TRAPPER JOHN'S "THE INTERVIEW" INTERVIEW

[el...@aol.com]

REPORTER: Captain John McIntyre is a surgeon attached here at the 4077.
What they call a chest cutter, is that right, Captain?
TRAPPER JOHN: Right. I look inside 'em for any souvenirs our troops
might be trying to smuggle home as souvenirs.
REPORTER: And removing them forthwith.
TRAPPER JOHN: I don't get into a lot of fights from any patients who
want to hold on to them.
REPORTER: A lot of them are very young, is that true?
TRAPPER JOHN: Too young to be doing what they're doing. Our job's
giving 'em a chance to get old.
REPORTER: You have a most unusual nickname, I'm told. "Trapper
John," is that correct?
TRAPPER JOHN: It's a hangover from college.
REPORTER: Would you tell us how you got it?
TRAPPER JOHN: The hangover?
REPORTER: The nickname.
TRAPPER JOHN: Nope.
REPORTER: Too personal?
TRAPPER JOHN: Sorry.
REPORTER: Didn't mean to pry.
TRAPPER JOHN: I'll tell you the college, if you like.
REPORTER: But not how you -
TRAPPER JOHN: It happened a long time ago. Happened B.M., you could
say. Before marriage.
REPORTER: Well, we certainly wouldn't want to get you into any trouble
back home.
TRAPPER JOHN: Let me tell clue you in on something: I wouldn't mind
being in trouble back home one bit. I wouldn't mind anything if I
could be doing it back home.
REPORTER: It's not easy being this far away.
TRAPPER JOHN: You know what's easy? Hating being this far away.
Hating just being a picture on the mantle that my two little girls say
goodnight to.
REPORTER: General Sherman was right, huh? About war being hell?
TRAPPER JOHN: If generals hate war so much, how come they can never
wait to get into the next one?
REPORTER: I understand you tried to adopt what you thought was a Korean
orphan some time back.
TRAPPER JOHN: I thought I could make us both a little less miserable
about what was going on here. Happily, the kid's mother was still
alive.
REPORTER: That would have been a lovely gesture.
TRAPPER JOHN: I'm not big on gestures. Unless there's some kind of
payoff.
REPORTER: Would you like to say hello to your own children right now?
TRAPPER JOHN: Not really. Not as just one more picture in our living
room. It's enough they're seeing me. That's a big enough kick for
all of us.
REPORTER: Do you feel this experience has in any way helped you as a
doctor?
TRAPPER JOHN: Let me ask you a question: just how many people you
figure're going to be carried into my office someday with a chunk of
shrapnel sticking out of their heads? I don't know where you live,
pal, but where I come from very few folks ever step on a landmine in
the middle of trying to cross the street.
REPORTER: Would you say there's been any positive aspect of any of this
for you at all?
TRAPPER JOHN: Of course, there is. You see people at their best around
here - see them coping with the results of what some people can do
when they're at their worst.
REPORTER: The doctors, you mean?
TRAPPER JOHN: The doctors. The nurses. The orderlies - Koreans,
mostly. Every day kind of bleeds into the next around here - in
every sense of the word -the routine gets to be fairly unmemorable.
But I have the feeling that years from now I'm gonna remember each and
every one of them. And the face that goes with each one. (A PAUSE;
THEN TO THE CAMERA) Hi, sweetheart. Hi, Becky. Hi, Cathy.

[Eddie]

<el...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1139585116.0...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...

Another keeper! Thanks again, LG!

[el...@aol.com]

Thanks again, Eddie.

LG

[Mikael Uhlin]

"Eddie" <Esolom...@verizon.net> wrote:
>Another keeper! Thanks again, LG!

Ditto! More stuff from that lost episode! Hey, why not add some more? Like
Sydney Freedman. Or why not a minor character like Spaulding or
Spearchucker? Finally a chance to learn when and why he left (apart from
that infamous "wake-up call for 1967"). Or why not let JM adds his own entry
for/as Igor?

[el...@aol.com]

Ditto! More stuff from that lost episode! Hey, why not add some more?
Like
Sydney Freedman. Or why not a minor character like Spaulding or
Spearchucker? Finally a chance to learn when and why he left (apart
from
that infamous "wake-up call for 1967").

Thanks, Mikael. Can't really begin writing ghost episodes. Other
NGers are welcome to take up the challenge.

