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KKK Vampires

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Tim Bruening

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Jul 7, 2001, 5:12:17 AM7/7/01
to
Tonight, some KKK vampires attempted to set up a cross in order to burn
it, but they were repeatedly burned by that cross.


Forge

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Jul 7, 2001, 8:47:54 AM7/7/01
to

GUFFAW!!!!!

So speaketh the Master

(no, not *that* Master)

Paradox

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Jul 7, 2001, 10:53:00 AM7/7/01
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What's a kkk ??????

-Paradox

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B46D271...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Forge

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Jul 7, 2001, 12:45:15 PM7/7/01
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On Sat, 7 Jul 2001 15:53:00 +0100, "Paradox" <parad...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

>What's a kkk ??????

Ku Klux Klan, an organization of white supremacists, and I'm just
tickled pink that there are people who haven't heard of it.

Justine

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Jul 7, 2001, 1:46:22 PM7/7/01
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B46D271...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Tonight, some KKK vampires attempted to set up a cross in order to burn
> it, but they were repeatedly burned by that cross.
>
>

Muwahahaa!!!! I almost fell off my chair. Thanks Tim!


--
-Justine

"I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion." -Henry
David Thoreau

"It's been swell, but the swelling's gone down." -Lori Petty, Tank Girl
=====
W-O-V-E-N
Unofficially the first Kinnie Starr Fan Site
URL: http://kinniestarr.cjb.net
=====


Tim Bruening

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Jul 7, 2001, 3:13:06 PM7/7/01
to

Paradox wrote:

> What's a kkk ??????

Ku Kluks Klan.

Hunter

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Jul 7, 2001, 4:16:12 PM7/7/01
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"Paradox" <parad...@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<LoF17.9113$A51.1...@monolith.news.easynet.net>...
---
Klu Klux Klan, A violent American racist organization setup after the
American Civil War (1861-1865) reputedly by Confederate General Nathan
Bedford Forrest to to thwart reconstruction, to terrorize, deny the
voting franchise and maintain white supremacy over the newly freed
black slaves in the American South and later the US as a whole.

One of the rights of the KKK is cross burning. They erect a giant
cross and set it aflame to so call celebrate so-called white pride and
power. It is also used on a smaller scale to intimidate populations
they don't like (blacks, Jews, non-whites in general, whites who
reject their racism, perceived communist) by burning small ones on the
lawns of those targeted.

The Joke is that the vampires in life were KKK and they try to
continue on as they did in mortal life but of course botch it because
vampires are vunerable to both the image of the cross and to fire. :-)

----->Hunter

John Austin

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Jul 7, 2001, 5:24:25 PM7/7/01
to
Ha!

It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".

Ku Klux Klan, as Forge said.


"Paradox" <parad...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:LoF17.9113$A51.1...@monolith.news.easynet.net...

Tim Bruening

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Jul 8, 2001, 1:51:26 AM7/8/01
to

Hunter wrote:

A Buffyverse vampire can't even get near the large crosses the KKK burns.


Elf Bard

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Jul 8, 2001, 2:09:11 AM7/8/01
to

>So speaketh the Master
>
>(no, not *that* Master)

ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe Of ThAt...


Don Sample

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Jul 8, 2001, 3:49:03 AM7/8/01
to
In article <3B47F4DE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:

Sure they can. A cross doesn't actually hurt a vampire unless it
touches it. A sufficiently motivated vampire can get as close as it
wants to a cross. The Master used to keep a big honking cross in his
layer in order to aclimatize himself to it.

--
Don Sample, dsa...@synapse.net
Visit the Buffy Body Count at http://www.synapse.net/~dsample/BBC
Quando omni flunkus moritati

Cybe R. Wizard

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Jul 8, 2001, 10:20:11 AM7/8/01
to
Sometime around Sun, 8 Jul 2001 15:39:11 +0930, "Elf Bard"
<elf...@iprimus.com.au> intoned:

>
>
>>So speaketh the Master
>>
>>(no, not *that* Master)
>
>ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe Of ThAt...
>

Yes, I don't.

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Unofficial "Wizard of Odds", A.H.P.
Original PORG Water Wizard, R.P.
Ship's "Other Wizard", Bad Ship "BetNoirian", A.C.
Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L

Tim Bruening

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Jul 8, 2001, 3:37:57 PM7/8/01
to
Vampire lawyers will only work in the night court. Vampire workers will
only work the graveyard shift.


