Surrealism Test Answers Received [4/4]
bravedog
I'm absolutely positive about this.
This is absolutely true.
There's solid evidence that ...
>2.Make up and list three new lies.
Can't think up new ones: the old are good enough.
>3.Is anyone more important to you than yourself? anything?
My prejudices. I just wished to know which are they, they elude me.
>4.Why are you here [job, school, etc.]? What importance or significance do
>you attach to it?
I just drifted into this position.
Importance: survival.
>5.Do you often feel exalted or especially joyous? How do your peak moments
>tend to come about? What form do they take?
Yes.
When I feel the need to communicate.
I communicate until exhaustion or lack of an audience.
>6.What things, activities, etc. do you most enjoy?
Discussion. Introspection. Sleep. Sex. Eating. A good drink. Teaching.
>7.Are you happy?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes neither. I feel balanced.
>8.Do you have any phobias or irrational fears?
I used to feel extremely uncomfortable in the middle of crowds, but
it faded into a mere bore.
>9.How often are you afraid? What of?
Seldom.
When I think of it, I'm usually afraid of being afraid, or of losing
my mind one way or the other.
>10.How often are you lonely?
Seldom. I'm used to live with my Self.
>11.What do you expect from love? Hope for?
Absolutely nothing.
>12.What importance do you attribute to sex?
Top. Sex is the most specialized activity for an individual and
requires the most and best in her/him.
>13.Are you successfully adjusted to your own sexuality?
Whithin reasonable and possible.
>14.What importance do you attribute to physical beauty or ugliness? How do
>you think it relates to spiritual qualities?
Emotional importance.
Both can promote spiritual / emotional growth in the observer.
>15.How close do you want/allow yourself to get to others? How close do
>others want to get?
Depends on who's the object of my desire for closeness, does it not?
Given that, it's all or nothing.
Others? How can I know that?
>16.What kind of person are you attracted to?
Those I like.
>17.When is the first time you fell in love? The last time? How many times
>between?
First time: around 1964.
Last time: this year.
In between: Dunno. Quite a few.
>18.What do you think of pornography?
Didactic. As many things didactic, it gets boring, especially when
they're telling me what I already know, or doing what I do.
>19.What do you think of the majority of men?
Nice people.
>20.What do you think of the majority of women?
Nice people, and also fuckable.
>21.Are you male or female?
Male.
>22.What patterns do you see in your life?
I'll be always second, never first and never third. I'll always have
money enough, but never enough to spare. I'll have a quiet life and
quietly hear lots of bullshit.
>23.How do you envision your own future?
I don't. I'll see it when I'll get there. What's the hurry? Why spoil
the fun?
>24.How old do you think you'll live to? How long would you like to live?
>About how old are you now?
I don't know, right? I may be dead in two seconds. And then I may be
punished with a long life until I'm 99.
I lived enough for my immediate needs: there's more to live, but
nothing pressing, and nothing pending.
41.
>25.How do you envision the future of the world?
It's going to stay around, much the same as it's been in the last 3000
years.
>26.What is most depressing to you?
Other people's prejudices which conflict with mine.
>27.What form do your depressions take [direction, symptoms,etc.]?
I despair on the futility of things, then stop eating.
Then if everything goes ok, I get hungry, eat a bit, despair a little
more, and get myself to work or take a vacation, and in a week all
systems go.
>28.How often do you cry?
About once every five years.
>29.Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
Yes.
>30.How often do you think of death? What do you think?
Everyday. It's gonna be an unique experience!
>31.Do you believe in an afterlife?
I really don't know, though I like the idea a lot. But, you know, one
life is quite enough.
>32.Have you ever tried to commit suicide? What do you think of suicide?
Yes (and be sure it would have been quite well done.)
Suicide is sick.
>33.Is insanity a solution?
Can be; the best one, though, is seeming to be sane.
>34.How often do you remember your dreams?
Quite well, depending on my interest in recalling them.
>35.What kind of sensory data do your dreams have [which senses, detail,
>memory, etc.]?
Sight, touch, audition (no smell, no taste.) Detail from totally
realistic to completely blurred. Good memory.
>36.Are you present in all of your dreams?
No.
>37.Have you ever died in a dream?
