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Jonathan Nature Boy Blaque

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Jun 28, 2001, 10:48:49 PM6/28/01
to
I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
meds that can be purchased over the counter north
of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
names?

Cheers!
Nature Boy (II)
Pill We Meet Again

"If I could dig up my mother's grave, I'd take out her
bones and kill her again."

-- Serial killer Joe Fischer, from his cell at Sing Sing

--
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/blaques-dungeon

Savage Pierre

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Jun 29, 2001, 9:31:16 AM6/29/01
to
bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque) wrote in message news:<blaque-2806...@dialup-166.90.66.222.dial1.chicago1.level3.net>...

> I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
> meds that can be purchased over the counter north
> of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
> names?
>
> Cheers!
> Nature Boy (II)
> Pill We Meet Again
>

As far as I know, meds aren't easier to purchase in the great white north,
only cheaper. If you want cheap meds without a script, you need to go south
of the border, Tijuana is the best place.

You don't seem like the Viagra type to me, Nature Boy.

Savage Pierre
Hard without a prescription

ObT: No sign of the Bush twins in Montreal, plenty of bush, however.

Heywood Jaiblomi

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Jun 29, 2001, 10:14:35 AM6/29/01
to
bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque) wrote

>I seem to recall some discussion about prescription


>meds that can be purchased over the counter north
>of the border.

There are four schedules of drugs here in Ontario. Rx only, over the
counter, behind the counter, and under the counter.

Over the counter means someone can pick it up and then take it directly to
the checkout. You'll find cough and cold remedies, etc. pretty much as in a
U.S. drugstore.

Behind the counter are products which you can see, but it requires the
interaction with dispensary staff for you to obtain it. This would include
products such as Qwell shampoo, another fine a.t. product.

Under the counter are those products which require the interaction with a
dispensary staff person, but are not allowed to be on display. A major
category of these drugs would include codeine phosphate.

No Rx is necessary to buy certain strengths of codeine (Anacin used to have
their "red label" tablets which contained Anacin with Codeine). There are
many generic pain releivers available with the similar formulation.

--
"Heywood Jaiblomi has to be one of the most intelligent,
witty and profound posters on Usenet. When you see one of
his posts...Read it!"
David Manning - Register Press

Jeff Justin

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Jun 29, 2001, 10:08:50 AM6/29/01
to
When we last heard from Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque, in message
news:blaque-2806012048310001@dialup-
166.90.66.222.dial1.chicago1.level3.net,
posted in alt.tasteless, on Fri, 29 Jun 2001 02:48:49 GMT.
He, she, or it graced us with the following:

> I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
> meds that can be purchased over the counter north
> of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
> names?

I'll bow to Nanookie on the specifics, but I know you can buy
codiene preparations OTC north of the border. Pills that are
like Tylenol #3 acetaminophen/codiene are available. I think
you can also get the codiene suppositories OTC as well, but
knowing you and your dislike of anything around your ass other
than your own shit and TP, I guess those are out of the
question.

With a little snooping, you can get some on-line narcotics from
Mexico, just shop around until you find one of the pharmacies
that has someone to write scrips for anyone who wants drugs.
They'll sell you a 90 supply at once, so you can be be a drug
kingpin with all that dope.

Of course, if you do enough of those codiene tabs, you're going
to need an industrial strength, "new age", power cleaner, enema
cleansing to break apart the impacted feces frozen in place in
your tender shitslide. I 'spect Rachet'll lend a hand.

Hey, I just remembered, I owe you a present, don't I? I'll pop
it in the mail this PM when I'm out and about.


Cheers,

Jeff Justin


ObT: 2 of the 3 regulars in my stable are on vacation starting
tomorrow. I guess I'll get a sample of monoton^H^H^Hgamy for
the next week. How frightful.

--

When it comes to the milk of human kindness
I am lactose intolerant.


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John Gilmer

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Jun 29, 2001, 10:59:33 AM6/29/01
to

> Behind the counter are products which you can see, but it requires the
> interaction with dispensary staff for you to obtain it. This would include
> products such as Qwell shampoo, another fine a.t. product.

"Qwell shampoo?"

Obviously, I have led a sheltered life!

I feel like the priest who was told by the "young innocent" about what the
straps in her boy friend's VW were used for.

M.I. Wakefield

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Jun 29, 2001, 11:45:48 AM6/29/01
to
bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque) wrote in message news:<blaque-2806...@dialup-166.90.66.222.dial1.chicago1.level3.net>...
> I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
> meds that can be purchased over the counter north
> of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
> names?

Codeine is a non-prescription drug here ... just walk in to a pharmacy
and ask for it.

IIRC, we have the highest codeine usage in the world.

E Varden

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Jun 29, 2001, 2:18:30 PM6/29/01
to
Savage Pierre wrote:
>
> bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque) wrote in message news:<blaque-2806...@dialup-166.90.66.222.dial1.chicago1.level3.net>...
> > I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
> > meds that can be purchased over the counter north
> > of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
> > names?

>

> As far as I know, meds aren't easier to purchase in the great white north,
> only cheaper. If you want cheap meds without a script, you need to go south
> of the border, Tijuana is the best place.


In Canada Codeine tabs (222s (tm.) and up are available for the
asking of the pharmacist...


Pe

Ace Lightning

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Jun 29, 2001, 3:08:35 PM6/29/01
to
E Varden wrote:
>>>I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
>>>meds that can be purchased over the counter north
>>>of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
>>>names?
>>As far as I know, meds aren't easier to purchase in the great white north,
>>only cheaper. If you want cheap meds without a script, you need to go south
>>of the border, Tijuana is the best place.
>In Canada Codeine tabs (222s (tm.) and up are available for the
>asking of the pharmacist...

in addition to codeine preparations, you can get a few
other types of medicines that are only available by
prescription in the US. specifically, you have to ask
for them, but you can get some of the "non-drowsy"
antihistamines like Claritin. not much tasteless potential
there, since this stuff isn't particularly abusable, but
it does demonstrate the difference between our attitude
and the more enlightened ones of our brothers and sisters
to the North. another thing i noticed was that homeopathic,
herbal, and other "alternative" medicines are sold in
pharmacies, right alongside the "scientific" remedies.
it's pretty much the same in Australia, too.

...oh, and Qwell (Kwell?) shampoo? it's for getting rid
of lice. it contains an insecticide. now isn't *that*
just what you want to put on your cranium... or your crotch?

Top Sirloin

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Jun 29, 2001, 4:26:09 PM6/29/01
to
On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 02:48:49 GMT, bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy"
Blaque) wrote:

>I seem to recall some discussion about prescription
>meds that can be purchased over the counter north
>of the border. Which ones? Suggestions? Brand
>names?

Why leave the comfort of your home?

http://www.drugspharma.com/

http://www.pillen2000.com/

http://www.1drugstore-online.com/default.htm

http://www.access-meds.com/


-Scott Johnson
"There is nothing, I think, more unfortunate than
to have soft, chubby, fat-looking children who go
to watch their school play basketball every Saturday
and regard that as their week's exercise."
- John F. Kennedy, 1962

Jonathan Nature Boy Blaque

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Jun 29, 2001, 10:53:32 PM6/29/01
to
sjohnson wrote:

(re my inquiry about over-the-counter meds in
Canada)

Yeah, I went and hunted down a few of these my-
self after reading Justin's suggestion. They want
anywhere from $15 to $35 just to supply you with
a *list* of Mexican and Filipino online pharma-
cies -- and then can't even guarantee that the
meds'll get past U.S. Customs.

Alas, the hunt for an honest, lawful way to obtain
illegal and dangerous drugs continues.

Cheers!
Nature Boy (II)
Veni Vidi Vicodin

"It's my ass, I'll risk it as I please." -- Strayhorn

Ob(un)Plug: Being a rather ardent codeine fan, I'm
always lookin' for new and more effective ways to
clear the residual tar outta my digestive tract. Just
recently, I found a product called "Super Colon
Cleanse" (Health Plus, Inc. 800-822-6225), a com-
bination of psyllium husk, ground senna, buck-
thorn, peppermint, cascada sagrada and acidophilus.

My dirtsnakes are still hard and dry as limestone,
but they slide out almost as if by magic.

Highly recommended.

--
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/blaques-dungeon

Wes Payne

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Jun 29, 2001, 11:26:28 PM6/29/01
to
On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 19:08:35 GMT, Ace Lightning
<acelig...@monmouth.com> wrote:

>...oh, and Qwell (Kwell?) shampoo? it's for getting rid
>of lice. it contains an insecticide. now isn't *that*
>just what you want to put on your cranium... or your crotch?

If I happen to have crabs as big as cockroaches crawling around my
balls, I'll use napalm if I have to.

I mean, what the FUCK did you think Qwell had in it? Sweeteners??

ObT: Extra gimmicks they add to Qwell in order to sell more of it,
like they do with antacids and other more mundane medicinals. How
'bout "Non-Drowsy" Qwell? Or Qwell with Calcium?

Or Raspberry-Flavored Qwell to make it more palatable to children?

--------------------------------------------------------------------
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Ace Lightning

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Jun 30, 2001, 12:40:39 AM6/30/01
to
Wes Payne wrote:
>>...oh, and Qwell (Kwell?) shampoo? it's for getting rid
>>of lice. it contains an insecticide. now isn't *that*
>>just what you want to put on your cranium... or your crotch?
>If I happen to have crabs as big as cockroaches crawling around my
>balls, I'll use napalm if I have to.

and just who^Hat *WERE* you doing, to get that bad a
case of the cooties?

Ace Lightning

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Jun 30, 2001, 12:48:34 AM6/30/01
to
Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
>>If I happen to have crabs as big as cockroaches crawling around my
>>balls, I'll use napalm if I have to.
>What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?
>I mean, I know somewhat of what it is -- it would seem to be a highly
>inflammable (or maybe outright incendiary) substance that sticks to
>things.
>But all the Vietnam books I've read refer to it but no one ever seems
>to define it. What makes it suck so bad? DOES it stick to stuff?
>Does it not go out? What's so special about it? Is it like
>large-scale WP? What???

it's usually described as "jellied gasoline". it's not
quite as vicious as WP, which will burn through clothing
and flesh, clear down to bone, and water just makes it worse.
but napalm does stick, and burns like any other petroleum
product. think of something with a viscosity somewhere
between Jell-O(tm) and gear grease, but on the gooey side.
it's good for setting flammable structures on fire, but i
think its main value is the _Schrecklichheit_ of the horrible
burn scars it leaves on exposed human skin.

i'm not sure what actual, official napalm is made out of,
but i've (*ahem*) heard of people making an approximation
of the stuff by dissolving either soap flakes or pieces of
styrofoam in gasoline or kerosene until the desired consistency
is reached. (obviously, don't try this at home. yeah.)

Jamie Debra Weisman

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Jun 30, 2001, 12:46:46 AM6/30/01
to

On Fri, 29 Jun 2001, Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
>
> ObT: I found my sister-in-law's panties today when I was cleaning up
> my living room to move her out, at long last.
>
> They had been used.
>
> Several times. During different times of the month.
>
> In fact, if I had to guess, she had never washed them.
>

I assume you'll save them for this year's TSS?

Victor

A.Lizard

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Jun 30, 2001, 4:12:54 AM6/30/01
to
On Sat, 30 Jun 2001 00:47:40 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
<j...@lavarnway.mv.com> wrote:

[snip]
>
>My husband is betting on either Tide and gasoline or Vaseline and
>gasoline.

this is from memory.
1 part gasoline
1 part benzine
2 parts expanded polystyrene
(presumably by weight)

the street approximation is 1 part gas, 1 part Joy detergent.

A.Lizard


************************************************************************
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Wes Payne

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Jun 30, 2001, 4:17:38 AM6/30/01
to
On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 23:35:17 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
<j...@lavarnway.mv.com> wrote:

>>If I happen to have crabs as big as cockroaches crawling around my
>>balls, I'll use napalm if I have to.
>

>What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?
>
>I mean, I know somewhat of what it is -- it would seem to be a highly
>inflammable (or maybe outright incendiary) substance that sticks to
>things.
>
>But all the Vietnam books I've read refer to it but no one ever seems
>to define it. What makes it suck so bad? DOES it stick to stuff?
>Does it not go out? What's so special about it? Is it like
>large-scale WP? What???

Oh, my-- Jess.

Some say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Others
say that it's through his fly. Others say that it's through his
ribcage.

While all those work for me, another sure way to gain my affections is
to ask me to explain nasty implements of destruction. The subject
matter is near and dear to my heart, and I just *love* playing the
role of teacher sometimes.

So Jess, my little wildflower you, put on something comfortable and
slinky, recline on the bed, writhe sexily for me, and let me regale
you with my latest lecture on Hot, Flaming Death. Enjoy the ride,
baby. Let your fingers do the walking. And all that.

Anyway, it goes like this: if I recall the chemical textbooks
correctly, napalm is napthalene mixed with aluminum soap. Those with
more recent exposure to the material are certain to correct me, I'm
sure. Napthalene is "coal gas", a clear, liquid petroleum product
related to gasoline. I presume that aluminum soap is just like plain
old soap, except that they use aluminum hydroxide instead of sodium
hydroxide in the saponification process.

These two components make up the "jellied gasoline" base of what we
call napalm. Other items, such as powdered phosporus or various
accelerants (chlorates or permanganates) may have been added in order
to make it even "more fun" (burn hotter and require less outside
oxygen to maintain combustion).

