12/9 Puns
Tim Bruening
Hazy: Thin, cloudy zombie that dries grass and gives greetings.
Heady: Leading demon.
Heavy: Fat vampire.
HIV: Vampire that causes AIDS.
Humvee: Demon auto that really sucks up the gas!
Tim Bruening
Groovy: Hip vampire.
Handy: Chinese demon with lots of manipulatory appendages.
Hardy: Resilient demon.
Paul Harvey: Vampire that tells "The rest of the story".
Tim Bruening
Gauzy: Zombie wrapping.
Giddy: D-lirously happy demon.
Goldy: Rich demon.
Goody: Demon without sin.
Gravy: Vampire food covering.
Tim Bruening
Eddy: Demon that spins water.
Faddy: Fashionable demon.
Faster: Quickly rotating object.
Fester: Spinning rot.
Feudy: Argumentative demon.
Tim Bruening
Chinzy: Chin of a zombie.
Chevy: Vampire car.
Civvy: Non-military vampire.
Cloudy: Overcast demon.
Comedy: Humorous demon.
Tim Bruening
Buddy: Flowering demon.
Caddy: Golf demon.
Candy: Sweet demon.
Tim Bruening
Already: Early demon.
Bandy: Musical demon.
Baldy: Hairless spherical demon.
Biddy: Auctioneering demon.
Bloody: Red liquid demon.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:412D3130...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4129B3E7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > VAT: Tax on beer.
> > > >
> > > > Hebrew: What a male beer maker did.
> > >
> > > North Semitic: A gove-wearing ancestor of his who used to sail the seas
> > > between the UK and Scandinavia.
> > >
> >
> > Semitic: Jewish parasite (the insect, not the human).
>
> Hmmm. Timmie trying to be PC. I doubt if our cops would have him though.
>
> Anti-Samite-ism: Hatred of a kind of mediæval shmutter.
Semitic: Jewish glove.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Thu, 14 Jun 2001 23:59:55 -0700, Tim Bruening
> <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
> about:
>
> >
> >
> >Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >
> >> The transvestite was a accomplished drag bunter.
> >
> >The vampire bats were red hot as the vampire team chomped the human
> >team.
> >
> The Vamps still lost, as the game was based on balls - everybody know
> vamps have none.
The vamps on Buffy are pretty sexy!
Tim Bruening
news:iryNb.18006$Es....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> A man turns up for a very posh and stuffy fance dress ball at the
Dorchester
> Hotel stark naked exept for being festooned with jump-leads.
>
> The doorman at first refuses to let him in, until he shows his invitation
> and then he lets him in reluctantly. As the man walks into the hall the
> doorman shouts after him, "Fair enough! I've let you in - but don't you
> start anything!!"
I bet that he will be the light of the party.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Thu, 15 Jan 2004 21:51:14 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Thu, 15 Jan 2004 11:09:50 -0800
> >J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >
> >> On Wed, 14 Jan 2004 22:20:34 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> >> <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >> >On Wed, 14 Jan 2004 09:53:19 -0800
> >> >J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> On Wed, 14 Jan 2004 02:02:01 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> >> >> <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating
> >> >about:>
> >> >> >On Tue, 13 Jan 2004 10:55:18 -0800
> >> >> >"Jenni Saqua" <mara...@spamnetscape.net> wrote:
> >> >> >
> >> >> >> When the weather is this cold, miserable, drippy gray I get
> >> >pretty> >> unbearable to be around. Must be time to cybernate.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >Hey, I've got nothing against Nate!
> >> >> >
> >> >> Good, then you'll be going back to Nate's Tour?
> >> >>
> >> >Yes, and they'll call, "Nate, your lover's here!"
> >> >
> >> So, you intend to be Nate's "yer all"? What whill Sheila do?
> >>
> >I feel sure that she will bare it well.
> >
> That'll be a teat for each of us.
Growl Ling: Chinese ursine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4283C992...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F9CF51E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Hiku: Revolution in the mountains.
> > > >
> > > Ditto - curry flavoured:
> > >
> > > To the tune of the tune . . .
> > >
> > > She'll be cummin round the mountain when she comes.
> >
> > Tunafish: Musical fish.
>
> Comma gain?
MUSICAL FISH!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> >
> Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
Tim Bruening
Methuselah Jones wrote:
> In the early days of the rebellion against the evil Emperor and his right
> hand Darth Vader, every single person who could and would fight was needed,
> so the Rebel Alliance recruited anyone they could get -- even the, shall we
> say, less qualified. Such was the case with Marakim Harker. While eager and
> dedicated, young Marakim was "a couple Tie-fighters short of a squadron,"
> as the saying went. A few klicks short of light speed. But he served
> valiently and steadfastly, carrying messages to wherever they needed to go.
