Doing Laboratory Work In A Sewage Plant
Malvolio
posting, like Charmin, will not chafe the tender sensibilities of you
regular contributors.
I'm going to tell you about one of the Hallmark Moments I experienced
many years ago during the time I worked as a lab technician in a
sewage plant. Soon after I hired on, the superintendent of the plant
asked me to draw a sample from one of the raw sewage lines and perform
certain tests on it. He gave me cursory instructions on how to draw
the sample and then left the plant for the day (he'd decided that
since I only did lab work, I could work alone at night and provide a
presence in case of emergencies).
Down to the lowest level of the basement I went. I found what I
thought was the sample tap in the 12-inch diameter raw sewage line. I
held the sample bottle under the tap and trustingly opened its valve.
The results were not quite what I was expecting. The engineers who
designed this brand-new sewage plant had made a slight mistake, and
what should have been a sample tap was instead an emergency cut-out
valve (for those armchair quarterbacks who will ask, "How could you
mistake the one for the other, you tard?", let me say that I had never
seen either type, did not know the difference, and was instructed to
use "the valve just above the pump" by the superintendent, who had
never actually drawn a sample in that plant either).
When I opened the valve, about 300 gallons a minute of RAW SEWAGE
blossomed forth like a Niagara of shit. It splattered the floor, the
walls, and ME. If you think that the shit in your toilet smells bad,
bear in mind that the stuff now coating me from chin to heels had been
rotting away in the sewage lines for about three days before arriving
at the plant. Adding to its charm were other components such as urine,
vomit, bloody tampons, used condoms and the occasional dead animal.
Let me help you along in your full appreciation of the
aneurysm-inspiring stench: imagine sticking your nose in the oozing
cunt of a 50-year-old whore with the mother of all yeast infections;
now multiply that by about ten and you will have some notion of what I
was inhaling with every breath.
To make things even more fun, the valve somehow broke and stuck wide
open. In spite of being a big guy and being quite strongly motivated,
I could not budge it one bit. By the time I gave up struggling with
the valve, the floor was inches deep in rotting shit. Now what do I
do? All I could think of was to wade over to the main electrical panel
and hit the emergency kill switch. The pump stopped instantly, and no
more raw sewage cascaded onto the floor.
Unfortunately, all the lights went off too, along with every other
item of equipment in the whole plant, potentially a very dangerous
situation. What I needed to do was hit just that one switch (among
hundreds) that controlled that one particular pump. But with the
lights off, how could I find it? I had no choice but to turn
everything back on, including the torrent of shit. I finally found the
right switch and the pump died, leaving me standing knee-deep in
Satan's diarrhea.
I'm sure you're enjoying this sepia-toned vision of Hell. I'm sure
you'll enjoy it even more when I tell you that the sump pump quit
after about five minutes, having brought the level down by maybe a
quarter inch. I tried unclogging the sump with a broom handle and
other implements, but to no avail. I finally had to get down on all
fours and unclog it with my (gloved) hands. Imagine the delight of
kneeling in that thick, rich soup of filth. Imagine the thrill as it
soaks the crotch of your pants and gently caresses your genitals.
Imagine the fun of pulling unseen soft squishy things out of the
drain. Now imagine doing that every few minutes for about seven hours.
With apologies to Ace Lightning et al. I can say that I didn't puke
even once. This may be hard to believe, but I expect the "emetogenic"
area of my brain was burned out in the first few seconds. It also
helped that I ran back upstairs and put on the gas mask kept in all
sewage plants for just such events; sorry to disappoint.
This humble effort was inspired by that portion of the alt.tasteless
FAQ that speaks of the "me go plop-plop" variety of posting. By making
this post I hope to set a high-water mark (so to speak) for the
plop-plop genre.
Reginleif the Valkyrie
Malv...@dogomania.com wrote on 7/31/02 9:54 PM:
> By the time I gave up struggling with
> the valve, the floor was inches deep in rotting shit.
<snip>
ObPunchline: "Okay, everyone, break's over. Back on your heads."
IMHFO, that was a terrific post. I wouldn't relegate it to the "me go plop
plop" category, though. It's one thing to sit on the toilet and groganate,
no matter how foul-smelling the results. We all do that. It's quite another
thing to be submerged in a _entire room_ full of liquishit, Ace
Delight[ning], cuntrags, Coney Island whitefish, and other hors d'oeuvres.
>I'm going to tell you about one of the Hallmark Moments...
