Fat People on Airplanes
alex...@mailexcite.com
>Well, it happened again. My husband and I went on vacation and an
>enormous fat person was assigned to the seat next to us.
>Last year, an obese man sat next to my husband. My husband told him
>he could pull the armrest up because he looked so uncomfortable.
>Unfortunately that caused an avalanche of fat to come spilling into
>my husband's seat so I had to put my armrest up and the two of us
>were squashed up against the window for an hour because this guy took
>up 1 1/2 seats.
>Last week we flew to Florida. Guess what? A woman the size of a water
>buffalo (at least 300 - 400 lbs) attempts to sit in the seat next to
>my husband. He, having learned his lesson the first time, refused to
>put his arm rest up. She was so goddamn fat her rear end didn't reach
>the seat and she sat straddling the two arm rests for 3 hours. Her
>arms were so fat her elbows were half in my husband's face so he was
>leaning on me all the way to Orlando to keep away from her. To make
>matters even worse, she was VICIOUSLY GNAWING at her fingers for the
>entire flight (except for time she was eating her lunch). We thought
>she was going to draw blood. (retch puke vomit)
>We needless to say, didn't drink anything on the flight because there
>was no way we'd be able to get around her to get to the lavatory......
>Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
>tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
>size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>into one of the two seats we purchased?
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Alan Gore
>>Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
>>tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
>>size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
>>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>>into one of the two seats we purchased?
At one of my client sites I work with someone who, being of the
nutritionally enhanced pursuasion, has been trying to get the company
to book him Business class on his frequent trips, which are to
locations as far away as Buenos Aires. So far. no luck.
ag...@primenet.com | "Giving money and power to the government
Alan Gore | is like giving whiskey and car keys
Software For PC's | to teenaged boys" - P. J. O'Rourke
http://www.primenet.com/~agore
Andrew Mountford.
so they get upgraded? Maybe at checkin' we weigh the buggers and tape
measure 'em. I'm a big bloke myself but not in the water buffalo class and I
certainley don't spill over into the next seat!
Seriously I sat next to a 'bloater' on a flight once and wondered what
would happen if I had to exit the plane pronto.
Big or not mate the bloater was going down!
Sorry if I've offended anyone.
Alan Gore wrote in message <6s2fj0$76p$3...@nnrp02.primenet.com>...
ti...@sff.net
alex...@mailexcite.com wrote:
> deeb (de...@sea.shore.net) wrote:
> >Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
> >tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
> >size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
> >flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
> >into one of the two seats we purchased?
I've had more problems with gangly people who sit with the knees way apart
than I've had with large people. One fairly slender guy I sat next to
recently spread his right leg into my foot space and took up all the arm rest
with his very long arms. I'm an average sized person with rather broad
shoulders, so the seat's not my problem. It's the placement of the arm
rests. Should the airlines also tell people with broad shoulders or long
legs to buy two seats too?
DanB.
purchase 2 seats due to her size. She got upset, saw an opportunity to
cash in on this, and sued. I believe she was awarded about $400,000,
which she most likely blew on KFC or Burger Kill, instead of getting a lot
of liposuction.
Kim
>>buffalo (at least 300 - 400 lbs) attempts to sit in the seat next to
>>my husband.
they sit next to me on planes with no problems whatsoever.
>>To make
>>matters even worse, she was VICIOUSLY GNAWING at her fingers for the
>>entire flight (except for time she was eating her lunch). We thought
>>she was going to draw blood. (retch puke vomit)
or knuckles when they are nervous.
-- Kim
fungus
>
> Hmm....do you think that there are people out there just piling
> on the Lbs so they get upgraded? Maybe at checkin' we weigh the
> buggers and tape measure 'em.
Too damn right! If take extra luggage they make me pay by poundage
so why not people?
These lardasses are actually dangerous. The reason they weigh
luggage is to adjust the fule the plane needs to carry. If a whole
bunch of fat slobs get on together the 'plane not only has problems
taking off and landing but runs a real risk of running out of fuel
on long haul flights.
> I certainley don't spill over into the next seat!
And how come they always mix greaseglobs and normal people
together? It's always the little guy who suffers in this
situation, *never* the big bucket o'grease sitting next to him.
...and the greasebags never seem to notice that they're spilling
over, not once, *ever*. They just sit there with a big smile on
their multiple chins and ask the stewardess for extra coke like
nothing was wrong.
"Hey! Get back on your side of the armrest!"
"What? Oh, sorry...I do apologise. Here, let me move that out
of your way..."
(2 seconds later)
Plop! ...there it is again...
"Hey, fatso! Get your rubbery arm back on *your* side of the
armrest of I'm gonna puke all over it!"
"What? Oh, ..."
...and so on for the whole fricken flight....
Why don't they put oversize ones together and let them spill
blubber all over each other instead of all over me?
> Sorry if I've offended anyone.
I'm not...
Fat people should be forced to take a bus (or at least pay extra
for special wide-ass sized seats).
deeb
>
>> >Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
>> >tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
>> >size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
>> >flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>> >into one of the two seats we purchased?
>
>than I've had with large people. One fairly slender guy I sat next to
>recently spread his right leg into my foot space and took up all the arm
rest
>with his very long arms. I'm an average sized person with rather broad
>shoulders, so the seat's not my problem. It's the placement of the arm
>rests. Should the airlines also tell people with broad shoulders or long
>legs to buy two seats too?
>
>
>
>-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
>http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
They shouldn't have to - oversized people are well aware of the fact
that they don't fit into coach class airline seats and they should
either book first class or buy 2 coach tickets. It's not fair for
them to buy one coach seat and then push their neighbor out of the
seat next to them.
Andrew Mountford.
ti...@sff.net wrote in message <6s3h3c$tl$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
>In article <6s244c$fk5$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,
> alex...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>> deeb (de...@sea.shore.net) wrote:
>>than I've had with large people. One fairly slender guy I sat next to
>recently spread his right leg into my foot space and took up all the arm
rest
>with his very long arms. I'm an average sized person with rather broad
>shoulders, so the seat's not my problem. It's the placement of the arm
>rests. Should the airlines also tell people with broad shoulders or long
>legs to buy two seats too?
>
Damn right tape measure 'em at check in; too tall, cut the bloody legs off,
long arms sit at the back in the freak section.
That's it got it, "Freak Class" for all the odd shaped people; stick em at
the back of the plane, behind a thick curtain so we don't have to look at
'em. Have all the weird fat, tall, lanky wankers in one space where they can
irritate each other!
Do realy fat bloaters look at even fatter bloaters and think...'Man do you
look like shit, what did you think getting ready this morning?'
Just wondered.
Dennis Metcalfe
<snip>
>They shouldn't have to - oversized people are well aware of the fact
>that they don't fit into coach class airline seats and they should
>either book first class or buy 2 coach tickets. It's not fair for
>them to buy one coach seat and then push their neighbor out of the
>seat next to them.
For frequent flyers, you are correct but I suspect there are some very
large people who almost never fly and have no idea they will have
problems until they board.
Seems like airlines should say something when reservations are made
... plus, there ought to be a way to divide a bank of three seats
into two seats so the nutritionally enhanced folks only have to buy
one and a half tickets instead of two. This would have the
additional benefit of sitting such people together.
If someone cannot fit into a seat properly, they should be moved (away
from me) or denied the right to board... I should not have to suffer
because of their inconsideration.
Now, what do we do about people with excessive perfume or horrible
body odors?
Dennis Metcalfe
The Furnicator
> Do realy fat bloaters look at even fatter bloaters and think...'Man do you
>look like shit, what did you think getting ready this morning?'
>
> Just wondered.
>
>
No, but the next time you're sitting next to one and the blubber starts to
jiggle it's probably because he's laughing at the hostile git next to him!
Roberta Hatch
>> Why should we spend the
>>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>>into one of the two seats we purchased?
Probably because God hates you. But that's just a guess.
Bobbi
---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
Bill
> alex...@mailexcite.com wrote:
>
> >>Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
> >>tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
> >>size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
> >>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
> >>into one of the two seats we purchased?
>
There was a guy in my government agency that was in the 350lb class. He
was an engineer and he traveled to Europe a lot. The gov did not buy him
a business class or first class seat but they did buy him two seats in
coach
every time he traveled.
On one of my trips for the gov, I was escorting an atomic clock. The clock
had to ride in a first class seat, and I was right beside it.
Rob
Prabbit
> Damn right tape measure 'em at check in; too tall, cut the bloody legs off,
>long arms sit at the back in the freak section.
> That's it got it, "Freak Class" for all the odd shaped people; stick em at
>the back of the plane,
Fuck THAT. Stick em in the cargo hold.
-P
Stan Horwitz
: I've had more problems with gangly people who sit with the knees way apart
: than I've had with large people. One fairly slender guy I sat next to
: recently spread his right leg into my foot space and took up all the arm rest
: with his very long arms. I'm an average sized person with rather broad
: shoulders, so the seat's not my problem. It's the placement of the arm
: rests. Should the airlines also tell people with broad shoulders or long
: legs to buy two seats too?
If this happened to me, I would have simply said, "excuse me, please move
over". If that didn't work, I would complain to one of the attendants.
Paul Gensheimer
<sp...@egg.chips.and.spam.com> writes:
|> Too damn right! If take extra luggage they make me pay by poundage
|> so why not people?
|>
|> These lardasses are actually dangerous. The reason they weigh
|> luggage is to adjust the fule the plane needs to carry. If a whole
|> bunch of fat slobs get on together the 'plane not only has problems
|> taking off and landing but runs a real risk of running out of fuel
|> on long haul flights.
Gee, you say that like it's a bad thing. What's your point?
|> Why don't they put oversize ones together and let them spill
|> blubber all over each other instead of all over me?
Because they want to annoy the hell out of you?
HTH
paulg
-----
Proud Charter Member of the Cult of the Frivolous Lawsuit
Paul Gensheimer
<troi...@aol.com> writes:
|> Troll, Troll, Troll, Troll
Naw, you got it wrong. It goes like this:
Troll, troll, troll your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Lenore's about to scream
Chris Blaise
>>>To make
>>>matters even worse, she was VICIOUSLY GNAWING at her fingers for the
>>>entire flight (except for time she was eating her lunch). We thought
>>>she was going to draw blood. (retch puke vomit)
>
>Or maybe she was nervous about flying.LOTS of people chew on fingernails
>or knuckles when they are nervous.
No, I'm pretty sure she was hungry. Lardasses can't go 2
minutes without shoving things down their mouths like quarts of ice
cream or double-quarter pounders.
Speaking of which, am I the only one annoyed by people who
bring food on the plane? I'm not talking about a package of M&Ms or
even a coffee. Last summer, I flew from Burlington and a family of
four brought on what I swear were four nearly complete meals from
Nectars.
In my mind, that's on the same level of discourtsy as the
assholes who try to bring aboard suitcases the size of Buicks or even
fucking SKIS! Mother of Christ, how can any person with a straight
face jusitify skis as carryon?