Tim Bruening

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Jul 8, 2001, 5:40:46 PM7/8/01
to

pun...@wilmington.net wrote:

> Thus spoketh Don Sample:


>
> > Sure they can. A cross doesn't actually hurt a vampire
> unless
> > it touches it. A sufficiently motivated vampire can get
> as
> > close as it wants to a cross. The Master used to keep a
> big
> > honking cross in his layer in order to aclimatize himself
> to
> > it.
>

> Why would this Master person keep his vampire-thwarting
> cross in a chicken? One would think that he would keep his
> "big honking cross" in a goose. Yes, that's bloody correct
> .. I'd stake my reputation on it.
>
> Or did you mean to use the word 'lair'?

The Master was a very old vampire who wanted to open his big fat
Hellmouth and take a bite out of the world.


Vince Macek

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Jul 8, 2001, 5:52:36 PM7/8/01
to

Elf Bard wrote:

Ohhh, what *would* the Master approve of?

Geez, here we were enjoying a perfectly good joke, then the thread turns
to...to...M-M-M-ANOS! THE HANDS OF *FAAAATE*! HAUUUUGH!!!

VMacek

Gert Wallage

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Jul 9, 2001, 1:12:37 AM7/9/01
to
> Ha!
> It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".

It might be "Ku Kluks Klan" if we're talking about racist vampire chickens.

Gert

redbeard_nv

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Jul 9, 2001, 2:59:11 AM7/9/01
to
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:

>Vampire lawyers will only work in the night court. Vampire workers will
>only work the graveyard shift.

Explains all the weirdos behind the counters at 7/11s and Circle Ks at
2 o'clock in the morning.

That, and tech support lines.

Dennis M. Hammes

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Jul 9, 2001, 4:37:17 AM7/9/01
to

Never trust a chicken wearing white...
--
>^,,^<
It is better to break ground and head into the wind
than to break wind and head into the ground.
http://t-independent.com/scrawlmark-press/

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 4:19:37 PM7/9/01
to
On Sun, 08 Jul 2001 14:40:46 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
about:

Then he'd have loved Eartha Kitt.

J. A. Mc.

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Jul 9, 2001, 4:20:57 PM7/9/01
to
On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 03:37:17 -0500, "Dennis M. Hammes"
<scraw...@qwest.net> found these unused words floating about:

>Gert Wallage wrote:
>>
>> > Ha!
>> > It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".
>>
>> It might be "Ku Kluks Klan" if we're talking about racist vampire chickens.
>>
>> Gert
>
>Never trust a chicken wearing white...

I see you rode "Iceland Red".


J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 4:42:33 PM7/9/01
to
On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 06:59:11 GMT, redbe...@hotmail.com
(redbeard_nv) found these unused words floating about:

You have a tech-support line crypt open at 2 AM?

Dennis M. Hammes

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Jul 9, 2001, 10:49:59 PM7/9/01
to

He thought they did, but it turned out to be encrypted. So, coffin
quietly in embarrassment (i.e., taking his clothes off), he crypt off
to bed.

Dennis M. Hammes

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Jul 9, 2001, 10:51:27 PM7/9/01
to

Such strong colors aren't stylish. It was "Rosebud."

Tim Bruening

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Jul 10, 2001, 1:19:53 AM7/10/01
to

Gert Wallage wrote:

Or the "Ku Klutz Klan" for racist clumsy vampires, or the "Klu Klux Klan" for
racist vampire detectives.


Tim Bruening

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Jul 10, 2001, 1:32:40 AM7/10/01
to
Zombie workers will only work the graveyard shift.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 10, 2001, 2:26:59 AM7/10/01
to
IMHO, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are shows you can really sink
your teeth into. My anticipation for next season is really Spiking
after the Glorious conclusion to this season.

Tim Bruening

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Jul 10, 2001, 2:50:09 AM7/10/01
to
Vampire Klingons like to say "Tonight's a good night to die".

Tim Bruening

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Jul 10, 2001, 2:51:06 AM7/10/01
to
No vampire would be caught dead lying in the sun!

Hunter

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Jul 10, 2001, 8:02:31 AM7/10/01
to
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message news:<3B4A9079...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
------
OK OK OK! Alright already!! :-D It was a typo! I knew it was KU Klux
Klan! By the way, Ku Klux is derived from the Greek "kuklos" words for
circle and cycle

Just a little trivia.

----->Hunter

J. A. Mc.

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Jul 10, 2001, 11:44:59 AM7/10/01
to
On 10 Jul 2001 05:02:31 -0700, buffh...@my-deja.com (Hunter) found

these unused words floating about:

>Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message news:<3B4A9079...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...

Looks like the man had his own Ku clue.


