How to be a SUCCESSFUL serial killer
I AM RAGE!
It's something that has gone through many a mind I am sure. There are times
you just can't stand the total stupidity of the human race, and the only way
you can let out all that steam that's been building up in you is to go out and
thin the herd. You know you can't take them all down, but you can at least get
some satisfaction out of cutting some family trees short.
Problem is, there are some cases when the perp overlooks some detail that
eventually leads to their arrest, imprisonment, and possible execution. Not
only is this not fun, but it also means that you're no longer able to remove
any more idiots from the gene pool.
To help increase the chances of Darwinisation, here are some helpful tips on
how to do the job right, and thus be able to continue with your work for as
long as possible:
1. NEVER do the deed on a Fri-Sun. weekend. If you swipe someone off the
street, there will be search parties organized. A weekend allows a lot of
people to join in the search when they're off work for a few days. Best times
to do this is during the evening on a Monday to Thursday, preferrably during
the shittiest weather possible. There's nothing like a cold snap or rainy
season to make a search party as miserable as possible, not to mention it's
chances to have too many volenteers.
2. ALWAYS WEAR SOMETHING YOU WILL NOT WEAR AGAIN: DON'T wear ratty old clothes
or brand-new ones either (both are tip-offs). Put on something that you had
sitting in the closet for a while (nothing too distinctive, mind you). Once
you do your deed, you can dispose of the garb in a manner you find sufficient
(fireplaces are good for this).
3. KEEP A MAP OF THE CITY YOU ARE STALKING: The Homocide Detectives will have
a map with pins indicating where you have struck, and thus will try to trace a
pattern or killing area. Plan your killing zones carefully, as well as
randomly. If you WANT to have fun with this though, leave your victims at
strategic points on the map (one on top, one on the upper left of the map, one
on the lower right, etc. etc.). Imagine the faces of the cops that are trying
to figure out your next strike when the pins on the map form a pentagram or a
smiley face.
4. LEAVE NO CLUES!: Shoeprints are a big narc when they search a crime scene,
so buy something that is VERY commonly available (cheapass ones from the local
Payless is good), and follow rule #2. Make sure you've cleaned yourself off
good before leaving home so you can prevent any stray hairs. If the victim
claws you (and gets some of your DNA under the nails), clip off those
incriminating digits with a pair of bolt cutters. Always wear a condom when
you feel "romantic", as well as a plastic baggie so you can take it (and those
fingers) back home and dispose of properly. Don't make any stupid statements
or letters to taunt either. The UnaBomber's biggest downfall was his own
manifesto. Remember that.
5. DON'T attempt a kidnapping as kids are going to/from school. There are too
many witnesses around that can run to the nearest house or school and get the
heat on you too soon. Best chances are when you can chance upon a young victim
alone somewhere. Kids like to act smart in the presence of their peers, but if
you can find one alone, they're easy meat.
6. DON'T LET THE VICTIM SEE YOUR FACE: In the days of olde when Kings were on
the very bad, the Royal Torturer wore a mask not only to hide his identity,
but to also deny the victims of ever even knowing what his/her tormentor looks
like. Let the dumb fuckers die wondering, I say.
7. DON'T KEEP ANY MOMENTOS: If the pigs find you out, don't give them any help
in ruining you by keeping a box somewhere where you've kept some
earrings,pictures, newspaper clippings, or severed nipples. Don't brag to
anyone about your crimes either. There is NO friend alive that is going to be
willing to keep hush-hush if you tell them what you're up to (they'll be
peachy glad to sell you down the river in an instant for a possible reward).
Let your own memories of the act be your only souveneirs.
8. DON'T DO THIS TOO OFTEN: The more you kill off, the more likely the herd
will get savvy enough to stay secure indoors (even you won't be as dangerous
and unstable as a daddy with a loaded shotgun behind the front door) and the
cops will be able to find you all the easier. Do a couple attacks for a few
months during a Summer, stop and wait a few years, and do it again in another
area of the city.
