[MSTing] MST3k1 'Project Monarch' Part 2
Jack Acid
Part 2 of 'Project Monarch' - Episode 3001
MSTed by the Placid Jack Acid
[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]
Mike had a worried look on his face as he leafed through the latest copy of
"E-Z 'bot Repair". "Well, Tom, it looks like your head blew up one
too many times. Your image compiler doohickey is warped out of shape. And
your dome generation thingamajig's completely ruined. And I have no idea
where I can get a replacement..."
If Tom Servo could frown, he'd have been doing it now. He was on top
of the command console, his head shattered like safe-T-glass. Mike put down
the book and reexamined the remains of Tom's blackened face.
"Owie. Does it hurt much?" Mike asked, wincing.
"Nah, I feel fine-- no thanks to a certain gold-chromed idiot!"
Crow looked up from his magazine. "Hey, man, I said I was sorry! Look, I
can't do much about your pain and suffering, but as a token of my apologies,
take my last Ding-Dong," he said "I was saving it for a special occasion,
too..."
"Gee, thanks Crow!" Tom exclaimed. He gingerly hovered over to where he
heard Crow's voice. He fell over, down off the counter and onto the floor in
a painful heap. Righting himself, Tom continued towards where he thought
Crow was, only to completely miss him and run directly into the wall.
"Uh, Tom? Can you see okay, little buddy?" Mike walked over and picked up
Servo off the floor. Walking back, he placed the crippled robot back on top
of the counter.
"Oh, sure. You'd see just *peachy* too if your head blew up like mine did!
Perfect twenty-twenty vision, all the way..."
"There's no need to lash out, Tom." Mike scolded. "This is just a little
too serious to fix with some crazy glue. Where am I going to find spare
parts if I'm stuck up here in space?" Mike started to pace around the
bridge. "The damage to some of your sensory equipment is irreparable! And if
I can't fix you, how can you watch the rest of the news post?" Mike was
apparently too upset to see the upside of Tom's condition...
"You could get the Nanites to fix Servo!" Crow walked up to the counter
with the Ding-Dong and pushed the chemically packed sweet treat next to Tom
with his claw. "Here you are, Tom... it's about a foot to your left... don't
smoosh it!" He looked at Mike. "As I was saying, Mike, the Nanites can whip
him back into shape in a jiffy! And for free!"
"Great idea! I forgot all about the Nanites! Why am I so dumb, sometimes?"
He glanced back at Crow. "Don't say a word..."
"I wasn't gonna say anything! Honest!"
"Sure..." Mike grabbed the magnification viewer and peered inside. "Come
in, Nanites!"
"Yeah, well... I'm getting hungry, so I'm going to go make some pizza
rolls. Okay, Mike?" Crow left for the kitchen area.
"Fine, Crow, you do that... Calling all Nanites..."
[Nanite World]
Ned the Nanite looked up. "Yeah? Oh, it's you, Mr. Teilsen."
*"It's 'Nelson', actually. I need a little favor..."*
"Well, I need a little pay raise, but you don't hear me whining about it.
Do know how much overtime I put in doing paperwork from the last time you
had us blow up a planet? Almost three seconds!"
*"Gee, I'm sorry about that, but the job's not so fancy this time. I need a
repair job for one of my pals here..."*
"Alright, but might be a few moments 'cause I have to fill out a new work
order. More paperwork, you see," Ned said dryly, "You can get another cup of
coffee if you want, Mr. Belson." Ned walked out of view.
[SOL Bridge]
"Yeah, yeah." Mike pushed the viewer away, but kept it down for now.
Remembering Crow's pizza rolls and a sudden appeal for a cup of coffee, Mike
sulked over into the Satellite's kitchen, leaving Servo all by himself.
Tom, who was bigsweating all this time at the thought of having to watch
the rest of that conspiracy post, suddenly got an idea. He moved to where he
thought the viewer was, bumped his head on it, and managed to get in front
the screen. "Uh, guys? Anyone there? Hello!"
[Nanite World]
Ned the Nanite had a pile of work forms on his back. "*Now* what?" He
wondered, looking up...
[SOL Bridge]
"Can I make a deal with you? PRETTY please?" Tom begged.
*"What kinda deal?"*
"Oh, nothing much. Just when the big meaty guy comes back here, tell him
there is absolutely, positively, *no* way you can fix my head today. Make
some kind of excuse. Anything!"
*"What's in it for me?"*
"Uhhh..." Tom thought fast. "Umm, How about this? You do what I say and
tonight, I'll leave out an *entire* Ding-Dong for you guys! Deal?"
*"A WHOLE Ding-Dong? Are you kidding?!"* Ned's eyes lit up. *"Buddy, you
got yourself a deal!"*
"Heh, heh..." Tom moved back from the viewer just as Mike and Crow walked
back into the bridge.
"Mike, how can you eat pizza rolls and drink *coffee* at the same time?
That's *disgusting*!" Crow gagged.
"It's an acquired taste..." Mike grabbed the viewer again, looked in, and
said, "Hey, almost done in there, fellas?"
