airforce bootcamp tastelessness
Jack Epstein
hey there...i've heard about nevy bootcamp but how tasteless is airforce
bootcamp?...some1 describe it...i was thinking of joining and wanted to
know how it is...thankx
Wes Payne
ta...@enterprise.america.com (Jack Epstein) writes:
Are you kidding? Compared to the other services, the AF is Pretty Darn Soft.
For a little info, here is how different branches view military exercises:
Army Infantry: Slogging about in a marsh, surrounded by weeds, muttering
"God, this SUCKS!"
Rangers: Slogging about in a marsh, surrounded by weeds, muttering "God,
I LOVE how this SUCKS!"
Special Forces: Slogging about in a marsh, surrounded by weeds, muttering
"God, I LOVE how this SUCKS! In fact, I wish that it'd suck some more!"
Army Aviation: Flying above the marsh, looking about, muttering "God, it
must SUCK down there!"
Air Force: Back at garrison, sitting in the dayroom, crying out "What?
No cable TV?!? God, this SUCKS!"
ObT: I think that I've gotten a hernia. There's no tell-tale bump in my
belly but, on examining my nethers, I found an extra lump, and I know
that it's not 'cause I'm a buck-and-a-half. Where did I get it? I
dunno. I really don't have any agonizing abdominal pain (yet). I
suspect, though, that I got it last weekend while doing the Reserve
thing. Not only did I do a lot of heavy lifting, but there's more money
in that theory.
I mean, what else could it be? I'm pretty darn sure that guys don't just
spontaneously grow an extra testicle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Payne, known to you as: n954...@cc.wwu.edu
Western Washington University -- Bellingham, WA -- The Great Northwet!
"What is FUN? Why is it usually colored BRIGHT PINK, and where does
it go when JESSE HELMS comes around?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
John Wiederhirn
Wes Payne (n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu) spaketh:
:> ta...@enterprise.america.com (Jack Epstein) writes:
:> >hey there...i've heard about nevy bootcamp but how tasteless is airforce
:> >bootcamp?...some1 describe it...i was thinking of joining and wanted to
:> >know how it is...thankx
:> Are you kidding? Compared to the other services, the AF is Pretty Darn Soft.
:> For a little info, here is how different branches view military exercises:
[marines omitted, stuff snipped]
One of the more tasteless scenes I saw in bootcamp (Marine bootcamp) was
when another private, after asking for an "emergency head call" and being
waylaid for his phrasing promptly shit his pants.
The head D.I. then routed this guy into the showers while the rest of us
were sitting around, and on noticing the guy didn't have clean pants (long
story, detracts) made the guy wear the ex-shit-recipient trousers for the
rest of the drill training.
Sadly, the only event more disgusting I can report is the time another
recruit got up while I was on firewatch, came back nude, and said he'd
had a slight accident (as if asking for help). Turned out the guy had
gone to a urinal and floored his shorts with liquishit. As I recall my
response was "Im on duty, clean it up." I did go look, as he described
it, and his ex-white boxers were on the floor in a notable shitpie.
He did, I went back to station, and it didn't come up again. He was cool
about it and ya dont fuck with peers in basic, cause it might happen to
you.
John
Simon Young
|> ... nice postop opiates, though. I recommend Vicodin as the
|> best of the available choices. Use it sparingly, so you can
|> save it for later with a beer.
Hmmmn. I still have a dozen or so left from a recent bout with
dental surgery (I've a high pain threshold, but the meds were
thrust upon me). What's the recommended (heh) dosage?
-- Spike
ObFleeingTheCountry: Belize. Former British colony. Law and order.
Good weather. Tropical totty. It's where I'm going as soon as the
citizenship comes through and I've the need to run (which if my
boss doesn't get his acto together, may be any time soon.....)
Anthony Bowyer-Lowe
In article <WORLEY.96...@world.std.com>
wor...@world.std.com "Dale R Worley" writes:
> BTW, the Marines are probably the most tasteless branch of the
> military. ("You'll never meet a better man than a Marine. You'll
> never meet a worse bunch of assholes than ten Marines." -- my paw, ex
> Army) Why don't we get more Marine stories here?
Okay then...
When I was a young, fucked up psycho (unlike the slightly older fucked
up psycho that I am now) I joined the Army Cadets. "Like, I lie and
pledge allegiance to that whore the Queen and you give me firearms
and live rounds? Sure!"