The two main methods for napalm dispersal were flamethrowers and
air-dropped napalm canisters. There were, of course, other novel ways
found for using this product, such as drums of the stuff poured into
ditches and ignited when the enemy was either in them or trying to
cross them. There was even a variant of the claymore mine made that
was filled with napalm instead of plain old steel shrapnel.

The most spectacular employment was, of course, the napalm drop. The
canister was aerodynamically shaped so that it would tumble upon being
released by an aircraft. Valves at each end would open, letting
centrifugal force from the end-over-end spinning spew the contents out
upon the ground below. If the pilot didn't make the drop too low or
two high, the result would be a nice, long swath of landscape now
coated with sticky incendiary. When the initiators in the canisters
detonated and ignited this swath, the result was an awe-inspiring wall
of flame.

Unless you were in it, in which case it just plain sucked. Because
napalm DOES stick to stuff like human bodies and, once ignited, is the
very devil to extinguish. However, unlike white phosporus, it is
possible to put it out with water. Not easy, but possible.

As an aside, the reason why burning phosporus is impossible to
extinguish with water is that, basically, the combustion is an
oxidation reaction -- phosphorus is highly reactive and has a
particularly wonderful affinity for oxygen. If you slice a chunk of
(non-burning) phosphorus in two, the shiny surfaces you've exposed
will quickly darken as they oxidize. If you try to douse burning
phosphorus by smothering it in water, it just breaks the water down
for its oxygen, which also causes the release of hydrogen gas (with
predictable results). That's why phosphorus in its elemental form is
stored under oil -- no oxygen to react with. Were you to spray a wad
of burning phosphorus with a stream of water, the resulting explosion
would probably get some of it on you. Stop, Drop and Roll.

The reason why the U.S. recently destroyed so much napalm is that we
really don't use it anymore. In fact, I think that international
convention prohibits the use of napalm and its nasty cousin white
phosphorus. Who knows?

Besides, we've since come up with more fun stuff: cluster munitions,
which we will cover in another session if I don't get beaten to it.

Meanwhile, I gotta go get a towel ...

ObT: Coroners' pillow talk.

Matt Olson

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 12:58:29 AM6/30/01
to
<BLINK> Quoth Jessica Lavarnway (j...@lavarnway.mv.com):

> What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?

Jesus Christ on a 36" dildo, what the fuck do they teach you in
basic, anyway?

IIRC, napalm started off as jellied gasoline stuffed into
external fuel tanks (WWII) and got more sophisticated when the
air fa^Horce discovered that it was useful and warranted some
research.

Purportedly, you can make napalm in the comfort of your own
garage by dissolving styrofoam into gasoline until saturation,
but I've never gotten that to work for me. Your Mileage May
Vary -- although the gasoline/styro cocktail I ended up with
burned pretty nicely. Didn't get that cute orange/black fire-
ball, though.

ObT: Using the neighbour's terrier as a test subject when
determining the effective viscosity of homemade incendiaries.
Or the neighbour's house as a test range for homemade FAEs.

Yeah, I was a firestarter as a kid. Tortured bugs, but never
larger animals. (I was also a chickenshit as a kid.) Didn't
have abnormal bedwetting problems, though.

> ObT: I found my sister-in-law's panties today when I was cleaning up
> my living room to move her out, at long last.
>
> They had been used.
>
> Several times. During different times of the month.
>
> In fact, if I had to guess, she had never washed them.

Guess I should break down and get an eBay account, then.

On t'other hand, I've never trusted online commerce (something
about being subscribed to BUGTRAQ, I guess). Maybe we could
start an auction for yer SIL's panties here on alt.tasteless.

I'll start the bidding at $2 USD, which probably translates
into $40 CanuckBucks.

ObT2: The ass-raping the CanuckBuck is getting at the hands of
the greenback.

Cheers,
Matt

chemwonk

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Jun 30, 2001, 6:35:07 AM6/30/01
to

"Wes Payne" <san...@speakHEADeasy.org> wrote in message
news:3b3d837a...@news.uncensored-news.com...

> On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 23:35:17 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
>
> Anyway, it goes like this: if I recall the chemical textbooks
> correctly, napalm is napthalene mixed with aluminum soap. Those with
> more recent exposure to the material are certain to correct me, I'm
> sure. Napthalene is "coal gas", a clear, liquid petroleum product
> related to gasoline. I presume that aluminum soap is just like plain
> old soap, except that they use aluminum hydroxide instead of sodium
> hydroxide in the saponification process.
>

</pedant>

Pure naphthalene is a solid aromatic hydrocarbon with a melting point
somewhere around 80C. It is rarely used in that form however. It is usually
extracted from coal "tar" along with its close analogs. All of these share
the same basic structure - two benzene rings fused together along one side.
It's harder to ignite than benzene, but burns longer and hotter after it's
been started.

You're right on the soap chemistry, but there's method behind the madness.
Palm oil has been used for a long time to make regular sodium based soap and
is relatively viscous (thick and sticky if you prefer) but very water
soluble - that's what makes it a classic soap. The sodium end is very water
soluble and the palm oil end is very oil soluble. When you stitch three palm
oil ends together with aluminum and remove the reaction water you get a soap
that has no water soluble end and three oil soluble ends. This means it
"sticks" to any oil it encounters, be that naphthalenes or small Vietnamese
children with oily skin and it won't wash away easily with water.

<pedant/>

As noted elsewhere in thread, the "cookbook chemist" version is pretty much
any decent synthetic soap mixed with an accelerant. For more authenticity, I
would suggest Palmolive (It was originally made with a mix of palm and olive
oil soaps, Glub knows exactly what they use now.) and lighter fluid. Start
with a small, known quantity of the fluid and add Palmolive while mixing
until you get the viscosity you want.

--
Chemwonk - "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

Go ahead, flame me if you wish, somebody had to quote that line somewhere in
this thread.


E Varden

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Jun 30, 2001, 1:07:35 PM6/30/01
to
Wes Payne wrote:
>
.
.
.

>
> ObT: Extra gimmicks they add to Qwell in order to sell more of it,
> like they do with antacids and other more mundane medicinals. How
> 'bout "Non-Drowsy" Qwell? Or Qwell with Calcium?
>
> Or Raspberry-Flavored Qwell to make it more palatable to children?
>

You are of course referring to the little knob-gobblers that
prefer your meat to be sweet?


Pe

E Varden

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 1:08:56 PM6/30/01
to
Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
>
.
.
.
>
> ObT: I found my sister-in-law's panties today when I was cleaning up
> my living room to move her out, at long last.
>
> They had been used.
>
> Several times. During different times of the month.
>
> In fact, if I had to guess, she had never washed them.

And the bidding starts when?


Pe
>

E Varden

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 1:18:47 PM6/30/01
to
Heywood Jaiblomi wrote:
>
> j...@lavarnway.mv.com (Jessica Lavarnway) wrote

>
> >What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?
>
> Think of it as sticky gasoline. The stuff was originally made from the
> aluminum soaps of NAphtenic and PALMitic acids.

Jellied gasoline. You can't get it off. The most famous picture
of a napalmed (and running) human is the pic of 9-year-old Phan
Thi Kim Phuc who had the wit to tear off her burning clothes and
race toward the photographer.

She is presently residing here in my town Toronto.

Yay Phan! Still raking in royalties (I hope) from your first
nudie!


http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2000/08/03/chong/?CP=YAH&DN=110


Pe

E Varden

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 1:21:05 PM6/30/01
to


I'm again reminded of the illuminated sign at a motel on the
Mendocino coast of northern California: "Sorry, no crabs"


Pe

Jon Hartley

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 2:09:58 PM6/30/01
to
On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 23:35:17 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
<j...@lavarnway.mv.com> wrote:

>>If I happen to have crabs as big as cockroaches crawling around my
>>balls, I'll use napalm if I have to.
>

>What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?
>

The recipe in my Cook Book calls for the following:

Gasoline (Petrol) or Naptha - basic fuel
Polystyrene (Styrofoam) - makes it stick
And......
White Phosphorus (AKA 'Willie Peter') - to make sure that it ignites
and carries on burning.

Might not be the original recipe but I guess it would do if push came
to shove..

ObTbut not original: Munitions using Willie Peter with a bursting
charge - resulting in a REAL skin problem. Diagnosed using a Smoke
Detector rather than an X-ray Machine.

Cheers!
JonH

PS I was able to buy - as a result of parental ignorance of the more
exciting chemicals in life - the more difficult ingredients in 1 pound
tins from a Chemist Shop (Pharmacy) in Stoke Newington, London. Bad
news is that my residual stock caught fire some thirty years ago
through lack of attention on my part to the maintenance of the
recommended storage conditions for WP. Frightened the Mother though!

PPS Henley's 20th Century Book of Recipes and Trade Secrets also gives
a recipe for 'Fenian Fire' - a solution of WP in Carbon Disulphide.
The idea is that you lob a bottle of this shit into your target's
domicile. The Carbon Disulphide evaporates leaving WP which, when
fully dry, spontaneously combusts. (Made it too, showed that it would
be viable, but it stinks like rotten cabbages which tends to give the
game away.)

fungus

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 7:45:11 PM6/30/01
to
E Varden wrote:
>
> ...Kim Phuc who had the wit to tear off her burning clothes and

> race toward the photographer.
>
> She is presently residing here in my town Toronto.
>
> Yay Phan! Still raking in royalties (I hope) from your first
> nudie!
>

She normally goes by the name Kim Phuc, which has a kinda
nice ring to it.

It also leads to web pages called "phuc.html"

eg. http://gos.sbc.edu/p/phuc.html


--
<\___/>
/ O O \
\_____/ FTB.

Wes Payne

unread,
Jun 30, 2001, 8:41:01 PM6/30/01
to
On Sat, 30 Jun 2001 13:07:35 -0400, E Varden <jp...@interlog.com>
wrote:

>Wes Payne wrote:

Had "accidental" poisonings in mind, actually ...

But if you're trying to entice knob-gobblers, I suspect that you might
want to try something with that flavor that's a little less toxic than
Qwell.

I saw this special on one of the "educational" networks (Discovery
Channel, etc.) about private investigators. One of the cases
discussed involved a messy divorce with associated messy custody
dispute. One of the breaks came when the PIs discovered evidence that
the mother's new boyfriend had been sexually abusing the kids. He'd
done this by putting white chocolate sauce on his choad and then
getting the kids to lick it off. As a result, they really didn't like
sundaes all that much.

ObT: Somebody who doesn't know this history offering one of the kids
a white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookie, and the reaction
they'd get.

Syd Midnight

unread,
Jul 1, 2001, 4:59:37 AM7/1/01
to
"A.Lizard" wrote:
>
> On Sat, 30 Jun 2001 00:47:40 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
> <j...@lavarnway.mv.com> wrote:
>
> [snip]
> >
> >My husband is betting on either Tide and gasoline or Vaseline and
> >gasoline.
>
> this is from memory.
> 1 part gasoline
> 1 part benzine
> 2 parts expanded polystyrene
> (presumably by weight)
>
> the street approximation is 1 part gas, 1 part Joy detergent.

I've heard another shortcut os to dissolve styrofoam in gasoline until
it's adequately gelled. I'd try that if I was so inclined...
The old "rag in a bottle of gasoline" is suicidal. The molotov
cocktail recipe I heard used, as a detonator, a menstrual pad soaked in
gasoline, wrapped in a ziplock bag, duct taped to the neck of the
bottle. It'll stay fresh for weeks, a flick of a lighter will ignite it,
and the duct tape will secure it to the bottle for as long as you'd care
to hold a burning bottle of gasoline.
Sadly, I've never engaged in any form of gasoline mischief (huffed it
a couple times in my idiot teenage years), so I'm talking out my ass.

ObT: Next weekend is going to be a LOT of fun in Northern Ireland.
It's that time of year when the pro-British hold their marches, the
leader of the Orange order has called for "hundreds of thousands" to
fill the streets, and he also refused to discourage violence... and is
daring the IRA to do something about it.
I think saturday is the big march. Mayhem's guaranteed. Check the
international news on sunday, CS tear gas and molotov cocktails will be
making an appearance, possibly rubber bullets and bombs too.

--
Syd

EMT420

unread,
Jul 1, 2001, 5:39:26 PM7/1/01
to
E Varden <jp...@interlog.com> wrote in message news:<3B3E09F7...@interlog.com>...

> Jellied gasoline. You can't get it off.

As immortalized in Fight Club: "Did you know if you mix equal parts
gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate, you can make napalm?"
and of course "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

Lenore Levine

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 9:31:57 AM7/2/01
to
bla...@creepshow.com (Jonathan "Nature Boy" Blaque) writes:

>Alas, the hunt for an honest, lawful way to obtain
>illegal and dangerous drugs continues.

>Nature Boy (II)
>Veni Vidi Vicodin

Contract a chronic illness? I'm sure there are a lot of people with
one of those who would be glad to give it to you. If they could figure
out how to arrange a transfer.

Felis Concolor

ObT: The morons who were playing rap music in the parking lot under
our apartment at 1 or 2 the other morning. I suppose if I told them,

"1. You're trailer trash.
2. Your father is your uncle.
3. Your greatest use to humanity would be as pet food,"

whipped out an Uzi, blew their brains off, and then dragged their
carcasses into this apartment to use as tabby treats, the manager
might complain.

