[MSTing] Bishoujo Senshi Sour Lemon - Part 3
Freezer
TOM : Oh, hey! For those of you looking for some sort of wacky
host segment, we apologize. We spent the whole time trying
to reset my sequencer to scramble the fic text. Turns out,
the silly thing's only stable for one shot per experiment.
We still don't know how long it'll take to reset fully, so
we're stuck with this fic as is. And now you know... The
rest of the story.
CROW: Thank you, Mr. Exposition!
> NoteL This is a hentai fic. IT is not suitable for kids under
> 18. If you are offended by this, that's your own **** fault
> because you're too touchy.
TOM : Way to make friends and influence people!
> Chibi-Usa's Lover II
CROW: The next day!
TOM : The Sequel!
JOEL: Electric Boogaloo!
> Chibi-usa sighed and let her hands fall away fromher pussy as
> the last of hr love juice swirled down the drain.
JOEL: Hey! Don't waste that! It's H.R. Puffnstuff's best
flavor!
> A tear of frustration slid down her cheek. She was msturbating
> at least one or two times a day now.
TOM : Do we really want to know how one "msturbates?"
CROW: I'm thinking not.
> It didn't help. She tried to deny it; she tried to ignore it;
> but she wantd him.
> Wanted him bad.
TOM : Well, you can't have me!
JOEL: I don't think...
TOM : Look! Let me ego-trip in peace!
> Mamoru kissed his wife's cheek, and then her lips.
CROW: Then her head, then her ears, then he slipped her right
nostril the tongue.
> "Good-bye, Usako," he said in a voice choked with tears.
> "Oh, Mamo-chan, I'll only be gone for three weeks--"
> "I know, I know," sighed Mamoru. "It's just..."
JOEL: [Mamoru] I forget how to work the microwave!
> "Let's not make this any harder than it has to be. Bye, my
> love."
> She turned and got into the limosine,
TOM: And curved away! Heh! Just a little math humor, folks!
> with a last fluttery wave for her husband.
> Mamoru turned and walked into his room, to fall on the bed.
> He groaned.
JOEL: He landed on his keys again.
> *no!* he told himself fiercely. *I won't do that to her again.
> It was wrong, and I won't!*
> But he wanted her. Wanted her bad.
GYPSY: [Offscreen] Well you can't have me!
JOEL: Oh... Kay...
> Chibi-usa looked at herself in the mirror. She was
> stunning in the lacy pink bodysuit, with it's push-upbra and G-
> string. The stockings and gartr belt were very sexy, as were
> five-inch-heels.
CROW: I see she's going for the "Schizoid Hooker" look.
JOEL: And here we have Chibi-Usa modeling the latest in Madonna-
brand Underoos.
> Quickly, she let her fall out of the odangos it was
TOM : And immediately took on the appearance of a pink Cousin
It.
> in and pulled on a sheer pink bathrobe, trimmed with lace. She
> didn't belt it, but instead let it flutter around her
> provocatively.
> *This is wrong,* she thoought.
JOEL: [Chibi-Usa] I look like someone dipped me in glue and
threw me through a Fredrick's of Hollywood!
> *I'm a bad girl.*
> *I don't care! I want to have fun! I want to be a bad girl! So I
> will be, whether you like it or not!*
CROW: Uh, oh! Looks like the lithium is wearing off!
> She walked out of the room, through the halls an gently pushed
> open the door to her fathers room.
> She tiptoed over to him. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't
> asleep.
JOEL: But since she was there, she decided to smother him
anyway.
> She bent ver him, so that when his eyes opened, he would get an
> eyeful of tits.
TOM : Okay... He's _not_ asleep, but he's not noticing any of
this?
CROW: [Mamoru] Okay, just lie still. Maybe she'll get bored and
wander off!
> "Papa?" she whispered.
> His eyes opened. He gasped. "Chibi-usa?"
JOEL: [Mamoru] Why are you dressed like a blind stripper?
> She leaned down and kissed him passionately. At first, he
> resisted, but soon
CROW: .005 seconds later...