*"Uh, bad news, Mr. Relstien. We got the parts on back order, and they
won't arrive until next week."* Ned lied.
"'Parts'? Since when do you guys use 'parts'?"
*"Really sorry, but it's the best I can do on short notice"*
"Ah-ha, sure, thanks anyway..." Mike pushed the viewer back up to the
ceiling. "Guess you're out of luck, Servo."
"Oh, it's no big deal, Mike. I'll get along, somehow..." Tom made a phony,
sympathy inducing cough. "Somehow... Well, seeing how I can't see the post,
I might as well go lie down, right?"
"I guess, Tom... Oh, Pearl's calling!" Mike hit the respond button.
[Winged Microbus of Doom]
The Observer was behind the wheel, since Pearl was in the back, under
several quilts and a dozen hot water bottles. She was fast asleep because
Bobo was reading an article from USA weekend to her. The Observer turned to
look at the bus's side mirror, where the communication camera was kept.
"Ah, Mike. I'm afraid Pearl left instruction to show you the second half of
the Usenet post." He shuddered. "Even I have my limits. Please forgive me,
Mike..."
[SOL Bridge]
"It's all good, Brain Guy. I kinda figured Pearl would be in a crappy
mood, so I was prepared for the worst."
*"Good. Oh, and, Red One, about my body odor..."*
"Um, yes?" Tom's voice was shaky.
*"Consider us even."* The Observer put his hand to his forehead and issued
a mental command. He smiled.
Tom's head was instantly repaired, sight and all.
"DOH!!!" Tom yelled.
The bridge began to shake, and the lights began to strobe.
"Ohhhhh, WE GOT LOONY SIGN!!!"
[6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Theater]
(They all sit down as usual)
>Part 2/2
Crow: You're two for two, Ron...
Mike: Well, Tom, I just realized why you wanted to be blind...
Tom: I can't believe I wasted a whole Ding-Dong for that! Man!
Mike: Huh?
>Method and Components
> The initial process begins with creating dissociation within the
>subject, usually occurring from the time of birth to about six years.
Mike: They read conspiracy posts as bedtime stories!
Tom: (as a nanny) Ok, children, who wants to hear about Alexis the
Alien and his magical anal probes?
Crow: (snickers)
>This is primarily achieved through the use of electroshock (ECT) and
>is at times performed even when the child is in the mother's womb.
Crow: They force the mother to listen to Metallica!
Tom: Or make her stick a finger in a light socket...
> Due to the severe trauma induced through ECT, sexual abuse and other
>methods, the mind splits off into alternate personalities from the
>core. Formerly referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder, it is
>presently recognized as Dissociative Identity Disorder and is the
>basis for MONARCH programming.
Crow: What does that mean, Mike?
Mike: I don't know, and frankly, I don't care.
> Further conditioning of the victim's mind is enhanced through
>hypnotism, double-bind coercion, pleasure-pain reversals, food, water,
>sleep and sensory deprivation, along with various drugs which alter
>certain cerebral functions.
Crow: Like coffee and pizza rolls...
Mike: (burps) Uh, oh...
> The next stage is to embed and compress detailed commands or
>messages within the specified alter. This is achieved through the use
>of hi-tech headsets, in conjunction with computer-driven generators
>which emit inaudible sound waves or harmonics that affect the RNA
>covering of neuron pathways to the subconscious and unconscious mind.
Mike: Which is impossible but makes for an entertaining post...
>"Virtual Reality" optical devices are sometimes used simultaneously
>with the harmonic generators projecting pulsating colored lights,
>subliminals and split-screen visuals.
Tom: Ah, you can do the same thing cheaper by smoking some hemp...
Mike: Tom?
>High voltage electroshock is then used for memory dissolution.
> Programming is updated periodically and reinforced through visual,
>auditory and written mediums. Some of the first programming themes
>included the Wizard of Oz and Alice and Wonderland, both heavily
>saturated with occultic symbolism.
Crow: Whoa, you're moving into *dangerous* territory, man...
> Many of the recent Disney movies and cartoons are used in a two-
>fold manner: desensitizing the majority of the population, using
>subliminals and neuro-linguistic programming, and deliberately
>constructing specific triggers and keys for base programming of
>highly-impressionable MONARCH children.
Mike: Okay, fella, *this* time you've gone too far...
Tom: Screw around with Disney, and you screw around with death...
Mike: I grew up with Walt Disney! I love Walt Disney!
Crow: What's next? Subliminal messages in "Pocahontas"?
> A prime example of how subliminal programming works is by looking at
>the recent Disney cinematic sensation Pochahontas,
Crow: AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! (head begins to spark)
Tom: Hey! I didn't know your head could do that!
Crow: (coughing) Neither did I...
Mike: I am in control, I am in control, I am...
>curiously billed as their "33rd" (highest degree in Scottish Rite
>Freemasonry) animated movie.
>In the movie, Grandmother Willow is a mystical 400 year old tree who
>counsels the motherless Pochahontas to listen to her heart and help
>her realize all the answers lie within.
