MiSTed - The Vanished (XF/Twin Peaks) 1/8
Bill Livingston
console. He's in a bathrobe, with a copious amount of lather on his face,
and he's attempting to shave with a straight razor. Steam is coming from
a shower stall, which has a Gypsy-shaped silhouette inside. Tom, wearing a
towel and shower cap, is standing in front of the stall]
SERVO: C'mon, Gypsy, get a move on, willya?
GYPSY: (from inside shower) I'm almost done, Tom.
SERVO: Well, you're using all the hot water!
GYPSY: Bite me!
[Crow emerges from beneath the sink, sans his top headpiece. Mike jumps]
MIKE: *Dyah!* Geez, Crow, give me some warning next time! You almost made
me decapitate myself!
CROW: Sorry, but I *gotta* find my head thingy.
MIKE: [Sighs] Oh, hi, everyone. Mike Nelson here, high up in the Satellite
of Love. Sorry about all this, but we kinda overslept, and we're a
little bit behind.
CROW: Yeah, apparently, someone forgot to set the alarm last night. [looks
at Tom] *Not* that I'm naming any names!
SERVO: Hey, *I* wasn't the one who insisted we stay up until 3:05 just
to watch "Goodbye Charlie" on the Superstation!
CROW: It's a good movie!
SERVO: It's "Switch" without the wit and sophistication. Or Jimmy Smits
CROW: Well, I only started it so I wouldn't have to watch you try to
figure out "Myst" one more time. [Water sound stops]
GYPSY: Mike, throw me a towel please
MIKE: Sure [tosses one over the stall] As you can see, we're not at our
best this early in the day.
CROW: I'll say. Gimme a cup of that sweet hot java to get me going.
GYPSY: [emerges from the stall with the towel wrapped around her head] All
yours, Tom. [Tom dashes in, and the door slams]
MIKE: We should be done in just a few minutes. [Breathes on mirror, then
wrinkles his nose] Ugh! Morning breath!
SERVO: [from inside shower] *What the*... Oh, this is disgusting! [Door
opens] Crow, get this, this *item* out of here!
CROW: MY THINGY! [Runs forward and knocks into Mike]
MIKE: *Yargh!* [grabs neck as blood starts spurting and commercial sign
flashes] We'll be back - after I get some first aid. *Gypsy* where's
the peroxide?
Commercials - 1) SAAAAAAAAILLLLL AWAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!
2) More stand-up shows than you can shake a llama at
3) The Puttermans all get together and pummel the Energizer
Bunny to death
[SOL - everyone is dressed, except Crow, whose headpiece is soaking in a
bowl. Mike has a huge bandage on his neck]
CROW: All I'm saying, Nelson, is that you're the only one around here
with hair, so I think *you* should have cleaned it off instead of just
telling me to soak it in bleach.
MIKE: *Sorry*, Crow, but I was a little busy trying to stem the blood tide.
CROW: Aw, ya baby, it only needed 7 stitches!
SERVO: Good thing Gypsy had her sewing kit handy. [lights start to flash]
MIKE: Oh, great, now Scrubbing Bubbles is calling.
[D13 - Dr. F is sitting behind a desk, with a huge stack of paper in an
"OUT" box, and an even huger stack in the "IN" box. He looks beat]
DR F: Well, I see you slugabeds are finally up and about. Typical. *I'm*
working at 7:00 AM while you just lie around, taking life easy!
[SOL - Mike takes Crow's headpiece out of the bleach. Unfortunately,
it has - yep - turned white]
CROW: Aw, great, I'm going white on top!
SERVO: Maybe you should get some Grecian formula.
MIKE: Maybe just some spray paint or something. (to Dr F) 7:00 AM?
Whaddaya been doing, slopping the hogs?
[D13]
DR F: It just so happens I've been trying to find a new assistant.
Running Deep 13 is pretty hard without someone to blame stu - uh,
ah, that is help keep track of things.
[SOL - Mike and the bots are wearing breathing masks as Mike sprays
gold paint on the headpiece]
CROW: It's matching nicely.
MIKE: Yeah I used that computer at Benjamin Moore
SERVO: Hey, Forrester, who'd you dredge up?
[D13]
DR F: Well, in trying to continue the tradition of "TV's Frank", I placed
an ad in in "Variety" for any and all TV actors who are out of work,
washed-up, orjust generally stuck in a rut. Unfortunately, it
seems every Hollywood hack has applied.
