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[ MiSTed ] Sonic the Hedgehog: Jaded Views ( 4 / 4 )

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Joseph Nebus

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Jun 24, 2000, 3:00:00 AM6/24/00
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JOEL: I just can't get enough of improv comedy.
TOM: Tell me about it.

>
> Chapter 10 The Battle

JOEL: Knowing is half this chapter.

>
> Blam! The opera house wall to Jade's left exploded. A voice
> shouted, as Jade was beginning the swing,

CROW: And Maxl was halfway through the teeter-totter.
TOM: While Sonic got lost on the slide.

> "Maxl! Your shoes are
> untied!"
>
> Maxl bent down to examine his shoes.

JOEL: [ Schwarzenegger accent ] On closer examination these are
loafers.

> Jade swung over his head,
> and the force of the swing

CROW: Combined with the Army of the Tilt-a-Whirl

> caused her to trip over him and land the

TOM: Cake out in the rain.

> katana in the wall.
>
> Jade glared angrily at the one who had spoken -- Amaroq.

CROW: Ah am an island!

> "Stupid, interfering wolf!" she said hatefully.

JOEL: You see? Your stupid Mobian brains! Stupid stupid stupid!

> "You've just sealed
> your fate!"
>
> Amaroq threw back his head and laughed.

TOM: That Marmaduke is one -- big -- dog!

>
> "Jade?" Maxl said, and looked up. "How did ya follow me?

CROW: To start with, Maxl, you're about as stealthy as NBC.

> I'll
> kill ya...just as soon as I'm done figurin' out how to tie my
> shoes!"

JOEL: Don't use a bow tie, that's just trouble.

>
> "Whoa," Amaroq said, "what kind of shampoo do you use,
> Valvoline or Q-Lube?"
>
> "Pennzoil," Maxl replied,

TOM: So from all experiences and cultures of the humans who've been
teleported to Mobius, the only thing the Freedom Fighters
adopted was product placement?

> and looked back down at his sandals.
>
> Jade advanced on Amaroq, ready to strike.

JOEL: [ Waving his arms ] I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!

> Suddenly, she was
> kicked from behind, knocking her down.
>
> Kabuki smiled. "Had enough, witch?" she asked.
>

CROW: All the white-hot intense combat of fourth period gym.

> "Not quite," Jade replied. She grinned, and Kabuki's ring
> started to glow. Kabuki disappeared.

JOEL: Charlie X is going to get a spanking.
CROW: Hey, Charlie *X*!
JOEL: Ooh, yeah!

> "Who's next?" Jade asked.

TOM: Hot dog eating contest.

>
> "That would be me," Amaroq replied. He activated his
> super-powerful Initiation 27

CROW: Oh, right, that's the ballot question about issuing bonds for
a new aqueduct.

> to defeat Jade. However, Jade crossed
> her eyes and phased, so all the Initiation 27 succeeded in doing was
> destroying the Jell-O floor,

TOM: The loss of wackiness was keenly felt.

> causing everyone to fall to the first
> basement.
>
> "I'll deal with you later," Amaroq growled,

CROW: I have a science report on snails I have to do first.

> "when I
> regenerate. For now, well..." He whistled, and a bunch of other
> Freedom Fighters appeared.

JOEL: Oh, it's the people of Sweethaven, come to greet Popeye.

>
> "What's going on?!" Sonic asked.

TOM: We're recording a new "Bloopers" special.

>
> "We had Dulcy follow ANT 100," Amaroq explained,

CROW: Oh, good. Dulcy *always* gets things moving again.
TOM: Dulcy is the Sonic fanfiction version of the drum solo.

> "A few of us
> rode her, and the rest followed, some on foot and some in the
> biplane."

JOEL: And some of us built a giant wooden bunny and...

>
> While Jade was distracted, X3 attacked her from behind,

TOM: [ As pro wrestling announcer ] Hitting her with a folding chair,
and the referees must be asleep! They call this a sport!

> grabbing her arm in his mouth.

CROW: [ Baby talking ] Oooh, you're so sweet, I could just eat you up!
Yes, I could!

> X appeared, and powered-up his
> X-Buster to destroy her.

JOEL: Finally, something to reduce the number of X's in this story.

>
> Jade's arm suddenly turned white. It singed X3's mouth,
> causing him to revert to his normal form.

