Misting: First Date/Marriage of the Millennium [MMPR] [4/5]
MBlackw415
>of light left the moon headed towards the Astro Megaship. Bart
>materialized on the bridge, and walked over to the D.E.C.A.
>security console where TJ, Cassie, and Carlos were gathered.
>'What have you got, guys?"
Tom: [Mineweegan accent] Ah, geez. So... Aw, geez.
Here's the second one... It's in the head and the ...
hand there, I guess that's a defensive wound. Okay.
> Bart asked his teammates. D.E.C.A.
>responded, "The most intriguing visuals I have ever analyzed.
Mike: Look! See how he goes back and to the left! Back and to
the left!
Crow: It's just the "Sledgehammer" video.
> We
>see Ashley open her closet. Then we see her move back in shock
>and terror,
Tom: [as Ashley] Oh--my--gawd! These clothes are SO out of fashion!
> struggling against... something. Then, she
>disappears, but not through Ranger teleportation methods."
Crow: [as Bart] Starfleet stole my chick! Damn! Or maybe it was
Nightcrawler...
> Bart
>pondered for a moment, then came to a startling conclusion. "A
>vampire" he thought to himself.
>
Mike: Ah yes, my first thoughts exactly.
Tom: How could he have ruled out spontaneous vaporization so easily?
>Bart told his thoughts to the others. "A vampire would not show
>up on monitoring devices, even D.E.C.A.'s advanced systems. And
>Rocky told me he encountered our old `friend' Count Nocturne
>outside Ninjor's temple."
Crow: [as Bart] He was panhandling with a sign "Will Work for
Blood".
> Carlos interjected, "If it is
>Nocturne, why didn't he go after me again?"
Mike: [as DECA] Didn't you know? You're already a vampire.
> Bart thought for a
>second, then said, "Perhaps he is not seeking recruits, but a
> mate." The others gasped in shock.
Tom: [as TJ] That vampire has no taste in women!
> Bart continued, "If he did
>capture Ash to be his mate, we have three days before she becomes
>a vampire.
Crow: [as Carlos] Three days?!
Tom: [as TJ] Better go tape Friends, I guess...
> When mating, vampires use three bites to attempt
>conquest.
All: Ewwww!
Mike: I think I'm glad I missed this special on the Discovery
Channel.
Tom: So Mike Tyson is a vampire? I knew it!
> The first bite causes twenty-four hours of submission,
>the second causes twenty-four hours of resistance and revulsion,
>the third and final bite will make her a vampire, and Nocturne's
>willing bride." Bart was an expert on vampires,
Crow: He worked with White Wolf when they tried to do that
Power Rangers RPG.
> and always kept
>a vampire hunting kit in his chambers, both here on the Megaship
>and at the mansion on Earth.
Mike: Bart the Vampire Slayer! Oh, wait, that's been done.
> Bart also had a device which,
>combined with his telepathic link to Ashley, would allow him to
>track Ashley anywhere in the solar system.
>
Tom: Man, Bart sure is prepared.
Crow: [as Bart] I also have a special device that will allow me to
rescue Ashley from the evil clutches of the Ravenous Bugblatter
Beast of Traal, even though they don't exist.
>As Bart rushed to his quarters on the Astro Megazord, Ashley, who
>fainted when Nocturne teleported away with her, came to in
>Nocturne's cave. She found she was chained at the hands and feet
>to a large outcropping of stone, which Nocturne used as a bed.
Tom: Four words, Nocturne. Certa Spring Air Matress.
>She looked around, seeing only a few light sources, and not much
>else. Then, she looked at herself. Nocturne had stripped her
>down to her undergarments.
Mike: Nocturne the Pervert Vampire!
Crow: I rate this fanfic as the BEST FANFIC EVER!
Tom: Crow, you said the same thing about "The Projected Man"!
Crow: And your point is...?
