Operation: Root Canal
Robinson
Yours Truly is posting at the somewhat peculiar hour of 05:35 AM EST.
While this is not unusual on Thursdays-Saturdays for me, this morning it
is:
I am the Survivor of A Root Canal. And oh my friends and neighbors, is
it letting me know about it NOW.
Flashback to Tuesday morning, 9:20 AM. 6 month dental checkup that I had
purposely delayed for a year, due to the fact I knew either a RC or an
extraction was in my near future. Only reason I went in at this time was
that my last flossing dislodged some chunks of enamel from the culprit
tooth, which I decided was Most Likely Not A Good Thing.
Anyway, Dr. Terror comes in after the cleaning, pokes around, goes
"Mmm-hmmm. Mmmm-hmmm....mmm-HMMMM" like fucking Wilson on Home
Improvement, and says "Root canal!" in a boyishly cheerful manner.
Knowing I had no bargaining power at all, I timidly inquired about the
possibility of a simple extraction.
"Well, if you want to look like a Waffle House waitress....it's the
tooth directly behind your eyetooth."
Oh. Okay. Root Canal it is. Paid my bill, came home, immediately started
looking up root canals on the 'net. Note that I did NOT request input
re: experiences from this lofty forum--I ain't stupid. Most sites
reported little or no discomfort, and all stressed PROFOUND numbing of
the tooth. Okay. That's acceptable, since my Dental Professional
declines to offer nitrous.
February 2, 1400 hours. It Is Time. I recline in the chair, get covered
with plastic and the little paper bib, and Doc proceeds to profoundly
numb my tooth. I am numb from lower left eyelid to lower left lip. My
left nostril is numb. My left ear is numb. He could have shot off an
M-80 in my mouth and I wouldn't have known.
And we begin. I don't know if anyone else here has had a root canal, but
basically what happens is the tooth is opened up, and the dentist
proceeds to drill, scrape, file, shred, and otherwise remove all the
pulp and nerve from the tooth--that would be the LIVE part of your
tooth. The sounds in your head are phenomenal. If your doc is good, you
shouldn't feel anything. If he isn't, you will be writhing in pain.
Luckily my doc is good. Perhaps my statement that we would start by my
taking a handful of tender bits, and that every time he hurt me, I'd
hurt him made him extremely conscientious regarding adequate anesthetic.
At any rate, there was no pain or discomfort at all. I was even humming
"City of New Orleans".
Until The Probe.
What is The Probe? This is a wicked sharp THING that is slid down a
freshly drilled out canal to see if they've bottomed out. How do they
tell? The patient may "react". Yeah. He slid that damn thing in and I
about flew out of that chair with a "ggnnnNANANAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhh!" He
jumped, the nurse jumped, I glared at him. Felt like he'd rammed a hot
wire into my jaw and out my sinus.
"Oh, you must have felt that. Sorry!" he chirped. "Gnnuuuu GGNNEHH gnaa
gnnehhkk gnaaahhh!" I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Huh?"
he asked, looking to the nurse for translation. "You BET I felt that!"
she supplied. I growled in my throat at him. He looked shocked and asked
if I was growling at him. The nurse said "Yes, I think she is." And
snickered.
He removed the probe and introduced the hypo with the anesthetic again.
Ahhhhh blissful numbitude. I relaxed, the nurse relaxed, doc relaxed
(was he worried about his balls? Hope so), and we continued. Finally the
rough drilling of the canals was complete, and removal of the pulp by
files began.
Cute little things, these files, look like transistors and capacitors
waiting to be soldered onto a board. They're even more cute when they
rasp against tender bits of pulp that haven't died and decayed in your
head yet. This entire period was punctuated with small "nnnnn", "gnaaa!"
and "ngt!" sounds from The Patient, and "Sorry" responses from Doc.
Periodically the canals are rinsed with a hypo filled with an
antibacterial cleansing solution--Clorox!! You haven't lived until you
smell household bleach in your mouth. (NB: they put a huge latex dental
dam around the affected tooth so they don't poison you with the bleach.
Mine was neon green. No, I didn't get to take it home.)
An hour of scrape, scrape, zzzzzzz, chip, chip, squirt, zzzzzzzz,
scrape, "gnaaaa!", scrape. Finally it's time to Measure The Canals.
Files are inserted into the canals, and you have X-Ray's taken to see if
he's hit bottom yet. Why he hit bottom with the fucking probe but hasn't
with the files is beyond me.
