Difficult Decision Now Finalized
BSDGAL
The doctor states that Mom is far too weak to continue on life support
for too much longer. We had to make a time line of when to disconnect.
Thank goodness for .jefs post as that did sincerely help us.
The disconnect date is Wednesday of this week if she is not able to
maintain on her own. Morphine will assist. We have decided on
cremation - and currently mapping out where her remains will go.
Thank you everybody.
I just can't answer any posts right now - too heartbroken - but
appreciative to AS3 community as a whole.
Thank you ((((((AS3)))))))))
--
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
robbster | OOF
elle
coming from. I wish my mother's doctors had been firm enough to advise
us more clearly on what to do.
Gather her family together for Wednesday. She will know she is loved,
in any case.
hugs,
elle
Marvin The Paranoid Android
((((((((((((((((Bev))))))))))))))))))))
It'll be alright.
Big Big Hugs,
Marvie
Jef.
> Things have changed again.
>
> The doctor states that Mom is far too weak to continue on life support for
> too much longer. We had to make a time line of when to disconnect. Thank
> goodness for .jefs post as that did sincerely help us.
>
> The disconnect date is Wednesday of this week if she is not able to
> maintain on her own. Morphine will assist. We have decided on
> cremation - and currently mapping out where her remains will go.
The "one size fits all" thing never works in cases like this, but there's
really a certain universality of emotional experience and mental preparation
that comes into play when you're forced to deal with this all too
close-to-home turmoil. It moves on from the realm of being a philosophical
"what if" discussion and into the arena of uncomfortable, "I have to do
something" reality. You are more prepared than you think, and you are
actually stronger than you know.
You can only do your best, be cautious enough to give her the help she needs
and to spare her the pain she doesn't. You'll move forward with genuine love
and concern, I'm sure. Your Mom, whether or not she's focused or rational
enough to fully grasp the situation, will surely know on some level that you
care, and that you're (all) there for her.
I hope her passing is gentle.
Brenny
and I live with that reality daily.
Your Mom is blessed to have the comfort of her children around her and
even though she was pissed at you you must take comfort in the
knowledge that she knows she is not doing this alone and that you have
made the hard decisions with love and with her best interests at
heart.
((((((((((((((((Hugz for you all)))))))))))))))))
Brenny
Karen B
know that your mother appreciates the love that brings the anguish of
having to make decisions like this.
--
Karen B.
Sue
<wyld...@iprimus.com.au> wrote:
>My mother passed away alone before my siblings and I could get there
>and I live with that reality daily.
BTDT. My mother died 10 minutes before I got there. I've never
forgiven myself that she died alone. Especially since it was due to
my cowardice. I could have gotten there on time, but I just couldn't
face it.
Sue
DavidL
> On Sun, 5 Jul 2009 23:08:43 -0700 (PDT), Brenny
>
> >My mother passed away alone before my siblings and I could get there
> >and I live with that reality daily.
>
> BTDT. My mother died 10 minutes before I got there. I've never
> forgiven myself that she died alone. Especially since it was due to
> my cowardice. I could have gotten there on time, but I just couldn't
> face it.
> Sue
Sue, forgive yourself.
I'm sure your mother loves you just the same.
Sparky
>Things have changed again.
>
>The doctor states that Mom is far too weak to continue on life support
>for too much longer. We had to make a time line of when to disconnect.
> Thank goodness for .jefs post as that did sincerely help us.
>
>The disconnect date is Wednesday of this week if she is not able to
>maintain on her own. Morphine will assist. We have decided on
>cremation - and currently mapping out where her remains will go.
>
>Thank you everybody.
>
>I just can't answer any posts right now - too heartbroken - but
>appreciative to AS3 community as a whole.
>
>Thank you ((((((AS3)))))))))
(((((Bev))))))))))
Lizzie
"BSDGAL" <bsd...@bsdgal.com> wrote in message
news:h2rlur$jop$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
FlatIronMike
Alzheimer's and my sister & I agreed that no live saving efforts were
to be used if she got sick. She got pneumonia and while we knew she
might have survived if she were hospitalized, we knew she would only
be in worse shape after that. Consequently we opted to have her pain
administered to but to let nature take its course. Thankfully it was
fast and easy on Mom's part.
