish!
> They immediately starting cutting away the white
> jump suit he was wearing to get to the wounds.
Joel: But they cut to deep, and bone bits and tendons spattered!
Tom: Hey, that's kind of graphic, isn't it?
Joel: You're right. I should watch it.
> "This is really deep."
Crow: Yeah, man, deep.
Joel: Cool, daddy-o, I'm with you.
Tom: I pick up your vibes, hepcat.
> a female voice said "He's lost
> a lot of blood."
> "He's unconscious." another voice said shortly "Get
> the KIT in here.
Joel: Oh no! Now they're dragging "Knight Rider" into this too!
All: Aaaah!
> Let's go we're losing him."
> During the commotion Al just stood back and watched in
> disbelief.
Tom: Then he prodded the walls with his ten foot pole and began to search
for secret doors.
> Was it all going to end this quick, what the
> hell had he been doing?
Joel: Which he, Sam, Al, or the guy Sam leaped into?
Tom: Who knows?
Crow: Who cares?
> All of a sudden it dawned on him
> "Sam, what's happening to Sam?"
> Al ran toward the imaging chamber grabbing his
> hand-link off its shelf without even slowing down.
>"Gushie,
Joel: What an interesting name. I wonder how he got it.
Crow: Well, I hear there was this incident in boarding school...
Joel: Crow, we don't want to hear about it.
> center me on Sam NOW." He yelled at the control
> room.
Tom: I'm coming, Beanie Boy!
> "I'm trying." Gushie's voice came back over the
> speaker. "But there's a lot of interference, almost as if
> there's a short circuit
Crow: Short Circuit? Don't tell me they're going to drag Ally Sheedy and
Steve Gutenberg into this too!
All: Aaaaah!
> somewhere."
> "I don't care what you have to do," Al yelled "get me
> there, now!"
> The imaging chamber door opened revealing Tina
Tom: Whoa, revealing Tina sure is hot!
Joel: I think I'm in love.
> in her
> white project jump suit. She had blood on both hands and
> down the front of her smock.
Joel: A bloody smock? She must be into performance art.
> There were even smudges
> across her forehead where she had pushed hair out of her
> eyes.
Crow: Smudges of what? Ketchup?
> Tears ran down her cheeks, one hand reached up
> gripping her throat with the other hand supporting it.
Tom: Life's too good for me! Goodbye, world!
Joel: She must be the Boston Self-Strangler.
> "The wound was too deep." she whispered "He'd lost too
> much
Joel: Credibility after appearing in "Necessary Roughness?"
> blood." She hesitated as she sniffled back a sob and
> tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks, smudging more
> blood across them.
Tom: The tears or the cheeks?
Joel: You think the author's going to tell us?
> "There really wasn't anything we could
> have done."
Tom: Tonight, on a very special Trapper John, MD.
> Everything started to swirl around Al as Tina turned
> away closing the chamber door.
Joel: Mm-HMMMMmmmm, what hallucinations! That's mighty good weed!
> The room went black, Al
> stumbled backward in daze tripping over his own feet, he
> sat down hard and in the middle of the floor.
> Suddenly Al was in the back seat of a car.
Crow: Man, that Al gets action without even consciously trying!
Joel: I wish I was like him. Cool.
> They were
> driving down a deserted road at night.
Tom: They? Who else was there besides Al?
> Al could see the
> faint glow of city lights in the distance.
Joel: No, they're on the "City Limits!"
Crow: Aaargh, it's just one bad reference after another!
re was Sam?
Crow: And when you find him, can you find his yellow cup?
> he couldn't see over the high back of the bucket seat in
> front of him and was about to adjust his position when the
> driver spoke.
Tom: Talking golf clubs? Will wonders never cease?
> "Did I tell you about Michelle?"
Joel: Your belle?
> "No" came a voice from the passenger seat.
Joel: But strangely, there was no body!
Crow & Tom: Aaaaah!
> The hand-link said that Sam was the passenger. Al
> knew better then to make himself known to Sam right away.
Tom: It was always best to wait for the most embarrassing situation
to make yourself known. It said so in the hologram guidebook.
> Sam's reaction could make his companion nervous to say the
> least.