_One_ of the Hallmark Moments? So there are more? I look forward to reading
all of them in due time.
-- Reginleif
Cloud William
Malvolio <Malv...@dogomania.com> wrote
A truly wonderful story of sewage plant mayhem. In the steel mill where I
work there is a city sewage plant. I guess they figured the area was fucked
up enough so why not stick the shit plant in there too.
Every time we have a really bad day where nothing goes right and we're
covered with steel mill goo I look at the shit plant and thank God I don't
work in there. Especially when they have a really bad day.
Ralph Jones
>
> When I opened the valve, about 300 gallons a minute of RAW SEWAGE
> blossomed forth like a Niagara of shit. It splattered the floor, the
> walls, and ME. If you think that the shit in your toilet smells bad,
> bear in mind that the stuff now coating me from chin to heels had been
> rotting away in the sewage lines for about three days before arriving
> at the plant. Adding to its charm were other components such as urine,
> vomit, bloody tampons, used condoms and the occasional dead animal.
> Let me help you along in your full appreciation of the
> aneurysm-inspiring stench: imagine sticking your nose in the oozing
> cunt of a 50-year-old whore with the mother of all yeast infections;
> now multiply that by about ten and you will have some notion of what I
> was inhaling with every breath.
My one experience with an inadvertently opened sewer line was nowhere
near that bad, fortunately. It happened outdoors and at least several
miles from the sewage treatment plant. Perhaps a civil engineer on
this list can explain the fundamental difference between what I
experienced and what Malvolio experienced, but the water fluid from
the force main was nearly clear, with little in the way of particulate
matter, and the smell was no worse than the average fart albeit
different. It was still a pretty disgusting sight, though.
Let me repost the story as told elsewhere --
From: Ralph Jones <ralph...@my-dejanews.com>
Subject: The Grocery Pipe
Date: 1999/04/10
Newsgroups: sci.engr.civil
About 20 years ago, I was working on a road construction project. The
contractor foreman got the location of a force sewer main marked by
Miss Utility's emissary. I was working on a guard rail crew, and we
used a post driver to drive the steel posts about 3 1/2 feet into the
ground. The guy from Miss Utility assured us that the sewer main was
six feet under the ground.
Note: a force main is one where the fluid is under a *lot* of
pressure. This is done when the distance and/or elevation to the
station requires a lot of *force* to pump the fluid to its
destination.
Anyway, the Miss Utility guy blew it. We were driving a guard rail
post, and then an eruption of raw sewage burst out of the ground,
making a small geyser about 3 feet high. The oldest guy on the crew
said, "Ooohhh mannn! You hit the shit line! Now you've done it!"
The foreman called the city engineer, and about 1/2 hour later, the
engineer managed to switch the main off. The valve was about a mile
away, so the bugger ran for about a day before all the fluid emptied
out. Luckily, there was a creek nearby to catch the sewage.
Otherwise, raw sewage would have been all over the neighborhood. We
were working in an urban area.
We worker bees, being typical construction guys, joked about it. For
several days, we would say stuff like, "Do you think that pipe is done
blowing groceries yet"?
The foreman didn't think it was funny.
Ralph Jones
John Gilmer
"Cloud William" <William@the Yangs.com> wrote in message
news:ukj8clq...@corp.supernews.com...
And I bet that there is a guy in the sh*t plant looking at your place of
employment thinking: "Thank God I don't work in there!"
>
Ace Lightning
>wonderful true-life sewage plant story snipped<
>even once. This may be hard to believe, but I expect the "emetogenic"
>area of my brain was burned out in the first few seconds. It also
>helped that I ran back upstairs and put on the gas mask kept in all
>sewage plants for just such events; sorry to disappoint.
either your entire sense of smell was burnt out, or it was
the gas mask. OTOH, puking in a gas mask has some fairly
entertaining possibilities...
>This humble effort was inspired by that portion of the alt.tasteless
>FAQ that speaks of the "me go plop-plop" variety of posting. By making
>this post I hope to set a high-water mark (so to speak) for the
>plop-plop genre.
someone please remind me to nominate this for AT True Experience
Of The Year, when the nominations start.
Malvolio
>
> Perhaps a civil engineer on this list can explain the fundamental
>
Ralph, the difference is that sewage plants have something called
"settling tanks" which is what the incoming sewage lines empty into.
