The Phone Guy
Paul Tomblin
>only in the little pea-brain of the phone switch. For example, Mr.
>Randall Ghoate, who is in charge of system supplies procurement - to
Is his middle name "Ole", perchance?
--
Paul Tomblin, not speaking for anybody.
"Faced with the prospect of rereading this book, I would rather have my brains
ripped out by a plastic fork." - Charles Cooper reviews the new Gates book.
http://www.zdnet.com/zdnn/stories/news/0,4586,2230586,00.html
Scott K. Stafford
> >only in the little pea-brain of the phone switch. For example, Mr.
> >Randall Ghoate, who is in charge of system supplies procurement - to
>
> Is his middle name "Ole", perchance?
William, IIRC...
--
Scott K. Stafford
<sco...@UNSPAM.together.net>
********************************
Hornswoop me bungo pony on dogsled on ice
Make a dash for freedom
Don't skate on polar ice
It's too think to be sliced
By the light
Of long and white polar nights
Sheldon T. Hall
Stafford) wrote:
>(2) I've been able to set up a couple of "virtual employees" who exist
>only in the little pea-brain of the phone switch.
Don't forget Ms. Hunt. First name, Helen.
That way, when lusers pester you for something you don't want to supply, you
can tell them they'll have to go to Helen Hunt for it ....
When I ran the phone system at a former employer's place, I found a working,
live, and unused inwards WATS line. Which was immediately routed to the
extra number I put in my office.
Phone systems can be fun.
-Shel
--
Sheldon T. Hall
7670...@compuserve.com
This message sold by weight, not by volume;
Content may have settled during shipment.
Ralph Wade Phillips
Sheldon T. Hall <7670...@compuserve.com> wrote in message
news:370982bc....@storm.columbus.rr.com...
> On Mon, 5 Apr 1999 15:16:14 -0400, sco...@UNSPAM.together.net (Scott K.
> Stafford) wrote:
>
>
> >(2) I've been able to set up a couple of "virtual employees" who exist
> >only in the little pea-brain of the phone switch.
>
> Don't forget Ms. Hunt. First name, Helen.
>
> That way, when lusers pester you for something you don't want to supply,
you
> can tell them they'll have to go to Helen Hunt for it ....
>
Actually, you want the other Helen - Ms. Waite.
RwP
Joelll Herda
Stafford <sco...@UNSPAM.together.net> wrote:
> How many of you folks also get stuck with administering The Company Phone
> System?
Sounds like a fun toy... of course, the VBC where I work has some
18,000 employees, so we have a whole department to run the pbx-en.
It'd be kind of cool to be the one who determines the "on-hold" music...
I've always wanted to set up a really good voice-response system...
press 1 to be ignored, press two to go to the next menu kind of thing.
Call it Voice Jail. *
joel
* ref: Wired mag, some long time ago...yes, I used to read it...no, I
don't anymore
--
Joel Herda sysadmin-biker-skum 1983 Suzuki GS1100GL
jjo...@tiac.net DoD#2053 1995 Neon Sport Coupe DOHC
remove the leading j from my address to have email get through
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
<jjo...@tiac.net> scrobe:
>It'd be kind of cool to be the one who determines the "on-hold" music...
I've always thought using John Cage's "4 minutes 33 seconds" as
music-on-hold would be suitably surreal.
--
!Raised Tails! -:Tanuki:-
http://www.canismajor.demon.co.uk/index.htm
"It is not enough merely to succeed: the others must also fail"
Sheldon T. Hall
wrote:
> Actually, you want the other Helen - Ms. Waite.
Ohh, yeah. Particularly if you can rig up a way to put the caller on Ms.
Waite's line, and put 'em on hold in the process .... with bad music from a
slightly mistuned radio.
One joint I worked for used special names in their various advertisements,
so they would know what you were calling about and where you saw the ad. No
matter which one of the special names you asked for, you got a salesperson
who claimed to be <special_name>'s manager. And, once you got to a manager,
why would you ever deal with a lower-level drone, anyway. I thought it was
pretty clever, and so did the customers, or at least the ones that figured
it out.
Paul Tomblin
>One joint I worked for used special names in their various advertisements,
>so they would know what you were calling about and where you saw the ad. No
Yeah, lots of advertisers do that sort of thing. More frequently, they use
department or extension numbers in the address in the ad.
I do the reverse - I give different middle initials to different places, so I
can track how my name gets on different paper-spammer's mailing lists.
Sheldon T. Hall
>I do the reverse - I give different middle initials to different places, so I
>can track how my name gets on different paper-spammer's mailing lists.
I used to do that. Now I just let the junk mail roll in, and right back out
to the recyclers. It hardly stops moving.