[SOL]
[Mike has a hair dryer aimed at the headpiece]
SERVO: Not too much heat, or you'll crack it.
MIKE: Don't worry, these "K-Mart" store brands don't get that hot.
CROW: (to Dr F) So who've you seen, guy?
[D13]
DR F: This morning I've seen Joyce DeWitt, Harry Hamlin, Jamie Farr,
Parker Stevenson, Joan Rivers, Kent McCord, and Flip Wilson. Right now,
I'm on break, but this afternoon I'm seeing Sonny Shroyer, Greg Evigan,
Bonnie Franklin, Jimmy "J.J." Walker, and the Olson Twins. Even worse,
all day tomorrow I'm seeing everybody who's ever been a cast member of
"Saturday Night Live"!
[SOL]
[Everyone is laughing]
CROW: Oh, that's rich! HAH! Can you see him with "TV's Anthony Michael
Hall"?
SERVO: Wah-hah-hah! Yeah, or "TV's Nora Dunne"?
MIKE: Or "TV's Jay Mohr"? Woo-hooh!!
ALL: *"TV's Joe Piscopo"*!! BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!
[D13]
DR F: Laugh while you can, guinea pigs! You won't be after today's
fanfic. Tell me, does the name "Cooper" mean anything to you?
[SOL]
[All stop laughing]
CROW: Did - did he say "Cooper"?
[D13]
DR F: How about "Mulder"? "Albert"? "Bob"?
[SOL]
CROW: (despairingly) Mulder?
SERVO: (even more despairingly) Albert?
MIKE: (devastated) *Bob*?
[D13]
DR F: That's right, it's the follow-up to that "Twin Peaks"/"X-Files"
crossover, "Into the Woods". It's titled "The Vanished", and it's
guaranteed to be at least as weird as its predecessor. [looks at
watch] Ah, it's time for my next appointment - [sighs] Dennis Leary.
DENNIS LEARY [offscreen]: I think you hear me knockin', science boy, and
I think I'm comin' in, and I think I'm bringin' my big bad attitude and
my big bad career choices with me!!
DR F: It looks like we'll *all* be doing some suffering. Live it up,
Dutch Boy!
[SOL]
CROW: I don't wanna!
SERVO: Don't make us!
[Lights flash]
ALL: TOO LATE!!! IT'S FANFIC SIGN!!!!
CROW: Grab my thingy!
[6...5...4...3...2...o]
CROW: Oh, this is gonna hurt, I just know it!
MIKE: Here, this'll help (attaches headpiece)
CROW: Thanks, I'm whole again
>Path:
SERVO: Garden
>news.msfc.nasa.gov!pendragon!
MIKE: First Knight!
SERVO: Forever Knight!
CROW: The Dark Knight!
> bcm!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!
>agate!uclink.berkeley.edu!madge
>From: ma...@uclink.berkeley.edu (Peggy Mei-Ling Li)
>Newsgroups: alt.tv.twin-peaks
SERVO: Well, if there's such a thing as "alt tv", "Twin Peaks" definitely
qualifies.
>Subject: THE VANISHED (repost)
>Date: 30 Mar 1995 05:46:31 GMT
MIKE: Gmt, Gmzl, Hassenpfeffer Incorporated...
>Organization: University of California, Berkeley
>Lines: 2129
ALL: NO-O-O-O-O-O!!!!!!!!
CROW: (sobbing) It's even longer than the last one!
MIKE: We may have to deploy the final option this time, guys
>Message-ID: <3ldgjn$2...@agate.berkeley.edu>
>NNTP-Posting-Host:
CROW: Conan O'Brian
> uclink.berkeley.edu
>X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
CROW: There's a new version of tin?
MIKE: Yeah, they decided tin was losing popularity to other metals, so
they upgraded
SERVO: You know, they say "Tin '95" is the same as "Aluminum '89"
>Status: N
>
>
>Note: This story is an X-Files/Twin Peaks crossover, a
>continuation of the story OUT OF THE WOODS.
SERVO: Sure, rub it in!
> As always,
>comments and suggestions are welcome. I may be reached at
>ma...@uclink.berkeley.edu
>Enjoy!
><All usual disclaimers here>
MIKE: Not to be taken internally.
