Cute Cat

[Kevin Quah]

My cat is so cute. He's so fat and cuddly you wouldn't believe it.
He's afraid of the slightest noise in the house - it's such a puss.
He lies on its back on top of the TV all day with its tail overhanging
on one side - my friends think it looks so vulgar but I think it's
*cute*.

Here's the clincher, if you work real hard to amuse him, stroking
him and tickling him under the chin and show lots of *love*,
he will wink at you. Isn't that so cute and exciting?

[Scott C. Gray]

No.

[Trashcan Man]

In article <26nprn$a...@sisters.cs.uoregon.edu> kq...@cs.uoregon.edu (Kevin Quah) writes:

>My cat is so cute. He's so fat and cuddly you wouldn't believe it.
>He's afraid of the slightest noise in the house - it's such a puss.

Noises like me coming in with the chainsaw and making stew out or your loved
ones?

>He lies on its back on top of the TV all day with its tail overhanging
>on one side - my friends think it looks so vulgar but I think it's
>*cute*.

Cool! You know how much radiation comes out of the back of a T.V. set?
With any luck, he'll be growing tumors by March!!!

>Here's the clincher, if you work real hard to amuse him, stroking
>him and tickling him under the chin and show lots of *love*,
>he will wink at you. Isn't that so cute and exciting?

My idea of showing him love is impaling him on my inhuman sized choad.
Thrusting and thrusting away until he spews out his kidneys.

Trashcan Man.

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[James William Stepanek]

On 09-Sep-93 in Cute Cat

user Kevin Qu...@cs.uoregon.ed writes:
>My cat is so cute. He's so fat and cuddly you wouldn't believe it.
>He's afraid of the slightest noise in the house - it's such a puss.

>He lies on its back on top of the TV all day with its tail overhanging
>on one side - my friends think it looks so vulgar but I think it's
>*cute*.
>

>Here's the clincher, if you work real hard to amuse him, stroking
>him and tickling him under the chin and show lots of *love*,
>he will wink at you. Isn't that so cute and exciting?

So I guess he only purrs when you give him it up the bung-hole eh? I bet
his eyes get real big then. Is he big enough so that wrapping in
duct-tape isn't necessary for safety's sake, or did you allready pull
out all his hair to facilitate daily tape removal? After you repeated
purring sessions does he walk funny yet? Anyway your friends probably
find the trails of your dried out spunk cascading down the T.V. vulgar,
you're just too friggin clueless to notice.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
James Stepanek Graduate Student
Materials Science and Engineering Carnegie Mellon University
"All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others"
George Orwell-Animal Farm
Don't Worry it was just a tactical puke.
These are my opinions and if the university had them I'd probably go into
convulsions
--------------------------------esp------------------------------------------

[matthew Reinker]

In article <26nprn$a...@sisters.cs.uoregon.edu> kq...@cs.uoregon.edu (Kevin Quah) writes:

>My cat is so cute. He's so fat and cuddly you wouldn't believe it.
>

Great! Sounds like you've been fatteining that pussy up successfully.
Now if I might make some helpful suggestions. First, skin it. If the
skin's large enough, use it for a toilet seat cover. My last fat cat
adorns my holy throne. I love sitting on it, the course fur tickling my
scrotum.

Next you remove the intestines, you can either save them too make
sausage, or do what I do and throw them at the neighbors. Some of the
innards can be used to make a wonderful gravy. Most of the skinning and
prepping of the carcass is not my field. I just like to watch an d beat
off while it's done. My forte is the cooking.

I prefer stir frying. Slice the sections of meat into strips. Put
about a table spoon of oil in the bottom of the wok and mix with assorted
vegatables. I personally suggest onions and green peppers. A touch of
soy sauce for flavor. Cook until meat is tender and the onions are
lightly browned. A good sized cat will feed two people if the sausage is
prepared as well.
Note* The sausage tastes better if you do not clean it after removing
it from the cat.

Enjoy

X

"Come on Fluffy, It's time for a wok."
--
"Pathetic victims of arrested development! * mrei...@nyx.cs.du.edu
Prepare to hear the VOICE of REASON!!!!" * (Matt Reinker)
~~~~The Chainsaw Vigilante~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have no idea where these opinions came from. It's not my fault!!!

[Michael Parkinson]

yeah well better than my cat, he just dribbles all over you.
mike

[IVA...@gateway.atd.cra.com.au]

In <26nprn$a...@sisters.cs.uoregon.edu> kq...@cs.uoregon.edu writes:

That's the spirit, strike back. Much more mature than complaints to
administration. And by far and away the most tasteless thing I have ever read
in A.T. Well done !

I'm a cat owner too, but I freely admit that I am possessed and have no will of
my own. I feed it and keep it warm while it idles around thieving and torturing
smaller animals to death.

You see, there's nothing I can do. But I can still laugh at people who don't
realise this.

Ivanoff

************************************************************************
* There's nothing worse than a concerned citizen *
************************************************************************
* DISCLAIMER - my opinions are my own and don't reflect those of any of*
* my associates or employers. *
* You are free to misinterpret my words however you please. *
* You are NOT free to diagnose my intent. *
************************************************************************

[Christine *Tannis Wundrow]

In article <26nprn$a...@sisters.cs.uoregon.edu> kq...@cs.uoregon.edu (Kevin Quah) writes:

What does this have to do with tasteless???