TOM: That of a giant robotic Toucan Sam.

> X fired, but Jade dodged.

CROW: And somewhere, a child cried out in the night.

>
> Sonic tried to spin-dash Jade

TOM: With a sprinkling of paprika.

> from one end; Knuckles from the
> other. Jade jumped, and they hit each-other, knocking themselves
> out.

JOEL: The Zan and Jana of Mobius.

>
> "Hmmm," Maxl said to himself. "Good ting I brought dis
> duct-tape..." He wrapped the tape around his sandals. "Dat's
> bettah!"

TOM: I can't believe it's not bettah.

>
> Jade ran, but was tripped by Sally, and flew into Bunnie's
> arms. Bunnie held Jade,

CROW: [ Makes a loud kiss noise ]

> as Rotor appeared with his trusty
> cattle-prod.

TOM: Rotor brought that along just in case he captured the Creature
from the Black Lagoon.

>
> "Enough!" Jade shouted. She clicked her heels together, and
> said, "There's no place like home!"

JOEL: And only a few places like the mall!

> She, Bunnie, and Maxl all
> disappeared.
>

CROW: Heeey -- if we can just dump Antoine, the Irritating Squad will
be all gone!

> "They've teleported!" X exclaimed.

ALL: *You* teleported!
TOM: Somebody get the aerosol, *please*!

>
> "Well, then, let's find 'em!" Amaroq growled.
>

CROW: Ahem. Olly olly oxen-free! ... Well, done all I can do.

> "Check," X said. "We'll split into groups of two.

JOEL: Those of you who aren't groups of two will undergo mitosis.

> I'll go with
> Tails, and check the surrounding areas."

CROW: You know, the Greater Great Forest Metropolitan region.

> He climbed the wall back up
> to what used to be the first floor, and went to the opening.

TOM: Just as I suspected! We're surrounded on all sides by film!

>
> "I'll get Dulcy," Sally said.

CROW: Dulcy appears a lot in these fanfics, considering she never gets
on screen.

> "We'll see if Jade's in any
> trees."

TOM: And after that, we'll conduct a thorough search of the
bookshelves and the lawn care stores.

>
> "I'll take you out, Aunt Sally," Tails said. He flew up to the
> opening,

JOEL: I think if I had *meant* whirlybird, I would have *said*
whirlybird.

> holding Sally's hands. He let her go outside, then followed
> X.
>
> "I'll stay here and

CROW: Maybe set up a car dealership, ice cream stand, whatever.

> tend to the unconscious ones," Rotor said
> diligently.
>
> "I should stay here, too," X3 said.

TOM: I'm not very useful.

> "I'm still in some pain."
>
> "Much as I hate to admit it," Amaroq said,

JOEL: I'd be happy if there were more words like 'coterie.'

> "I can't really do
> much at this point. Using Initiation 27 wore me out."

CROW: The Initiation 27 wasn't so bad, it was the yellow food dye
number five that was the problem.

>
> "I weel stay too," Antoine said.
>

JOEL: You can't have enough comic relief in one scene.

> "I'll pair up with Xavi..." Kate broke off in the middle of
> her sentence. "Say...where is Xavier?"

TOM: I think he's in Marvel comics, raising a band of superheroes.

>
> Chapter 11 Going Down

JOEL: To unlucky town?

>
> "I haven't seen him since he left!" Rotor exclaimed.

CROW: Heck, I'm not even seeing you, now.

>
> "I'll find him," Kate said.

TOM: I have the astonishing ability to advance the plot.

> A faint glow surrounded her.
> Suddenly, she exclaimed, "He went this way!"

[ JOEL stands up and points, crossing his arms. ]

>
> She dove down the hole Hedgehog X and the weight had made

JOEL: Back when they were still talking to each other.

> (which had somehow gone unnoticed through the whole battle)

TOM: 'Cause everyone was stupid.

> head-first.

[ CROW makes loud, chomping noises ]

>
> "I'm goin' after her," Amaroq said with determination.

TOM: If he hadn't said it with determination, we wouldn't have
believed him.

> With a
> whoop, he jumped in after her, forgetting that he was supposed to be
> resting.

[ CROW chomps some more ]
CROW: Yummy!

>
> They fell a few floors, then found their target.

JOEL: They really should've waited for the elevator.