J. A. Mc.

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Jul 10, 2001, 11:51:22 AM7/10/01
to
On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 21:49:59 -0500, "Dennis M. Hammes"
<scraw...@qwest.net> found these unused words floating about:

>"J. A. Mc." wrote:
>>
>> On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 06:59:11 GMT, redbe...@hotmail.com
>> (redbeard_nv) found these unused words floating about:
>>
>> >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>> >
>> >>Vampire lawyers will only work in the night court. Vampire workers will
>> >>only work the graveyard shift.
>> >
>> >Explains all the weirdos behind the counters at 7/11s and Circle Ks at
>> >2 o'clock in the morning.
>> >
>> >That, and tech support lines.
>>
>> You have a tech-support line crypt open at 2 AM?
>
>He thought they did, but it turned out to be encrypted. So, coffin
>quietly in embarrassment (i.e., taking his clothes off), he crypt off
>to bed.

I've heard that many ISP's operate with a skeleton staff, but this is
(AD: Mausoleum for rent) too much.

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 10, 2001, 12:00:10 PM7/10/01
to
On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 23:51:06 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
about:

>No vampire would be caught dead lying in the sun!

Hmmmm. Rather thought that's what and how they'd be.
Pun do, pun don't, latter!

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 10, 2001, 12:19:47 PM7/10/01
to
On Mon, 09 Jul 2001 23:26:59 -0700, Tim Bruening

<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
about:

>IMHO, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are shows you can really sink


>your teeth into. My anticipation for next season is really Spiking
>after the Glorious conclusion to this season.

Methinks you're becomeing a casket case.

Don Kirkman

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Jul 10, 2001, 5:37:54 PM7/10/01
to
It seems to me I heard somewhere that J. A. Mc. wrote in article
<2n8mkts4694unlo9l...@4ax.com>:

>On 10 Jul 2001 05:02:31 -0700, buffh...@my-deja.com (Hunter) found
>these unused words floating about:
>>Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message news:<3B4A9079...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
>>> Gert Wallage wrote:
>> Ha!
>>> > > It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".
>>> > It might be "Ku Kluks Klan" if we're talking about racist vampire chickens.
>>> Or the "Ku Klutz Klan" for racist clumsy vampires, or the "Klu Klux Klan" for
>>> racist vampire detectives.

>>OK OK OK! Alright already!! :-D It was a typo! I knew it was KU Klux
>>Klan! By the way, Ku Klux is derived from the Greek "kuklos" words for
>>circle and cycle
>Looks like the man had his own Ku clue.

Just him and his Frands and Ollie.
--
Don
don...@covad.net

Dennis M. Hammes

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Jul 10, 2001, 7:19:45 PM7/10/01
to
I'd plow into this, but I've got a share loose.

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 10, 2001, 7:46:02 PM7/10/01
to
On Tue, 10 Jul 2001 14:37:54 -0700, Don Kirkman <new...@covad.net>

found these unused words floating about:

>It seems to me I heard somewhere that J. A. Mc. wrote in article
><2n8mkts4694unlo9l...@4ax.com>:
>
>>On 10 Jul 2001 05:02:31 -0700, buffh...@my-deja.com (Hunter) found
>>these unused words floating about:
>>>Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message news:<3B4A9079...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
>>>> Gert Wallage wrote:
>>> Ha!
>>>> > > It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".
>>>> > It might be "Ku Kluks Klan" if we're talking about racist vampire chickens.
>>>> Or the "Ku Klutz Klan" for racist clumsy vampires, or the "Klu Klux Klan" for
>>>> racist vampire detectives.
>>>OK OK OK! Alright already!! :-D It was a typo! I knew it was KU Klux
>>>Klan! By the way, Ku Klux is derived from the Greek "kuklos" words for
>>>circle and cycle
>>Looks like the man had his own Ku clue.
>
>Just him and his Frands and Ollie.

Oops, we're dragon the bottom, A hem!


Elf Bard

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Jul 11, 2001, 2:04:37 AM7/11/01
to

>Methinks you're becomeing a casket case.
>

I hate to be mean but... Begining?


Elf Bard

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Jul 11, 2001, 2:05:21 AM7/11/01
to

>Vampire Klingons like to say "Tonight's a good night to die".
>

Vampiric Klingons? I like a good joke as much as the next person but you're
going a bit overboard...


cybyl

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Jul 11, 2001, 2:56:06 AM7/11/01
to
Elf Bard wrote:

Sounds like you could Kahless, but
beware of Klingon vampire batliffs...