Yet more evidence that our society, by dispensing with
common-sense social graces, is sliding gently like a greased turd out
the anus of a lardass into the shit-stained bowl of anarchy. The only
entertainment is the musical accompaniement and look of strain on the
face.
Chris
Clavius
<...>
> Speaking of which, am I the only one annoyed by people who
>bring food on the plane?
<...>
Or bringing their other personal problems onto the plane, too? I was on a
flight back to Seattle from Minneapolis a couple of weeks ago, and some
genetic test case had an allergy to nuts. Not just any simple allergy, mind
you, but to the extent that *none* of the rest of the passengers were
allowed to eat nuts of any kind during the entire flight.
Normally I wouldn't have cared so much, but Minneapolis is the home of
Pearson's Candy Co., makers of the infamous Salted Nut Roll, which I adore,
and had a pocket full of, and was ready to enjoy at just that moment.
ObT: I was *sincerely* tempted to munch up one of those nut rolls anyway and
exhale in her direction, just to watch her twitch and swell up. Woulda been
pretty cool, I bet.
Jim
And cathartic. Get a fuckin' allergy shot, already.
David Schmitt
<35e574e9...@news.flatoday.infi.net>...
[most of post put on standby...]
> Now, what do we do about people with excessive perfume or horrible
> body odors?
Fart. Often.
ObRemember: The "I saw you tilt!" airplane story.
--
KSW92.93 -- Better living through microwave radiation
Articulate Mandible
>deeb (de...@sea.shore.net) wrote:
>
>>> Why should we spend the
>>>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>>>into one of the two seats we purchased?
>
Bobbi, you bulbous bitch, if you'd lose a hundred pounds or so,
you wouldn't be so sensitive to comments like that.
--
Stop casting porosity, damnit!
Just for Geoff: Price Club and Costco have merged
Lincard 1000
>I think Kimmy here is a tad on the fat side. Tell the truth now kim,
>during sex has your partner every had to dip you in flour and look for
>the wet spot or will any fold suffice?
Slap a thigh and ride the next wave in...
ObFat: Saw an accident a few years back where some fat freak was
jaywalking across a busy street. She was hit by a smallish car... the
sad thing is she got up and walked away. The car had to be towed :-(
---->
"Mmmm, arent I lucky, I got a chunky bit..."
<----
lincard(at)ihug(dot)co(dot)nz
---->
The Carrot
sp...@egg.chips.and.spam.com says...
>These lardasses are actually dangerous. The reason they weigh
>luggage is to adjust the fule the plane needs to carry. If a whole
>bunch of fat slobs get on together the 'plane not only has problems
>taking off and landing but runs a real risk of running out of fuel
>on long haul flights.
Exactly! There is an advantage, though, to traveling with porkers. If by
chance you should run out of fuel and end up stuck in the mountains somewhere
like that spic soccer team, everybody would know who was going to be meal
choice #1. Christ, the last fat bastard who was seated next to ne (I was on
the aisle, thank God, and I made sure I farted in his general direction every
chance I got, it was the only way to mask the cheesy reek emanating from the
his body) would've fed an entire cannibal tribe for a year, maybe more if
they smoked his oversized thighs and stored 'em somewhere where the midnight
snackers in the tribe couldn't get their hands on the yummy^H^Hleftovers.
If they made me head of the FAA what *I* would mandate (other than having the
stewardesses supply ample and pleasing blowjobs for the flightcrew and
visiting FAA commisioner) would be to allow the baggage clerks, at their
discretion, to have these lardasses climb onto the baggage scale so the
groundcrew would be able to adjust the amount of onboard fuel prior to
takeoff. Face it, it'd really suck to be on final approach to O'Hare and run
out of gas because one of your traveling companions has a cheeseburger and
hot fudge sundae addiction.
"And no, Miss, I don't really give a shit if you tell me it's a "glandular
disorder", get your lard-laden feet on the scale or you ain't going to
Poughkeepsie..."
As an added bonus, the sight of these folks being weighed would provide
entertainment for those of us waiting to check in, improving our moods
substantially while waiting for the agent to send our baggage to somewhere in
the vicinity of Kampuchea. Maybe they could even start a pool and the
passenger who guesses the correct weight of El-Lardo gets a free drink or
something...Wait! Even better! The person who correctly guesses the fat
passenger's weight gets Fatso's inflight meal! Two birds in one stone!
I mean, would it be weight discrimination if the safety of the other
passengers was at risk?
- The Carrot
--
"You're sick." - my mother, after discovering DejaNews.
Adrian
> <snip>
> Seems like airlines should say something when reservations are made
> ... plus, there ought to be a way to divide a bank of three seats
> into two seats so the nutritionally enhanced folks only have to buy
> one and a half tickets instead of two. This would have the
> additional benefit of sitting such people together.
>
> If someone cannot fit into a seat properly, they should be moved (away
> from me) or denied the right to board... I should not have to suffer
> because of their inconsideration.
>
> Now, what do we do about people with excessive perfume or horrible
> body odors?
>
Aren't they there to serve drinks and demonstrate emergancy procedures?
> Dennis Metcalfe
Adrian
Roberta Hatch
> ti...@sff.net says...
>>>>Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
>>>>tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
>>>>size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
>>>>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>>>>into one of the two seats we purchased?
>>I've had more problems with gangly people who sit with the knees way apart
>>than I've had with large people. One fairly slender guy I sat next to
>>recently spread his right leg into my foot space and took up all the arm
>>rest with his very long arms.
What did the length of his arm have to do with taking up all
of the arm rest? Arm rests are usually shared by people placing their
arms side by side, not one arm in front of another. It's not that
difficult to figure out.
>>I'm an average sized person with rather
>>broad shoulders, so the seat's not my problem. It's the placement of
>>the arm rests. ...
The placement of the arm rests?! Where do you think they
should be placed? The last time I checked, they were placed above
the sides of the seat, and that's where I think they should placed.
>They shouldn't have to - oversized people are well aware of the fact
>that they don't fit into coach class airline seats and they should
>either book first class or buy 2 coach tickets. It's not fair for
>them to buy one coach seat and then push their neighbor out of the
>seat next to them.
My complaint is the idiots that think their children
should be tolerated. On one flight I took, some little brat
screamed from the moment he boarded, until the plane finally
took off. Mom and her little brats should have been told to
get off and take a bus to their destination. Of course I
had to pay full fare, but the brats got a discount.
Then there are, infants. Do they even have to pay
fare? No, they share mom's seat. They also crap in their
diapers and cry. Nothing quite like trying to enjoy a drink
or eat a meal while the aroma of baby shit is passing through
your nostril hairs. Of course that is supposed to be tolerated
too. Well, little mommy how about if I shit my pants while
you're trying to eat and we'll see how you like it.
No kids should be allowed on planes that even remotly
look like they'll throw temper tantrums, cry or crap their
pants. No ifs, ands or buts, period.
Paul Gensheimer
(The Carrot) writes:
|> "And no, Miss, I don't really give a shit if you tell me it's a "glandular
|> disorder", get your lard-laden feet on the scale or you ain't going to
|> Poughkeepsie..."
|>
|> As an added bonus, the sight of these folks being weighed would provide
|> entertainment for those of us waiting to check in, improving our moods
Especially if the scale were large enough that everyone
could read it from the other side of the concourse. A
nice touch would be if the scale also audibly called out
the weight of the individual on the scales; and for added
entertainment, the volume could be set to get louder as
the weight on the scale increased.
Podkayne Fries
Metcalfe) wrote:
[...]
>
>Now, what do we do about people with excessive perfume or horrible
>body odors?
Toss 'em out the window.
--
Regards, Podkayne Fries
Remember - every time you redirect spam to
Postmaster@host, an angel gets its wings.
Andrew Mountford.
Chris Blaise wrote in message <35e5bc2f...@news.randori.com>...
>On Thu, 27 Aug 98 07:55:43 EDT, 2132...@msu.edu (Kim) wrote:
>assholes who try to bring aboard suitcases the size of Buicks or even
>fucking SKIS! Mother of Christ, how can any person with a straight
>face jusitify skis as carryon?
>
> Yet more evidence that our society, by dispensing with
>common-sense social graces, is sliding gently like a greased turd out
>the anus of a lardass into the shit-stained bowl of anarchy. The only
>entertainment is the musical accompaniement and look of strain on the
>face.
>
> Chris
I was on a flight to Qingdao from HK; middle seat of 3 on an A320; the girl
in front of me starts eating dried cuttlefish 5 minutes after take off (what
a smell!), the old woman next to me (window) pulls down the blind, lies
across the tray table and goes into a slobbery sleep, the guy next to me
starts picking the crud from between his teeth and inspecting it; the old
guy across the aisle (very old mailand Chinese) starts hurckling up phlegm
and spitting into the aisle!
It was a three hour flight, so what to do?
I drank an awful lot of red wine......
Eunice Stephens
spilling over their seat. I myself have been a victim numerous times, being
a small female. But what about body odor? I was boarding UA844 TPE-SFO
when an older guy with B.O. was seated next to me. I almost panicked
thinking I'd spend the next 11 hours next to this guy. The plane was rather
full and I didn't think the FA would be able to move me elsewhere. Besides
how do I word this situation to the FA? "Please reseat me, this guy has
B.O."? Thankfully an hour after takeoff this guys daughter many many rows
in front of us found an empty seat near them and moved the guy.
What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole flight?
Eunice
nos...@net.com
>ObT: I was *sincerely* tempted to munch up one of those nut rolls anyway and
>exhale in her direction, just to watch her twitch and swell up. Woulda been
>pretty cool, I bet.
>
Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
Kim
>>they sit next to me on planes with no problems whatsoever.
>I think Kimmy here is a tad on the fat side. Tell the truth now kim,
>during sex has your partner every had to dip you in flour and look for
>the wet spot or will any fold suffice?
If I *was* very heavy, wouldn't it lend credibility to my assertion that
even very heavy people can travel without having to buy two seats?
Nobody is *comfortable* in an airline seat. If you want two seats,
you should pay for them. Heck, I'm more comfortable if I have 3 seats
and can stretch out for a nap. But if I want 'em assured to me, I
will have to pay for them.
-- Kim
Stan Horwitz
: I can certainly understand how people feel about overweight passenger
I would have looked for another seat. If another seat wasn't available, then
I might plug my nostrels up with tissue paper to force myself to breath through
my mouth and not smell the aromatic passenger next to me.
Mihir Shah
>even a coffee. Last summer, I flew from Burlington and a family of
>four brought on what I swear were four nearly complete meals from
>Nectars.
I didn't want to join this thread, but I have to respond to this one.