> Kate, using
> the power of the Chaos Emeralds,

TOM: Which by the way she has, so don't think she's a dummy.

> and Amaroq, using the Moon Gems,

CROW: Which by the way he has, so don't think *he's* a dummy.

> stopped and floated in mid-air, listening.
>
> "Oh, what the who-ha happened?"

TOM: [ Sung to 'I've been working on the railroad' ]
All the doo-dah-diddly long day!

> came a groggy voice.
>
> Jade checked her watch.

CROW: [ As Jade ] Oh, lovely, now somebody stole my whole arm.

> "You've been unconscious for 7
> minutes, rabbit," she observed.

JOEL: Any longer and you won't be credited for appearing
in this fanfic at all.

> "I liked you better that way.

CROW: But I think I'd like you less if you were twice as tall,
half as wide, and voiced by Gary Owens.

> I
> don't want to risk having you grab me again, so I guess I'll just

TOM: Explain it all to you in... a song!

> put up a barrier around me...and Maxl!"
>
> Bunnie, whose head had cleared,

JOEL: Ooh, her cyborg parts have been upgraded to iMacs.

> rushed toward Jade. She ran to
> a spot a few feet away from the badgers,

CROW: Bunnie's a highly trained operative and so knows how to miss.

> and bounced back to her
> original position.
>
> "No use," Kabuki said grimly.

JOEL: [ As Kabuki ] By the way, I want to thank everybody for letting
me back in the fanfic after Jade disintegrated me and all that.
TOM: See, if you get killed on Mobius that just means you have to
spend more time with Bunnie and Antoine.

> "Looks like our only choice is

CROW: Which Mighty Ducks movie actually was the best.

> to stand here and watch."

TOM: I hope she at least starts making silly faces at them.

>
> "Exactly!" Jade said gleefully.
>
> "That's what you think!"

JOEL: Actually, I was thinking about candy!

> The cry came from three voices:

TOM: Hellooooooooooooooooo...
CROW: Helloooooooooooooo...
JOEL: Helloooooooooo...

> Amaroq and Kate, as well as a hedgehog who had been hidden in the
> shadows.

ALL: Hello!

>
> Using their combined powers, the three sapped away Jade's
> force-field's energy in a nanosecond.

ALL: [ Making overdone slurping noises ]
JOEL: I love those chocolate force-field shakes.

>
> "Jig's up," Amaroq growled.

TOM: Square dancing's down.

>
> "Give yourself up," Kate said, "if you value your existence."
>

CROW: Packbell's unusually effective this story.

> Bunnie opened her mouth to say something,

TOM: And she swallows a bug.

> but in a quick
> movement, Jade reached for her boot.
>
> "Maxl! Move it!"

JOEL: Shake it like you mean it!

> Hedgehog X shouted. "She's got a..."

CROW: Toaster oven!
JOEL: Vaseline dependency!
TOM: Leading cheese importer

>
> "Knife," Jade finished for him,

ALL: Ooooh.
CROW: I could've sworn I was right.

> pressing the steel against
> Maxl's neck. "Now, you shall all watch as I kill him!"

TOM: Is there anybody here who's not OK with that?
JOEL: I'm cool.
CROW: Me too.

>
> "Wait a minute!" Kabuki said.

JOEL: You haven't told us which was your favorite New Kid on the Block!

> "You, him, and Tracker are all
> connected...

CROW: No, really! We're not just making this up!

> if you kill him, you'll kill yourself!"
>
> "That's possible," Jade acknowledged,

TOM: But it's also possible they're setting us up for the best
surprise birthday party ever.

> "but frankly, I just
> don't care!" She turned to Maxl.

JOEL: Are you still here?

> "Any last requests, weakling?"
>

TOM: It's a little odd, but I'd like the Beatles, "Magical Mystery
Tour," going out to that special someone who knows who she is.

> "Ummm, yeah," Maxl said. "Got any meatloaf?"

CROW: No, but we can offer a good deal on Tim Curry.

>
> "No," Jade replied. "Anything else?"

JOEL: Uh, is he a living American male?
TOM: Is he bigger than a breadbox?
CROW: Does it relate in any way to Yvonne Craig?

>
> "Well...my allergies have really been botherin' me lately,"

CROW: Staying up late, throwing parties, never filling up the gas tank.