On our summer camp, we where on this Army base in Dartmoor. Dartmoor
has a prison where the UKs harder criminals get sent. It's such a
inhospitable shit-hole the tard-government we have must figure that
any escapees would die of hypothermia before reaching any civilization
to rape.
Now, on this base were 100 cadets (all between the ages of 14 and 18)
with their tard^H^H^H^Hreject^H^H^H^H^Hinstructors, and the only other
people on the base were 25 Royal Marines (completely unconnected with
us).
The morones were about to go out on exercise, and me and a few buddies
in my platoon saw them emptying their canteens.
"Won't you need some water on the four day exercise you're going on?"
"Ugh. Nah. We gonna drink piss. Our piss. Ungh."
"Shit. Your officers must be real cunts."
"Nah. He he he. We drinking our piss for fun. We hard."
And they did. For four days. Sheeit, those were scary dudes. Never
before had I seen people with necks wider than their head.
BTW: As part of their tortur^H^H^H^H^H^Htraining regime, the Marines
had to take special pills as part of their diet. I really doubt they
were vitamins.
Actually, a number of tasteless things happened while I was in the
cadets. Stories involving mercenaries and nearly being killed by
grenades to follow.
Anthony.
"Don't do me like Daddy did me..."
Anthony Bowyer-Lowe
In article <3254124B...@synopsys.com>
sp...@synopsys.com "Simon Young" writes:
> ObFleeingTheCountry: Belize. Former British colony. Law and order.
> Good weather. Tropical totty. It's where I'm going as soon as the
> citizenship comes through and I've the need to run (which if my
> boss doesn't get his acto together, may be any time soon.....)
This is related to another subject in this thread: Marines.
Be warned that all the armed forces of the world seem to use Belize
for jungle warfare training. The chances of being clipped by bullets
fired from a grunt off his face (tripping his nuts off, ass-holed,
shit-faced - what would that wanker Freud think of this druggy
terminology?) on mozzie spray is pretty high...
I once saw a photo of the Foreign Legion on exercise in Belize. They
all had the most immaculate application of camouflage cream on their
faces, but had forgotten to apply the camo to their necks, ears, and
hands.
"Oh wow! There's some ears and a neck approaching. I wonder
what would happen if I fire between them?"
[bang]
"Cool! Scratch one frog..."
Anthony.
--
Polly: "Don't do me like Daddy did me..."
Anthony: "Do me like Mummy did me..."
Wes Payne
wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:
>In article <n9548326.844210937@statler> n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu (Wes Payne) writes:
> For a little info, here is how different branches view military exercises:
> Army Infantry: Slogging about in a marsh, surrounded by weeds, muttering
> "God, this SUCKS!"
>Marines: "We like it here!"
>BTW, the Marines are probably the most tasteless branch of the
>military. ("You'll never meet a better man than a Marine. You'll
>never meet a worse bunch of assholes than ten Marines." -- my paw, ex
>Army) Why don't we get more Marine stories here?
Simple: We haven't got enough Marines posting in a.t.. They're probably
too busy out doing tasteless things to take the time to tell us about them.
Let me tell you about my scrotum --
Visited a doc at Student Health Services (finally got something out of my
$40 a quarter 'Wellness' fee) and found out that I've got not one, but
two bouncing baby HERNIAS. Yep. I really ripped myself this time.
Nothing requiring surgery, just an extra lump in my sack when the tissue
intrudes. It doesn't even hurt much. Yet.
At least it didn't turn out to be a fluid cell. Pee Ess told me a horror
story about those that made my 'nads flee into my body. It's not often
that just reading something will make me cringe. I gotta wait for a few
things to be wrinkled out with my health insurance, at which time I'll go
in for surgery, and then bore you with all of the bowel-tucking,
abdomen-stitching details in living color with four-part harmony.
robn...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
Simon Young (sp...@synopsys.com) wrote:
: ObFleeingTheCountry: Belize. Former British colony. Law and order.
: Good weather. Tropical totty. It's where I'm going as soon as the
: citizenship comes through and I've the need to run (which if my
: boss doesn't get his acto together, may be any time soon.....)