On other hand, he might not.

--
"If a building contains federal offices, a child care center, and
an abortion clinic, is it OK to blow it up?" -- Dale, in alt.tasteless

Peggy Currid

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 10:11:55 AM7/2/01
to
Lenore Levine <lev...@math.uiuc.edu> wrote:

>ObT: The morons who were playing rap music in the parking lot under
>our apartment at 1 or 2 the other morning. I suppose if I told them,
>
>"1. You're trailer trash.
> 2. Your father is your uncle.
> 3. Your greatest use to humanity would be as pet food,"
>
>whipped out an Uzi, blew their brains off, and then dragged their
>carcasses into this apartment to use as tabby treats, the manager
>might complain.
>
>On other hand, he might not.

If you decide to follow up on your urge and do humanity the favor, please
be sure to tell the arresting officer that you mistook the victims for
your own children. That way, you will get loads of sympathy and probably
escape harsh punishment.

I'd call that a win-win scenario.

Peggy

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 1:50:22 PM7/2/01
to
Jessica Lavarnway <j...@lavarnway.mv.com> like, said in
article <3301ktc6u7moh1oi1...@4ax.com> ,
and like, I thought that, you know, I had to say
something back:
>
> ObDieting: I weigh more now than I did when I popped the sprog. My
> big question is, a) will it stop? and b) I have to EXERCISE? [I have
> no idea how I'll pass my next PT test] and c) are there any Reese's
> Peanut Butter Cups in the house?

You're going to get a fuck of a lot heavier before you
lose it. Many of us who've bred do; look around you--
most of the 20-ish girls with babies are a little on the
chunky side, working up to heifer proportions. Once you
get to my age you start, as I did, slimming down. Many
of the women you see power-walking in your neighborhood
are probably my age. I still have some weight to drop.
I figure I'll be a goddamn *babe* around the time I'm 80.

I had a flashback in a restaurant the other day--a
Brazilian Barbeque joint. It was great--a buffet filled
with side dishes, and a thing on the table that you use
to signal for barbequed meat: green, keep bringing meat.
Red meant "stop, I'm full." I went to the buffet and
grabbed a nice hefty portion of salad (mostly lettuce),
light on the dressing (mostly vinigar, little oil) and
enjoyed two ounce servings of beef, turkey, lamb, pork,
chicken. (They bring up the meat and give you little
servings of each, knowing that you're going to keep that
green signal up most of the time you're there. I asked
for yet smaller portions, so I could sample a large
variety of stuff without eating too much.)

Across from us was a family of four: thin hubby, two
toddlers, and Mom. Mom was easily 100 pounds heavier
than Dad, and still wearing the maternity clothes she
bought when she was pregnant with the (what looked like
a) one year old. Mom's plate was heavy with rice,
potatoes, corn and bread, and they couldn't shovel the
meat fast enough at her.

I looked at her and saw me, about a decade ago. I wanted
to run up and throw all those carbs on the floor, and
tell her what to eat. I resisted the urge, and watched
her arm jiggle (she was wearing a sleeveless blouse) as
it went from plate to mouth instead.


--
--Ginny

"I like madness. I've discovered a secret. You don't
have to be online everyday. Its true. There _are_
other things to do. Like making salamis out of this
worlds oppressed."

--Herry, Message-ID: <3B1E3BB4...@ftc.gov>

That Funky Chick

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 2:52:46 PM7/2/01
to
On Mon, 02 Jul 2001 10:11:00 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
<j...@lavarnway.mv.com> muttered something like:

>ObDieting: I weigh more now than I did when I popped the sprog. My
>big question is, a) will it stop? and b) I have to EXERCISE? [I have
>no idea how I'll pass my next PT test] and c) are there any Reese's
>Peanut Butter Cups in the house?

Sadly, this is a universal result of breeding. I don't know what the
evolutionary advantage of it is--maybe your body figures you've started
churning out the sprogs, so it's time to hoarde calories in between
babymaking so that you'll have some reserves when the next leech hooks up
to the umbilicus.

Before reproducing I never had a problem with my weight, never worried
about what to eat or whether to exercise. After the first one I weighed
more than I ever had in my life. The ten or so pounds I ejected during
childbirth was quickly regained during the following months.

And tragically--yeah, you do have to exercise now, if you want to have any
hope of losing it. Or, for that matter, not increasing it. Took me years
of dedicated effort to get back to anything resembling my pre-pregnancy
weight. And the stretch marks are there for good... no more bare midriffs
for me.

-Bertha
--
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic

Lenore Levine

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 9:25:21 PM7/2/01
to
san...@speakHEADeasy.org (Wes Payne) writes:

>On Fri, 29 Jun 2001 23:35:17 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
><j...@lavarnway.mv.com> wrote:

>>What the fuck IS napalm, anyway?

>Oh, my-- Jess.


>Some say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Others
>say that it's through his fly. Others say that it's through his
>ribcage.
>While all those work for me, another sure way to gain my affections is
>to ask me to explain nasty implements of destruction. The subject
>matter is near and dear to my heart, and I just *love* playing the
>role of teacher sometimes.

Hmmm...

On alt.peeves, I told Jess that saying she was a "nymphomaniac"
was too obvious for that crowd; that the best way to make her
persona fascinating to guys was to convey an interest in weapons.

ObHint: Jess, you know, it's a shame you don't dig chihuahuas, Bosco,
or aluminum siding. Or accordions. Any kind of accordions. That's
what the men of a.t. think is really cool.

ObT: Jess takes me up on this.

Felis Concolor

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 9:35:52 PM7/2/01
to
Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
>Chihuahuas, Bosco, and aluminum siding aside, I did learn how to play
>an accordion well as a kid. I actually retrieved it from my parents'
>house two months ago and started digging through my old arrangements
>and trying to find stuff I could still play. (I was down to Beer
>Barrel Polka when I realized I needed practice before I was ever
>playing Guns and Roses again.)

what the *fuck* G'n'R songs can be played on the accordion?

>ObT: Accordion porn. Combining S&M with geekiness.

Topless All-Girl Accordian Band - "Ladies In Pain"
(*snork*)

ObWeird: a duet between Slash and an accordian player...

sqzme

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 10:26:07 PM7/2/01
to
> I had a flashback in a restaurant the other day--a
> Brazilian Barbeque joint. It was great--a buffet filled
> with side dishes, and a thing on the table that you use
> to signal for barbequed meat: green, keep bringing meat.
> Red meant "stop, I'm full." I went to the buffet and
> grabbed a nice hefty portion of salad (mostly lettuce),
> light on the dressing (mostly vinigar, little oil) and
> enjoyed two ounce servings of beef, turkey, lamb, pork,

sheeit, bitch, i been there too. Mid town Manhattan,
place is expensive as hell. When i was at the buffet,
i was munching what was on my plate as I was moving along
the line and the buffet lady comes over and tells me i have
to get back to my seat before i can resume eating again.
nasty whore. the green/red card system is interesting
though. now only if they got rid of all the male waiters
and introduced bronzed brazilian women in thong bikinis....

--sqzme

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 10:36:50 PM7/2/01
to
Jessica Lavarnway wrote:
>>what the *fuck* G'n'R songs can be played on the accordion?
>Between all the shifts that allow different reeds and octaves to be
>played, you can actually do some pretty stunning things with an
>accordion. Add in a MIDI board, and you have most of the capabilities
>(or more, depending on your particular mindset) of a MIDI keyboard.

you could probably make a kazoo sound good if you
connected it to a MIDI board.

hmm... i *have* a kazoo. i have perfect pitch. i have
the tools and equipment to kludge up all sorts of connectors.
if i could afford a MIDI board, i'd be the next musical
sensation.

>When I was fourteen, I played in the ATAM convention in the 13 & Up
>Popular Music competition (iirc the age demarcation correctly) with an
>arrangement of "November Rain" I did myself. (It's not difficult when
>you have the piano and guitar books to work out a really good
>accordion version, since the guitar books clearly demarcate the
>chords, which is what you need to work with the basses [there are
>converter switches to switch it into individual basses, but I never
>personally got the hang of it -- it's complicated and you can't *see*
>what you're doing].)
>I thought the arrangement of November Rain came out really well until
>the guitar solo at the end, but to hell with it, I did well in
>competition and that's all I cared about at the time. It sure as shit
>was better than playing the Flight of the Bumblebee like everyone
>else, or an arrangement of Lady of Spain.

it's probably before your time, but did you ever see
the Lawrence Welk tv show? people in tuxedos and evening
gowns playing accordians, while more people in tuxedos
and evening gowns danced the polka! (while a bubble
machine, his trademark, cranked out clouds of bubbles
behind the band...)

>I liked it, and my notorious accordion-disliking husband thought it
>actually came out sounding like November Rain. I like playing music I
>know, which is probably why I stuck to piano a lot more than accordion
>once I quit lessons. Finding good accordion arrangements is
>difficult, and finding music heavy on treble and low on bass is also
>difficult.

most rock songs are pretty heavy on the bass.

>ObAnnoyed: For shits and giggles, I rented The Craft. My college
>roomie, my husband, and I all sat there, picking it apart, piece by
>piece. (Jason claims their god was a tree god. Neither Ange nor I
>had ever heard of him.)

i found that movie annoying too. but i'd *really* like
to be able to make snakes come up out of the toilet...

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 2, 2001, 11:25:23 PM7/2/01
to
sqz...@yahoo.com like, said in article
<107af225.01070...@posting.google.com>, and like, I thought that, you

know, I had to say something back:
>
>> I had a flashback in a restaurant the other day--a
>> Brazilian Barbeque joint. It was great--a buffet filled
>> with side dishes, and a thing on the table that you use
>> to signal for barbequed meat: green, keep bringing meat.
>> Red meant "stop, I'm full."


>


>sheeit, bitch, i been there too. Mid town Manhattan,

Where in Manhattan? I went to one in NJ; I think it was Hackensack. Might be
part of a chain. The one I went to didn't have cards, the green/red thing was a
wooden dowel, green on one end, red on the other, yellow in the middle. The
yellow part had an advertisement or liquor.

Good food, expensive restaurant...but don't use the bathroom. I couldn't; me
and a sproggen went in there, and found all of the toilets unusable. Looked
like an ATer was in there--one stall had shit smeared on it; one had an
overflowing toilet; one had piss all over the seat.

I did complain; for a $104 dinner (for two adults/2 children) I should have been
able to leave *something* in the toilet.

ygrii

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 5:52:10 AM7/3/01
to

Ace Lightning wrote in message <3B412FC0...@monmouth.com>...

>...did you ever see


>the Lawrence Welk tv show?

Heh. My mother-in-law went to high school with one of the guys in the band--
Myron Floren, or some shit. She brags about it on occasion. I asked her once
if he was hung like a moose and she wouldn't speak to me for a month. Since
she's been getting awfully chummy again lately, I may have to ask her again.

Roberta Hatch

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 9:04:58 AM7/3/01
to
Ace Lightning <acelig...@monmouth.com> wrote:

>it's probably before your time, but did you ever see
>the Lawrence Welk tv show? people in tuxedos and evening
>gowns playing accordians, while more people in tuxedos
>and evening gowns danced the polka! (while a bubble
>machine, his trademark, cranked out clouds of bubbles
>behind the band...)

Myron Floren was Welk's regular accordion player. I always
figured he was a faggot, a child molester or some sort of a pervert.
I did notice that someone else claims his mother-in-law had a date
with him, so he isn't (that's right, he's still alive) a faggot.

Anyway, they played maybe one polka tune each show. You can
still catch old reruns of the show on PBS. And a one... and a two...

Bobbi

---
Roberta Hatch http://www.tamucc.edu/~whatley/pols2306/hatch.htm '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)

Buckley

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 10:05:17 AM7/3/01
to

Ace Lightning wrote:

> you could probably make a kazoo sound good if you
> connected it to a MIDI board.

I've actually done that and annoyed the hell out of my dogs with it. It's
fairly simple with any of DigiTech's Vocalist boxes-- there's a setting
that turns microphone source material into a MIDI driver. Sure, you get
some bizarre slides and pitch jumps, but isn't that half the fun? And, by
the way, if you don't have perfect pitch, you'll probably want to use one
of the internal pitch correction programs.

Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 11:43:35 AM7/3/01
to

"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
news:9hrdv...@drn.newsguy.com...

> Where in Manhattan? I went to one in NJ; I think it was Hackensack.
Might be
> part of a chain. The one I went to didn't have cards, the green/red thing
was a
> wooden dowel, green on one end, red on the other, yellow in the middle.
The
> yellow part had an advertisement or liquor.

Fuck -I've been to that one in Hackensack. Once. I got such amazingly acute
food poisoning from the fucker, I never went back. Call me old-fashioned.

> Good food, expensive restaurant...but don't use the bathroom. I couldn't;
me
> and a sproggen went in there, and found all of the toilets unusable.
Looked
> like an ATer was in there--one stall had shit smeared on it; one had an
> overflowing toilet; one had piss all over the seat.

Now you know why...

That Funky Chick

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 2:14:10 PM7/3/01
to
On 3 Jul 2001 13:04:58 GMT, Roberta Hatch <bha...@rahul.net> muttered
something like:

> Anyway, they played maybe one polka tune each show. You can
>still catch old reruns of the show on PBS. And a one... and a two...