Tom: Aww! Maybe this guy's not so bad after all...
Crow: Yeah, I guess he doesn't have to see conspiracy in everything...
> Grandmother Willow is constantly talking in "double-speak" and using
>"reversals" (i.e. "Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one";
>the esoteric derivative being: the left path [the path that leads to
>destruction] is the easiest one.
Tom: Oh... huh?
Mike: (rises out of seat) OKAY! IT'S GO TIME!!! YOU AND ME, PAL!!!
Crow: Take it easy, man!
> In Illuminati Structured MPD Systems, the willow tree represents the
>occultic powers of Druidism. The intrinsic imagery of the tree's
>branches, leaves and root systems are very significant, as some of the
>dark spiritual proper ties associated with the Willow Tree Programming
>are:
>(I) The branches are used to whip victims in rituals for "cleansing"
>purposes,
Crow: Uh-huh...
Tom: Sure...
>(2) A willow tree can endure severe weather disturbances (i.e. storms)
>and is known for it's pliability or flexibility. Victims/Survivors of
>the programming describe the willow's branches wrapping around them,
>with no hope of escape,
Tom: I know the feeling...
>(3) The deep root system of the willow tree makes the victim/survivor
>feel as if they are falling deeper and deeper into an abyss while in a
>hypnotic trance.
Crow: (yawns) I know the feeling...
> Music plays an instrumental role in programming, through
>combinations of variable tones, rhythms and words. Frightmeister
>Stephen King's numerous novels and subsequent movies, are purported by
>credible sources to be used for such villainous purposes.
Tom: Hoo-boy...
> One of his latest books, Insomnia, features a picture of King with
>the trigger phrase "WE NEVER SLEEP," (indicative of someone with MPD/
>DID) below an all-seeing eye.
Crow: So we can infer that this guy is *not* a fan of Stephen King?
Tom: Uh-oh...
Crow: What?
Tom: Mike *is*!
Mike: (foaming at the mouth)
> A partial list of other mediums used to reinforce base programming
>are: Pinnochio, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast,
>Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, E. T., Star Wars, Ghost
>Busters, Trancers II, Batman, Bewitched, Fantasy Island, Reboot, Tiny
>Toons, Duck Tails, The Dead Sea Scrolls and The Tall Book of Make
>Believe.
Mike: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (leaps out of seat, flails about madly)
Tom: Crow, get the gun...
Crow: No... I-I can't pos-ssibly...
Mike: IT'S WHOOP ASS TIME!!! THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!!!
Mike: (picks up Tom like a baseball bat)
Mike: EV'RYB'DY MUST DIE!!! THE IRON MAN SWEARS IT!!! *SWEARS* IT!!!
Tom: Crow! Now!! HURRY!!!
Crow: (hurries off-screen to the right)
Mike: PATHETIC FOOL!!! YOU CANNOT RUIN THE GOOD NAME OF WALT DISNEY
*AND* STEPHEN KING IN THE SAME CONSPIRACY POST AND EXPECT TO ESCAPE
THE WRAITH OF MICHAEL J. NELSON!!! (throws Tom down in an unconscious
rage) PREPARE TO *DIE*!!!
Crow: (fires a tranquilizer dart that hits Mike in the hindquarters)
Mike: PREPARE TO-- To-- to-- ooh... (slumps back down into seat)
Tom: (recovering) Good work, Crow. That was a close one...
Crow: That wasn't so bad... It was sorta fun! (comes back on screen)
> A few movies which depict or portray some aspect of MONARCH
>programming are Hell raiser 3, Raising Cain, Labyrinth, Telefon,
>Johnny Mneumonic, Point of No Return, The Lawnmower Man and Closet
>Land.
Crow: (sitting back down) I kinda liked Labyrinth, though...
Tom: You would...
>Programmers and Places
> It's difficult to figure out who the original programmer of this
>satanic project was, due to the substantial amount of disinformation
>and cross-contamination propagated by the "powers that be." The two
>that went by the color-coded name of Dr. Green
Tom: Doc *Green*? Any relation to Dr. Thinker?
Crow: Well, Dr. T *was* obsessed with color in Judge Brainitite....
>are a Jewish doctor named Dr. Gruenbaum, who supposedly collaborated
>with the Nazis during WWII, and Dr. Josef Mengele, whose trademark of
>cold blooded and calculating brutality has not only scarred the souls
>of survivors from Auschwitz, but also
Crow: ... provided the basis for many a conspiracy...
>a countless number of victims throughout the world. Mengele's direct
>involvement at the infamous Auschwitz concentration camp was
>suspiciously downplayed during the Nuremberg Trials, and consequently
>no intensified effort by the U.S. and it's allies was directed toward
>his capture. [13]
Mike: (coming to) Ohhhhh...
Tom: Welcome back, bright eyes!
Mike: Is - is it over?
Crow: Sadly, no. Do you want me shoot you again?
Mike: Hold that thought...
