The alt.surrealism F.A.Q.M.W.C.
Sven
--
Q: What is surrealism?
A1. Surrealism is a dark egg in samey foam. It colludes with barges,
batches, penguins, pina colada and the old fox trot. It can be doused in
minerals to incite poltergism. Absently, surrealism drinks sots under
tablature.
A2. Surrealism is a holistic magnet filled with Barney coins. Follicles of
must collect in the ears of abrasive elks and are filtered through the
Panama Matrix. Once embedded in the forehead of a willing serf, surrealism
renders him or her intangible without food or battery orgasms.
Q: Where does surrealism come from?
A: The bifurcated ears of kids. It was invigliated in 1402 by 1403. Its
inventor was shot by a galloping fortress. Once, he knew wurst songs: now
he is a deflated lullaby on the way to Kitchener's End.
Q: Why do you keep mentioning Kitchener?
A: Kitchener is fantastic.
Q: Why is everyone here fighting all the time? Like?
A: First there was Prince Softly. Then he begat Shabby Termite, who begat
Timpel Gnomic, who begat The Art Franchise Person, who begat Solomon
Sonorous. Ellison Blarney stole Humbert Penguin's favourite cheese tower.
War began. Blows were exchanged, then telephone numbers, finally boiled
ham.
Q: What do everyone's names mean?
A:
Parry - short for "The Paraguay Phoenix", or the Defender of the Salty
Realm.
Fascinan - an acronym for FAilsafe Sirens Create INtense Analytical
Nervousness. This is nothing more nor less than a box in the park.
Dale Houstman - a type of cranellated bishop found on the heads of empty
German toads.
Nik Maack - a variation on "Knick knack paddywack, give the dog a bone".
The dog in question belongs to Fascinan (ibid)
Cythera - an acronym for Ceramic Yachts THrust Eggs Round America. This is
a sheen on a perforated clock.
Elag - "elag" means "hover through shrapnel with testes under coat".
However, the usage is probably gastronomical.
Orlan - backwards of "Narlo", or "Narwhal Logistics", a firm dealing in the
bureacracy of mythical beasts. See also "batding" ("bat weddings")
Brandon Freels - A mashing device for use in pope-shaving parlours. Also
dissolves rust.
Sven - from old Dutch, lit. "cola from severed nostrils, revenge of such,
withered crones cackle on."
Mikal 606 - only surviving child of Mikal 605, king of the inflatable razor
and Count Sheepish.
Andrew Nellis - rhyming slang: "mangy portcullis"
Kristina - a shuffling bed of thorny ships; also, sometimes, the noise made
by a waking hen.
Disturbed42 - only surviving parent of Disturbed43, the Sheep Worrier from 3
inches above the north pole.
Michael Voytinski - old Polish. Lit: "mashed potato, mashed potato, the
bead that I sat on, remember Hawaii Five-O"
barret john erikson - the sound a waltz makes when it is shot with some fat
teeth while waiting at a bus stop for some sex.
Nick the Lemming - stage name for Colonel Wishy Fanghuts, the moronic
moon-guzzler of Eidelberg Six.
John Adams - maroon shape. Often mistaken for actresses' lips.
Steve McDonald - old Spanish, lit. "Mast on a ship, fabricator of enigmatic
rakes, bold last conquistador termite guy."
Beingthere - acronym: BEhavioural INsipidity! Guts! Two Heaving Electric
Rasputins Everywhere!
(If I've missed anyone out, then apply in writing and I shall amend the
record suitably.)
Q: Why do you keep mentioning Rasputin?
A: Rasputin is fantastic.
Q: No, really, what is surrealism?
A: ibid.
jsday
>
> Q: What is surrealism?
I disagree with this question.
> (If I've missed anyone out, then apply in writing and I shall amend the
> record suitably.)
You left out Morpheal, AKA Bob E, making your FAQ worthless.
_
Sven
> Sven wrote:
>>
>> Q: What is surrealism?
>
> I disagree with this question.
That's not a disagreement. Try again, and this time disagree properly, with
your tongue out and everything.
>> (If I've missed anyone out, then apply in writing and I shall amend the
>> record suitably.)
>
> You left out Morpheal, AKA Bob E, making your FAQ worthless.
You're just bitter because you're not important.
Name 76 things that Morpheal has done to cure world hunger. Hah. How about
feed typhoid? Catch the rhumba? You couldn't even disintegrate your own
fist with matter rays from your brain. We'll settle this outside.
Parry
> Q: What do everyone's names mean?
> (If I've missed anyone out, then apply in writing and I shall amend the
> record suitably.)