I used to be so conscientious. I was trying to save a tree or two, so I'd
_call_ the catalog companies that sent me duplicate catalogs, and tell 'em
"one is more than enough." Like replying to spam e-mail, all it did was
confirm my existence and spur the junk-mailers on to greater feats of
derring-do.
Even after 4 address changes in 6 years, and a new wife who isn't shy about
telling the advertisers where to put their junk mail, I still get enough of
the stuff to heat the house.
Christian Bauernfeind
7670...@compuserve.com (Sheldon T. Hall) writes:
> On Tue, 6 Apr 1999 00:44:06 -0500, "Ralph Wade Phillips" <ral...@techie.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Actually, you want the other Helen - Ms. Waite.
>
> Ohh, yeah. Particularly if you can rig up a way to put the caller on Ms.
> Waite's line, and put 'em on hold in the process .... with bad music from a
> slightly mistuned radio.
>
Wouldn't that be Mr Waite - Tom?
Christian
--
Christian Bauernfeind
Not speaking for Siemens^H^H^H^H^H^H^HInfineon
Not even working for IBM
e-mail: v2ba...@fishkill.ibm.com
Joe Thompson
> * ref: Wired mag, some long time ago...yes, I used to read it...no, I
> don't anymore
Ah, but they had an actually cool issue on Y2K the other day, with a
well-put-together cover. See, it was black text, on a black cover, with
black art... -- Joe
--
Joe Thompson | http://kensey.home.mindspring.com/
fbi...@orion-com.com | PGP key: Finger joe-...@mindspring.com
AFU Axolotl of Scorn | 0- He-Who-Grinds-the-Unworthy
"[W]here are we going to get 100,000 pairs of lederhosen at this
hour?" -- ptomblin
Jasper Janssen
<p...@bmc.uu.se> wrote in
<Pine.SOL.3.96.990407...@loka.bmc.uu.se>:
>
>At least some publications do a version of the same thing: they have a
>"dummy" staffer who writes stories none of the regulars want to stand
>behind. If anyone calls it's "He's out right now. Can I take a message?"
>time.
Didn't the movie director's equivalent of said luser win an Oscar or
some such award recently?
Jasper
Christopher Milton
> >It'd be kind of cool to be the one who determines the "on-hold" music...
> I've always thought using John Cage's "4 minutes 33 seconds" as
> music-on-hold would be suitably surreal.
I've had that. Then the dialtone kicks in...
--
Christopher Milton <=|=> cmi...@bwn.net
http://www.bewellnet.com/cmilton/
> If oral sex falls under a sodomy statute, I need to get into the mouthwash
> business. -- Charles Cazabon in a.s.r.
col...@kuoi.asui.uidaho.edu
> canvass the world for just the right non-ghastly "on-hold" tune... But
Joining this with an older thread--the music from Star Control II has a lot
of potential for on-hold music. "Zoq-Fot-Pik" in particular. It's
irritatingly happy without being saccharine.
--
.signature Collin Forbes
void
<7670...@compuserve.com> wrote:
>
>Don't forget Ms. Hunt. First name, Helen.
The problem with that is that there is a Helen Hunt, and your average
luser has probably heard of her, since the average luser seems to watch a
lot of TV.
I rather liked her on stage as Viola (?) in Twelfth Night.
--
Ben
"You have your mind on computers, it seems."
Dan Lyke
: Didn't the movie director's equivalent of said luser win an Oscar or
: some such award recently?
"Alan Smithee" is the director's equivalent.
The director of "Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee film" decided towards
the end of the project that the movie sucked the tourists off Catalina
Island and removed his name from the project, thus making the title a bit
more apropos.
Dan
alissa bader
: ptom...@xcski.com (Paul Tomblin) wrote:
:>In a previous article, 7670...@compuserve.com said:
:>>One joint I worked for used special names in their various advertisements,
:>>so they would know what you were calling about and where you saw the ad
:>I do the reverse - I give different middle initials to different places, so I
:>can track how my name gets on different paper-spammer's mailing lists.
Speaking of paper-spamming, I always thought the worst thing you could do
was hook someone's name up with the Church of Scientology. But so far, I haven't
found anyone quite hateful enough to do this to. Okay, maybe certain ex-roommates.
Or maybe that bastard math teacher who almost flunked me in the eleventh grade.
Hm.
--
mol
mol...@interport.net
"from birth to freezer in 90 days"
Malcolm Ray
>Jasper Janssen (spa...@janssen.dynip.com) wrote:
>: Didn't the movie director's equivalent of said luser win an Oscar or
>: some such award recently?
>
>"Alan Smithee" is the director's equivalent.
I'm hoping to see that he's project manager for Windows 2000.