> "She's really great." the young driver said "You know
> what she calls me? "
Joel: A pig-headed male chauvinist who thinks only with his genitals?
> He never let Sam respond, he just kept talking, "She
> calls me Richard."
Tom: Could be worse. She could call you "Dick."
Crow: It probably suits him better.
> he said proudly "She says Richie is a
> boy's name."
Crow: (high-pitched voice) And she says I'm too feminine to deserve
it!
> "That's good to know, Richard." Sam said.
> Richie drove on for a few moments, as if contemplating
Tom: The nature of the universe?
> something then said with a grin "You know, Mac, I think
> we'd better stick with Richie."
> "What ever you say, it's your name."
Joel: Copyright and trademark, 1993, Richard.
> Al started punching what little information he had
> into the hand-lank
Tom: That wouldn't be related to the hand-link in any way, would it?
> causing it to beep. Sam immediately
> sat up from his slouched position and looked back at Al.
> Sam's host
Crow: Host? He didn't exactly invite Sam, did he?
Joel: Well, it's a polite way of saying things.
> had long black hair tied back in a tail. He
> looked tall with sharp features and dark eyes.
Tom: And he lived a life of quiet loneliness.
> He wore
> jeans and a white t-shirt. The shirt had several blood
> stained cuts on it.
> Sam immediately gave Al his patented 'What took you so
> long look'
Joel: Actually, it's only patent pending, but why split hairs?
> and said to his companion "Pull over, I need
> some air."
Crow: (high-pitched voice) Why, isn't there enough air in the car for
you?
> The Trans-Am immediately pulled over and parked in the
> grass by the side of the road. As soon as the car was
> stopped, Sam turned to Richie and said "Stay here."
Tom: Good boy. Good Richie. Play dead. Good boy.
> He got out of the car and walk into a field
Crow: No! More fields! It's Manos all over again!
All: Aaaaah!
> away from
> the car. Al was suddenly beside him.
> "What took you so long." Sam said trying not to talk
> directly to his friend.
> Al was ashen and visible shaken.
Joel: Shaken bake?
Tom: Shaken not stirred?
> "We had trouble in
> the waiting room."
Crow: They ran out of back issues of Highlights magazine and I was
getting really bored.
> He said. "Sam I've got to tell you
> something."
Tom: Can't you see what I'm trying to say? I love you!
> "What?" Sam was suddenly very concerned. Al very
> rarely informed him of what was going on in the labs.
Joel: Yeah, and he never let him play any reindeer games either!
> "What's happened, was someone hurt?"
> "The man you leaped into," Al said slowly "died soon
> after he arrived."
Crow: Hey, that's rude, dying in my body!
Tom: Yeah. Isn't anybody considerate any more?
> "Al," Sam said in disbelief "what happened, was it the
> leap, something really weird happened when I leaped in."
Joel: And now I can only use one terminal punctuation mark for every
three sentences, it's really weird, what do you think Al?
> "No," Al said and kind of pointed to the rips in Sam's
> clothes "I think he came that way."
> "So when I leap out, a dead man leaps back in my
> place?"
Crow: (Bela Lugosi voice) How fortunate! This simplifies everything!
> Sam said in disbelief.
Tom: Hey Joel, how do you disbelieve anyway?
Joel: Got me. I've searched the DM's Guide a hundred times and it's not
mentioned anywhere!
> He looked back at the
> young man leaning against the hood of the car.
> "He thinks his friend survived that fight." Sam said.
> "Yea, what happened before I got to you?" Al asked.
> "It doesn't matter right now." Sam said sternly "Just
> tell me who I am
Joel: You're Batman!
> and what I'm suppose to do."
Tom: You've got to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.
> Al shuffled around a bit then said "We don't know."
> "What?"
Crow: Hmmm....are you known for your work in the theater?
Joel: Bzzt! Guess again!
> "Well he couldn't very well tell us." Al said "and
> they don't come in with ID." Al then beat his hand
Joel: Hey, don't do that in public! Little kids could be reading this!
> link
> several times. "Ziggy is having a hard time tracing this
> one she
Tom: Since when has Ziggy been a she?
Joel: Beats me. We don't get comics up here often.
> thinks she blew some circuits bringing that leap
> in."
> Al then smiled with inspiration
Joel: Ah, I feel an afflatus coming on!