SERVO: Do not operate near water
CROW: If doctor persists, see your condition
>
>THE VANISHED - by peggy li Nov. 4-10 1994
CROW: Starring Keifer Sutherland, Jeff Bridges, and Sandra Bullock
SERVO: Hey, that means Sandra can be Baconized in one step
MIKE: Oh, let's not start that little game again!
> THERE WERE DONUTS.
SERVO: AND THE DONUTS ROAMED THE EARTH IN THOSE DAYS, AND WERE MIGHTY!!
> Three dozen of them, all
>arranged neatly on a tray at one end of the long conference table.
>Sugary glazed, crumbly old-fashioned, dark rich chocolate,
>powdered donuts, white as an angels' wing.
CROW: So the point here is that we got donuts?
MIKE: Yeah, pretty much, I'd say.
SERVO: Yep, those are donuts all right.
CROW: Really, really donuts.
> Dana Scully sat down across from this display, crinkling her
>nose at the sticky sweet aroma.
SERVO: Ugh, someone's wearing CK-One!
> "Everyone, take a seat."
CROW: Oh boy! Free chairs!
> Special Agent Dale Cooper sat
>near Scully at the head of the table. Mulder sat beside her and
>Albert and Truman took seats opposite them.
MIKE: No, no, we've got one too many for bridge now.
SERVO: Maybe they can play poker
> As if he were
>presiding over a State dinner, Cooper sat only after everyone else
>had taken their seats. They fidgeted quietly as Cooper folded his
>hands on the table.
CROW: That's what he gets for drawing to an inside straight
> "Harry?"
MIKE: Yes, aren't we all?
> Cooper gestured to the stack of cups that sat on a
>sidetable.
> "Oh! Sure Coop." Truman moved
SERVO: And left no forwarding address.
> to give everyone a cup
>of fresh coffee from the thermos Albert had provided. Scully tried
>hard to sit still and let her eyes wander around the room.
CROW: We had this same problem with meandering organs last time.
MIKE: I thought you weren't going to -
CROW: I'm not. It's just interesting, that's all.
> Rustic,
>sparse, it still had a woodsy, piney aroma distinct even through the
>odors of coffee and donuts.
MIKE: Ah, an olfactory wonderland
> Scully sipped at her cup and Truman
>returned to his seat. She glanced at Mulder, whose face had fallen
>into an impassive mask.
SERVO: I've asked you kids not to run when I have a face in the oven!
CROW: Fox Mulder for Eagles Snacks - Feed Your Face
> Scully frowned and reached over to nudge
>him when Cooper began to speak.
CROW: (as Scully) Honestly, you always fall asleep in these things.
> "I've been informed it's been seven days since my
>disappearance from Watmok Mercy hospital. And I know you all
>are wondering what happened to me over that week."
ALL: [together] Oh well - if you don't want to - wouldn't want to
*force* you - just rest & take it - peace and quiet - stuff it!
> Cooper
>stared carefully at his coffee
MIKE: Hey, there's a bug in here!
CROW: Don't worry sir, it won't drink much.
> before taking a small sip and
>continuing. "What transpired will certainly sound like a fantastic
>tale but I assure you it did occur somewhere in our time and space."
CROW: Berlin, 1962
SERVO: The Delta Quadrant, StarDate 48337.4
MIKE: Colonel Mustard in the Kitchen with a Lead Pipe
> Everyone waited expectantly, not saying a word. Scully
>noted that even Albert paid rapt attention.
MIKE: Well, I'm the rappin' agent, and I'm here to say,
Twin Peaks is the place we're gonna stay
CROW & SERVO: Word!
> "I have spent the last seven days in the Waiting Room.
SERVO: With only a 1979 copy of "Ladies Home Journal" and
half a "Reader's Digest"
>There, I confronted...Bob.
ALL: [ominously] DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUN
> And sent him back to where he came
>from."
MIKE: Thank God he was still under warranty
> Scully shivered, involuntarily, and Cooper noticed her
>movement. He leaned towards her and said with a small smile of
>gratitude,
CROW: Shake it, mama, shake it!
MIKE: Now, why do you always do that?!? Why do you always take
these innocuous little remarks and make them so... so...
CROW: Hey, it's my job, Pink Boy
> "I couldn't have done it without your help, Dana." He
>leaned back in his chair and addressed the table again.
SERVO: That's gonna take a lot of postage.
> "Without
>everyone's help."
> Scully spoke up, along with everyone else.
> "Dale..."
> "Coop..."
> "You are NUTS mister..."