> She realized why he brought her here;
>he wanted a bride, and for some strange reason, Nocturne
>selected her.
Crow: [as Ashley] I wonder if I resemble his mom? Ick.
> Ashley hoped that Bart was picking up anything her
>mind might be sending him.
Tom: [as Ashley] I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you...
> She knew that Bart had been on the
>moon, but she didn't know where she was. All Ashley could tell
>was that she was in a cave, but she didn't know where the cave
>was,
Mike: There were others there, but they didn't believe they
were in a cave...
Crow: Mike?
Mike: ...what they considered reality, Ashley saw as silhouettes
projected by firelight onto a wall.
Tom: Mike?
Mike: And she knew that even if she told them this, they
wouldn't believe her..
Bots: MIKE!!
Mike: What? I'm being philosophical!
> she might not even be in the solar system, which would
>hinder the telepathic link. Then, she heard footsteps. Ashley
>was frightened, her breathing was irregular, her heart was
>pounding like a bass drum in a parade.
Mike: o/~ Seventy-six heartbeats lead the big parade... o/~
> Then, Nocturne entered the
> chamber, a blood lust in his eyes, Ashley's neck in his sights.
>
>Back on the Astro Megaship,
Mike: Bart had gained the powers of the garter snail, slippery
and relentless.
> Bart was preparing to look for
>Ashley. He loaded his equipment into a shuttle which Andros had
>given him in late 1998.
Crow: It's just one of those new VW Bugs, but don't tell Bart
that.
> Before coming to Earth, Bart, then
>Micron the Shrinker, was a prominent space traveler on Minutiae.
>Andros, seeing the wanderlust in Bart, gave him a small shuttle
>that was a minor, non-essential component of the Megaship.
Tom: [as Andros] It's our only escape shuttle, but take it anyway!
> Since
>then, Bart had made the vessel his own, naming it The Ashley,
>after the woman he loves. Using the psionic tracker, Bart had
>determined she was in a recently discovered asteroid field
>beyond the orbit of Pluto.
Mike: Mickey had been dumping Pluto's 'waste' back there for
years.
> Bart would have to travel at sub-
>light speeds, as he was still within the solar system. That would
>place him there in two and a half days.
Crow: Hold it! If he couldn't travel at light speeds, how did
Nocturn get there so fast?!
> Bart prayed to the lords
>of Minutiae,
Mike: That would be Val, Clyde, Winchester, and Kublai.
Crow: How'd you know that?
Mike: I spent a week at the Minutian Embassy on the
temp job.
> and invoked the name of The Prime One, ruler of All
>Minutiae,
Crow: That'd be Steve, right?
Mike: Yep.
> in hopes that he would not arrive to late to prevent
>the third bite. If he did, he would have to slay Nocturne
>before Ashley tasted blood, or she would be lost to him forever.
>As he departed, a holo-image of Ashley, which he used for
>inspiration, was activated.
>
Tom: [as Bart] Eat photon torpedoes, Ashley!
>While Bart traveled towards Pluto, many things happened,
Tom: The stock market collapsed.
Mike: Courtney Love cut a CD with the Bay City Rollers.
Tom: The 'Big One' hit California.
Crow: China declared war on Korea.
Mike: The President was assassinated.
Crow: TV execs decided to do a crossover between "Crocodile
Hunter", "The McLaughlin Group" and "That '70s Show."
Tom: The polar ice cap melted.
Crow: A meteor struck the earth.
Mike: Another 4 Robin Williams pictures came out...
Tom: And the Laker Girls changed their outfits to ones made
entirely of Steel.
Mike: Find out how this all ties together in our next thrilling
chapter!
> Andros
>and Carlos discovered the evil cogs in the transformation
>mechanism, but only Ashley or Bart had the skills to remove them.
Mike: Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket...
>Until Bart returned, with or without Ashley, Astro Megazord was
>useless. Divatox's space base, the first wave of the attack
>force, was destroyed by the zords in the Mars/Jupiter asteroid
> belt. Divatox and her crew, however, fled in the subcraft.
