MSTed: A NEW, EASY WAY TO SEE AURAS!
Eric Simon
[SOL - Crow and Servo are behind the table, looking at pewter figurines.]
TOM: Oh yeah? Well my dragon oil lamp beats your wizard with the crystal
wand any day!
CROW: Oh yeah? Well you're just jealous cause your crummy old dwarf's
crystal isn't as big as my wizard's crystal.
TOM: What do you mean? My dwarf's crystal is basketball-sized compared to
your wizard's puny wand!
MIKE: [entering, hands behind his back] Hi boys, whatcha doin?
TOM: Oh, just showing off our cool pewter fantasy figurines.
CROW: Yeah, collect 'em, hoard 'em, use them as status symbols.
MIKE: Hey, sounds neat. And you know, actually I overheard you guys talking
about your collections here, and I thought you might like to see what I
used to collect as a kid.
TOM: Oh, sure, we'd love to see what little Mikey Nelson was interested in.
CROW: Yeah! [snicker]
MIKE: Well here it is. [brings hands out in front of him] When I got shot
into space, I managed to save my favorite geode.
TOM: A geode? You mean those lame rocks with the crystal center?
MIKE: What do you mean lame? I happen to think they're pretty neat.
CROW: Oh come on, Mike. What's so cool about a rock?
MIKE: Well, I just think they're kind of amazing, is all. I mean, they
were just created naturally in the earth's crust.
TOM: [sarcastic] Oh, *that* makes it special! Let *me* get a rock from the
earth's crust! It's so unique!
[light flashes]
MIKE: All right, fine. If you don't like my geode, I'll just take it back.
CROW: Uh, Mike...flint and granite are calling.
MIKE: Oh. [pushes button]
[Deep 13 - Close up on Dr. F]
DR F.: So, Shirley McClane, getting into crystals, are we? Well, then you
should enjoy this week's experiment. But first, why don't you go
ahead with the invention exchange?
[SOL - Tom and Mike are at the table. Crow's legs are dangling at the top
of the screen.]
MIKE: Well, Tom and Crow and I are particularly proud of our invention.
You see, we've invented the first working anti-gravity belt, which
my colleague Crow T. Robot is currently demonstrating.
CROW: [above] Hey, Mike...is there any way I could float a little lower?
MIKE: [looks up] Try the dial on the left, Crow.
CROW: Okay. [his legs suddenly disappear upward] Whooaaah!
[a crash is heard and debris falls from the ceiling]
MIKE: Admittedly, there are still a few kinks to work out. What do you
think, sirs?
[Deep 13 - Close up on Dr F.]
DR F.: I think you should keep your feet on the ground, fly-bot. Well,
Mike, our invention is closely related to this week's experiment.
I call it the "Aura-becue."
[He steps back to reveal a circular metal barbecue which is attached by
hoses to various places on Frank's body. Frank is wearing a chef's hat
and an apron that says "Reincarnated to Barbecue." His eyes are rolled up
as if he is about to pass out.]
DR F.: Why waste precious fossil fuels charring your fatty steaks when you
can use the life force inside each and every one of us? Simply hook
into the Aura-becue, and let your very own aura heat your meat. It's
easy, and it's ecologically sound, too.
[SOL - Crow has rejoined Tom and Mike]
MIKE: But is it safe? Frank doesn't look very well.
[Deep 13]
DR F.: Of course it's safe! [he touches a steak] Frank! These aren't
even warm yet. Have you been putting out any aura at all?
[Frank falls over backwards]
DR F.: Oh great. Now I've got to bring Frankie boy back to life. In the
meantime, Sir Loin of Beef, why don't you get on with the experiment?
It's a juicy meat substitute I found on sci.skeptic, and even they
didn't dignify it with a response. Swallow hard, Chef Boyardee.
[presses the button]
[SOL - lights flashing, Mike is examining what appears to be the anti-grav
belt.]
MIKE: Well, maybe we could install weights of some sort...
TOM: WE'VE GOT POST SIGN!
[pandemonium, and then doors]
6...5...4...3...2...o
Article 65461 of sci.skeptic:
Path: news.acns.nwu.edu!math.ohio-state.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!agate!
msuinfo!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!news.uwa.edu.au!DIALix!not-for-mail
From: r...@perth.DIALix.oz.au (Robert Bruce)
Newsgroups: sci.skeptic
CROW: What a sensible name for a newsgroup.
