[MSTing] Nightmusic [R][MIKE][lime][1/1]
Silas Janzen
********************************************************************
I tilled that
soil 'till my callouses had callouses
MIKE (Eric Idle): And my callouses' callouses' callouses!
but the little
bitters
MIKE: Bitter? She's making beer?
won't grow for the life of me!"
Redlance smiled as he rose from the ground.
CROW (Snickers)
He
brushed off his hands before extending one to the
healer.
TOM: Him too?
"What's up?"
MIKE (Marvin the Paranoid Android): I wouldn't know. I've never been
there.
"Cutter! What do I do with him?" she begged as they
walked aimlessly through the village.
CROW: Oh, now SHE'S acting clueless too!
"Show him what he's missing spending all his time
with us!" he explained with a shrug. "He forgets he's
someone's mate, I think.
CROW: FINALLY! SOMEONE figures it out! Geez!
MIKE: Crow, do you really WANT them to figure it out?
CROW: Uh...
Nightfall noticed how sad you
are when he's not around so Pike got him woozy with
Dreamberries last night
MIKE: Not a WORD, you two...
CROW: But Miiike!
and he passed out. Then at
dawn, between Skywise, Scouter, Dewshine and
Treestump, they had him bound and gagged before his
head cleared enough for him to know what happened to
him!
CROW: So they did this to Nightfall?
MIKE: No, I think they did it to Cutter.
TOM: They might have done Cutter afterwards...
CROW: I'm so confused...
After that, Nightfall and I borrowed several
lengths of cloth from Shenshen and bound him in them
as sort of a gift.
CROW: You know...this is starting to sound like a bondage fic...
(there is a short pause)
ALL: GAAAAAH!!
We'd have used leather but
CROW (Redlance): We...ah-heh...needed it.
then he
could not have been able to breath.
MIKE: Um, So "completely covering" Cutter DOESN'T suffocate him, but
leather does?
CROW: I give up.
You know the
rest."
"Lovely, so now he's my captive..." Leetah murmured
sarcastically.
TOM & MIKE: (Make alarm noises)
CROW: Bondage alert! Bondage alert!
"Serves him right, hey?" Redlance winked with a huge
grin on his wide face.
CROW (British): Wink wink, Nudge nudge, know what I mean!
She looked up at him with eyes that echoed the color
of his and smiled. "But now that he's mine to play
with as I choose,
MIKE (Leetah): What game should I play? Cards, dice...
CROW: ...Twister...
how do I care for him?
CROW: Well, see, you take off your clothes...
He must
eat...!"
"I have just the solution for that problem!" Redlance
replied with a mysterious smile.
MIKE (Blackadder): A smile so mysterious you could put a plaid hat on it
and call it Sherlock Holmes.
TBC
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free!
http://photos.yahoo.com/
Nightmusic, Part 3
When Redlance finally finished helping the healer
find foods he thought Cutter would appreciate,
they
parted company with a warm embrace made awkward by the
whicker platter in Leetah's arms.
CROW: So why doesn't she...oh, i don't know...PUT IT DOWN??!!
With a rueful grin, she balanced it on her belly for
a moment.
CROW: WHAT?! Hey, wait just one minute! She's PREGNANT!? Okay, I think
the author is failing to realize some things, one being that she
wouldn't really be able to move around that much, and secondly, WHY THE
HELL HASN'T ANYBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?!
Then, she realised that soon enough she
would REALLY be forced to balance things upon it for
lack of room in front!
TOM: Well, that makes a lot of...HUH?!
She shook her head and headed
down the paths to her her hut.
CROW: Paths, plural? How do you do that?
MIKE: Maybe it has something to do with her ability to "stretch out"
limbs...
As she approached it, something made her pause and
look up.
TOM: Suddenly, an anvil fell on her head, killing her instantly.
MIKE: This isn't a Warner Brothers cartoon, Tom...
Leetah had not been aware that so much time
had passed!
CROW: Ah, I see this author is from the Exclamation-Point school of
drama...
MIKE: Thrill! As Leetah looses track of time!!! Shock! As Redlance and
Leetah look Cutter's dinner!!!
Already the sun had dipped below the
greater of the two horns of the Bridge of Destiny and
its shadow had fallen across the hut and its path,
casting her in the dimmed light.
