[Fanfic][Kiss Players] Emo Boys are Easy
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
Emo Boys are Easy
by Derik Smith
Don't tell Walky, he hates it so. ;-)
There is a time, so late at night that it's technically early, that the
everpresent noise and bustle of traffic at last gives quit and the
streets run empty. Traffic lights blink unseen, permitting and
prohibiting empty streets. But in these quiet hours, nothing stirs.
At least, nothing human.
Dead End steered a languid circle, neither knowing nor caring where the
lights directed him, hypnotized by the almost silent hum of his
precision-tuned engine and the irregular-infrequent flash of
streetlights reflected wine-red in his own hood.
He was a Decepticon, he owned the night. He was at one with the night.
And, Dead End realized gradually, he was hungry.
Feeding this late at night was a chore. He circled for a good
half-cycle before he found the right sort. Walking home well after any
sane hour (clubbing?) a little unsteady on her feet. He studied her
backside with interest. Bone structure and developing musculature was
a match with the ideal target profile, a girl in her teens.
Gently, Dead End switched down gears, pulling up behind her almost
noiselessly. He could turn onto the sidewalk and force her- why, what
luck, it wouldn't even be necessary! The girl turned to shortcut
through the alley. With an mental shrug, Dead End simply turned and
followed, sides almost scraping against the brickwork.
Now the girl noticed him, even his baffled engine amplified by the
walls on either side. She began to run. He accelerated smoothly. She
was running full-out, hoping to escape.
He gunned forward, playfully bumping her legs, which sent her
sprawling. He pumped the brakes, not quite running her over, her legs
kicked against his undercarriage.
He transformed over her, now straddling the shaking human. "What's the
point in fighting girl?" he asked reaching to turn her over on her
back, "Just give up- ow!" His advice was rewarded with a kicked from
the girl's sneakers.
"Who're you calling a girl?"
Dead End blinked as he saw the human below him for the first time.
Torn black jeans, mesh shirt and fingerless gloves and, despite the
delicate bone structure, most definitely not a girl at all.
"Ah... whups?"
Dead End backed out of the alley, tires screeching as he turned back
into the road. How thoroughly embarrassing, and useless.
The boy emerged from the alley at a jog, glaring after him. "What is
this?" He demanded. "Look at this, you tore my jeans!"
"Human, those jeans were already torn."
"On purpose. This is just a big ugly hole. I paid for these you
know." He fumed.
"Why would you pay for pants that have holes in them?"
His face screwed up in irritation. "you're such a adult."
The insult, coming in two-syllables, hurt for some reason. And he was
still hungry. Dead End growled back. "I don't have time for this.
Move."
He responded by walking up to Dead End, and kicking his bumper,
sneakers leaving a distinct black smudge on his red bodywork. "You're
totally paying for these."
"Human," Dead End's voice dropped to a growl, hunger gnawing at him,
"we all die sometime. If you don't want your time to be now, you will
move!"
"Bitch, you tore my jeans."
Something gave inside Dead End, eroded by hunger and (frankly) weeks of
ongoing indignity. Who cares, he decided? "Fine!" He popped his
locks and swung his passenger door open. "Take your chances!" he
growled, sounding deep and menacing.
"Sweet!" The human got in.
...crap.
Dead End sighed as the human entered his passenger side. What was
wrong with youth today? He wanted to scare the kid off, and now he was
inside! This was so embarrassing, if any of the other Stunticons ever
found out...
He could always simply mistransform and squish him, Dead End supposed,
though that would leave an awful mess to clean up. That would be his
contingency plan if he ran into anyone he knew. But now he had to deal
with this one, and he was still hungry! Murdertron was right, all life
is miserable.
"Turn right here." The kid said suddenly. Dead End obliged without
thinking, then grimaced. Time to lay down some ground rules.
He puffed the kid with his air conditioning, making him blink and rub
his eyes. Good, it moved his hair out of the way so he could see.
"Kid, what's your name?"
"Shannon." he replied. "Shannon Tanaka."
Dead End computed on this for a moment, finally- "Isn't Shannon a-"
"IT CAN SO BE A BOY'S NAME!" Shannon huffed down into the seat, arms
crossed. Then, almost absently. "Turn left at the next light."
"Look, Shannon, this is not the way things are supposed to go. You're
supposed to be running in terror away from the big bad evil robot."
"You can stop here." Shannon said, seemingly agreeing.
He let Shannon out, and was rewarded with a kick to his tires when he
signaled to pull out again. "Hey robot, here."
"Huh?"
He tapped the window of the store, all shuttered up for the night.
"You're replacing my pants."
"Huh?" Dead End repeated, wishing desperately for a more-cleverer
reply.
"The window, unless you have a Visa in there."
He groaned. "You want me to break into a store for you? Kid- get a
brick."
"It's plexiglass. Come on. The sooner you do this, the sooner I can
go home and get some sleep. It's a school day tomorrow."
Conflagration take it all, who cared? Dead End reared up half way, one
door dislocating down against his left front tire, which swung out,
allowing him to free an arm. He reached over, and casually punched in
the plexiglass storefront. As an afterthought he stopped and cleared
the shards from the bottom of the sill.
Shannon vaulted over the broken-in window and disappeared into the
store. Somewhere inside, an alarm was tingling. Dead End tried to
puzzle out how, exactly, things had come to this end.
Shannon emerged some minutes later, several bulging drawstring bags in
hand, and tapped Dead End's passenger door. Reflexively, he opened up,
then winced as the boy sat inside. "Brass'll be here in a couple
minutes. Go."
Dead End started to argue, then just stopped. It wasn't worth it,
especially not if it meant getting caught.
He sighed. "I can't believe I just helped rob a Hot Topic."
Shannon flipped the hair out of his eyes, and tore one of the bags
open, spreading various trinkets across the open drivers seat. He
reached the bottom of the bag, and still there was no evidence of
pants.