> As a means to confuse serious investigators as to his whereabouts,
>U.S. officials would!d report Mengele being a non-threatening, recluse
>in Paraguay or Brazil, or that he was simply dead (the "Angel of
>Death" miraculously must have come back to life at least five
>different times).
Tom: And you have knowledge of this because...?
Mike: Hey, I'm really sorry guys. I didn't mean to lose it back there.
Crow: S'okay. If it wasn't you who'd gone nuts, one of us would...
>His unprecedented research, at the expense of thousands of lives,
>undoubtedly was a significant bonus to U.S. interests,
>Besides using the pseudonym of Dr. Green, survivors knew him as
>Vaterchen (daddy),
Mike: I call you Big Daddy, you call me late for dinner...
> Schoner Josef (beautiful Joseph), David and Fairchild. A gracefully
>handsome man of slight stature, Mengele would disarm people with his
>gentle demeanor, while at other times, he would
Tom: ... dirty dance with Mussolini.
>explode into violent rages.[14] Other characteristics remembered by
>survivors were the cadence of his shiny black boots as he paced back
>and forth and his "I-love-you/l-love-you-not" daisy game.
Crow: Not often you see the sweet side of a homicidal madman...
> When he pulled off the last daisy petal, he would maliciously torture
>and kill a small child in front of the other child he was programming.
Mike: Oh, man, oh man oh man... (holds stomach in pain)
Tom: Tranquilizer reaction?
Crow: Pizza rolls, coffee, and a crappy post.
>Distraught survivors also recalled being thrown naked into cages with
>monkeys, who were trained to viciously abuse them. Evidently, Mengele
>enjoyed reducing people to the level of animals.
Tom: Just the same as making us read this piece of crap...
Crow: I just hope to god Bobo never hears about this.
Mike: (vomits)
Tom: Good job, Crow...
>He also would purposely restrain his victims from crying, screaming,
>or showing any excessive emotion.
> Dr. D. Ewen Cameron, also known as Dr. White, was the former head of
>the Canadian, American and World Psychiatric Associations. Because of
>Cameron's extensive experience and credentials,
Crow: ... they let him order lunch.
> the ClA's Allen Dulles funneled millions of dollars throughout
>organizations like the society for the Investigation of Human
>Ecology, which Cameron ruthlessly presided over. Experimentations
>were conducted at several locations in Montreal, mostly at McGill
>University, St Mary's Hospital and Allan Memorial Institute.
>
>Besides the conventional methods of psychiatric tyranny, such as
Tom: ... this post!
>electroshock drug injections and lobotomies, Cameron conceived the
>technique of "psychic driving," wherein unsuspecting patients were
>kept in a drug induced coma for several weeks
Crow: Mike's college years?
Tom: Sure, kick a man when he's down...
> and administered a regimen of electroshocks, while electronic helmets
>were strapped to their heads and repetitive auditory messages were
>transmitted at variable speeds.[15]
Tom: ... dumb and dumber.
>Many of those exploited were abused children which had been run
>through the Roman Catholic orphanage system.
Mike: (recovering) The rest of them grew up watching Howdy Doody...
Tom: You should take it easy, Mike...
Mike: No way! This guy's gettin' the *hell* riffed out of him!
Crow: 'Atta boy, Nelson! No mercy, no fear!
> Not surprisingly, Dr Cameron has been conveniently left out of most
>psychiatratic journals. This may have been, in fact, largely due to
Mike: ... that he claimed the Earth was shaped like a burrito...
> Project MKULTRA being publicly exposed in 1970, through lawsuits
>filed by Canadian survivors and their families. The CIA and Canadian
>government settled out of court so as not to be required to officially
>admit to any wrongdoing.
Tom: But that an old Canadian tradition! The CIA ripped it off!
> A former U.S. Army Lt. Col. in the DIA's Psychological War-fare
>Division, Michael Aquino, is the latest in a line of alleged
>government-sponsored sadists.
Crow: The other being the Internal Revenue Service...
> Aquino, an eccentric genius, founded the Temple of Set, an offshoot
>of Anton LaVey's Church of Satan.
Tom: Aquino also founded the Temple of Game and the Temple of Match.
>His obsession with Nazi pagan rituals and his hypnotic manipulation of
>people made him an ideal candidate for the position of "Master
>Programmer."
Mike: Despite the fact he couldn't work a VCR to save his life...
> Aquino was connected with the Presidio Army Base day care scandal, in
>which he was accused child molestation. Much to the dismay of the
>young victims' parents, all charges were dismissed.
Tom: You know, if all of this is so top secret, how did this guy find
so much out about it?
Crow: Don't send your classified documents through the mail in flimsy
envelopes!
Mike: Somehow, I can picture this guy working for the post office...
> Code-named "Malcolm", Aquino developed training tapes on how to
>create a MONARCH slave and worked as a liaison between Government/
>Military Intelligence and various criminal organizations and
>occult groups in the distribution of MONARCH slaves.[16]
Crow: "Military Intelligence"? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Tom: Not the only one around here...