My grandmother, on hearing news she liked, used to exclaim "WANderful!"
I'm quite sure she picked it up from watching Welk.

-Bertha
--
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 3:54:13 PM7/3/01
to

damn, i wish i could afford some new audio gear!

(and i *do* have perfect pitch.)

Eddie Blaque

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 4:53:03 PM7/3/01
to
On Tue, 03 Jul 2001 01:25:21 GMT, lev...@math.uiuc.edu (Lenore Levine)
wrote:

>ObHint: Jess, you know, it's a shame you don't dig chihuahuas, Bosco,
>or aluminum siding. Or accordions. Any kind of accordions. That's
>what the men of a.t. think is really cool.

Sure.. Tell the whole world about it. Go ahead and spill the beans on
the Secret AT International Pastime.

Now we're going to have poseurs out there soaking chihuahuas in Bosco
while dismembering them with sharpened pieces of aluminum siding while
listening to accordion music.

It won't be considered cool any more, dammit!

Eddie

ObT.. Jess taking a chihuahua blood bubble bath while eating
barbecued chunks of chihuahua meat soaked in the AT Special
Barbecue Sauce.

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 5:09:14 PM7/3/01
to
Dan Sutton <d...@opwernby.com> like, said in article
<HKl07.493$OW3.1...@monger.newsread.com> , and like, I
thought that, you know, I had to say something back:
>
> "JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
> news:9hrdv...@drn.newsguy.com...
>
> > Where in Manhattan? I went to one in NJ; I think it was Hackensack.
> Might be
> > part of a chain. The one I went to didn't have cards, the green/red thing
> was a
> > wooden dowel, green on one end, red on the other, yellow in the middle.
> The
> > yellow part had an advertisement or liquor.
>
> Fuck -I've been to that one in Hackensack. Once. I got such amazingly acute
> food poisoning from the fucker, I never went back. Call me old-fashioned.

Wow! Another ATer, in close proximity. You con't
have to register as an offender anywhere, do you?
Anyway, Keep reading....


>
> > Good food, expensive restaurant...but don't use the bathroom. I couldn't;
> me
> > and a sproggen went in there, and found all of the toilets unusable.
> Looked
> > like an ATer was in there--one stall had shit smeared on it; one had an
> > overflowing toilet; one had piss all over the seat.
>
> Now you know why...
>

For you (and other ATers, especially ones with a
medical background): We ate there late last week. The
next day, one of the sproggen had a physical which
included a blood test.

That test came back today with elevated liver enzymes.
Not by much--normal's apparently 30, and the kid's got a
40 count--but it's higher than normal, and I have to take
her in for another blood test next week to make sure it
wasn't a "fluke."

Is a day too soon for hepatitis?


--

Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 5:56:04 PM7/3/01
to

"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message

> > Fuck -I've been to that one in Hackensack. Once. I got such amazingly


acute
> > food poisoning from the fucker, I never went back. Call me
old-fashioned.
>
> Wow! Another ATer, in close proximity. You con't
> have to register as an offender anywhere, do you?
> Anyway, Keep reading....

Only on netauthority.org. Ha ha ha. I used to live in Crack'n'Black, but I
left it for Union City when I decided I was beginning to hate it too much.
Hate Union City, too, but it's as cheap as shit and I don't tend to spend
much time there...

> For you (and other ATers, especially ones with a
> medical background): We ate there late last week. The
> next day, one of the sproggen had a physical which
> included a blood test.
>
> That test came back today with elevated liver enzymes.
> Not by much--normal's apparently 30, and the kid's got a
> 40 count--but it's higher than normal, and I have to take
> her in for another blood test next week to make sure it
> wasn't a "fluke."

Ah, then that would explain the food poisoning thing I got: probably had
something to do with acute migraine. As organd go, my liver's not the most
tolerant example of the genre...

> Is a day too soon for hepatitis?

Not in Hackensack, it isn't.

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 3, 2001, 9:50:58 PM7/3/01
to
"Dan like, said in article <Ubr07.527$OW3.1...@monger.newsread.com>, and like,

I thought that, you know, I had to say something back:
>
>
>"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
>
>> Is a day too soon for hepatitis?
>
>Not in Hackensack, it isn't.
>
>

If there's a "Welcome to Hackensack" sign still standing, the above should be
engraved on it.

You're not from the area, are ya--Union City is trading *down* from Hackensack.
Hell, why not just move to Paterson, Newark or Irvington, and get it over with?

Lenore Levine

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 2:37:08 AM7/4/01
to
Eddie Blaque <deli...@netscape.net> writes:

>ObT.. Jess taking a chihuahua blood bubble bath while eating
>barbecued chunks of chihuahua meat soaked in the AT Special
>Barbecue Sauce.

Sheesh...how could I forget the Velveeta?

ObT: For some reason, Velveeta seems to be awfully popular at the
big Safeway near the Muni going to Castro Street in San Francisco.
Large displays of it, all the time.

Do those effete decadents really eat the stuff?

Lenore "inquiring minds want to know" Levine

--

"Now we're going to have poseurs out there soaking chihuahuas in Bosco
while dismembering them with sharpened pieces of aluminum siding while
listening to accordion music. It won't be considered cool any more,

dammit!" -- Eddie Blaque deconstructs Faith Popcorn

Eddie Blaque

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 3:58:00 AM7/4/01
to
On Wed, 04 Jul 2001 06:37:08 GMT, lev...@math.uiuc.edu (Lenore Levine)
wrote:

>Eddie Blaque <deli...@netscape.net> writes:


>
>>ObT.. Jess taking a chihuahua blood bubble bath while eating
>>barbecued chunks of chihuahua meat soaked in the AT Special
>>Barbecue Sauce.
>
>Sheesh...how could I forget the Velveeta?
>
>ObT: For some reason, Velveeta seems to be awfully popular at the
>big Safeway near the Muni going to Castro Street in San Francisco.
>Large displays of it, all the time.
>
>Do those effete decadents really eat the stuff?
>
>Lenore "inquiring minds want to know" Levine

I wonder if the idea of using Velveeta as an "edible" lubricant got
passed on before Queen Pee died.

Eddie

Velveeta - Is it a sandwich topping or an anal lubricant? These
questions answered and more next on Geraldo.

Ed Clarke

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 10:30:41 AM7/4/01
to
On Tue, 3 Jul 2001 17:09:14 -0400, JustmeŽ
<gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote:
>Dan Sutton <d...@opwernby.com> like, said in article
><HKl07.493$OW3.1...@monger.newsread.com> , and like, I
>> > Where in Manhattan? I went to one in NJ; I think it was Hackensack.
>> Might be part of a chain. The one I went to didn't have cards,
>> the green/red thing was a wooden dowel, green on one end, red on the
>> other, yellow in the middle. The yellow part had an advertisement or liquor.
>> Fuck -I've been to that one in Hackensack. Once. I got such amazingly acute
>> food poisoning from the fucker, I never went back. Call me old-fashioned.
>Wow! Another ATer, in close proximity. You con't
>have to register as an offender anywhere, do you?

The restaurant in Manhattan is "Churrascaria Plataforma", 316 W 49th street.
As I recall, it was about forty bucks a head plus booze. Full of yuppies.
Good food though.

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 11:02:10 AM7/4/01
to
In article <oQy07.1601$t8.1...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, lev...@math.uiuc.edu
says...

>Sheesh...how could I forget the Velveeta?
>
>ObT: For some reason, Velveeta seems to be awfully popular at the
>big Safeway near the Muni going to Castro Street in San Francisco.
>Large displays of it, all the time.
>
>Do those effete decadents really eat the stuff?
>
>Lenore "inquiring minds want to know" Levine
>
I have a horrible, sinking feeling -- based solely on memories of the stuff, as
I haven't purchased/knowingly eaten it in decades -- that at body temperature,
Velveeta might make a viscous-yet-tasty lube.

ObT: Convincing the SR to try it out with me, just for fun.

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)
Not to mention the obvious irony of including "no weirdos" in an ad
seeking a diaper fetishist. - Gerald Belton

That Funky Chick

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 12:21:14 PM7/4/01
to
On 4 Jul 2001 08:02:10 -0700, Nanook of the North <robn...@my-deja.com>
muttered something like:

>I have a horrible, sinking feeling -- based solely on memories of the stuff, as
>I haven't purchased/knowingly eaten it in decades -- that at body temperature,
>Velveeta might make a viscous-yet-tasty lube.
>
>ObT: Convincing the SR to try it out with me, just for fun.

I'm still trying to convince my SD to let me try out chocolate syrup
and/or whipped cream on Mr. Happy. Are all men this fussy about
experimentation with Mr. Happy, or is it just mine?

-Bertha
--
"The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel
worse, and making a few bucks while you're at it." -- "Bleeding Gums" Murphy

Julian Macassey

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 1:14:48 PM7/4/01
to
In article <slrn9k6gkt...@localhost.localdomain>,

That Funky Chick <ber...@mhn.org> wrote:
>
>I'm still trying to convince my SD to let me try out chocolate syrup
>and/or whipped cream on Mr. Happy. Are all men this fussy about
>experimentation with Mr. Happy, or is it just mine?

I think it is just yours.

The Jewish Princess came over last night. She left me a
Voice Mail at work saying: "Shall I bring desert? Oh, I forgot, I
am desert."

Later she suggested that I could be breakfast. She
decided that Mr. Tiny with butter and maple syrup would be ideal.

She left before breakfast. Bummer.

ObT: She takes hypnotic sleeping pills at night. It is
fascinating fucking her while she sleeps. When zonked, fucking
her is like a "normal chick". She is wet, and she moans, and
thrusts. When conscious fucking her is like riding a really
pissed of rodeo bull.

ObThread tie in: I discussed pussy eating with her and asked her
how she liked it. She gave me an "Are you nuts?" look and told me
she loves having her pussy eaten and can do it for hours. She
said that when she masturbates, her fantasy is about being eaten.
--
Frankly, cup peeing, lie detectors, etc. are mostly BS. They just permit sloppy
management to pass on hard decisions to labs and technicians. - John Gilmer

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 1:16:30 PM7/4/01
to
In article <slrn9k6gkt...@localhost.localdomain>, ber...@mhn.org says...

>I'm still trying to convince my SD to let me try out chocolate syrup
>and/or whipped cream on Mr. Happy. Are all men this fussy about
>experimentation with Mr. Happy, or is it just mine?

GlubDamn, girl, where were you when I was single?

I keep making loving references to the use of 35 C chocolate syrup to my SR, and
she keeps calling me sick. Sigh.

ObT: My banana split fantasy. Insert banana into partner's vagina. Cover
breasts and pussy with, in this order, warm chocolate syrup, mounds of whipped
cream, and a maraschino cherry. Slowly, teasingly, tantalizingly remove said
condiments with tongue. Finish by slowly sucking banana from vagina and eating
it as it emerges. With any luck, partner is then a quivering mass of jello
ready for a hard slamming fuckfest.

ObMoreT: Wondering what weird and wonderful infections could result from vaginal
banana insertion.

ObMostT: Using two bananas....

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

Lemon curry? - Monty Python's Flying Circus

That Funky Chick

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 3:11:40 PM7/4/01
to
On 4 Jul 2001 10:16:30 -0700, Nanook of the North <robn...@my-deja.com>
muttered something like:

>GlubDamn, girl, where were you when I was single?

Probably being overlooked in favor of the blatant sluts. I was fairly
quiet, didn't swear every other word, and didn't sleep around, and for
some reason this seemed to give other people the impression that I was an
innocent, upright young lady. Even into college they would act surprised
if I told crude jokes or made it known that I had any knowledge of the
more perverted sex games available.

I think the only way I'm going to get to try out my experimenations with
SD's Organ o' Fun is if I just get assertive and bossy. Store a little
jug of Hershey's in my nightstand, and when I catch him alone tell him
"All right, this is what we're doing tonight. Strip!"

-Bertha
--
An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool.

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 6:54:33 PM7/4/01
to
Ed Clarke <cla...@spanker.cilia.org> like, said in
article <slrn9k6a4h...@spanker.cilia.org> , and
like, I thought that, you know, I had to say something
back:
> On Tue, 3 Jul 2001 17:09:14 -0400, Justme®
Hey! Just a cab ride away from the office--mebbee I'll
pop in for food before work one night, and see if they
can't poison me!

Of course, if it really IS full of yuppies I can only
wonder if that guy that hit salad bars with fecal matter
visited that place, too, out of spite. Nothin' like a
little extra sauce on yer greens!


--

s...@ihatespam.gov

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 8:05:54 PM7/4/01
to
"Justme®" wrote:
>
> For you (and other ATers, especially ones with a
> medical background): We ate there late last week. The
> next day, one of the sproggen had a physical which
> included a blood test.
>
> That test came back today with elevated liver enzymes.
> Not by much--normal's apparently 30, and the kid's got a
> 40 count--but it's higher than normal, and I have to take
> her in for another blood test next week to make sure it
> wasn't a "fluke."
>
> Is a day too soon for hepatitis?

I think I know the test you're talking about. I took one after
receiving a letter from the Red Cross in 1996 asking me to keep the fuck
away from their blood donation centers. Fuck'em, if that's the way they
wanna be. I think one of the crabby old ladies on duty mistook the
pimples on the inside of my elbow for track marks.

I went to the Dr for a blood test, he said my liver looked "funny".
Not bad, "funny". I got like 200 on the test, like 7 or 8 times normal.
He said that if it was hepatitis, your score is more like 1200, so my
liver wasn't damaged, just "funny".