> Maxl said. "Mind if I blow my nose?"
>

TOM: Heck, I don't mind if you twirl your duodenom.

> "You could use it," Jade acknowledged. "All right, here's a
> hank

JOEL: And there's a Jib.

> -- ewww!"
>
> Maxl had blown his nose all over the sleeve of his dirty
> shirt.

CROW: [ As Maxl ] Hey, it was relatively clean.

> The others in the room were all grimacing.

TOM: Except for Grimace, who was hamburgling.

>
> "Why, you disgusting little..." Jade suddenly broke off and
> started screaming.

JOEL: Aaah! A mouse!

> Her appearance started to distort, so that her
> face looked like it was being pressed against a glass door,

TOM: If you keep making that face it'll freeze like that.

> and the
> rest of her was beginning to dissolve.

CROW: The tragic reality of cotton candy people.

> Within seconds, she wasn't
> there anymore.

JOEL: Now why doesn't that work on the Vice-Principal?

>
> For some time, no-one spoke.

TOM: Jade was rescued alive, well, and of normal size
some eight thousand miles away.

> Finally, Maxl was the one to
> break the silence.

CROW: Oh, we just can't have nice silence around here.

> "Whoa," he gasped.
>
> "I second that," HX replied.
>

TOM: Yes, and, uh, there's more of that coming to you, Packbell,
if you ever show your face again.

> "Looks like my nasal discharge somehow displaced Jade into
> another dimension," Maxl mused, stroking the hair on his chin
> tentatively.

JOEL: The creepy thing is if I died right now, that would be the
last thought I'd ever have. Not thinking of my family,
my friends, everything I ever hoped or dreamed. but talk
about how Maxl's nasal discharge displaced Jade into
another dimension.

>
> The others gaped.
>
> "How did you suddenly get so smart?!" Amaroq asked.

TOM: I took notes on last week's "Voyager."

>
> "And what the who-ha happened to yo' funny accent?" Bunnie
> wondered.

CROW: That line works better if you imagine Bunnie didn't say it,
but Johnny Bravo did.

>
> "If I may answer both questions at once," Maxl said,

TOM: It still won't make the fanfic make actual sense.

> "Jade's
> very existence in the same world as I am causes me to go berserk.

CROW: So you see how it was so, uh, ironic that they were trapped
in the same body, by some force, somewhere, for some reason.
TOM: That stopped for some reason.

> Luckily, now that she's gone, I'm back to my normal self."
>
> "Not the comic relief anymore, eh?" came a voice from above.

JOEL: Now he can look forward to just being the annoying
supporting castmember.

> The group looked up through the hole in the ceiling and saw X
> peering down at them.

TOM: [ As Maxl ] Heeey! X! I didn't know you were God!

> "Let's get back to the Hidden Palace," he
> said.

CROW: Uh... anyone know how to get there?

>
> Chapter 12 Home Again
>
> "Interesting story," Bookshire said.

TOM: But shtupid.

> As usual, he had stayed
> behind and monitored the others.

JOEL: Actually, he monitored them for like five minutes and then
started watching televised golf.

> Between his age and his weak right
> leg,

CROW: Lay madness.

> one could say battle was not Bookshire Draftwood's strong suit.

TOM: Plus he blubbers like a two-month-old.

>
> "You sound like you would be a very worthy asset," Sally said
> to Maxl.

JOEL: What with your sneezing and your stalking Kabuki.

> "Will you join the Freedom Fighters?"

CROW: Why, are you breaking apart?

>
> "Well," Maxl said, "the thing is, I don't really know how to
> use my powers all that well.

TOM: But you've had them nearly a day, you should be an expert.

> I think it's best that I learn

JOEL: Just who did put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop.
CROW: And did that person also write the book of love?

> some
> more about them before I join you for good, so that I don't end up
> setting any of you on fire or anything."

TOM: Plus, like, Digimon comes on at two and I don't want to miss it.

>
> X nodded. "Understandable. However, I'd like to keep in touch,
> if possible."

CROW: See, if Mobius just had yearbooks they could write all this
stuff down.
TOM: X, X, X, X, and X: 2 Good, 2 Be, 4 Gotten.

>
> "Sure," Maxl said. "Uhhh, how?"

JOEL: Hey, did Sonic ever wake up?
TOM: Nope, he's gone for good.