Mark Brown

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Jul 11, 2001, 1:45:05 PM7/11/01
to
"cybyl" <co...@technologistx.com> wrote in message
news:coven-B2342A....@corp.supernews.com...

Bat'leths.

Don't mek('leth) me come over there.

Mark
"Considering the fanfic possibilities inspired by the vampire/sunlight
scenario in Pylea."


Tim Bruening

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Jul 13, 2001, 2:24:45 AM7/13/01
to

"Dr. Tormento" wrote:

> On Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:02:58 -0700, cybyl <co...@technologistx.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> >> Zombie workers will only work the graveyard shift.
> >
> >The more ambitious zombie workers will
> >quit if it turns out to be a dead end job
>
> This is not what we had in mind when we asked for jokes about
> stiffies...

The zombie union is falling apart, thanks to all the scabs brought in to
break the strike.


Tim Bruening

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Jul 13, 2001, 2:25:44 AM7/13/01
to
The Zombie and Vampire workers have dug themselves into a deep hole.


J. A. Mc.

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Jul 13, 2001, 11:07:51 AM7/13/01
to
On Thu, 12 Jul 2001 23:24:45 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
about:

>
>

Did they scarab all the big bad zombies?


Harry Farkas

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Jul 14, 2001, 1:07:18 AM7/14/01
to
Tim Bruening wrote:

Did the zombies pick on the scabs?

--
Harry Farkas
InnerArt
Read Weirdology Network and Bizarre Occurrences in InnerArt Artbits:
Cover: http://innerart.com
My Columns: http://innerart.com/farkas/index.html


Dennis M. Hammes

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Jul 14, 2001, 2:22:34 AM7/14/01
to
Harry Farkas wrote:
>
> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > "Dr. Tormento" wrote:
> >
> > > On Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:02:58 -0700, cybyl <co...@technologistx.com>
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Zombie workers will only work the graveyard shift.
> > > >
> > > >The more ambitious zombie workers will
> > > >quit if it turns out to be a dead end job
> > >
> > > This is not what we had in mind when we asked for jokes about
> > > stiffies...
> >
> > The zombie union is falling apart, thanks to all the scabs brought in to
> > break the strike.
>
> Did the zombies pick on the scabs?
>
Probably. If the boss lays you off and gets a scab, you picket.
--
>^,,^<
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
http://t-independent.com/scrawlmark-press/

Forge

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Jul 14, 2001, 7:07:43 AM7/14/01
to
On Sat, 14 Jul 2001 01:22:34 -0500, "Dennis M. Hammes"
<scraw...@qwest.net> wrote:

>> > The zombie union is falling apart, thanks to all the scabs brought in to
>> > break the strike.
>>
>> Did the zombies pick on the scabs?
>>
>Probably. If the boss lays you off and gets a scab, you picket.

guffaw "Don't pick at it, it'll never heal!"

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 14, 2001, 12:13:26 PM7/14/01
to
On Sat, 14 Jul 2001 01:22:34 -0500, "Dennis M. Hammes"
<scraw...@qwest.net> found these unused words floating about:

>Harry Farkas wrote:
>>
>> Tim Bruening wrote:
>>
>> > "Dr. Tormento" wrote:
>> >
>> > > On Wed, 11 Jul 2001 00:02:58 -0700, cybyl <co...@technologistx.com>
>> > > wrote:
>> > >
>> > > >Tim Bruening wrote:
>> > > >
>> > > >> Zombie workers will only work the graveyard shift.
>> > > >
>> > > >The more ambitious zombie workers will
>> > > >quit if it turns out to be a dead end job
>> > >
>> > > This is not what we had in mind when we asked for jokes about
>> > > stiffies...
>> >
>> > The zombie union is falling apart, thanks to all the scabs brought in to
>> > break the strike.
>>
>> Did the zombies pick on the scabs?
>>
>Probably. If the boss lays you off and gets a scab, you picket.

Do we have band aid concerts for scabs?


Tim Bruening

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Jul 16, 2001, 1:35:49 AM7/16/01
to
Fangs to the WB for 5 great seasons of Buffy and 2 great seasons of
Angel. I can hardly wait to see the Dawn of the next Buffy season!

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 16, 2001, 2:24:12 AM7/16/01
to
Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece, since your union
would be likely to fall apart.

When vampires get married, are blood tests required?


Incubus

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Jul 16, 2001, 4:45:57 AM7/16/01
to
DOH

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B527D35...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

paulcs

unread,
Jul 16, 2001, 5:21:08 AM7/16/01
to
Hush! I'm sure it would be the wish of most here that bad puns nto be
uttered within an earshot of the group, as leaves us helpless and
forced to suffer the consequences of some very dubious choices made by
a few bad eggs.