TOM (Sun): Okay, we're going to need you to say that line again, only a
bit louder...
With a wistful sigh,
she recalled the night she and
Cutter first joined.
CROW:...Literally...
Arrogantly, she assumed he would
uproot his whole existance to blend himself seamlessly
into Sunfolk ways, much as Woodlock and Rainsong had.
On the contrary, he acted much as he had before
except that he frequently came down from the mountain
caves to hold her briefly. But those embraces were
brief
CROW: The redundant redundancy is annoying me so much, It's getting to
me...I feel exasperatedly exasperated...
and always he would scamper back up the rocky
trails with youthful enthusiasm and his wolf by his
side.
MIKE: His enthusiasm has a physical form?
CROW: Yeah, but it's usually between his legs.
She wished it were SHE who walked by his side...
CROW: As opposed to his (snicker) enthusiasm?
TOM: No, I think she'd like to (giggles) keep that.
MIKE: Guys...
But why not? Why should she expect HIM to make all
of the sacrifices? Perhaps she must step carefully and
take more worn paths
TOM: Two paths diverged in a wood and I, I took the one more travelled
by...but of course she shouldn't be TRAVELLING AT ALL, because she's
FUGGING _PREGNANT_! Jesus!
because of the life dwelling
inside her but she, too, must learn cooperation as
well!
CROW (Cutter): Leetah? Could you help move this stone? It's kind of
crushing my spine.
TOM (Leetah): Not now! I'm trying to learn cooperation! Now where'd I
put that dictionary...
But could Cutter reciprcate if she gave something
up?
MIKE: Like her inhibitions?
CROW: Boy, i bet there'd be some MAJOR reciprocatin' going down THEN,
lemme tell ya! Rrrowl!
MIKE: Down, boy.
Would he?
MIKE: Eat green eggs and ham?
"Hiya! Where you going with the goodies?" chirped a
friendly voice.
CROW (Leetah): The ones on the tray, or the ones under my--
MIKE: That's quite enough.
Leetah half leaped out of her skin
MIKE (wincing): Yowch...
TOM (Leetah): Got a bandaid?
and had to
balance the platter on the curve of her belly to keep
it from falling.
"Hello, Skywise."
"Can I carry it for you? It looks awkward if not a
bit heavy. You shouldn't be carrying anything..." he
said with a raised eyebrow
CROW: My GOD! Skywise has turned into a Vulcan!
and a long and deliberate
glance at her swollen abdomen.
CROW (Opens his mouth, but Mike grabs it)
MIKE: This isn't "Legend of the Overfiend", Crow.
CROW (Opens his mouth again)
MIKE: Nor is it "Alien"!
Before she could reply,
the sly Wolfrider's deft hands quickly
CROW (Snickers)
swiped the
platter from her grasp.
"So! Did you like our 'gift'?" He wore his sly
fox-grin from his nose to his toes
CROW: Wow, cool! I can see his stomach.
MIKE (Pauses, and then is violently sick)
CROW: Heh.
MIKE (Gets off the floor): I hate you.
CROW: I try...
and Leetah had to
smile as well. The star-gazer's grins were, she hated
to admit, infectious.
MIKE: Yes, I would certainly describe a full-body grin as
infectious...among other things.
"Yes... But still, I do not know what to do with
him..."
CROW (Hugh Laurie): Look, I may be as thick as a whale omelette...
MIKE: Okay, I think we've used up our Blackadder quota now...
Slowly, they walked torwards the beaded
curtain of her hut's entry.
Skywise's grin became, if possible, even more sly as
he slowly purred,
MIKE (Skywise): Are you a complete MORON?!
"Anything you like...!"
TOM (Skywise): Here, I'll demonstrate...
She blushed as she took back the platter. She was
stunned for a moment because, as a healer, love-making
and love-playing
CROW: Not to mention love-hating, love-working,
love-kissing--(Gasps)--love-walking, love-talking...
MIKE: Okay, we get the point.
were hardly things for one such as
she to blush about!
CROW: Uh...what?
MIKE: My god, it's PAINFUL...
Skywise saw the change in coloration and
TOM: ...Checked it off on his list.