ALL: Rhubarb cantaloupe watermelon rhubarb cantaloupe bob bob rhubob
> "DALE," Dana said again, louder, silencing the men.
CROW: Well, that's just typical!
MIKE: Oh, good, Crow, get the women mad at us!
CROW: Geez, you're pretty touchy today yourself, Nelson.
MIKE: Yeah, well, having my aorta opened sorta does that to me!
>"I don't understand. Where did you go? Where did you send Bob?
>How could any of us have helped you...?"
SERVO: [soap opera announcer] Who did Heather tell about her secret
boyfriend? What is the reason for Brick's sudden change of heart?
> Cooper sighed, "Dana, you were *there*. Let me try and
>explain this to you all in a manner that is clear and direct.
CROW: I bet he can't!
> Bob was
>in the waiting room. He had drawn us all there through our fears.
MIKE: Gingivitis?
>It was you, Mulder, finding Dana, that set the wheels in motion for
>Bob's demise."
MIKE & SERVO: (singing) Wheel's on fire, burnin' down the ro-o-o-o-oad...
> Mulder, who had been silent this whole time, murmured,
>"Finding the *real* Dana."
SERVO: (announcer) Find the real Dana, and win a prize package worth
$45,000!
> "Yes," Cooper nodded, "The love you two share opened a
>door."
CROW: I hope that's not a Michael Bolton song cue.
> Scully tensed in her seat and held out her hands.
SERVO: (as Scully) Which one has the M&M's?
> She felt a
>blush creeping to her cheeks, "Hold on a minute here...Mulder and
>I? Love?"
CROW: Exciting and new?
MIKE: [singing] Come abo-o-oard, we're expecting you! The LOVE Boat -
CROW: Mike -
MIKE: Crow -
> Dana wanted to deck Mulder for the smug smile that
>was creeping onto his face.
SERVO: Maybe it *is* love!
> Surprisingly, it was Albert who spoke up next. "Everyone's
>love, Dana. All the goodness and hope that goes along with it. By
>binding together, Bob was overwhelmed and thrown back where he
>belongs."
MIKE: Special Agent Leo Buscaglia, ladies and gentlemen
SERVO: I thought this guy was the grouch of the bunch
MIKE: Under that veneer of irritating rudeness, Albert's just a big fluffy
ball of unbearable new age mush!
> "Exactly, Albert!" Cooper thumped his fist on the table and
>grinned at Rosenfield.
CROW: I wet 'em!
> "That simple, Coop?" Truman interrupted. "I have a
>feeling he isn't going to take this lying down."
MIKE: He should just sit up, and try clear liquids
> Cooper sighed again and looked tired, extremely tired.
>"Harry, I faced things in that room that I hope never to meet ever
>again.
CROW: F. Lee Bailey's accountant?
MIKE: L. Ron Hubbard personally explaining "Dianetics"?
SERVO: Bobcat Goldthwait?
> Let me just say that the big dice were rolled...and I fell out
>of the mix."
SERVO: C'mon, baby, Cooper needs a new pair of shoes!
> "You fell into Twin Peaks."
> Cooper lapsed into silence once again and Scully wondered
>if that was all he would tell them.
CROW: Unfortunately, there was more
> She was still confused and
>uncertain what to make of Cooper's experience, but the fact was
>that he was there and he seemed certain that Bob was stopped; that
>was good enough for her.
MIKE: Actual proof is so bourgeois
> Suddenly, there was a knock at the
>door.
> "Come in," said Truman.
> The door opened, revealing a tall man dressed in a deputy's
>uniform.
SERVO: [campy] I told you never to come see me at work, Phillip!
> His strong, handsome features bore his heritage proudly;
>Scully surmised that this was
CROW: Commander Chakotay?
MIKE: Wrong fanfic
> Deputy Hawk.
> "Someone here to see you," he said, then stepped aside as a
>small middle-aged woman with red-rimmed glasses edged into the
>room.
CROW: Boy, Sally Jesse hasn't aged well at all
> Scully noticed something clutched in the woman's arms and
>thought at first that it was a child, but once the woman stepped into
>the light, she noticed with surprise that it was a log.
MIKE: [dreamily] It's my special log.
> "Margaret," Cooper said warmly, "how nice to see you."
> The Log Lady moved crab-like to Cooper's side
SERVO: [singing] Undah tha sea! Undah tha sea-ea!
> and he
>stood, placing an arm on her shoulder. "What can I do for you?"