I think it's because in the few years before, I'd been stupidly taking
large amounts of OTC pills to try to keep myself in some kinda stupor.
Once I washed down 1/2 a bottle of tricyclic antidepressants with a
bottle of mouthwash. If that doesn't make your liver "funny", I don't
know what will.

Anyways, I guess it got better. I don't even drink now that my job
closed down, which is why the quality and quantity of my posts has
dropped considerably.

--
Rev. Syd Midnight - Remove TREET from tree...@treet.nls.net
"As you might expect, this job is really ruining my sex life. These
ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."
-- Sperm bank curator, Singapore Zoo

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 4, 2001, 8:29:09 PM7/4/01
to
s...@ihatespam.gov wrote:
> Anyways, I guess it got better. I don't even drink now that my job
>closed down, which is why the quality and quantity of my posts has
>dropped considerably.

yeah, but have you bathed recently?

("recently" being defined as "in the last week or so")

s...@ihatespam.gov

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:51:16 AM7/5/01
to

Funny you should mention, no. I do wear underarm deodorant, and I
notice that my underarm hair is about 1/4" long, which means it's been
about 2 weeks since my last shower (I shave my pits for some reason).
It's about time for me to change my clothes as well... last time I
changed them was over the weekend when my sister had some friends over,
I felt a change of clothes and a once-over with a washcloth was
appropriate.
I haven't been out of the house in the last 2 weeks except to see my
shrink, so my mind doesn't see bathing as a necessity. On the bright
side, I've started practicing my bass guitar again. I can't play it out
loud without an amp, but I can plug it into my PC... it's a clanky old
Rickenbacker, but the neck pickup should work as a MIDI controller if I
can get my hands on some MIDI composing software that has a crack
available on AstaLaVista.

ObT: The cat decided to liven things up by bringing in a field mouse,
and watching me chase it. I spent about 1/2 an hour rearranging
furniture, intent on stomping the vermin. No luck. The only rodent trap
we have is an old Victor rat trap, which would probably catch the cat
instead. I'd hate to have to buy new traps; I prefer to crush mice with
my feet or a wadded up fistful of newspaper.
If I can just corner it in a room, I can play Marine Sniper when I
have the house to myself and pick it off with my BB gun, which should be
accurate enough at 5 yards. With luck, I'll get some death thrashing
instead of the usual eyeballs-popping-out.

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:27:21 AM7/5/01
to
s...@ihatespam.gov like, said in article <3B43AE75...@nls.net>, and like, I

thought that, you know, I had to say something back:
>
>
> Anyways, I guess it got better. I don't even drink now that my job
>closed down, which is why the quality and quantity of my posts has
>dropped considerably.

I'm all your grabbing whatever bottles of urine you still have floating around,
opening them and drinking up, get back to the alchoholism and for the love of
CHRIST get back to posting.

First topic to work on--what is worse for you, 100 proof alchohol or stale
urine?

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 1:22:46 AM7/5/01
to
s...@ihatespam.gov wrote:
>>yeah, but have you bathed recently?
>>("recently" being defined as "in the last week or so")
> Funny you should mention, no. I do wear underarm deodorant, and I
>notice that my underarm hair is about 1/4" long, which means it's been
>about 2 weeks since my last shower (I shave my pits for some reason).
>It's about time for me to change my clothes as well... last time I
>changed them was over the weekend when my sister had some friends over,
>I felt a change of clothes and a once-over with a washcloth was
>appropriate.
> I haven't been out of the house in the last 2 weeks except to see my
>shrink, so my mind doesn't see bathing as a necessity.

fine, but don't expect *me* to fuck you...

Matt Olson

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 11:22:12 AM7/5/01
to
<BLINK> Quoth Jeff Justin (jeffj...@newsfeeds.com):

> I'll bow to Nanookie on the specifics, but I know you can buy
> codiene preparations OTC north of the border. Pills that are
> like Tylenol #3 acetaminophen/codiene are available. I think
> you can also get the codiene suppositories OTC as well, but
> knowing you and your dislike of anything around your ass other
> than your own shit and TP, I guess those are out of the
> question.

I recently got a scrip for Tee Threes after getting my left
fibula plated. Disappointing little fuckers, IMHO.

The guy next to me in emergency was getting oral morphine for
some sort of chronic condition. Of course, being an ungrate-
ful Canuckian bastard, he wouldn't share.

ObT: Riots here in Edmonchuk on Canuckia Day. The pictures
that showed up in the papers were spectacular -- drunk
patriots getting tear gassed, pepper sprayed, attacked by
police dogs, beaten by cops with riot shields and telescoping
batons, throwing bricks through store windows, looting, the
works. *sniff* I'm so proud to live here.

Cheers,
Matt

Dale R Worley

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:05:57 PM7/5/01
to
Clearly, we need to record a "screamer" as she orgasms, then MIDI
sample it, then play, say, Beethoven's Ninth on the new instrument.
Call it the "orgasmitron"...

BTW, USAnians shoot fireworks on Independence Day, Brits do it on Guy
Fawkes Day, but when to Canucks blow things up?

Dale

Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:16:54 PM7/5/01
to

"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
news:9htsq...@drn.newsguy.com...

> You're not from the area, are ya--Union City is trading *down* from
Hackensack.
> Hell, why not just move to Paterson, Newark or Irvington, and get it over
with?

It's not trading down from Hackensack when you consider how much easier it
is to get into Manhattan. All I have to do is walk down to the river at the
end of my street, and there's a ferry that can get me to the world financial
centre in 7 minutes flat, assuming I time it right and don't have to wait
for ever for the next ferry to show up. There's also a bunch of really nasty
little buses which can get to the Port Authority at 42nd St. in about 10
minutes. It's cheap, too. Most of the residents are Cubans, who basically
don't give a shit about anything - not like Jersey City, Paterson, Newark or
Irvington, where they're Puerto Ricans and blacks, and would kill you for a
cigarette. I can go out and eat dinner for $3 (assuming I like Cuban food).
Strangely enough, nobody has *ever* asked me for money on the streets in
Union City - which one can't say about any of the other places mentioned
here, including Manhattan.

...but apart from that, it's a shit hole. I agree. So's my apartment. It
must be all those years spent in Chicago. Now that was a real toilet...


Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:20:23 PM7/5/01
to

"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
news:9i0qb...@drn.newsguy.com...

>
> First topic to work on--what is worse for you, 100 proof alchohol or stale
> urine?

There was apparently a town in Siberia around the end of the 1800's which
was surrounded by a certain amount of naturally-occurring magic mushrooms.
The rich people there would eat the magic mushrooms and then leave their
piss outside their houses in leather buckets for the poor people to drink,
since the hallucinogen would pass through unchanged. So there was a large
underclass of people, a normal activity of whose day was to drink other
peoples' piss...


Steve Coltrin

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 12:30:09 PM7/5/01
to
wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:

> BTW, USAnians shoot fireworks on Independence Day, Brits do it on Guy
> Fawkes Day, but when to Canucks blow things up?

I recommend December 6: http://www.region.halifax.ns.ca/community/explode.html

ObT: the ammonia-laden silica gel slurry that accumulates at the bottom of
my cats' litter box. The stuff worked better in a dry climate.

--
Steve Coltrin spco...@omcl.org http://www.omcl.org/~spcoltri/
The smell of lost innocence, particularly the painted-on, nausea-inducing,
intestine-pinkish innocence, has such a sweet aroma, sweeter still than
even the luscious scent of charred infant flesh. - "Übermensch", a.t

Michael Brown

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 1:44:29 PM7/5/01
to
According to Dale R Worley <wor...@world.std.com>:

>BTW, USAnians shoot fireworks on Independence Day, Brits do it on Guy
>Fawkes Day, but when to Canucks blow things up?

Canada Day, July 1st, 4 days ago, when it was far too cold for July.
Warm weather all week, freezing on Sunday (1st), then nice weather. Grrr...

ObNsT: http://www.ibft.org/ibft040.txt

Jeff Justin

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 1:57:27 PM7/5/01
to
When we last heard from Julian Macassey, in message
news:9hviu8$6t9$1...@bokassa.tele.com,
posted in alt.tasteless, on Wed, 04 Jul 2001 17:14:48 GMT.
He, she, or it graced us with the following:

> Later she suggested that I could be breakfast. She
> decided that Mr. Tiny with butter and maple syrup would be
> ideal.

Be very careful about where you engage in these games. It's all
good fun until the sticky stuff gets all over the bed and gets
spilled on the carpet etc.

I had a partner who liked to bring a jar of honey to bed and
drizzle it on my sweetstick. She said the sweetness of the
honey took care of the salty taste of the jizz, so she was more
willing to chow down on the white and creamy. Like I was going
to question her motive anyway.

But then she did this while drunk, and the next day I found
sticky bits of honey everywhere in my bedroom. It took weeks to
find all of the places that honey got smeared, daubed, tracked
and wiped. Meanwhile I had a series of other women asking why
there were sticky spots here, there and everywhere.

My suggestion, save it for a weekend fuck-fest at a motel, bed
and breakfast or at grammy and grampy's house. If it's grammy
and grampy's house, go for the whole shooting match, honey,
maple syrup, chocolate sauce, strawberry, blueberry and cherry
syrups and last but not least, blackstrap molasses.


Cheers,

Jeff Justin

ObT: Trying to clean a caked-on mixture of dried saliva, cum,
pussy residues and honey of one's pubes.


--

Insanity is a topic of peculiar interest to me. Despite my
theory that people with strong will-power and a sense of humor
never go off their nuts, I almost have first hand information
about it. - Joe Gould, Kook Philospher


-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
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Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 2:35:12 PM7/5/01
to
Dale R Worley wrote:
>Clearly, we need to record a "screamer" as she orgasms, then MIDI
>sample it, then play, say, Beethoven's Ninth on the new instrument.
>Call it the "orgasmitron"...

my son's girlfriend is a world-class screamer... *and*
she's studying to become an opera singer. and his bedroom
is right next to the computer room. hmm... just how long
is this mic cable...?

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 2:18:39 PM7/5/01
to
In article <WORLEY.01...@world.std.com>, wor...@world.std.com says...
When I was a kid and fireworks were more easily available, we did it on July 1.
(It used to be 'Dominion Day', but now it's the wimpy 'Canada Day'.) Other
Anglos used to do it on Victoria Day, which back then was always May 24 but is
now the second-last Monday in May. (See Rush's song 'Lakeside Park': "Everyone
would gather/On the 24th of May/Sitting in the sand to watch/The fireworks
display.")

I think the Frogs now prefer June 24, St. Jean-Baptiste Day (the feast day of
John the Baptist, Quebec's patron saint, and the anniversary of Jacques
Cartier's landing).

We generally don't blow ourselves up as much as you Yanks do, however.
Fireworks can be harder to get than guns nowadays.

ObT: Remembering a Bloom County or Outland strip in which Opus is trying to buy
fireworks for July 4. The store won't sell him any 'cause he might give his
fingers an owie. He says "Don't you have anything I can buy to go 'pop'?" The
last panel, he's holding what looks like an AK-47, saying "He said this goes
'pop'."

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

Don't be one of the scurrying, struggling ants. Be the shoe.
- Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 2:25:45 PM7/5/01
to
In article <8766d7i...@hrothgar.omcl.org>, Steve says...

>
>wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:
>
>> BTW, USAnians shoot fireworks on Independence Day, Brits do it on Guy
>> Fawkes Day, but when to Canucks blow things up?
>
>I recommend December 6: http://www.region.halifax.ns.ca/community/explode.html
>
Thanks, I forgot about that one.

ObStupid: X years ago, the federal government decided to donate some ungodly
amount of money (coupla hundred K, IIRC) to each provincial and territorial
capital for a Canada Day fireworks display. We in Yellowknife laughed: "Who the
fuck is going to be able to see them?! It's still daylight 24/7 here!!" City
told Ottawa to send money for some other purpose that would make sense here.
Feds said "Nope, fireworks or nuttin'." City took the nuttin'.

I sorta wish they'd actually done it one year. Would've been interesting to see
exactly how poorly the fireworks would show up against a
dimmer-than-noon-but-still-pretty-fuckin-bright midnight July sky.

ObT: Taking the fireworks, and sticking them up the local MP's butt before
setting them off, to see if he/she could fly all the way to Ottawa on their
power.

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

And language barrier or no, if you work near a piece of equipment that
eats *FOOT-THICK PINE LOGS* all day, then you should have the common
sense not to get anything near it that you don't want ripped off.
- drdoody

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 3:28:55 PM7/5/01
to
Strayhorn wrote:
>>ObT: Trying to clean a caked-on mixture of dried saliva, cum,
>>pussy residues and honey of one's pubes.
>You need some music to do this by. I recommend David Allen
>Coe's "Cum Stains On The Pillow", available as close as
>your nearest Aimster client.