> Heinrich Mueller was another important programmer who went under the
>code names "Dr. Blue" or "Gog."
Mike: (laughs) "Gog"? Did he wear glasses, perchance?
Tom: First it was Dr. White, then Dr. Green and now Dr. Blue?
Crow: Methinks, Patton's seen "Reservoir Dogs" one too many times...
> He apparently has two sons who have carried on the trade. The
>original "Dr. Black" was apparently Leo Wheeler, the nephew of
>deceased General Ear1e G. Wheeler, who was the commander of the Joint
>Chiefs of Staffs during the Vietnam War. Wheeler's protege, E. Hummel
>is active in the Northwest, along with W. Bowers (from the Rothschild
>bloodline).
Tom: Everyone still following along? Guys?
Mike: You need a flow chart for this post...
Crow: The way this guy writes, you'd need a flow chart for his
flowchart...
Mike: True, true...
> Other alleged master mind manipulators, past and present, are: Dr.
>Sydney Gottleib, Lt. Col John Alexander, Richard Dabney Anderson
>(USN), Dr. James Monroe, Dr. John Lilly, Lt. Comdr. Thomas Narut, Dr
>William Jennings Bryan,
Tom: YOU WILL NOT CRUCIFY MANKIND ON A CROSS OF GOLD!!!
Crow: YOU CANNOT PETITION THE LORD WITH PRAYER!!!
Mike: YOU MAY NOT HAVE THE SOUP WITH THE BUFFET!!!
> Dr. Bernard L. Diamond, Dr. Martin T. Orne, Dr. Louis J. West, Dr
>Robert J. Lifton, Dr. Harris Isbel and Col. Wilson Green
>In order to keep MKULTRA from being easily detected,
Crow: Like by guys with Internet access and way too much time on their
hands?
> the CLA segmented its subprojects into specialized fields of research
>and development at universities, prisons, private laboratories and
>hospitals Of course, they were rewarded generously with government
>grants and miscellaneous funding.
Tom: But really, what else is new?
>The names and locations of some of the major institutions involved in
>MONARCH programming experimentation were/are: Cornell, Duke,
>Princeton, UCLA, University of Rochester, MIT, Georgetown University
>Hospital, Maimonides Medical Center, St. Elizabeth's Hospital
>(Washington D.C.), Bell Laboratories, Stanford Research Institute,
>Westinghouse Friendship Laboratories, General Electric, ARCO and
>Manking Research Unlimited,
> The "final product" was/is usually created on military installations
>and bases, where maximum security is required.
Mike: Not enough apparently for this fella to find out about it...
> Referred to as (re)programming centers or near-death trauma centers,
>the most heavily identified are: China Lake Naval Weapons Center, The
>Presidio, Ft. Dietrick, Ft. Campbell, Ft. Lewis, Ft. Hood, Redstone
>Arsenal, Offutt AFB, Patrick AFB, McClellan AFB, MacGill AFB, Kirkland
>AFB, Nellis AFB, Homestead AFB, Grissom AFB, Maxwell AFB
Crow: ...Sleepy AFB, Dopey AFB, Sneezy AFB, Bashful AFB, Grumpy AFB, Doc
AFB, Happy AFB...
>and Tinker
Mike: AHHH! Oh, wait, *tinker*, not *Thinker*...
>AFB Other places recognized as major programming sites are Langley
>Research Center, Los Alamos National Laboratories, Tavistock Institute
>and areas in or by Mt. Shasta, CA, Lampe, MO and Las Vegas, NV.
Tom: Las Vegas. Trauma. First connection he's made that makes sense.
>Notable Names
> One of the first documented cases of a MONARCH secret agent was that
>of the voluptuous 1940's model, Candy Jones. The book, The Control of
>Candy Jones, (Playboy Press) portrays her 12 years of intrigue and
>suspense as a spy for the CIA. Jones, whose birth name is Jessica
>Wilcox,
Crow: I will not say it, I will not say it, I will NOT say it...
Mike: Good boy.
> apparently fit the physiological profile as to be one of the initial
>experiments or human guinea pigs under the government's "scientific"
>project, MKULTRA.
> The most publicized case of MONARCH monomania has surfaced through
>the book TRANCE Formation of America: The True Life Story of a ClA
>Slave by Cathy O'Brien. On the back cover it emphatically states,
>"Cathy O'Brien is the only vocal and recovered survivor of the Central
>Intelligence Agency's MKULTRA Project Monarch mind control operation"
Mike: So, escape the CIA, advertise you're still alive. Okaaay...
>This documented autobiography contains compelling accounts of
>O'Brien's years of unrelenting incest and eventual introduction into
>Project MONARCH by her perverted father. Along with co-author Mark
>PhiIlips, her rescuer and deprogrammer, Cathy covers an almost
>unbelievable array of conspiratorial crime:
Crow: You got that right...
Tom: What does he mean, "almost"?
> forced prostitution (white slavery) with those in the upper echelons
>of world politics, covert assignments as a "drug mule" and courier,
>and the country-western music industry's relationship with illegal CIA
>activities.