Tom: Gold Astro Ranger must have seen the same films that
Chris Roberts did.
>The Rangers on the Moon took over Zedd and Rita's palace, which
>was converted into a field command center. It was linked to the
>subterranean chamber where Dimitria and Alpha 7 monitored
>activities.
Mike: The Power Rangers Un-American Activities Committee.
> There was one crushing blow dealt to the Rangers. An
>elite strike team, lead by Astronema herself, landed in downtown
>Angel Grove and released one of the most evil beings in the
>universe,
Mike: Doug Herzog!
Crow: Let it go, Mike.
> Ivan Ooze.
Tom: Angel Grove must be filled with Japanese... they keep
rebuilding the city only to have it knocked down over
and over.
> Using advanced teleportation, the pieces of
>the EcTomorphicon Titans, Scorpitron and Hornitor, were brought
>to the Dark Fortress for assembly. Ooze's presence temporarily
>shifted the balance of power to Dark Spectre's forces.
>
Mike: But then Sammo Hung and Arsenio Hall showed up and
kicked the tar out of Ooze.
>By the time Bart arrived at Nocturne's asteroid, Nocturne had
>given Ashley two bites.
Crow: o/~ Once... twice... three bites a lady.. o/~
> For her first twenty-four hours of
>captivity, she had given herself to Nocturne, thanks to the
>effects of the first bite.
Crow: You could have described that in more detail!
Tom: Really! We wouldn't mind!
> After the second bite, Nocturne
>ravished her, for her will to resist him was intensified by a
>factor of three.
Mike: So, he ravishes her *after* she decided to resist him?
> Before going to a regenerative
>chamber, Nocturne had placed Ashley in a black outfit, which left
>almost nothing to the imagination.
Crow: Wow, I never imagined that Ashley was a woman!
> She was once again chained to
>Nocturne's "bed", and now, all that was left was waiting.
>Nocturne told her he would return shortly before eleven pm,
Tom: He wanted to catch Politically Incorrect.
>giving him one hour to conquer her before the third bite. The
>third bite, when mating, must be delivered precisely at midnight.
>According to a clock which Nocturne had left with her, it was
>10:45 pm.
Mike: The 11:45 pm bite will be arriving at the station at 11:45pm.
> He would be back within fifteen minutes. She developed
>a plan to avoid the third bite.
Crow: She'd sell her soul to the devil and he'd give her
powers to keep her from becoming a soulless monster.
> She would play up to him, in
>hopes of him unchaining her. She would then use the Tor Ek Nal
>that Bart had taught her to fight off Nocturne, at least until
>after midnight.
>
Crow: I know several people that would pay to be in Ashley's
position right now.
Tom: You *would* know a few, wouldn't you, Crow?
Crow: So I have interesting friends. Big deal.
>Luckily, for Ashley, Bart arrived in the chamber before Nocturne.
>"Ash! Oh, love that outfit." he said, happily. "I'll give it to
>you!" Ashley laughed.
Tom: [as Bart] Oh, keen!
> "Oh Bart, thank goodness you got here
>before Nocturne. You don't know what I've been through in the
>past forty-eight hours."
Mike: [as Ashley] It was the best sex of my life! By the way,
I'm dumping you, Bart.
> "I can imagine, lover," he told her,
Crow: [As Bart] I've been having an affair with him too.
Tom: Vampire love triangles. Next time on Springer.
>"remember, I'm an expert on vampires."
Tom: [as Bart] And steel too!
Mike: Let's give the steel thing a rest, okay?
> Bart hesitated before
>unchaining her, to make sure she was still human.
Crow: [as Bart] All your ribs seem to be in place...now to
check your sternum.
Tom: [as Ashley] Hands off me, buster!