> their tongues were dancing in eachother's mouths. Mamoru's lips
> slid down, to caress her beautiful slim neck. Chibi-usa moaned
> happily. She tilted her shoulders just so, so that the robe slid
> from them, revealing her.
TOM : And her Fredrick’s of WTF ensemble.
> Mamoru's kiss traveled to her shoulder, his hand pushing the
> strap of the bodysuit out of the way. He repeated the process
> with the other; the top of her bodysuit fell away, and her firm,
> round breasts appeared.
ALL: [Chibi-Usa's breasts] TADA!!!
> Her nipples were so erect, they arched.
CROW: Nipples... Arching... Don't quite see that.
> Mamoru cupped one breast in his strong hand, squeezing gently.
JOEL: The other he squeezed strongly with his gentle hand.
> "Yes..." whispered Chibi-usa as he began to kiss the sweet mound
> of lady-flesh. She gasped when he took her rock-hard nipples
> into his hot mouth and suckled, like her breast was a life-
> giving chalice.
TOM : Does that mean he's going to transform into Super Tuxedo
Kamen?
CROW: That's kinda... Ew! Even for me!
> He rpeated his kisses on the other large breast until Chibi-usa
> was moaning very loudly.
JOEL: Which alerted Diana, who told Luna and Artemis.
TOM : Who then told the other Senshi, who proceeded to open up a
planet-sized can of whoop-ass on Mamoru.
CROW: And this was ALL before Usagi found out...
> Then his kisses traveled south. He kissed her ribs, her stomach,
> her navel,
TOM : Her sternum, her hip-bones, her left ACL...
> pulling the lingerie down in his wake.
CROW: Yay! They're getting pulled into a portal to Hell!
> Then he kissed her pussy.
JOEL: Diana thanked him kindly for not slipping her the tongue.
> Chibi-usa gasped and sat straight up as his questing lips found
> her clit and sucked it, caressing it with his tongue. The
> pleasure was almost unberable.
TOM : <SIGH!> If you're going to write something this nasty,
folks, at least spell the words right!
> "I'm--" she gasped
ALL: [Chibi-Usa] So going to Hell for this!!!
> before her sweet, sticky cum shot into Mamoru's mouth. He licked
> all the cum from her thighs and pussy.
> Then, he did all those wonderful thigns
TOM : Oy!
> all over again.
> Chibi-usa was practically screaming iwth the intense pleasure
> she was getting.
CROW: INTENSE... INCESTUOUS... STATUTORY RAPE... ACTION!!!
> Somehow, Mamoru had gotten off his shirt and trousers, but his
> underwear still remained.
JOEL: [Chibi-Usa] Really, Daddy! Batman Underoos?
TOM : [Mamoru] Hey, lay off! I'm stylin'!
> Chibi-uasa could easily see his erection. "Daddy--now--" she
> gasped,
TOM : [Chibi-Usa] Take me to Disneyland!
> arching up against him. She was taut as a bowstring, and sweat
> sheened her body. She pulled off her father's underpants. He
> positioned himself over her love-box,
JOEL: Which just happened to be Chibi-Usa's name for her hope
chest.
CROW: [Chibi-Usa] Gawd, Daddy! You really are a little freak,
aren't you?
> and, without warning thrust into her.
> Chibi-usa screamed with pleasure, arching her hips and burying
> him deeper.
TOM : Until he suffocated. The end! Yay!
> e thrust in and out, and moved around inside her pussy.
CROW: He moved _around_... [Desi Arnez] Chibi! You got some
'splainin' to do!
> She met his thrusts with her own, doubling their pleasure. They
> both stiffened, and then cried out with pleasure, as Amoru shot
> semen up Chibi-usa's tight pussy.
TOM : Umm... Who?!?
JOEL: [Amuro Rey] Damn! The side effects on these T-Frames get
weirder every day!
> He rolled off of her, gasping for breath.
> "Chibi-usa smiled. "Oh, Daddy....that was even better than last
> time."
CROW: So would getting your thumb smashed. What's your point?
> She rolled over and dangled her large breasts and pink npples in
> his face. How about we do it again?"