<nitpick>
it's Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, not
David Allan Coe.
</nitpick>

tiger...@hotmail.com

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 5:02:57 PM7/5/01
to
On 5 Jul 2001 12:57:27 -0500, jeffj...@newsfeeds.com (Jeff Justin)
wrote:

>When we last heard from Julian Macassey, in message
>news:9hviu8$6t9$1...@bokassa.tele.com,
>posted in alt.tasteless, on Wed, 04 Jul 2001 17:14:48 GMT.
>He, she, or it graced us with the following:
>
>> Later she suggested that I could be breakfast. She
>> decided that Mr. Tiny with butter and maple syrup would be
>> ideal.
>
>Be very careful about where you engage in these games. It's all
>good fun until the sticky stuff gets all over the bed and gets
>spilled on the carpet etc.
>
>I had a partner who liked to bring a jar of honey to bed and
>drizzle it on my sweetstick. She said the sweetness of the
>honey took care of the salty taste of the jizz, so she was more
>willing to chow down on the white and creamy. Like I was going
>to question her motive anyway.

And if you really give a shit please go meet a lady from what we call
"The Butterscotch Palace" in Sydney N.S... Nanook knows what I'm
referring to...... An intensive care faciility painted in a lovely
caramel color for the many brain damaged, routine tard, inbred
mongoloids who frequent the welfare dependant squalor of Alambama
north known as Cape Breton. I loved the city, Sydney, the A.T. capital
of Canada. Home of the worse toxic waste dump in North America.

Ace Lightning

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 5:19:15 PM7/5/01
to
Strayhorn wrote:
>>>You need some music to do this by. I recommend David Allen
>>>Coe's "Cum Stains On The Pillow", available as close as
>>>your nearest Aimster client.
>><nitpick>
>>it's Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, not
>>David Allan Coe.
>></nitpick>
>Nope. Chinga Chavin wrote it and it's on his famous
>"Country Porn" album (trivia: Fruit of the Tune
>catalogue number 666).
>Chavin also wrote "Asshole from El Paso", contrary
>to popular belief.
>(www.kinkyfriedman.com/kfindex.htm)
>If you want a free copy, try searching Aimster
>for DAC's copy. No hits for Chavin or Kinky.

well, when i was a C&W deejay, the first version of "Cum
Stains On The Pillow (Where Your Sweet Head Used To Lay)"
i ever ran across was Kinky's. i'm not surprised that other
performers covered it - i'm not even surprised that Kinky
didn't write it.

ObTossup: who's more tasteless, Kinky Friedman or David
Allan Coe?

E Varden

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 5:29:43 PM7/5/01
to
"JustmeŽ" wrote:
.
.

.
>
> First topic to work on--what is worse for you, 100 proof alchohol or stale
> urine?

Hey, 100-proof is 50% alcohol. He could do better than that!

ObExplorerTasteless: There we were in the lower Arctic with
freeze-up fast approaching and no sign of the float plane which
was to have taken us back to Yellowknife a week ago. (This was
long before GPS/satellite-cellphone conexions. We were
communications marooned.)

Colder than a witches tit at night, and we ran out of naptha for
the Coleman stove. Cans of frosty beans we still had, and a slab
of raw bacon. And no stove.

Cold and very very hungry we agreed that the "medical emergency"
bottle of 151-proof Hudson's Bay Dark Rum need be applied to the
Coleman.

Poured it in, pump pumppumppump, snick'd a match and viola! a
ring of blue hot flame!

The bacon took precedence: cut into thick strips we were able to
cook up nearly three pounds of the stuff, and warmed some cans of
beans before the
Coleman Flambeau sputtered out.

Two days later the bush plane found us and dropped in. We all
shared the last few oz of the rum, and flew back in a
snow-squall, clipping the tops of trees as the pilot tried to
recognize some landmark formations. (Compass doesn't function in
Great Bear Lake region.) Xrist, bush-pilots are magicians of the
fixed-wing world (if they weren't, they'd be dead).

ObRealTasteless but Not, it Seemed: The two of us eventually
showing up at the ritzyist hotel in the burg, strolling across
the lobby to the check-in desk lugging 70-lb backpacks and
geophysical equipment and trailing the reek of a month unwashed
and of bog-lichen we had set fire to and stood in the smoulder to
escape the fucking mosquitos while we tried to pot a duck in a
fen, with a 30-30 and an ancient Enfield with full copper
jacketed ammo.

Got the bird, and had to wait another 20 minutes in the smoke for
it to drift to the marge. We gutted it and rolled the otherwise
intact fowl in mud and baked it overnight on the coals of the
last dry firewood we would ever see. Cracking it open in the
morning, we were pleased to see the feathers come away, stuck to
the mud.

No it did not taste good but the fat and protein were welcomed.
It would be 2 more days before my partner returned from a 5 mile
hike back to the original base-camp, and retrieve the
bacon-and-beens from a steel footlocker from the bear-ravaged
tent. (All other supplies were throughly trashed; the bear(s)
just chomped down on cans of evaporated milk and cans of
vegetables as easily as you or I would cut through the skin of a
spanish peanut....

ANYWAY, we got to the counter, looking like the Wrath of God, and
were politely assigned to a suite (it's still a frontier town,
after all) and with an entourage of three bellhops we crashed on
the Sealys in opulent surroundings.

After a nap we ordered (not duck) steak-and-potatoes from
room-service,
AND a fifth of Hudson's Bay dark overproof.

Don't remember anything else of that evening


Pe ("By the marge of Lake Lebarge...")

s...@kills.spammers.for.jesus.com

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 5:47:30 PM7/5/01
to
Dinsdale wrote:

>
> On 4 Jul 2001 21:27:21 -0700, Justme® <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote:
> >s...@ihatespam.gov like, said in article <3B43AE75...@nls.net>, and like, I
> >thought that, you know, I had to say something back:
> >>
> >
> >I'm all your grabbing whatever bottles of urine you still have floating around,
> >opening them and drinking up, get back to the alchoholism and for the love of
> >CHRIST get back to posting.
> >
> >First topic to work on--what is worse for you, 100 proof alchohol or stale
> >urine?
> You could distill the urine and maybe reclaim alcohol. Seems the ticket to
> me anyway.

I've never tasted stale urine, and don't plan on trying. Maybe on a
bet. I don't think an appreciable amount of alcohol is passed on in the
urine, and urine doesn't ferment... the salt content, and lack of sugar,
is more antiseptic then anything.
100 proof alcohol... is about as easy for me to drink as fresh urine,
maybe a little more difficult, but totally opposite reasons. I'd LOVE to
settle back with a few shots of Jack Daniels, but my stomach is not fond
of it. Fresh urine doesn't taste much worse then a glass of warm water
with baking soda, but my brain sees no good reason to indulge in that
brand of aqua vitae.

If I had the equipment to distill, my problems would be over. A few
pounds of sugar and a packet of brewer's yeast = homemade popskull.
Distilling requires a bit of room though to store the kettle, and an
evening spent over a fire, stirring the mash and playing with
thermometers.
When I have my own place, I'll probably buy a steel hood and copper
coil and make my own popskull on the stove. I suppose that would make a
nice addition to a TSS package... it wouldn't be poisonous (I'm not
stupid enough to use metal with lead soldering), and by adding a few
drops of cinnamon or cloves I could make something really notorious.

ObhURL: This has been a long time coming:
http://www.janetrenoishot.com/
It's 100% sincere.

sqzme

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 5:54:18 PM7/5/01
to
Justme? <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org>


> Of course, if it really IS full of yuppies I can only
> wonder if that guy that hit salad bars with fecal matter
> visited that place, too, out of spite. Nothin' like a
> little extra sauce on yer greens!
>

sheeeit bitch, fecal man was no honkey, i bet that muthafucka
was a brotha. a shitskin spreading shit is quite ironinica
you know. now git your hairy white ass down ta this
brazilian joint but make sure your company picks the
check - put it down as a working dinner or whateva, else
sure as ya momma have a smelly behind, your honkey ass
be paying 3 figas yoursef. damn straight, bitch. now shut
ya mouth, put yo finga up my ass and suck my dick.

--sqzme

Dan Drake

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 6:28:13 PM7/5/01
to
On Thu, 05 Jul 2001 17:29:43 -0400, E Varden <jp...@interlog.com>
wrote:

>ObExplorerTasteless: There we were in the lower Arctic with
>freeze-up fast approaching and no sign of the float plane which
>was to have taken us back to Yellowknife a week ago. (This was
>long before GPS/satellite-cellphone conexions. We were
>communications marooned.)
>
>Colder than a witches tit at night, and we ran out of naptha for
>the Coleman stove. Cans of frosty beans we still had, and a slab
>of raw bacon. And no stove.

<snip rest of passably entertaining tale, written is a reasonably
coherent style>

Pe! You're starting to come through! I knew all along that you had
it in you, somewhere. Whatever balance of meds you took today, make a
note of it. You've found the balance.

Well done, lad! Keep it up!
--
Dan Drake

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 6:08:28 PM7/5/01
to
In article <3b44d301...@news1.pei.sympatico.ca>, tiger...@hotmail.com
says...

>And if you really give a shit please go meet a lady from what we call
>"The Butterscotch Palace" in Sydney N.S... Nanook knows what I'm
>referring to...... An intensive care faciility painted in a lovely
>caramel color for the many brain damaged, routine tard, inbred
>mongoloids who frequent the welfare dependant squalor of Alambama
>north known as Cape Breton. I loved the city, Sydney, the A.T. capital
>of Canada. Home of the worse toxic waste dump in North America.

Yes, I know what you're talking about. My dad's from Sydney, my uncle still
lives there, I've got shitloads of ancestors buried there, and my granddad was
even mayor there for a while in the 1930's, between starting a drugstore chain
and going off to war for a second time.

Tar ponds (the local name for the toxic sludge from the steel mill) aside, I'd
be awfully tempted to retire thereabouts. Property's awful cheap.

ObT: Stories of government money wasted there, such as the one my uncle (who
worked at the steel mill for nigh on 40 years) told about something like $20M
spent on a system to pump out the tar ponds and process or otherwise get rid of
the shit, until they realised that this sludge is so viscous you can walk on it;
no fuckin' way it was gonna let itself be pumped through any pipes or whatever.
There's also keeping the coal mines limping for 25 more years than they were
viable, or the heavy water plant built out at Glace Bay for all those nuclear
plants we were going to build in the 70's, or, well, you name it.

ObNotT: At least with the steel mill shut down, the air doesn't stink there any
more. I remember as a vacationing kid asking my dad how he could grow up with
such a stench, and he basically said that when you grew up there, you got used
to it. Didn't stop him from pissing off to university as soon as he could,
mind.

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

I went into a guitar shop...and some guy said 'What kind of bass strings
do you use, Paul?' I said, 'Long shiny ones.' - Paul McCartney

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 6:28:06 PM7/5/01
to
In article <3B44DC47...@interlog.com>, E says...

>ObExplorerTasteless: There we were in the lower Arctic with
>freeze-up fast approaching and no sign of the float plane which
>was to have taken us back to Yellowknife a week ago. (This was
>long before GPS/satellite-cellphone conexions. We were
>communications marooned.)

Yeah. There's newbies here who hear all the bush-plane stories and wonder
"What's all the fuss about, between GPS and satellite phones?" Dumbshits.

>Cold and very very hungry we agreed that the "medical emergency"
>bottle of 151-proof Hudson's Bay Dark Rum need be applied to the
>Coleman.

Lamb's is the brand I'm best acquainted with, but I suspect it's equally
effective as a firestarter...


>
>Poured it in, pump pumppumppump, snick'd a match and viola! a
>ring of blue hot flame!

...whether in a Coleman stove or down your esophagus.

>Two days later the bush plane found us and dropped in. We all
>shared the last few oz of the rum, and flew back in a
>snow-squall, clipping the tops of trees as the pilot tried to
>recognize some landmark formations. (Compass doesn't function in
>Great Bear Lake region.) Xrist, bush-pilots are magicians of the
>fixed-wing world (if they weren't, they'd be dead).

Well, it's not that the compass doesn't function, it's just that you're so close
to the North Magnetic Pole that the declination between compass north and true
north changes by about a degree every mile you travel. You'd be better off
navigating by the stars. And yes, bush pilots are magicians. I've heard
stories that'd make yer pubes straighten, and I've even been in on a few (e.g.
the high school band trip I was on where we wrecked not one, but two, count 'em,
two DC-3 Dakotas).


>
>ObRealTasteless but Not, it Seemed: The two of us eventually
>showing up at the ritzyist hotel in the burg, strolling across
>the lobby to the check-in desk lugging 70-lb backpacks and
>geophysical equipment and trailing the reek of a month unwashed
>and of bog-lichen we had set fire to and stood in the smoulder to
>escape the fucking mosquitos while we tried to pot a duck in a
>fen, with a 30-30 and an ancient Enfield with full copper
>jacketed ammo.

That'd be the YK Inn then, right? Or was the Exploiter built by then? Either
way, it still blows people away how much these places charge for a night of
at-best moderately-reasonable accomodations.

>No it did not taste good but the fat and protein were welcomed.
>It would be 2 more days before my partner returned from a 5 mile
>hike back to the original base-camp, and retrieve the
>bacon-and-beens from a steel footlocker from the bear-ravaged
>tent. (All other supplies were throughly trashed; the bear(s)
>just chomped down on cans of evaporated milk and cans of
>vegetables as easily as you or I would cut through the skin of a
>spanish peanut....

Yup. Cans are nothing to a bear. A Thermos-brand juice jug, OTOH, survived an
encounter with a black in Jasper with no more than a couple of tooth holes to
show for it. There's probably a lesson in there.

>ANYWAY, we got to the counter, looking like the Wrath of God, and
>were politely assigned to a suite (it's still a frontier town,
>after all) and with an entourage of three bellhops we crashed on
>the Sealys in opulent surroundings.
>
>After a nap we ordered (not duck) steak-and-potatoes from
>room-service,
>AND a fifth of Hudson's Bay dark overproof.
>
>Don't remember anything else of that evening

Sounds like SOP for anyone coming back to the Knife from a long stretch in the
bush. Mind you, things aren't as bad anymore in the bush; there are tons more
helicopters around.

A lot of the diamond staking that went on here a decade ago, for example, wasn't
done in what you'd call the 'traditional' way. A typical way to do it would be
just to fly along the lines of the tract you were staking in the helicopter, and
then every 100 yards or whatever it is, hover, lean out the side, throw a stake
into the packed snow like a javelin, move on another 100 yards, lather, rinse,
repeat. And the choppers can land and resupply a fuck of a lot quicker (and in
weirder places) than fixed-wing craft.

Just for fun, e-mail some names of people you know; I bet we have a few
acquaintances in common. (For example, does the name Walt Humphries ring a
bell?)

ObT: Realising how much I've got the 'fuck it' attitude towards my current job,
now that I have officially received my new job offer today. The fact that the
salary's $8k higher than originally advertised doesn't hurt, either.

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

I wanted to have another look at the Book of Revelation. Which is a
serious piece of work, a thunderhead mix of Bolero, Sam Coleridge and
the ravings of Cato the Elder. I was awed, once again, by the fearful
intensity of the language...and also by the idea that this, the genuinely
hideous Revelation of "St. John the Divine," is generally assumed...to
be the long-range personal blueprint [for] Ronald Reagan....
- Hunter S. Thompson, Generation of Swine

Matt Olson

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 7:32:40 PM7/5/01
to
<BLINK> Quoth s...@kills.spammers.for.jesus.com
(s...@kills.spammers.for.jesus.com):

> ObhURL: This has been a long time coming:
> http://www.janetrenoishot.com/
> It's 100% sincere.

Man, am I disappointed. I originally parsed that as "Janet Reno, I shot",
and wondered why it didn't make CNN this morning.

ObT: Scratched my foot a bit too much in the shower last night, and woke
up with a big, shallow weeping sore on it. Naturally, I forgot about it,
and over the course of the day it soaked most of my sock. Pretty ripe
smell, too, but it seems to be on the mend.

No scabs, dammit.

Cheers,
Matt

tiger...@hotmail.com

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 7:46:54 PM7/5/01
to
On 5 Jul 2001 15:08:28 -0700, Nanook of the North
<robn...@my-deja.com> wrote:
Oh fuck,,home town stories......

>Yes, I know what you're talking about. My dad's from Sydney, my uncle still
>lives there, I've got shitloads of ancestors buried there, and my granddad was
>even mayor there for a while in the 1930's, between starting a drugstore chain
>and going off to war for a second time.
>
>Tar ponds (the local name for the toxic sludge from the steel mill) aside, I'd
>be awfully tempted to retire thereabouts. Property's awful cheap.
>
>ObT: Stories of government money wasted there, such as the one my uncle (who
>worked at the steel mill for nigh on 40 years) told about something like $20M
>spent on a system to pump out the tar ponds and process or otherwise get rid of
>the shit, until they realised that this sludge is so viscous you can walk on it;
>no fuckin' way it was gonna let itself be pumped through any pipes or whatever.
>There's also keeping the coal mines limping for 25 more years than they were
>viable, or the heavy water plant built out at Glace Bay for all those nuclear
>plants we were going to build in the 70's, or, well, you name it.
>
>ObNotT: At least with the steel mill shut down, the air doesn't stink there any
>more. I remember as a vacationing kid asking my dad how he could grow up with
>such a stench, and he basically said that when you grew up there, you got used
>to it. Didn't stop him from pissing off to university as soon as he could,
>mind.
>
>Robert
>--
> From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)
>I went into a guitar shop...and some guy said 'What kind of bass strings
>do you use, Paul?' I said, 'Long shiny ones.' - Paul McCartney
>

Jesus H Glub. Ever been to Sydney Mines Nova Scotia? Its the hard
point on the pimple on the rim of the star fish of a diseased coal
miner with black lung..... Regardless, hope your dad didn't piss off
to the University College Of Cape Breton. Degree there is worth dick..
unless you get a government job...Been there done that....

Calico Cat

That Funky Chick

unread,
Jul 5, 2001, 9:21:29 PM7/5/01
to
On Thu, 05 Jul 2001 18:40:09 -0400, Jessica Lavarnway
<j...@lavarnway.mv.com> muttered something like:

>I weigh around 155 right now. The doc told me it's common for some
>breastfeeding women to throw on more and more weight because of the
>extra caloric demand. I'm always hungry, I'm always exhausted, and my
>husband, to top it all off, lost about 30 pounds in the last six
>months, and by *accident*.

Don't you hate that? "Gosh, these pants are too loose for me now."

I was up to about 160 at my heaviest, maybe even a few pounds more. I
guess there's a silver lining for any cloud; when the irritable bowel
syndrome first started up I lost nearly ten pounds before I got diagnosed
and a treatment that would help. I didn't dare eat if I had to leave the
house, and since I was working that was pretty much any time...

I don't recommend it as a dietary regimen. But as long as I had the
momentum going I started watching what I ate and exercising to keep it
going. It's coming off slowly, but it IS coming off. So there's hope for
ya.

-Bertha
--
Don't question authority. It doesn't know either.

Phil Arnold

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 12:00:13 AM7/6/01
to
Matt Olson wrote in alt.tasteless:

>I recently got a scrip for Tee Threes after getting my left
>fibula plated. Disappointing little fuckers, IMHO.

T3 only gives me a headache. Now, mind you, the Norco I got for my nasty L4
problem is rather nice, tho mild.

>The guy next to me in emergency was getting oral morphine for
>some sort of chronic condition. Of course, being an ungrate-
>ful Canuckian bastard, he wouldn't share.

Of course not. Likely your bunkmate had kidney stones, which are the gift
that truly keeps giving. They show up at the most inopportune times, like
while you're trying to sleep at 2am on a Sunday morning. But the nice
urologist gives me oral dilaudid (hydromorphone HCL for those so inclined.)

Banging the SR hard and fast has helped knock the more stubborn fuckers
loose. However, one learns that doing so if the little stone has migrated
south to your urethra is a BAD thing. While the trickle, trickle of urine
doesn't do much to make it go bye-bye, the rather forceful movement of spoo
will dislodge it. And it rips your piss-slit to shreds in the process.

ObMildlyT: Never did recover one of the fuckers. Wonder what the SR thought
if it tinkled out of the cooze while she was expelling my recent donation?
Or if it's still embedded inside covered in scar tissue?

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 12:45:47 AM7/6/01
to
On or about Thu, 05 Jul 2001 23:46:54 GMT,
tiger...@hotmail.com banged head against the keyboard
thusly:

>On 5 Jul 2001 15:08:28 -0700, Nanook of the North
><robn...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>Oh fuck,,home town stories......
>

> Jesus H Glub. Ever been to Sydney Mines Nova Scotia? Its the hard
>point on the pimple on the rim of the star fish of a diseased coal
>miner with black lung..... Regardless, hope your dad didn't piss off
>to the University College Of Cape Breton. Degree there is worth dick..
>unless you get a government job...Been there done that....

My granduncle lived in Sydney Mines. His daughter still
lives in the old house, apparently with 80-odd cats. Can't
phone her ever since one of the moggies pissed on the phone
jack and shorted it out. When I was there a coupla years
ago -- for the first time in more than two decades -- my
uncle (her cousin) said "Hey, Rob's coming out east, shall I
bring him by to say hi?" and her response was something to
the effect of "Don't bother."

As for uni, when Dad fucked off it was before UCCB was
anything more than a pasture. He went to Dalhousie for BA,
BComm, and LLB. Good law school there. That was in the
1950's.

My uncle, OTOH, ended up with a BA History from UCCB after
he retired from the steel mill, just for fun, around age 60.
Go figure.

ObT: My new job being at a university, means the calendars
(starting next year) are going to list my degrees in
excruciating detail. Ooh ahh. Not that I give much of a
fuck, mind.

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

Fuck. I love the net. It proves the human race is, beyond any doubt, a
pack of liars, thieves, back-stabbers and cowards. - Herry

Buckley

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 9:13:35 AM7/6/01
to

Dale R Worley wrote:

> Clearly, we need to record a "screamer" as she orgasms, then MIDI
> sample it, then play, say, Beethoven's Ninth on the new instrument.

Ummm, I've already done that, but with the opening of Ludwig's 5th
instead. Then there's the Peanut's theme done to farts and sex grunts.
I've been thinking about a holiday album-- to hell with the "Jingle
Cats" crap. (You can do a lot of damage when you live in a studio and
you only sleep 3 hours a night ...)

Maybe I should do an A.T. album ...

E Varden

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 1:31:54 PM7/6/01
to
My bad. I omitted a sentence which finally located us in
Edmonton, in a suite at the Macdonald Hostelry. Very POSH. That
walk across the Aubusson carpet, still trailing bush-fumes is
indelibly etched in my mind. We were treated as if we were
normal. (To be cynical, the front-desk jockey no doubt knew that
anyone (obviously) fresh from the tree-line would be freighting
some significant coin (hey, NObody spends six weeks in that
bug-infested hellhole of a frigid desert unless being paid.
Lots.), and treated us therefore, appropriately.)

Sidebar: Looking later at some photos I had shot, I noted there
was a lot of white-and-grey specks marring my pic of a wonderful
array of lichens on granite.

Then it dawned on me: these were blackflies, who had swarmed
about my head (and camera).

The little fuckers not only made any warm-blood's life miserable,
they also managed to insinuate themselves into my art-shots!


We got out of Yellowknife as fast as we could. Yellowknife was
installing their first traffic-light as we scrambled for a plane
outta the dump. (There's a bar there that has a pickled thumb of
some famous miner/explorer/miscreant that is sort of famous:
greenhorns are challenged to chug a glass of whiskey with the
thumb as olive.

There's an apocryphal story where a doofus swallowed the thumb,
and a "new" one had to be procured to keep up the tradition.

(It seems to me that if the digit was properly
formaldehyded/pickled, it should have been passed the next
morning. Wussy barkeep no doubt qualied at the thought of
attaching *that* piece of history to the rediscovered thumb...)

>
> A lot of the diamond staking that went on here a decade ago, for example, wasn't
> done in what you'd call the 'traditional' way. A typical way to do it would be
> just to fly along the lines of the tract you were staking in the helicopter, and
> then every 100 yards or whatever it is, hover, lean out the side, throw a stake
> into the packed snow like a javelin, move on another 100 yards, lather, rinse,
> repeat.


Shit LaRue mon hami. Hits come to dis? TABERNAC!


When we arrived on the site, we were dropped off at a camp that
was pre-established (the bear-tent mentioned above).

The "lines" -- a grid staked at 100' intervals for us to take our
geophysical readings (we were hired by a mining exploration
company) was invariable. Relentless. The "line" went through
dense scrub, swamp, craggy rises (several times we had to detour
around a steep face and then back-track up the further sloping
access, just to get some readings
at a spot whicj l;ooked so innocent, even on a topo-map.

All this line-cutting was done by Indians, who I gathered during
an evening drunk-up upon our arrival (the pilot pulled his Cessna
float ass-backwards up onto the spit which was our base-camp and
also regaled us with stories into the night) found our presence
there just hilarious. None had any front teeth, living as they
did on orange soda and sugar white-bread sandwiches fried in
fish-drippings or wolverine-fat or the occasional monsterTub of
hideous trans-fatty acid laden margerine which they tump-lined
into the designated area for doing the grid.


Pe

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 5:38:37 PM7/6/01
to
Dan Sutton <d...@opwernby.com> like, said in article
<Wp017.698$OW3.2...@monger.newsread.com> , and like, I
thought that, you know, I had to say something back:
>
> "JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message
> news:9htsq...@drn.newsguy.com...
>
> > You're not from the area, are ya--Union City is trading *down* from
> Hackensack.
> > Hell, why not just move to Paterson, Newark or Irvington, and get it over
> with?
>
> It's not trading down from Hackensack when you consider how much easier it
> is to get into Manhattan.

*gasp*

...you work in Manhattan too, huh?

> minutes. It's cheap, too. Most of the residents are Cubans, who basically
> don't give a shit about anything - not like Jersey City, Paterson, Newark or
> Irvington, where they're Puerto Ricans and blacks, and would kill you for a
> cigarette.

Maybe so, but the Puerto Ricans are good in the sack--
(well, at least the one I married). That's why we have
so many kids...


> I can go out and eat dinner for $3 (assuming I like Cuban food).


Cuban andwiches are good, and worht getting fat over:
pork, cheese, thin sliced pickles, ham; stuffed into a
roll and pressed flat and heated through.

>
> ...but apart from that, it's a shit hole. I agree. So's my apartment. It
> must be all those years spent in Chicago. Now that was a real toilet...
>
>

That's why I spend money that I barely have to live in
suburbia. The kids get a good edjumakashun, there's
trees and ticks enough for everyone, and the worst thing
I have to worry about is whether or not I'm going to hit
a rabbit when I pull into my driveway.

Not that I would mind hitting a rabbit mind you, but I
would have to listen to the 10 year old whine about it as
I scrape it off of my tires.