--
Malcolm Ray University of London Computer Centre
Christian Bauernfeind
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog <Tanuki@canis-^Hmajor.da^Hemon.co.uk> writes:
>
> I've always thought using John Cage's "4 minutes 33 seconds" as
> music-on-hold would be suitably surreal.
No, I would hate to stumble into that just in the middle.
Brian Kantor
>It'd be kind of cool to be the one who determines the "on-hold" music...
At the risk of being boringly repetitious, I still advocate the use
of William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as the
music-on-hold for the help line. You do want the callers to go away,
right?
- Brian
J. Eric Townsend
> How many of you folks also get stuck with administering The Company Phone
> System?
>
3) You can give yourself analog drops and hook up antiques. My 50's
Bakelite phone gets set up tomorrow, I think.
--
J. Eric Townsend jet at spies dot com http://www.spies.com/jet
"DOS stability issues always seemed such a pointless concern. Of course
it was stable, you can't fall out of the gutter." -- Peter da Silva
Bill Hay
>I've always wanted to set up a really good voice-response system...
>press 1 to be ignored, press two to go to the next menu kind of thing.
>Call it Voice Jail. *
>
a while. Unfortunately it wasn't perfect so they would eventually
get through to us bobs. This turned every 10 minute support call into
an hour long rant about:
a)The awfulness of the voice menu system.
b)The awfulness of the voice used to record it (our beloved PHB).
--
Humorous Quote
Boff
<7egonu$5vc$1...@karoshi.ucsd.edu>:
>At the risk of being boringly repetitious, I still advocate the use
>of William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as the
>music-on-hold for the help line. You do want the callers to go away,
>right?
The Kevorkian disconnect trick.
R too easy, no points.
Boff
d...@dan1el.free-online.co.uk
I can think of a couple of reasonable candidates for sonic torture.
Top of the list: the music from an old BBC B game called "Bugeyes II",
which sounded quite nice, for the first thirty seconds, then proceeded to
drive you completely nuts.
To follow, get hold of an album from a completely insane rock/metal band
called Lawnmower Deth. They only produced two or three albums before
splitting up, but those they did make were just the thing for annoying
lusers.
To give you a taste, imagine a song about a ten-stone (weight) goldfish,
or one about a search for beer after pub closing time. Guaranteed to piss
off lusers...
--
Dan Holdsworth d...@dan1el.free-online.co.uk
Windows 95: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of
an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit
company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.
Greg Andrews
>In article <8DA29FCDCbof...@news2.new-york.net>,
>Boff <boff...@pilat.com> wrote:
>>Brian Kantor <br...@karoshi.ucsd.edu> muttered something in
>><7egonu$5vc$1...@karoshi.ucsd.edu>:
>>
>>>At the risk of being boringly repetitious, I still advocate the use
>>>of William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as the
>>>music-on-hold for the help line. You do want the callers to go away,
>>>right?
>
> Metal Machine Music
> OnoBox
> Trout Mask Replica
> (Transformed Man would fit nicely in there)
> and , as coup de grace, a Billboard Top Ten CD from
> any year 1968-1972, just to break the monotony.
>
I'm working up the nerve to record my outgoing voicemail greeting
with Spinal Tap's _Hell Hole_ playing in the background.
-Greg (just that little extra push over the cliff)
David Jacoby
Boff <boff...@pilat.com> wrote:
>Brian Kantor <br...@karoshi.ucsd.edu> muttered something in
><7egonu$5vc$1...@karoshi.ucsd.edu>:
>
>>At the risk of being boringly repetitious, I still advocate the use
>>of William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as the
>>music-on-hold for the help line. You do want the callers to go away,
>>right?
Use the Lease-Breaker set:
Metal Machine Music
OnoBox
Trout Mask Replica
(Transformed Man would fit nicely in there)
and , as coup de grace, a Billboard Top Ten CD from
any year 1968-1972, just to break the monotony.
--
David Jacoby mailto:jac...@ecn.purdue.edu
Lead Web Technician, ECE http://www.ecn.purdue.edu/~jacoby/
Can surgery and multiplayer Doom coexist on a network? -- Stephen Wolff
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
<ge...@shell1.ncal.verio.com> scrobe:
>I'm working up the nerve to record my outgoing voicemail greeting
>with Spinal Tap's _Hell Hole_ playing in the background.
So far I've resisted the urge to load an outgoing message with
a Latin mass being chanted softly in the background, and a
rather sepulchral voice saying "Thank you for calling. We've
all taken a Vow of Silence, so although we are listening to
your call, we cannot answer. Please email us, as our Vow
does not prohibit our typing replies".