"Clean the place out while you were in there, huh?"
Shannon spared him only one glance across his dash that left Dead End
feeling very stupid before opening the next bag and removing a pair of
pants, much more elaborate than the ones he was now wearing, noted Dead
End.
Shannon leaned forward to pull off his shoes, at last sparing the
attention to bother asking- "So why did you grab me earlier anyway?"
"Ah..." Dead End's hunger, no longer suppressed by his general
mortification, returned full force. "Kidnapping. Ransom. Evil
Decepticon stuff."
Shannon leaned back, and kicked him right under the glove compartment,
causing the entire car to jump. Thankfully, he'd removed the shoes
already.
"Ow!"
"My family's poor, and you thought I was a girl. These are not the
signs of a well-planned kidnapping attempt. Try again."
Dead End grumbled and trailed off, hoping he wouldn't have to answer.
Shannon again poked Deed End with his sock. "C'mon, give. Just
because I dress like this doesn't mean I'm stupid."
"I never said that." ...he had been thinking it though.
Shannon again leaned back, and popped the buttons on his ruined pants.
"So, what's with the grabbing of girls late at night?"
Dead End groaned. He did not want to have this conversation. He
should just mis-transform and squish the human, but then he'd be
picking pieces out of his mechanisms for weeks. "Maybe I should just
take you home." He offered, hoping to change the topic.
"Pfft." Shannon pulled the pants off, momentarily shoved to one side
and Dead End made another random turn, and rolled his eyes. "You are
such an adult."
Again, the insult hurt.
"Give. You can't claim I don't have a right to know." He removed his
socks, cracking his toes.
That, at least, was true. Very well then, "I'm was looking for
something to recharge my Jinchokon Converter."
"Which is what, exactly?" Shannon rummaged in one of the remaining
bags.
"Jinchokon, I gather, is a energy field (or form of energy, I'm not
sure) which humans have access too and Transformers don't. The
converter lets me tap it through you."
"Don't you use, whatsitcalled for that?"
"Energon, yes. Well, no, this body used fuel cells, it was built on
Earth. And I can't get them either because it was stolen, so I'm
actually running on a... this is not the point. Jinchokon isn't for
basic energy, it's more powerful, a major systems boost."
"Like adrenaline?" Shannon found what he was looking for, and tore
open a plastic package.
"Moreso! The system bleed over is- what the hell is that?"
Shannon grinned, illuminated by the passing streetlight. "Underwear."
"They sell Decepticon underwear at Hot Topic?"
"I thought you'd appreciate the irony." He shook them out.
"No, Megatron would appreciate the irony."
"Huh?"
"Nevermind." He winced as the human accidentally stuck him with his
toenails as he shimmied out of his old underwear into the new.
"What do you think?" Shannon grinned, licking his teeth.
"Never have the Decepticon colors flown more proudly."
"Sarcasm, good." Shannon nodded. "So, powerups. Why'd you think I
was a girl?"
"Well, from behind-"
"Let me rephrase this- why were you after a girl?"
"Oh. Well, Jinchokon is contained by the human morphogenic field,
which Transformers can't directly access. The human has to open
themselves and let it flow through them. My onboard equipment," Dead
End chose his words carefully, "is designed to provoke a physiological
state where the boundaries of the self open." He continued, "There are
some physiological differences between males and females, and the
equipment was designed for girls."
Shannon processed this and he pulled his pants on. He pursed his lips
for several long moments over the 'boundaries of self open' portion.
Now, if that meant completely open and vulnerable, then the
equipment... "Is this some kind of Robot-Hentai thing then?"
Dead End felt what little remained of his dignity collapse around his
axles. He mumbled the reply.
Shannon poked him.
"YES, EXACTLY!"
He laughed, and shook his head. "Wow. Decepticons."
"This was not my idea! Don't lay this on me. It's all Megatron's new
advisor."
"His new evil advisor?"
"That kinda goes with the territory."
"I suppose. Turn off here." Shannon directed him to an abandoned
building.
"What's here?"
"Someplace I can dump this stuff so it doesn't all show up in my room.
You can get inside from around back."
Indeed, Dead End crackled across the litter as they drove around, the
back was open, and frequent playground for grafito-tagging by look.
Shannon re-stuffed the bags and trotted into the building, stowing them
behind a piece of plasterboard.
"Where do I take you from here?"
"Got a friend that lives nearbye. I'll go to school with her. And,"
he grinned, "warn her not to walk home alone at night." He cocked his
head. "You need a place to crash? You can stay back here, no one'll
bother you."
"No, I have to go out still. I haven't... in a couple days."
"What, this conversion stuff? You have to do it?"
"I have an exponential generator for basic power. But once you've had
the Jinchokon, you get... hungry for it. Hungry all the time." Dead
End's voice dropped low.
"That's not hungry dude."
"It's not?"
"Humans call that 'horny'."
"I... don't follow."
"And maybe that's for the best." Shannon brushed his hair aside and
gave him a grin, then frowned as he noticed the black mark marring Dead
End's red bumper for the first time. "Is that where I kicked you?"
He made a noncommittal noise.
"Aw, that's not right." Shannon stooped down and rubbed at the mark
with his thumb. "I bet this will come out."
"I'll probably have to buff it out." Dead End said mournfully.
"Let me." Shannon rubbed it with his sleeve, then leaned in, and a
huffed hot wet breath on the spot before trying again.
"Human, you're not going to be able to-"
"Hush," he said firmly, "it just needs some elbow grease." He licked
the spot directly, making a face at the volatilized-rubber taste, and
rubbed again, slower. In circles.
"Shannon..."