Tell me more. I figure if Quebec separates (and they're planning another
vote in 98 or so, and it'll probably go through), the rest of Canada has
about a 50-50 chance of hanging together vs. disintegrating and
eventually becoming part of the Yoo Ess. If that happens, I'm outtahere.
My criteria for where-to-piss-off-to are as follows:
* English the main lingua franca;
* Preferably Commonwealth;
* Reasonable climate (can't be any worse than here, but I *do* hate rain);
* Decent job and educational opportunities.
I've always figured the highest-scoring places from those criteria are
Australia, New Zealand, and some bits of the Caribbean. Always figured
Belize was a little boony, but feel free to educate my ignorant ass.
ObT: The way my throat works when I have laryngitis (like now). Voice
trails off to nothingness, then I have a drink or a hork and loosen up a
big chunk of phlegm (usually greenish), then I can talk again for a
while. What, the viscous snot slows down the vocal cords like Wile E.
Coyote hitting a patch of tar on the road?
Robert
--
Robert Slaven http://www.freenet.edmonton.ab.ca/~robnorth ra...@gov.nt.ca
Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada Lemon curry? (MPFC)
Simba: "You're so weird!" Scar: "You have *no* idea...." (The Lion King)
A flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. (Burgess, A Clockwork Orange)
Steve Howie
Wes Payne <n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu> wrote:
: wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:
: At least it didn't turn out to be a fluid cell. Pee Ess told me a horror
: story about those that made my 'nads flee into my body. It's not often
: that just reading something will make me cringe. I gotta wait for a few
: things to be wrinkled out with my health insurance, at which time I'll go
: in for surgery, and then bore you with all of the bowel-tucking,
: abdomen-stitching details in living color with four-part harmony.
Your bilateral "hernia-ectomy" will probably be a bit of a disappointment,
from a tasteless standpoint. I understand the preferred method nowadays is
to do them laproscopically -that's where they make 2 or 3 small incisions
in your abdomen and put in a miniature TV camera, a low pressure gas tube
to inflate the peritoneal cavity to allow space and a third 'robot' arm to
which they attach all the implements of death. They then proceed to
staple, stich, slice, dice and cauterise remotely. Does this sound fairly
close to reality, Sonja?
At least you could ask the doctor for a copy of the videotape :)
Scotty
=================================================================
Steve Howie Email: sho...@uoguelph.ca
NetNews and Listserv Admin. Phone: (519) 824-4120 x2556
Computing and Communications Svcs. Fax: (519) 763-6143
University of Guelph
If it's not Scottish its CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP
=================================================================
Conradin
Wes Payne <n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu> wrote:
> Let me tell you about my scrotum --
>
> Visited a doc at Student Health Services (finally got something out of my
> $40 a quarter 'Wellness' fee) and found out that I've got not one, but two
> bouncing baby HERNIAS. At least it didn't turn out to be a fluid cell.
> Pee Ess told me a horror story about those that made my 'nads flee into my
> body. It's not often that just reading something will make me cringe.
Oooohh, do tell! I've got one over my left nut that used to cause me
some pain when it filled up. The quack told me it was a hydrocele, but
it only hurt if I jerked off too much (now there's a concept), so I
wondered if spermatocele might be more accurate. It's not even palpable
right now (I'm typing this one-handed).
So, did Paul give his spooge donor's nutsack a friendly squeeze and get a
blast of pus in his eager waiting mouth for his trouble? Or did a FOAF
let his cyst go for too long and wound up looking a an elephantiasis
victim, having to cart his necrotic funbag around in a wheelbarrow?
Conradin
Wes Payne
impe...@netcom.com (Conradin) writes:
>Wes Payne <n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu> wrote:
>> Let me tell you about my scrotum --
[snip--OUCH!]
>Oooohh, do tell! I've got one over my left nut that used to cause me
>some pain when it filled up. The quack told me it was a hydrocele, but
>it only hurt if I jerked off too much (now there's a concept), so I
>wondered if spermatocele might be more accurate. It's not even palpable
>right now (I'm typing this one-handed).
>So, did Paul give his spooge donor's nutsack a friendly squeeze and get a
>blast of pus in his eager waiting mouth for his trouble? Or did a FOAF
>let his cyst go for too long and wound up looking a an elephantiasis
>victim, having to cart his necrotic funbag around in a wheelbarrow?