All the "particulate matter" you refer to settles gradually to the
bottom and the "clear" stuff is pumped into other huge tanks where it
is mixed with high pressure air to promote oxygenation. The horrible
stuff that settles to the bottom of the settling tanks is what I
referred to as "raw sewage", not the relatively inoffensive stuff you
encountered, which is combined with rainwater in most drainage
systems, and is well diluted. Since the "particulate matter" is very
difficult to force through a pump (witness my problems with that
goddamn sump pump), the pumps which periodically start up and deliver
it to a building called a "digester" must be very powerful indeed ---
which accounts for the tremendous volume of filth that erupted when I
opened the cut-out valve. This concentrated stuff is not only
unbelievably horrible, it is also actually dangerous, which is why gas
masks are kept handy in sewage plants. Incidentally, this stuff is
black in color and is not a liquid so much as a very thick slurry,
extremely sticky and difficult to remove.
crato
news:3c5ff133.0208...@posting.google.com:
> Ralph, the difference is that sewage plants have something called
> "settling tanks" which is what the incoming sewage lines empty into.
> All the "particulate matter" you refer to settles gradually to the
Ah yes, ol' Crato once ran a sewage plant way back when. You familiar with
the bar rake? That little doodad that rakes the input filter/grate clean?
Ours was _manual_. Interrupt running your lab tests every hour on the hour
and go out and push the magic button and wait for the bar rake to slowly
rise out of the depths, dragging with it it's load of condoms, mucky shit
paper, dead animals and chicken heads and feet (did I mention that there
was a poultry plant upstream?). Pitch the resulting glop into dumpster with
the rest of the acummulating nastiness and savor the aroma as you slam the
door shut. Mmmm, memories...
> bottom and the "clear" stuff is pumped into other huge tanks where it
> is mixed with high pressure air to promote oxygenation. The horrible
> stuff that settles to the bottom of the settling tanks is what I
> referred to as "raw sewage", not the relatively inoffensive stuff you
Ahhh, but you forgot to mention the scum that accumulates on the top of the
settling tanks. A mixture of fats and soap scum that has a wonderously
unique smell all of it's own. And guess what? They recycled it. I alway
wondered where. Lip balm, perhaps?
We had an old black man who's job it was to clean the scum from the paddles
of the settling tanks and toss it into 55 gallon drums. It was a joy to
watch him shuffle in at lunch, wipe his scum encrusted hands on his equally
filthy overalls and dig his sandwich out of his lunch. Mmmm, Mother
Nature's own condiments.
> opened the cut-out valve. This concentrated stuff is not only
> unbelievably horrible, it is also actually dangerous, which is why gas
> masks are kept handy in sewage plants. Incidentally, this stuff is
> black in color and is not a liquid so much as a very thick slurry,
> extremely sticky and difficult to remove.
And it smells so good in the digester. Climbing the side of the digester on
a windy night to take samples while getting beaten severely by the spray
was a guaranteed way to get really quick and speedy service at the local
Waffle Hut on your way home from work.
Crato <fond memories of squirting nitric acid down rat holes>
Obt: The permanent smell that eventually takes up residence in your
nostrils.
E Varden
Ace Lightning wrote:
>
> Malvolio wrote:
>
> >This humble effort was inspired by that portion of the alt.tasteless
> >FAQ that speaks of the "me go plop-plop" variety of posting. By making
> >this post I hope to set a high-water mark (so to speak) for the
> >plop-plop genre.
>
> someone please remind me to nominate this for AT True Experience
> Of The Year, when the nominations start.
You are too fucking stupid to do it yourself?
Charmingly yours,
Pe
Ace Lightning
>>someone please remind me to nominate this for AT True Experience
>>Of The Year, when the nominations start.
>You are too fucking stupid to do it yourself?
not exactly. but i read an *awful* lot of stories, etc., online -
even yours sometimes. i can't keep track of EVERYTHING i read.
and by the end of the year, when it's time to submit nominations,
the cat will have knocked the Post-It(tm) off my computer.
Nanook of the North
What I often do is exactly (sort of) what Ace just did.
I do a follow-up to the message -- trimming appropriately, of course --
with the words 'right, into the nomination file you go, matey' or something
to that effect.
Then, just after New Year's, I pop into groups.google.com and search
alt.tasteless for any posts during the year that I made that have the word
'nomination' in them. Grab the threads, grab the original, ba-da-bing.
Gets a bit tricky if x-no-archive is set, but we can usually figure things
out OK.
ObNotVeryT: My brain hurts.