He shushed the Decepticon. "Less talk." Shannon leaned in against the
mark again and let his mouth wander up its length. The texture and
taste of the bumper was distinct next to the black rubber, and he
traced its outline. Dead End had gone very quiet now, and Shannon
wondered if he could feel his outer skin, he'd certainly jumped enough
when he kicked him inside. So he stretched his hand out down the
length of the bumper, and leaned into the Transformer, pulling in
close. His hand reached the car's hood, and felt the moist, hot breath
there.
Shannon smiled, took a breath, then leaned in, and opened himself.
Afterward, he grinned self-consciously, wiped his mouth and the bumper,
and stood. "Maybe you're right. I don't think that's coming out." He
kicked Dead End's tires playfully. "Oh well. What're your plans for
the night?"
"Um, I think... maybe I'll just stay here for the night."
"Cool." Shannon couldn't look directly at the Decepticon, he kept his
eyes in his shoes, grinning. "Maybe I'll see you around." He shook
his head so his hair fell back into his eyes, and sauntered off.
Dead End gave himself several minutes for his systems to cool, staring
up at the stars, letting the thoughts settle slowly. By the time his
engine stopped tic'ing down, he was able to form complete sentences.
"Wow, Starscream was right. Emo boys are easier."
Deathsauras
IMO,at the very least the KISS TF BT stuff is STRAIGHT.
Thunderous Citizen Iron Moose!
news:1156675566.7...@i3g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
> Sounds like a gay (Micheal Jackson) TF fanfic.
>
> IMO,at the very least the KISS TF BT stuff is STRAIGHT.
Why are you a homophobe, Deathy?
(also, so little happens in that story anyway. )
--
B*a*r*o*n*z*e*m*o*1*3*@*y*a*h*o*o*.*c*a*
robo_rob
Part of me enjoyed the fic as a entertaining interchange beween a human
and a Decepticon.
The other was very uncomferatable with the homo erotica at the end.
Good job.
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
Pfft, Emo boys arent' gay, they're just doing it for the attention!
(Or so they say.)
-Derik
Andrew Burton
> Transformers: Kiss-Players
> Emo Boys are Easy
> by Derik Smith
Is this the second or third time you've had some kid help a Transformer
get off? And that's not counting that poor hamster.
Nicely done. I love your ability to mix both the Transformer mythos
with pop culture. Very sweet!
--
Andrew Burton
tugly...@aol.com
http://utilitarian.us - A Guide to Esoteric Technology in Paragon City
http://jarodrussell.livejournal.com/ - Take a guess. ;)
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
> Derik 'Inessi' Smith wrote:
> > Transformers: Kiss-Players
> > Emo Boys are Easy
> > by Derik Smith
>
> Is this the second or third time you've had some kid help a Transformer
> get off? And that's not counting that poor hamster.
It sounds so... wrong when you put it that way.
This is Takara's twisted concept, Takara's!
-Derik
Gustavo Wombat
> Transformers: Kiss-Players
> Emo Boys are Easy
> by Derik Smith
That was truly odd. You ... moved me.
--Gustavo
Deathsauras
Takara's!"
NO,Takara's Kiss play stuff is STRAIGHT.
Your fanfic is GAY.
Micheal Jackson would probably enjoy reading your gay TF fanfic.
Micheal Jackson writes: "Thanks for the fanfic Derik,me,webster & mc
cully culkin enjoyed it."
David Willis
>
> Your fanfic is GAY.
No, Deathy, what's gay is that buttsex we had last night. Look, I'm horny,
can I come over again at midnight?
I'll fix you breakfast.
--David
www.shortpacked.com
M Sipher
>>NO,Takara's Kiss play stuff is STRAIGHT.
>>
>>Your fanfic is GAY.
>
>
> No, Deathy, what's gay is that buttsex we had last night. Look, I'm horny,
> can I come over again at midnight?
>
> I'll fix you breakfast.
Man, Dave. I wouldn't fuck Deathy with a stolen dick.
M "MAYBE a Ten-Meter Cattle Prod..." Sipher
Starshadow
news:vDuIg.3721$ty5...@tornado.southeast.rr.com...
Knock it off, you guys! You're making me HOT! >:-)
Then again, that WOULDN'T be gay.....just really, REALLY messed up. ;)
*****Starshadow*****
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
Deathsauras wrote:
> Derik 'Inessi' Smith wrote: "This is Takara's twisted concept,
> Takara's!"
>
> NO,Takara's Kiss play stuff is STRAIGHT.
>
> Your fanfic is GAY.
You're such a fucking a-dult.
-Derik
robo_rob
You guys cut it out before we get a lecture about how having sex with
underaged boys is normal in other cultures :P
robo_rob, who now wonders how many preachers read this group.
David Willis
"M Sipher" <msi...@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:vDuIg.3721$ty5...@tornado.southeast.rr.com...
> David Willis wrote:
>
>>>NO,Takara's Kiss play stuff is STRAIGHT.
>>>
>>>Your fanfic is GAY.
>>
>>
>> No, Deathy, what's gay is that buttsex we had last night. Look, I'm
>> horny, can I come over again at midnight?
>>
>> I'll fix you breakfast.
>
> Man, Dave. I wouldn't fuck Deathy with a stolen dick.
Well, you're not half the men in New York. They all say Deathy's the
biggest gay piece of ass who's ever done four dudes at once.
Deathy LOVES the cock.
--David
www.shortpacked.com
Chad Rushing
>
> robo_rob, who now wonders how many preachers read this group.
I'm not sure about preachers per se, but I'm sure there a good number
of social/moral conservatives who do as we Transfans are a varied
bunch.
- Chad
David Willis
"Chad Rushing" <not...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1156768821....@74g2000cwt.googlegroups.com...
Wait, there's nonsocial/immoral conservatives? Awesome. They sound like a
fun bunch.
--David
www.shortpacked.com
Chad Rushing
>
> Wait, there's nonsocial/immoral conservatives? Awesome. They sound like a
> fun bunch.