All: WHAT?!?
Tom: Walt Disney, Stephen King, and Hank Williams. Total Evil.
Crow: Yes, total, of course...
> Paul Bonaci a courageous survivor who endured almost two decades of
>degradation under Project MONARCH, has disclosed strong corroborating
>evidence of widescale crimes and corruption from the municipal/state
>level all the way up to the White House.[17]
Crow: Well, that's news for ya!
Mike: Tell us something we *don't* know...
> He has testified about sexually-abused males selected from Boy's Town
>in Nebraska and taken to nearby Offut AFB, where he says they were
>subjected to intense MONARCH programming, directed mainly by Commander
>Bill Plemmons and former Lt. Col. Michael Aquino.[18] After thoroughly
>tormenting the young boys into mindless oblivion, they were used
>(along with girls) for pornography and prostitution with several of
>the nation's political and economic power brokers. Bonnaci recalled
Mike: ... ditty-squat.
>being transported from the Air Force base via cargo planes to
>McClelland AFB in California. Along with other unfortunate adolescents
>and teenagers, he was driven to the elite retreat, Bohemian Grove. The
>perpetrators took full advantage of these innocent victims, committing
>unthinkable perversions in order to satisfy their deviant lusts. Some
>victims were apparently murdered, further traumatizing already
>terrified and broken children.
> An insuitable actress of marginal talent (now deceased), a
morally->corrupt T.V. evangelist, a heralded former Green Beret officer and
a >popular country-western singer are a few others likely having succumbed
>to MONARCH madness.
Tom: It's MONARCH MADNESS days at Mynards!!!
> Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan-Sirhan, Charlie Manson, John Hinckley Jr.,
>Mark Chapman, David Koresh, Tim McVeigh and John Salvi are some
>notable names of infamy, strongly suspected of being pawns who were
>spawned by MKULTRA.
>
>Deprogrammers and Exposers
Crow: Ewww!
> Dr. Corydon Hammond, a Psychologist from the University of Utah,
>delivered a stunning lecture entitled "Hypnosis in MPD: Ritual Abuse"
>at the Fourth Annual Eastern Regional Conference on Abuse and Multiple
>Personality, June 25, 1992 in Alexandria, Virginia. He essentially
>confirmed the suspicions of the attentive crowd of mental health
>professionals, wherein a certain percentage of their clients had
Mike: ... A strange reaction to Disney cartoons.
>undergone mind control programming in an intensively systematic
>manner. Hammond alluded to the Nazi connection, military and CIA mind
>control research, Greek letter and color programming and specifically
>mentioned the '~Monarch Project" in relation to a form of operative
>conditioning.
Tom: I'd rather take the air conditioning, myself.
> Shortly after his ground breaking speech, he received death threats.
>Not wanting to jeopardize the safety of his family, Dr. Hammond
>stopped disseminating any follow-up information, until recently.
> Mark Phillips, a former electronics subcontractor for the Department
>of Defense, was privy to some of the top secret mind control
>activities perpetrated by the U.S. government. His inquisitive
>demeanor, strong conscience and heart-felt concern for Cathy O'Brien,
>a "Presidential Model'
Crow: Monica Lewinsky?
Tom: Crow...
Crow: That's Mike's line, Tom.
> under Project MONARCH, prompted him to reveal the inner-workings of
>this grand deception beginning about 1991. As the story goes, he
>helped Ms. O'Brien escape from her captors and was able to deprogram
>her in about a years time in Alaska. The controversial Phillips has
>his share of critics who are skeptical of the veracity of his claims.
Mike: Everyone else...
Tom: Except Ron Patton...
>New Orleans therapist Valerie Wolf introduced two of her patients
>before the President's Committee on Human Radiation Experiments on
>March 15, 1995 in Washington D.C. The astonishing testimony made by
>these two brave women included accounts of German doctors, torture,
>drugs, electroshock, hypnosis and rape,
Mike: So, where does the radiation fit in?
>besides being exposed to an undetermined amount of radiation.
Mike: Ah.
> Both Wolf and her patients stated they recovered the memories of this
>CIA program without regression or hypnosis techniques.[19] Wolf
>presently devotes much of her time to counseling such survivors. A
>former labor attorney for Atlantic Richfield Co., David E. Rosenbaum,
>conducted a nine year investigation (1983-1992) concerning allegations
>of physical torture and coercive conditioning
Crow: ... like, reading this post.
> of numerous employees at an ARCO plant in Monaca, PA.[20] His clients,
>Jerry L. Dotey and Ann White, were victims of apparent radiation exposure;
>but as Mr. Rosenbaum probed deeper in the subsequent interview sessions,
>a "Pandora's Box" was unveiled. His most astonishing conclusion was that
Tom: ... butter is fattening and Disney is evil.
>Jerry Dotey and Ann White were likely the off-spring of Adolf Hitler,
>based in part on the uncanny resemblance from photos (facial features;
>bone structure and size were taken into consideration). Rosenbaum also
>states, "They both exhibit feelings and experiences that indicate they
>are twins." Dotey and White were allegedly subjected to torture of
>many kinds while under drug induced hypnosis, with each one undergoing
>at least three training techniques by plant physicians.