--
!Raised Tails! -:Tanuki:-
http://www.canismajor.demon.co.uk/index.htm
"Be Happy. Be root"
Charles Gimon
Now it's my job to yell at people in a variety of North American
cities til we get it back. Thought on my mind: why waste cruise
missiles on telco installations in Serbia, when there are so many
deserving targets in $big_telco?
--
Wild new Ubik salad dressing, not | gim...@skypoint.com
Italian, not French, but an entirely | Minneapolis MN USA
new and different taste treat that's | http://www.skypoint.com/~gimonca
waking up the world! | A lean, mean meme machine.
Jasper Janssen
wrote in <nkpge7.5m.ln@dan1el>:
>Top of the list: the music from an old BBC B game called "Bugeyes II",
>which sounded quite nice, for the first thirty seconds, then proceeded to
>drive you completely nuts.
Any BBC games' music is usually quite annoying.
Frak, Bonecruncher are definitely annoying, IIRC, for example.
By contrast, Mr EE did rather well.
Jasper
Peter Corlett
[...]
> At the risk of being boringly repetitious, I still advocate the use of
> William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" as the
> music-on-hold for the help line. You do want the callers to go away,
> right?
My cow-orkers have just discovered a web site full of Soundtracker modules
circa 1991, and they have been playing them full blast.[0] *sniff*. Brings
back memories that does.
I appear to have a CD-ROM here titled "Demo Collection", but should be
titled "stuff even the warez kiddies wouldn't touch".[1] I also appear to
have a large stack of Amiga floppies around full of demos and whatnot. I
feel like taking in the Amiga 600 and torturing them for a while until they
stop.
If that doesn't work, I might have to dig out some of my older kit, circa
1984. Original Elite, anybody?
[0] Makes a change from the other "music" they play full blast. ATM it
appears to be "Drum and Bass" on some broken CD player with some fscked
speakers so even good music sounds awful. I tested Flanders and Swann on
it to see what it would do - it wouldn't play it on the grounds that the
CD was too tasteful.
[1] The notes on the CD comment that there are a few bugs (half the files
are corrupt - they don't comment on this) but that it would be fixed for
the next release. AFAIK, there wasn't another release and the world was
saved for another day.
--
http://www.verrine.demon.co.uk/
B13 Cabal Member Cuius rei demonstrationem mirabilem sane
detexi hanc marginis exiguitas non caperet
Stephen Harris
: 1984. Original Elite, anybody?
BBC Disk version, hacked to run from 100K RAMDISK[1]. All the fun of the disk
version, none of the slowdowns waiting for the floppy :-)
[1] Solidisk 128K v2 ram board.
--
rgds
Stephen
Jake Riddoch
>> Phone guy, indeed. Our long distance service went bye-bye yesterday.
>> Now it's my job to yell at people in a variety of North American
>> cities til we get it back. Thought on my mind: why waste cruise
>> missiles on telco installations in Serbia, when there are so many
>> deserving targets in $big_telco?
>
>non-y2k complaint munitions.
I can just imagine the scene in the Pentagon:
"Damn it, we have all these missiles that won't work after 1st January!
It'll cost us millions to fix them, and think of the trouble!"
"How about we just fire them at somebody before the end of the year!
Then we won't have to fix them!"
"Yeah, Serbia's been acting up a bit; let's go attack them!"
Whole new method of "fixing" Y2K problems; just launch non-compliant
hardware at your enemies. Wonder how many old [234]86's we can launch
towards Redmond, with the hope that it gets buried without a trace
there?
--
Jake Riddoch http://www.larien.demon.co.uk/
"Having a big ball is *essential*." Joe Thompson in the Scary Devil Monastery.
Jasper Janssen
wrote in <7enf4s$3qf$1...@verrine.demon.co.uk>:
>If that doesn't work, I might have to dig out some of my older kit, circa
>1984. Original Elite, anybody?
ArcElite. No contest :)
Jasper
Paul Mc Auley
| In article <7emq2k$pej$1...@shell1.ncal.verio.com>, Greg Andrews
| <ge...@shell1.ncal.verio.com> scrobe:
| >I'm working up the nerve to record my outgoing voicemail greeting
| >with Spinal Tap's _Hell Hole_ playing in the background.
| So far I've resisted the urge to load an outgoing message with
| a Latin mass being chanted softly in the background, and a
| rather sepulchral voice saying "Thank you for calling. We've
| all taken a Vow of Silence, so although we are listening to
| your call, we cannot answer. Please email us, as our Vow
| does not prohibit our typing replies".
Beautiful. Unlikely to convince them, but beautiful.