> He knew Ashley
>loved the smell of fresh garlic, especially when Bart was cooking
>for her. Like his cousins, he had become a master gourmet chef,
>and was especially fond of Italian cuisine.
Mike: What *can't* Bart do?!
Tom: He still can't past the giant baby in Half Life.
> He opened up his
>Vampire Hunting Kit and took out a clove of garlic. Grabbing a
>garlic press, he let the aroma of garlic fill the air.
Tom: He then grabbed the cooked pasta and Tomato sauce, and made
a wonderful dinner for two by candlelight.
> "Oooooh,
>fresh garlic," Ashley squealed with delight, "Cook me some
>lasagna when we get home." "Still human, great," Bart thought.
Mike: Of course, no vampire would ever lie about his fear of
garlic.
Tom: ..And then I'll stick my ova depositor down your throat, but
I'm not an alien!
> He
>then spoke to Ashley, "Sure thing, baby. And then, someday, I'll
>cook it for our kids."
Crow: The universe is in peril, and they're planning out meals for
the next several years! Yeesh!
> Ashley was surprised, "If that's a
> proposal, I accept.
Tom: [as Ashley] But not before I see a ring on *this* finger!
> Now, how about unchaining me before Nocturne
>arrives."
>
>Before Bart could unchain his now fiance, Nocturne arrived. "Stay
>away from my bride." Bart responded boldly, "Make me!" as he
>drew a wooden stake from his kit.
Mike: [as Nocturne] Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
names will never hurt me!
> "My associates shall delay you
>until midnight, while I prepare to consummate my marriage,"
>Nocturne tells Bart as a small army, consisting of Zedd-Putties,
>Tengas, Cogs, and the infamous Pudgy Pig, surround the lone
>Crowmeowme.
Crow: They were already there as peeping Toms.
> Nocturne then turns his attentions to Ashley, within
>sixty minutes, my dear, you shall be mine.
Tom: Ah, Nocturne is Mike Wallace!
> And he," pointing
>to Bart, "shall be your first feast." Nocturne stood over
>Ashley's near-naked form, chanting an incantation in a language
>Ashley didn't recognize.
Mike: Boom acka lacka nano ching pow?
Tom: Maybe she'll start talking with her eyes.
> Bart, however, recognized that
>incantation from his studies of vampires. "Ash, if he completes
> that incantation, you'll be able to bear his children, and any
>`seeds' he may have implanted within you earlier will
>`germinate'."
Tom: Count Nocturne. Vampire gardener.
Mike: [quoting with hands] I 'think' I 'am' 'going to be sick',
if you know what I mean.
> Bart was then overwhelmed by a pair of putties,
>whom he eliminated with elbows to the Z. At five minutes until
>midnight, only Pudgy Pig and Nocturne, still chanting, remained.
>
Mike: Apparently both Ashley and Bart were killed in the carnage.
Tom: Only 55 minutes to kill off the red-shirts. Must be a new
record!
>Bart remembered stories that Brian and Kim had told him and Willy
>of Pudgy Pig. He remembered how easily he was dispatched after
>eating some spicy foods. He threw several cloves of garlic into
>Pudgy's open mouth, but they weren't spicy enough to phase him.
Tom: [as Bart] Oh no, I need a Wendy's Spice Chicken Sandwich
right now!
>Time was running out, four minutes till midnight, and the
>incantation was nearly complete. "Time to kill two boards with
>one stone,"
All: [laugh]
Tom: [as Biff] "Now why don't you make like a tree, and get
out of here!"
> Bart thought, "Or rather, one well placed tor-ka."
Crow: Tor-ture!
Tom: Tor Johnson!
Mike: ToRGo!
>
>A tor-ka is a Tor Ek Nal kick,
Tom: Taught by the masters of Tai Kwan Leap.
> and Bart executed it like the
>grandmaster he was, knocking Pudgy Pig into Nocturne, disrupting
>the chanting.
Crow: Oh great! The CD player is skipping!