> He'd have to take a couple minutes to memorize his delivery instructions,
> but then he was off. One day, just as he was about to take off to carry a
> message from Luke Skywalker to Wedge Antilles, Luke stopped him and said,
> "On your way, I need you to also stop and see Third Class Petty Officer
> Rogan Tudy, and give him this paper." Poor Marakim looked confused, so Luke
> said, "Here -- I'll write it down for you." So he wrote "See 3PO R. Tudy,
> too."
How Droid!
nemo
. . . and sod the environmant! Unbelievable how selfish and
ignorant some people can be!
"Look at me!! Ain't I clever driving this big gas-guzzling car? . . ."
WHOOSH!
" 'Ere? Where'd all this water come from?"
nemo
They can't finish the rest of the story. They've run out of bricks.
nemo
Laughing Gravy: L&H's dog's food covering.
nemo
Narr. It's a typical BBC young female presenter referring to an enthusiast
of cooking, eating, or shopping for good food.
They can't pronounce the old smyewth 'oo' sound anymore. It'ff a fffpeech
deffeggdd!
nemo
Sanguinary: Pertaining to a black and white musical amphibious bird of the
antarctic.
nemo
Eye fought hats swat ewe's head!
(A comma is 1/100th of a semitone, BTW, as might be used by a tuna fish with
a good ear or two.)
nemo
Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
a cuppa in the other!
nemo
Installation in the Tate Modern consisting of a party surrounding a number
of motor horns being sounded at random by some Scottish doves: Art tooty
doo.
David
furiously:
C'mon, Nemo. You're talking to Tim.
--
David
Remove "farook" to reply
At the bottom of the application where it says
"sign here". I put "Sagittarius"
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Use wood or concrete or steel.
nemo
job!
http://www.jewson.co.uk/en/templates/product/WhatWeSell.jsp;jsessionid=IVHTXUJ0DFCAZQFIDYQCM4Q
They do plant hire as well. Tall stands for your flower pots!
nemo
"David" <faro...@picknowl.com.au> wrote in message
news:n8cji19jpg1oune5o...@4ax.com...
> On Wed, 14 Sep 2005 11:51:38 GMT, "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> typed
> furiously:
>
> >
> >"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >news:43266792...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>
> >> nemo wrote:
> >>
> >> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> > news:4283C992...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > > nemo wrote:
> >> > >
> >> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> > > > news:3F9CF51E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> > > > > Hiku: Revolution in the mountains.
> >> > > > >
> >> > > > Ditto - curry flavoured:
> >> > > >
> >> > > > To the tune of the tune . . .
> >> > > >
> >> > > > She'll be cummin round the mountain when she comes.
> >> > >
> >> > > Tunafish: Musical fish.
> >> >
> >> > Comma gain?
> >>
> >> MUSICAL FISH!
> >
> >Eye fought hats swat ewe's head!
> >
> >(A comma is 1/100th of a semitone, BTW, as might be used by a tuna fish
with
> >a good ear or two.)
> >
> C'mon, Nemo. You're talking to Tim.
> --
know. Or failing that, Absolut Vodka!!!
:o}..... . . . . .
.
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Thu, 14 Jun 2001 23:59:55 -0700, Tim Bruening
> <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> found these unused words floating
> about:
>
> >
> >
> >Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >
> >> The transvestite was a accomplished drag bunter.
> >
> >The vampire bats were red hot as the vampire team chomped the human
> >team.
> >
> The Vamps still lost, as the game was based on balls - everybody know
> vamps have none.
And the zombie team fell to pieces.
nemo
They didn't know how to play because they hadn't read Dybbuk of
instructions.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43266841...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> > > >
> > > Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
> >
> > Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
> >
> > Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
>
> Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
> a cuppa in the other!
Cuppa: Father of a drinking vessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43266841...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> > > >
> > > Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
> >
> > Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
> >
> > Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
>
> Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
> a cuppa in the other!
Cuppa: Father of a drinking wessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Tooty: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTTUVWXYZ.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432A3E54...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:432664D1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Greedy: Kleptomaniac demon.
> > > >
> > > > Groovy: Hip vampire.
> > > >
> > > > Handy: Chinese demon with lots of manipulatory appendages.
> > > >
> > > > Hardy: Resilient demon.
> > > >
> > > > Paul Harvey: Vampire that tells "The rest of the story".
> > >
> > > They can't finish the rest of the story. They've run out of bricks.
> >
> > Use wood or concrete or steel.
> >
> Steel them from where? Steeling building materials can be a jewson difficult
> job!
Son of a Hebrew?
nemo
Upper: Price of a lift/elevator.
nemo
I can wessel very well - in tune and everything *and* in and out, so I don't
have to pause for breath.
nemo
Nope. http://www.jewson.co.uk/homepage.jsp?_requestid=1703945
Next to their lift/elevator:
Sexth Floor: Company brothel.