TOM: Oh, I don't know...
Subject: A NEW, EASY WAY TO SEE AURAS (energy fields)
TOM: Not to be confused with auras (fresh fruit).
Date: 28 Apr 1994 12:34:41 +0800
Organization: DIALix Services, Perth, Western Australia
Lines: 355
MIKE: Guys, I'm sensing deep pain right now.
Sender: r...@perth.DIALix.oz.au
Message-ID: <2pned1$h7f$1...@perth.dialix.oz.au>
NNTP-Posting-Host: perth.dialix.oz.au
Summary: NEW EASY WAY TO SEE AURAS.
CROW: I think we got that already.
Keywords: AURAS, NEW WAY.
TOM: Oh no! Not _Warrior of the Lost World_!
CROW: Well, at least we'll get to see Megaweapon.
X-Newsreader: NN version 6.5.0 #5 (NOV)
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CLAIRVOYANT TO SEE AURAS! '
by
TOM: Oh, goodbye! Leaving so soon?
MIKE: No he means the person who wrote it.
TOM: Can't I dream?
Robert Bruce
CROW: Lenny Bruce's illegitimate alien child.
MIKE: Hey, watch it. You're starting to sound like a sci.skeptic regular.
(C) Copyright 7-April-1994 all rights reserved.
CROW: And the lefts are pretty reserved about it too.
This article is in response to the many questions I have received concerning
Auras. What they are, their significance, and how to see them.
TOM: Is that a question? What does that fragment mean?
MIKE: All right guys, I call no grammar flames.
TOM: Awwww.
I have
included a new training method that is so easy, anyone can learn to see auras
in a very short time.
MIKE: If you can't put in 30 minutes a day, you don't deserve a hot aura!
My new training method is based on a discovery I made several years ago. This
is - all colours have a uniquely coloured aura of their own - that are of a
totally different colour.
CROW: Whoah, hey, what? Anyone follow that?
These auras are denser and far easier to see than
any other type of aura. Using this, I have designed a simple, graduated
training method that really works. It has most people seeing auras the first
time they try it!
MIKE: Try it! Join us!
I have been able to see auras ( energy fields )
TOM: Oh, so *now* he's defining aura. A little late, don't you think?
for many years. I was not
born with this ability but taught myself the old fashioned way.
CROW: Sticking your head in a bucket of piranha fish?
It took me several
years! I developed this new method to help beginners overcome the problems
everyone encounters.
WHAT IS AN AURA? '
TOM: Is this Jeopardy all of the sudden? Uh, I'll take moronic posts for
300, Alex.
The human aura is both an energy field
ALL: WE KNOW!!
and a reflection of the subtle life
energies within the body. These energies make us what we are and in turn, are
affected by our surroundings and life style. The aura reflects our health,
character, mental activity and emotional state.
MIKE: Robert Bruce's aura reflects no mental activity whatsoever.
It also shows disease - often
long before the onset of symptoms.
Close to the skin is the etheric aura.
TOM: Yeeesss! Oh ho, yes!
It is a pale, narrow band
that outlines the body and is usually no more than half an inch wide.
It looks like milky smoke clinging to the body.
MIKE: [grabbing the bots' mouths] Leave it alone, guys.
The main aura is banded around the body - strata like.
TOM: I'm sorry, but that's just not very descriptive.
Imagine a person with
thick, coloured hoops of light dropped over them and you get the idea. These
colours emanate from the psychic centres (or chakras).
CROW: Chakra, when the walls fell.
MIKE: You said it my friend.
Basic energy is drawn up from the planet through the feet and
fed into the chakras, much like a plant does with water.
TOM: Or like a congressman does with scotch.
Each chakra is a
transformer that generates energy of a different type and colour. The
strength, activity and colour tone of each chakra, depends on the person's
character, personality, emotional state and life style. Together they
generate the dominant hue of the aura.
TOM: I'm sensing just a little redundancy here.
MIKE: Tom, I thought I said no grammar riffs.
TOM: Whaddya mean? That was about the content!
The aura is photo-sensitive and expands to many times its normal size in
sunlight.
CROW: Wow, sort of a shrinky-dink in reverse.
MIKE: I wish this post were a shrinky-dink.
The aura chakra system can be likened to a tree. Energy/nutrient is
drawn up through the feet/roots and fed through the body/trunk to the
chakras/leaves.