Robert
--
- From the messy desk of Robnorth - TSS Headquarters -
America is now a nation in decline, and my people have little will to be
well led. - Orson Scott Card, afterword to 'Shadow of the Hegemon'
E Varden
H'mm.
You are too fucking stupid to do it yourself?
Pe (I kinda thought I said that already)
A.Lizard
<TSSHQ_...@shaw.ca> wrote:
>On Sat, 03 Aug 2002 19:40:40 GMT, Ace Lightning excreted the following:
>
>> E Varden wrote:
>>>>someone please remind me to nominate this for AT True Experience
>>>>Of The Year, when the nominations start.
>>>You are too fucking stupid to do it yourself?
>>
>> not exactly. but i read an *awful* lot of stories, etc., online -
>> even yours sometimes. i can't keep track of EVERYTHING i read.
>> and by the end of the year, when it's time to submit nominations,
>> the cat will have knocked the Post-It(tm) off my computer.
>>
>What I often do is exactly (sort of) what Ace just did.
>
>I do a follow-up to the message -- trimming appropriately, of course --
>with the words 'right, into the nomination file you go, matey' or something
There are lots of reminder programs and Websites which will send
you a reminder at a specified date and time... just a matter of
doing it... I use X-Reminder http://www.pimplus.com ... but
google will find you lots of other choices. Just save the story
and make sure *where* you saved it is your reminder. (if WHY
isn't obvious, you don't want to nominate it)
Around the beginning of December, a notice will then pop into
your e-mail or onto your computer screen.
It's worked for me so far.
A.Lizard
obT: appropriate use of a reminder program for an ater
obmoreT: imagine what would be on one maintained by Swan.1
************************************************************************
The horse is dead. Fuck it or walk away, but stop beating it.
Juan Rico
Personal Web site http://www.ecis.com/~alizard
PGP 7.0.3 key available by request,keyserver,or on my Web site
Get PGPfone for secure voice conferencing, W9x,NT,Mac) at
http://www.pgpi.org/products/nai/pgpfone/
************************************************************************
Ralph Jones
Just one question (you seem to know a lot about this) - why didn't I
see any particulate matter in the fluid that came out of the broken
force sewer main? I didn't see any of the terrible objects that you
saw. The fluid was slightly cloudy, and a bit sudsy like soap suds.
BTW, it most definitely was a force sewer main, since it was shown as
such on the plans and the city engineer who came out that day
confirmed that it was a force sewer main.
ObT: Bucket Punch
"I punched him in the stomach and simultaneously yelled, 'Blow Lunch!'
He pitched forward, and puked all over the floor".
Bucket Punch - when you punch him in the stomach below the rib cage,
with a hard uppercut punch. Your fist goes under the ribs, and hits
the base of the stomach, forcing it upward, knocking the chump upward
into the esophagus, out of the mouth, becoming puke. A Bucket Punch,
by definition, causes the guy to puke.
Ralph Jones
DOLTie
"Malvolio" <Malv...@dogomania.com> wrote in message
news:3c5ff133.02073...@posting.google.com...
What do you say about sewer waste being recycled into water? I think a city
in New Jersey is doing it. Yummy.
nullo
about the ole colored guy scooping the condoms and chicken heads off
the rake.
A.Lizard
wrote:
>How could you not have shared that story before? Especially the part
>about the ole colored guy scooping the condoms and chicken heads off
>the rake.
I'd like to propose a new AT Awards nomination category...
Most Unusual Wank Fantasy Material
I don't think I'd nominate the quoted post for that category
(weird, but *not quite weird enough*, but a lot of things that
are posted here fall into this category better than anything else
and some will be worthy of nomination.
A.Lizard
Ace Lightning
>What I often do is exactly (sort of) what Ace just did.
>I do a follow-up to the message -- trimming appropriately, of course --
>with the words 'right, into the nomination file you go, matey' or something
>to that effect.
>Then, just after New Year's, I pop into groups.google.com and search
>alt.tasteless for any posts during the year that I made that have the word
>'nomination' in them. Grab the threads, grab the original, ba-da-bing.
>Gets a bit tricky if x-no-archive is set, but we can usually figure things
>out OK.
dejagoogle is our *friend*...
...especially around AT Awards time...
Lorri
>
>
> Just one question (you seem to know a lot about this) - why didn't I
> see any particulate matter in the fluid that came out of the broken
> force sewer main? I didn't see any of the terrible objects that you
> saw. The fluid was slightly cloudy, and a bit sudsy like soap suds.