I'm sure there are. But, for the sake of clarification, I was
contrasting social/moral conservatives with moderates or liberals. I
am sure that there are ATTers all over the spectrum.
- Chad
necrotron
"robo_rob" <galvat...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1156745746....@74g2000cwt.googlegroups.com...
>
> You guys cut it out before we get a lecture about how having sex with
> underaged boys is normal in other cultures :P
LOL!
Now, in ancient Greek culture...
Joe
Necrotron
... kdding. kidding.
David Willis
Mostly the self-label "moral conservatives" makes me cringe. It's not that
conservatives can't be moral, it's the idea that nobody else is that's kind
of retarded.
--David
SO OFFTOPIC NOW
www.shortpacked.com
robo_rob
EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
> Mostly the self-label "moral conservatives" makes me cringe. It's not that
> conservatives can't be moral, it's the idea that nobody else is that's kind
> of retarded.
Start looking at the loading of the terms.Conservative- to conserve, to
hold on to, an implicationt hat if this is not conserved- preserved- it
will be lost forever, liek a prevcious resource that can only diminish
over time.
Liberal - free generous and unconstrained. it doesnt' SOUNd like a
negative term, until you set it in opposition tot he conservatives- who
uphold their sacred duty. The liberals dont' care about strict rules
or preserving things, they'll empty the graneries in the winter- hey
doens't food want to be a FREE?- with no thought to what we'll have to
plant the next season. Only the conservatives can stand against them1
The FORWARD-THINKERS, who must be stodgy upholders of the Right Way to
do things, not the free-wheeling feel-good liberal way or it all goes
to ruin. it is easy to be permissive, and hard to say no, but that is
their charge!
When the very terms we're using to frame the debate are loaded like
this, how can you hope to have open communication?
Here's a hint- liberal and conservative dont' have complimentary
dictionary definitions. Thus the ACTUAL agendas (on both sides) don't
line up with their names. They're probably somewhere in the same
region,but you have to ask yourself... what is being concealed here?
When stated agendas an actual agendas dont' line up, somethign is
wrong.
(To turn it around, why aren't the NRA and the ACLU best friends? The
ACLU believes in the broadest possible application of the bill of
rights, includign the second amendment.)
There is a WILLFUL decision in effect not to challenge the terms of the
debate we're being handed. so is it any wonder the debate yields up no
results? It's not a level playing field where two sides can meet- it's
a distorted playing field engineered to prevent any meeting of the
minds.
-Derik
Chad Rushing
David Willis wrote:
>
> Mostly the self-label "moral conservatives" makes me cringe.
Hmm, how about "moral traditionalists" then as a more tolerable label?
The labels themselves ("conservative", "moderate", "liberal", etc.) are
not that important as long as people understand the philosophical
divisions they are meant to denote.
> It's not that conservatives can't be moral, it's the idea that nobody
> else is that's kind of retarded.
Those "moral conservatives" probably do -not- think that no one else
can be moral; they just think that others -do- have moral systems, but
that those systems are too lenient, too conditional, and/or too vague.
On the other hand, "moral liberals" think that the moral systems of
"moral conservatives" are too restrictive, too inflexible, and/or too
imperative. "Moderates" are defined as being somewhere in the
ill-defined middle, I guess.
- Chad
Chad Rushing
>
> When the very terms we're using to frame the debate are loaded like
> this, how can you hope to have open communication?
> Here's a hint- liberal and conservative dont' have complimentary
> dictionary definitions. Thus the ACTUAL agendas (on both sides) don't
> line up with their names. They're probably somewhere in the same
> region,but you have to ask yourself... what is being concealed here?
> When stated agendas an actual agendas dont' line up, somethign is
> wrong.
Ah, truly, we do live in the age of euphemisms. However, I really do
not know what other terms could viably be used in common conversation
these days.
Some "liberals" have tried to redefine themselves as "progressives,"
but then, you get back to the issue of everyone not defining "progress"
in society or government the same way. I am not sure what other labels
"conservatives" might have come up for themselves (although I proposed
"traditionalists" in another response).
And, then, you could get into the second layer of the labels such as
"socially conservative/fiscally liberal" or "socially liberal/fiscally
conservative" which muddies the waters even more.
> There is a WILLFUL decision in effect not to challenge the terms of the
> debate we're being handed. so is it any wonder the debate yields up no
> results? It's not a level playing field where two sides can meet- it's
> a distorted playing field engineered to prevent any meeting of the
> minds.
The problem is that there a lot of people on both sides of the playing
field who really have -zero- interest in the field being "level" as
continuing confusion works in favor of their self-interests to the
detriment of the debate as a whole.
However, personally speaking, I have found that the most constructive
conversations I have ever had with people of differing mindsets have
been ones in which we both agreed to leave our emotional baggage at
home like two Vulcans and to just deal with the ideas and their
foundational premises after clearly defining our terms. Very often, I
have found that we actually agree on the problems at hand; it is the
proposed solutions to those problems where the disagreement truly lies.
- Chad
Orson "Sidecutter" Christian
news:1156745746....@74g2000cwt.googlegroups.com...
>
> underaged boys is normal in other cultures :P
>
>
> robo_rob, who now wonders how many preachers read this group.
Do not decry the morals of the Romans! They gave rise to the way our entire
civilization works!
And how dare you question the poor Catholic leaders.
Why do I feel the sad, sad need to point out the SARCASM?
Phillip Thorne
>> You guys cut it out before we get a lecture about how having sex with
>> underaged boys is normal in other cultures :P
On Mon, 28 Aug 2006, "necrotron" <necr...@biteme.spambot.com> wrote:
>LOL!
>Now, in ancient Greek culture...
