"If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?"
|Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female
|alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
"If everybody knew the truth about everybody else's thoughts, there
would be way more murders."
--
"What does a dog do on his day off?
He can't just lie around - that's his JOB!"
In honor of George Carlin, our dog has the day off today.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them
are stupider than that.
You know the good thing about all those executions in Texas? Fewer
Texans.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
courthouse: You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not
commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of
lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work
environment.
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just
enough money not to quit.
the best thing about getting old is that people will carry almost
anything for you.