You missed a few. I don't know for what nefarious purpose you are
compiling this dossier but you’ll never get me to fink out on
Jean-Jacques, Johamar, #Paul or Scott, who post occassionally. And find
another pigeon to mention Aza Zaz, Leo, or syn, who haven’t posted in
some time. My lips are sealed (with a pupal crust as my tongue turns
into a butterfly). Some many posters, so few posts.
-- Parry
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Morpheal
js...@dragon.achilles.net (jsday) wrote:
> Sven wrote:
> >
> > Q: What is surrealism?
>
> I disagree with this question.
>
the
> > record suitably.)
>
Oh, that's alright. I'm used to being left out.
Sometimes by the most surprising people in the most surprising ways.
That too is surreal.
Most FAQs are worthless. They are so open to subjective interpretation,
and surrealism is much more than taking a matter of FAQ attitude, or
sticking to the FAQs. Flypaper, for sure.
Morpheal
Who would have been Sir Real if he had been knighted.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Sven
> In article <slrn912fiu...@dragon.achilles.net>,
> js...@dragon.achilles.net (jsday) wrote:
>> You left out Morpheal, AKA Bob E, making your FAQ worthless.
>
>
> Oh, that's alright. I'm used to being left out.
The irony here is that as a blatant and prolific cross poster you seem
determined to be left in, in as many places as possible, repeatedly.
> Sometimes by the most surprising people in the most surprising ways.
> That too is surreal.
Hmmm...no.
> Most FAQs are worthless. They are so open to subjective interpretation,
> and surrealism is much more than taking a matter of FAQ attitude, or
> sticking to the FAQs. Flypaper, for sure.
True, most FAQs don't say anything ground-breaking or maybe even true or
maybe even interesting, but at least they're a place to start. We could at
least put the most repetitious arguments in it, so they don't keep playing
out again and again...
Dale Houstman
"Sven" <sv...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:B642983F.14391%sv...@blueyonder.co.uk...
> Morpheal wrote:
>
> > In article <slrn912fiu...@dragon.achilles.net>,
> > js...@dragon.achilles.net (jsday) wrote:
> >> You left out Morpheal, AKA Bob E, making your FAQ worthless.
> >
> >
> > Oh, that's alright. I'm used to being left out.
>
> determined to be left in, in as many places as possible, repeatedly.
>
> > That too is surreal.
>
>
> > Most FAQs are worthless. They are so open to subjective interpretation,
> > and surrealism is much more than taking a matter of FAQ attitude, or
> > sticking to the FAQs. Flypaper, for sure.
>
> maybe even interesting, but at least they're a place to start. We could
at
> least put the most repetitious arguments in it, so they don't keep playing
> out again and again...
>
amount to much. I just see certain people spending the next year arguing
over the points in it, over who is included and excluded (as above), over
"fine" points of statement (although probably argued crudely), over the
"issue" of whether or not certain vowels have fur and certain others have
automotive cilia.
Worth a try I suppose. Although the "facts" (as they are) of surrealism are
already plainly available, and that fact hasn't stopped specific (and highly
motivated) maroons from repeating their offal endlessly.
I say we start shooting, to clear the plaza.
dmh
Parry
>
> "Sven" <sv...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
> news:B642983F.14391%sv...@blueyonder.co.uk...
> > maybe even interesting, but at least they're a place to start. We could
> at
> > least put the most repetitious arguments in it, so they don't keep playing
> > out again and again...
> >
> It would seem reasonable, but like most reasonable things it probably won't
> amount to much. I just see certain people spending the next year arguing
> over the points in it, over who is included and excluded (as above), over
> "fine" points of statement (although probably argued crudely), over the
> "issue" of whether or not certain vowels have fur and certain others have
> automotive cilia.
Inclusion/exclusion isn’t an issue. The above roster of users’ names is
simply a creative venture of Sven’s, and I don’t think anyone has
suggested such a list should be part of the faq.
> Worth a try I suppose.
I think so. The assumption is that usenet will expand and hopefully
evolve beyond its current role as the internet’s rumpus room. Certainly
there are other newsgroups which maintain a respectable level of
discourse or aid the organization of non-usenet activity, so the
potential is there. In evolutionary terms, the publication of a faq may
be on a par with the creation of single-celled organisms -- momentous
enough.
> Although the "facts" (as they are) of surrealism are
> already plainly available, and that fact hasn't stopped specific (and highly
> motivated) maroons from repeating their offal endlessly.
“Maroons” -- I take it you watched the Chuck Jones show. Worthwhile
information on surrealism isn’t nearly as available as useless
information, so a faq may be relevant as propaganda. Once it’s finished
-- and I suspect it will get finished -- it will be circulated as widely
as possible. This may even trigger a small influx of users to the group,
although all they’ll find at this time are a few maroon posts and a
smattering of fuchsia.
> I say we start shooting, to clear the plaza.
But we seem to stagnate for lack of weapons.