> Two minutes to midnight, Bart grabbed a wooden
>stake and lunged at Nocturne, driving the stake into the count's
>heart with his bare hands. As Nocturne disintegrated, Pudgy Pig
>turned into a chicken, fleeing with his curly tail between his
>legs.
Tom: He's a chicken, I tell ya! A giant chicken!
Mike: So every time a vampire is killed, pigs turn into
chickens? Man, this has all the makings of a major riot
in the meat market!
> Bart, not seeing a key for the shackles, uses his un-
>Earthly strength to separate the cuffs from the chains.
Crow: Which he calls "Mr. Flamey's Welding Torch".
> "We'll
>cut those open once we get back to the Megaship." he tell her,
>before she initiates the most passionate kiss the two have ever
>shared.
Mike: [as Ashley] This kiss will have to run nude around the
Quad before we can allow it into our membership.
>
>Bart and Ashley board The Ashley, Bart sets the ship on homing
>pilot, a computer system which will automatically return the
>ship to the Megaship.
Crow: But using it incurs a massive charge for mileage.
Tom: And we're setting course for the Bridge.
Mike: Mr. Servo, all ahead full . . . . . . . engage!
Crow: Stop that.
[Mike stands, picks up Tom, and he and Crow exit the theater.]
[1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 . . . 6 . . . ]
[Mike, Tom and Crow stand behind the counter.]
Mike: So anyway, I said to Scott, "Seriously, what is
wrong with you?"
[All three laugh uproariously. While they laugh, Gypsy,
wearing an elaborate head dress, walks in.]
Gypsy: Attention! [All three turn to look at Gypsy.]
Thank you. I have gathered all of you together
to help fight the forces of evil...
Mike: Like people who scam insurance companies?
Crow: Or those jerks who push all of the buttons
on an elevator just before they leave it?
Tom: Or TV executives who cancel good shows, only
to replace them with stuff that can't even
hold a candle to the original show?
Gypsy: No. I was thinking of evil space aliens.
All: Oh.
Mike: Well, I guess we can fight them too.
Gypsy: But to help you fight them, I'm going to
endow you with...
Mike: Guns?
Tom: Powerful psychic abilities?
Crow: A bunch of Hell's Angels?
Gypsy: ...the powers of your totem animal spirit.
All: Oh.
Mike: Okay. I can live with that.
Tom: Me too.
Crow: Come on! Let's go! I want animal powers! Come on
Gypsy!
Gypsy: Very well, Mike...
Crow: No! Me first!
Tom: Hey! Wait your turn!
Crow: No! I want powers more than any of you do! Gimme!
Gimme! Gimme!
Mike: It's okay. Gypsy? Give Crow his powers first.
Gypsy: If you say so. Crow T. Robot. . .
Crow: This is going to be great!
Gypsy: I give you the powers of a deer! You shall move
stealthily through the forests and shall have really
big eyes!
Crow: Oh. A deer.
Tom: A female deer?
[Crow glares at Tom.]
Gypsy: Michael J. Nelson! I bestow upon you the powers
of a bear, strong and powerful!
Michael: Thank you. That's very nice of you...
Crow: Wait. I want a new spirit animal.
Michael: Huh?
Tom: Can he do that?
Gypsy: This is very irregular...
Crow: Look. I refuse to fight evil with the powers of
a deer. I want some other spirit animal.
Gypsy: I suppose it can't hurt. Crow! I give thee the
powers of a shark!
Crow: Great!
Gypsy: The nurse shark! You shall be able to swim
slowly and ponderously and be rather sessile!
Thomas Servo!
Tom: Yes?
Gypsy: I grant you...
Crow: The nurse shark? Are you insane? Give me another
spirit animal! A good one!
Tom: Hey! It's my turn!
Mike: Just give him another animal, Gypsy.