MIKE: Incomprehensibility/idiocy comes from Robert/Bruce on sci/skeptic.
TOM: Oh *now* who's making grammar comments?
MIKE: That was composition.
TOM: Sure Mike, whatever.
The aura also absorbs energy from other energy sources around
us, like sunlight and ozone, plants and other people.
CROW: The aura absorbs other people?
TOM: Oh wait, since when is ozone an energy source?
Many authors have suggested people can be classified by the colour of their
aura.
MIKE: Plato said it first.
For example, blue means a highly spiritual person, trustworthy, honest,
etc... Orange means an emotional type of person etc... I have found this to
be very misleading. The aura is such a complex and changeable engine, it
simply cannot be judged by its basic hue alone.
TOM: [biker voice] My aura's a V-8 engine!
CROW: Oh yeah? Well my aura's a super-charged turbo engine with exhaust
pipes and flames shootin' out of it!
MIKE: I coulda had a V-8 engine.
TOM & CROW: Huh?
The aura is sensitive to colour. It reacts to the colours of clothing and
that
TOM: [correcting] "Those"
MIKE: Tom...
TOM: Look, I'm sorry, but he's mixed plurals with singular pronouns a few too
many times.
of our surroundings, ie. wall colours. This explains why people have strong
preferences in colour.
CROW: Oh does it?
For example: If you like Pink or Red, it means you have
an active heart centre that is giving off lots of Green. Red and Pink give
off different types of green that are in harmony with that aura.
MIKE: I'm sorry, red and green are not in harmony.
Colours are widely used in hospitals and institutions to calm agitated people
and put them at ease.
CROW: So why do they use the same colors in schools and jails?
Pink is the most calming colour for this.
TOM: Oh sure, I've been to lots of pink insane asylums.
It is the
emotional colour of love and happiness. Watch a mother's aura when she first
looks into the eyes of her new baby, and falls head over heels
MIKE: ...on the baby.
in love. At
that special, joyous moment when they bond for life, you will see this most
lovely of auras, in all it's glory.
CROW: [deep voice] Look at me! Praise me! I'm the aura! I'm the aura!
There is a whole science devoted to the use of colours. This is called Colour
Healing or Colour Therapy.
TOM: ...and is Always Capitalized.
MIKE: Shouldn't that be "capitalised?"
TOM: Look Mike, I haven't said a word about spelling, but if you want to
bring it up, go right ahead. You're the one who called no grammar
comments.
It is impossible to get a clear view of the aura through clothing.
CROW: Ohhh, *now* we see what Robert Bruce's "method" entails.
The auric
colours of the clothes react with the persons aura, causing interference that
blocks and changes the aura. For example: A Blue shirt will flood the
natural aura with Yellow.
TOM: Wait a minute, is he using pigment color theory or light color theory?
MIKE: Well, it's just sort of a mish-mash of whatever seems right to him at
the time.
Even neutral coloured clothes will dim the aura making it
difficult to see.
Disease:
ALL: Huh?
CROW: Whoah, abrupt topic change.
This shows up in the aura in many different ways, sometimes days or
weeks before any physical symptoms. An ear infection, for example, will show
up as a shadow over the ear before any symptoms appear. This shadow will
gradually change into a murky, khaki green.
MIKE: Is khaki really a color?
TOM: Actually it's been a color for quite some time. If you want newer
colors like cinnamon or melon, check out L.L. Bean or J Crew.
As the infection takes hold, it
will become shot through with red and orange flecks.
CROW: I'll have a shot of red and orange flecks, straight up.
Khaki and murky green with red and orange flecks, is common to infection.
Death:
CROW: What is this, the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
TOM: We'll get to see the aura of Hugh Beaumont next.
MIKE: What does that mean?
TOM: Well cause he's...oh never mind, Mike.
When a person is dying the aura changes dramatically. I have observed
the auras of people with terminal cancer during the few weeks prior to death.
TOM: You're sick, buddy!
MIKE: Hi, my name's Robert Bruce. I see that you're almost dead. Can I
watch your aura?
First the aura fades and weakens, and then, a week or so before death it
starts
to expand, changing into a beautiful pale Sky-blue aura shot through with
Silver sparks.
CROW: So why does this guy capitalize some colors but not others.
MIKE: I think he capitalizes the colors he likes so they can feel special.
WHY MOST PEOPLE FAIL TO SEE THE AURA '
The reason most people fail to see the aura is simply the way they go about
it. The human aura is not a good training ground for the beginner.