I _still_ want to track down a source of that tune from "The Gallery" on
assorted Tony Hart programs, and more lately, the VW Polo and Ambrosia
ad's. Alternatively the audio track from "Tales from the Far Side". I had
been thinking in terms of hold music, but now that I think of it, it would
make a dandy OGM too. No voice, just the music.
Paul.
--
--- Paul Mc Auley <pmca...@iol.ie>
--
- Expense Accounts, n.: Corporate food stamps.
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
<pmca...@iol.ie> scrobe:
>Tanuki the Raccoon-dog wrote on Sat, 10 Apr 1999 09:08:09 +0100:
>| a Latin mass being chanted softly in the background, and a
>| rather sepulchral voice saying "Thank you for calling. We've
>| all taken a Vow of Silence, so although we are listening to
>| your call, we cannot answer. Please email us, as our Vow
>| does not prohibit our typing replies".
>
>Beautiful. Unlikely to convince them, but beautiful.
>
>I _still_ want to track down a source of that tune from "The Gallery" on
>assorted Tony Hart programs, and more lately, the VW Polo and Ambrosia
>ad's.
Aaargh! You mean the plinky-plonky tune played on a xylophone or
whatever it was? That tune which, once heard, sticks in your mind
like a stubborn grain of sand in an intimate place, causing annoyance
and frustration out of all proportion to reality?
Playing it through a subliminal audio channel on the PHB's PC is
the *only* suitable use for _that_ music. Dammit, now you've
reminded me of it, i'll have it in my head for *days*, unless I
self-administer some serious white-noise therapy.
Greg Andrews
>In article <7emq2k$pej$1...@shell1.ncal.verio.com>, Greg Andrews
><ge...@shell1.ncal.verio.com> scrobe:
>>I'm working up the nerve to record my outgoing voicemail greeting
>>with Spinal Tap's _Hell Hole_ playing in the background.
>
>a Latin mass being chanted softly in the background, and a
>rather sepulchral voice saying "Thank you for calling. We've
>all taken a Vow of Silence, so although we are listening to
>your call, we cannot answer. Please email us, as our Vow
>does not prohibit our typing replies".
>
Heh. Then, of course, there's always Cheech and Chong's
"Get Out Of My Room And Leave Me Alone"...
-Greg
Greg Andrews
>> Phone guy, indeed. Our long distance service went bye-bye yesterday.
>> Now it's my job to yell at people in a variety of North American
>> cities til we get it back. Thought on my mind: why waste cruise
>> missiles on telco installations in Serbia, when there are so many
>> deserving targets in $big_telco?
>
>don't think of it as wasting missiles, think of it as getting rid of
>non-y2k complaint munitions.
>
My new boss is ex-military, and he's telling a story
about having dinner with a general or admiral last week
who said the cruise missiles used in^H^Hon Serbia were
scheduled for demolition in December anyway because of
y2k non-compliance.
Wonder if that'll cause a one-day cease fire around the
globe on new year's day?[1]
-Greg
[1] preceeded, of course, by excess carnage the day before[2]
[2] ring in the new year with a bang!
Joe Thompson
> My new boss is ex-military, and he's telling a story
> about having dinner with a general or admiral last week
> who said the cruise missiles used in^H^Hon Serbia were
> scheduled for demolition in December anyway because of
> y2k non-compliance.
>
> Wonder if that'll cause a one-day cease fire around the
> globe on new year's day?[1]
>
> -Greg
>
> [1] preceeded, of course, by excess carnage the day before[2]
> [2] ring in the new year with a bang!
There's a site somewhere (rummage, rummage... here it is!
http://www.meteorfire.org/) that advocates using old decommissioned cruise
missiles as giant fireworks on New Year's Eve 2000. It's either utterly
brilliant or utterly cracked... -- Joe
Joe Thompson
fbi...@orion-com.com (Joe Thompson) wrote:
> There's a site somewhere (rummage, rummage... here it is!
> http://www.meteorfire.org/) that advocates using old decommissioned cruise
> missiles as giant fireworks on New Year's Eve 2000. It's either utterly
> brilliant or utterly cracked... -- Joe
Gah, I was more tired than I thought today. I spelled "ICBMs" wrong. -- Joe
--
Joe Thompson | http://kensey.home.mindspring.com/
fbi...@orion-com.com | PGP key: Finger joe-...@mindspring.com
AFU Axolotl of Scorn | 0- He-Who-Grinds-the-Unworthy
"a llama two sheep and a weasel" -- ehmunro, #userfriendly
Chris Saundo Saunderson
> Phone guy, indeed. Our long distance service went bye-bye yesterday.
> Now it's my job to yell at people in a variety of North American
> cities til we get it back. Thought on my mind: why waste cruise
> missiles on telco installations in Serbia, when there are so many
> deserving targets in $big_telco?