MIKE: He was hoping to win a nobel prize for a report on wolfrider
pigmentation.
smirked.
"Cutter doesn't realise just how good he's got it with you!
If you were MY life-mate, neither one of us would
EVER leave your hut! Too many fun things to do!
CROW: Ladies and gentlemen, "Sugar Daddy" Skywise.
Sometimes Cutter's bone-headed
TOM: Sometimes?
CROW: You DIE, Servo...
MIKE: Guys, let's not start this again...
and he can't see the
obvious answers for the truth right in front of him.
CROW: Two very large and soft obvious answers...
Sometimes you have to bash his head in to get him to
see straight. Trust me... I know him.
CROW (Skywise): Quite fondly, in fact.
If this doesn't
work, I'll bash his head in myself and then I'll set
my sights on you if he doesn't!"
CROW: Again, that's "Sugar Daddy" Skywise. Moan for him by name.
TOM (Snickers)
"Thankyou, my friend. I hope we can come to a
compromise but if, by Wolfsong tonight, he does not
learn the lesson you and the rest of your tribe are
trying to teach,
MIKE: "1 plus 1 equals sex."
then I will set him free and allow
him to live as he pleases." She placed her hand on the
curtain and cast her eyes to the ground.
MIKE (Leetah): Oh, there's that pesky stain again...
Skywise gently placed his thumb and forfinger on her
chin and lifted it up so that her leaf-green eyes
could meet his silver eyes.
CROW: "Sugar Daddy" Sky--
MIKE: I think you need to stop that.
His expression was serious
CROW: His outfit was not.
TOM: Yeah, I've never really understood the point of that head thing he
wears...
as he murmured, "You are dear to me because he is dear
to me.
CROW: I'm not going to touch this one.
I won't let either one of you get hurt--- Not
even by eachother." With that said, he quickly smiled
again and winked.
MIKE: Boy, he sure does that alot, doesn't he?
He gestured with his chin to the
door and said,
CROW (Skywise): Would you mind getting me some glue? My chin kinda fell
off.
"Well, go on! I bet he's starved! We
didn't exactly remember to feed him earlier."
MIKE: It kind of slipped our minds. What with all the treachery and
everything.
Smiling now, Leetah hoisted the platter to her hip
and stepped inside the hut.
TBC
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free!
http://photos.yahoo.com/
Nightmusic, Part 4
CROW: Two parts to go, guys....
High up in the caves and hiding spots of the
mountains encircling the village,
CROW: The Grinch was happily whiling away his years, forever free of
Christmas cheer.
the wolfriders lay
back and stretched as the sun sank to the ground.
Skywise climed the path to the Howling Place and stood
before a number of his tribe who were now rubbing the
sleep from their eyes.
CROW (Random wolfrider): Damn...got any Windex?
Dewshine smiled in greeting and Pike smirked then
gave the Stargazer a jovial pop on the arm with his
fist.
CROW: It's Pop-a-'rider!
TOM (Makes popping noise)
MIKE: Dewshine! *WHAM!*
"Well, how's Cutter?"
CROW (Skywise): Well, he's about yay tall...blond hair...
"I'm not sure... In good hands, I think. VERY good
hands...!" Skywise replied.
MIKE: What?! No wink?! No grin?!...I feel cheated.
**You should have left him alone!** came the low,
dark-tinged Send.
MIKE (Gasps theatrically): It's Winnowill!
TOM (Winnowill): He's mine, I tell you, MINE!!
"Strongbow, please! You know how bad Cutter is!"
"And you've seen how sad Leetah's been!" Dewshine
added.
CROW: Cutter's bad...Leetah's sad...Cutter's bad...Hey!
ALL (Chanting): Cutter's bad, Leetah's sad, Bad and sad! sad and bad!
CROW (by himself): And they're both having seeeeeeeeeex!
MIKE: Hentai...
"Aye, she needs him right now, more than anyone."
CROW: Surely not more than (dramatic pause) "Sugar Daddy" Skywise?!
Clearbrook said with a smile as she came to stand by
Skywise.
MIKE (Singing): Stand by meeeeeeeee....
CROW: Mike?
MIKE: Yes?
CROW: Never, ever do that again.
**What do you know? He would have come around
eventually--- Or not! It's his choice!