MIKE: Sounds like Robert is an advocate of federally-funded animal testing.
TOM: I'm calling PETA!
This is what
usually happens: Your volunteer sits and waits, for a long time, while you
strain for a glimpse of their aura.
MIKE: Hey, now he's doing creative visualization.
You are trying to relax and concentrate
and master a tricky visual technique, all at the same time.
CROW: [dreamy] Okay, I can see that.
You subconsciously worry about what they are thinking of you.
TOM: You should be worried about we think of you, Robert.
Are they getting bored or impatient?
ALL: YES!!!
Do they think you foolish, a failure, or both?
CROW: Let's see - yes, yes, and yes.
The tension caused by this pressure negates the subtle energy and calm mental
state needed to see the aura.
MIKE: I guess we won't be able to see any auras during this post.
Trying to get results, under this kind of pressure, as a beginner, is
next to impossible.
TOM: Whoops, time to go, guys.
MIKE: [carrying Tom out] I think getting results under the pressure of this
post is next to impossible.
o...2...3...4...5...6
[SOL - lights are low and moody. Crow is on a cushion floating in mid-air
and Tom is wearing a swami hat.]
TOM: [chanting] Unga dunga. Unga dunga.
CROW: [chanting] Aura bore-a. Aura bore-a.
TOM: [haunting voice] I am trying to reach the Great One through the medium
Crooooow Teeee Rooobot. Are you there, Great One?
CROW: [same] Yeeees, I aaaaamm.
TOM: I would like to ask you some questions.
CROW: Gooo ahead.
MIKE: [offstage] Why is it so dark in here?
[lights suddenly turn on, and Crow comes crashing to the ground. Mike
enters]
TOM: Oh, Mike! You spoiled everything!
MIKE: What were you doing?
TOM: Crow was acting as a medium, and I was just about to ask questions of
the Great One.
MIKE: Tommy Lasorda?
TOM: No, no. He's not even dead.
MIKE: Jack Benny?
TOM: No...
MIKE: Benny Hill, then?
TOM: Mike, you're thinking on completely the wrong lines.
MIKE: Esther Williams?
TOM: Look, just never mind.
[Crow leans up blearily from behind the table.]
CROW: Wha happah?
MIKE: Gene Roddenberry?
TOM: D'oh!
[lights flash.]
MIKE: Well who, then?
TOM: WE'VE GOT POST SIGN!!!
6...5...4...3...2...o
MIKE: It wasn't Gene Roddenberry?
TOM: No, it was Eugene Ionesco, the French absurdist playwright.
MIKE: Ohhh...
CROW: I thought we were contacting Abe Lincoln.
Email letters from a young man.
TOM: Sentences without verbs.
MIKE: Tom...
TOM: Oh come on! How could I resist that one?
It shows a common problem encountered when trying to see the aura:
>>David:> "I was sitting in Economics class
CROW: That's a pretty common problem, all right.
when I
started to see a faint white glow (not really though,
I can't really describe it), it was surrounding the
sides of his head.
TOM: Wow! His Econ professor's an angel!
CROW: Cool!
And I could also see a similar one
coming from one of the students sitting in front of
him, except the student's had a sort of bluish tinge to
it. Then I started to see the same thing coming from
some of the computer monitors that sit on the desk.
CROW: What?
TOM: Oh, that's a little insulting.
MIKE: To the computer monitors?
At first, I was hoping that I could see auras but then
when I saw it on the monitors, I had my doubts."
MIKE: I was almost a Robert Bruce follower, but I was saved at the last
minute.
MY ANSWER:>> Every living, and non living thing has an aura, including
monitors. The reason you saw them when you did is
{let me guess}
TOM: [sarcastic] Oh no, let *me* guess.
You were very relaxed, maybe day dreaming a little.
Your eyes were tired, relaxed, and these are the PERFECT conditions
for seeing the aura.
CROW: It's faaabulous!
>>DAVID:> "That's exactly how I was. The discussion
sort of went off topic and wasn't all that interesting
to me."
TOM: Sort of like this post.
>>DAVID:> "Anyway, I was wondering if you can tell me if
I actually did see their aura. I tried staring at
myself in the mirror to see my aura but it didn't
work
MIKE: Try concentrating on the aura.