TOM: You just go ahead, dear. We'll just leave you acts of sin
and evil and stuff. Let's bail, guys.
{All leave}
[ 6 ]...[ 5 ]...[ 4 ]...[ 3 ]...[ 2 ]...[ 1 ]...[ * ]
{We come back to see Crow holding a hand blender with bottle-
washers attached to it inside Tom Servo's dome.]
CROW: Feeling any cleaner?
TOM : Nope! Still feel damned unclean. Hit me with another dab
of Didi 5.
CROW: Okie-dokey! [Squeezes a tube into Tom's dome. Then adds
some water] Contact!
<<WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!>>
CROW: How's that?
TOM : Yeah! Couple more of those!
[Enter Joel with a bathrobe and towel over his jumpsuit]
JOEL: Man, I thought I'd never feel clean again! Hey, guys.
What are you up to?
CROW: Oh, nothing. Just scrubbing each other's brains clean of
those horrible lemons.
JOEL: Yeah, I know how you feel. But how's Tom going to scrub
you out, with no working arms and all?
TOM : Four words - Hover skirt, buffer attachment.
<<WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!>>
CROW: Alrighty, Tom. Rinse and spit.
[A spout of grey water comes out of Tom's mouth.]
TOM : <PAH!> Ugh! Anyone got some mouthwash?
<< RUUUMBLE!!!! >>
CROW: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?
JOEL: I think something just hit us! Cambot, gimmie Rocket #9!
{Outside the satellite, we see a giant, glowing sailing-type
ship. (Players of _Sailor Moon: Another Story_ would recognize
it as Sailor Venus' Star Yacht.)}
TOM : [Singsong, as the Hexfield opens up] We got company!
{The Hexfield opens up to reveal Sailor Venus, Sailor Chibi-
Moon, and Tuxedo Kamen}
VENUS: Alright, wise guys. We've been monitoring you reading
"Passing The Torch" and those damned "Chibi-Usa's Lover"
stories. You've got ten seconds to tell us where you got them
from...
TUXEDO: Or we'll just assume you wrote them, and we'll take
appropriate vengance upon you and your ship.
CHIBI: Start talking, punks!
[SOL]
JOEL: But, we didn't...
TOM : Hold it! Just who do YOU think you're threatening?
CROW: Yeah! Even if we had the info you wanted, what makes you
think that YOU guys could shake us down for it?
JOEL: Guys, wait a...
TOM : No offense, Venus, but you're riding with the Aquaman and
Gleek of the Sailor Senshi.
CROW: OOH! I'm so scared! You're gonna hit me with roses! Or
maybe some hard candy hearts! Oh woe... Is... Me!
JOEL: Guys, stop for a...
[Hexfield]
VENUS: Let me guess... You've never read the actual Sailor Moon
manga, have you?
[SOL]
TOM : No, but what's that got to do with any...
[Hexfield]
TUXEDO: TUXEDO LA SMOKING BOMBER!!
[Similtaneously]
CHIBI: PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!
[Crow's head explodes in a flash of light. Tom gets swept off
the desk by a beam of pink energy. Both accompanied by yells of
pain and surprise.]
VENUS: Oh, it just means that Tuxedo Kamen and Chibi-Moon are
both much more powerful than the anime showed. For that matter,
so am I!
TUXEDO: Now answer the question, or all three of us start
firing at full power!
[SOL]
JOEL: But I've been trying to tell you! We didn't want to read
those stories, we were forced to. Scan us and you'll notice
that we're being monitored from Earth. Follow that signal, and
you'll find the guys you're looking for!
[Hexfield]
TUXEDO: Venus?
VENUS: Looks like he's telling the truth. There's a definite
signal coming from Earth.
TUXEDO: Hmm... Looks like we owe you little apology. Sorry
about blasting your little metal friends. It's just that these
particular stories were just so nasty...
CHIBI: We had to talk Usagi down from fragging the planet with
the Ginzuishou just to get rid of those things!
VENUS: Well, we're going to go wreak unholy vengeance on the guys
beaming you this stuff. Again, sorry about the mess.
ALL: [Bowing] GOMEN NASAI!!!