Paul

Incubus

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Jul 16, 2001, 4:52:50 AM7/16/01
to
DOH
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B52888C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 16, 2001, 12:56:07 PM7/16/01
to
On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 09:45:57 +0100, "Incubus" <inc...@hellfire.com>

found these unused words floating about:

>DOH
>
Bet he watches Buffy in the buffy ???

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 16, 2001, 12:59:40 PM7/16/01
to
On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 09:52:50 +0100, "Incubus" <inc...@hellfire.com>

found these unused words floating about:

>Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

>DOH
>
"Dead-on-Humor"?


Incubus

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Jul 16, 2001, 2:01:50 PM7/16/01
to
pad puns are worse than no puns but they do give us an excuse to go, " DOH"
paulcs <pau...@nowhere.net> wrote in message
news:3b52afe7...@news.speakeasy.net...

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 16, 2001, 7:15:51 PM7/16/01
to
On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 19:01:50 +0100, "Incubus" <inc...@hellfire.com>

found these unused words floating about:

>paulcs <pau...@nowhere.net> wrote in message
>news:3b52afe7...@news.speakeasy.net...


>> On Sun, 15 Jul 2001 22:35:49 -0700, Tim Bruening
>> <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>>
>> >Fangs to the WB for 5 great seasons of Buffy and 2 great seasons of
>> >Angel. I can hardly wait to see the Dawn of the next Buffy season!
>> >

>> Hush! I'm sure it would be the wish of most here that bad puns nto be
>> uttered within an earshot of the group, as leaves us helpless and
>> forced to suffer the consequences of some very dubious choices made by
>> a few bad eggs.
>>

>pad puns are worse than no puns but they do give us an excuse to go, " DOH"
>

Yes! WE *go* at the bottom of the thread, never pollute up-stream !


Incubus

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Jul 16, 2001, 8:59:27 PM7/16/01
to

J. A. Mc. <xx...@lvdi.net> wrote in message
news:iat6ltocpic8h4n4p...@4ax.com...

but i did go to the bottom of the erm stream
>
>


Cybe R. Wizard

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Jul 16, 2001, 6:18:55 PM7/16/01
to
Sometime around Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> intoned:

>When vampires get married, are blood tests required?

Yes. The question is, who'se gets tested?

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Unofficial "Wizard of Odds", A.H.P.
Original PORG Water Wizard, R.P.
Ship's "Other Wizard", Bad Ship "BetNoirian", A.C.
Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L

Cybe R. Wizard

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Jul 16, 2001, 6:55:27 PM7/16/01
to
Sometime around Mon, 16 Jul 2001 22:18:55 +0000, Cybe R. Wizard
<cy...@cyberwizardztower.com> intoned:

>Sometime around Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
><tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> intoned:
>
>>When vampires get married, are blood tests required?
>
>Yes. The question is, who'se gets tested?

^^^^^^
Huh??
>
>Cybe

I was just feeling a little whosy.

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 17, 2001, 5:36:40 PM7/17/01
to
On Tue, 17 Jul 2001 01:59:27 +0100, "Incubus" <inc...@hellfire.com>

found these unused words floating about:

>
>J. A. Mc. <xx...@lvdi.net> wrote in message
>news:iat6ltocpic8h4n4p...@4ax.com...
>> On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 19:01:50 +0100, "Incubus" <inc...@hellfire.com>
>> found these unused words floating about:
>>
>> >paulcs <pau...@nowhere.net> wrote in message
>> >news:3b52afe7...@news.speakeasy.net...
>> >> On Sun, 15 Jul 2001 22:35:49 -0700, Tim Bruening
>> >> <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>> >>
>> >> >Fangs to the WB for 5 great seasons of Buffy and 2 great seasons of
>> >> >Angel. I can hardly wait to see the Dawn of the next Buffy season!
>> >> >
>> >> Hush! I'm sure it would be the wish of most here that bad puns nto be
>> >> uttered within an earshot of the group, as leaves us helpless and
>> >> forced to suffer the consequences of some very dubious choices made by
>> >> a few bad eggs.
>> >>
>> >pad puns are worse than no puns but they do give us an excuse to go, "
>DOH"
>> >
>> Yes! WE *go* at the bottom of the thread, never pollute up-stream !
>
>but i did go to the bottom of the erm stream
>>

Is that the water that flows from the erm mine?


