[MSTing] Get Paid 1 MILLION Dollars Without Working!
Silas Janzen
critique! Please? I wanna know if I'm any good, how I can improve, etc.
I might post a longer msting with host segments if this one gets some
responses.
MST3K and the MSTing format, characters, etc belong to Best Brains. No
infringment of copyright intended. Spam is copyright Jonathan, or
prom...@flashmail.com. MSTing is, of course, copyright Silas Janzen.
With that said, let's...begin.
************************************************************
<Crow, Mike and Tom enter the theater>
Subject:
Get Paid 1 MILLION Dollars Without Working!
CROW (Wayne): Yeah, and flying monkeys will jump out of my butt.
MIKE: I think you got that wrong.
CROW: Bite me!
Date:
Fri, 31 Jan 2003 00:18:24 -0600
From:
prom...@flashmail.com
Hello,
ALL: HELLO!!
My name is Jonathan, a self made Internet Millionaire,
CROW: Why is it in capitals?
MIKE: Maybe it's his job.
TOM: Self...made...eww...
MIKE: So he impregnated himself?
CROW: MIIIIIIIIIKE!!
MIKE: Heh.
and I am offering you ONE MILLION
DOLLARS
CROW: If the PRICE IS RIGHT!!
for simply joining my Wealth Building Network!
CROW (Jonathan): Once you join, your first job will be to...give me two
million
dollars!
YES, you read that correctly!
MIKE: Did we?
CROW: I guess we did...
TOM: Boy, this Jonathan fellow is pretty strict...
I'll pay you ONE MILLION DOLLARS without ever having to
CROW (Johnathan): --Pay me anything less than the cost of a small house!
But It's
worth it!
sponsor
or recruit anyone, place any ads, or do ANY work at all!
CROW: So what, you could make a million dollars just sitting around
eating onion dip?
MIKE: No, I think you need a university course for that...
TOM: It's all in how you hold the spoon.
Plus, there are MANY other benefits the YOU will receive as a member!
CROW (Jonathan): Including this excellent...COMMEMERATIVE GOLD-PLATED
BADGER!!
MIKE (Gullible person): Really?!
CROW (Jonathan): Well...it's actually just a bit of roadkill dipped in
gold paint...
Make NO mistake about it, this offer is for REAL!
CROW: Really?
TOM: Really.
CROW: Is it really real? I mean, can this be really for real? Are YOU
for real?
Really?
TOM: Really really.
MIKE: The "really" sketch, ladies and gentlemen.
This is NOT mlm or network marketing!
MIKE: It's a COMPLETELY different scam!
Don't let this ONCE IN A LIFTIME, MILLION DOLLAR Opportunity just pass
YOU by!
CROW (Singing): So don't delay, act now...
Simply click on the link below RIGHT NOW
ALL (Singing): RIGHT NOW!
for all of the details of how this is possible!
http://www.geocities.com/makrrnoneynow
CROW: Heh. Geocities.
TOM (Sarcastic): Gee, now I _KNOW_ it's not a scam!
This message was sent to you because
MIKE: The world hates you.
CROW: ...I'll accept that.
someone using this email address has expressed an interest
and requested information about income opportunities in the past.
MIKE (Dr. Evil): Riiiiiiight.
If you would like to delete
yourself from the list, click reply and put delete as the subject, our
automated
system will
permanently stop all further offers.
MIKE (Dr. Evil): Riiiiiiight.
CROW: Okay, that's enough, fleshy.
9067khl6
9716HCRZ8-682EeHt5150GsHO5-0l26
ALL: Gehundesheit!
CROW: And...we're clear.
<All exit theater>
*****************************************************************
Well? Didja like it? Remember, PLEASE critique. Even if you hated
it--for whatever reason--I wanna know!
____
Be sure to remove the "xx"'s from my email when replying. It should read
silas...@shaw.ca.
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin! Stop it!"
--Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy