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Vellov

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Mar 10, 2009, 12:34:36 PM3/10/09
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Anyone who would like to experience intense, localized pain that lasts
several days could do a lot worse than to suffer an attack of gout. I've had
this pleasure over the last three and a half days, and it *hurts like fuck.*
I know nobody takes it seriously, and we all - here in UK at any rate -
think of it as a condition appertaining to crusty old port-swilling retired
colonels, but let me tell you this: that cartoonish, testy, choleric bad
temper is perfectly understandable when *nothing* will relieve the pain in
the large joint of your big toe.
It started on Friday: I had a job in the afternoon involving some walking,
and I was limping by the end of it, a bruised, rheumaticky pain that made it
difficult to put any weight on my right foot. I slept OK, aided by a couple
of bottles of wine, but on Saturday morning it was really hurting: I could
hardly put my foot on the floor, and it hurt even more when I picked my foot
up again. Putting my socks on was a real chore, because even the lightest
touch against the reddening, swollen area at the base of my big toe made me
wince and whimper. Googling "pain in toe" brings gout up towards the top of
the list. I did a bit of research - cherry juice, perhaps, no beer, no
chicken...Uric acid, which is one of the substances that piss is designed to
get rid of, is present in our bloodstreams. If there is too much of it, it
will solidify into sharp little crystals inside a joint, usually the toe.
And the body will see it as an enemy, causing redness, inflammation and much
pain. Attacks can go on for weeks. They tend to get more frequent as time
goes on. It seems to be incurable.
I didn't go out on Saturday. Saturday night, I hardly slept: the pain kept
waking me up. I had read that even the weight of a sheet could be
unbearable, and it was: a whisper of a draught touching my foot set off
zinging red alarms of agony. Sunday I was exhausted, but managed to get to
the shop to buy some more wine and some cheese. I tried to distract myself
looking at 'Are You Interested' on Facebook, but the pain was distracting
and I may have made some bad 'Yes' clicks. Sunday night, just a bit of
sleep. Monday morning, I could only move from one room of my flat to another
by sliding along the walls, walking on my heels and supporting myself by
leaning on furniture.
Monday: no better. Enough. I made an appointment with the doctor. It's less
than a mile away, and I wouldn't normally consider anything but walking. I
took a taxi. I think I've got gout, I said. Oh yes, she said, absolutely
typical of it, and she wrote a prescription.
I opened the drugs on the way out of the pharmacy and took a double dose
even before I phoned the taxi to take me back home. Then I read the
information leaflet: always take after food, this is a really powerful
anti-inflammatory, loads of side effects, be very careful. Not important
under the circumstances.
I woke up at about seven this morning: the pain level had gone down from
frightening to hurts-like-a-sprain. Not right yet, but on the way.
vellov

ObT: Possible side effects of indometacin, among many others: blood in the
faeces, black tarry stools, skin peeling or blistering, red tender nodules
on the shins, swelling of the face, mental disturbances, involuntary jerky
movements, inflammation of the brain and spinal membranes, deposits in the
cornea, loss of balance, hair loss, bleeding from the vagina, breast
development in men.
Well, at least I haven't got a vagina. Probably have tits soon, though.

nikolai kingsley

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Mar 10, 2009, 12:46:29 PM3/10/09
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> port-swilling retired colonels, but let me tell you this: that
> cartoonish, testy, choleric bad temper is perfectly understandable when
> *nothing* will relieve the pain in the large joint of your big toe.


take some Voltaren and shut up.

Vellov

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Mar 10, 2009, 1:15:57 PM3/10/09
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Vellov said

>> cartoonish, testy, choleric bad temper is perfectly understandable when

then
"nikolai kingsley" <sher...@invalid.alphalink.com.au> wrote

> take some Voltaren and shut up.

..................
> too much effort for no return.
..................
> my next guess would have been islamic. they're so *touchy*.
..................
> Australian newsreader who was on holiday in the middle of the bush fires.
..................
> oh yeah. people are absolutely terrified that some guys they don't know
> might off themselves.
..................
> in order to save the village, we had to destroy it.
..................
> if Ron Barassi died suddenly, you wouldn't know or care.
..................

I'm not alone in the Grumpy Bastards club though, am I, Nik, old bean?
vellov

ObT: had to get a blood test done this morning, to check uric acid levels.
It was the phlebotomist's first day. Took him ages to find the vein in my
right arm at all, after prodding and probing and twisting the needle
sideways, and then he only got half a vial of blood. They're huge spikes, as
well, wide enough to allow the passage of thick cholesterol-laden blood
that's practically raw black pudding. I was tempted to grab the syringe from
him and do it myself, but that would have betrayed too many of the Secrets
of my Past. He told me after that it had been difficult because my vein was
'sort of spiral.' I nearly said 'Wait 'til you see my dick,' but I was
feeling a bit light-headed and thought I ought to go.

nikolai kingsley

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Mar 10, 2009, 8:48:09 PM3/10/09
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> I'm not alone in the Grumpy Bastards club though, am I, Nik, old bean?


i've got gout.

no, i'm just a little on edge because one of my cow orkers lost half his
hand to a grinding machine that i have to feed material into. i'm not
that worried; Ardie is an alcoholic. he didn't feel any pain for the
first thirty seconds or so.

"stop whining, you've still got most of your thumb, there."

Vellov

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Mar 11, 2009, 4:37:04 AM3/11/09
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"nikolai kingsley" <sher...@invalid.alphalink.com.au> wrote

> no, i'm just a little on edge because one of my cow orkers lost half his
> hand to a grinding machine that i have to feed material into. i'm not that
> worried; Ardie is an alcoholic. he didn't feel any pain for the first
> thirty seconds or so.

I don't suppose anybody had the presence of mind to take pictures?
vellov

ObGout: Doctor said if it hadn't got better by today to go back there. It
hasn't - not properly - so another visit. The problem is now a red, swollen,
slightly spongy area on top of my big toe.

ObT: On a visit to Cardiff a while back, I walked through the shopping mall
in the town centre. It was crowded, all the benches full, but I noticed that
on one bench there was just one man, a youngish long-haired chap dressed in
jeans and a denim jacket. There was nobody near him, a sort of bubble of
space in the crowded centre. As I got closer, I noticed a strange sweetish
smell. The scent got stronger, with undertones of ammonia and something
else, a warm, dirty odour, tangy like cheese. I realised the odour was
coming from him. He was half-turned away from me: he reached behind him,
down into his beltless jeans, and rubbed his behind. As he pulled his hand
back out, a really harsh stink of shit came from him, layers of smell, fresh
and sharp over ancient and foul. I turned away and retreated a few feet. Now
that I looked at him properly, he was very unkempt, and I could see dirt on
his face. He obviously hadn't washed for weeks. He had the distant look of
the mentally ill. The smell came from him in waves, following a few seconds
behind his movements as the air wafted concentrically away from him. I
imagine the security guards had just decided they weren't going to go near
him. The contagious stink would have lingered in their hair and clothes.
Later that day, walking back through the market area of town, I caught a
whiff of the same rotten body odour. I looked around. Upwind, yes, there he
was, at least twenty feet away from me. His was probably the smelliest body
I've ever know a live human to have.

bichcakes

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Mar 16, 2009, 5:21:34 PM3/16/09
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> I know nobody takes it seriously, and we all -

No-one does, this is correct. Write back when yer up to 10 oxycodone per
day which should certainly be sufficient but 'oh the pain' hahaha!
You are a classic example of a whinging POM.
I do sympathise for ur pain btw.


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