I love surrealism
Geoffrey Spear
> I love surrealism. Actually, I'm lying. I really just want to get laid. I
> got sick of alt. sex so I'm here to contaminate other topics until everything
> is alt sex no matter what the title is. Don't fight it just go withit,
> there's nothing you can do. I've also posted in fractals and Canadian
> politics, so don't get offended. I could care less about art but I actually
> do find Dali very interesting, but enough of that. How about some anal
> sex? Hey ladies you know you want a big paintbrush up the poopshoot.
> I am looking for a nasty bitch to suck my dick too. It's also good
> if you have big tits. I'm also the guy who flashes small children.
> I know you hate me but I'm here. It's a free UNIX and I will speak my
> mind. So, how about that Geometricus Child? How about my dick in your
> ass? Fuck you! See you later. -Nick
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
(original by David Parsons)
ATTN: Nick Mieuli
I took exception to your recent _X_ post to _alt.surrealism_____
(newsgroup)
___ email
It was (check all that apply):
_X_ lame.
___ stupid.
_X_ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capabbe.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
___ what you posted/said has been done before.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
___ your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of ______________________.
(net.personality)
___ your post/mail originated on FidoNet.
___ your post/mail originated on Delphi.
___ your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, or
Notesfile.
___ your post contained commercial advertising.
THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please remit immediately to:
Usenet News
Network Security & Standards Patrol
3 Cielo Vista Terrace
Monterey, CA 93940
or your posting privileges will be cancelled.
_X_ your post/letter contained numerous spelling errors.
_X_ your post/letter contained multiple grammatical errors.
___ YOUR POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!
___ you posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission.
___ you posted a "rmgroup" message without Bruce Becker's permission.
___ your post/letter was an obvious forgery.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ It was done clumsily.
___ you have a lame login name.
_X_ your machine has a stupid name.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.
___ you quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ lines
of text.
___ you quoted an article in followup and only added the line "Me, too!!!"
___ you predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".
___ you asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".
___ you flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
___ you flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.
___ your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.
___ you failed to check the "Followups-To:" line.
___ your .sig is longer than four lines.
(Mark only if above checked)
___ And your newsreader truncated it.
___ your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):
___ you listed ___ snail mail address(es).
(Mark only if above checked)
___ you listed a nine-digit ZIP code.
___ you listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.
___ you included a stupid disclaimer.
(Mark only if above also)
___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed.
(Mark only if above also)
___ Miserably.
___ you included:
(Mark all that apply)
___ a stupid self-quote.
___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.
___ a Rush Limbaugh quote.
___ a Dan Quayle joke.
___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead.
___ lame ASCII graphic(s) (Choose all that apply):
___ USS Enterprise
___ Australia
___ The Amiga logo
___ Company logo
(Mark only if above also)
___ and you stated that you don't speak for your employer.
___ Bicycle
___ Bart Simpson
Furthermore:
_X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of _alt.surrealism____.
(newsgroup)
_X_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net.
_X_ You are a loser.
___ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this
cllueless.
_X_ *plonk*
___ This has been pointed out to you before.
_X_ It is recommended that you:
(Mark all that apply)
___ stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up.
___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.
___ get a gun and shoot yourself.
_X_ stop reading Usenet news and get a life.
___ stop sending email and get a life.
___ consume excrement.
___ consume excrement and thus expire.
Additional comments:
"It's a free UNIX"? BSD, right?
geoff spear |"It's never too late to be annoying"
gsp...@cmu.edu | - bbz
Nick Mieuli
R Buckingham
Bugsie.
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Bugsie. " I'd Rather be Flying! "
Richard Buckingham _|_
cs...@scs.leeds.ac.uk ____/___\____
___________[=0=]___________
" A 'Dog is for life, not just for weekends. " o/ o \o
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