No.
>38.What importance or significance do you attach to dreams?
They show me my basic irrationality and it's rationale.
>39.What is your first memory?
Everything was a mesmerizing big bright whitish-pink blur.
>40.What importance or significance do you attach to memories?
A repository of knowledge and a trashcan of emotions. Something which
is no longer 'me' but still is mine.
>41.What importance do you attribute to life, that is, everything living?
Just more life as we know it.
>42.Do you believe in ESP or other paranormal phenomena? What paranormal or
>unexplainable experiences, if any, have you had?
Few things were as well studied as ESP (Rhine Institute), so I don't
have to believe in them, the way I don't believe in science either. If
the Rhine experiments stopped, then the argument for stopping
(interference by the observer) would stop science altogether: excess
of honesty.
Unexplained: now that would be too long.
>43.Are animals conscious? Plants? Rocks? What are your feelings about
>killing plants and animals to eat?
I'm an animal. Hopefully, so are you. I doubt whether I'm conscious.
Anyway I don't know what consciousness is.
Plants, rocks... maybe. Not my problem, anyway.
I eat them, they'll eat me. Fair.
>44.Do you believe in God? What do you mean by God?
Now that's a very wide gray area.
>45.Do you feel any obligation to work to improve the world?
The world??? Why the heck? I'm having plenty of trouble trying to
improve myself already! Anyway, that's where the world begins, right?
So it looks like a good starting point.
>46.What do you spend your money on?
Books and computer gizmos. When I have money to spend, of course.
>47.What do you get out of any artistic activity you do or see? Why?
Somehow, two years ago I suddenly stopped getting any kicks out of art.
>48.What importance or significance do you attribute to the imagination?
Everything is imagination. (see answer to q. 2) This included.
>49.What importance or significance do you attribute to science?
Nice method. Seems to work, but I can't figure out why.
>50.How much time do you spend thinking? What significance do you attribute
>to it?
Hours and hours a day.
Great aerobics. Keeps one's mind healthy and balanced.
>51.Do you like yourself? Do you think you would like someone else who was
>you?
Oh, yes, you bet! :))
I'd kill him at once. There can only be one me at a time.
>52.Do you like your body? What sense do you most appreciate?
A lot. Though a bit old, it serves me well.
Touch.
>53.Do you think you are unusual? How?
Of course I do.
I'm unique like everybody else.
>54.What is important?
Whatever you believe is important.
>55.What is the best thing you have ever done?
Teaching.
>56.What is the worst thing you have ever done?
Again, teaching.
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1.List three lies you have spoken recently. Do not make up any new ones.
a) I'm fine.
b) I'll do it this afternoon.
c) I've got to stay in, I'm expecting a phonecall.
2.Make up and list three new lies.
a) I enjoy my job.
b) Naturally I've read "War in Peace".
c) Of course I still want to spend time with you.
3.Is anyone more important to you than yourself? anything?
Yes. Several things (no _person_, I don't think) actually. One of which -
ironically - is 'how others see me'. Also my personal code of conduct/
morality probably works out as being more important than myself given
the ludicrous problems I've generated for myself by adhering to it.
4.Why are you here [job, school, etc.]? What importance or significance do
you attach to it?
Job: I am here to earn money. I attach no significance to it whatsoever,
except that it is important that I have enough money to eat and pay
rent.
5.Do you often feel exalted or especially joyous? How do your peak moments
tend to come about? What form do they take?
Yes, quite often. My peak moments come about through a variety of ways...
writing something I believe to be worthwhile, using euphoria inducing
drugs (of many descriptions), listening to good music.
Form: usually an ego-boost, stimulated pleasure centres, general feeling
of well-being.
6.What things, activities, etc. do you most enjoy?
writing, reading, consuming mind-altering chemicals, talking to my friends.
7.Are you happy?
At this very moment: no.
In general: quite probably.
8.Do you have any phobias or irrational fears?
Yes. I have a genuine phobia of werewolves. I break out in a cold-sweat
and become irrational if I am outside alone when there is a full moon. Go
figure.
9.How often are you afraid? What of?