Whilst preparing for the first set of X-Ray's I comment "gnii'ghh gna
gnihhhiihh gnaayyghy". Pardon? Nurse interjects, "I think it's getting a
little achey." I look at her with pure dumb gratitude. "No problem!
We'll fix that right up!" and in swoops the anesthetic. AAaaaahhhhh.....
At last the canals are deemed Complete, and filling of the canals in the
now hollowed out tooth shell commences. But first, having somehow
devined I am a tasteless individual, Doc inquires if I would like to see
my canals. "Gnnuuu gneh!" I reply. So he hands me a mirror, and holds
his little dental mirror just right so I can observe the horror he has
wreaked upon me.
The entire top and tongue side of my tooth is gone. The interior has
been drilled down *below* the gumline, and is a peculiar shade of brown.
And in that brown field are two tiny black pinpoints--my root canals.
He's pointing at them with one of those sharp probes, and I am utterly
fascinated. "Ghhoooooolll!" I burble, and we return to the Filling Of
The Canals.
Gutta-percha, a product of tropical tree sap, is inserted into the
canals, and more tiny bits of same are stuffed in around the g-p sticks.
This was covered on the websites. What was NOT covered was the fact
that, after the g-p is gooshed in there, a sealant is applied and then
Dr. Terror heats up a probe over a butane flame and MELTS this shit into
your tooth. Smoke and the smell of burnt rubber seep from my mouth--a
novel sight and sense. No pain, we are still "profoundly numb".
Then a temporary filling containing enough gold to make it a nauseous
yellow is squerked around in there, I pay my bill, receive a scrip for
hydrocodone (8 tablets, the cheapskate) and sent on my merry way, to
return one week hence for creation of a crown. "Pound the ibuprofen!" he
yelps cheerily, then turns to his next victim.
Felt pretty good until the anesthetic wore off, and my mouth started
inquiring exactly WHAT I had done to it. Pounded down 800 mg ibuprofen,
ate supper (Jambalaya), and went to bed. Woke up at 11 pm, tooth singing
the blues, pounded 800 mg again. Sat up for a few hours, took another
200 mg and a hydrocodone. Went to bed at 2 am.
Woke up at 4:45 am, tooth is once again doing it's impresson of The
Marathon Man, and it's too damn early to take anything. So I'm sharing
this with you and waiting for 6 am. Maybe not particularly tasteless in
and of itself, but I'm hoping there are sufficient dental phobics out
there that I've made some stomachs turn and balls disappear into
abdomens just from the sheer thought of a root canal.
At any rate, I've tried.
Lorri
The Tooth, The Whole Tooth, and Nothing But The Tooth
E. Varden
Robinson wrote:
>
>
> I am the Survivor of A Root Canal. And oh my friends and neighbors, is
> it letting me know about it NOW.
<snip a dandy tale of chair-terror>
My RC was virtually painless, but the smoke and stink rising from my
wedged-open mouth was a shock. What was this, a tiny Dachau in my head?
ObT: This guy does this stuff every working day of his life. No wonder the
suicide rate is so high. Yuk!
Pe
gej
<rob...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>Those of you who compulsively check date stamps on posts may
notice that
>Yours Truly is posting at the somewhat peculiar hour of 05:35
AM EST.
>While this is not unusual on Thursdays-Saturdays for me, this
morning it
>is:
>
>I am the Survivor of A Root Canal. And oh my friends and
neighbors, is
>it letting me know about it NOW.
>
I'm not going to let you ruin my root canal experience.
I went to Vegas to play in a chess tournament (I suck, but I
like to play). It was pretty much a dream vacation, all
expenses paid due to a bonus I got for some hard work at my
company. I stayed in the hotel right across the street from the
tournament site. Anatoly Karpov (Former[1] world chess
champion) was going to be there. Everything was perfect,
except... My back tooth started hurting. It had happened before
but usually the pain went away before I could be bothered to go
to the dentist. Not so this time. This time it didn't go
away. This time it wanted to play.
It wasn't a dull pain. Oh no. That would be too simple. It
wasn't something that aspirin[2] could even begin to touch. I
actually wept at night because I wanted it to leave me alone
long enough to get some sleep. Somehow the tooth gave up each
night and I did manage a few hours of sleep.
Why now? It was a good tournament with a lot of names. I
almost ran over Josh Waitzkin[3] while wandering around in my
painful stupor. Concentrating on a chess position with a
throbbing tooth is futile. Unfortunately I resigned my last
game prematurely because I just couldn't take it anymore. Why
couldn't it have happened three days later? Why did my
wonderful chess vacation have to be ruined?