I think I've spotted the flaw in your plan - unless you're
planning on just hitting PHB-central at $big_telco, you're making
life more difficult for yourself. The collateral damage
on the hidden clued people will make things interesting
for return of service.
"Well, they think it's a powdered milk plant, but it's really
our NOC".
Saundo
--
Chris "Saundo" Saunderson sau...@idx.com.au
Unix Guy Powered by Linux and the Orb.
"Mind surfing on a 30 foot wall of sound" (Def FX)
Stephen Harris
: Gotta love those universal 19" rack keys. But don't tell anyone.
I was wandering around the Sara facilities[1] a few months ago, waiting for
a Sun engineer to come and fix my E3500 hosted there, and was watching the
blinkenlights on the Amsterdaam Internet Exchange (or whatever they call it
these days) and looking at other co-hosted boxes when I noticed the same
thing... :-)
[1] Science park just outside Amsterdaam I think! Used to host the big
mainframes for .nl academic community and still have a Cray or two and
are building the "Cave" virtual environment
--
rgds
Stephen
Paul Martin
>I _still_ want to track down a source of that tune from "The Gallery" on
>assorted Tony Hart programs, and more lately, the VW Polo and Ambrosia
It's called "Left Bank One" or something similar. Don't know the artist,
and I'm not too sure of the title. The BBC occasionally release[1] CDs of
theme tunes.
[0] Obligatory unreferenced footnote.
[1] Read: allow to escape.
[2] After Roget
--
Paul Martin <p...@zetnet.net>
at home, swap dash to dot to email.
Paul Mc Auley
| In article <slrn7h1cj0....@news.iol.ie>, Paul Mc Auley wrote:
| >I _still_ want to track down a source of that tune from "The Gallery" on
| >assorted Tony Hart programs, and more lately, the VW Polo and Ambrosia
| It's called "Left Bank One" or something similar. Don't know the artist,
| and I'm not too sure of the title. The BBC occasionally release[1] CDs of
| theme tunes.
Somebody was kind enough to point me at
http://www.meldrum.co.uk/mhp/testcard/index.html
And it turns out to be called "Left Bank 2".
Paul.
--
--- Paul Mc Auley <pmca...@iol.ie>
--
- Do not meddle in the affairs of troff,
for it is subtle and quick to anger.
Chris Suslowicz
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog <Tanuki@canis-^Hmajor.da^Hemon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <slrn7h1cj0....@news.iol.ie>, Paul Mc Auley
><pmca...@iol.ie> scrobe:
>>I _still_ want to track down a source of that tune from "The Gallery" on
>>assorted Tony Hart programs, and more lately, the VW Polo and Ambrosia
>>ad's.
>
>Aaargh! You mean the plinky-plonky tune played on a xylophone or
>whatever it was? That tune which, once heard, sticks in your mind
>like a stubborn grain of sand in an intimate place, causing annoyance
>and frustration out of all proportion to reality?
A looped extract of the last track of the koyaanisquatsi soundtrack.
It sounds as though it's going somewhere, but never does...
Then again, *I* didn't suggest: "I've got a brand new combine harvester"
for the Massey-Ferguson music on hold. Funny how the cassette vanished
very shortly thereafter, though. Perhaps it was the Evil Grin.... 8-)>
Chris.
--
"With its' diet of keycaps, mouse-balls and Ethernet terminators, the
Aardvax can be a potentially serious pest in computer installations"
-- Tanuki in a.s.r
Paul Martin
>| It's called "Left Bank One" or something similar. Don't know the artist,
>| and I'm not too sure of the title. The BBC occasionally release[1] CDs of
>| theme tunes.
>
>Somebody was kind enough to point me at
> http://www.meldrum.co.uk/mhp/testcard/index.html
>
>And it turns out to be called "Left Bank 2".
What's worse is that it's been released as a CD single.
Artist: The Lance Gambit Trio
Title: Left Bank 2
Label: Box Tree Music
http://www.curiousgoods.demon.co.uk/reviews/gambit.htm
If anyone considers this UI, I'm willing to buy myself the CD as an
autolart.
Abigail
<URL:news:7fdh20$27h$1...@Garfield.IAE.nl>:
++
++ Amsterdam... transportation sucks... you can't get around by car, bikes get
++ stolen, trams get stuck. Sometimes I think it would be easier to nuke it and
++ start all over again.. this time with a decent subway network.
I've a much better solution for Amsterdam: nuke it. Done.
Abigail
Ben
(Thorfinn) writes:
> In alt.sysadmin.recovery, on 18 Apr 1999 20:58:40 GMT
> Perry Rovers <Perry....@IAE.nl> wrote:
> > Amsterdam... transportation sucks... you can't get around by car, bikes get
> > stolen, trams get stuck. Sometimes I think it would be easier to nuke it and
> > start all over again.. this time with a decent subway network.