>
> "Let me see your watch for a bit," Rotor said.

JOEL: Rotor's not a very good stage hypnotist.

>
> "Planning on installing a wrist communicator?" Maxl inquired.

CROW: Nah, just want to know how long until lunch.

>
> "Mmm-hmm," Rotor replied, taking the watch. He grabbed some
> parts

TOM: Does a watch really need a carburetor?

> and tinkered with them for a few minutes, and handed Maxl his
> watch back,

JOEL: Now it's *completely* broken!

> this time with a small microphone and speaker installed.
>
> "Thanks," Maxl said, grinning.

CROW: Now if you could make one that didn't weigh ten pounds
and wasn't two feet long.

> "Also, do you have any clean
> shirts or shorts?"

TOM: Or any good yam recipes? I'm starved.

> He pointed down at his garments, which were
> covered in dust, grime, and all sorts of stuff that I can't describe
> and you wouldn't want to hear about anyway.

JOEL: 'Cause it's Olsen Twin residue.

>
> "Well," Sally said, "I've got a spare vest..."
>
> "Okay," Maxl replied.

TOM: And I've got a neat Popeye style pipe you could use.

>
> "I have ze whole wardrobe," Antoine spoke up.
>

CROW: Ooh, and I've got a spare lobster bib for you.

> "I guess I'll check that out too," Maxl said, trying to be
> polite.

JOEL: You know what you need? Those mittens with drawings that
disapper when it's cold and come back when it's warm!

> He and Antoine walked off, and Sally went to get her spare
> vest.

TOM: [ As Maxl ] So what do you do exactly?
CROW: [ As Antoine ] I make them glad they're not me.

>
> Maxl came out a few minutes later in a uniform like Antoine's.

JOEL: So there's no sense trying to imagine something new.

> "Well, it's an improvement over what I had before," he said. He
> looked down at the scabbard in the belt Antoine had given him.

CROW: Heeey, look at these notches. Antoine, you're a fatty!
JOEL: [ As Antoine ] No, no, I must just be big-boned!

> "Hmmm," he muttered, "I don't have anything to put in here..."

TOM: That's just where you store your hoagies.

>
> "Take a katana," Kabuki said. She handed him the blade she'd
> been using.

CROW: And hey, that sending creepy threatening letters? Forget it!

> "I have others. This should last you until

TOM: Until you discover it doesn't work on soup.

> you gain
> mastery of your powers."
>
> "I'll fly you to the Great Forest in ANT 100," X offered.

JOEL: X can make the Kessel run in under six parsecs.

>
> "Thanks," Maxl said. "Thanks, everybody, for all you've
> done...

TOM: And thanks to all the members of the Academy, without which
none of this would have been necessary.

> especially you, Kabuki."
>
> X and Maxl headed out,

JOEL: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a
pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.


> and flew off to the almost-vacant Great
> Forest.

CROW: Don't you worry, I know the all the hills and mountains
around here.
[ JOEL makes a crashing noise ]
TOM: What about that one?
CROW: Hello, Cliff!

> X landed in what looked like a likely spot, then let his
> passenger go.

JOEL: Let my passengers go.

> The two waved goodbye.

TOM: [ As Maxl ] So should I come over and visit?
JOEL: [ As X ] No, that's all right.
TOM: [ As Maxl ] I could call!
JOEL: [ As X ] You can leave, just leave!
TOM: [ As Maxl ] Should I write?
JOEL: [ As X ] Just buzz off!

>
> Smiling, the badger walked off into the forest, thinking of
> what good friends he'd met.

CROW: And how many of them he'd vaporized by sneezing at them.

>
> Then, Maxl checked his watch.

JOEL: Aw, now somebody stole my whole *body*!

>

TOM: And that's a wrap.
[ JOEL picks up TOM. ALL exit. ]


[ 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. ]


[ SOL DESK. CROW and TOM face one another. A bouquet of flowers is on
the desk. ]

CROW: Is there a lovelier time of year than spring?
TOM: Sheer perfection it is, if only --

[ TOM leans towards the flowers and sniffs ]

TOM: [ With a stuffed nose ] If-- only-- my allergies-- they're--

[ TOM begins to sneeze. ]

JOEL: [ Off stage ] Halt!