Eating of course presented a different adventure. I didn't
realize until later that hot foods only made the problem worse,
and I left several steaks[4] uneaten. You see, the root was
infected, and when it was heated it expanded. This caused
pain. I finally learned on my flight home that if I held ice or
cold water near the tooth I could gain a few minutes relief. A
water bottle became my constant companion.
I went to the dentist that Monday. I was confused and angry. I
didn't know what was happening or why. The dentist took one
look at my X-rays and said: ``Root Canal. Now.'' Then he
said, ``Your wisdom teeth need to come out. Next week.'' He
showed me the photos where one of my wisdom teeth had tried to
grow into the space of the tooth in front of it. Some food had
gotten down there, ruined the party for everyone, and now I was
paying the price. I was given an apointment the next day with a
root canal specialist. Another apointment was set up with the
wisdom tooth guy the next week.
I go to the root canal guy. I'm a special case, interupting
their carefully worked out schedule. He explains why the cold
water was such a big help. He explained the procedure and he
assured me the pain would go away. I was skeptical. You can
imagine the smoke and the smell. The funnest part was the
little rubber sheet they put over my mouth to keep the gunk
out. He had to keep giving more novocaine, making comments like
``I can't believe he can still feel this.''
I walk out, my jaw numb, my faith in what is beautiful
completely restored. I want to run back and kiss the root canal
guy's feet. I still clutch my water bottle, but the relief I
feel has opened up a new life before me. I have looked into the
abyss and lived to tell the tale. I go back to work and begin
spreading the gospel of root canals. Everyone should get one.
Prevent problems now! Replace all of your roots with pins! Yea
pins! My greatest fear is when the novocaine wears off I'll be
regretting it again, but it didn't happen. The root canal man
was as good as his word. The pain was gone.
Of course, I was still looking at the wisdom tooth extraction.
gene
[1] or current, depending on who you ask.
[2] about $10 for a small bottle in the hotel lobby.
[3] of ``Searching for Bobby Fischer'' fame.
[4] this was all expenses paid. If I had bought them, toothache
or not, they would have been eaten.
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Bill
> Cute little things, these files, look like transistors and capacitors
> waiting to be soldered onto a board. They're even more cute when they
> rasp against tender bits of pulp that haven't died and decayed in your
> head yet. This entire period was punctuated with small "nnnnn", "gnaaa!"
> and "ngt!" sounds from The Patient, and "Sorry" responses from Doc.
> Periodically the canals are rinsed with a hypo filled with an
> antibacterial cleansing solution--Clorox!!
My first ( of 7 ) was done by a former linebacker of the Baltimore Colts.
You can imagine how small and delicate his hands were. The filing process
is done with two fingers. The file is inserted in the canal and then it is all
finger action. When you have pain after the event it is usually because there
is still live tissue ( read raw nerve ) in the canal so the filing process is
critical.
My SO's first RT was done while she was asleep by a dental surgeon and she
never felt a thing. The last Entodonist that I went to had a sail boat named
The Rt Canal and I paid for the new dacron sails for him.
GRay
> I am the Survivor of A Root Canal. And oh my friends and neighbors, is
> it letting me know about it NOW.
One??? Heh, I survived four!
(First Snip)
> Oh. Okay. Root Canal it is. Paid my bill, came home, immediately started
> looking up root canals on the 'net. Note that I did NOT request input
> re: experiences from this lofty forum--I ain't stupid.
Cripes, we coulda WARNED you!
(Second Snip)
> And we begin.
(Third Snip)
> At any rate, there was no pain or discomfort at all. I was even humming
> "City of New Orleans".
>
> Until The Probe.
Ahhhhh! You met Mr. Probe, I see! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
(Fourth Snip)
> This entire period was punctuated with small "nnnnn", "gnaaa!"
> and "ngt!" sounds from The Patient, and "Sorry" responses from Doc.
> Periodically the canals are rinsed with a hypo filled with an
> antibacterial cleansing solution--Clorox!! You haven't lived until you
> smell household bleach in your mouth. (NB: they put a huge latex dental
> dam around the affected tooth so they don't poison you with the bleach.
> Mine was neon green. No, I didn't get to take it home.)
Mine was green and tasted of Dental Horror Mint. (tm)
(Fifth Snip)
> Gutta-percha, a product of tropical tree sap, is inserted into the
> canals, and more tiny bits of same are stuffed in around the g-p sticks.