J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 17, 2001, 5:25:50 PM7/17/01
to
On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 22:55:27 +0000, Cybe R. Wizard
<cy...@cyberwizardztower.com> found these unused words floating about:

>Sometime around Mon, 16 Jul 2001 22:18:55 +0000, Cybe R. Wizard
><cy...@cyberwizardztower.com> intoned:
>
>>Sometime around Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
>><tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> intoned:
>>
>>>When vampires get married, are blood tests required?
>>
>>Yes. The question is, who'se gets tested?
> ^^^^^^
>Huh??
>>

>I was just feeling a little whosy.
>

You can get arrested for that. What sis did.


David M. Sueme

unread,
Jul 17, 2001, 11:40:58 PM7/17/01
to
On Mon, 16 Jul 2001 22:18:55 +0000, Cybe R. Wizard
<cy...@cyberwizardztower.com> wrote:

^Andy <thisisnota...@email.com>


>
>Yes. The question is, who'se gets tested?

Human babies get positive or negative RH types. Did the "Annointed
One" get an RH type with an imaginary number?

Dave

Usenet threads are more like rats than snakes. There is no head to chop off - it's when you stop feeding it garbage that it dies.

Raven

unread,
Jul 18, 2001, 10:43:23 PM7/18/01
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B52888C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Yes but its an oral exam.

--
The fact that we've all made mistakes in no
way obligates us to tolerate them in others.

Raven


David M. Sueme

unread,
Jul 19, 2001, 7:59:00 PM7/19/01
to
On Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:

>Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece

Peace of what, I wonder?

Don Kirkman

unread,
Jul 20, 2001, 8:04:52 PM7/20/01
to
It seems to me I heard somewhere that David M. Sueme wrote in article
<3b577653$0$18898$272e...@news.execpc.com>:

>On Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
><tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>>Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece
>Peace of what, I wonder?

Never mind.
--
Don
don...@covad.net

J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 22, 2001, 1:49:36 PM7/22/01
to
On Fri, 20 Jul 2001 17:04:52 -0700, Don Kirkman <new...@covad.net>

found these unused words floating about:

>It seems to me I heard somewhere that David M. Sueme wrote in article

It was an armless question.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 22, 2001, 7:34:09 PM7/22/01
to

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

The zombie paid an arm and a leg for that tuxedo.


J. A. Mc.

unread,
Jul 23, 2001, 2:57:38 PM7/23/01
to
On Sun, 22 Jul 2001 16:34:09 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
about:

>
>
>"J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
>> On Fri, 20 Jul 2001 17:04:52 -0700, Don Kirkman <new...@covad.net>
>> found these unused words floating about:
>>
>> >It seems to me I heard somewhere that David M. Sueme wrote in article
>> ><3b577653$0$18898$272e...@news.execpc.com>:
>> >
>> >>On Sun, 15 Jul 2001 23:24:12 -0700, Tim Bruening
>> >><tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>> >>>Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece
>> >>Peace of what, I wonder?
>> >
>> >Never mind.
>>
>> It was an armless question.
>
>The zombie paid an arm and a leg for that tuxedo.
>

Thankfully the rental charge was C.O.D.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 1:07:27 AM7/26/01
to
In today's Sacramento Bee, the Mother Goose And Grimm cartoon features a
dead umpire and three baseball players. One of the players says "Yep,
there's a silver stake in his heart. It must've have been "Buffy The
Umpire Slayer"".

David M. Sueme

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 2:04:41 AM7/26/01
to

You could be right on this one. Is there a URL so that we can look at
the cartoon online?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 2:36:06 AM7/26/01
to

"David M. Sueme" wrote:

> On Wed, 25 Jul 2001 22:07:27 -0700, Tim Bruening
> <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:
>
> >In today's Sacramento Bee, the Mother Goose And Grimm cartoon features a
> >dead umpire and three baseball players. One of the players says "Yep,
> >there's a silver stake in his heart. It must've have been "Buffy The
> >Umpire Slayer"".
>
> You could be right on this one. Is there a URL so that we can look at
> the cartoon online?

Try www.sacbee.com.


Amy B.

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 8:28:34 AM7/26/01
to
On Thu, 26 Jul 2001 06:04:41 GMT, dsu...@core.com (David M. Sueme)
wrote:

>You could be right on this one. Is there a URL so that we can look at
>the cartoon online?

www.grimmy.com

Pick comics from the menu - it's the one dated 07/25/2001.