Crow: Thank god I'm not equipped with olfactory circuits!
Joel: What?
> "Do you have a
> wallet?" Just look at your driver's license."
> The suggestion was so simple it was stupid.
Crow: Much like this fanfic.
> "Did my
> multi-million dollar high-bred computer
Tom: Inbred is more like it.
Joel: How do you breed computers, anyway?
> come up with that
> brilliant suggestion?" Sam asked as he took his wallet out
> of his back pocket.
> The wallet was almost empty, some cash, a few slips of
> paper and a driver's license. Sam looked at the picture,
> it was the same long-haired man he seen in the passenger's
> side makeup mirror.
Joel: But that doesn't do us any good! We need the ID of the man
Sam leaped into!
> "Ian McShane." Al said, reading through Sam's
> shoulder.
Crow: McShane?
Tom: McBain?
Joel: McCloud?
Crow: McElwaine?
All: Aaaaaaaaaah!
> "Now you have a name. Go run your checks
Tom: Remember to make them payable to "Stallions' Gate." And don't
forget to endorse them.
> and tell me
> what I have to do to get out of here."
Joel: Why, Sam, you've always had the power to leave. Just click your
heels three times and say "There's no place like home."
Crow: Don't you mean "heals?"
> Sam was getting
> very nervous about standing by the side of street in a
> torn and bloody t-shirt talking to himself. A sure way to
> end up in the nut house.
Joel: As if believing that you were "leaping" into other people's bodies
and helping set their lives straight wasn't reason enough.
> Al was just about to open the chamber door when Sam
> added "Oh, and run the plates on the car, they might give
> us a little more information."
> "Ziggy's already got them." Al assured his friend.
>
Crow: Is it over?
Tom: In your dreams, pal.
> Sam walked by Richie who just watched him pass. "Let's
> go."
Tom: Voltron! I'll form the leg!
Crow: I'll be the hand!
Joel: And I'll form the head!
All: Let's go!
> Sam said as he got back in the car.
> Richie continued to lean on the car with his arms
> folded in front of him. He seemed to come to a decision
> and got back behind the weel.
Tom: "Weel?" One of the fundamental concepts of human civilization and
he can't spell it?
> They were soon moving
> again, where to, Sam had no idea.
Crow: And let's leave it that way.
> to be continued.................
Tom: Come on, guys, let's get out of here before he posts part 3...
1...2...3...4...5...6...G
(the inside of the S.O.L. Crow and Tom are alone.)
Crow: Al, who am I?
Tom: Well, apparently you're a schoolboy named Johnny, and you're supposed
to help him care.
Crow: Care?
Tom: Yeah, well, apparently he doesn't.
Crow: Do you know how bogus this sounds, Al? And how do you explain the
apes? What about the damn dirty apes?
Tom: Well, according to Ziggy, this is a planet where apes evolved from
men.
Crow: This is just too much to believe. I keep thinking I'm going to see
the Statue of Liberty any day now!
(Joel walks in)
Joel: Hi, guys, what are you doing?
Tom: Oh, we're just trying to run more "What If" scenarios for this movie,
but none of them seem to be working.
Crow: What stumps me is why anyone would want to cross these two movies in
the first place. Aren't there much better crossovers that could be
posted?
Joel: Well, you've got a point there, Crow. Personally, I would pay to see
a Quantum Leap/Glengarry Glen Ross crossover.
Tom: Glengarry Glen Ross? That would be horrible! What I'd really like to
see is a Quantum Leap/A-Team crossover.
Joel: Perhaps Quantum Leap and the last episode of M*A*S*H?
Crow: Hey, how about a Gamera crossover? "Al, who am I?" "It says here
that you're supposed to be friends to all small children."
Tom: He he he...
Joel: But the point is, guys, there's a million better crossovers out
there, but unless you can write really well or con someone else into
writing them, this is the kind of stuff you're going to get stuck
with.
Crow: Write? As in work? Count me out. (walks off)
Tom: Yeah, I'm afraid I don't have time, Joel. (exits)
Joel: Well, I had hope for those two. Who knows, maybe the fanfics they
might have written would have enlightened the world and created a
perfect utopia. (pause) But who am I kidding. Oh, we've got commercial
sign.