> This was covered on the websites. What was NOT covered was the fact
> that, after the g-p is gooshed in there, a sealant is applied and then
> Dr. Terror heats up a probe over a butane flame and MELTS this shit into
> your tooth. Smoke and the smell of burnt rubber seep from my mouth--a
> novel sight and sense. No pain, we are still "profoundly numb".
Ahhh... Memories... Actually Mammaries, as the ObDentalAssitant had a
nice rack and managed to keep one tit planted on my cheek most of the
time...Mmmmmmm.
>
> Then a temporary filling containing enough gold to make it a nauseous
> yellow is squerked around in there, I pay my bill, receive a scrip for
> hydrocodone (8 tablets, the cheapskate) and sent on my merry way, to
> return one week hence for creation of a crown. "Pound the ibuprofen!" he
> yelps cheerily, then turns to his next victim.
8? Only FUCKING EIGHT??? Cheap Fucker! I got a script for *20*(10mg)
with a refill!!! Yipeee!!!!
> Felt pretty good until the anesthetic wore off, and my mouth started
> inquiring exactly WHAT I had done to it. Pounded down 800 mg ibuprofen,
> ate supper (Jambalaya), and went to bed. Woke up at 11 pm, tooth singing
> the blues, pounded 800 mg again. Sat up for a few hours, took another
> 200 mg and a hydrocodone. Went to bed at 2 am.
>
> Woke up at 4:45 am, tooth is once again doing it's impresson of The
> Marathon Man, and it's too damn early to take anything. So I'm sharing
> this with you and waiting for 6 am. Maybe not particularly tasteless in
> and of itself, but I'm hoping there are sufficient dental phobics out
> there that I've made some stomachs turn and balls disappear into
> abdomens just from the sheer thought of a root canal.
Dr. GRay sez a nice Bourboun-n-Sprite with the hydrocodone kicks it off
nice. (Note: It may kick you off, PEMANENTLY-as in dead) Your miles may
vary, chimps.
--
GRay-
Take out the trash for mail.
"Welcome to alt-dot-fucking-peeves, where nastiness and personal
attacks are ALWAYS on-topic." G. Belton
Flatus M
wrote:
[drill]
>reported little or no discomfort, and all stressed PROFOUND numbing of
>the tooth. Okay. That's acceptable, since my Dental Professional
>declines to offer nitrous.
This is unacceptable. Your dentist should be replaced instantly. We
have kept the same dentist for twenty years because A) he keeps
industrial size tanks of nitrous in every room, B) he turns his back
so you can "adjust" the knobs on the gas mixer thingy until your brain
floats away on feedback whine, C) he is liberal with drugs, and D) he
is godlike in his skills. My wife has had a mouthful of root canals
from him and never dreads her appointments.
>
>Until The Probe.
What a fucking pig this guy is. Did you confess?
>
>Then a temporary filling containing enough gold to make it a nauseous
>yellow is squerked around in there, I pay my bill, receive a scrip for
>hydrocodone (8 tablets, the cheapskate)
Eight tabs? My wife gets twenty big fat 750mg Vicodins. You were
robbed.
Our Uberdentist removed all four of my wisdom teeth early one morning.
He is a mighty, large man with NFL sized ham hands. He broke my teeth
apart in situ with hideous implements and barely perceptible wrist
movements, then dug them out without destroying gum tissue. He used a
tiny corkscrew to retrieve the nerves and cauterized them (I think).
The only hitch was the pharmacy down the street did not open until
10:00, although the store opened at 9:00. I paced for thirty minutes
feeling various nerves awaken and throb. When the pharmacist appeared
to set up, I encouraged him to open early for me. I think the red
drool spraying and glowing nerves pulsing visibly through my skin did
the trick more than the death threats to his family. After all,
phrases like "Rape and slaughter" come out pretty harmless when your
mouth is full of gory dental tampons.
But I worked that day, and my face did not swell intolorably.
I have heard that dentists have the widest range of diagnoses/charges
of about any health profession. I read that one reporter got estimates
from $750 to repair two teeth to $20,000 for full oral reconstruction
on the same mouth!
!ObT: Clove oil (since you mentioned Marathon Man). Have some around
always. It numbs tooth pain, keeps knife blades sharp, and works very
nice for oral sex (in tiny amounts).
FreeSex
Flatus M <anime...@SPAMtransportlogic.com> wrote in message
news:3899c392....@news.transport.com...