>
What you probably had on your hands (so to speak) was effluent after it
had been flocculated--that is, you take raw sewage and mix a chemical
into it to make the solid bits and particulate matter clump together
(flocculate). Then this sinks to the bottom, and you're left with
effluent, basically shit water without the shit.
Glad to help.
Lorri
ObT: a field trip to a water treatment plant
ObMoreT: this was actually part of my water micro curriculum
ObMoreT'er: It was fun.
Malvolio
> Just one question (you seem to know a lot about this) - why didn't I
> see any particulate matter in the fluid that came out of the broken
> force sewer main? I didn't see any of the terrible objects that you
> saw. The fluid was slightly cloudy, and a bit sudsy like soap suds.
> BTW, it most definitely was a force sewer main, since it was shown as
> such on the plans and the city engineer who came out that day
> confirmed that it was a force sewer main.
>
Ralph, you *did* see the particulate matter: that's what the "slightly
cloudy" stuff was. Remember that sewage lines contain a lot more than
sewage; they also have every bit of the vast amounts of water that we
Americans use at the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink, the even more
lavish amounts of water we use in our daily showers and baths. Add to
this the truly staggering amounts of water coming into the lines from
every institutional source: schools, factories, office buildings and
so on. And then there's rainfall, which can literally flood the system
for several days at a time. The end result of all this is that any
particulate matter is *extremely* diluted, and manifests itself as
merely the cloudiness you observed. Also, the harsh action of pumps
will certainly break up and pulverize anything that *can* be broken
up, in addition to the abrasion that takes place along the walls of
the pipes themselves. When I said that the raw sewage that splattered
me contained noisome things like used tampons and such, I didn't mean
that they were present in their original fresh-out-of-the-wrapper
condition. Perhaps you feel this was misleading, but please do grant
me a bit of "poetic license" here (or should that be "emetic
license"?). Every nasty thing that coated the tampons or filled the
condoms *is still present*, it's just diluted so much that all you see
is cloudiness, billions of very fine particles suspended in
wastewater. That's why sewage plants have those settling tanks, so
that all those tiny particles will settle out and become concentrated,
so that you can treat it. It takes a whopping great amount of incoming
sewage going through the settling tanks before you get even a
bucketful of good nasty glop that's treatable. But since the amount of
incoming sewage is truly awesome in volume, therefore the amount of
settled-out glop you get is also impressive. Even so, you only need to
pump it out of the bottom of the tanks maybe once a day at most, for
half an hour or so. That's the way it works, Ralph. Also, bear in mind
that not all drainage systems are alike; depending on the design, some
systems have enormously long runs and have great opportunity to take
on wastewater (and if there's something like a chicken farm very close
to the sewage plant, then the run is very short and things like
chicken heads don't have the time and opportunity to dissolve, you
see?). It may also have been the case that it rained in your area
within a week or so of the time the pipe was holed, in which case
there would have been maybe ten times as much dilution as usual. I'm
sorry that you didn't get to see the shit-fountain you were evidently
hoping for, but *believe me* when I say that the real thing is not an
experience you would want to have. Er, then again, considering that
this is AT, maybe you *do* want such an experience. Even so, I doubt
you'd want it *twice* my friend.
Syd Midnight
>
> jones...@yahoo.com (Ralph Jones) wrote
>
> > Just one question (you seem to know a lot about this) - why didn't I
> > see any particulate matter in the fluid that came out of the broken
> > force sewer main? I didn't see any of the terrible objects that you
> > saw. The fluid was slightly cloudy, and a bit sudsy like soap suds.
>
> Ralph, you *did* see the particulate matter: that's what the "slightly
> cloudy" stuff was. Remember that sewage lines contain a lot more than
> sewage; they also have every bit of the vast amounts of water that we
> Americans use at the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink, the even more
I assume that a septic tank system is a microcosm of the industrial sewage
plant. Our area is an oasis of poor city planning in the midst of a built-up
area, and we have to make do with a septic tank.
The main tank is where all the wastewater goes. The Black Gold ferments in
the septic tank, and its overflow pours into a small distribution box, which
pipes the shitwater through the leach lines, which are porous pipes running
in a ring beneath the greenest part of the lawn. From there it filters into
the sand and soil, where bacteria breaks it down and converts it into the
general sludge of nature.