9. THROW THE COPS OFF THE TRACK: If you want to drive the cops nuts, you can
always deiberatley leave something behind that's so bizarre, they'll spend
sleepless nights trying to figure out the meaning of it and what the
connection is (this is the only exeption to rule #4). When you've positioned
the corpse on it's back in the woods, open a can of tuna and empty the
contents on the face. This not only encourages the woodland critters to come
over and feast, but it also make the cops wonder just what is it with you and
tuna. Did your parents abuse you with a can of Chicken of the Sea as a child?
Were you traumatized by commercials of Charlie the Tuna? This will occupy who
knows how many man hours being wasted in searching for leads about tuna.
10. DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT KEEP THE CORPSES WITH YOU!! (rule #4 DEFINATELY
applies here): DON'T be like Jeffry Dahmer or JW Gacy and allow the stink of
rotting flesh to give the neighbors cause to suspect. Morons like that deserve
to feel the needle's prick or get a lead pipe headache. Bury it out in the
woods or dump it over a bridge somewhere, dumbass!
Now go out htere and have fun guys. And
remember....................................ALWAYS plan ahead!
This article is dedicated to Mark Walsh. May the severed head of his son Adam
be used as Satan's 'roid cushion for all eternity.
I AM RAGE!
I AM RAGE!
I AM RAGE!
Jeffrey D. Angus
"I AM RAGE!" <An...@the.world.com> writes:
[ interesting article snipped ]
>Now go out htere and have fun guys. And
>remember....................................ALWAYS plan ahead!
In the words of the old sergeant on Hill Street Blues
"Hurry up, they're getting away!"
(After the first sergeant died.)
Feltch.
--
Amateur: WA6FWI@WA6FWI.#SOCA.CA.USA.NA | "It is difficult to imagine our
Internet: jan...@skyld.grendel.com | universe run by a single omni-
US Mail: PO Box 4425 Carson, CA 90749 | potent god. I see it more as a
Phone: 1 (310) 887-8545 | badly run corporation."
enema_...@yahoo.com
Great pointers!
Although the biggest factor in not geting caught is the very fact that you
are a serial killer.
Something on the order of 95% of those who find themselves in the temporary
employ of the Angel of death, thinning the herd in the name of St. Darwin,
know thier victims. Therefore the 95% of police work is simply asking all the
firends and relatives of the newfound worm food, "what's up?"
All the fancy fingerprint that, DNA this, and fiber comparison the other is
to simply seal the case in court usaully. After one day of asking around, the
fuzz usually has a pretty good idea of whodunnit, they just need to prove it
beyond a shadow of a doubt.
When you have no personal ties to the DarwinBait, you are already one step
ahead, unless you do someething stupid like use the same dumping ground over
again.
The wise serial killer also chooses victim's carefuly. Runaways are great
when you can find one, but they're scarce because there's so much compitition
these days to nab a yummy anglo teen these days. Hookers are also a staple
victim, you don't even have to club them to get into the car! The children of
large immagrant families are also a good bet, they're poor and the sprogs can
be lured with trinkets or candy, there's usually so many of them running
around the house that it takes a few days to notice one's missing, and the
language barrier can delay the police a day or two while they dig up a
translator.
Bardex
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Alraune
In <353D6291...@the.world.com> "I AM RAGE!" <An...@the.world.com>
writes:
>
>
>1. NEVER do the deed on a weekend.
>
>2. ALWAYS WEAR SOMETHING YOU WILL NOT WEAR AGAIN.
>
>3. KEEP A MAP OF THE CITY YOU ARE STALKING.
>4. LEAVE NO CLUES!
>
>5. DON'T attempt a kidnapping as kids are going to/from school.
>
>6. DON'T LET THE VICTIM SEE YOUR FACE.
>7. DON'T KEEP ANY MOMENTOS.
>
>8. DON'T DO THIS TOO OFTEN.
>9. THROW THE COPS OFF THE TRACK
>10. DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT KEEP THE CORPSES WITH YOU!!
>Now go out there and have fun guys. And
>remember....................................ALWAYS plan ahead!