Fit Floor: Epilepsy drugs. (Noah fence to sufferers,)
Turd Floor: Toilets.
Seconds Floor: Extra food.
Thirst Floor: Bar.
Ground Floor: Powdered linoleum.
Bay Cement: Building materials.
nemo
Narr. It's a kid with a statter trying to recite it by rote - and remember -
we don't want it riten roten, we want it riten rite!
Strangulated bassoon: (clue)
Yaaaaaaaa Daadaadaadaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yaaaadaaaadaaa*daaa*dadaaaaa!
Yaaaaaaaa Daadaadaadaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! . . . .
Well it *is* nearly spring here.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Hexth Floor: Withcraft.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Fit Floor: Clothes.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Fit Floor: Exercise.
nemo
Heaventh Floor: Funerals, religious accoutrements.
Hate-th Floor: Nazi memorabelia,
nemo
Shmutters!
Happens in Marks and Spencer's now that they get all their stuff made in
China! Makes the garments a bit crunchy too.
They made these guys redundant:
http://www.tv.com/never-mind-the-quality-feel-the-width/show/16267/summary.html
nemo
Don't laugh. I've got to go to NHS-organised exercise classes for people
with Angina at the YMCA gym in Tottenham Court Road now! I've not had it
much but they still think it's necessary.
First time I've set foot in a gym since I left school! I hope this one
doesn't smell the same!
There's a specialist medic/trainer and it's quite a gentle exercise plan
increasing as you get fitter - and getting into the YMCA gym for £10 a year
and £1.50 per session is quite an achievement in itself!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:443216C2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Fit Floor: Exercise.
> >
>
> Don't laugh. I've got to go to NHS-organised exercise classes for people
> with Angina at the YMCA gym in Tottenham Court Road now! I've not had it
> much but they still think it's necessary.
Is Angina your new girlfriend?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43266841...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> > > >
> > > Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
> >
> > Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
> >
> > Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
>
> Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
> a cuppa in the other!
Cuppa: Father of a drinking vessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43266841...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> > > >
> > > Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
> >
> > Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
> >
> > Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
>
> Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
> a cuppa in the other!
Cuppa: Father of a drinking wessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432A3E54...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:432664D1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Greedy: Kleptomaniac demon.
> > > >
> > > > Groovy: Hip vampire.
> > > >
> > > > Handy: Chinese demon with lots of manipulatory appendages.
> > > >
> > > > Hardy: Resilient demon.
> > > >
> > > > Paul Harvey: Vampire that tells "The rest of the story".
> > >
> > > They can't finish the rest of the story. They've run out of bricks.
> >
> > Use wood or concrete or steel.
> >
> Steel them from where? Steeling building materials can be a jewson difficult
> job!
Son of a Hebrew?
nemo
Cuppurrr of Cuppiywrrrr even for 'copper' makes me laugh.
It's an English slang word and the US pronunciation just sounds daft.
nemo
Is that what they drink out of after an all-in wesseling match?
nemo
>>>>TT
>>>>>>TT
>>>>>>>>>>TT
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TT
A TT race!
nemo
Probably - and also a Bill Derz Merchant.
And over the road, they've just taken down the first floor (second to you)
of the steelwork of a new building because the RSJs didn't fit!
This is what was there. Don't laugh! The new building is going to be shops
and homes.
http://www.citikey.com/business/10025705
In the time it's taken for this bunch of twits to get the foundations laid
and the steel erection started, another contractor around the back has
nearly finished a whole damned school! Five stories, and about 100 yards by
forty by fifteen!
A robot with a hard on: Steel erection!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43266841...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B444B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Dermitology: Study of skin gloves.
> > > >
> > > Haemitology: Study of bloodstained gloves. :o(
> >
> > Transmit: Transvestite gloves.
> >
> > Magnanimity: Generous gloves.
>
> Narr. That describes a Start Wreck actor with a very big gun in one hand and
> a cuppa in the other!
Cuppa: Father of a drinking vessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Cuppa: Father of a drinking wessel.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:432A3E54...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:443216C2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Fit Floor: Exercise.
> >
>
> Don't laugh. I've got to go to NHS-organised exercise classes for people
> with Angina at the YMCA gym in Tottenham Court Road now! I've not had it
> much but they still think it's necessary.
Is Angina your new girlfriend?
nemo
It's nobody's friend. It's a warning that if you do nothing about it, your
going to die!! - and you can't get more unfriendly than that!
It turned out to be Oesophageal Spasm instead - gullet cramp - which is just
as painful but harmless, so the exercise classes were cancelled.
I've only had it once or twice since, and the same GTN spray they give you
for Angina stops the pain of Oesophageal Spasm as well.
hones...@centurytel.net
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote in message
news:Pnp8k.15474$E41....@text.news.virginmedia.com...
Foo