Gypsy: Fine. I was going to give this to Tom, but I'll
give it to you instead. Crow, you get the powers
of a cricket. Tom, you're a tyrannosaurus Rex.
Tom: Cool!
Crow: What?? I'm a bug, and he's a dinosaur? I won't
accept this!
Gypsy: A chinchilla?
Crow: No.
Gypsy: A pigeon?
Crow: No!
Gypsy: A philodendron?
Crow: No, no, no!
[The fanfic sign begins to flash.]
Mike: Fanfic sign.
Crow: No!
Mike: No, I mean... oh, never mind.
[Mike hits the light and the door sequence begins.]
[6 . . . 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . ]
[Mike and Tom enter and sit. Crow follows behind, still
shouting with Gypsy.]
Gypsy: [O.S.] A gopher, able to fetch stuff?
Crow: No!
Gypsy: [O.S.] A centipede, able to get shot at and
collide with mushrooms?
Crow: No!
Gypsy: [O.S.] A crow, able to comment sarcastically?
Crow: N...Hey wait! That might work!
Tom: Sit down!
[Crow sits, reluctantly.]
> Since they have roughly two and a half
>days alone, they go to the cargo bay/bedroom and "relax", even
>though Ashley has metal cuffs on her wrists and ankles.
Tom: Bart's idea of relaxing is watching golf with a 6 pack
in hand.
>Meanwhile, final preperations for the great battle are being
>made in the asteroid belt and on the moon.
Mike: They were still waiting for the caterers to arrives, however.
> All Zords are fully
>charged and readied, all hand weapons are kept at the ready.
Crow: [as a mother] Did you go to the bathroom before we left?
Mike & Tom: [as kids] Yes, mom...
> By
>the time Bart and Ashley arrive back at the Megaship, all but the
>Megaship itself are at maximum ready status.
Tom & Crow: [in awe] *MEGASHIP*!
Tom: Could he...
Crow: ...be the brother...
Tom: ...of MEGAWEAPON?!
[pause]
Crow: Nah, he'd already be ready to go. He's no slouch!
> While Bart removes
>the cogs, Ashley tells the others the details of her captivity,
>her rescue, and Bart's proposal. Cassie wishes the Phantom Ranger
>would be so romantic.
Tom: When did we switch tenses?
Mike: Mike wishes he was eating a ham sandwich and watching a
Packers game right now.
> When Bart arrives at the bridge with the
>removed cogs, Carlos tell him, "Just say the word, and Teej and
>I'll throw you the wildest bachelor party Angel Grove has ever
>seen."
All: [as Bart] Ginglesplat.
Crow: [as Carlos] Or, at least the wildest party the *wreckage*
of Angel Grove as seen.
> "We'll see, after the battle." Bart replies.
Tom: [as Bart] We'll all be alive after this, right? We're all
the good guys, and we never die!
Mike: [As Carlos] Psst! Bart! We're in "Saving Private Rocky"
remember?
> Andros, with
>a confused look on his face, asks, "What is a bachelor party?"
>
Mike: It's a 1984 movie with Tom Hanks playing, Bond, James Bond.
>With the cogs removed, the Astro Megaship is made battle-ready,
>and just in time.
Crow: [as Astro] Ruh-Roh! Re rare rin ruble row!
> Within hours of Bart and Ashley's return, the
>full armada of evil appears just past Neptune.
Tom: But please, nowhere close to Uranus.
Mike: [regretfully] Why does *everyone* have to make that joke!?
> Bart signals the
>other Rangers,
Crow: In semaphore.
> then, Brian, Bob, and Bart lead the others in a
>Minutiaeian war preparation chant, which the warriors of
>Minutiae have used for over a million years.
Mike: It's a really long chant.
Bots: Two-four-six-eight! Power Rangers are really great!
> Two minutes after
>the end of the chant, the AstroMegazord engaged the enemy in
>battle.
Mike: ...seeing how the enemy was well past them already while
they were doing that stupid chant.