Anyone who's travelled in short-to-midrange domestic flights knows that
meals are practically a "luxury" nowadays. A recent poster in r.t.a only
got peanuts/pretzels and a drink on a flight from Salt Lake to Portland, OR,
and that was in FIRST CLASS! Now, image the thousands of souls each day
that have to connect planes once or twice between short-to-midrange flights
with no meals. People can go literally hours with only a few nuts or chips
and a few ounces of beverage diluted in ice (this is not an exaggeration,
either). For example, take the unfortunate soul who wants to fly from
Presque Isle, ME to Roanoke, VA. This isn't a terribly long route, but is
too long for many people to drive. However, it requires two connections on
US Airways. A typical itinerary has one leaving from Presque Isle at
6:55am, and arriving at Roanoke at 1:09pm, with connections in Boston and
Pittsburgh. Transfer times at BOS and PIT are 54 and 61 minutes,
respectively, as airlines are now trying to minimize connection times for
efficiency. I challenge anyone to get more than a slize of Sbarro pizza and
a drink and still make their flights on time. On the flights themselves,
there are NO meals whatsover on this or any other PQI-ROA itinerary, except
for one or two PIT-ROA segments that have a "snack" in first class only.
Sorry for the long, drawn out example, but the point is that there are many
passeners who would simply go hungry for hours. In this day in age of long
commuter flights (which virtually NEVER have real meals), short connection
times at fortress hubs, and 2 hour flights without meals, I personally don't
mind people bringing their own food onto flights. Besides, why should I
mind a person sitting next to me eating a meal that in at least some cases
should have been provided by the airline?
fungus
>
> I didn't want to join this thread
Yeah, right..
>
> Anyone who's travelled in short-to-midrange domestic flights
> knows that meals are practically a "luxury" nowadays. A recent
> poster in r.t.a only got peanuts/pretzels and a drink on a flight
> from Salt Lake to Portland, OR, and that was in FIRST CLASS!.
> People can go literally hours with only a few nuts or chips
> and a few ounces of beverage diluted in ice
Maybe it's a subtle attempt by the airlines to slim down a few of
the fat bast^H^H^H^H^H^H^H "wider" passengers we mentioned earlier
in this thread...
> I personally don't mind people bringing their own food onto
> flights.
Neither do I. In fact, I'm sure I could do a lot better for myself
if I brought my own stuff instead of being forced to eat the junk
airlines serve up. Airports could probably make a decent business
out of selling decent carry-on food at reasonable prices.
--
<\___/>
/ O O \
\_____/ FTB.
Citizen Ted
>"Please reseat me, this guy has
>B.O."? Thankfully an hour after takeoff this guys daughter many many rows
>in front of us found an empty seat near them and moved the guy.
>What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole flight?
If the odor was absolutely unbearable and no seats available, I'd fake
an epileptic seizure.
I've seen a few, and I've been mocking spastic/epileptics since I was
10. I even convinced a park ranger I was having a genuine fit. It was
in a local park, and my friends felt my act was so good I could easily
trick the ranger. I did. He called the cops. I got up and ran. He
cursed after me, but could not catch me. Fat bastard!
At any rate, study the involuntary spasticity of MS and CP patients.
Note the bony, frozen wrists; the awkward elbows, inturned feet and
stiff legs; the swaying, quivering hands and exaggerated blinking.
Practice your spaz act in the mirror. You'll be amazed at what a
retard you can really be!
Then, when the time is right, explode in a cavalcade of screams and
hoots, your eyes rolling up in back of your head, spittle flying out
of your mouth, your stiff arms spastically waving in all directions,
etc.
Within 20 seconds you'll have the entire airline staff at your beck
and call. As you slowly come around, explain that you need room and
would prefer to sit in one of the attendant's little "wall-chairs" in
back.
Additionally, Mr. Stink-O will be be glad to see you go. He may even
insist that you be reseated!
Viola! A safe and stink-free trip into Atlanta is yours!
- TR
- "fluthuthanuhwEeEeE! hearnt! Glaaaahhhhhhxxxccccccch!
Roberta Hatch
Works for me, peanut-boy.
Ever since I read that whine about peanuts on planes,
I make it a point to bring a can of Planter's peanuts and one
of those paper painter's masks with me when I fly.
One of these days someone is going to whine to the
stewardess about the peanuts and I'm just going to hand her
the mask and say: "Here, give him this and tell him to stop
whining. And, I want it back after we land. And, I want
it back clean. And, be sure to tell him to bring his own
next time."
If they ever have the nerve to tell me I can't eat
the peanuts, I'll take a handful into the bathrooms crush
them on the floor and scatter the bits. That should provide
an amusing moment if the whiner decides to take a dump and
croaks while he's on the pot.
Of course there's always the chance he'll notice
the crushed peanuts and have to decide between shitting
his pants or croaking. That'd be funny too.
Bobbi
---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bike, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
Tina Marie
>Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
No, it would suck. Airlines _will_ deviate if there is a seriously
ill person on board, and then you'd be late getting wherever you're
going.
Tina Marie
--
An apostrophe does not mean, "Look out! Here comes an 's'!"
skydiver * PP-ASEL * http://www.neosoft.com/~tina
A. Sears
much earlier in this thread. The folks on alt.tasteless have no
interest in the topic of meals on planes, until said meals are barfed
back up into a wax-lined bag which is then popped in a stewardess'
face.>
Mihir Shah wrote:
>
> > Speaking of which, am I the only one annoyed by people who
> >bring food on the plane? I'm not talking about a package of M&Ms or
> >even a coffee. Last summer, I flew from Burlington and a family of
> >four brought on what I swear were four nearly complete meals from
> >Nectars.
>
> I challenge anyone to get more than a slize of Sbarro pizza and
> a drink and still make their flights on time.
>
> In this day in age of long
> commuter flights .... I personally don't
> mind people bringing their own food onto flights. Besides, why should I
> mind a person sitting next to me eating a meal that in at least some cases
> should have been provided by the airline?
I think what's inconsiderate is the *choice* of food that some people
bring on to a plane. Like the previous poster said, light snacks are no
big deal. I personally wouldn't mind if they brought on a few
Nutritional Food Bars (tm), a "to go" salad, or a Subway sandwich.
... Or at least a Subway sandwich without onions on it. You see, what
peeves me about folks who bring food on to planes is when they bring
food that stinks up the cabin within a 30-foot radius, and eat it right
under my nose. My first introduction to this was on a United Shuttle
flight from San Diego to San Francisco, on which the mother next to me
broke out two burritos, wrapped up "to go", for herself and her spawn.
The stench of the beans, onions, salsa, and guacamole was overpowering.
So, in the interest of consideration for fellow passengers, and with
tongue only partially in cheek, might I make a few suggestions about
foods that are OK to bring on planes and eat next to other passengers
without stinking up the stale cabin air any further:
GOOD BAD
---- ---
Apples, Plums Bananas, Oranges
Nutritional Food Bar(tm) Burrito
Turkey sandwich (no onions) Reuben (extra sauerkraut)
Potato chips Funyuns, Barbecue Lay's
Garden salad (ranch dressing) Kim chee
Bagel with cream cheese Bagel with kippered sardines
Crackers and Gouda Crackers and Limburger
Thermos of chicken soup Thermos of chili
... I hope these exampes are sufficient.
Or, as a general rule of thumb, you could simply say that any food that
you can taste in a belch an hour later should probably not be eaten in a
confined space with others.
HTH.
Chris Blaise
wrote:
>[Whine about length of flights and not getting meals deleted]
As someone who flies several 6-8 hour flights a year, I take a
very revolutionary approach to eating and flying:
Ready?
Here it goes...
I FUCKING EAT BEFORE I GET ON THE PLANE!
Strange as this may sound, I actually make time to eat a part
of my planning for the flight. So, I can either eat a meal at HOME,
at a restuarant NEAR THE AIRPORT, or if I'm feeling particularily lazy
and spendy, AT THE AIRPORT ITSELF!
When one's stomach is full, a 6-8 hour itinerary with only a
few snacks is no more hellish than the entire experience of flying
already is. When you're done, then you can find a restuarant at your
point of destination and go to town. How hard is that?
> I challenge anyone to get more than a slize of Sbarro pizza and
>a drink and still make their flights on time.
To quote a recent episode of South Park:
"Christ, are you people diabetic?!"
A slice of pizza and a drink during a stop in between an 8
hour flight is plenty of fucking food...unless you're a lardass
compulsive eater (to return to the original topic of the thread). Do
you really need to sit down in a restuarant for an hour to eat? Of
course not.
IF you do need more food during the course of a flight than
the provided snacks, then bring your own! SNACKS. Like candy bars,
or dried fruit, or gorp. Not cheeseburgers, foot-long grinders, or
salads.
There's no reason, other than to be inconsiderate and rude, to
bring a full course meal onto an airplane.
Chris
Chris Blaise
(Lincard 1000) wrote:
>ObFat: Saw an accident a few years back where some fat freak was
>jaywalking across a busy street. She was hit by a smallish car... the
>sad thing is she got up and walked away. The car had to be towed :-(
Christ, that's right out of Pulp Fiction. Did the driver and
the cellulite-enhanced individual go at each other with pistols?
Chris
Bill
> If the odor was absolutely unbearable and no seats available, I'd fake
> an epileptic seizure.
> Within 20 seconds you'll have the entire airline staff at your beck
> and call. As you slowly come around, explain that you need room and
> would prefer to sit in one of the attendant's little "wall-chairs" in
> back.
>
Yeah and you would most likely be in violation of some federal law
aboutinterferring with an airline and endangering all the passengers and it would
be worth about 10 big ones in the slammer.
Look what can happen to you now days just for saying bomb out loud in
and airport or on a plane.
I have been a high mileage frequent flyer for the last 18 years and always
fly up front and I have had my share of assholes complaining about the person
beside them and then getting reseated up front. It is usually the asshole doing
all the farting. Come to think of it. It is always the asshole farting. I don't
know
of any other way to fart.
The tough one is when you see some astounding chick that you lust for and
try to get seated beside her. No way. They always have some old matron out
of a Wagner opera sitting beside her.
Dave/Kristin Hall
: There's no reason, other than to be inconsiderate and rude, to
: bring a full course meal onto an airplane.
OK, I'm confused. Why is it inconsiderate or rude to bring a full
course meal onto an airplane *provided* that it isn't something that
is likely to spill/make a mess and isn't overly large (IE, a cheeseburger
from Wendy's isn't going to cause an overstuffed overhead storage
compartment.).
Personally, I too make many trips per year.
Personally, I too eat before I get on the plane.
But I've never been offended in the slightest when the person next to
me breaks out something to eat. Why is this so evil?
OBTasteless: Whilst checking out some smut websites the other day I saw
one with a menu. The choices? Water Sports, Scat, BDSM, Cross-Dressing,
and Bizarre. I had to ask myself, if those other categories are normal,
what in the fuck is bizarre!? Sadly, I didn't have the AVS service
appropriate so I am left wondering...
--
David Hall
Propulsion Performance Office (Code 4732H0D)
Naval Air Warfare Center - Weapons Division
China Lake, CA 93555
Roberta Hatch
>Chris Blaise wrote in message <35e5bc2f...@news.randori.com>...