CROW: Hey...look! Someone is actually acting in character!
ALL (Cheer)
And you have no
right to force it on him if he doesn't choose to be
with her!** Strongbow seethed anger at them
CROW (Strongbow, abnormally high pitched): Anger seethe power! Make up!!
then
turned his back to them when Moonshade came to her
life-mate's side.
"But he DID choose to be with her! He's just never
felt very deeply about any one person so he dose'nt
know how to behave," Skywise explained.
MIKE: _WHAT?!_ JUST WHO _THE HELL_ IMPREGNATED LEETAH IN THE _FIRST_
PLACE?!
CROW: Maybe it was the Overfiend.
MIKE: Don't you start, now.
**But that doesn't mean he has to live like and be
like those rabbits!**
MIKE (Random wolfrider): What rabbits?
CROW (another random wolfrider): You mean those ones, in the bush?
(There is a pause)
ALL (wolfriders): Eeeeeeeeewww...
"RABBITS?!"
CROW (Scottish): I'm telling you, It's a killer! Look at the bones!
Nightfall shouted at him. "Do you call
Redlance and I RABBITS?! What about Woodlock and
Rainsong? Or Dewshine? Even Moonshade has learned to
work with the Sun-folk's fabrics!"
CROW: So apparrently rabbits are very skilled tailors.
MIKE: Maybe in Redwall...
ALL: Oh, GOD, I'm so CONFUSED!
TOM: Wow, creepy.
Strongbow cast his guilty mate a whithering glance
but held his thoughts--- and his toungue.
MIKE (Strongbow, holding toungue): Uuuuhh! Bleeeh!
"You miss the old ways, Lad." Treestump said as he
placed a firm hand on the Archer's lean shoulder.
MIKE (Treestump): Why, when I was your age...
"I
understand. We all do! But we have to try to work with
them and if that means forcin' Cutter to open 'is eyes
on occasion, then so be it! We'll do it!"
CROW (Treestump): We'll use a crowbar if neccessary!
"Redlance should never have run off on his own..."
Strongbow growled after a long pause.
TOM: This is like "The Council of Elrond" from HELL. God...
"Oh! So now all this is MY fault!" Redlance
bristled.
MIKE (Mimes pricking his finger): Ow!
"Well, if it is then I am glad because,
thanks to everything that happened, I have my magic!
CROW: Redlance *IS* Saruman the white...
Thanks to Leetah, I have my life! So if I had it all
to do over again, knowing what I know now, I'd do it!
Gladly!"
MIKE: Do what? Screw? Run off? Act like rabbits? WHAT?!!?!
TOM (Starts shaking wildly)
Dewshine looked over the edge of the cliff and
sighed. "I just hope what we did helps."
CROW: Never mind if it HELPS or not, just what the HELL was the FUGGING
POINT of this?!?!
"Well, if he comes back alone, we'll know." One-Eye
said sadly.
"On the other hand, if he does'nt come back at all,
we'll also know!" Skywise said cheerfully.
TBC
(Relax, Donna! You work too hard!)
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Photos - 35mm Quality Prints, Now Get 15 Free!
http://photos.yahoo.com/
Nightmusic, part.... Ah... I forget...Steamy stuff here!
CROW: You know...hot water, boiled vegetables, that type of thing...
MIKE: I'm pretty sure that's not what the author meant...
Note: Some parts may get steamy but I'll keep it
tastefull.
MIKE (author): I've got this special sauce, see!
*******************************************************
Leetah carefully put up the platter and the remains
of the feast she'd collected for her Life-Mate. Cutter
leaned back and smiled. He was still bound but
founself enjoying it, surprisingly enough!
MIKE: Strange, I never took Cutter for a masochist...
(There is a pause)
ALL: GAAAAHHH!!! IT _IS_ BONDAGE! KAMI-SAMA HELP US ALL!!
He found
himself loving her company, the way she smiled, the
way her hips swayed beneath her dress.
CROW: ...The way she handled her whip...
MIKE (head in hands): Crow, you're not making this any easier...
Skywise was
right! She really was the most beautiful maiden in the
village.
CROW (Leetah): WAAAAI! Leetah-chan is the prettiest maiden in the
WHOOOOOOOOLE village!!