For some reason our "greywater", the fairly innocuous drainage from the
sinks, bathtubs, etc. empties into the tank as well. When the flow is too
much for the leach lines, it pours out of an overflow pipe into a good old
fashioned ditch. Since the worst of the sewage sinks to the bottom of the
septic tank to be munched upon by various tasteless bacteria, and the leach
lines filter out a good portion of the remaining feces, the ditch overflow is
a mildly noxious soapy mixture consisting primarily of bath and/or washing
machine water.
So the ditch water, while technically being raw/minimally processed sewage,
is highly diluted and has had most of the tasteless stuff filtered out. It's
clean enough that a young child will happily play in it, the funny smell
being a small price to pay for the hands-on experience of playing with the
various frogs, snakes, tube worms, etc. that take up residence in the ditch.
At least until an adult starts hollering at them. Many's the day I whiled
away playing in the ditch, as it was a peerless environment in which to stage
jungle combat and amphibious raids with toy army men.
ObGeorgeCarlin: "And we never got measles, we never got polio, you know
why? Because our immune systems were tempered in RAW SHIT."
--
Rev. Syd Midnight - Remove TREET from tree...@treetnls.net
"I blame the teachers, and I blame the politicians for picking the teachers,
and I blame the parents for voting them in, and top of the list I put the
bastard who invented the caps-lock key." -- Chris Hacking
Malvolio
> What do you say about sewer waste being recycled into water? I think a city
> in New Jersey is doing it. Yummy.
It would sort of *have* to be in New Jersey, now wouldn't it?
But seriously folks, recycled wastewater being used for human
consumption is the "wave" of the future. It is inevitable and it is
already happening. I remember reading a news item (forget where,
sorry) that told of a foreign city that was actually doing it, and
some government minister appeared on their national TV and drank a
glass of the recycled water to prove its safety. The thing is, if
everything but good old H2O itself is removed from sewage, then all
that's left in the glass is water. And water is water, no matter where
it comes from. There are two problems, however. The first is obviously
whether or not you can always remove absolutely *everything* that
could cause an unhappy surprise when you drink it. The second problem
is that the people who read the Weekly World News have the right to
vote, just as you and I do. These people are our version of the
Taliban, at least in terms of their general enlightenment. This means
that actually implementing any such recycling will be about as easy as
reaching your hand up your asshole to brush your teeth. When our
freshwater resources fall below the critical level, wastewater
recycling will become one of the perennial Big Issues of the day. I am
old enough that I may not live to see that day arrive, but many of you
who read AT will face it as surely as a dog returns to its vomit.
Nanook of the North
<much snippage re: sewage>
> For some reason our "greywater", the fairly innocuous drainage from
> the
> sinks, bathtubs, etc. empties into the tank as well. When the flow is
> too much for the leach lines, it pours out of an overflow pipe into a
> good old fashioned ditch. Since the worst of the sewage sinks to the
> bottom of the septic tank to be munched upon by various tasteless
> bacteria, and the leach lines filter out a good portion of the
> remaining feces, the ditch overflow is a mildly noxious soapy mixture
> consisting primarily of bath and/or washing machine water.
If you want to part of some ground-breaking stuff, you can get a system put
into your house that will take your grey water, and treat it to the point
where you can drink it.
Actually, it's so good, it'll do your brown water, too. One test had brown
water going in, and water coming out that beat every reasonable drinking
water standard you could throw at it.
However, keeping in mind most people's sensibilities, the recommended
hookup procedure is one of the following:
Fresh water ------> Drinking water taps (BR, kitchen, hot water heater)
-----> Treatment thingy ------> All other water uses in the house
(shower, toilet, washing machine)
Or, for the truly squeamish:
Fresh water ------> All water uses except toilets ------> Treatment
thingy -------> Toilets
Given that in most households, 40% of the water use is just for flushing
shit away, this still results in most homes' water usage being roughly
halved.
See http://www.cmhc-schl.gc.ca/en/imquaf/himu/wacon/wacon_051.cfm
> ObGeorgeCarlin: "And we never got measles, we never got polio, you
> know
> why? Because our immune systems were tempered in RAW SHIT."
Yup. The big polio epidemic of the 1950's was triggered in large part by
the fact that you now had (a) buttloads of GI's come home, marrying, and
then (b) moving to nice new suburbs where all the sewage was safely
underground, and (c) having a buttload of babies who grew up *without*
having their immune systems tempered in raw shit. So when said babies
*did* run into sewage in the summer, one hint of the poliomyelitis virus
and boom!
Previous generations, where shit ran down the curb, still had polio, but
they had a lot less of it than in 1950's North America. OTOH, we have a
lot less of it now than before the war, so consider it a worthy sacrifice.