Rarely. Werewolves mostly (I have doubtlessly taken all of the things I
_should_ be scared of... failure, being an asshole, etc. and transferred
them to this one huge *irrational* phobia... thus, I seem to lead a
relatively fear-free existence except for those three nights in every 28)
10.How often are you lonely?
Rarely.
11.What do you expect from love? Hope for?
Expect nothing. Hope for much... a person with whom I can truly "share"
my life, and who shares their life with me. A person who puts my happiness
above their own, and a person whose happiness I put above my own.
12.What importance do you attribute to sex?
Less than most people (I believe), but more than I'd like to.
13.Are you successfully adjusted to your own sexuality?
Pretty much.
14.What importance do you attribute to physical beauty or ugliness? How do
you think it relates to spiritual qualities?
I am easily stimulated by aesthetics. In people, I place far more importance
on their physical appearance than I feel comfortable with. I find myself
far more likely to speak to a physically beautiful person than a non-
beautiful one. This makes me feel slightly bad.
I doubt very much that it has much relation to spirituality, except that a
beautiful object, piece of art or person can stimulate spiritual feelings
in the observer.
15.How close do you want/allow yourself to get to others? How close do
others want to get?
I have great difficulty allowing others to get close to me. I would like
to change that. Those who are my friends do appear to want to get closer.
I find it difficult to allow this, though I wish I didn't.
16.What kind of person are you attracted to?
Funny (above all), beautiful, warm, intelligent, unorthodox.
17.When is the first time you fell in love? The last time? How many times
between?
First time: When I was 17.
Last time: When I was 24.
Twice in between.
18.What do you think of pornography?
Consensual adult erotica is not pornographic (IMO). To me pornography is,
by definition distasteful. Images (eg) are not pornographic unless they
are the result of exploitation. I object to pictures of naked men or
women (even if they are engaged in sex) being labelled pornographic.
19.What do you think of the majority of men?
The majority of men _I know_ are probably atypical of men in general, in
that they are not chauvenistic; they are non-violent; they accept
responsibility both within relationships and within society. The media
image of men is somewhat different, so I guess the ones I know are not
representative.
20.What do you think of the majority of women?
I like most of the women I know. They are often less forgiving than men,
but are also less egotistical. In general women appear to enjoy discord
more than men.
21.Are you male or female?
Male.
22.What patterns do you see in your life?
Strive to be artistically creative. Believe I have succeeded. Fail to gain
recognition. Feel shit because I crave recognition. Feel shit because I
feel shallow for craving recognition. Go on drug binge. Strive to be
artistically creative.
Repeat ad nauseaum (or once a week, whichever comes first).
23.How do you envision your own future?
More of the above unless a) I die first. b) I gain recognition. c) something
which I am currently unaware of replaces "artistic recognition" as my
ultimate aim.
24.How old do you think you'll live to? How long would you like to live?
About how old are you now?
Given the rather ludicrously bad state of my health (and the unlikelihood
of a major lifestyle change), I figure 30 - 45 would be my life expectancy.
I would not like to live *much* longer than that... but 55 would be nice.
I am currently 24.
25.How do you envision the future of the world?
Bleak. Depressing. Widening gulf between rich & poor shall become even
wider. Politics takes a second place to commerce. Technology begins to
replace religion in the west as the "thing in which to place your belief"
Ecological disaster. Islam Vs. China; the next big war.
26.What is most depressing to you?
Globally: Poverty & Injustice.
Locally: Ignorance & Stagnation.
Personally: Writers Block & Acid Come Downs.
27.What form do your depressions take [direction, symptoms,etc.]?
Overwhelming lethargy and a need for solitude and silence. Usually a
couple of days sitting alone in a warm, dark room with minimum of
outside distractions. Used to be self-destructive (some years ago). No
longer so.
28.How often do you cry?
Never. At least not in the past 3 years (death of my best friend was the
last time).
29.Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
Yes.
30.How often do you think of death? What do you think?
Often. Many people close to me have died in the past 5 years. It forces
one to examine mortality closer than one would like. I'm in no hurry to
die. I think it could be a singularly unpleasant experience.
31.Do you believe in an afterlife?
Sometimes.
32.Have you ever tried to commit suicide? What do you think of suicide?