>
> Hrm. Amtrak wars, anyone?
>
> *runs away very fast before being killed for mentioning the books*
Hey! I _like_ those books. Just because Patrick Tilley was a little...
different doesn't mean his plot was anything other than a new take on the
American Railroad Dream being taken to fruition (-:
And starting them young; who was it who said "Give them to me for the first
three grades..." or similar. I dunno, by the time they're 14 they're ready
to program, fly a light aircraft and defend their loved ones and their way
of life.
Admittedly they're brainwashed and seem to be sterile, but who's
nitpicking?
Ben
--
"I'm sorry, you must be confusing | B...@lspace.org, B...@gits.co.uk
me with someone who gives a damn." | http://bofh.gits.co.uk <- PARODY
Abbot, Cambridge Chapter of the Monks of Cool since MCMXCVI a.d.
Steve Glover
<B...@lspace.org> writes
>Hey! I _like_ those books. Just because Patrick Tilley was a little...
>different
For values of 'a little different' equal to running away from a con he
was guest of honour at, leaving only a note claiming he'd found a space
warp and had climbed down a pair of shoe-laces into it...
He did, though, have the grace to blush when one of the concomm ran into
him at a signing a year or so later, and asked him to sign the book 'to
the Wincon committee'.
Trouble is, this was the start of the Great Wincon Tradition of losing a
guest each and every time. The trouble is, they've got Diana Wynne Jones
this year, and given her recent back problems, I *really* hope they lose
someone else...
Steve
--
Steve Glover
Peter Corlett
[...]
> I've a much better solution for Amsterdam: nuke it. Done.
Wah! Don't do that! I happen to quite like Amsterdam.
Now if you want to nuke somewhere, try some of the large UK cities. Start
with London, Manchester and Leeds. You're welcome to Birmingham too, but
give me a chance to get out of the way first.
I'd suggest Redmond, but there's probably enough nukes pointed there
already.
Paul Martin
>Now if you want to nuke somewhere, try some of the large UK cities. Start
>with London, Manchester and Leeds. You're welcome to Birmingham too, but
>give me a chance to get out of the way first.
Don't you think a one ton bomb wasn't enough for Manchester?
(I had a nice demonstration of the speed of sound as I was on the phone to
the office which is about half a mile from where the bang happened, and I
was about 6 miles from the bang.)
It's just a pity that we're still stuck with the Arndale Centre. (I agree
with Bill Bryson on its architecture.)
Ben
(Paul Martin) writes:
What? I always thought it looked like a men's urinal.
ObBombExperience: I cycled past that white van at 9:30am and as I passed
Marks and Sparks I though "He's going to get a ticket." I was in Rusholme
when the thing went off.
Luckily I was in a pub when I heard the details.
Geoff Lane
p...@nowster-zetnet.co.uk (Paul Martin) writes:
> It's just a pity that we're still stuck with the Arndale Centre. (I agree
> with Bill Bryson on its architecture.)
Agreed it looks like a public toilet but the real crime was distruction of
the _seven_ pubs that were in the area cleared[0].
[0] Two pubs (approx 300 years old) were rescued by _moving_ them a few
hundred yards down the road on dirty great platforms[1].
[1] Both have now moved again about 1/2 mile to a different location[2], but
this time they were dismantled and re-assembled.
[2] Side effect of the bomb - they got in the way of the city planners nice
new plans...
--
Geoff. Lane. Manchester Computing
Today's Excuse:
dynamic software linking table corrupted
Nix
> Now if you want to nuke somewhere, try some of the large UK cities. Start
> with London, Manchester and Leeds. You're welcome to Birmingham too, but
> give me a chance to get out of the way first.
Do as in _Moonseed_. Replace Edinburgh, Glasgow --- hell, Scotland ---
with a volcano.
--
`SCSI uses odd parity checking such that the number of logical 1's in a
given bit should always result in an odd number.' - a truly unique
definition of parity checking
Christian Bauernfeind
p...@nowster-zetnet.co.uk (Paul Martin) writes:
>
> It's just a pity that we're still stuck with the Arndale Centre. (I agree
> with Bill Bryson on its architecture.)
>
Yup, and I was rather sad to see the Cotton Exchange go.
Christian
--
Christian Bauernfeind
Not speaking for Siemens^H^H^H^H^H^H^HInfineon
Not even working for IBM
e-mail: v2ba...@fishkill.ibm.com
Quentin Stephens
>And starting them young; who was it who said "Give them to me for the first
>three grades..." or similar. I dunno, by the time they're 14 they're ready
>to program, fly a light aircraft and defend their loved ones and their way
>of life.