ObT: You've heard of measles parties? Wonder if anyone ever had polio
parties....
Robert
--
- From the messy desk of Robnorth - TSS Headquarters -
...their whole line of thought is based on doing evil so that good may
come, which in my opinion implies that causes do not have effects.
- George Orwell, on Communists
Lorri
>
>
> I assume that a septic tank system is a microcosm of the industrial sewage
> plant.
Sort of, but not quite. A well designed septic layout will indeed
separate the greywater (sinks, bathtubs, and laundry) from the
shitwater--the more modern solution is to run the greywater drains into
a pit lined with sand and filled with pea gravel and larger, where the
particulates are caught by the gravel, the water is further filtered by
the sand, and (relatively) pure water is then absorbed by the
surrounding soil. You can also do this with a poorly designed septic
layout (which runs everything into the septic tank) by diverting all the
greywater into a 55 gallon plastic drum which you have buried downhill
from your house, filled with gravel or broken tile. You punch holes in
the upper third of the drum, run the greywater pipe into the bottom
third of the drum, put a lid on it and bury the bastard. The shitwater
is the only stuff that runs into the septic tank.
Septic tanks are really cool marvels of engineering--they aren't just
big boxes that your flushes end up in. The shitwater runs down the pipe
to the tank, but it just doesn't plop in. The pipe terminates in the
tank, with a baffle offset from the pipe about 6 inches. The downward
force of the flush (hopefully) blasts the turds and bogwipe against this
baffle, which tends to break the solid masses up into smaller bits.
These bits and the flush water then fall down into the main tank.
Over time, the solid bits sink to the bottom, and the water rises to the
top. The outflow for the tank isn't at the bottom though--it's about 3/4
of the way up the tank at least. When the water reaches this level, it
then runs down the leachfield pipe to the leachfield, which consists of
several rows of perforated pipes branching from the main pipe into a
large area that is essentially a duplicate of the greywater pit--sand
lined, filled with gravel. The relatively clean topmost water in the
septic tank then is filtered out into the leachfield, cleaned by rocks
and further filtered by sand, and then is absorbed into the surrounding
soil.
You run into trouble with septic tanks, which are happily perking
anaerobic/aerobic microenvironments, when you do something stupid like
put those toilet bowl cleaners "that clean with every flush" in your
johns. That shit will kill off all the little shit-digesting bacteria
faster than you can say "Clorox". Which is why the Rid-X people can stay
in business. If you can smell a septic tank (really you're smelling the
leachfield because the bacteria aren't digesting the shit before it
leaches out) that's called a "sick" septic tank and you will most likely
have to have the damn thing pumped and start all over. Also, over time
you will fill up a septic tank, and you'll have to pump it. This takes a
LOOOOONG time though--we just had to have our tank pumped out, for the
first time in at least 20 or so years. Hell, it was put in when my
great-grandmother lived in the house--it may have never been pumped out
until just now.
So there you have it, a short description of the Amazing Septic Tank,
Its Care And Feeding. You take care of it, and it'll take care of you.
Or at least your shit. What more can you ask?
Lorri
Water Microbiologist and Wastewater Treatment Connoiseur
Bill
> Yup. The big polio epidemic of the 1950's was triggered in large part by
> the fact that you now had (a) buttloads of GI's come home, marrying, and
> then (b) moving to nice new suburbs where all the sewage was safely
> underground, and (c) having a buttload of babies who grew up *without*
> having their immune systems tempered in raw shit. So when said babies
> *did* run into sewage in the summer, one hint of the poliomyelitis virus
> and boom!
> Previous generations, where shit ran down the curb, still had polio, but
> they had a lot less of it than in 1950's North America. OTOH, we have a
> lot less of it now than before the war, so consider it a worthy sacrifice.
That is a good theory but unfortunately one of your basic tenants is not right.
The polio epidemics did not start in the 50's with all the ex-soldiers moving
to suburbia, they started in the early 40's. The fall and winter of 43/44 was
the big panic outbreak. It hits its peak in 46 and 47 and was really going
down hill by 48. There were no public gatherings involving children in 43
through 47 and in 48 they had backed off that. One of my friends got it
in 1941 and another in 1947. By 1948 when someone got polio they were
expected to survive with out being paralyzed. The beach with all its fresh air
was the only place mothers trusted to let their kids play with other children.