Mike: It was an evil plant, EVIL!
> Each victim was trained to enter into a hypnotic state upon the
>occurrence of specific stimuli, usually involving a "cue" word or
>phrase and trained to "remember to forget" what transpired in the
>hypnotic state.
Crow: Zzzz...
Tom: We lost Crow...
Crow: (waking up) Huh? Oh, is it *still* on?
Mike: Hang tight. We're almost there...
>They were repeatedly subjected to identical stimulus-response
>sequence, to produce nearly automatic reactions to the particular
>status. MKULTRA veteran, Dr. Bernard Diamond, Dr. Martin Orne and Dr.
>Josef Mengele regularly visited the ARCO plant, according to
>Rosenbaum. The special conditioning of Dotey and White was intended
>for the artificial creation of dual German personalities. Rosenbaum,
>who is Jewish, has maintained a deep friendship with the two, despite
Mike: ... the fact he hated their guts...
>the seemingly precarious circumstances. Other renowned therapists
>involved in deprogramming are Cynthia Byrtus, Pamela Monday, Steve
>Ogilvie, Bennett Braun, Jerry Mungadze and Colin Ross. Some Christian
>counselors have been able to eliminate parts of the programming with
>limited success. Journalists who have recently expounded on the
>subject matter in exemplary fashion are Walter Bowart, Operation Mind
>Control, Jon Rappoport, U.S. Government Mind-Control Experiments on
>Children and Alex Constantine, Psychic Dictatorship In The USA
>
>Conclusion
All: YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAA!!!!!
Crow: (starts head-banging)
> The most incriminating statement to date made by a government
>official as to the possible existence of Project MONARCH was extracted
>by Anton Chaitkin, a writer for the publication, The New Federalist. When
>former CIA Director William Colby was asked directly, "What about
>monarch?" he replied angrily and ambiguously,
Mike: ... "There are no butterflies by that name!"
> "We stopped that between the late 1960's and the early 1970's."
> Suffice to say that society, in its apparent state of cognitive
>dissonance, is generally in denial of the over whelming evidence of
>this multifarious conspiracy. Numerous victims/ survivors of Project
>MONARCH are in desperate need of help. However, the great majority of
>people are too preoccupied with themselves to show any genuine
Tom: ... stuff.
>compassion toward these severely wounded individuals. Apathy has taken
>over the minds of the masses, who choose to exist within the comforts
>of this world. Reality has thus become obscured by relativism and
>selfishness.
Crow: Oh! A "behind the scenes look" into the making of this post!
> Although there has been some progress in deprogramming and
>reintegrating therapies, a much greater problem needs to be rectified.
>The Holy Bible addresses this problem as the fragmentation of the soul
>(Ezekiel 13:20). A spiritual restoration is what is truly needed
>(Psalm 23:3) but can only take place by completely trusting in Jesus
>Christ as the way to salvation (John 3:16; I Peter 3:18) and
>deliverance from demonic oppression and/or possession (Mark 16:17).
Mike: He forgets to mention Austin 3:16
Crow: Ah, yes...
> The true humility of Christ and the love of God effectively counters
>the pride and hatred of Satan. Statistically, the road to recovery for
>these survivors of unimaginable depravity is a long and tedious one,
>but God is the ultimate healer and only within his time, through His
>strength and by His grace, can the captives be set free (Isaiah 61:1).
>
>Endnotes
Tom: Oh, endnotes. Not footnotes.
Mike: Whaaaaatever...
> 1. David L. Carrico, The Egyptian Masonic Satanic Connection, 1992
> 2. Walter H. Bowart, Operation Mind Control, Flatland Editions,
>1994, p. 216
> 3. Martin Cannon, Mind Control and the American Government,
>Prevailing Winds Research, 1994, p. 19
> 4. Linda Hunt, Secret Agenda, St. Martin's Press, 1991
Crow: Linda Hunt? NOOOOO!!!
> 5. Final Report of the Select Committee to Study Governmental
>Operations, U.S. Senate, April 1976, p. 337
> 6. Ibid, p. 390
> 7. John Marks, The Search For The Manchurian Candidate, Times
>Books, 1979, pp 60-61
Mike: Almost there...
> 8. Final Report of the Select Committee to Study Governmental
>Operations, U.S. Senate, April 1976, p. 391
> 9. Mark Phillips and Cathy O'Brien, Project Monarch, 1993
> 10. Barbara G. Walker, The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred
>Objects, Harper Collins, 1988
> 11. Marshall Cavendish, Man, Myth and Magic, 1995
> 12. Dr. Corydon Hammond, The Greenbaum Speech, 1992; Mark Phillips
>and Cathy O'Brien, Project Monarch Programming Definitions, 1993
> 13. Gerald L. Posner, Mengele: The Complete Story, McGraw-Hill,
>1986
Crow: Come on, END!