CROW: Can I get you a match? Some lighter fluid? Maybe a whittling knife?
> "You *are* back," she said, glancing over at Scully and
>Mulder, obviously nervous around unfamiliar faces, "I knew
>because my log..." she fell silent and stroked the piece of tree with
>her fingertips. Cooper looked concerned.
SERVO: And well he should
MIKE: "Lady Pummels FBI Agent to Death - Claims Log Told Her To!"
> "How is your husband today?" he asked.
CROW: Yew should know.
SERVO: Maybe she's pining for him.
CROW: Or maybe he's just a son of a birch.
MIKE: Wood you two stop?
SERVO: Oak kay.
> Scully felt her
>jaw drop and Mulder kicked her under the table.
CROW: Hey, they've broken out into a soccer game!
> She turned to
>glare at him and noticed that he seemed just as befuddled as she.
> "Ever since your return...my husband has been silent. No
>more messages. I thought- you should know."
SERVO: Oh, and you left your socks in her tree.
> The Log Lady
>moved to leave the room, but not without a backward, puzzled
>glance at Scully and Mulder.
MIKE: I bet they get a lot of that.
> Scully felt distinctly uncomfortable in
>her gaze.
> "Thank you, Margaret," Cooper called after her.
CROW: Thanks for making our day a little more surreal!
> He turned
>back towards the table, and noticed the shell-shocked looks from
>Mulder and Scully.
SERVO: Full Metal Mulder!
> "What?" Mulder asked, as Albert began to laugh.
> "Welcome to Twin Peaks," he growled, moving out of his
>chair. "I guess it's only fitting we end tonight on that lovely note."
MIKE: B Natural?
CROW & SERVO: AHHHH!!
CROW: Don't *do* that!
> Sheriff Truman stood also and addressed Mulder and
>Scully. "I've got two rooms waiting for you in our finest hotel."
MIKE: [as Tom Bodett] They'll leave a light on for ya'
> "Wonderful." Scully said, smiling doubtfully. Mulder put
>his hand to her back
CROW: And she immediately kidney punched him and told him to
keep his filthy paws to himself.
> and they all filed out of the room, Scully
>wondering if anyone else still felt as lost as she did.
ALL: DUH!
>
>[Great Northern Hotel]
> Scully slung the duffel higher up on her shoulder as she
>unlocked the door to her room. Mulder was opening the door next
>to hers and he paused before going in.
MIKE: For God's sake, *Don't go in the room!!*
> "Scully, Cooper and I are going to have a bite to eat
>downstairs later. Would you like to join us?"
SERVO: Why, are you coming apart?
CROW: Yes!
> "Yeah, ok."
> "Some place, isn't it?"
> Scully looked at the rich wood of the room and the plush,
>inviting bed, and had to
CROW: Take a cold shower.
> agree. "Beats the usual Motel 6." Mulder
>laughed and moved to enter his room, but Scully grabbed his arm.
MIKE: I hope she used Gentle Pressure (tm)
> "Mulder."
> "Scully, what?"
> "I think we better talk later. Alone."
> "I know. We will. After we talk to Cooper."
SERVO: Suddenly it's Hemingway.
MIKE: To die. In the rain.
> "Mulder," Scully hissed under her breath, "that woman was
>talking to *a log*!"
MIKE: As long as it wasn't talking back....
> "Hey, you noticed that too?" Mulder replied with mock
>surprise. "We'll talk later."
> Scully pursed her lips and shut the door behind her,
>dropping her bag and plunging face-first into the bed.
MIKE: 8.9
SERVO: 9.2
CROW: 8.3
MIKE: That's a score of 8.8 for Scully. Next diver, please.
> She had a
>funny feeling that things were only going to get stranger the longer
>she and Mulder stayed in Twin Peaks. She hoped they wouldn't
>stay for long.
CROW: And we share that hope
> Technically, their case was complete,
SERVO: Now they're fully qualified Home Interiors displayers
> she thought as she
>slipped out of her jacket and shoes. Stepping into the bathroom,
>Scully jumped at some movement out of the corner of her eye.
MIKE: Oh, yuck, she has eye-mites!
ALL: EE-E-E-EWW!!
> "Just the mirror," she said to herself, staring at her
>reflection. She took a good long look at herself in the mirror, some
>dark memory tugging at the corner of her mind,
SERVO: [as Scully] *Why* did I eat all those donuts? They just go
straight to my hips!!