It happens that I recently read a text on ancient Greece (_A Brief
History of Ancient Greece: Politics, Society, and Culture_, Oxford
University Press 2004) because, hey, I haven't studied the topic since
high school. I'm therefore going to start at Necrotron's off-handed
comment and blather on like Lieutenant Commander Data from ST:TNG,
even though nobody cares. :)
1. Ancient Greek culture isn't a single thing: it spanned about 1500
years, dozens of city-states, and several languages and writing
systems.
2. Most of what we know about it derives from the fraction of writings
from Athens that survive, and much of *that* was hardly objective.
Bad-mouthing commercial and military rivals, and such.
3. In the city-states that *did* have homosexual relations, e.g.
Sparta, they were just as constrained by social mores as any other
form of sex. By definition, the junior partner wasn't underaged -- he
was a military trainee.
(As far as Sparta was concerned, *everybody* was in the military,
except for the helots, the conquered people who acted as agricultural
slaves. And although a decadeof man-boy sex may have inculcated
social values effectively, it didn't do much for family life, as
evidenced by several centuries of declining Spartan population.)
4. The concept of man-boy sex squicked even some of the ancient Greek
writers. And those who weren't deriding it, were using euphemisms.
All that said, I'm sure there's a lost comedy by a noted playwright,
Aeschylus or Euripedes or Sophocles, in which a boy has hot tongue-sex
with a talking chariot after being abducted in a case of mistaken
identity. (Really? No, not really.)
I now return you to your regularly-scheduled /bon mots/.
/- Phillip Thorne ----------- The Non-Sequitur Express --------------------\
| org underbase ta thorne www.underbase.org It's the boundary |
| net comcast ta pethorne site, newsletter, blog conditions that |
\------------------------------------------------------- get you ----------/
Phillip Thorne
>Transformers: Kiss-Players
>Emo Boys are Easy
> by Derik Smith
>He sighed. "I can't believe I just helped rob a Hot Topic."
Would D.E. even know what a Hot Topic *is*? Or care? We do, which is
what makes it funny, but does that knowledge confer any combat
advantage to him?
>"They sell Decepticon underwear at Hot Topic?"
>"I thought you'd appreciate the irony." He shook them out.
>"No, Megatron would appreciate the irony."
"And then he'd crush you for the effrontery."
>"Nevermind." He winced as the human accidentally stuck him with his
>toenails as he shimmied out of his old underwear into the new.
To wince requires a tactile perception in Dead End's interior. Given
the number of times TFs on the G1 show were chopped up without so much
as a whimper, they don't seem to have that. Would the
human-engineered replacement bodies have this? Even if they had the
sensors, is a Transformer brain equipped to feel it? Given the
frequency with which they change bodies, is the Cybertronian
somatosensory cortex unusually flexible?
>"Never have the Decepticon colors flown more proudly."
Have they ever, technically, *flown*? On a flag raised on a mast?
Hmmm, maybe in "Megatron's Master Plan."
>"Oh. Well, Jinchokon is contained by the human morphogenic field,
>which Transformers can't directly access.
Morphogenic: there's a fringe-science term I haven't seen in a while.
A "Doctor Who" novel used it to explain the ability of vampires and
Time Lords to regenerate.
>The human has to open
>themselves and let it flow through them. My onboard equipment," Dead
>End chose his words carefully, "is designed to provoke a physiological
>state where the boundaries of the self open." He continued, "There are
>some physiological differences between males and females, and the
>equipment was designed for girls."
This induces images of... y'know... all manner of
robotically-enhanced, uh, stimulators. And did the human engineers of
the Binaltech project create these (somehow suppressing snickers all
the while), or was it a Decepticon innovation? And if so, from a
complexity standpoint, it would've been easier to use males. (I.e.,
video playback screen and a memory card loaded with _50 Years of
Playboy Centerfolds_.)
It would be funnier if "the equipment" consisted of a selection of
plush animals. :)
>"I have an exponential generator for basic power. [...]
Exponential generator? Ya gotta be careful with those things or,
y'know, you could BLOW UP THE STINKIN' PLANET. (Not that D.E. would
care overmuch.)
>"Hush," he said firmly, "it just needs some elbow grease." He licked
>the spot directly, making a face at the volatilized-rubber taste, and
>rubbed again, slower. In circles.
Perceptor: "It appears, young human, that you require a remedial
course in humanoid anatomy! The elbow, and the grease thereof,
constitute the medial juncture of the arm, or 'brachium.' They are
not components of the face."
Ugh! Kid, you don't know what that bumper has *been*! It could be
covered with anything. Bug residue. Turtle Wax. Squashed
teenybopper.
>"Cool." Shannon couldn't look directly at the Decepticon, he kept his
>eyes in his shoes, grinning. "Maybe I'll see you around." He shook
>his head so his hair fell back into his eyes, and sauntered off.
Ironically, the two of them later discover that jinchokon can serve as
a conduit for psychological and spiritual infection. D.E. finds
himself unaccountably obsessed with human fads, and Shannon is
afflicted with a deep existential malaise.
>Dead End gave himself several minutes for his systems to cool, staring
>up at the stars, letting the thoughts settle slowly. By the time his
>engine stopped tic'ing down, he was able to form complete sentences.
What's the point of absorbing jinchokon if he's paralyzed with
afterglow for a while? That's hardly a *combat* power-up. Does he
store it in batteries for later, when he's not so distracted?
>"Wow, Starscream was right. Emo boys are easier."
I am unfamiliar with the term "emo boys." And since Starscream
doesn't have a Binaltech body, how would he know? (And re: Tracks and
Carlos -- let's not even *go* there.)
It's not homosexual! It's (cue "Futurama") robosexual! :)
The question is: why would Shannon-it-is-too-a-boy's-name be attracted
to Dead End? He might be expressing a sense of gratitude -- "you
didn't kill me, and you helped me steal this stuff" -- but this is a
weird way to express it. Weeeeiiird. I presume that "faking it"
wouldn't activate the jinchokon channel.