The Pride of Miss Jean Brodie.
qts
Usenet readers please reverse the elements of my given address to get my real one
Will Rose
: On Wed, 21 Apr 1999 07:42:16 GMT, Ben wrote:
:>And starting them young; who was it who said "Give them to me for the first
:>three grades..." or similar. I dunno, by the time they're 14 they're ready
:>to program, fly a light aircraft and defend their loved ones and their way
:>of life.
: The Pride of Miss Jean Brodie.
I remember that movie; it was in a double feature with Florence of Arabia.
The quote, however, was from a Jesuit: "Give me child for the first
seven years and he is mine for life". Who actually spoke it is a moot
point; my guess would be Mazarin or De Richelieu, but that's only a
guess.
Dan Holdsworth
ab...@verrine.demon.co.uk (Peter Corlett) writes:
|> Abigail <abi...@fnx.com> wrote:
|> [...]
|> > I've a much better solution for Amsterdam: nuke it. Done.
|>
|> Wah! Don't do that! I happen to quite like Amsterdam.
|>
|> with London, Manchester and Leeds. You're welcome to Birmingham too, but
|> give me a chance to get out of the way first.
Nah, Leeds is spoken for already.
Had the cold war suddenly gotten warm, then south leeds wouldn've copped one
nuke per power station, probably one or two for the city centre, and a few
just out of town on TheSecretArmyBaseThatShallNotBeMarkedOnMaps [1]
Looking over Leeds, though, you'll notice that the main comms towers are all
extremely well built. The idea was that even if the dishes got blasted off
thetower by a nuke, it wouldn't matter. All you'd have to do is replace them
with the ones in the blast bunker under the tower...
|> I'd suggest Redmond, but there's probably enough nukes pointed there
|> already.
Nah, just send Mr Gates an invitation to a party somewhere next to an army
base. Even if the place doesn't get nuked, someone'll probably get drunk, hit
him with a cream pie or something...
--
Dan Holdsworth d...@dan1el.free-online.co.uk
Windows 95: A 32-bit patch for a 16-bit GUI shell running on top of
an 8-bit operating system written for a 4-bit processor by a 2-bit
company who cannot stand 1 bit of competition.
[1] Menwith Hill. It's not on any map[2], although it features large in the minds
of the conspiracy theorists, anti-merkin peeps, and anti-industrial-spying
lot.
[2] This is a Cunning Plan (tm) to prevent the russians invading us, and
destroying the place. Who'd have thought that the russians wouldn't already
have their own maps...?
Tim Wright
Holdsworth) wrote:
>[1] Menwith Hill. It's not on any map[2], although it features large in
the minds
>of the conspiracy theorists, anti-merkin peeps, and anti-industrial-spying
>lot.
From http://www.menwithhill.co.uk/
"Located near idylic Nidderdale in the tranquil Yorkshire Dales, Menwith
Hill has SO MUCH to offer. Whether you are a day-tripping family, a
dissident, or simply an amateur espionage enthusiast, a visit to Menwith
Hill spy base will delight and enthrall you."
Mark Thomas doesn't always hit the mark, but in this instance[1] he was
bang on, IMHO.
Cheers,
Tim.
[1] Menwith Hill balloon tours. Basically, the airspace over Menwith Hill
isn't restricted, so Mark Thomas started running sightseeing trips over
it. See URL.
--
It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes
of statistics.
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
plimited.com.invalid> said
>In article <v19tf7.7n.ln@dan1el>, d...@dan1el.free-online.co.uk (Dan
>Holdsworth) wrote:
>>[1] Menwith Hill. It's not on any map[2], although it features large in
>the minds
>>of the conspiracy theorists, anti-merkin peeps, and anti-industrial-spying
>>lot.
>
>From http://www.menwithhill.co.uk/
>
>"Located near idylic Nidderdale in the tranquil Yorkshire Dales, Menwith
>Hill has SO MUCH to offer. Whether you are a day-tripping family, a
>dissident, or simply an amateur espionage enthusiast, a visit to Menwith
>Hill spy base will delight and enthrall you."
Some years ago, on my way to marshal a motorsport event at
Harewood, i stopped in what looked to be a nice parking-place
at the side of the A59 to get some sleep[1]. About half an
hour later I was woken by all these men in uniform[2] waving
flashlights. I guess parking alongside a secret military
comms. base at night in a Land Rover covered with radio
antennas/stuffed full of comms gear, and with a telescopic
mast bolted to the rear, is considered suspicious.
[1]The RAC Rally takes place over 4 or 5 days. You get tired...
[2]some of which were quite cute, i must admit.