TOM: Uhm, technically, if she's _PREGNANT_, she's not really a maiden.
And miraculously, she was his...
MIKE: And disgustingly, Mike is barfing... (Collapses. Wretching issues
from the floor before he surfaces again)
And he was her's and what was most astonishing is...
She liked it that way!
CROW: My god...Elfquest S&M...
MIKE (Shudders visibly)
TOM (Smokes slightly)
The healer came back to him and poured some more of
the sweet cactus juice down his throat. Some of it
dribbled down his chin and onto his chest. Feeling the
heat of day pressing down on her,
CROW: She's in heat! Get it?
MIKE: Yes. Unfortunately.
Leetah leaned
forward and drank from his skin what she'd spilled.
TOM: Drank...Drank...Leetah's a vampire?
MIKE (Leetah): Blood...
TOM (Cutter): Cactus Juice! Uh...OWW!
Then, she sat up and pulled the gown up over her
shoulders and threw it aside.
CROW: Oh, God, no...
MIKE: Crow, I'm suprised!
CROW: Mike, she's PREGNANT!
MIKE: True.
Highones, she was lovely. The red sunset lanced
through her window,
highlighting the curve of her
breasts, the sheen of sweat on her skin. Her belly was
round and compact and large for the number of moons
along she was in her pregnancy.
CROW: RIGHT!! WHICH MEANS, SHE SHOULD NOT BE THIS ACTIVE!!
MIKE: Give it up, Crow.
He yearned to touch
her...
She leaned closer, a bare breast pressed against his
arm. Her fingers traced patterns across his belly,
below his naval
CROW:...tatoo...
MIKE: Cutter _IS_ Popeye!
and stopped their downward pattern
just before she could touch anything much lower. Since
he had been delivered to her naked,
MIKE: He was wearing no clothes. Go figure.
his need for her
was quite... Obvious.
ALL (Groan)
"Listen, beloved..." She whispered, "When the
Nightmusic fills the air and the wolves' voices echo
in the dark, I will set you free. Untill then, you are
mine! Understood?"
CROW (Cutter): I got you as far as "Listen, Beloved..."
He nodded.
ALL (Shake their heads vigourously)
Then he watched the healer rise from her
bed and then, with sinuous grace,
MIKE: --Ran out of her hut, screaming.
she began to dance.
MIKE: She needed to practice for that big DDR match.
TOM (Leetah): Up arrow...right...left...damn. Right...left...
She danced as he'd never seen ANYbody dance before!
CROW: She was the lord...uh, mistress of the dance!
MIKE: Please don't use the word "mistress" in this context, Crow.
CROW: Oh, sorry.
Every curve of her body seemed emphasised by the
movement. She raised tiny metal cymbols
MIKE (Leetah): A Thousand cymbals attack!!
CROW: The Ranma 1/2 Fic was FIRST, Mike.
MIKE: ...meh.
and chimed
them to her moves. She whirled a sheer scarf round and
round about her naked body. Her dance radiated
sexuality and sensuality.
CROW: And other words starting with "s"'s.
As the sun faded away, the cold of night crept in and
her body responded with delight at the chill touch.
Her breasts were firm, nipples hard and her lips
parted in a delicious smile. Leetah danced to him,
played the scarf over his body, across his groin.
Cutter gasped with the power of his need.
MIKE (Badly dubbed kung-fu voice): FEEL THE RAGING POWER OF MY NEED!!!
TOM: I don't think I can take any more of this...
MIKE: Agreed. Let's skip it.
(Mike closes his eyes. The bots look away.)
(a pause)
MIKE (Peeks): Okay. It's safe .
**Tam... TAM...! I... Need you!**
CROW (Shatner): Spock!
she Sent. Just
then, a sound filled the air. She lifted her head and
listened to sound of wolves and elves howling. Then,
she sighed and rolled off of him to curl up beside
him.
CROW (Leetah): I think I've just experienced the most pointless sex
scene of my life...I feel empty.
"I must let you go now. Sit up so that I may cut your
bonds."
TOM (Cutter): Ow! Ow! Not the hands!
MIKE: Feeling better?
TOM: A bit.
MIKE Glad to hear it.
He smiled and watched her retrive her knife.