>> Speaking of which, am I the only one annoyed by people who
>>bring food on the plane? I'm not talking about a package of M&Ms or
>>even a coffee. Last summer, I flew from Burlington and a family of
>>four brought on what I swear were four nearly complete meals from
>>Nectars.
>I didn't want to join this thread, but I have to respond to this one.
Couldn't help yourself, eh.
>Anyone who's travelled in short-to-midrange domestic flights knows that
>meals are practically a "luxury" nowadays.
Err, I think the poster was talking full dinners, not a
Big Mac, fries and a milkshake.
I still remember my flight though Hell. One lazy prick
thought he deserved two overhead compartments for all of his
so-called carry-on. One being where my real carry-on had to be
stored. I made sure his suit got creased when I crammed my bag
into the compartment. Yes, he was pissed, but he was seated
a good five rows back and it wasn't the comaprtment he was
supposed to be using.
Satan's sister was seated two rows forward of me. One
of her evil spawn threw a temper tantrum for a good 15-minutes.
The brat was running up and down the asile, screaming and crying.
Some space cadet on the other side of the aisle brought
three containers of take-out zipperhead chow and ate it with
chopsticks -- what a mess. I do have to admit it was amusing
wacthing him eat, but I doubt he needed that much food for a
flight from San Jose to San Diego.
>A recent poster in r.t.a only
>got peanuts/pretzels and a drink on a flight from Salt Lake to Portland, OR,
>and that was in FIRST CLASS!
I'll wager he almost starved to death becuase the airline
didn't serve him a meal. Poor boy.
>Now, image the thousands of souls each day
>that have to connect planes once or twice between short-to-midrange flights
>with no meals.
I can image "thousands of souls" that are foolish enough
not to eat a meal before they take their flight, or not bring a
sandwich or two with them to the airport. Airports aren't the
only places on this planet that sell food.
>People can go literally hours with only a few nuts or chips
No kidding?! I go for hours between meals, without snacks.
Of course, I'm not a complusive eater.
>... I challenge anyone to get more than a slize of Sbarro pizza and
>a drink and still make their flights on time.
I challenge everyone that thinks they might starve to death
on their flight(s), to use their brains and brown-bag it. Bring your
carry-on food with you to the airport. If you do that, others may
be spared hearing you whine.
>Sorry for the long, drawn out example, but the point is that there are many
>passeners who would simply go hungry for hours.
Stupid people deserve to be hungry.
ObTravelTip: Always remember to bring a 100-dollar bill with you.
Drinks are expensive on planes and they never seem to
be able, or even want to break a C-note. Once they
give you the drinks, it's too late to take them back.
They always ask me, "Do you have anything smaller?"
I always knowingly smile and answer, "No." If I can
score two free drinks every time I fly, so can you!
Bobbi
---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
Nova Scotia's First Law Corporation
> I think what's inconsiderate is the *choice* of food that some people
> bring on to a plane. Like the previous poster said, light snacks are no
> big deal. I personally wouldn't mind if they brought on a few
> Nutritional Food Bars (tm), a "to go" salad, or a Subway sandwich.
I've told this story before, but my favourite was the dude who got on board a NW
flight with a giant slurpee, bag o'chips and two chili dogs on a flight from DET
to NOL. Turns out he was a FA training officer for NW. He knew whereof he
acted!
Nova Scotia's First Law Corporation
> "Eunice Stephens" <cera...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
> >"Please reseat me, this guy has
> >B.O."? Thankfully an hour after takeoff this guys daughter many many rows
> >in front of us found an empty seat near them and moved the guy.
>
> >What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole flight?
Caught an FA near the opposite end of the plane, and explained the situation,
unless the flight was completely full. Had him/her come up with something like,
"sir, there's a seat in the row ahead of your cousin/girlfriend/business
associate and he/she/it was wondering if you could join." After having endured
YYZ - YVR several years ago crushed in my seat next to someone who was both
obese AND smelly, I have no compunctions about this. Mind you, I would probably
still draw the line at grabbing the FA's arm from the seat and saying, "excuse
me, this guy reeks, can you put me in the baggage compartment or the loo or
something?" There are almost always solutions...as my Cuban friends would say,
"resolver los problemos" and "inventar los soluciones."
Nova Scotia's First Law Corporation
> ObTravelTip: Always remember to bring a 100-dollar bill with you.
> Drinks are expensive on planes and they never seem to
> be able, or even want to break a C-note. Once they
> give you the drinks, it's too late to take them back.
> They always ask me, "Do you have anything smaller?"
> I always knowingly smile and answer, "No." If I can
> score two free drinks every time I fly, so can you!
Doesn't work on AC where by the end of the service, they have so damned much
money (since drinks are so expensive...but they graciously accept US dollars AT
PAR...anything to convenience the pax) they can make change in loonies and
toonies.
Better to offer pounds sterling, Bolivars, even Francs or Deutschmarks (assuming
the flight doesn't originate or terminate in Britain, Venezuela, France or
Germany)..."oh, I just came from / am going to there, and I'm afraid I don't
have any Canadian or US currency. Do you take Visa?"
Nova Scotia's First Law Corporation
> Neither do I. In fact, I'm sure I could do a lot better for myself
> if I brought my own stuff instead of being forced to eat the junk
> airlines serve up. Airports could probably make a decent business
> out of selling decent carry-on food at reasonable prices.
I thought airline food already was carrion!
Paul Gensheimer
<cera...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
|> What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole flight?
Puked.
HTH
Robinson
>
> de...@sea.shore.net (deeb) writes:
> >
> >They shouldn't have to - oversized people are well aware of the fact
> >that they don't fit into coach class airline seats and they should
> >either book first class or buy 2 coach tickets. It's not fair for
> >them to buy one coach seat and then push their neighbor out of the
> >seat next to them.
I have to break in here. I flew on USSneer from Atlanta to Albany, NY
this past May--a friend accompanied me who is a person of great bulk
(maybe 300 lbs). We had no trouble on that plane (I don't remember what
kind it was), seats seemed to fit fine. We did lift that arm rest, but I
didn't care--this was a friend. She would have fit fine with it down,
but we're talking 4 more inches of comfort.
Now on the trip back, we flew AirCramp (formerly ValuBlech), and the
seats seemed much smaller--I'm not Gigantor, but I'm not a size 3 either
(alright you perves, I'm 5'9" and weigh 150 lbs. Muscle with enough
squishy to make me ever so much fun--or so the TLH says.) *I* was
feeling a bit squished--I know my friend was. And this is a person who
does NOT have to ask for the seat belt extender.
Seems to me that a person that will fit the regular seatbelt has a right
to extrapolate that the friggin SEAT will fit, as well!! And how can you
"know" that a single seat won't fit, when on one plane there's plenty of
room and on another you're packed like sardines? Oh, and neither one of
us flies enough to know the diff between a DC-9 and a 727.
>
> My complaint is the idiots that think their children
> should be tolerated.
>
> No kids should be allowed on planes that even remotly
> look like they'll throw temper tantrums, cry or crap their
> pants. No ifs, ands or buts, period.
>
Not only do they get a discount, or fly free in the female's lap, but
THEY GET TO FUCKIN BOARD FIRST!! And do they do it in an orderly,
efficient manner? FUCK no! They start herding the rest of the passengers
on board, and there's Mumsy blocking the aisle, trying to stow the didie
bag, the box o' toys, the bag o' crayons, every frigging thing the
devil's spawn screamed to bring with on the trip. And does she move, or
even apologize? Forget that, because these types are invariably the ones
who think their minor contribution to genetic drift is an Unalloyed
Miracle Of Life, and everyone else must put their needs second whilst
those of the Holy Fruit Of Their Loins is catered to in every respect.
These are the ones I want to see sucked out of a cabin window during an
accidental loss of cabin pressure. Or, when the oxygen masks drop, run
up and jerk it out of it's attachment before the parental unit can
"adjust" it on their sprog. Or even better, offer to adjust it for
them--around their throats and tighten.
Yeah, I know, I have a kid of my own. But I still hate the little
bastards. (Oh, and no, my son was not considered The Ultimate In Human
Reproduction. He was considered my son but Everyone Else's Potential
Annoyance--and taught to behave in public so he wouldn't be.)
Lorri
Jesus, it's hot
Robinson
last part of this post)
Dave/Kristin Hall wrote:
>
> Chris Blaise (chris-@-blaise-.-com) wrote:
> : There's no reason, other than to be inconsiderate and rude, to
> : bring a full course meal onto an airplane.
>
> OK, I'm confused. Why is it inconsiderate or rude to bring a full
> course meal onto an airplane *provided* that it isn't something that
> is likely to spill/make a mess and isn't overly large (IE, a cheeseburger
> from Wendy's isn't going to cause an overstuffed overhead storage
> compartment.).
>
>
Or do what I do--I always fly the cheap cattle call airlines where you
have to check in an hour before departure. So I stop at a fast food
place (Krystal, mmmmm), get dinner, check in, and sit watching the
airplanes take off and eat.
>
> OBTasteless: Whilst checking out some smut websites the other day I saw
> one with a menu. The choices? Water Sports, Scat, BDSM, Cross-Dressing,
> and Bizarre. I had to ask myself, if those other categories are normal,
> what in the fuck is bizarre!? Sadly, I didn't have the AVS service
> appropriate so I am left wondering...
>
I've been to that site when they were offering free previews. Stuff like
achondrocephalic dwarves fucking pre-op transsexuals, women cramming boa
constrictors up the cooze, some guy with 2 dicks fucking two bearded
dwarf women (it was either bifurcated or a fake).....that sort of thing.
Lorri
Oh my god, am I really that jaded?
Tina Marie
Robinson <rob...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>room and on another you're packed like sardines? Oh, and neither one of
>us flies enough to know the diff between a DC-9 and a 727.
It doesn't matter if you know the difference between every type
of plane used for commercial transportation in the world - that's
not what determines seat size.
The airlines tell the aircraft company how many seats (within limits,
of course) to put in when they order the plane.
So 2 Boeing 757's can have radically differently sized seats, depending
on what airline they belong to....
docfa...@yahoo.com
> Mihir Shah wrote:
> >
> > > Speaking of which, am I the only one annoyed by people who
> > >bring food on the plane?
>
Probably not. There's a lotta people that should've been claimed by Unca Chuck
but weren't, for various reasons. You just happen to be one of those who can't
understand 'Natural Selection' when it applies to you.
Die, now.
Stop asking for special exemptions, because you are descended from inferior
genes. Or learn to adapt. Every other life-form on this planet has faced the
same choice.
What makes you special?
docfarquar
ObT: Personal exemptions.
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Stesal
>
> Roberta Hatch wrote:
> > Oh, and neither one of
> us flies enough to know the diff between a DC-9 and a 727.