Yes. When I was a teenager I tried 3 times (all quite serious attempts)
and all three times were thwarted by being rushed to hospital, just
unlucky I guess... it wasn't planned as a 'cry for help'... I used to
break things for that. These days I'm not particularly proud of that. I
like life (for the most part) and think that suicide is legitimate only
if *all* other avenues to a better situation have been explored.
33.Is insanity a solution?
Watch the guys who hang around the Tube Station drinking _Special Brew_
and ranting about cheese. Nope... insanity is *not* a solution.
34.How often do you remember your dreams?
All the time.
35.What kind of sensory data do your dreams have [which senses, detail,
memory, etc.]?
Extremely lucid. Often as real as waking life and I have confused the
two on more than one occasion.
36.Are you present in all of your dreams?
99% of them I'd say. When I am not present it is unusual enough for me
to wonder about it for a couple of days.
37.Have you ever died in a dream?
Never. I always awaken just before death in dreams which have that element
to them.
38.What importance or significance do you attach to dreams?
I draw a great deal of inspiration from them for my writing. So as such I
guess they are very important to me.
39.What is your first memory?
Going fishing with my father & uncle in the West of Ireland... I guess I
must have been 7 or 8 (my memory kicks in very late and is _almost_ non-
existant prior to my teens).
40.What importance or significance do you attach to memories?
Not much.
41.What importance do you attribute to life, that is, everything living?
Anything living must really attach a great deal of importance to life;
don't you think? So I guess my answer must be: a lot.
42.Do you believe in ESP or other paranormal phenomena? What paranormal or
unexplainable experiences, if any, have you had?
Yes, sometimes I believe (I say "sometimes" because I shift belief-systems
easily) in most of what is termed supernatural/paranormal. I have had far
too many "apparently" paranormal experiences to relate here.
43.Are animals conscious? Plants? Rocks? What are your feelings about
killing plants and animals to eat?
Yes to animals. Don't know to plants (but I get the feeling "No"). No to
inanimate objects. I am vegetarian precisely because I believe animals to
be conscious. Don't ask me what I'd do if I ever had reason to believe
that plants are too!
44.Do you believe in God? What do you mean by God?
No. I do not believe in a Self-Aware, Individual being who created the
universe. I do not believe in the notion of an omnipotent, omniscient, etc.
being (whether or not it is the Creator). Any other definition of God
ceases to be meaningful... the whole "well God is, you know man, like this
big energy field which encompasses us all, man" is garbage in my opinion.
If such a thing exists, it is not God.
45.Do you feel any obligation to work to improve the world?
Yes. I spent some time working as a volunteer aid worker in a refugee camp.
It both scared and scarred me. Now I try to change the world through my art
(the courage to work in those conditions has deserted me).
46.What do you spend your money on?
Rent, Utilities, Food, Transport (the essentials)
Books, Music, Film, Drugs (the luxuries).
Miscellaneous (miscellaneous).
47.What do you get out of any artistic activity you do or see? Why?
My writing (and to a much lesser extent my music) has become my entire
_raison d'etre_. It is the thing in my life which gives me the most
pleasure & satisfaction.
I've been trying to work out "why" for the past 5 years.
48.What importance or significance do you attribute to the imagination?
Imagination is intrinsically (certainly in my case) linked to artistic
creativity. As such, the anser to No. 47 is relevant.
49.What importance or significance do you attribute to science?
Science fascinates me. I spent the majority of my school & college years
studying the sciences. However, I feel that the importance of science in
its benefit to society has been overstated. I question the emphasis which
mankind has placed upon science.
50.How much time do you spend thinking? What significance do you attribute
to it?
I spend a quite vast amount of time thinking. Much more than _almost_ any
one I know (others in the close circle of artists I associate with, would
be excluded from that). I feel it is *very* important for each individual
to spend time thinking. I don't believe that enough of us do.
51.Do you like yourself? Do you think you would like someone else who was
you?
Yes. I like myself a lot. I used to be a complete asshole, but feel that
I have changed much over the past 5 years. I would probably quite like
someone else who was me. This is surprising given that I am well liked
(or at least appear to be... I guess I _could_ be mistaken) but am also
very self-confident. Many overtly confident people appear to have the
stigma of egotism attached to them and are thus not liked.