CROW (Cutter): Cut me, Leetah! Cut me!
MIKE: Heh...
When she had her back to him, he then reached out with
unbound hands and pulled her to him. She gasped and
struggled to face him.
"Let me go? I thought you wanted me to stay! I
thought I was 'yours'!" he laughed.
MIKE (Cutter): Ha. Ha. Ha. Now let me out fo this fic, dammit!
TOM (Cutter, a la George Jetson): Leetaaah, stop this crazy thiiiing!!
"H-How long have you been loose?!" She exclaimed.
"Since before you fed me supper," he shrugged.
She wanted to hit him. He'd been playing a game with
her the whole time and she never knew. "You could have
left at any time but yet, you did not. Why?"
CROW: She was _SCREWING_ him!! Unless he's gay, why the _HELL_ would he
want to leave?!
"I was curious to see what would happen. Then I was
having too much fun and THEN...Well, I realised I've
been neglecting you.
CROW (Cutter): I'm going to Love you, and hug you, and call
you...Leetah.
I want you to be a part of my
life in all aspects. This,"
he gestured to the furs
they lay in,
CROW (Cutter): I killed a Zwoot for these furs! With my bare hands! And
now I'm going to have to clean it! Geez...
"this is just a small part of the
pleasure of being your mate. The other parts are when
we're just together, touching or not. I like your
company. Do you like mine?"
CROW (Cutter): Well do you?! DO YOU?! Better say yes, dammit!
Tears streamed from her eyes as she exclaimed, "Yes!
Yes, I do love your company! Oh, joy! Joy!!"
ALL (Singing, perkily): Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy
happy joy joy!!
TOM: Nope...still don't feel any better. Damn.
She flung
her arms around his neck
CROW (Cutter): Um...I don't mean to be a nag, but I kind of can't
breathe.
and vowed that no matter
what, no matter how hard it was... They would always
be together.
MIKE: Aww...how sweet. (Vomits)
All around them, the Nightmusic rang out and far
above the village, in a craggy wall, the Stargazer
smiled with satisfaction. Cutter had shut his mind to
Skywise after the third question about Leetah's
"talents" but just before that closure, a sense of
extream pleasure washed the edges of Skywise's mind.
CROW: He had discovered the wonders of mas--
MIKE: CROW!!
Not only had Cutter Learned his lesson, but he was
learning other things even now!
CROW: That lesson being: If you aren't having sex right now, you should
be!
The stargazer lifted his eyes to Good Tree's Rest and
grinned at Cutter and Leetah's stars. Though never far
apart, for some reason, they seemed closer together
than ever before, on this night.
CROW: The night...of the living DEAD!! MUA HA HA HA HA HA...
The end
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Get Yahoo! Mail - Free email you can access from anywhere!
http://mail.yahoo.com/
CROW: Thank god, it's over...
(all exit theater)
(SoL bridge)
Tom moaned. "Oh God, that was awful."
"You said it, buddy." Mike Paused. "But while it was bondage, it at
least it didn't have women spouting like broken water mains, or finding
pleasure in altogether painful acts."
"But it was completely pointless, Mike!" Crow whined.
"True. But at least it had SOME plot."
"How so?" Tom said.
"Well..." Mike put on a Sailor Moon-ish voice: "Hey, Aims! Let's have
sex!"
Tom chuckled. "Yes, I guess you're right."
"Whaddaya think, sirs?" Crow said cheerily.
(Deep 13)
"Right." Dr Forrester said. "Well..."
"Hey, Clay, I found your invention..." Frank interrupted.
Dr. Forrester's eyes widened. "NNNNNNNOOOOOOO!!!" He screamed, "FRANK!
YOU'LL BLOW THE WHOLE--"
***********BOOOOOOOOOOM!!************
(Fade to black)
FRANK (V.O): Too late. Ooops.
DR. F (V.O, voice rising menacingly): You'll pay for this, Frank...
FRANK: Oh I don't know...Clay, what are you doing with that chainsaw?
Clay?
(There is the sound of a chainsaw motor revving until that too fades
out.)
THE END!
--
____
Be sure to remove the "xx"'s from my email when replying. It should read
silas...@shaw.ca.
"Ford, you're turning into a penguin! Stop it!"
--Arthur Dent, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy