[MiSTing] The Adventures of Mighty Mulder and Super Scully (Part 3)
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Tom: Wow that Bobo is one bad mother...
Crow: (Cuts him off)Shut your mouth, Servo!
Tom: I'm just talking about Bobo.
Mike: (Puts his hand on Tom's shoulder)I can dig it.
>SCENE 3 (The park. Mulder and Scully land)
>SCULLY: Mulder! Look at that!
Crow: I don't think that I have ever seen Scully display this much emotion
before.
Mike: That's why she's called Super Scully.
>(A giant glowing orb is floating in the
>sky about 100 feet over their heads. It starts to move closer to the
>ground)
Tom: I always wondered what happen to those emeralds that you don't get in
"Sonic the Hedgehog".
>MULDER: You can't deny this, Scully!
Crow: Wanna bet?
>SCULLY: Wait! Let me use my Rational Explanation Gun on it!
Mike: AKA The Scully Speak Gun.
Tom: BKA The Scully Bitching Gun.
>(She pulls
>a gun out of her belt, aims, and fires. A laser beam shoots out and
>hits the orb, dissolving the holographic image to reveal a stealth
>helicopter)
Crow: Scully is always shooting at something.
Mike: Yeah, first Mulder now this.
>There's
>always an explanation! (The helicopter lands, and an old man in black
>armor steps out)
Mike: He seems a bit over dressed.
>MULDER: Cancer Man!
Tom: Mr. Cancer if your nasty.
>CANCER: Were you expecting someone else?
Crow: No, not really.
>SCULLY: Why the elaborate hoax? Afraid to face us yourself?
Mike: In those costumes you guys are wearing? Hell no.
>CANCER: Not at all. The hologram serves only to prepare the people of
>earth for the day when my alien colleagues are ready to take power.
Crow: And my costume will make them laugh until they wet there pants so that
they will be distracted.
>And let me assure you that day is not far off!
Tom: Well you sure as hell seem to be off.
>SCULLY: Do you expect me to believe ?
Crow: Not really.
>CANCER: Why not? Mighty Mulder does. As does his sister, although
>she's in a situation where she has no choice.
Mike: Now that is just sick.
>MULDER: Where is she?
>CANCER: Quite safe, for now. You'll see her again after my plans for
>world domination are complete.
Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
>MULDER: You son of a ...
Crow: Bitch?
>SCULLY: Mulder! This is a children's show!
Mike: Some children's show. What with the heads exploding and all of those
autopsies that Scully does.
>(Cancer Man begins to laugh
>that maniacal laugh that all super villains have. Mulder rushes
>towards him)
Tom: Why doesn't he have a battle cry? All of these heroes are suppose to
have battle cries.
>Mulder! No! (Cancer Man raises his arms, and a huge cloud
>of smoke comes out
>of his fingertips.
Crow: I pray that that is just cigarette smoke.
>Mulder falls to the ground, gasping for breath.
Mike: (As Mulder)Boy did you let out one bad cloud of poo gas.
>Scully sneaks up behind Cancer Man and uses a flying kick to bring him
>down. The cloud dissipates) Mulder! Are you hurt?
Tom: Yes.
>MULDER: Just bruised my ego.
Mike: Oh that always hurts.
>CANCER: (Still on the ground) MIB! Attack!
Tom: (Singing) Here come the Men in Black!
Crow and Mike: {Clap Clap}
>(Mulder and Scully are
>surrounded by MIB. This time, the fight is in their favor.
Crow: Well last time they got their asses kicked. What's different now?
>During the
>battle they become separated. When all of the MIB have been defeated,
>Scully notices Cancer Man
>running towards the helicopter,
Mike: I'm amazed that the old guy can run in all of that armor.
>between herself and Mulder. They are
>both too far away to catch him before he reaches it)
Tom: Why don't they just fly and catch him?
>SCULLY: Mulder! UST! (They turn the knobs on their wristbands and a
>glowing web appears between them. Cancer Man becomes entangled, as
>Mulder and Scully rush over to him)
Crow: It would have been better if Scully had just shot him with her gun.
>MULDER: We've got you now!
>CANCER: Oh really? (He vanishes)
Mike: Why didn't he just do that in the first place?
>MULDER: We had him Scully. We really had him that time!
>SCULLY: (Comforting) Come on. Let's go back to the command center.
Tom: And get it on!
>SCENE 4 (The command center)
>SKINNER: Good work, Agents! You saved the city!
Crow: Yeah but they screwed up on catching Cancer Man.
>MULDER: But we let Cancer Man get away!
>SCULLY: We did the best we could ...
Mike: Which is never any good.