And although human males and females may differ physiologically,
apparently their jinchokon is equivalent. Or, at least, the
human-designed jinchokon receptor is compatible with both types.
I don't think Dead End was depicted as sufficiently depressive. He
should have driven off a bridge a few times.
And, a final observation: this demonstrates why humans were always
destined to win the war against the Decepticons, no matter the
overwhelming difference in firepower. Humans can take control of any
conversation, and talk absolutely anything to death. :)
Dave Van Domelen
Phillip Thorne <tho...@underbase.org> wrote:
>On 27 Aug 2006, "Derik 'Inessi' Smith" <ReGen...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>>Transformers: Kiss-Players
>>Emo Boys are Easy
>> by Derik Smith
>
>>He sighed. "I can't believe I just helped rob a Hot Topic."
>
>Would D.E. even know what a Hot Topic *is*? Or care? We do, which is
>what makes it funny, but does that knowledge confer any combat
>advantage to him?
The final line in the story sheds light on this. Presumably, if
Starscream advised Dead End on the matter of emo boys in the first place, he
would also have provided some notes on habitat and environs.
I should also note that Derik's clearly working from a blended setting,
mixing in bits of Alternators/Binaltech, KissPlay, and G1. So a lot of
"inconsistencies" are simply a matter of how he picked his background
elements.
>>"They sell Decepticon underwear at Hot Topic?"
>>"I thought you'd appreciate the irony." He shook them out.
>>"No, Megatron would appreciate the irony."
>
>"And then he'd crush you for the effrontery."
Well, yeah. If he could be bothered. It's not like humans are worth
his notice in general.
>
>>"Nevermind." He winced as the human accidentally stuck him with his
>>toenails as he shimmied out of his old underwear into the new.
>
>To wince requires a tactile perception in Dead End's interior. Given
>the number of times TFs on the G1 show were chopped up without so much
>as a whimper, they don't seem to have that. Would the
>human-engineered replacement bodies have this? Even if they had the
>sensors, is a Transformer brain equipped to feel it? Given the
>frequency with which they change bodies, is the Cybertronian
>somatosensory cortex unusually flexible?
Given that an analogue to sexual stimulation is core to this story, it's
certainly plausible that Dead End has more tactile sensors in general. And,
in any case, he could be wincing in aesthetic "pain" at the possible damage
to his upholstery...it doesn't hurt, he's just picked up some vanity.
>>"Oh. Well, Jinchokon is contained by the human morphogenic field,
>>which Transformers can't directly access.
>
>Morphogenic: there's a fringe-science term I haven't seen in a while.
>A "Doctor Who" novel used it to explain the ability of vampires and
>Time Lords to regenerate.
Appears in comicbooks pretty often, especially ones with Brit writers.
>>"I have an exponential generator for basic power. [...]
>
>Exponential generator? Ya gotta be careful with those things or,
>y'know, you could BLOW UP THE STINKIN' PLANET. (Not that D.E. would
>care overmuch.)
Well, keep in mind that Starscream (who is a technical expert) had to
mess around with the original EG to make it go flooey. It was just sitting
there humming away happily for who knows how long before Starscream did
that.
>>"Cool." Shannon couldn't look directly at the Decepticon, he kept his
>>eyes in his shoes, grinning. "Maybe I'll see you around." He shook
>>his head so his hair fell back into his eyes, and sauntered off.
>
>Ironically, the two of them later discover that jinchokon can serve as
>a conduit for psychological and spiritual infection. D.E. finds
>himself unaccountably obsessed with human fads, and Shannon is
>afflicted with a deep existential malaise.
Shannon's an emo boy, so he already has at least a shallow existential
malaise.
>>Dead End gave himself several minutes for his systems to cool, staring
>>up at the stars, letting the thoughts settle slowly. By the time his
>>engine stopped tic'ing down, he was able to form complete sentences.
>
>What's the point of absorbing jinchokon if he's paralyzed with
>afterglow for a while? That's hardly a *combat* power-up. Does he
>store it in batteries for later, when he's not so distracted?
I expect he wasn't paralyzed, it's just a matter of being so keyed up
it's frenzy or nothing. In other words, if there was something there to
fight, he'd have been in prime form. Instead, he just enjoyed the rush for a
while.
>>"Wow, Starscream was right. Emo boys are easier."
>
>I am unfamiliar with the term "emo boys." And since Starscream
>doesn't have a Binaltech body, how would he know? (And re: Tracks and
>Carlos -- let's not even *go* there.)
See above for mixed continuities. And emo's a label that's been around
for a decade or so. Suffice to say, Shannon exhibits most of the defining
traits in this story (although emo boys do not in general have relations with
cars).
>
>It's not homosexual! It's (cue "Futurama") robosexual! :)
As someone else pointed out (either in this thread or on the AllSpark),
emo boys aren't usually gay, they just act fey to get attention.
>The question is: why would Shannon-it-is-too-a-boy's-name be attracted
>to Dead End? He might be expressing a sense of gratitude -- "you
>didn't kill me, and you helped me steal this stuff" -- but this is a
>weird way to express it. Weeeeiiird. I presume that "faking it"
>wouldn't activate the jinchokon channel.
Emo is all about acting out to get attention, then acting like you're
too cool to want attention. Getting involved with an evil giant robot is an
excellent way to do this. Plus, Dead End is pretty emo in his own way, so
there's that whole kindred spirit deal.
>I don't think Dead End was depicted as sufficiently depressive. He
>should have driven off a bridge a few times.
He was in a more passive depressive mode this story.
>And, a final observation: this demonstrates why humans were always
>destined to win the war against the Decepticons, no matter the
>overwhelming difference in firepower. Humans can take control of any
>conversation, and talk absolutely anything to death. :)
Except perhaps Swindle. And NO, I'm not asking for a sequel with
Swindle in it. Or any sequel.