LG

[Jack Burrito]

Larry,

You probably don't know how much these really mean to us here at 'ol
camp patch 'em up.

Favorite TV Show: M*A*S*H

Favorite Character: Too Close To Call

Having Elsig Write Just For Us? Priceless!

Back To Back Home Runs!! Thanks So Much For These Little Chunks Of Gold.

Encore!

Jack B.

[Leslie]

I think Larry knows, "Nothing's too good for this NG. "
Thanks for these kind words,Larry.

[sg]

Leslie wrote:

LG wrote:
"Nothing's too good for this NG. "

Awsome place!!!

[MarkO]

AM I DREAMING?? Are we not all collectively pinching ourselves?? I
feel like we are privy to a gold mine that many people don't know
about. THANKS ELSIG...this is a treat, unlike any other treat I can
think of. I'd never dreamed of this, when I started watching MASH
almost 30 years ago.

[Leslie]

I think Larry knows that we LOVE his works and how much these mean to
us.

Nothing's too good for this NG. "
> Thanks for these kind words,Larry.

It is more correct, what I mean.

[Leslie]

.. meant

[Stormin Mormon]

Consider it taken up.
http://www.njoproject.com/files/dcon/Darth%20Vader.jpg
I shall not fail you, Lord Vader. Oh, wait. I mean, I'll do my best, Larry.
(big grin here).

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
.

<el...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1139593739.4...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

[Stormin Mormon]

REPORTER: Excuse me, sir. May I interview you.
FREEDMAN: If you like. I'm not all that photogenic, but we can talk for a
few minutes. Want to sit over here?
REPORTER: Uh, sure. You mean on this couch?
FREEDMAN: Now, what would you like to talk about?
REPORTER: We're interviewing people at the MASH unit for a documentary to
show back in the states.
FREEDMAN: Fascinating.
REPORTER: And what is your name?
FREEDMAN: I'm Dr. Freedman, the divisional psychiatrist.
REPORTER: Oh, psychiatrist. Are there very many crazy people here in the
war?
FREEDMAN: Actually, not so many as you'd think. Most of the people here have
a well defined list of things to do, and it helps keep them sane. I see a
lot more crazy people back home where they have plenty of time on thier
hands.
REPORTER: So, what kind of mental illness do you see here?
FREEDMAN: Mostly basically sane people trying to avoid the stress of war.
Which is really a pretty healthy thing when you think about it. War has a
way of bringing out the best and the worst in people. I get called in when
it brings out the worst in people.
REPORTER: Can you give me an example?
FREEDMAN: Well, the best example I can find is the senseless violence. Walk
with me for a moment.
{Freedman and Reporter and camera crew go into post op}
REPORTER: Wow, this one looks only about seven years old. What are her
injuries?
FREEDMAN: I got to talk to the corpsmen who brought her in. This girl is
about six years old. She and her sister had gone down to the river to get
water for breakfast, and the soldiers came. There was some shouting, and one
of the soldiers threw a grenade.
REPORTER: Was she seriously hurt? And how's her sister?
FREEDMAN: Well, yes, she was seriously hurt. The surgeons spent several
hours pulling fragements out of her head, chest, and arms and legs.
REPORTER: How's her sister?
FREEDMAN: Her sister was about nine. She saw the grenade hit, and threw
herself around the younger sister. Wrapped her arms around her sister in a
big bear hug like this.
{Freedman hugs reporter}
REPORTER: What happened then?
FREEDMAN: The grenade went off, and the older sister absorbed most of the
blast. She died almost instantly, and the younger girl dragged her body back
to the hut and asked Mom for help. the only help Mom knew was to walk them
both to the MASH unit, because she knows there are doctors here.
REPORTER: Walk.....
FREEDMAN: It was about five or six miles. She never let go of her older
sister the whole way. Mom had to help suport the weight of the older sister,
but the younger one insisted on carrying her older sister the entire way.
They were exhausted when they arrived, and Klinger saw them walking along
the road. He called to Margaret, who came out to look. She in turn called
for orderlies, who came with a stretcher.
REPORTER: How's the older sister?
FREEDMAN: I already told you, she died near the instant of the blast.
REPORTER: My God!
FREEDMAN: Would you like to sit down?
{Reporter sits down, pale and trembling.}
REPORTER: My God! I have two daughters who are 6 and 9!
FREEDMAN: War isn't just John Wayne going over the hill with a bunch of
marines. Real people get hurt, and very often children.
REPORTER: You mean this happens more than once?
FREEDMAN: I see this kind of thing nearly every day.
REPORTER: You mean that there are dead and wounded children all over the
country, not just here?
FREEDMAN: I guess they don't show that back home, do they? The reality of
the war isn't all that pretty. We do what we can.
{Reporter sobs.}
REPORTER: It isn't fair. What did she do to anyone?
FREEDMAN: Perhaps nothing. No war has been fair.
REPORTER: What did she do? What did she do?
FREEDMAN: I think we'd better talk about this some more.
{fade out}