> >
That's an easy one. The DC-9 is a three engine craft, with the third
engine mid-way up the tailplane. This means that, upon suffering a
catastrophic negative impact with terra-firma, it is more likely to hit
tail first, causing the craft to cartwheeel along it's length, resulting
in the breakup of the plane and (hopefully) the ejection of the
passengers ala the cow in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
(Aaaahhhh!!!.....<thump>).
The 727, on the other hand, supports the engines from it's wings,
providing better balance on the ground. The result of this is that the
initial impact is more level, therefore less spectacular. However,
seeing that the fuel tanks are also (mostly) on the wings, this initial
rather bland impact is usually followed closely be the explosive release
of our friend JP-4 (Jet Propulsion fuel #4, for the aviationally
challenged. Not nearly as fun as its cousin, military grade JP-2, that
stuff will burn through your skin *without* an ignition source.)
Resulting in crispy critters for the local Quincy.
In summary, it basically depends on whether you'd rather crash or burn.
And *that* is the difference.
Steve
Just trying to help......
Paul Tauger
house at 5:30 a.m. to make my 6:30 a.m. flight which arrived at STL 40
minutes before my connection to Fort Lauderdale. With roughly 10 minutes to
spare before I boarded (TWA is one of those rational airlines that will
button up a plane and leave early if everyone is on board) my choice of food
was limited to ... what? Maybe a bag of potato chips? Then on to Fort
Lauderdale, get the car from the rental people, drive another half-hour or
so to my hotel, check-in to my room, and what time is it? Gee -- after
10:00 p.m. Lets add another 30 minutes for room service or a restaurant in
the hotel. That's 10:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m. California time. I've been
travelling contiuously for 12 hours, lugging my carryon and computer bag on
an off airplanes, jogging through the STL terminal between connections and
I'm thorougly exhausted. And this is absolutely typical of the kind of
travel that I do -- it is the rare occasion when I can get a direct flight
ANYWHERE without a connection through someone's hub.
And you think I should just eat before I leave or after I arrive? Sorry,
Chris, but you don't seem to have a very realistic understanding of the
nature of domestic business travel in the U.S. Fortunately, TWA agrees with
me, and not with you, and serves me meals.
And no, Chris, I am not a "lard ass" or a compulsive eater. I am a
middle-aged attorney who views business travel as a necessary _evil_, who
has to do it all too often, and who does not like the idea of going twelve
or more hours without anything to eat. I do not eat candy bars or gorp
(whatever that is), nor do I see any reason to be constrained to junk food
because you don't see any reason for meals to be served on a plane. When I
travel, I am away from my wife and the comfort of my home and will not
subject myself to additional discomfort because some foul-mouthed, ignorant
narcisist is offended by the prospect of seeing other people eat.
So, feel free to travel on those bargain airlines that don't serve anything
if you have a fundamental problem with food on an aircraft. I'll stick with
the grown-ups who fly on the majors.
--
==============================================
To avoid spam, my address is munged. To obtain my
e-mail address, replace "dot" and "period" with "."
and "at" with "@"
tauger dot paul at usa period net
=============================================
Chris Blaise wrote in message <35e6e403...@news.randori.com>...
>On Fri, 28 Aug 1998 00:53:50 -0400, "Mihir Shah" <mis...@vt.edu>
>wrote:
>
>>[Whine about length of flights and not getting meals deleted]
>
> As someone who flies several 6-8 hour flights a year, I take a
>very revolutionary approach to eating and flying:
>
> Ready?
>
> Here it goes...
>
> I FUCKING EAT BEFORE I GET ON THE PLANE!
>
> Strange as this may sound, I actually make time to eat a part
>of my planning for the flight. So, I can either eat a meal at HOME,
>at a restuarant NEAR THE AIRPORT, or if I'm feeling particularily lazy
>and spendy, AT THE AIRPORT ITSELF!
>
> When one's stomach is full, a 6-8 hour itinerary with only a
>few snacks is no more hellish than the entire experience of flying
>already is. When you're done, then you can find a restuarant at your
>point of destination and go to town. How hard is that?
>
>> I challenge anyone to get more than a slize of Sbarro pizza and
>>a drink and still make their flights on time.
>
> To quote a recent episode of South Park:
>
> "Christ, are you people diabetic?!"
>
> A slice of pizza and a drink during a stop in between an 8
>hour flight is plenty of fucking food...unless you're a lardass
>compulsive eater (to return to the original topic of the thread). Do
>you really need to sit down in a restuarant for an hour to eat? Of
>course not.
>
> IF you do need more food during the course of a flight than
>the provided snacks, then bring your own! SNACKS. Like candy bars,
>or dried fruit, or gorp. Not cheeseburgers, foot-long grinders, or
>salads.
>
> There's no reason, other than to be inconsiderate and rude, to
>bring a full course meal onto an airplane.
>
> Chris
fungus
>
> when the oxygen masks drop...
Just to keep this tasteless:
Do you know what happens during a rapid drop in cabin pressure?
Everybody on the entire aircraft (especially the big fat ones
and the chilli munchers we mentioned earlier) loses *all* their
intestinal gases, *all at the same time*. Phew!
Ask anybody who was in the air force and underwent "explosive
decompression" training...
If it ever happens to you then grab that oxygen mask and jam it
on your face as fast as you can, you're gonna need it.
Stetler
horse <rob...@bellsouth.net> stomps:
>These are the ones I want to see sucked out of a cabin window during an
>accidental loss of cabin pressure. Or, when the oxygen masks drop, run
>up and jerk it out of it's attachment before the parental unit can
>"adjust" it on their sprog. Or even better, offer to adjust it for
>them--around their throats and tighten.
The instructions they always give out on flights is "attach your
own air mask before assisting your children". My money says the
average scrub worshiping parent will quickly ignore this advice,
spend several critical seconds trying to get their hysterical,
uncooperative genetic defect to put their mask on, and then pass
out in the attempt. Without any air to back up their shrill screaming
and bawling, the sprog should then quickly expire. At least thats the
Darwin scenario I'm hoping for when an "accidental" loss of cabin
pressure hits. My big fear is I'll fail to put my mask on because
I'll be too busy laughing my ass off watching the spectacle.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Robert Stetler, k...@netcom.com "A friend said he was into astral -
- projection, but I told him he was out of his mind." -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
JF Mezei
You have window seat. The one nice seat you pre-selected months ago with the
right view etc.
Then this huge fat person sits next to you, and were it not for the armrest,
he would crush you.
So you say:
"Excuse me sir, but I though I should warn you, I am suffering from a mild
case of food poisoning, so don't be surprised if I fart profusely, or if I
must run to the washroom due to diahrea. The FA has already given me extra
barf bags, other than that, i should be a find companiion for the 8 hour flight".
So the fat guy sees that the seat behind is free and moves back. His new seat
mate, having overheard your plight says: "I was on the same flight as that
person in front and we both ate the same thing".
:-) :-) ;-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Stetler
>
>I've been to that site when they were offering free previews. Stuff like
>achondrocephalic dwarves fucking pre-op transsexuals, women cramming boa
>constrictors up the cooze,
I've raised boa constrictors before. Like most non-burrowing snakes,
their scales flow smoothly only in one direction. Getting them in might
not be a problem, getting them out might be uncomfortable for the snake,
the woman, or both.
On the other hand, maybe thats where the idea for ribbed condoms came
from...
Stetler
[long winded rant about 12 hour commute sent to /dev/null]
>And you think I should just eat before I leave or after I arrive? Sorry,
>Chris, but you don't seem to have a very realistic understanding of the
>nature of domestic business travel in the U.S. Fortunately, TWA agrees with
>me, and not with you, and serves me meals.
>
>And no, Chris, I am not a "lard ass" or a compulsive eater. I am a
>middle-aged attorney who views business travel as a necessary _evil_, who
>has to do it all too often, and who does not like the idea of going twelve
>or more hours without anything to eat.
My book slates anyone who can't go 12 hours without having the Iron Chefs
show up and cook a 3 course meal as a compulsive eater and/or lard ass.
For the average person whose pants waist size *doesn't* exceed its inseem
by several inches its the equivalent of skipping lunch. For those of us
who beat someone else's deadlines and earn our paychecks *without* charging
clients by the hour its a very common occurance. Try it, you might find
enough extra time on your hands to chase down another ambulance or file
another stock investor class action lawsuit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Robert "views middle-aged attornies as a necessary _evil_" Stetler -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
- k...@netcom.com | "A friend said he was into astral projection, but I -
- | told him he was out of his mind." -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PUDDYKATZ
>They need to be cramed into wood crates at the ticketing gate and shipped in
>the cargo hold. Being a frequent flyer I have encountered too many bovine
Why are these fat assed mutants even daring to appear in public?? Why aren't
more of us pointing and laffng ourselves silly every time we spy one of the
big-boned herd? If enough of us humilate enough of them, they'll keep their
fat, lazy, smelly asses at home where they belong. Believe me, this worked
wonders when I did it to my momma.
PuddyKatz
Soft in the right spots. Hard in the head.
GRay=?iso-8859-1?Q?=99
> >room and on another you're packed like sardines? Oh, and neither one of
> >us flies enough to know the diff between a DC-9 and a 727.
>
> of plane used for commercial transportation in the world - that's
> not what determines seat size.
>
> The airlines tell the aircraft company how many seats (within limits,
> of course) to put in when they order the plane.
>
> So 2 Boeing 757's can have radically differently sized seats, depending
> on what airline they belong to....
>
> Tina Marie
Tina is indeed correct on this,the cabin deck has a certain square
footage,over the life of the airframe,(measured in the number of
flights,they call them cycles),the density of potential human
crash-remains is the driving force for the airlines profit centers....
GRay-weirdly enough,I feel safer when I have the damn yoke in my
hands!!........Tina knows!!!!! the delicious sensation on short
final!!!
--
Notice-Any and all spelling,punctuation,incorrect grammer usage and the
like is strictly intentional meant purely for my pleasure to watch
morons with no lives make pathetic little flames,instead of addressing
posts on contex.
To reply via E-mail,please remove the extra letter g from the address
line of my e-mail...
Ted Rozmaryn
Stesal wrote in message <6s75pm$sfs$1...@news-2.news.gte.net>...
>
>That's an easy one. The DC-9 is a three engine craft, with the third
the engines from it's wings, providing better balance on the ground.
Hold on... The 727 is the 3 engined plane (1st commercial tri-engine plane
since the Ford tri-motor of the 30's). Its engines are tightly clustered in
the rear of the plane, one on either side of the body and on on top with the
exhaust at the very end of the body. The DC-9 has two engines which are
located on either side and at the back of the body. It, for all purposes is
the same as the Super 80 or MD-80.
Neither one has engines under the wings.
Kazuo Fujii
Fuck making the sows of the world buy two seats, that is simply too kind.
They need to be cramed into wood crates at the ticketing gate and shipped in
the cargo hold. Being a frequent flyer I have encountered too many bovine
passengers. And besides, they do stink.