[ CROW and TOM freeze. ]

JOEL: [ Walking in, between them ] It's incredible to consider, every
day in the United States and Canada alone over 56 people sneeze.
Many give no thought to the consequences of their actions.

TOM: [ Breaking out of scene ] Wat of the lives ruined by those
thoughtless sneezes? What of the people cast into alternate
universes by an accidental nasal discharge? What of the
innocent bystanders?

CROW: [ Also breaking out ] We of the National Sneeze Council admit
it's impossible for the average individual to refrain entirely
from sneezing. However, with thought, planning, and a sensible
concern for the well-being of others, you can keep your sneezing
to no more than three or even four carefully chosen sneezes in
the average lifetime.

JOEL: Remember, we of the National Sneeze Council do not insist that
you go without sneezing. We simply ask that you sneeze
responsibly.

TOM: For further information --

CROW: Including our free pamphlet --

TOM: Write the National Sneeze Council, Boulder, Colorado, 80302.

JOEL: Sneezing. It's a lifetime committment.

[ MADS sign flashes. ]

JOEL: What do you think, sirs?


[ DEEP 13. DR. FORRESTER and TV's FRANK are standing opposite one
another. They take turns sneezing at one another, each
getting four sneezes in. ]

DR. F: Oh, I forget, Frank. What were we fighting about?

FRANK: You know, I can't remember it either.

[ They look at one another and laugh, several short laughs. ]

DR. F: Frank, Frank, Frank. What would I do without you?

FRANK: Wait a minute! I remember! You were trying to mail me to the
John Fenwick Service Plaza on the New Jersey Turnpike!

DR. F: Oh, no, not at all, Frank. It was just a pun.

FRANK: [ Mollified. ] Oh. I'm sorry. Shall I get the button?

DR. F: Please do.

[ AS TV'S FRANK turns to press the button, DR. FORRESTER gives him
the TV 'judo chop' to the back. DR. FORRESTER winces in
pain and shakes and cradles his hand, while TV's FRANK turns
back around. ]

FRANK: [ As DR. FORRESTER hides his hand quickly ] Did you say
something?

DR. F: No, nothing, nothing at all... carry on.

[ TV's FRANK turns again. DR. FORRESTER starts a second judo chop, but
stops when TV'S FRANK looks back. TV'S FRANK turns one more
time and there's one more fake-out in the judo chop before... ]

|
\ | /
\ | /
--- O ---
/ | \
/ | \
|


Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the creation of Best Brains. Sonic
the Hedgehog is the property of Sega, Archie Comics, and possibly DiC
animation. The various new fanfic characters are the creations of
their respective authors as noted in the story. "Jaded Views" is
written by Thaddeus Boyd and Stephen Tramer and used at the repeated
and sometimes forcible insistence of Stephen Tramer. This MiSTing
fanfic is the creation of Joseph Nebus. Megan Wright learned that
Canadians are not as similar to the Swiss as she thought, and will
become violent if repeatedly provoked. You might enjoy this and
other Mystery Science Theater 3000 fanfics at Web Site Number Nine,
http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k
and other Sonic the Hedgehog/MST3K fanfics are reviewed at An Amazing,
Colossal Episode Guide to Sonic the Hedgehog MiSTed fanfics,
http://www.math.rpi.edu/~nebusj/sth3k.html
but you aren't that interested in it.

> "Ze opera?" Antoine asked, clapping his hands. "Magnifique!"


Mr. Encyclopedia

unread,
Jun 24, 2000, 3:00:00 AM6/24/00
to

Joseph Nebus <neb...@rpi.edu> wrote in message
news:nebusj.9...@theorem.math.rpi.edu...

: > "Ze opera?" Antoine asked, clapping his hands. "Magnifique!"

Not bad! Very good, I'd say!
--
Mr. Encyclopedia
Goblin (Gob-lin) n. 1) A usenet poster similar to a troll, but enjoyed by
most and usually funny. 2) Mr. Encyclopedia
-
"12:15pm The doorbell rang; it was a Jehova's Witness enquiring as to
whether I had found the Lord. I invited him in, and showed him to a nice
comfortable sofa. THE SOFA OF DOOM! HAHAHHAAA! HIS BODY WAS MELTED
INSTANTLY, THE FOOL! BWAHAHAA! Finished off lunch, and went for my afternoon
nap." - A day in the life of an Evil Scientist


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