Dave Van Domelen, too pedantic to avoid responding on this thread
forever. :)
Derik 'Inessi' Smith
> On 27 Aug 2006, "Derik 'Inessi' Smith" <ReGen...@aol.com> wrote:
>
> >Transformers: Kiss-Players
> >Emo Boys are Easy
> > by Derik Smith
>
> >He sighed. "I can't believe I just helped rob a Hot Topic."
>
> Would D.E. even know what a Hot Topic *is*?
He's been on Earth for 20 years. I have always been of the opinion
that Transformers are extremely subject to cultural contamination.
I know what a Hot Topic is. Iv'e never even been inside one. Why
would I know?
(Side Note: Hot Topic apparently is now selling Heroes of Cybertron
PVC's. Possible motivation to finally enter.)
DVD, however, wrote:
> I should also note that Derik's clearly working from a blended setting,
> mixing in bits of Alternators/Binaltech, KissPlay, and G1. So a lot of
> "inconsistencies" are simply a matter of how he picked his background
> elements.
No I'm not. I'm merely workign fromt he assumptiont hat Kiss Player
takes place in Binaltech continuity. Sicne the tail end of Binaltech
included Autobots paired with Prettty Girls for little apparent reason,
this assumption is not entirely unsupported by circumstance.
Storywise, the whole 'tongue rape' thing seems not to have come up in
the original BT timeline, but BT ended with a time-reset. NOT back to
the original cartoon (as most people seem to assume, since that would
the the thematically-normal way to do it) but back to, say the creation
of BT#4. They left the cosmic rust attack in, in the hopes that the
subsequent invention of Project Bodyshop (the Gt Ststem specifically)
would enable tf's to survive the massacare at Autobot City. (and thus,
the new loop 'could' end in the 2010 cartoon.)
But this story itself? BT continuity- somewhere... udner the
assumption that KP is part of BT.
> >"They sell Decepticon underwear at Hot Topic?"
> >"I thought you'd appreciate the irony." He shook them out.
> >"No, Megatron would appreciate the irony."
>
> "And then he'd crush you for the effrontery."
... Megatron, irony...
IT'S A LONGSTANDING JOKE, MEGATROn"S ABUSE OF THE DEFINITION THEREOF.
Dead End is telling a JOKE at MEGATRON'S expense (somethign he probably
only dares to do ont he assumption it woudl escape the human anyway.)
> >"Nevermind." He winced as the human accidentally stuck him with his
> >toenails as he shimmied out of his old underwear into the new.
>
> To wince requires a tactile perception in Dead End's interior. Given
> the number of times TFs on the G1 show were chopped up without so much
> as a whimper, they don't seem to have that.
And yet, other times they had extremely complicated tactile responses.
Skids, for isntance, loved having his hood washed.
Going more DIRECTLY here, IIRC the Marissa/Convoy kiss script (the one
with the analingus metaphor) has Convoy quiverign in anticipation of
having his upholstery cleaned as a cute tag at the end. (I'm goign by
secondhand reports.) So going by closest-source-material sources, they
do have tacticle sense on their interiors.
Dave wrote:
>Given that an analogue to sexual stimulation is core to this story, it's
> certainly plausible that Dead End has more tactile sensors in general. And,
> in any case, he could be wincing in aesthetic "pain" at the possible damage
> to his upholstery...it doesn't hurt, he's just picked up some vanity.
Dead End always had vanity. Wasn't he the one who at least wanted to
leave a good-looking shell when he died, and thus constantly polished
his shinplates or something?
> >"Never have the Decepticon colors flown more proudly."
>
> Have they ever, technically, *flown*? On a flag raised on a mast?
> Hmmm, maybe in "Megatron's Master Plan."
*shrug* White flag for Surrender in 'Surrender.' Magnus waves a flag
in The Dark Ages with the autobot symbol. That funny 'Destron colors
flag from CR/RiD, lots of examples of the 'con symbol on heraldic
banners... even if the decepticon symbol did nto fly as a flag
specifically, there's ample precedent to make the statement reasonable.
However, I point out that you're completely ignoring the flagpole
imagery match with a human male wearign the decepticon symbol on his
crotch.
Did it honestly escape you, or was this a passive agressive form of
willful ignorance?
> >"Oh. Well, Jinchokon is contained by the human morphogenic field,
> >which Transformers can't directly access.
>
> Morphogenic: there's a fringe-science term I haven't seen in a while.
> A "Doctor Who" novel used it to explain the ability of vampires and
> Time Lords to regenerate.
I wanted a pre-existant term that could be losely applied to
'borders of the self.' I know it's bunk, you know it's bunk, but it's
considered a LEGITIMATE piece of pseudoscience in a science-fiction
setting.
If I wanted to use polywater as the hook for a story, I'd expect
you to accept it as the preposterous-concept-that-drivres-this-story
too.
> >The human has to open
> >themselves and let it flow through them. My onboard equipment," Dead
> >End chose his words carefully, "is designed to provoke a physiological
> >state where the boundaries of the self open." He continued, "There are
> >some physiological differences between males and females, and the
> >equipment was designed for girls."
>
> This induces images of... y'know... all manner of
> robotically-enhanced, uh, stimulators. And did the human engineers of
> the Binaltech project create these (somehow suppressing snickers all
> the while), or was it a Decepticon innovation? And if so, from a
> complexity standpoint, it would've been easier to use males. (I.e.,
> video playback screen and a memory card loaded with _50 Years of
> Playboy Centerfolds_.)
No, this is the work of MEgatron's mysterious new advisor whom Dead End
dislikes.
> >>"I have an exponential generator for basic power. [...]
> >
> >Exponential generator? Ya gotta be careful with those things or,
> >y'know, you could BLOW UP THE STINKIN' PLANET. (Not that D.E. would
> >care overmuch.)
