[FANFIC] "The TRANSFORMERS: Dinobot atakk!"

[David "Walky" Willis]

No, I didn't spell that wrong on purpose. It's how I actually spelled it
in second grade. Yep, I found my first TF fanfiction that I ever wrote.
So I'll type it out for you so you can all have a merry old time laughing
at my terrible second-grade story-telling skills! :D

(Ironically enough, "attack" is spelled right on the title page but not
the hand-drawn cover.)

THE TRANSFORMERS: DINOBOT ATTACK

David Willis
Author

David Willis
Illustrator

Tandy 1000, Publisher

March 24, 1987

[First page: Illustration of Decepticon HQ, probably copied from one of the
hardcover story books.]

At Decepticon Headquarters Megitron said, "Soundwave, send the Constructions
to defeat the Autobots. "As you wish," said Soundwave.
Meanwhile at the Ark, Optimus Prime said, "We're having a meeting."

[Second page: Illustration of oddly-colored Ratchet standing at a computer
console with dinosaur image on the screen.]

After the meeting, they set the plan. "This should do it," said Autobot
medical Ratchet.
"Like they say on Earth, we keep on licking, but keep on ticking," said
Jazz.
[?!]

[Third page: Illustration of Devastator combining before Sunstreaker's
eyes.]

While the Constructicons were looking for the Autobots, suddenly 5 dinosaurs
came out.
"Transform!" said Long Haul.
"Nothing can stand the might of Devastador," said Devastador.

[Fourth page: Picture of Grimlock in dinosaur skin covering, but it's being
blasted off from a laser beam shot from above.]

As he shot Tyrannosaurus Rex, suddenly out came Autobot Grimlock! Then out
came the other Autobots! Out of the woods came the Decepticons.

[Fifth page: Picture of Optimus shooting up at Buzzsaw, blasting his head
clear off.]

"You sure blew it, Ratchet,"said Wheeljack.
"Here we go again," said Bumble Bee.
Then Optimas Prime shot Buzzsaw right in the eye!

[And that's the end of it. The last page has been torn out. :/ Sad,
really.]

--David Willis
aka Walky "Wii gii!!"
Supporter (there we go...) and future co-moderator of
Rec.toys.transformers.moderated
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/3548/tf.html
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of
childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -- C.S. Lewis
***
"Good work, Nightbeat, but perhaps cutting it a tad close?" --Siren
"Isn't that what makes it all worthwhile?" --Nightbeat
------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Thylacine 2000]

David "Walky" Willis wrote:

> "Like they say on Earth, we keep on licking, but keep on ticking," said
> Jazz.
> [?!]
>

(Earth:) "Get him *offa* me!!"

:)

[MrBrax]

Why do I think that this will inspire a new line of World's Worst Fanfics?

For example:

Unicron vs. The Death Star

by Brax Cardigan

Page One: Illustration of the Death Star and Unicron

Page Two: The Death Star fired on Unicron.

Page Three: Six-year-old drawing of Unicron transforming, the Death Star firing
on Unicron.

Page Four: Unicron says, "NOOOOO!!!"

Page Five: Crappily colored drawing of robot mode Unicron, punching the Death
Star

Page Six: "Evacuate!" yells Darth Vader.

Page Seven: Lousy drawing of Unicron doing a victory dance.

Page Eight: "And now, for Cybertron!"

THE END

---Brax Cardigan

"You do not have to be a good man for history to remember you as a great
man."-Anonymous

"Live, and the world lives with you. Die, and you die alone."--Another
Anonymous

[Joona I Palaste]

Hey, speaking of very FIRST TF fanfics, how's about I dig up my old
elementary school text "Jos olisin Optimus Prime" ("If I were Optimus
Prime") and post it here, both in original Finnish and in English for
you 4.995 gigapeople outside Finland? I think the text has been written
in about 1987-1989.

--
/----------------------------------------------------------------------\
| Joona Palaste (pal...@cc.helsinki.fi) | | | |
| Kingpriest of "The Flying Lemon Tree" | | | |
| TFA, FtPoW: Stargazer |------- -----------------|
| |------- -----------------|
| G++ FR FW+ M- #80 D+ ADA N+++ W++ B OP+ | | | |
| Finland rules! => | | | |
\----------------------------------------------------------------------/
Cyclonus: What is this place?
Daniel: An ice cream factory?
Cyclonus: You are insolent, Earth boy!
Daniel: Thanks!
--- from "Surprise Party"