[Bill Parr]

Thanks for sharing this!!!

Bill Parr

<el...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1139585116.0...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...

> REPORTER: Captain John McIntyre is a surgeon attached here at the 4077.
> What they call a chest cutter, is that right, Captain?
> TRAPPER JOHN: Right. I look inside 'em for any souvenirs our troops
> might be trying to smuggle home as souvenirs.
> REPORTER: And removing them forthwith.
> TRAPPER JOHN: I don't get into a lot of fights from any patients who
> want to hold on to them.

(snip)

[Gazzoo]

Well...uh...er...the best I could say is give Burt Metcalfe a call

[Gumbo ...]

Trapper interview is dead-on perfect and you can tell it has that
little off-set anger of Trapper when he mentions that he doesn't get
many patients back home from them stepping on a landmine while
crossing the street...

This is Gold, LG... GOLD!

[el...@aol.com]

Thanks, Gumbo.

LG

[el...@aol.com]

Very good, SM. Very touching.

LG

[Stormin Mormon]

Thanks, Larry.
If the show were still in production, do you think any of it was good
enough to broadcast?

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
.

<el...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1139683440.1...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...

[el...@aol.com]

"If the show were still in production, do you think any of it was good
enough to broadcast?"

l think it would have been tweaked a bit,

LG

[Stormin Mormon]

That's a lot closer to "yes" than yelling "we don't want a nug, or a gun".
I'll take that for a compliment.

Of course, it woulda been tweaked. It is an editor's job to edit / modify /
tweak / adjust / polish up / rewrite a writer's first draft.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
.

<el...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1139687649.6...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...

[Brad Filippone]

That was great! Do you take requests? How about Colonel Flagg?

The Other Brad

[Parry]

Stormin Mormon wrote:
> Thanks, Larry.
> If the show were still in production, do you think any of it was
> good enough to broadcast?

It never showed on mine, can you re-post or to save annoying people
you can e-mail it to us :) - this is a valid e-mail address (although hardly
used for e-mail)

--
Parry
http://www.pazza.biz

[ls]

SM, write interview for Margaret..

[Stormin Mormon]

That's gonna be a bit tougher. You'll have to help with the editing, and
such.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
.

"ls" <Leslie...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1139803614.5...@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

[ls]

Sure, if you want Margaret sounded like me..
leslie/
Nobady will understand the interview,even Larry Gelbart.

[George Hiebert]

Wow LG, that was incredible. That was good ol' Trap to a tee. I swear I
could hear WR say every word of that.
You don't realize what a treat that was for me.
You rock sir.

[el...@aol.com]

Thanks, George.

The "interviews" were fun for me, too.

LG

[David Brunt]

<el...@aol.com> wrote

> The "interviews" were fun for me, too.

Rather belatedly as I've been up to my elbows in work over the last few
days.

Just to add my many thanks to the long list. To have given over so much time
to writing these, everyone here is forever in your debt. Unless you'd take
an IOU?

[el...@aol.com]

Thanks, David.

LG

[Stormin Mormon]

TinyURL was created!
The following URL:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv.mash/browse_frm/thread
/d5cd18d8f2e4e61f/d8bfa45d9ddeeb19?tvc=1&q=group%3Aalt.t
v.mash+insubject%3Ainterview&hl=en#d8bfa45d9ddeeb19

has a length of 167 characters and resulted in the following TinyURL which
has a length of 24 characters:
http://tinyurl.com/7d53r
[Open in new window]

Please click on the tinurul link. You can read a lot of old messages there.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
.

"Parry" <dgpa...@hotmail.co.uk> wrote in message
news:NMGHf.18947$wl....@text.news.blueyonder.co.uk...