Why did the chicken cross the road?
G - P
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of
crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take
Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that
individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and,
therefore, synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
John Locke:
Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
Fox Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your
underlying sexual insecurity.
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such
a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads
Darwin #2:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the
road.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather
"Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste
to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place
anyway?"
The Pope:
That is only for God to know.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
Immanuel Kant:
The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own
free will.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective):
I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom.
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND
balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.49999999.
M.C.Escher:
That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.
George Orwell:
Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing
the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their
interests.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Plato:
For the greater good.
Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road,the Road gazes also across
you.
B.F. Skinner:
Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from
birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to
cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it
necessary to cross the road.
Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.
Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?
The Sphinx:
You tell me.
Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.
Emily Dickenson:
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Joseph Stalin:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!
O.J.:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
dennis jennings
clar...@ihug.co.nz
Coz it was nailed to the punk
Ærchie
>Young Clarisse:
>Coz it was nailed to the punk
>
>
>
>On Thu, 24 Feb 2000 19:26:14 GMT, "G - P" <G...@GP.Com> in asking a very old question, wrote:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
but the question was worded wrongly - it should have been
WHAT did the chicken cross the road with??
and the correct answer is - "with the footpath"
and thus was begat a "rowath"
Ćrchie the obscure
Lik Mai Sak
> but the question was worded wrongly - it should have been
> WHAT did the chicken cross the road with??
> and the correct answer is - "with the footpath"
> Ærchie the obscure
But the footpath runs beside the road, not across it. If said chicken used a footpath, then he
did not cross the road!
E.
Jay Alexander
It had a dream...
clar...@ihug.co.nz wrote in message <38b997f3...@news.ihug.co.nz>...