> then quickly
>undressed and stepped into the shower, drowning out her thoughts
>with the splattering of hot water.
CROW: Ah, a nice hot shower erases all those nasty old thoughts!
>
> Mulder felt all shiny and well-scrubbed as he stepped into
>the lounge of the Great Northern.
SERVO: [singing] Shiny Happy Mulders in the lounge...
MIKE: [counterpoint] Shiny Happy Mulders everywhere...
> His hair was still wet from the
>shower and he had changed into jeans and a flannel shirt.
CROW: The FBI's got a grunge division?
SERVO: Only at the Seattle office
> A few
>eyes turned to him from the dance floor, a decrepit-looking band
>doing their best to look alive at this late hour.
MIKE: Hey, the Stones are in town!
> Cringing at the
>straining melodies,
CROW: Yeah, it's Mick and Keef all right
> he spied Cooper sitting at the bar, still in his
>suit, his attention focused on something in his hand.
MIKE: [Cooper] I just never get tired of reading "Dune" for some
reason. That Paul Aretreides really kicks!
> Mulder moved to sit next to Cooper and saw that he was
>staring at a photograph. It was a grainy photo of a girl holding
>books in her arms and smiling.
SERVO: It's Patrick Swayze from that "To Wong Foo" movie
MIKE: Oh, Leguizamo was much cuter. [bots look at Mike] What?!?
> "Audrey Horne," Cooper said quietly when Mulder sat on
>the stool next to him.
CROW: Not back in the real world a day, and he's already downloading
from alt.binaries.celebrities
> "She's beautiful," Mulder replied carefully. He could hear
>the regret and remorse in Cooper's voice.
> "Her father used to own this hotel. He's moved to Tibet
SERVO: Her father is Richard Gere?
>and Audrey....is dead."
> "Cooper, I'm sorry. I can see she meant a lot to you."
> Cooper turned to Mulder, his eyes misty,
MIKE: [singing, as Johnny Mathis] I get - MiSTie!
> "We were friends,
>good friends."
MIKE: Guess no one told him life was gonna be this way
CROW: His job's a joke, he's broke
SERVO: His love life's DOA
CROW: Literally
> Cooper shook his head, trying bravely to smile
>through his grief, "She was such a vital young woman, Mulder. It's
>a damned shame."
CROW: It's a shame she was so vital?
> "What happened?"
> "There was some sort of explosion at the bank downtown.
>Twin Peaks lost a lot of good people there that day."
MIKE: I'm telling you, they were right there a minute ago!
SERVO: Honestly, if you're not losing the car keys, it's a bank full of
good people!
> Something dawned on Mulder,
SERVO: A little club soda'll get that right out.
> "You didn't find out about
>this until today?"
> Cooper nodded his head and gripped his shot glass.
> "Coop...I'm sorry." Mulder placed a hand on Cooper's
>shoulder and Cooper raised his glass.
> "To those...who are out there."
MIKE: This whole *town* is out there!
> Mulder found a glass and
>sipped, nodding somberly. Cooper then looked over Mulder's
>shoulder and added, "And to the living."
SERVO: Who will envy the dead!
> Mulder turned to see Dana walk down the steps and make
>her way towards them. He found himself smiling broadly and
>noticed Cooper doing the same.
> "Sorry I'm late, guys," Dana said as she reached them,
CROW: Have you checked EPT?
>sitting down on a stool between them. She noticed the two of them
>grinning like fools.
> "What?"
ALL: We're fools!
> Mulder looked down at Dana, dressed in a flowing blouse
>and leggings and couldn't stop smiling.
SERVO: [as the Tick] Arthur, is this a warm moment, or should we
be disturbed?
> "Nothing. Glad you could
>make it, Scully."
> "How much have you had to drink?" she asked warily.
CROW: [blearily] I'm not as think as you drunk I am!
> "Dana, you are a sight. What'll you have?"
> "Uh, thanks Cooper. Nothing for me." In unison, both men
>put down their glasses.
CROW: And were immediately blind as bats
> "How are you two liking Twin Peaks?"
> "Oh...the scenery's very nice." Scully replied, neutrally.
> "Something's bothering you?"
MIKE: Yeah, how do they cram all that Graham?
> "I don't think Scully's ever seen a pet log before." Mulder
>joked.
SERVO: Well, not a *housebroken* one, no.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
bi...@Traveller.COM http://www.Traveller.COM/~bill
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