52.Do you like your body? What sense do you most appreciate?
No, I dislike my body intensely.
Hearing (I'd go mad without music, but I could always learn braille
if I lost my sight).
53.Do you think you are unusual? How?
Yes. I am unusual in a vast number of ways. I lack that important element
of self-preservation that prevents most people from enjoying their lives
or doing something worthwhile. By that I do not simply mean "the survival
instinct" (whatever _that_ is). I mean a whole plethora of things:
Most people are too concerned with their futures (careers, education,
families, future families, etc., etc.). This prevents them from making
off-the-cuff decisions which would appear to have a detrimental effect on
those futures.
I left home at 14 and have travelled to and within every continent (except
Australia... keep missing it). I have done many irrational things which
ultimately turned out well for me. For this reason I guess I am unusual.
I take many, many more risks than most people I have met.
54.What is important?
Loving your life. Doing something worthwhile (you define worthwhile for
yourself). Respecting others.
55.What is the best thing you have ever done?
Working in a refugee camp for 5 months (though I became seriously ill
as a result).
56.What is the worst thing you have ever done?
Assuring my girlfriend that taking opium was a good idea.
___________________________________________________________________
1.Three most recent lies :
I don't remember them... I do feel really bad when I lie... I do remember
One :
I applied for a job recently (I got it BTW), I told them I got no current
problem with Justice... I am currently under prosecution fore desertion
under Swiss Military Law. oops :)
3.Is anyone more important to you than yourself? anything?
My books... I got a BIG collection a books... It is very important to the
eyes of my best friend that I keep some importance to it. In fact, I
don't care... My collection of Role-Playing Games is more important.
4.Why are you here [job, school, etc.]? What importance or significance do
you attach to it?
I don't know why I am here... I prefer not to know why and to avoid THIS
question... I feel sad at the idea that all of this is pointless (and it
is sadly).
5.Do you often feel exalted or especially joyous? How do your peak moments
tend to come about? What form do they take?
Nope.
6.What things, activities, etc. do you most enjoy?
Role-playing Games, Reading, Sharing experiences with other people.
7.Are you happy?
I don't know. By times, I feel happy, at other times I don't... The
latter more often than not...
8.Do you have any phobias or irrational fears?
Yes.
9.How often are you afraid? What of?
Not fairly often... I tend to avoid the cause of my fears... I remember
the times I was in car w/my mother... She was REALLY afraid... and it was
contagious...
10.How often are you lonely?
Fairly often.
11.What do you expect from love? Hope for?
Sharing good times (and bad times) with someone.
12.What importance do you attribute to sex?
A lot... as I lack this practice in my life.
13.Are you successfully adjusted to your own sexuality?
Nope. Actually, I don't have any... You can't be adjusted to something
that doesn't exist.
14.What importance do you attribute to physical beauty or ugliness? How do
you think it relates to spiritual qualities?
My answer will be in 2 parts:
14a. Absolutely none.
14b. duh? Is there a relation between the 2 ?
15.How close do you want/allow yourself to get to others? How close do
others want to get?
hum... I do not allow myself to be too close to others... One person
wants to get very close... and is clearly disappointed by my mutism and
lack of response...
16.What kind of person are you attracted to?
I can't describe that... Globally I do like the feeling of 'smallness'
that some people expires. Some people gives me the feeling that they need
my protection. In these cases I can fall in love in less than 2 minutes.
17.When is the first time you fell in love? The last time? How many times
between?
around 6 times ago. I don't have recovered...
The last time was this summer, I met a wonderful girl... End of story.
(there never really was a story)
I don't remember if I falled in love in between...
18.What do you think of pornography?
It's a wonderful mean of getting excited.
19.What do you think of the majority of men?
A bunch of silly bastard that destroy a wonderfull planet without remorse
for trivial matters.
20.What do you think of the majority of women?
A bunch of silly bastard that destroy a wonderfull planet without remorse
for trivial matters.
21.Are you male or female?
I am male.
22.What patterns do you see in your life?
What do you mean patterns ? Please explain, I don't understand the
question.
23.How do you envision your own future?
No future.
24.How old do you think you'll live to? How long would you like to live?
About how old are you now?