TOM: Ewwww, mike!
and I haven't been able to see their auras since
that day a week or two ago. As for some of my
questions. I was wondering what colours non-living
objects give off(is it white?), how come it was
brighter on their heads?"
CROW: Wait, what non-living objects have heads?
MIKE: Well, you guys do.
TOM: [on the verge of tears] What? You mean we're not alive?!
MIKE: Now Tom, that's not what I meant.
MY ANSWER:>> You did see the aura! The colours given off by non living
objects vary with the colour of the object. The
human aura is brighter around the head area for two
reasons:
CROW: 1. Because I said so.
1. Clothing blocks the aura. 2. The head area is usually
bare and is where the YELLOW of intellect is
most active.
MIKE: Robert's YELLOW of intellect is nonexistent.
TOM: Didn't you already do that one?
MIKE: Well, it was close.
This yellow varies in intensity
according to mental activity, maybe the student you
observed was really on the ball that day.
CROW: [sportscaster voice] And it looks like the Kansas City Auras are really
on the ball today. I think they could come away with the championship.
TOM: [same] And what's this? It looks like they've dragged a spectator onto
the field and they're beating the stuffing out of him! It looks like
Robert Bruce! I bet he's wishing he never showed his annoying face on
the net!
HOW TO SEE THE AURA '
MIKE: You know, right about now I'd like to see the egress.
CROW: [Jack Palance] Believe it (gasp) or not!
To see the aura you have to be able to relax and concentrate, at the same
time. There is a trick to focusing the eyes in a special way that activates
the forehead chakra (or The Third Eye.)
MIKE: That sounds like a cue for a fanfic cross between TNG and The Twilight
Zone.
TOM: Oooo, don't give anybody any ideas!
1. You need soft light to train in, not dim,
TOM: ...like me.
but good soft light. No harsh
light or a reflection of it must be shining in your eyes! Get a book
ALL: PLEASE!
and cover
TOM: ...your face in shame for having anything to do with this post.
it in blue or red crepe paper. Stand the book upright on a table several feet
from you. Make sure you have a neutral background, light tan, soft grey, off
white or even a black board is good. If the wall colour is wrong, hang a
sheet of neutral coloured paper or cloth on it.
MIKE: Boy, he's making sure you don't have to think to do this.
CROW: Even an idiot can see auras with the Robert Bruce method.
TOM: *Only* an idiot can see auras with the Robert Bruce method.
Note:
TOM: [singing] Laaa!
The auras of the colours Blue and Red are the brightest and easiest to
see. Blue has a Yellow aura and Red has a Green aura. The brightness
and tone of the colour varies with the shade of colour used.
CROW: [valley girl] Duhh!
2. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax.
TOM: Say to yourself, "I'm not reading this post, I'm not reading this post."
When you are calm, look at the book. Focus your eyes on nothing,
CROW: Easy for you to say.
just a little to the side and a foot or two behind it.
TOM: A little to the side and a foot or two behind "nothing"? How?
MIKE: It's sort of like trying to see a Somebody Else's Problem field.
Hold and get used to that focus but don't strain your
eyes or tense your forehead. Concentrate! you need a gentle, steady
un-focus, just like day-dreaming. It is crucial your eyes are really relaxed
and dreamy while you hold the un-focus.
TOM: All right, I don't get it. How are you supposed to achieve this
miraculous combination of relaxation and concentration?
MIKE: Well Tom, you'll just have to try it and see.
After a while you will see a pale milky aura coming from the object.
ALL: Ewwww!
Keep
looking steadily at it and a bright yellow or green aura will start building
up from the object.
CROW: ...and then suddenly the object will explode.
Don't change focus and look directly at it or the aura will disappear.
TOM: Don't look at it Marian!
If you have trouble seeing the aura again after the first attempt,
have a rest. This is a common problem and just means your eyes are tired.
MIKE: My eyes are *very* tired right now.
Once you have done this and seen your first aura, you have taken the first
step
into a much larger world.
TOM: [singing in a falsetto] A whole new world!
There is a reason for the strange un-focus.
CROW: Oh *is* there?
It has to do with the rods and
cones in the human eye. The outer field of vision is many times more
sensitive to movement and subtle energy fields than the focused area is.
TOM: Is there any reason to trust this guy as a scientific authority?
Have you ever
seen a movement, out of the corner of your eye, only to turn and see nothing
there?
MIKE: Have you ever read a post that looked like it had content when you saw
it with the corner of your eye, only to turn and see nothing there?