Kazuo
>
>One airline tried that, told the 400 lb woman that she would have to
>purchase 2 seats due to her size. She got upset, saw an opportunity to
>cash in on this, and sued. I believe she was awarded about $400,000,
>which she most likely blew on KFC or Burger Kill, instead of getting a lot
>of liposuction.
>
>
>On Thu, 27 Aug 1998, Andrew Mountford. wrote:
>> >>>Why don't airlines tell these fat slobs that they have to buy 2 plane
>> >>>tickets when they show up at the gate and they realize they're the
>> >>>size of 2 people? We paid for TWO seats. Why should we spend the
>> >>>flight trying to share one seat because some pig is spilling over
>> >>>into one of the two seats we purchased?
>
soot...@my-dejanews.com
> I'm not Gigantor, but I'm not a size 3 either (alright you perves, I'm
> 5'9" and weigh 150 lbs. Muscle with enough squishy to make me ever so
> much fun--or so the TLH says.)
Methinks you should market whatever diet did *that*!
Remember this?
> Author: Lorri Robinson
> Email: robi...@avana.net
> Date: 1996/06/03
> Forums: soc.support.fat-acceptance, alt.support.big-folks
>
> Oh, dear, you need to find yourself another chiropractor! I suffered a deep
> strain of my lower back, involving a tipped 4th vertebra and impingement on
> the sciatic nerve. I had horrible lancing burning pains down my right leg so
> bad I could barely move. I am 5'9" and weigh about 325.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
<sznip>
> Good Luck,
> Lorri
Rob Dow
>In article <6s65au$p29$2...@garnet.nbnet.nb.ca> nos...@net.com writes:
>
>>>ObT: I was *sincerely* tempted to munch up one of those nut rolls anyway and
>>>exhale in her direction, just to watch her twitch and swell up. Woulda been
>>>pretty cool, I bet.
>
>>Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
>>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
>
> Works for me, peanut-boy.
>
If the plane has to land at the nearest airport for medical reasons, I like to
see how funny you look to 150 other pax.
(they may not share your humour)
Lots42
odd.
A fifteen by fifteen foot enclosure, sitting next to the bank of phones.
A closer examination through a window revealed a desk, chair and a bed. What
the hell?
Turns out it's a rent a room. Right there in the public throughway. Apparently
for business traveleres to get a little work done and/or not bother with a
hotel. Tres odd.
Close the windows and whack off with dozens of strangers right on the other
side.
"Honey, it's me. I'm here for two hours on a twin city lay over. And ... huh..
hold."
::softly::" Ungh, ungh, ungh. "
"Dear, where are you?"
"I said I was in the airport."
-Clunk-, -clunk- "Yes! Yes! URRRGH!"
"You bastard! I knew you were cheating on me with your assistant! And he's a
guy! I can hear him!"
(Hmm. Maybe that's why they aren't around).
Lots42
The Beat Of A Different Drummer
"Oh my god, there's a man on the floor" - Hank
"Scully, what are you wearing?" - Mulder || Real email address in
effect.
Kruge
fungus schrieb in Nachricht <35E74463...@egg.chips.and.spam.com>...
>Do you know what happens during a rapid drop in cabin pressure?
>Everybody on the entire aircraft (especially the big fat ones
>and the chilli munchers we mentioned earlier) loses *all* their
>intestinal gases, *all at the same time*. Phew!
Hm... Maybe that's the true reason the "no smoking" signs flash when the
plane's going down....
*KER-BLAM!*
OBT: Sorry, nothing really tasteless running through my head right now - i'm
to nervous waiting for my bank to give me the money to buy my shop... When
i'm home I calm myself down with some really good grass. We all know what
this stuff does to your creativity... :-/
But when I wank, later, I promise to think of Lorry. And Tina Marie. And
Nurzy. And... *SIGH!*
«
--
Michael Briel, resident Kraut of alt.tasteless
"I want to live long enough to see them cut your head off and stick it on a pike. I then shall look up into your liveless eyes and wave goodbye!" Vir Coto
Kr...@home.ivm.de (ICQ: 15785108)
Kruge
Rob schrieb in Nachricht
<01bdd1eb$8b84d520$989a...@wosu.acs.ohio-state.edu>...
>Troll, Troll, Troll, Troll
Which one?
Kruge
Roberta Hatch schrieb in Nachricht ...
>ObTravelTip: Always remember to bring a 100-dollar bill with you.
> Drinks are expensive on planes and they never seem to
> be able, or even want to break a C-note. Once they
> give you the drinks, it's too late to take them back.
> They always ask me, "Do you have anything smaller?"
> I always knowingly smile and answer, "No." If I can
> score two free drinks every time I fly, so can you!
You have to pay for drinks? Here you'd get them for free as long as you're
on the plane. When I flew to Cork, Ireland (from Bonn, via London Heathrow)
I asked for a window-seat both times. When all there was to see was grey
clouds (yawn) I entertained myself by testing if there's a limit to Gin and
Tonic. It seems that there isn't... :-)
Robinson
Gosh! Maybe you need to do a search of "Lorri" and "Robinson"!! Jeepers!
Do you think there might be.....MORE THAN ONE!!!!
Oooh, what a thought!! The Internet consists of.....*lots of people*!
Idjit. I've run into this before. I hope the cow dies.
Lorri
NOT with avana.net
Robinson
>
> Let's see -- for my flight this week from SNA to Fort Lauderdale, I left my
> house at 5:30 a.m. to make my 6:30 a.m. flight which arrived at STL 40
> minutes before my connection to Fort Lauderdale.
Shoulda left 10 min earlier and stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a couple of
bagels and a large hot chocolate.
> Then on to Fort
> Lauderdale, get the car from the rental people, drive another half-hour or
> so to my hotel
Stop at a restaurant or take-out place on the way. You must have passed
at least 2 or 3, if not more.
>, check-in to my room, and what time is it? Gee -- after
> 10:00 p.m. Lets add another 30 minutes for room service or a restaurant in
> the hotel. That's 10:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m. California time.
Call Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Papa John's. They all deliver and it'll be
there by the time you've gotten out of the shower.
Sorry, no sympathy. And I also fly the "Big Guys", and have gotten
stiffed for a meal. Big Whoop. On the aforementioned return trip from
Albany to Atlanta, had a 30 min connection in Pittsburgh. Went from one
end of the terminal to the other, had time to grab an 8 oz container of
cashews, a 20-oz Coke, and a Snickers bar. Kept me going til I got home.
Oh, and I'm 41--I think I qualify as a grownup.
Lorri
Tired of whiny-assed "take care of meeeeee" baby types--FORAGE,
Glubdammit!!
Nova Scotia's First Law Corporation
> My book slates anyone who can't go 12 hours without having the Iron Chefs
> show up and cook a 3 course meal as a compulsive eater and/or lard ass.
> For the average person whose pants waist size *doesn't* exceed its inseem
> by several inches its the equivalent of skipping lunch. For those of us
> who beat someone else's deadlines and earn our paychecks *without* charging
> clients by the hour its a very common occurance. Try it, you might find
> enough extra time on your hands to chase down another ambulance or file
> another stock investor class action lawsuit.
Sir/Madam, I assure you you know not whereof you speak. It is those who are on
salary, as opposed to on an hourly rate, who regularly take (long!) lunches.
Most of the rest of us have to work for a living. For years, I had a sign in my
office that said, "Lunch is For Wimps" (I'm not making this up...anyone who has
seen Wall Street will back me up on this) - but if I've been messing around
airports all day, yeah, I'll appreciate even airline food. I only have the
normal barrister belly (little bit of Molson Muscle), but IMO on any flight over
two hours, something more than a bag of peanuts is in order. OTOH, I remain
surprised at the number of people who fly on a ticket that is $100 cheaper than
any other flight, and then whinge because the "other" airline would have served
a meal....
Tony Quirke
> Exactly! There is an advantage, though, to traveling with porkers. If by
> chance you should run out of fuel and end up stuck in the mountains somewhere
> like that spic soccer team, everybody would know who was going to be meal
> choice #1.
I would like to point out that said Fat Bastards will be looking for
dinner *first*. And that they get cranky when they're hungry.
- Tony Q. (I point to the pirate crew from the Astrix comics for my
support. Granted, it lacks some of the style of other cites seen on the
Usenet, but is probably better researched than most)
--
"The American people, taking one with another, constitute the
most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and
goose-steppers ever gathered under one flag in Christendom since
the end of the Middle Ages." - H. L. Mencken.
soot...@my-dejanews.com
Robinson <rob...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
> Gosh! Maybe you need to do a search of "Lorri" and
> "Robinson"!! Jeepers!
Maybe you need to give up the desperate blustering and admit
that you've been outed. Jeepers!
> Do you think there might be.....MORE THAN ONE!!!!
Of course there is, oh sarcastic sow. But then, how many of
them do you suppose post to alt.tasteless (often, my memory
sez - 46 times, DejaNews sez), make references in their posts
to tick laden husbands and tasteless dogs, mention that they
live on a farm in Georgia, write biology and computer tech
support as though knowledgeable on those subjects; in short,
write just like you do?
Doubters: feel free to try ~a(robi...@avana.net) over at
DejeNews.
> Oooh, what a thought!! The Internet consists of.....*lots
> of people*!
Yup. Including many who were here long before you, dearie,
and remember quite clearly when you first drove up. Back
before you had your BellSouth account.
> Idjit.
Uh, no... I have my facts quite straight, thank you. The
only 'idjit' I'm finding this exchange would appear to be
you, for thinking that nobody here would ever put it together.
> I hope the cow dies.
You have a death wish, then? Yikes! Perhaps you should
talk it over with your chums over on alt.support.big-folks
or soc.support.fat-acceptance. Wonder what they'd think of
your remarks here?
> Lorri
> NOT with avana.net
Anymore.
- Leslie
Recognizes the sound of whistling in the graveyard.
springh...@my-dejanews.com
> My complaint is the idiots that think their children
> should be tolerated. On one flight I took, some little brat
> screamed from the moment he boarded, until the plane finally
> took off. Mom and her little brats should have been told to
> get off and take a bus to their destination. Of course I
> had to pay full fare, but the brats got a discount.
>
> Then there are, infants. Do they even have to pay
> fare? No, they share mom's seat. They also crap in their
> diapers and cry. Nothing quite like trying to enjoy a drink
> or eat a meal while the aroma of baby shit is passing through
> your nostril hairs. Of course that is supposed to be tolerated
> too. Well, little mommy how about if I shit my pants while
> you're trying to eat and we'll see how you like it.
>
> No kids should be allowed on planes that even remotly
> look like they'll throw temper tantrums, cry or crap their
> pants. No ifs, ands or buts, period.
the kids get on my nerves too sometimes roberta, but let's talk
about you. you sound like a real dreamboat mamma. you have
a sewer for a mouth, an attitude against normal women who have
children and i bet you're a fatass to boot. and just why are
you homo women so gross??? maybe folks wouldn't have such a poor
opinion of you all if you'dtry to tidy yourselves up a little.
what is a Panhead pray tell??