>MULDER: How did he disappears like that?
Tom: (Giggling)How did he disappears like that?
>SCULLY: I don't know.
>MULDER: I do. Alien technology.
Mike: Then why did you ask if you knew?
>SCULLY: Or super advanced human technology. Don't worry, Mulder. We'll
>get him someday.
Crow: Yeah right.
>MULDER: Yes, we will. Because as long as the Truth is out there, we'll
>never give up.
Mike: Until the truth sets you free.
>THE END
All: Yes!
Tom: My favorite part of the story.
(All get up and Leave)
[1...2...3...4...5...6...Dog bone*]
[SOL]
(Mike Crow and Tom are standing at the table. Tom is wearing a Don King-like
wig while Crow is wearing a white tank top and black shorts)
Tom: Ok Crow, I want you to go out there and stare like you've never stared
before! You're a big brave dog do you hear me!? A big brave dog!
Crow: (Sobbing)I'm a big brave dog, I'm a big brave dog.
Mike: Don't worry Crow it'll be ok. Show no fear.
Tom: And remember if you win this one then we can take this show on the road.
(Crow disappears. Mike and Tom stand shocked)
Tom: What the hell was that!?
Mike: I don't know.
(Light starts to blink)
Mike: Pearl's calling, maybe she knows what happened?
(Mike hits the button and we see Pearl in Castle Forrester turned into a
stadium. Brain Guy is walking back and forth behind her wearing a striped hat
and holding bags of peanuts. Bobo and Crow are in the center at a table)
[Castle Forrester]
Pearl: Hello there Mike. Everyone has finally arrived so I told Brain Guy to
bring "Art" down with those powers that he has. This is one hell of a turnout.
We'll probably get higher ratings than Clinton's little pussy apology to the
nation. The main event is about to start. I even have Mills Lane here to be
referee.
(Mills Lane walks over and stands next to Pearl)
[SOL]
Mike: Hey look, it's Judge Mills Lane!
[Castle Forrester]
Mills: That's referee Mills Lane, pretty boy. I may be a judge but I am also
a referee and don't you forget it!
(Mills walks over to the table where Crow and Bobo are sitting)
[SOL]
Mike: Touchy guy.
Tom: Yeah.
[Castle Forrester]
Pearl: Alright, you two shut up it's about to start!
(Crow is sitting at the table shaking while Bobo is sitting there looking cool
and collected)
Mills: Ok you Guy, I have some rules to tell you just so there is no
confusion. (To Crow)No wisecracks! That means no talking about anybody's Mama
or anything of that sort! Oh hell just don't say anything! Got it!?
Crow: Yes sir!
Mills: (To Bobo)No going crazy. No monkey business. That means don't start
flinging your shit around my arena! I want a "clean" contest and I am going to
get it. Got that!?
Bobo: Yes sir!
Mills: Alright! Lets get it on!
(Bobo and Crow then begin to stare at each other. After two hours everyone
starts to get bored.)
Pearl: Hey Bobo I want to see something spectacular happen or I am going to
kick your aped ass! My taking over the world depends on you.
Bobo: (Still looking into Crows Eyes)Me!? Your plans for the world depend of
me!?
Pearl: Yeah and if you lose this thing you're going to be sorry!
(Bobo starts to sweat and then releases the worst cloud of gas that you can
ever imagine. All of the people start to leave the castle)
Mills: That's a disqualification for Bobo. Crow is the winner!
Crow: Really! Now maybe I can go.
(Crow disappears and reappears on the Satellite with a big trophy and boxes)
Crow: Hey guys! I won this big trophy and some other cool things!
Tom: Hey great!
Mike: The castle looks like a mess though.
[Castle Forrester]
(Pearl, Bobo and Brain Guy are standing by the window listening to the people
outside who want there money back. Pearl and Brain Guy are wearing gas masks
because of the bad smell)
Pearl: All of those people want their money back?
Brain Guy: Yup. Well if Bobo hadn't released a big stinky then none of this
wouldn't have happened.
Bobo: Well it doesn't smell that bad. Besides I tried to tell you before that
when I get nervous, I get gassy. You wouldn't listen.
Pearl: Well anyway we have to fix this problem. (An evil look comes over her
face)Brain Guy release the hounds.
(Fades to black and the end credits play with the sound of dogs barking and
people screaming)
>The foursome walk over to
>the barn, and Papa opens the door. Suddenly, 20 men clad in black
>spandex appear out of nowhere!)
>MULDER: MIB! (A fierce battle begins.
"*I'm* your mother now, Frank."
Dr. Forrester Experiment #513 "The Brain That Wouldn't Die"
Mystery Science Theater 3000