Amy

Incubus

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 11:08:12 AM7/26/01
to
I thought John macenroe was the ultimate umpire slayer

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:3B5FA58F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Mindeye

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Jul 26, 2001, 11:40:44 AM7/26/01
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> escribió en el mensaje
news:3B5FA58F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

I downloaded some time ago from somewhere I don't remember an asf video file
with a parody in English where Buffy's sacred duty was to slay the evil
umpires, whose existence predates History (according to "Giles"). I had to
delete it, but it was quite funny

Mindeye


Allan MAc Donald

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Jul 26, 2001, 3:19:57 PM7/26/01
to
"Mindeye" <air...@XXXnavegalia.com> wrote in message
news:3b60...@news.airtel.net...

iirc that was from mad tv a few years ago.
>


Bill

unread,
Jul 26, 2001, 5:06:22 PM7/26/01
to
It's found at:
http://www.comicspage.com/grimmy/index.html

Look for 7/25/2001....


"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

news:3B5FBA56...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Vince Macek

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Jul 26, 2001, 8:19:52 PM7/26/01
to

Tim Bruening wrote:

Aww, bugger. I drew up a similar cartoon a while back - Giles running up to
Buffy at home plate shouting "No, no! You're a *vampire* slayer!" a little
too late.

I hate when that happens - did a Buffy Halloween cartoon which essentially
showed up the next day in the paper.

VMacek

Klyfix

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Jul 26, 2001, 8:26:50 PM7/26/01
to
In article <3B5FA58F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> writes:

Saw that in the Boston Globe. Saw pretty much the same idea in the
panel comic "Off The Mark" a few weeks back. Oh well....

V. S. Greene : kly...@aol.com : Boston, near Arkham...
Eckzylon: http://m1.aol.com/klyfix/eckzylon.html
RPG and SF, predictions, philosophy, and other things.
"It's not like Sioux Falls"-A guy on the Boston subway.

A. J. Taia

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Jul 30, 2001, 10:30:06 AM7/30/01
to
On Sat, 07 Jul 2001 21:24:25 GMT, "John Austin"
<jausti...@austin.rr.com> wrote:

>Ha!
>It's not the "Klu Klux Klan" or the "Ku Kluks Klan".
>Ku Klux Klan, as Forge said.

You're talking about a bunch of rednecks and you're worried
about spelling? After looking at one of their pamphlets I'm surprised
that they are even capable of walking erect. They spell Clan with a K
for goodness sake!

--
=== You're reading the words of Toni Taia ===
We shall see to which one the Olympian grants the glory.
Email: ta...@NOSPAMxtra.co.nz (sub the NOSPAM for guess what? :)

Tim Bruening

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Aug 7, 2001, 12:39:46 AM8/7/01
to
Zombie workers often find themselves in undead end jobs, trudging people
like though their unlives.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Aug 8, 2001, 1:06:15 AM8/8/01
to
Many vampire workers are stuck in undead end jobs, trudging people-like
though their unlives.

BerniE

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Aug 8, 2001, 2:05:34 AM8/8/01
to
In article <3B70C8C7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us posted:

>
>Many vampire workers are stuck in undead end jobs, trudging people-like
>though their unlives.

At least they're gainfully unemployed.

Corwin2

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Aug 17, 2001, 7:21:22 PM8/17/01
to
buffh...@my-deja.com (Hunter) writes:

>Klu Klux Klan, A violent American racist organization setup after the
>American Civil War (1861-1865) reputedly by Confederate General Nathan
>Bedford Forrest to to thwart reconstruction, to terrorize, deny the
>voting franchise and maintain white supremacy over the newly freed
>black slaves in the American South and later the US as a whole.

Reconstruction is a strange name for a military occupation
designed to punish the South.

I thought the KKK sort of ceased operation for several years and
then revived again culminating with a "million man march" sometime
in the 20's. (The 1920's.) But then their allegedly charismatic leader
was convicted of committing rape, cannibalism and murder (the woman
died of blood loss??) and their numbers dwindled. In the 50's or
60's they had about 50,000? members. In the 80's or 90's they
had about 5,000? members. I saw a joke? saying they had
about 2000 or 3000 members but that 10% of them were FBI informants.

(J)

Tim Bruening

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Oct 22, 2005, 2:07:32 PM10/22/05
to
Working Stiffs: Zombie workers.

Pumpkin: Lifting your relatives up and down for exercise.

Witches love spell checking programs.

When vampires and zombies get sick, they take coffin medicine.

Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece, since
your union would be likely to fall apart.

Zombie cops are officers of the piece. Zombie soldiers seek to keep the
piece. However, piece treaties signed by zombie diplomats have a rotten
habit of falling apart.

When vampires get married, are blood tests required?

Vampires are bare footed and are bad singers. In other words, they are
sole less and without soul.

A vampire baseball player was suspended for eating a spectator. Buffy
was suspended for staking an opposing player.

A vampire baseball game was called on account of lightness.

Buffy is continuing to stake her claim to fame.

I am haunting for more spooky, goulash, halloween puns.

DW

unread,
Oct 22, 2005, 9:01:27 PM10/22/05
to
Tim Bruening wrote:
> Vampires are bare footed and are bad singers. In other words, they are
> sole less and without soul.
Except if they're name Angel and Spike.....

Tim Bruening

unread,
Oct 22, 2005, 9:36:25 PM10/22/05
to

DW wrote:

I understand that Angel isn't a very good singer.

nemo

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Oct 23, 2005, 5:24:36 AM10/23/05
to

"DW" <DrWood...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1130029287.4...@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
From Home and Away and The Goon Show?? A very strange combination.

Neddie: Here's another one.

Eccles: Ooooooh! Now we got whole a *pair* of very strange combinations!

Must be Edward Woodward's discarded OnDS!

Would Edward Woodward do that?


nemo

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Oct 23, 2005, 5:29:18 AM10/23/05
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:435AE919...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
The one in Home and Away had a good voice. Who was her boyfriend now??
Lance! That was it. Her knight in shining ardour!

No we got a property developer being shoved about by a right Jessie!


Tim Bruening

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Oct 23, 2005, 7:14:54 AM10/23/05
to

nemo wrote:

Ghost Apine: Boo-Bee.

nemo

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Oct 23, 2005, 4:45:11 PM10/23/05
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:435B70AE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Whatsat gotta do wiv Edward Woodward? He ain't a beak heaper.


JAMc

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Oct 23, 2005, 11:22:44 PM10/23/05
to
"DW" <DrWood...@hotmail.com> found some misplaced characters and
posted news:1130029287.4...@f14g2000cwb.googlegroups.com:

Buffy 't' doo dah!

Tim Bruening

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Oct 24, 2005, 10:12:10 PM10/24/05
to
Halloween Puns:

SUB: Sports Utility Broom, flown by wealthy witches. I saw this pun in
a Mother Goose and Grimm 2 years ago.

Pumpkin: Relative of a pump.

Halloweenie: Hallowed out hot dog.

Booting: Ghost bell or ringing ghost.

nemo

unread,
Oct 25, 2005, 4:23:56 PM10/25/05
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:435D947A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Halloweenie: What a very fat man can look down and say after he's lost a lot
of weight.


Tim Bruening

unread,
Mar 3, 2006, 1:44:55 AM3/3/06
to
Working Stiffs: Zombie workers.

Pumpkin: Lifting your relatives up and down for exercise.

Witches love spell checking programs.

When vampires and zombies get sick, they take coffin medicine.

Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece, since
your union would be likely to fall apart.

Zombie cops are officers of the piece. Zombie soldiers seek to keep the
piece. However, piece treaties signed by zombie diplomats have a rotten
habit of falling apart.

When vampires get married, are blood tests required?

Vampires are bare footed and are bad singers. In other words, they are


sole less and without soul.

A vampire baseball player was suspended for eating a spectator. Buffy

Tim Bruening

unread,
Mar 3, 2006, 2:39:23 AM3/3/06
to

nemo wrote:

Ghost Apine: Boo-Bee.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Mar 3, 2006, 2:50:11 AM3/3/06
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 3, 2006, 2:18:27 AM7/3/06
to
Working Stiffs: Zombie workers.

Pumpkin: Lifting your relatives up and down for exercise.

Witches love spell checking programs.

When vampires and zombies get sick, they take coffin medicine.

Be careful not to be married by a zombie officer of the piece, since
your union would be likely to fall apart.

Zombie cops are officers of the piece. Zombie soldiers seek to keep the
piece. However, piece treaties signed by zombie diplomats have a rotten
habit of falling apart.

When vampires get married, are blood tests required?

Vampires are bare footed and are bad singers. In other words, they are


sole less and without soul.

A vampire baseball player was suspended for eating a spectator. Buffy

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 3, 2006, 2:37:01 AM7/3/06
to

nemo wrote:

Ghost Apine: Boo-Bee.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jul 3, 2006, 2:45:16 AM7/3/06
to

nemo

unread,
Jul 3, 2006, 1:05:34 PM7/3/06
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:44A8B6B3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Well you've got plenty of thyme!

(I think that stuff goes into ghoulashes.)

Ghoulashes: All that was left of Dracula at the end of 'Dracula: Dead and
Loving It' when Renfield drew a little face on the pile!

Yes! We have Nos feratu!
We have Nos feratu today!

It just came in this morning!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112896/


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