> Five AstroZords launched to join the fray, taking out
>Quadrafighters and other small attack craft.
Tom: Ivanova, no!
> The strength of the
>attacking force pushed the Astro Rangers back to the Asteroid
>belt, and the second line of defense.
Crow: Pop Rocks.
> ZeoUltrazord aided
>AstroMegazord in battle, taking out nearly one quarter of the
>enemy fleet, including Serpenterra.
Mike: However, ZeoUltrazord could have just dialed 10-10-314159
and saved over 50% calling collect.
> As the battle progressed,
>the moon-based Rangers left for Mars orbit, where they
>would engage the enemy if they made it past the asteroid belt.
Mike: And if they got past Mars, then the G-Force would
have to defend the planet.
Crow: After that, the job fell to Harry Solomon.
>And they did, forcing AstroMegazord and ZeoUltrazord through the
>massive expanse of colliding rocks, but losing another eighth of
>their fleet in the process.
>
Tom: Psst, there's a third dimension, people!
Crow: Not to mention that asteroids are millions of miles apart...
>Before the Rangers could press the attack and gain the advantage,
>the Dark Fortress released the modified Ectomorphicon Titans.
Mike: And the Ghostbusters show up in the USS Ecto 1.
>Hornitor soon placed RescueMegazord in a bear hug, attempting to
>crush it, and the Robot Rangers inside.
Tom: I want to love it, and squeeze it, and call it George.
> Scorpitron was attacking
>MegaLimozord, Zeo Zord Prime, and FalconNinjazord. The addition
>of the Ectomorphicon Titans more than made up for the loss of
>ships, and the enemy seemed to have the upper hand. Several
> ships broke through the line, planning on destroying the Earth.
>The ships were set to destroy Earth, when something destroyed
>them.
Crow: Something?
Mike: Just trust us on this.
Tom: The Earth-destroying ships were blown up on their way to
Earth in order to destroy it by someone bent on stopping
the ships that were to destroy Earth using a special
"Earth-destroying Ship" gun.
> From out of nowhere, a ship appeared, heading towards the
>fray.
Mike: The U.S.S. Minnow? But how?!
Tom: The professor finally figured out how to give that ship primitive
warp technology, apparently.
> Brian easily recognized it as an Eltarian battle cruiser,
>but no Eltarian ship had cloaking devices or invisibility
>fields.
Crow: Wait! It could be the Klingons!
Tom: Or the Tiger's Claw!
Mike: Or the Vorlons!
> Cassie, however, knew who was on that ship. "It's him,"
>she screamed over the comm channels, "it's just got to be him."
Crow: [as Cassie] Mike Myers, take me away!
>Cassie knew, in her heart, it was the Phantom Ranger, her
>unrequited love.
Mike: I thought her unrequited love was Tuxedo Mask.
> The next message over the comm channel
>confirmed it. "Power Rangers," the distinctive voice of the
>Phantom Ranger crackled, "help has arrived."
>
Mike: If his definition of help is one ship, I'm outta here.
Crow: Hey, wait a minute, it's that looney, Prince of Space!
Tom: Hey, I think Krankor's got a better chance of destroying
the earth than this bunch of wackos.
>Phantom Ranger transmitted battle instructions to the Rangers.
Tom: It says "Run like Hell".
>"Aim for the many antennae on the Dark Fortress," Phantom told
>the others, "without them, the majority of the battle fleet will
>be useless."
Crow: Unless they have cable...
Mike: Or a dish...
> Immediately, every weapon in the Power Rangers
>arsenal was aimed at the multitude of antennae on the fearsome
>Dark Fortress. Despite a mighty barrage of enemy lasers, the
>Rangers managed to destroy every single antenna.
Crow: [as Phantom] Now, shoot at that collection of fuzzy dice
and "Baby on Board" signs. And take out those "My
son/daughter was on the Honor Roll" stickers!