Irish Jokes
vlad
Here's one,
Two english thugs walk into a bar in Ireland and both decide to have a
competition on who can annoy the irish barman more.
The first thug walks up to the barman and says:
"OI! Paddy, did you know that St Patrick was English?"
The barman says nothing and continues wiping down the bar.
The second thug say "watch this. This'll really piss him off!"
He walks up to the bar and says:
"OI! Paddy, did you know that St Patrick was a wanker?"
The barman looks up and says:
"I know, Your mate just told me."
Alexander Delarge
How do you confuse an Irishman?
Put two shovels against the wall and ask him to take his pick!
What do you call an Irishman who steals your drink?
Nick McGuinness!
Why did the Irishman buy a black and white dog?
The licence is cheaper!
Did you hear about the Irishman who wanted to buy Sherlock Holmes?
He thought they were a block of flats! (apartment buildings)
Where do Irish babies come from?
You dont know? And you thought Irishmen were dumb!
Did you hear about the Irishmen who had a brain transplant?
The brain rejected him!
Why do so many Irishmen emigrate?
Because MacGillicuddy Reaks!
How do you get an Irishman to climb on to the roof of a pub?
Tell him the drinks are on the house!
Did you hear about the Irishman who had twins?
He went out with a shougun looking for the other man!
How do you recognise an Irishman in a carwash?
He's the one sitting on a motercycle!
Why did the Irishman put a floodlight on his sundial?
He wanted to be able to tell time at night!
Did you hear of the Irishman who was burried at sea?
4 of his mates drowned digging his grave!
How does an Irishman cope with a gas leak?
He puts a bucket under it!
Have you heard about the new parachute invented by an irishman?
It opens on impact!
Why can't Irishmen go waterskiing?
They can't find a lake with a slope!
Why can't you get ice in your drinks in ireland?
The guy with the recipe emigrated!
Did you hear about the Irishman who stayed up all night wondering where the
sun had gone?
It finally dawned on him!
Why are Irish jokes so simple?
So others can understand them!
Phongdiem H. Le
what do you call 2 gay irishmen?
Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick... get it? "Fitz" as in
fits.