Ralph Jones
>
> Ralph, you *did* see the particulate matter: that's what the "slightly
> cloudy" stuff was. Remember that sewage lines contain a lot more than
> sewage; they also have every bit of the vast amounts of water that we
> Americans use at the kitchen sink and the bathroom sink, the even more
> lavish amounts of water we use in our daily showers and baths. Add to
> this the truly staggering amounts of water coming into the lines from
> every institutional source: schools, factories, office buildings and
> so on. And then there's rainfall, which can literally flood the system
> for several days at a time. The end result of all this is that any
> particulate matter is *extremely* diluted, and manifests itself as
> merely the cloudiness you observed.
I don't know where all the material in the "grocery pipe" came from.
Probably from various residential and businesses buildings, like you
suggest.
IIRC, the city it was in (about 10,000 population) did not have
combined storm/sanitary sewer systems; it had a unitary sewer system.
> Also, the harsh action of pumps
> will certainly break up and pulverize anything that *can* be broken
> up, in addition to the abrasion that takes place along the walls of
> the pipes themselves.
True, indeed. A force sewer main does have periodic pumping stations
to pump the fluid and to pressurize the line.
> That's why sewage plants have those settling tanks, so
> that all those tiny particles will settle out and become concentrated,
> so that you can treat it. It takes a whopping great amount of incoming
> sewage going through the settling tanks before you get even a
> bucketful of good nasty glop that's treatable. But since the amount of
> incoming sewage is truly awesome in volume, therefore the amount of
> settled-out glop you get is also impressive. Even so, you only need to
> pump it out of the bottom of the tanks maybe once a day at most, for
> half an hour or so. That's the way it works, Ralph.
I see what you are saying now; maybe I didn't see it before. The
plant you were at had already processed the sewage from the watery
stuff in the lines, down to an almost paste-like material. That
explains it.
> I'm sorry that you didn't get to see the shit-fountain you were evidently
> hoping for, but *believe me* when I say that the real thing is not an
> experience you would want to have. Er, then again, considering that
> this is AT, maybe you *do* want such an experience. Even so, I doubt
> you'd want it *twice* my friend.
Actually, I wondered ahead of time what would happen if a force sewer
main was ruptured. I pictured in my mind's eye, a huge geyser of
thick brown liquid exploding about 20 feet up into the air, with
thousands of gallons of the stuff going everywhere.
What I saw was obviously a lot less spectacular, as I described
already.
It might be interesting to see a shit fountain, but I would never know
ahead of time until it happened whether it would cover me or not. I
would not want an experience where it would cover me!! :-)
:-0==========
ObT: A few months later a worker on the crew on a project in a rural
area shit his britches. About an hour after lunch, he suddenly took
off running for the woods, stopped in the edge of the woods, and he
opened his belt and started to pull his britches down. He had old
bright white dress pants that had long since been relegated to work
pants. He had his britches about halfway down, and a torrent of
explosive liquishits burst out of his ass, spraying both the ground as
well as his britches, with some of it going into his britches. About
half of his britches was soaked with the diarrhea.
There was nowhere for him to wash out his britches, and nobody had a
pair of spare britches. So he just worked the rest of the day with
his half white and half-brown britches. We cracked some jokes and
called him names like "Shit Britches" and "Two-tone", and I asked him,
"What did you eat for lunch - a shit sandwich?"
He was pretty good natured about it, though. But we didn't let him
ride in the Blazer after work on the way back to the contractor's yard
about 20 miles away; he had to ride in the bed of a pickup truck.
Ralph Jones
Sue Rage
<s...@malignant.melanoma.org> wrote:
circumcision
> Seen the "anti-vaccination" crowd? It screams "loony cult" from every pore.
>It has nothing to do with legitimate worries over vaccination effectiveness
>or quality control. They think that vaccination is a hoax perpetuated by the
>Science Kult, and Big Pharmaceutical Industries. ALL vaccinations. Smallpox
>vaccination? "A mass murder on par with the holocaust." Polio vaccinations?
>"Mass murder on par with the Holocaust." Mumps vaccinations? You guessed it.
>
> A lot of them are parents of tards or autists. They need to BLAME somebody,
>and of course, anything connected with a Big Industry is automatically evil.
>People are never born autistic, no, it's someone's fault.
Bovine excrement.
Most of the "my kiddie got autism from from vaccination" crowd are NOT
against vaccination itself. They are against giving multiple
vaccinations such as MMR (Measles Mumps Rubella). They are in favour
of the vaccinations for these 3 diseases being given seperately at
intervals of a few months.
SuE