I am 21 y.o. and would like to live until my death. The only thing I hope
is to avoid long illnesses and to die rapidly without too much undue
sufferings.
25.How do you envision the future of the world?
Dark & Gritty a la cyberpunk...
26.What is most depressing to you?
Undue cruelty. Loneliness (being alone among 30 hostile people, for
example). Sadism toward animals. Pollution (not sure). Stupidity (real
studity, not the one of some of your friends when they are joking. The
silliness of a dumb guy who does something wrong and does it again and
does it again, like recidivist)
27.What form do your depressions take [direction, symptoms,etc.]?
I sleep ! I hide myself in my bed and sleep during a week.
28.How often do you cry?
Not very often.
29.Have you ever wanted to kill someone?
YES !
30.How often do you think of death? What do you think?
Not very often...
31.Do you believe in an afterlife?
No.
32.Have you ever tried to commit suicide? What do you think of suicide?
I did not try, but I thought of it.
33.Is insanity a solution?
Yes, it allows you to suffer almost anything.
34.How often do you remember your dreams?
Quite often. But I forget them quite rapidly after my wakings.
35.What kind of sensory data do your dreams have [which senses, detail,
memory, etc.]?
I am not willing to reply to that question. IMHO, it's too intimate.
Moreover, as I said I don't recall my dreams more than 10 minutes after
my waking.
36.Are you present in all of your dreams?
I don't know. I feel I must be in all of them. I may be wrong.
37.Have you ever died in a dream?
Yes.
38.What importance or significance do you attach to dreams?
A lot. It is rumored to be a solution to your RLife problems.
39.What is your first memory?
I don't know... I do have snapshots from very early in my life, but I
think they are due to the photographs I saw.
40.What importance or significance do you attach to memories?
Not a lot. What's important is in front of you, not what's behind.
41.What importance do you attribute to life, that is, everything living?
A lot. As long as the lifeform does not breath my air it should be
allowed to live. Even when they breath my air, they should be allowed to
live, I can avoid to be annoyed, while they surely don't know they annoy me.
42.Do you believe in ESP or other paranormal phenomena? What paranormal or
unexplainable experiences, if any, have you had?
I do recognize the fact that some things are possible, but not explained.
I never had any unexpl. experiences.
43.Are animals conscious? Plants? Rocks? What are your feelings about
killing plants and animals to eat?
I don't know if they are conscious. I don't care as long as I shall not
kill them myself. I have no remorse toward plants, as they don't
move/cry/shout/look at you.
44.Do you believe in God? What do you mean by God?
No. IMHO, maybe there is such a thing as God, when you do need support to
continue to live. If you can live without, it does not need to exist.
45.Do you feel any obligation to work to improve the world?
No.
46.What do you spend your money on?
Books, Food, Books.
47.What do you get out of any artistic activity you do or see? Why?
My principal artistice activity is Role-Playing. As I am almost always
the GameMaster (the Director, in Cinema) I must work to prepare my games,
to know where I want the story to go, know how to 'move' my players
toward this goal (without they being aware of it)...
48.What importance or significance do you attribute to the imagination?
A lot... Without it, we're not humans, we're just animals.
49.What importance or significance do you attribute to science?
50.How much time do you spend thinking? What significance do you attribute
to it?
Not a lot. I don't think. I choose what I want to do, then I do it. How I
do it is not important, I do it that's it.
51.Do you like yourself? Do you think you would like someone else who was
you?
No. I am too egocentric... I am not open enough. I do not speak of my
problems. I must be really hard to live with.
52.Do you like your body? What sense do you most appreciate?
I don't have to like something which is. My body is my body, I did not
chose I do not judge nor evaluate. I do attach a lot of importance to all
of my senses, the most important is the smell.
53.Do you think you are unusual? How?
It's not to me to say if I am. But everyone around me seems to think I
am. I am a weird guy, with weird reactions & weird activities.
54.What is important?
A lot of things are imprtant. Live well and try to know who you are to be
able to live better. I don't know It feels silly...
55.What is the best thing you have ever done?
It's in RPGs... Some games I ran where really great. I keep really great
memories of them.
56.What is the worst thing you have ever done?
I got no real motivations, I don't care, tat's te wors...
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