I didn't get the impression that he was speaking from personal
experience, but he did know almost all of the gruesome details about how
they're treated. Okay-- they're not THAT gruesome, just so long as it's
happening to somebody else...
Anyway, he tells the story much better than I do. Perhaps before we talk
about him in front of his back anymore we ought to let him throw his
$1.77 (adjusted for inflation) into this thread.
Wes Payne
Steve Howie <sho...@uoguelph.ca> writes:
>Wes Payne <n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu> wrote:
[I've got hernias and gotta get 'em fixed, blah, blah, blah...]
>Your bilateral "hernia-ectomy" will probably be a bit of a disappointment,
>from a tasteless standpoint. I understand the preferred method nowadays is
>to do them laproscopically -that's where they make 2 or 3 small incisions
>in your abdomen and put in a miniature TV camera, a low pressure gas tube
>to inflate the peritoneal cavity to allow space and a third 'robot' arm to
>which they attach all the implements of death. They then proceed to
>staple, stich, slice, dice and cauterise remotely. Does this sound fairly
>close to reality, Sonja?
Of course, one could just go NUTS (ahem) thinking about all of the things
that could go wrong. That gas tube, fr'instance. Blown regulator =
inflatable human sex toy.
>At least you could ask the doctor for a copy of the videotape :)
Definitely. I gotta do this operation before its time for the TSS
exchange, at least...
Paul Frederick Schnellbecher
Wes Payne (n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu) wrote:
: ImaP...@netcom.com (Conradin) writes:
: >Wes Payne <n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu> wrote:
: >> Let me tell you about my scrotum --
: [snip--OUCH!]
: >Oooohh, do tell! I've got one over my left nut that used to cause me
: >some pain when it filled up. The quack told me it was a hydrocele, but
: >it only hurt if I jerked off too much (now there's a concept), so I
: >wondered if spermatocele might be more accurate. It's not even palpable
: >right now (I'm typing this one-handed).
: >So, did Paul give his spooge donor's nutsack a friendly squeeze and get a
: >blast of pus in his eager waiting mouth for his trouble? Or did a FOAF
: >let his cyst go for too long and wound up looking a an elephantiasis
: >victim, having to cart his necrotic funbag around in a wheelbarrow?
One of these days when I'm really really bored I shall have to teach Mr
Penis to keep a civil tongggggue in my ass.
: I didn't get the impression that he was speaking from personal
: experience, but he did know almost all of the gruesome details about how
: they're treated. Okay-- they're not THAT gruesome, just so long as it's
: happening to somebody else...
What it was was I read a medical text a long time ago in which they
described the method for draining a hydrocele. The urologist palpitates
the scrotum to separate fluid-filled sac from nut tissue. He pokes the
fluid sac with a needle and aspirates the contents of the sac. He might
inject an irritant substance to aid in the destruction of the membrane
enclosing the fluid. Today you might get an injection of Lidocaine with
an insulin needle to numb your nuts. (Numbnuts. The concept.) But the
Lidocaine might sting as much or worse than the actual procedure.
: Anyway, he tells the story much better than I do. Perhaps before we talk
: about him in front of his back anymore we ought to let him throw his
: $1.77 (adjusted for inflation) into this thread.
That'll be $2 please. Inflation.
Pee Ess
Wes Payne
On Tue, 8 Oct 1996, Jack Kevorkheimer wrote:
> In article <n9548326.844669443@statler> you write:
>
> >Of course, one could just go NUTS (ahem) thinking about all of the things
> >that could go wrong. That gas tube, fr'instance. Blown regulator =
> >inflatable human sex toy.
>
> Why do I get the feeling you've seen the "Happiness in Slavery" video?
I dunno. I haven't. I get the feeling that I ought to, though...
amp
It was 7 Oct 1996 17:29:18 GMT when Paul Frederick Schnellbecher <pau...@rahul.net> writed:
>Wes Payne (n954...@statler.cc.wwu.edu) wrote:
>
>: ImaP...@netcom.com (Conradin) writes:
>
>: >Wes Payne <n9 sac from nut tissue. He pokes the
>fluid sac with a needle and aspirates the contents of the sac. He might
>: about him in front of his back anymore we ought to let him throw his
>: $1.77 (adjusted for inflation) into this thread.
>
>That'll be $2 please.
>
>Pee Ess
and bacon
amp:
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