> ---
> Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
> Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
nanook_of_the_north
wrote:
>In article <6s65au$p29$2...@garnet.nbnet.nb.ca>, <nos...@net.com> wrote:
>>Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
>>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
>
>ill person on board, and then you'd be late getting wherever you're
>going.
We had a United 777 land here 'cause someone was rude enough to have a
heart attack well before the London-LA flight was due to land. All
these fuckers in shorts 'cause they figured they'd go from warm plane
to warm access tube to warm airport to warm LA proper, and here they
are walking across the tarmac with their shrivelled knees hanging out
in the near-freezing weather that we so generously call 'spring'.
ObT: Watching MuchMusic and wondering how in Glub's name anyone could
find Janet Jackson sexy, even covered with soap suds ('Go Deep').
Maybe with a large ball gag (so I wouldn't have to hear her
scream^Wsing) and a bag over her head....
Robert
From the messy desk of RobNorth 62 27 N 114 22 W (give or take) Politics
is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia. (Orwell)
Man is that he might have joy--not guilt trips. (Elder Russell M. Nelson)
A flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. (Burgess, A Clockwork Orange)
Notorious P.I.G.
>What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole flight?
Not knowing me, I'll suffice it to say that I would make him move,
and he'd be more than happy to have done so. I'm quite experienced
at having people consider altrenatives. While that makes me quite the
jackoff, my satisfaction outweighs the propriety of sittin' next to
some dribbledick with poor sanitary habits.
Y'see, champ, I'm scared shitless of flying. Perhaps fear of falling
is more accurate. Things that make me uncomfortable than I already
am, such as flying, MUST be stopped. There's 250 fuckin' seats on yer
standard airplane. That person will hafta move, if I'm already nearly
full of panic.
Whose comfort is more important? Mine, of course. I`m already in a
position where I am already being inconvenienced bby my fear of
flying, and, shoulld some brave soul wants to challenge me by
flopping his unwashed asshole next to mine, I'll just freak his ass
out.
There are several methods to accomplish this act. I find a dead-eyed
stare quite effective, but, at 150 pounds, it don't always work. I
have used more extreme methods, such as telling people that I get
I get really airsick. When in doubt, I'll have a 'major' fit, saying
that the man has been stalking me throughout the airport.
There is, at the bottom of the ol' bag of tricks, the threat of
damaging the person I can always refer to as a threat to my safety.
Happily, that option has only been used once, with the desired
effect.
For health reasons, I don't drink anymore. This is a good thing, as I
already stated that I ain't the biggest punk out there, and a physical
confrontation with a man that outweighs you by 50 pounds or so requires
all the concentration one can muster.
No. My record isn't 100% in these situations, but I run in the high 90s.
Peeve: Flying to St. Louis on the 4th of Sept. I have 20mg of Valium for
each direction, yet I have this strange supertolerance for benzodiazapans,
but conduct my business as if I weren't intoxicated. While that ain't
nothing to brag about, it allows me the freedom to do things I'm fuckin'
terrified of drug free.
!Peeve: Big Black Bruce, the man with the sedatives, and probably one of
the most amusing man I've ever met. Wherever he is at this moment, I hope
he's enjoying it.
I love you, Brother.
VJ
>
>Eunice
>
>
Lenore Levine
> Robinson <rob...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
>> Gosh! Maybe you need to do a search of "Lorri" and
>> "Robinson"!! Jeepers!
>Maybe you need to give up the desperate blustering and admit
>that you've been outed. Jeepers!
>> Do you think there might be.....MORE THAN ONE!!!!
>Of course there is, oh sarcastic sow...
"Leslie," could you explain why anyone here should care what
Lorri is, does, or hides in a shallow grave in her wine cellar,
as long as she writes interesting posts?
>Yup. Including many who were here long before you, dearie,
>and remember quite clearly when you first drove up. Back
>before you had your BellSouth account.
By the way, I've been here since fall '93, and I don't remember
much of _you_. Maybe you've been around, but what you say must
not have been that memorable.
Lenore Levine
--
"Body piercings are the nineties equivalent of i's dotted with
little hearts." -- Sophie von Anhalt-Zerbst
furplay
As the sage advice goes, "Better to be rude than screwed".
Roberta Hatch
>Let's see -- for my flight this week from SNA to Fort Lauderdale, I left my
>house at 5:30 a.m. to make my 6:30 a.m. ...
>... That's 10:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m. California time. I've been
>travelling contiuously for 12 hours, lugging my carryon and computer bag on
>an off airplanes, jogging through the STL terminal between connections and
>I'm thorougly exhausted. ...
>And you think I should just eat before I leave or after I arrive? Sorry,..
Why not? You could have got up at 5:00 a.m and cooked
something up. In fact, if you used what is supposed to be between
you ears, you could have fixed a couple of decent sandwiches, tossed
them into a brown bag along with a couple of oranges and whatever.
But no, you and the others would rather whine about airline
food, instead of doing something to help yourselves.
By the way, I notice you mention "lugging" your carry-on.
I'll bet you're one of the assholes that doesn't believe that you
need to check-in in your luggage.
Bobbi
Wes Payne
<6s5qn6$2...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>...
[Eunice gets seated next to sweaty, monstrous fishcake leviathan, snipped]
> What would you have done if the guy with B.O. had stayed the whole
flight?
Easy. I would have killed him -- elbowed him right at the bridge of his
nose and, while he was still stunned, broken his neck. Of course, I'd have
already gotten a blanket and pillow first, for him.
Why is it that people insist on putting up with the insufferable?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wes Payne, known to you as: n954...@wwu.cc.edu
Western Washington University -- Bellingham, WA -- The Great Northwet!
Switch 'wwu' with 'cc' to get correct e-mail address -- I hate SPAM
Send mine to: kc...@SWBELL.NET, mk2...@JUNO.COM or m...@ds9.wwia.net
"Please don't disturb my friend -- he's dead tired."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Roberta Hatch
>bha...@netcom.com (Roberta Hatch) wrote:
>>In article <6s65au$p29$2...@garnet.nbnet.nb.ca> nos...@net.com writes:
>>>>ObT: I was *sincerely* tempted to munch up one of those nut rolls
>>>>anyway and exhale in her direction, just to watch her twitch and
>>>>swell up. Woulda been pretty cool, I bet.
If whe was within sight of you, you could have let them all
on your tray in plain view. Maybe every once in a while, pick one
up and smell it like a fine cigar. She would have been on verge of
a nervous breakdown by the time you got to your destination.
>>>Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
>>>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
>> Works for me, peanut-boy.
>If the plane has to land at the nearest airport for medical reasons, I like to
>see how funny you look to 150 other pax.
>(they may not share your humour)
I guess I'll find out sooner or later.
Chances are, anyone that's allergic to peanuts is probably
a constant whiner. People would no doubt feel relief to be rid of
him.
By the way, I have no connection with the good folks at
Planter's, but I think their Spanish peanuts would cause the
fastest reaction. Those are my Number One choice to take along
for snacking.
Uproar
>When i'm home I calm myself down with some really good grass.
You Krauts have all the fun. You can get the French to surrender by
saying, "boo," and you've got good dope.
Oh, yeah, anyone can get the French to surrender, can't they? Well,
you still have good smoke.
--
Uproar at nac dot net, Brooklyn New York
Clavius
>>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
>
>ill person on board, and then you'd be late getting wherever you're
>going.
*Exactly* why I thought twice about it. I wasn't getting home until after
3:00 in the fucking AM as it was.
Jim
ObForgotTheGoodPartT: The nut rolls melted in my pocket on the way. Looked
like somebody took a nutty little dump in the candy wrappers. Then again,
they don't look all that much different when they're fresh...
Lincard 1000
wrote:
>>ObFat: Saw an accident a few years back where some fat freak was
>>jaywalking across a busy street. She was hit by a smallish car... the
>>sad thing is she got up and walked away. The car had to be towed :-(
>
> Christ, that's right out of Pulp Fiction. Did the driver and
>the cellulite-enhanced individual go at each other with pistols?
No, I was vaguely amused by this so I kept an eye on the papers in the
following few days. The driver, would you believe, was charged with
careless use of a motor vehicle, and fined. There are no laws in this
country about jaywalking.
---->
"Mmmm, arent I lucky, I got a chunky bit..."
<----
lincard(at)ihug(dot)co(dot)nz
---->
GRay=?iso-8859-1?Q?=99
> Drinks are expensive on planes and they never seem to
> be able, or even want to break a C-note. Once they
> give you the drinks, it's too late to take them back.
> They always ask me, "Do you have anything smaller?"
> I always knowingly smile and answer, "No." If I can
> score two free drinks every time I fly, so can you!
>
Wooo Hooo !!!!!!!! I'm gonna try that one!!!!!!
GRay-free drinks are cool!!!!
GRay=?iso-8859-1?Q?=99
> I was on a flight to Qingdao from HK; middle seat of 3 on an A320;
the girl
> in front of me starts eating dried cuttlefish 5 minutes after take off (what
> a smell!),
Cuttle fish!!!!! Oh,YES!!!!
As a tiny brat living in Hawaai,I developed a love for that
dried,salty fish snack!!!!
My sisters and I,armed with several pouches of CuttleFish,would hit
the movie theatre on Saturday to watch one of those cheezy kiddy flicks.
We then dive into our tasty treats.
Sure as shit,within about ten minutes,folks started to clear out for
at least 15-20 feet or more!!!!
Could this be a Tastless tip ??? Cuttlefish,don't you move,make IT
move!!!
GRay-with my luck,the fat bastard will bum me for a few strips....
docfa...@yahoo.com
springh...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
*SNIP*
>
> the kids get on my nerves too sometimes roberta, but let's talk
> about you. you sound like a real dreamboat mamma. you have
> a sewer for a mouth, an attitude against normal women who have
> children and i bet you're a fatass to boot. and just why are
> you homo women so gross??? maybe folks wouldn't have such a poor
> opinion of you all if you'dtry to tidy yourselves up a little.
> what is a Panhead pray tell??
> > ---
Sad, sad, sad. Unable to spell, unable to parse, unable to capitalize, and
unable to differentiate between a Panhead and a Knucklehead. Sad, sad, sad.
docfarquar
ObT: Just don't have one that can compete. Sad, sad, sad.
mga...@techstar-online.com
> the kids get on my nerves too sometimes roberta, but let's talk
> about you. you sound like a real dreamboat mamma. you have
> a sewer for a mouth, an attitude against normal women who have
> children and i bet you're a fatass to boot. and just why are
> you homo women so gross??? maybe folks wouldn't have such a poor
> opinion of you all if you'dtry to tidy yourselves up a little.
> what is a Panhead pray tell??
Oh, boy, get me a front row seat for this battle! Can't wait to see what she
says! But watch out, Jack...anyone who belongs to a fine motorcycle
enthusiast organization like "Dykes on Bikes" can probably kick your scrawny
ass all over town!