--
--Ginny

"I like madness. I've discovered a secret. You don't
have to be online everyday. Its true. There _are_
other things to do. Like making salamis out of this
worlds oppressed."

--Herry, Message-ID: <3B1E3BB4...@ftc.gov>

JustmeŽ

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 8:21:35 PM7/6/01
to
sqzme <sqz...@yahoo.com> like, said in article
<107af225.01070...@posting.google.com> , and
like, I thought that, you know, I had to say something
back:
> Justme? <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org>
>
> > Of course, if it really IS full of yuppies I can only
> > wonder if that guy that hit salad bars with fecal matter
> > visited that place, too, out of spite. Nothin' like a
> > little extra sauce on yer greens!
> >
>
> sheeeit bitch, fecal man was no honkey, i bet that muthafucka
> was a brotha.

*duh*--what other reason IS there for spraying fecal
matter in the White Man's lettuce, son?

> be paying 3 figas yoursef. damn straight, bitch. now shut
> ya mouth, put yo finga up my ass and suck my dick.
>

For that, YOU need to buy dinner.

Geoff Miller

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 10:16:35 PM7/6/01
to

E Varden <jp...@interlog.com> writes:

> The most famous picture of a napalmed (and running) human is
> the pic of 9-year-old Phan Thi Kim Phuc who had the wit to
> tear off her burning clothes and race toward the photographer.

ObT: She had the beginnings of a pretty impressive beaver for
a nine-year-old Third World chick, as I recall from that famous
picture. I heard her interviewed on National Pinko Radio a few
years ago, but sadly, the interviewer didn't ask her about her
gash rug.


Geoff

--
"We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, and screaming
in terror--and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live
right." --Dana Gould

Nanook of the North

unread,
Jul 6, 2001, 11:59:53 PM7/6/01
to
On or about 6 Jul 2001 19:16:35 -0700, geo...@u1.netgate.net
(Geoff Miller) banged head against the keyboard thusly:

>E Varden <jp...@interlog.com> writes:
>
>> The most famous picture of a napalmed (and running) human is
>> the pic of 9-year-old Phan Thi Kim Phuc who had the wit to
>> tear off her burning clothes and race toward the photographer.
>
>ObT: She had the beginnings of a pretty impressive beaver for
>a nine-year-old Third World chick, as I recall from that famous
>picture. I heard her interviewed on National Pinko Radio a few
>years ago, but sadly, the interviewer didn't ask her about her
>gash rug.
>
She now lives in Toronto and is married to a Cuban. She was
a poster child in Nam, got all sorts of nice education and
jobs and shit. She was sent to Moscow to a fancy Commie
university, where she met this Cuban dude who was also
there.

They eventually got fed up with things, took a plane to Cuba
(ostensibly to visit the Mr.'s family), and didn't get back
on during the refueling stop in Gander NF.

Every now and then CBC runs one or more doccos on her.
Again, however, nothing re: her now-40-ish gash.

ObT: If it's all burn-scarred. Texture would be
interesting, n'est-ce pas?

Robert
--
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62°27'N 114°22'W (give or take)

That's the one, single redeeming quality of this newsgroup.
It prepares you for your daughter's boyfriends.
- Jonathan Blaque, regarding alt.tasteless

l wild

unread,
Jul 7, 2001, 1:07:52 AM7/7/01
to
They usually let fireworks off on May 24 (Queen Victoria's birthday)
or Dominion Day which is 1 July. This commemorates the day that
Britain gave us self government (and we didn't even have to fight
for it )
"Steve Coltrin" <spco...@omcl.org> wrote in message
news:8766d7i...@hrothgar.omcl.org...

> wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:
>
> > BTW, USAnians shoot fireworks on Independence Day, Brits do it
on Guy
> > Fawkes Day, but when to Canucks blow things up?
>
> I recommend December 6:
http://www.region.halifax.ns.ca/community/explode.html
>
> ObT: the ammonia-laden silica gel slurry that accumulates at the
bottom of
> my cats' litter box. The stuff worked better in a dry climate.
>
> --
> Steve Coltrin spco...@omcl.org
http://www.omcl.org/~spcoltri/
> The smell of lost innocence, particularly the painted-on,
nausea-inducing,
> intestine-pinkish innocence, has such a sweet aroma, sweeter
still than
> even the luscious scent of charred infant flesh. -
"Übermensch", a.t


Steve Coltrin

unread,
Jul 7, 2001, 1:31:25 AM7/7/01
to
"l wild" <lwi...@home.com> writes:

> They usually let fireworks off on May 24...

Tell me, l (may I call you l?), what day do they draw and quarter moronic
fucks who top-post above a completely unedited (except for having the format
fucked by Microshit Outhouse) previous article and don't even have the common
fucking courtesy to supply an ObT, like you?

ObT: a few months ago at work, sliced a wedge of skin off my right little
finger - and a few minutes later someone introduces herself to me and extends
her hand for a shake.

Flatus M

unread,
Jul 7, 2001, 5:54:27 AM7/7/01
to
Nanook of the North slavered:

>
> On or about 6 Jul 2001 19:16:35 -0700, geo...@u1.netgate.net
> (Geoff Miller) banged head against the keyboard thusly:
> >E Varden <jp...@interlog.com> writes:
> >
> >> The most famous picture of a napalmed (and running) human is
> >> the pic of 9-year-old Phan Thi Kim Phuc who had the wit to
> >
> >ObT: She had the beginnings of a pretty impressive beaver for
> >a nine-year-old Third World chick
> >
> She now lives in Toronto and is married to a Cuban. She was
> a poster child in Nam,

An Army recruiting poster in Appalachia...?

> ObT: If it's all burn-scarred. Texture would be
> interesting, n'est-ce pas?
>

Hey, show some respect. That was my FAVORITE page in the
high school social studies book. Makes you wonder, with the
success of that photo, how come news media don't shoot more
good kiddie poon. You know, starving kids in Africa, eastern
european racial cleansing gang rape chicks, Cambodian
pre-teen whores, maybe a nice muslim smoothy gettin' her
clitty trimmed with a sharp rock? There are plenty of
'excusable' child-porn opportunities out there. Don't they
realize what SELLS?

Maybe Rev. Syd can provide some fappy hURLs along these
lines...

s...@kills.spammers.for.jesus.com

unread,
Jul 7, 2001, 7:48:44 AM7/7/01
to
Flatus M wrote:
>
> Hey, show some respect. That was my FAVORITE page in the
> high school social studies book. Makes you wonder, with the
> success of that photo, how come news media don't shoot more
> good kiddie poon. You know, starving kids in Africa, eastern
> european racial cleansing gang rape chicks, Cambodian
> pre-teen whores, maybe a nice muslim smoothy gettin' her
> clitty trimmed with a sharp rock? There are plenty of
> 'excusable' child-porn opportunities out there. Don't they
> realize what SELLS?
>
> Maybe Rev. Syd can provide some fappy hURLs along these
> lines...

Whadda ya want, pictures of naked youngsters? Uh, sure, here ya go...

http://www.cubcentral.org/

I don't think that's technically illegal... not sure because the site
doesn't work with Opera. (Yeah, I switched to Opera, but still use
Netscape for mail and news.)

Oh, wait, you want sexually mutilated children? In that case:

http://www.sexuallymutilatedchild.org/

Which isn't technically illegal either, although they must have
violated some kinda law to get the "eleven year old" to draw that
picture. This is a serious subject, but I still wanted to slap them
upside the head and tell them to get over it... jesus. At least they
have one of the greatest domain names ever.

ObUnrelated: Here's a real knee-slapper, courtesy of The Misanthropic
Bitch

http://www.geocities.com/ahopefulwife/welcome.html

Clue: Anyone who uses the phrase "struggling with homosexuality" is a
dumbass.

Oh, okay, here's one more. This one seriously fucked me up. I simply
cannot get an angle on it, but I hope it's genuine. And it's a pretty
damn good domain name as well:

http://www.sergeantsmellfoot.com/

Humor? Fetish? Spoof? I want the action figure.

--
Rev. Syd Midnight - Remove TREET from tree...@treet.nls.net

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-- Warning label on a Superman costume

John Gilmer

unread,
Jul 7, 2001, 8:00:22 AM7/7/01
to

"l wild" <lwi...@home.com> wrote in message
news:IOw17.10962$mY2.8...@news1.busy1.on.home.com...

> They usually let fireworks off on May 24 (Queen Victoria's birthday)
> or Dominion Day which is 1 July. This commemorates the day that
> Britain gave us self government (and we didn't even have to fight
> for it )

Well, I guess you get what you pay for!

.

unread,
Jul 8, 2001, 6:21:43 PM7/8/01
to
Jonathan Nature Boy Blaque <bla...@creepshow.com> wrote:
> sjohnson wrote:

> (re my inquiry about over-the-counter meds in
> Canada)

>> Why leave the comfort of your home?
>>
>> http://www.drugspharma.com/
>> http://www.pillen2000.com/
>> http://www.1drugstore-online.com/default.htm
>> http://www.access-meds.com/

> Yeah, I went and hunted down a few of these my-
> self after reading Justin's suggestion. They want
> anywhere from $15 to $35 just to supply you with
> a *list* of Mexican and Filipino online pharma-
> cies -- and then can't even guarantee that the
> meds'll get past U.S. Customs.

> Alas, the hunt for an honest, lawful way to obtain
> illegal and dangerous drugs continues.

> Cheers!
> Nature Boy (II)
> Veni Vidi Vicodin

Vicodin?

You pussy. Real men eat darvocet and oxycodone.


-----.


--
Theres a hole in the world like a great black pit and
its filled with people who are filled with shit and it
goes by the name of London

Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 8:34:12 AM7/9/01
to

"JustmeŽ" <gi...@takethisout.insurgent.org> wrote in message

> *gasp*


>
> ...you work in Manhattan too, huh?

I guess it could be called working... I certainly seem to get paid for
attending, though. Every now and then I crank out another work of
programmatic brilliance and the rest of them grovel at my feet, slack-jawed
and drooling, eyes heavencast, praying for crumbs of wisdom to drop from my
godlike lips... imagine that!

> > minutes. It's cheap, too. Most of the residents are Cubans, who
basically
> > don't give a shit about anything - not like Jersey City, Paterson,
Newark or
> > Irvington, where they're Puerto Ricans and blacks, and would kill you
for a
> > cigarette.
>
> Maybe so, but the Puerto Ricans are good in the sack--
> (well, at least the one I married). That's why we have
> so many kids...

Uh huh... I was thinking that your daughter certainly contains some genes
you don't... She could potentially contain more, if she played her cards
right.

> Cuban andwiches are good, and worht getting fat over:
> pork, cheese, thin sliced pickles, ham; stuffed into a
> roll and pressed flat and heated through.

Yeah, but they play havoc with my overly-sensitive-to-grease stomach. Better
to stick to other incredibly cheap Cuban shit like rice and beans, etc.
Boring, though. Mind you, down the end of my street is this Korean bar which
overlooks Manhattan directly (from the cliff) and has the best sushi... and
loads of booze. It's set up like a shithole bar, too, as opposed to a
restaurant, and is frequented by all the local villains, so it can be quite
amusing.

> That's why I spend money that I barely have to live in
> suburbia. The kids get a good edjumakashun, there's
> trees and ticks enough for everyone, and the worst thing
> I have to worry about is whether or not I'm going to hit
> a rabbit when I pull into my driveway.
>
> Not that I would mind hitting a rabbit mind you, but I
> would have to listen to the 10 year old whine about it as
> I scrape it off of my tires.

Yeah - I tried living in Hackensack for a while, but what I had to worry
about hitting was my room mate, not that I would have minded doing that
either, but unlike a rabbit, he had 10 years' training in martial arts, and
was rarely drunk enough not to be able to respond to violence with lightning
speed... a slight drawback. So I moved instead.

D


Dan Sutton

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 8:35:29 AM7/9/01
to

"l wild" <lwi...@home.com> wrote in message
news:IOw17.10962$mY2.8...@news1.busy1.on.home.com...

> They usually let fireworks off on May 24 (Queen Victoria's birthday)


> or Dominion Day which is 1 July.

I didn't know that Canada had discovered a wormhole to the Gamma quadrant.
Does this explain Newfoundland?

D

ObT: Newfoundland.

Dale R Worley

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 10:07:23 AM7/9/01
to
In article <9i2og...@drn.newsguy.com> Nanook of the North <robn...@my-deja.com> writes:
Property's awful cheap.

Nanook, when you live in Frozen-Ass-Pimple, NWT, and see a place where
"property's awful cheap", figure that God is telegraphing you a
message.

ObT: The concept of "Alabama North". Even better, where's
"Mississippi North"? Mississippi is like Alabama, without the
progress and refinements.

Dale

Dale R Worley

unread,
Jul 9, 2001, 10:17:34 AM7/9/01
to
In article <3B45F60A...@interlog.com> E Varden <jp...@interlog.com> writes:
(To be cynical, the front-desk jockey no doubt knew that
anyone (obviously) fresh from the tree-line would be freighting
some significant coin (hey, NObody spends six weeks in that
bug-infested hellhole of a frigid desert unless being paid.
Lots.), and treated us therefore, appropriately.)

Also knowing that you've been dealing with bears and other shit, and
thus making a huge stinky scene in the lobby would be your first,
rather than last, strategem in the event of a dispute with the desk
weenie.

Dale

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