{Hexfield closes.}
JOEL: WAIT! Aw, man! I forgot to ask them for a ride home!
[Tom rises from under the desk]
TOM: oW! Fried and denied!
[Crow rises from under the desk, his head a melted stump with
eyes attached]
CROW: On the bright side, that blast cleared that dirty feeling
right out!
JOEL: Oh, and sirs? You might not want to answer the doorbell.
You got some company coming!
[D-13]
DR.F: Umm... Sorry, Joel. I didn't catch any of that. Simon
Cowell himself showed up to add some bonus features to the
discs, and he ended up doing an impromptu insult seminar.
[Pan out to Simon (Mike Nelson again) standing at a podium.
Frank is sitting in front of him in rapt attention. Dr.
Forrester hurries back to join him.]
"SIMON": As I was saying: A sneer and an eye roll adds punch
to even the most juvenile insult. [Sneers] You... Big... Doodie
head! [Normal face] And don't forget the overdramatics if you're
stuck for a line. That helps, too!
FRANK: What if the insult falls flat anyway?
SIMON: That's where the sneer does double duty - just keep
sneering at your target in disgust. They'll think they're just
too stupid to get the insult! And also, you can...
< < < KABOOM!!! > > >
{The door to Deep 13 falls over. Through the smoke emerges
Sailor Venus, Tuxedo Mask, and Chibi-Moon]
SENSHI: PREPARE TO BE PUNISHED, EVIL DOERS!
SIMON: Oh, look! The circus is in town! Or is it The Power
Rangers? Or both?
FRANK: Ah, Mr. Cowell. I don't think you should..
SIMON: Oh, I know who these twits are supposed to be. And I
also know that they're not getting on the show! It's "American
Idol," not "Japanese Twits in Silly Costumes."
TUXEDO: Blasting time?
VENUS & CHIBI: Blasting time!
[Chibi-Moon whips out her Moon Rod. Venus and TM's hands start
glowing]
DR.F: Frank, make a note that even the masters can ignore some
of their own best advice.
FRANK: Disc 1 - track 1: Never insult anyone without a headstart
or sufficient security!
DR.F: Now, you push the button. I'll get the escape tunnel
opened.
FRANK: Right! [Both Dash off]
SIMON: Um... Shouldn't you be running off in tears? Or... Or...
SECURITY!
\ | /
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<< FWOOOSH >>
/ | \
/ | \
/ | \
Mystery Science Freezer
[http://www.geocities.com/mysterysciencefreezer]
Ep. 1: WWF Smackdown - 4/06/00 recap
Ep. 2: Scooby Did [Lemon]
Ep. 3: Voyager: S-Space, part 1 [Lemon]
Ep. 4: Voyager: Stealth Wedgie
Ep. 5: Violence Aimed Even At Preschoolers
Ep. 6: Brightheart The Cub Sitter [Lemon]
Ep. 7: Sweet Beginnings [Lime]
Ep. 8: Life's Surprises
Ep. 9: School Girls [Lemon]
Ep.10: Netnoise Triple Feature
Ep.11: Bishoujo Senshi Sour Lemon [Lemon]
Mystery UGoS Theater (Wrestle-centric with saltier language)
[http://dccmm.com/dccmm/wilfmst3k.html]
Ep. 1: Judgment Day 2000 Rant by Scott Keith
Ep. 3: Chris Hyatte's "And Another Thing" 9.25.2000
(Collaboration with Maple Leaf Mickey and The Big Fred Machine)
Ep. 4: Danielle Fishel & Lacey Chabert At Smackdown!
Group MSTings: (Available on WS9
{http://www.masemware.com/mst3k/})
Love Bites - (Edited by Rebo Valence, written with half the free
world)
Royal and Prime Directives (Edited by Bill Livingston)
<< Will The Mads escape the wrath of the pissed-off Senshi? Has
Simon finally insulted the wrong people? Will Crow recover from
getting fragged twice in one day? Find out on the next episode
of Mystery Science Freezer! >>
{{*I don't care! I want to have fun! I want to be a bad girl! So
I will be, whether you like it or not!*}}
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My name is:
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