Mike
("I've been licking carpet all day and I still don't feel like a
lesbian!"--Cartman, "South Park")
Dan Hillman
> >>Yea, I bet it would be cool seeing the person's throat close up from the
> >>allergy and choke to death. Provide a little entertainment for ya?
> >
> > Works for me, peanut-boy.
>
> If the plane has to land at the nearest airport for medical reasons, I like to
> see how funny you look to 150 other pax.
> (they may not share your humour)
It would only land if the flight attendants noticed. I'd go the extra
step to cover up the body with a blanket a la Ah-nold in *Commando*.
d "brings a whole new meaning to 'peanut brittle'" h
--
500 B.C. -- "De gustibus non disputandum est"
1997 A.D. -- "WhatEVuh"
Mike Kennedy
> Robinson wrote:
> >
> > > Oh, and neither one of
> > us flies enough to know the diff between a DC-9 and a 727.
> > >
> That's an easy one. The DC-9 is a three engine craft, with the third
> engine mid-way up the tailplane. This means that, upon suffering a
> catastrophic negative impact with terra-firma, it is more likely to hit
> tail first, causing the craft to cartwheeel along it's length, resulting
> in the breakup of the plane and (hopefully) the ejection of the
> passengers ala the cow in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
> (Aaaahhhh!!!.....<thump>).
>
>
> The 727, on the other hand, supports the engines from it's wings,
> providing better balance on the ground. The result of this is that the
> initial impact is more level, therefore less spectacular. However,
> seeing that the fuel tanks are also (mostly) on the wings, this initial
> rather bland impact is usually followed closely be the explosive release
> of our friend JP-4 (Jet Propulsion fuel #4, for the aviationally
> challenged. Not nearly as fun as its cousin, military grade JP-2, that
> stuff will burn through your skin *without* an ignition source.)
> Resulting in crispy critters for the local Quincy.
Wonderful but fanciful imagery aside, you are *not* an Instant Winner in the
"Describe The Airliner Game".
The DC-9/MD-95/Boeing 717 is a twin-engine, centerline thrust airliner. It
resembles the Boeing 727, which is a three-engine, centerline thrust
airliner, with the third engine located inside the aft fuselage and
tailcone, aft of the rear airstairs. However, your description fits the 757
and 767, as well as the Airbus A310, A320, and A330 series airplanes.
You did correctly observe that the fuel tanks on all modern commercial
airliners are contained in the wings and wing-to-body center section.
However, the fuel contained therein, Jet 50 (not JP-4), won't really
explode, but when sufficiently atomized by controlled (or uncontrolled)
flight into terrain will ignite in a relatively spectacular fashion when
subjected to a convenient spark or flame.
ObT: Removing the cabin insulation blankets from an old passenger airliner
when converting it to a cargo plane. Tobacco residue. Yum. (And I'm a
smoker.)ObEvenMoreT: Removing airliner lavatories to ship them to the
vendor for refurbishing. And cleaning the areas under the floorboards where
they were located. Double yum.--
"There is very little money in the truth. Usually some ugly form of popular
execution, instead."
Andrew Mountford.
GRay™ wrote in message <6sabji$aes$1...@news-2.news.gte.net>...
>Andrew wrote.....
>
>
> > I was on a flight to Qingdao from HK; middle seat of 3 on an A320;
>the girl
>> in front of me starts eating dried cuttlefish 5 minutes after take off
(what
>> a smell!),
>
>
> Cuttle fish!!!!! Oh,YES!!!!
>
> As a tiny brat living in Hawaai,I developed a love for that
>dried,salty fish snack!!!!
Do you like those deep fried baby octopus as well? They're my personal
fave.
Over here I can get peanuts with Ikan Bilis; must take them on a flight one
day soon.
Best Regards,
mumph
Paul Tauger
about others without any information whatsoever.
Spend some time on dejanews before your insult me.
*plonk*
The sound of an idiot being dropped in the killfile.
--
==============================================
To avoid spam, my address is munged. To obtain my
e-mail address, replace "dot" and "period" with "."
and "at" with "@"
tauger dot paul at usa period net
=============================================
Stetler wrote in message ...
>In article <6s76rh$4o8$1...@nntp2.ba.best.com> "Paul Tauger"
<tauger....@SPAM.usa.net> writes:
>[long winded rant about 12 hour commute sent to /dev/null]
>
>>And you think I should just eat before I leave or after I arrive? Sorry,
>>Chris, but you don't seem to have a very realistic understanding of the
>>nature of domestic business travel in the U.S. Fortunately, TWA agrees
with
>>me, and not with you, and serves me meals.
>>
>>And no, Chris, I am not a "lard ass" or a compulsive eater. I am a
>>middle-aged attorney who views business travel as a necessary _evil_, who
>>has to do it all too often, and who does not like the idea of going twelve
>>or more hours without anything to eat.
>
> My book slates anyone who can't go 12 hours without having the Iron Chefs
>show up and cook a 3 course meal as a compulsive eater and/or lard ass.
>For the average person whose pants waist size *doesn't* exceed its inseem
>by several inches its the equivalent of skipping lunch. For those of us
>who beat someone else's deadlines and earn our paychecks *without* charging
>clients by the hour its a very common occurance. Try it, you might find
>enough extra time on your hands to chase down another ambulance or file
>another stock investor class action lawsuit.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>- Robert "views middle-aged attornies as a necessary _evil_" Stetler -
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>- k...@netcom.com | "A friend said he was into astral projection, but I -
>- | told him he was out of his mind." -
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
Paul Tauger
>Paul Tauger wrote:
>>
>> Let's see -- for my flight this week from SNA to Fort Lauderdale, I left
my
>> minutes before my connection to Fort Lauderdale.
>
>Shoulda left 10 min earlier and stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a couple of
>bagels and a large hot chocolate.
Sorry, I don't eat junk food and, in any event, there's nothing open between
my house and SNA.
>
>> Then on to Fort
>> Lauderdale, get the car from the rental people, drive another half-hour
or
>> so to my hotel
>
>Stop at a restaurant or take-out place on the way. You must have passed
>at least 2 or 3, if not more.
Too much work to do to stop at a restaurant and eat and, as for take away, I
don't eat junk food.
>
>>, check-in to my room, and what time is it? Gee -- after
>> 10:00 p.m. Lets add another 30 minutes for room service or a restaurant
in
>> the hotel. That's 10:30 p.m., 7:30 p.m. California time.
>
>Call Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Papa John's. They all deliver and it'll be
>there by the time you've gotten out of the shower.
See above.
>
>Sorry, no sympathy. And I also fly the "Big Guys", and have gotten
>stiffed for a meal. Big Whoop. On the aforementioned return trip from
>Albany to Atlanta, had a 30 min connection in Pittsburgh. Went from one
>end of the terminal to the other, had time to grab an 8 oz container of
>cashews, a 20-oz Coke, and a Snickers bar. Kept me going til I got home.
If I had to eat cashews, Cokes and Snickers bars everytime I flew, I'd have
been dead from a heart attack years ago.
>
>Oh, and I'm 41--I think I qualify as a grownup.
Maybe chronlogically, but definitely not on the basis of your diet. (That's
a joke, not an insult -- enough flames, already).
>
>Lorri
>Tired of whiny-assed "take care of meeeeee" baby types--FORAGE,
>Glubdammit!!
I think you missed the start of the thread. My original post was about the
trend to "beverage only" flights on longer routes. It concluded with, "I'm
not complaining, just curious." I was surprised that American didn't offer
meal service on a 2:50 flight leg. Someone else suggested brownbagging it.
Yet another individual objected to ANY food service on airplanes. It was to
this individual, who clearly does not fly for business on anything like a
regular basis, that my "I'll fly with the grownups" line was directed.
Dave Bell
: In article <bhatchEy...@netcom.com>,
: bha...@netcom.com (Roberta Hatch) wrote:
:
: > My complaint is the idiots that think their children
: > should be tolerated. On one flight I took, some little brat
: the kids get on my nerves too sometimes roberta, but let's talk
: about you. you sound like a real dreamboat mamma. you have
: a sewer for a mouth, an attitude against normal women who have
: children and i bet you're a fatass to boot. and just why are
: you homo women so gross??? maybe folks wouldn't have such a poor
: opinion of you all if you'dtry to tidy yourselves up a little.
: what is a Panhead pray tell??
: > Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
: > Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)
Hey, Bobbi: Bring someone along to take pics for the rest of us, OK?
Bill
> I think you missed the start of the thread. My original post was about the
> trend to "beverage only" flights on longer routes. It concluded with, "I'm
> not complaining, just curious." I was surprised that American didn't offer
> meal service on a 2:50 flight leg.
MSNBC recently had an internet article about how bad airlines were.There is a
Delta flight from Atlanta to West Palm Beach that averages
29 minutes behind schedule. How could it.
A United flight from New York to San Francisco non-stop manages to
lose one third of the checked luggage.
US Air has a flight that goes from Baltimore to Philidelphia and then to
Pheonix non-stop that is on a 737 configured for flights of 200 miles or less.
That must be the one that only serves drinks.
Then the most expensive flight was from Detroit to Cleveland, a distance of
95 miles and it costs over $450 (there is competition also)
Southwest has a flight from Seattle to Phoenix that ranks as the most frequently
canceled flight.
Roberta Hatch
>It never ceases to amaze me how willing some people are to make judgments
>about others without any information whatsoever.
>Spend some time on dejanews before your insult me.
Why?! One article from you is enough evidience for
more people to prove that you're an asshole.
Now, go away.
>Stetler wrote in message ...
< Some stuff >
Bobbi
Notorious P.I.G.
> I FUCKING EAT BEFORE I GET ON THE PLANE!
Me, too. I eat 30mg of Valium and two Bloody Marys. Doesn't
seem to annoy my fellow passengers, or maybe I'm just unaware.
The comfort of the people around me on a flight takes a backseat
to my fear of flying on my priority list.
> Strange as this may sound, I actually make time to eat a part
>of my planning for the flight. So, I can either eat a meal at HOME,
>at a restuarant NEAR THE AIRPORT, or if I'm feeling particularily lazy
>and spendy, AT THE AIRPORT ITSELF!
Common sense, or the lack of it, is the reason a.p exists. This is
more of a peeve than a atsteless post, if you want my opinion,
which you get, whether or not you want it.
> To quote a recent episode of South Park:
> "Christ, are you people diabetic?!"
ggain, if you're like me, you gotta make yerself relaxed. I use chemical means,
but most use alcohol. The percetage of people as petrified, I believe, is in
the 20-25% category. As the saying goes, though, I ain't afraid of flying.
It's the falling that scares shit out of me.
> There's no reason, other than to be inconsiderate and rude, to
>bring a full course meal onto an airplane.
Good enough for me, but a large meal isn't convenient when you're squeezed
into such a small area.
VJ
Jussa2rist
miss him anyway.