What you have probably seen is an aura building up from some coloured
object and your eyes have detected the movement.
CROW: *That's* quite an assumption.
3. Once you have completed the first exercise, gather several books and cover
them with crepe paper, one each of the basic colours.
TOM: Why do you have to cover *books* with crepe paper?
Study these one at a time and write down the auric colour for it. Next
try using two at a time, and see how the colours affect each other,
write it down.
MIKE: Tom, don't say a word.
TOM: Come on, Mike! That was the most blatant run on sentence since
_Enterprized!_ You've gotta give me a little leeway here.
4. Get a pot plant
CROW: Oh, that explains *everything!*
and/or a bunch of fresh flowers and study their aura. The
auric colours you see will emanate from the olours' of the petals. The
Orange hue comes from the green of the stems and leaves.
TOM: You know, he hasn't actually explained this "opposite color" assertion.
MIKE: Maybe he's posted before, and assumes we've read it.
TOM: As long as the Mads assume we've read it.
You will also see a
more distinct etheric and a shimmering optical effect around them. This
shimmering is the life force of the plants.
CROW: Life Force. Huh! What a lame game.
TOM: Hey, I like it! Sure it's practically impossible to get past the third
level, but it's still pretty cool!
5. For the next step use an animal, dog or cat etc, if you can.
TOM: All right, *that* is where I draw the line! I am not going to sit here
and look at any more of this disgusting, perverted post.
[Tom hovers off the left side of the screen.]
CROW: Hey! Where are you going? There's still more post left!
Try and observe them when they are resting.
MIKE: Oh, see it's not even that bad. He didn't need to leave.
[Tom hovers back on screen and takes his seat.]
TOM: [sheepishly] There's another air grate there.
6. Observe your own aura.
ALL: HEY!
This can be done both inside and outside in the full sun.
TOM: Oh sure, there's always full sun inside.
Hold your arm out and study it against the sky. Alternatively, lie
down and look at your legs.
CROW: Neat trick if you can do it.
Make sure the skin is bare when you do this, and
remember, grass will give an orange hue to your aura.
Keep a record of all your experiments!
MIKE: Actually, the Mads take care of that for us.
When you feel you are proficient enough you can try it with a person.
CROW: [insinuating] Well it's about time!
MIKE: Crow...
Just remember to keep calm and don't try too hard. Do the same as in the
original training exercise.
TOM: Put crepe paper all over the person.
CROW: Kinky!
When you try it on a person though, get them to remove some of their clothing
MIKE: Now *that's* pretty blunt.
and study the bare skin area,
CROW: Study it *really* well.
with this area highlighted against a neutral background.
7. On a human the first thing you will see is the etheric, like pale smoke
clinging to the skin. Next you will see a shimmering optical effect in the
air extending maybe several inches,
MIKE: NOTHING! SAY NOTHING!
depending on the strength of the person's aura.
Keep trying and colour will build up from the etheric, this is the aura.
CROW: [David Byrne] This is not my beautiful aura.
With practise you will be able to see more and more of it. The coloured part
of the human aura can vary from a few inches to a couple of feet wide.
TOM: Oh wooow!
8. The brightness of a person's aura has a lot to do with how they feel.
CROW: As well as how someone else feels them.
MIKE: Hey...
TOM: Zing!
If they feel happy and full of life their aura is stronger and easier to see.
TOM: If they've been reading this post it will be almost impossible.
Try getting them to wear headphones and listen to their favourite music, this
will help energize their aura. Try it again with them listening to something
they can't stand
MIKE: New Kids on the Block?
and observe the difference in their aura.
9. Try it outside in the open.
CROW: Try it in an elevator. In a church. Wherever it feels good.
MIKE: Crow, you are headed for time out.
Make sure the sun is behind you and use the sky, a house or a hill as a
backdrop and observe the expanded aura of your volunteer.
There will be times when you will see auras easily, and there will be times
when you really have to concentrate.
CROW: Sometimes you feel like a nut...
There may even be times when you may fail to see it. This sporadic ability
will level out as the forehead chakra stabilizes.
TOM: [announcer] And it looks like Hulk Hogan is gonna give Rowdy Roddy Piper
a forehead chakra!
Note: The basic auras of colours are as follows: Blue = Yellow aura, Red =
Green aura, Green = Orange aura, Yellow = Pale Blue aura,
Orange = Pale Green aura, Violet = Pale Gold aura, Indigo = Gold aura, Pink =
Iridescent Green.