> 14. Lucette Matalon Lagnado, Dr. Josef Mengele and the Untold Story
>of the Twins of Auschwitz, Morrow, 1991
> 15. Gordon Thomas, Journey into Madness: The True Story of Secret
>CIA Mind Control and Medical Abuse, Bantam Books, 1989
> 16. Cathy O'Brien and Mark Phillips, Trance Formation of America,
>1995
> 17. John DeCamp, The Franklin Cover-Up, Child Abuse, Satanism and
>Murder in Nebraska, AWT Inc, 1992
All: END!!!
Tom: We don't like you! Go away!
> 18. Anton Chaitkin, "Franklin Witnesses Implicate FBI and U.S.
>Elites in Torture and Murder of Children", The New Federalist, 1993
> 19. Jon Rappoport, "CIA Experiments with Mind Control on Children",
>Perceptions Magazine, September/October 1995, p. 56
> 20. David E. Rosenbaum, Esq., First Draft Overview of Investigation
>of the Group, 1983-1993
>-----
>- fini -
Tom: YES!!!
Mike: There is a God...
Crow: Oh, merciful one...
>~~~
>This PGP signature only certifies the sender and date of the message.
>It implies no approval from the administrators (ad...@nym.alias.net).
>Date: Wed Oct 23 22:29:07 1996 GMT
>From: stuf...@nym.alias.net
Mike: (picks up Tom) No approval from us, either...
Tom: Stuff 'em. From the makers of Stuff It...
[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Bridge]
Tom Servo, with pointer in hand (somehow), directed everyone's attention to
a hastily drawn flowchart that was hanging on the theater door. "Now, does
anyone have any questions?"
Crow shot his hand up as far as it would go. "Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! I
got questions and stuff!"
Tom, sighing, pointed at Crow. "Yes, young man?"
"Could you go over it one more time? Please? I just might care this time!
Honest!"
"Alright, just this once." Tom started to point at various places around
the chart. "Walt Disney, Stephen King, and Dolly Parton are in league with
Satan. The combined might of the U.S. Government along with Germany and
England is trying to use brain control so they don't have to explain where
our tax dollars go. And by using drugs, sex, Rock 'n' Roll, and "Pep-o-mint"
Lifesavers to keep the victims/ losers in check, the forces of Darkness will
rule the world!!!
"And you found this out from...?"
"Uh... Umm... Ahh... Look over there!"
"Huh?" Crow looked over his shoulder and turned back just in time to see
Servo disappear below decks. "Oh, well..."
Mike, who was playing an engaging game of Crazy Eights with Gypsy, looked
up, pushed the responder, and said, "Pearl's calling."
[Winged Microbus of Doom]
Pearl was back behind the wheel. She looked into the camera. "Well,
Nell-bell, you would not *believe* how watching other people's suffering can
do so much to make one feel better. Thanks!" she beamed.
The Observer spoke up from the back, over sounds of simian groaning.
"Pearl, I'm afraid Bobo has caught your flu..."
"That's too bad, Brain-ball..."
"And he requires a sponge bath."
"Oh... Bleck!"
[SOL Bridge]
Mike, Tom, and Crow were looking into Cambot, watching the unfolding
events on the Microbus of Doom with sadistic glee. She was right-- they
*did*
feel better...
[Fade to Black]
[Credits]
The Not-So-Placid Jack Acid writes:
I hope you enjoyed my first MSTing! It is my plan to write future ones as a
series, so stay tuned as events warrant. I might just be crazy enough to
pull it off, too...
Comments and critique are most welcome; I would be a hypocrite if they were
not.
Mail me at: jack...@yahoo.com
Again, I do not mean to insult the author, but only to make light of this
post. This MSTing is meant as satire and is not to be taken seriously,
unlike someone else I'm thinking of. I can't help it, sadly, because I too
am a victim of Monarch programming. I have been afflicted by the little
known SIGMA conditioning, in which I was dropped on my head immediately
after birth, and I am forever compelled to make fun of mediocrity. So sue
me. ;)
Jack Acid
Special Thanks to:
Megane 6.7, for getting me on this MSTing kick. He also helped me see a
couple of riffs I missed the first time around. See what he's all about at
http://www.winnipeg.freenet.mb.ca/~cto427/megane.htm
Megane's inspiration comes from Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings, at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/4007/MSTings.html. Check out the
"Shrine o' Oscar" (of "oscarfic" fame), but do so at your own risk. ;}
Website #9's guidelines to Usenet MSTings. It came in handy...
Best Brains, for screwing up my childhood (but in a good way) from age
eleven up to today, at eighteen. Keep up the good work, and please don't
ever go away again...
After all, Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and
situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved, I wouldn't have it any other way! Use here is for entertainment
purposes only and no violation of copyright is intended or should be
inferred, so help me God.
Keep Circulating the Posts...
>In August 1951, Project BLUE BIRD was renamed Project ARTICHOKE,
All: (snicker)
Mike: Project BROCCOLI didn't get out of the sub-committee...