>
>This article is dedicated to Mark Walsh. May the severed head of his
>son Adam be used as Satan's 'roid cushion for all eternity.
That would be John Walsh, buddy, but I couldn't agree with you more.
I've always thought that joyless sonovabitch should have been drowned
in the same Miami canal they found little Adam floating in.
I don't think anybody's ever been charged with this crime, but isn't
there a serial killer already on Death Row who has claimed credit for
it? It would have to be somebody who's seperated from General
Population, because it wouldn't do to be known as the man who's
responsible for America's Most Wanted. Child killers are already low in
the prison pecking order, right above snitches and right below crooked
cops.
Alraune "I'm a chicken hawk. I hunt chickens, see?"
Jonathan Blaque
Alraune wrote (re: the murder of Adam Walsh):
> I don't think anybody's ever been charged with
> this crime, but isn't there a serial killer already
> on Death Row who has claimed credit for it?
You're thinking of Henry Lee Lucas' suave and
handsome sidekick, Ottis Toole, who was the
prime suspect.
Alas, we'll never know for sure. Toole never 'fessed
to the deed, and died in prison a few years back.
It's presumed His Royal Heinous tortured and
raped the little boy before beheading him...
....which would make the victim a "Toole Box," eh?
Cheers!
Vomit(II)
Sneerer To Thee
"Every tool carries with it the spirit by which it was
created."
-- Werner Heisenberg, 'Physics & Philosophy'
ObAfterThought: S'pose you could say that the very
last thing Adam saw was the "Peter O'Toole."
ObGangBang: Three girls -- two 12-year-olds and a
13-year-old -- were taken to a Fresno (CA) motel
where they were repeatedly beaten and raped by up
to *16* Romeos.
Apparently, the lucky little lassies had been stran-
ded, and agreed to let an ex-boyfriend of one of the
girls drive them home.
He "drove 'em home," alright. ;)
Three men and seven boys have pleaded innocent
to felony rape charges. Cops were still seeking up
to six additional suspects.
--
Alraune
In <asleep-2504...@chi-il11-25.ix.netcom.com>
asl...@thewheel.net (Jonathan Blaque) writes:
>
>You're thinking of Henry Lee Lucas' suave and
>handsome sidekick, Ottis Toole, who was the
>prime suspect.
>
>Alas, we'll never know for sure. Toole never 'fessed
>to the deed, and died in prison a few years back.
>
was one fugly bastard, wasn't he?
Now Henry Lee, he was a good-lookin' man. I bet if he hadn't of been on
Death Row, his dance card would have been filled.
JGS
Alraune
>13-year-old -- were taken to a Fresno (CA) motel
>where they were repeatedly beaten and raped by up
>to *16* Romeos.
>
that was luring girls to Orlando and then forcing them into a life of
crime. The girls, ranging in age from fourteen to twenty-one, were
usually promised a job here, and had no friends and family in the area.
Customers paid $20 for fifteen minutes, and the girls were rotated to a
different brothel every two weeks. Ther article claimed it was for
variety, but more likely it was so no johns got attached to their
little fuckbirds and decided to do something stupid, like Christian
Slater in True Romance.
One girl who had tried to escape from her employers had ben disciplined
by being locked in a closet for fifteen days. Now that would be one
scary fuck, when she finally got out. She would work your dick like a
corncob. Slow down, Lorena!
And you know what the worst part about this is? I didn't hear about the
goddam place until it got shut down! Fuck!
Alraune
Lenore Levine
wor...@world.std.com (Dale R Worley) writes:
>Another suggestion which every a.t'er will like is: Pick victims that
>nobody gives a shit about. Cheap hustlers and crackwhores don't send
>the cops into sleepless nights, if anyone figures out they're missing
>at all.
May I also suggest skinheads? Sorry, Hollister, but the cops
don't worry too much about them, either.
Lenore Levine
--
"...it clearly states in the sixth book of the Torah that children are
to be either roasted or boiled in water, NOT breast milk. Here in the
South, however, reformed Jews will often deep-fry them in cornmeal. A
Southerner will eat *anything* fried in cornmeal." -- Stesal