CROW: I can't prove it, you just have to take my word for it.
These colours will vary slightly according to the shade and tone of the
colours you use. I will not even try to cover iridescent colours
here.
TOM: [sarcastic] Oh, I guess we're not good enough for that!
Email letter: Peter, who used my new method with good results...
>>PETER:> Hi: "Thank you for the reply . I have tried
your suggestions, and I have some results and some questions.
TOM: I also have the most boring letter introduction known to humans.
First the results.
MIKE: Then, a fragment.
TOM: [angry] All right! You were the one who called no grammar flames! I
now decree that rule null and void!
I set up a bright blue coffee cup against a light tan
wall as a background.
As you suggested, I sat and focused about two feet
behind the cup and to the side. Soon a bright haze
began to form around the cup. Then it began to take on
a yellow tint.
CROW: Little did I know my dog was peeing in it.
MIKE: Watch it, Crow!
As I looked away, I closed my eyes and
I could see the whole picture of that side of the room
in color. I did not find that unusual, because I have
always been able to focus on a scene and form the
negative color image of that scene.
TOM: And, being the complete moron that I am, I considered this unique.
It appears that
the blue cup and the yellow aura are the compliments of
one another.
CROW: [Scottish accent] A brilliant deduction!
I then took a bright red cup and tried
the same thing. This time I got a light blue aura,
which seems to be the negative image of that color.
TOM: Wait. I thought green was supposed to be the opposite of red.
MIKE: Just give up, Tom. You're not going to find any consistency in this
post.
Is
this a physical phenomena of the eye, and am I going
off on the wrong track?
ALL: It's a physical phenomenon, and you're on the wrong track!
I have heard of people who can
see the auras all of the time? Is that going to be possible?
Thanks PETER"
TOM: [bitter] Yeah sure, thanks PETER.
MY ANSWER:>>It is a physical phenomenon of the eyes,
some people call it clairvoyance!
CROW: But it's actually just a physical phenomenon. I've been lying to you
this whole time.
You are definitely
on the right track, keep it up. Yes, some people can
see the aura all the time. I can if I choose to.
TOM: Nyeah!
But
it is not very nice watching auras all the time, I
rarely do that and it can be very tiring. Besides,
it's uncomfortable knowing how people are feeling all
the time, whether they are lying to you or not etc.
MIKE: So he's Betazoid?
TOM: I think that's enough Star Trek references for now.
It
is also very difficult to function in this world if you
are focused on people's auras all the time. You find you
have a tendency to bump into things and fall down holes!...
CROW: Ho, that zany Robert Bruce! He's always falling down holes!
I have taught many people to see the aura using this method. The fast results
build confidence and keep interest high. This ensures enough work and effort
is put in to get the desired results... seeing the human aura.
CROW: [sideshow voice] Step right up and get your tickets to see the human
aura! Don't miss the amazing human aura!
If you succeed in ANY of these exercises, you can, by definition, call
yourself a clairvoyant - which simply means o see clearly'.
MIKE: If you follow Robert Bruce's method, you can, by definition, call
yourself an idiot.
" (C) Copyright R.S.Bruce 7-April-1994 all rights reserved "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
ALL: YEAH! IT'S DONE!
AFTERWORD '
------------------
ALL: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
If you use this method, feel free to email me with your results or problems.
I
will try to help, and will use this feedback to enhance future articles.
TOM: Enhance their badness.
Note: If you write to me, please indicate whether or not I may use your
letter,
MIKE: I've got some letters he can use.
or part of it ( with your name changed ) in future publications. If
you do not indicate, I shall consider your permission as given.
CROW: Oh, Mr. Assumption.
I am planning a series of articles
ALL: NOOOOOOOO!!
for the newsgroups that have a paranormal
theme. Currently I am posting to: alt.paranormal alt.paranet.paranormal -
alt.out-of-body - alt.magick - alt.pagan -talk.religion.newage. If you know
of any other newsgroups you think would like these articles, please email me.
TOM: How 'bout rec.this.trash?
The subject of my next article will depend greatly on the feedback I get from
this article. <R>
MIKE: Well, Rob, we'd like to hear your thoughts on-
TOM: STOP! We don't want to hear his thoughts on *anything!* Don't
encourage him!
"OLD WISDOM"
CROW: Something I'm lacking.