We did the same with cremation. We held a memorial service later when
it worked for my sister & myself and we have placed Mom in several
places she held dear during her life. Some of her is at the cemetery
with my dad. We also placed some at Serpent Mound in Ohio as she had
taken us there and we all knew the energy and power flowing from
there. I have some of Mom in Madison Square Park alongside 5th Avenue
as she loved the LGBT Pride March and marched in nearly 10 of them
here while she was able. We still have some of her remains and I know
we will figure out a fitting place for her to be placed and cherished.
FlatironMike
Two years, four months, three weeks, four days, 22 hours, 44 minutes
and 13 seconds. 17538 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,261.43. Life
saved: 8 weeks, 4 days, 21 hours, 30 minutes.
BSDGAL
My bro and I are trying to do what we can do but we have so much
negative and control-type noise from my aunt and cousins - that I have
almost 0 patience left.
My bro is silently becoming quite nasty to the immediate maternal family
- because every time they come into the room - Mom on life support gets
upset. Bi-pap was removed today and my aunt had a priest read Mom her
last rights and she also made it a point (while standing in her room) to
state that Mom would not make it past Wednesday.
I can't even begin to describe how HARD it has been for me not to
fucking reach out and DECK SOMEONE.
Little do they know, they are hurting my brother the most (who loved my
mom unconditionally and she favored him and spoiled him rotten!) but he
is a good guy. Sad to say that he was recently diagnosed with COPD - I
never really knew him until the past 5 years because my immediate family
was so dysfunctional!
My kids are so damn cute. First the oldest calls at 10:30 am - for a
status update. Then middle son calls - and I tell him - "ermmm, I just
talked to sissy..." and he tells me that "ooh you did?" Then youngest
son calls 90 minutes later to see how I am doing. He could never lie
very well. I tell him that I know they are all texting back and forth
and wondering how mom is holding out with grandma going off life support
soon...He tells me "busted." Regardless, he has always ratted on the
other two, they have no clue (and I hope they don't read this) - but I
always know what is going on...
Why did I type so much TMI - Mike, I'm afraid and I just felt connected
with your entire post - thank you so much 00x0x0x
/Bev
--
BSDGAL
BSDGAL
BSDGAL
I know that I speak for the crowd - we all love you x0x0x0x
DavidL wrote:
>
> Sue, forgive yourself.
> I'm sure your mother loves you just the same.
--
BSDGAL
OK - I am a coward too. I was afraid of my moms Bi-pap.
So that makes me a wimp = here in NH :)
--
BSDGAL
--
BSDGAL
--
BSDGAL
Today was nothing short of dismay.
Aunt, cousins all show up with their snotty little turned up noses.
They think they are better than my step-bother...Long story here and I
won't get into it. I felt such rage. I wanted to bitch slap all of them.
They bring in a priest to read whatever it is they read (catholic
thing.) Afterwards, they stand in the room discussing how soon mom is
going to die...
I could feel my brother wanting to just kick their asses out - it is
coming soon. Right now they hold all the financial and are obviously
not willing to turn them over...We think that mom did have a living will
- but believe that it was destroyed. Mom spent many winters in Florida
- and I never once realized how much total control my aunt and cousins
had over her life. We are just beginning to realize this. We were
never a close knit family on the maternal side. Go figure...
I hope her passing is gentle too jef.
Thanks again for your assist :)
Jef. wrote:
> "BSDGAL" wrote
BSDGAL
Gracenote
>
> - Show quoted text -
I hate that you are having to go through this, yet I can tell that you
are strong enough and you love your mother enough to do it in spite of
how awful it is.
I caught some crap from relatives when my Mom died, even though she
had not seen these people for years and years and I knew what her
wishes were and what she needed me to do for her when the time came. I
just had to tune them out.
You are in my prayers. Remember that we are here for you :)
Annette
Sue
>Please do Sue - you are the ultimate lady on AS3 :)
>
>I know that I speak for the crowd - we all love you x0x0x0x
>
>DavidL wrote:
>
>>
>> Sue, forgive yourself.
>> I'm sure your mother loves you just the same.
You are both so sweet and your comments are much appreciated.
Sue who is not so sure about being a "lady"