,[Snip] - lots of thread-swerved irrelevance about root canals
> !ObT: Clove oil (since you mentioned Marathon Man). Have some around
Nanookof...@yellowknife.com
wrote:
>Robinson wrote:
>> I am the Survivor of A Root Canal. And oh my friends and neighbors, is
>> it letting me know about it NOW.
>
>
>My RC was virtually painless, but the smoke and stink rising from my
>wedged-open mouth was a shock. What was this, a tiny Dachau in my head?
>
mentioned that one tooth (2-6) felt sorta 'dead', dentist checked it
out, used a funny little electrical proby thing[1], took an X-ray, and
said 'Yup, it's dead. Need a root canal. Something funny on the
X-ray here; I'll send you to the specialist in Edmonton.' Got two
free trips to the big city out of it.
The specialist was very, very surprised. Here he was, roto-rooting
out the three roots, and all sorts of blood and pus and miscellaneous
shit was coming out of there, and he kept asking 'So, this wasn't
causing you any pain?' Nope. Never hurt a lick. The coarser-grade
drill bits were a little skull-shaking, but everything else was fine.
I guess he figured that with that much infection in there, it should
have hurt like a bitch.
And yes, the smoke and stink is quite interesting.
[1] When he touched it to a live tooth, it was exactly like biting on
aluminum foil with a tooth with a metal filling. Even when he touched
it to teeth that didn't have fillings. What he did was, touch to dead
tooth (no reaction), touch it to one neighbour ('Woo!'), touch it to
other neighbour ('Woo!'), touch it to dead tooth again (no reaction).
Cool little toy; wonder how much they cost? Any dental supply
catalogues online?
ObT: We're talking root canals and pus and the smell of burning tooth
enamel, and you want more? Sick bastards....
Robert
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62 27 N 114 22 W (give or take) Politics
is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia. (Orwell)
Man is that he might have joy--not guilt trips. (Elder Russell M. Nelson)
A flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. (Burgess, A Clockwork Orange)
Jeff Justin
>
===== Cut =====
> [1] When he touched it to a live tooth, it was exactly like biting on
> aluminum foil with a tooth with a metal filling. Even when he touched
> it to teeth that didn't have fillings. What he did was, touch to dead
> tooth (no reaction), touch it to one neighbour ('Woo!'), touch it to
> other neighbour ('Woo!'), touch it to dead tooth again (no reaction).
> Cool little toy; wonder how much they cost? Any dental supply
> catalogues online?
===== Cut =====
"Continuity Tester" that's what the oral surgeon I visited
many years ago called it. I had a cracked molar, and the
thing seemed to work on the principle that normal unbroken
tooth is a poor conductor of electricity, while a broken
tooth allows the electricity a direct path to your nerves.
I would have told the state secrets, even made some up, if I
were being tortured with that thing.
BTW, I asked said surgeon how much juice there was in it,
and he told me it was powered by a 9-volt battery.
Cheers,
Jeff Justin
ObT: Had all four wisdoms out at once. Two words for you -
Sodium fucking Pentathol. Had my jaw broken to get the last
one of them. I woke up during that one because of the
yanking the tort^H^H^H^Hdentist was doing. Found myself at
home that afternoon with face swollen and pain like I'd
kissed a baseball bat with my jaw.
Didn't keep me from going to a Hendrix show at Cobo Hall the
next day.
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E. Varden
FreeSex wrote:
Prolly just strangely.
Pe
robf...@my-deja.com
anime...@SPAMtransportlogic.com (Flatus M) wrote:
> On Thu, 03 Feb 2000 05:39:25 -0500, Robinson <rob...@bellsouth.net>
> wrote:
>
> [drill]
>
of
> >the tooth. Okay. That's acceptable, since my Dental Professional
> >declines to offer nitrous.
>
Actually, I've found that finding a dentist you trust to not hurt you
and is very free with the novocaine is worth not having nitrous.
Admittedly, nitrous is a lot of fun, and does have the added effect of
giving the entire experience a decidedly interesting glow.
However, I'd rather having a Dr. Terror I trust to believe me when I
signal madly for for more anesthetic than one that leaves it to the
nitrous to take the edge of inadequate numbing....
So if you're in the Atlanta area, and need a choice dentist, drop me a
line and I'll hook you up with one of the finest tooth-yankers that has
ever stuck his fingers in my mouth....and for the ladies, he's very easy
on the eyes, too.
Lorri
Gnee gna *gnechhk*! (He's the *best*!)
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Before you buy.