A man may read, a man may learn,
Discourse and eulogize,
Gathering knowledge, deep, profound,
Discuss and theorize.
TOM: Unless that man is Robert Bruce.
But knowledge useless
Turns to dust,
And wasted be the teaching,
Lest he learns old Wisdom's way,
Of practising the preaching...
(C) W.J.Bruce.
MIKE: Are we getting just a little dramatic irony here, guys?
||-------------------------------------------------------------||
|| "WHAT IF THE BOUGH BENEATH YOU BREAKS, ||
|| REMEMBER, YOU HAVE WINGS!" ||
||-------------------------------------------------------------||
|| r...@perth.dialix.oz.au ....The light from down under! ||
||-------------------------------------------------------------||
|| Many partisan beliefs and theories, leave you with such a ||
|| peculiar empty feeling... much like a wallpaper sandwich ||
|| does. You think you've got it, you know you've had it, ||
|| but it doesn't sit quite right on the inside! <R> ||
||-------------------------------------------------------------||
MIKE: Wow, there it is again. He's referring to his own post.
TOM: Let's get out of here.
CROW: [singing] I come from the land down under...
o...2...3...4...5...6
[SOL]
TOM: Wow, guys! That wasn't just bad, it was long!
MIKE: Yeah, I'll say. But you know, I think, except for the fact that
author Robert Bruce seemed to believe that completely natural phenomena
are mystical and paranormal, it wasn't too far off-base.
CROW: Oh come *on*, Mike! This guy couldn't even decide what color system
to use. I mean, first he says green is the opposite of red, and then
he turns around and says yellow is the opposite of blue!
MIKE: Well you know, Crow, that's a good point, but I'm not sure the viewers
are going to understand his mistake there. Maybe we should explain it
to them, hmm?
CROW: You do it. I'm bitter.
MIKE: Uh, Tom?
TOM: [public speaking voice] Why, I'd be delighted, Mike. For those of you
playing at home, what my buddy Crow is referring to is the difference
between the color relationships of pigment, i.e. - paint or inks...
CROW: ...or crayons.
TOM: Yes, thank you Crow. ...or crayons, and of light. You see, in pigment,
the three primary colors are red, yellow, and blue, so that red and the
combination of yellow and blue - that is, green - are opposites.
However, in light the primary colors are red, green and blue, so that
blue and the combination of red and green - that is, yellow - are
opposites. The humor, or as the great Robert Bruce would say, "humour"
lies in his apparent confusion as to which system he was actually using.
How was that?
CROW: Kind of a long way to go for a joke, wasn't it.
MIKE: Well, it's always good to be educational. What do you think, sirs?
[Deep 13 - Frank is standing with his eyes closed. He is made up to look
like Frankenstein's monster, and Dr F. is putting the finishing touches on
his neck stitching.]
DR F.: Just one more to go...there! Now we'll just cut the thread...[he
does so]...and you're as good as new, Frank. Push the button, Frank.
[Frank stands there with his eyes closed]
DR F.: Push the button, Frank!
[Frank does not move]
DR F.: [hitting Frank] PUSH THE BUTTON, FRANK!
[Frank falls over forwards and his head hits the button.]
[black]
FRANK: [in blackout] Ow! What'd you do that for?
[love theme]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: _Mystery Science Theatre 3000_, its characters, and all
associated trademarks are property of Best Brains, Inc. This MiSTing is not
intended as an infringement of that ownership. It is also not intended as
a personal attack against Robert Bruce, his correspondents, or anyone that
believes in or sees auras - using his methods or otherwise.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
comments/suggestions should be sent to: dark...@merle.acns.nwu.edu
This MiSTing written by Eric "Darkwing" Simon.
>Then I started to see the same thing coming from
>some of the computer monitors that sit on the desk.
Petrea Mitchell
human subjects for aura viewing as the wackiest idea since... oh, gods,
is there anything to rival that? "I'd like to practice seeing your au-
ra. Put on these crepe-paper overalls and lie on this lawn here..."
/
Petrea Mitchell <|> <|>
<pr...@mvp.rain.com,agora.rdrop.com>
A .sig, a .sig-- my kingdom for a .sig!
Larry MacGregor
Guess I'll have to pull those books off the shelf and reread them!
Larry
--
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| lm...@pnet1.pnet.com | "This is SO cool!" |
| lm...@aol.com | |
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