DVD replied:
> Well, keep in mind that Starscream (who is a technical expert) had to
> mess around with the original EG to make it go flooey. It was just sitting
> there humming away happily for who knows how long before Starscream did
> that.
Also keep in mind, this wasn't my idea. Binaltech Dead End was stated
ot have a damped-down exponential generator for power, unlike the
Autobots who used EDC electrocells.
> >"Cool." Shannon couldn't look directly at the Decepticon, he kept his
> >eyes in his shoes, grinning. "Maybe I'll see you around." He shook
> >his head so his hair fell back into his eyes, and sauntered off.
>
> Ironically, the two of them later discover that jinchokon can serve as
> a conduit for psychological and spiritual infection. D.E. finds
> himself unaccountably obsessed with human fads, and Shannon is
> afflicted with a deep existential malaise.
Is that a joke, or a reference ot kiss/play? (I has someone telling
that that Convoy learned to surf when Marissa kissed him or something.)
Doug wrote:
> Shannon's an emo boy, so he already has at least a shallow existential
> malaise.
Wow, you make it seem like there was a theme here. "Pair the
most-emo-of-transformers with actual emo human. Throw in
stock-in-trade emo jokes about hot topics and how emo boys kiss other
emo boys at the drop of a hat."
I love when reviewers make me look good liek that. Shit, I didn't
INTEND anything. I just wrote a buncha words with no regard towards
forming a whole. Kitchen Sink fic man!
> >Dead End gave himself several minutes for his systems to cool, staring
> >up at the stars, letting the thoughts settle slowly. By the time his
> >engine stopped tic'ing down, he was able to form complete sentences.
>
> What's the point of absorbing jinchokon if he's paralyzed with
> afterglow for a while? That's hardly a *combat* power-up. Does he
> store it in batteries for later, when he's not so distracted?
That wasnt' afterglow, just general surprise. And with Shannon gone,
he lacked any motivation to push forward past it, so he just let
himself be surprised until he wanst' anymore. (That's actually a very
healthy thing to do, physiologically speaking. Pushing one's surprise
down has much in common with swallowing a burp.)
> >"Wow, Starscream was right. Emo boys are easier."
>
> I am unfamiliar with the term "emo boys." And since Starscream
> doesn't have a Binaltech body, how would he know? (And re: Tracks and
> Carlos -- let's not even *go* there.)
Well, by BT's story, Starscream is still active in the BT era- he's
just on on Earth. He's the Decepticon contact with the evil humans.
> >>"Wow, Starscream was right. Emo boys are easier."
> >
> >I am unfamiliar with the term "emo boys." And since Starscream
> >doesn't have a Binaltech body, how would he know? (And re: Tracks and
> >Carlos -- let's not even *go* there.)
>
> See above for mixed continuities. And emo's a label that's been around
> for a decade or so. Suffice to say, Shannon exhibits most of the defining
> traits in this story (although emo boys do not in general have relations with
> cars).
Doug wrote:
> emo's a label that's been around
> for a decade or so. Suffice to say, Shannon exhibits most of the defining
> traits in this story (although emo boys do not in general have relations with
> cars).
Here's all he needs to know about ewmo boys:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v157/out_of_season/guys%20kissing/
They are pretty, and they make out like camwhores at the drop of a
cellphone.
> Emo is all about acting out to get attention, then acting like you're
> too cool to want attention. Getting involved with an evil giant robot is an
> excellent way to do this. Plus, Dead End is pretty emo in his own way, so
> there's that whole kindred spirit deal.
*ahem* I shall not get into the psychodynamics of what happens
when someoen deperately trawling for any kind of attention, even
negative, finds themselves unespected on the recieving end of any sort
of positive attention (or in Dead End's case, limited inddulgance.)
> >I don't think Dead End was depicted as sufficiently depressive. He
> >should have driven off a bridge a few times.
>
> He was in a more passive depressive mode this story.
I guess that depends on if yous ee passivity as a sign of distress. I
happen to REALLY LIKE The Life Aquatic, which illustrates extreme
passivity as a form of deep depression quite well.
> >And, a final observation: this demonstrates why humans were always
> >destined to win the war against the Decepticons, no matter the
> >overwhelming difference in firepower. Humans can take control of any
> >conversation, and talk absolutely anything to death. :)
>
> Except perhaps Swindle. And NO, I'm not asking for a sequel with
> Swindle in it. Or any sequel.
This does read rather odd as is, doesn't it?
I should jsut start doing weird experimental tanfic to creep people
out. Long descriptions of Transformers eating sandwiches, or an
darkfic about Kelly from RiD seeking anestetic from her life in
alchohol.
-Derik
Aaron F. Bourque
Or fair treatment, I guess?
Aaron "The Mad Whitaker" Bourque
Aaron F. Bourque
Well, it depends on what it means, doesn't it? Is it someone who is
moral and conservative, or is it someone whose morals are conservative?
And how conservative? 1950s conservative? 1850s conservative? 1150s
conservative?
Aaron "The Mad Whitaker" Bourque; I guess the former is the more common
usage? Is that why the phrase "morally conservative" is out there . . .
Aaron F. Bourque
> 3. In the city-states that *did* have homosexual relations, e.g.
> Sparta,
And homosexual sex was socially taboo in Sparta, too. Mostly because
they needed a large population for the army, heterosexual unions were
mandatory.
Aaron "The Mad Whitaker" Bourque; but then you've got Plato, I think,
or Aristotle, making weird and ignorant comments about the sexes.
Autobus Prime
Funny stuff. Very sly and parodic for a fanfic, and written
way better than a fanfic deserves. You managed to take a
poke at pop culture, pop subcultures, and Kiss-Play at
the same timen while being quite amusing. Good job.
Cordially yours:
Autobus Prime
w/minicon Farebox.