Do you drop your 9yr olds at the movies?
John Dubock
Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
moviehouse to watch Titanic?
Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
call if needed?
Is this normal parental behavior?
Tracey
>Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
>moviehouse to watch Titanic?
Well, actually, it depends, I would guess, on where the mall/
moviehouse is.
Where I'm from, it's nothing for kids that young (and younger)
to be dropped at skating rinks, bowling alleys, running around
'downtown' (if you can call a two block stretch of stores a
'downtown',) movie places (the only one there is a drive-in,
and it's nothing to see a batch of kids in the bed of a pickup
with no parents in sight, they drive two cars, leave the kids
with the truck, go have dinner, whatever, come back when the
movie's over,) but here in the greater LA metropolitan area,
that's not an option (though I still do see it!)
Tracey
Vicki Robinson
In a previous article, h20s...@xmission.com (John Dubock) said:
>Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
>moviehouse to watch Titanic?
>
>Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
>call if needed?
>
>Is this normal parental behavior?
>
There isn't a yes or no answer to this one. How many nine-year-olds?
I would never allow one child of that age to go to the movies alone,
but two or three, maybe. What kind of environment? Of course, no
place is immune to bad people or happenings, but I'd be lots more
comfotable at a suburban mall theater than a Times Square theater.
I also would not give them a beeper number, I'd make sure that I was
close to a phone at all times so that they could call me directly, and
I'd give them a cell phone to carry.
My children were permitted to go to the mall and to the movies under
very restricted rules when they were, oh, probably 12 and 9
respectively. They had to be with each other (no more than an arm's
length apart) at *all* times, they carried a cell phone (and we talked
about how it might be a bad idea to let a suspicious person know that
you have it before you get a chance to use it), I dropped them at a
very specific point from which I could watch them enter the theater
and they knew where and when I would pick them up and knew that they'd
better be there. My kids are smart and mature, too, and I knew I
could count on them. Our community, too, is generally safe and
watchful, and my kids are aware of what constitutes odd behavior.
I would not say that letting nine-year-olds go to the movies is
without doubt neglectful or dangerous. It *could* be, depending on
the kids, the community and the theater. I'd say it's something to
talk to the parent about, but not to go overboard with accusations and
fear unless there is a specific circumstance that you can point to
that makes it dangerous. Other parents are going to feel differently,
too - I think this one really is a judgement call.
Vicki
--
Visit our wedding at http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts/wedding.html and
sign our guest book! The alt.folklore.urban FAQ and archive can
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Mike Durden
NO - Titanic is PG-13, not appropriate for a 9 tyear old, and NO it is
not normal for kids to have to page their parents.
Mike Durden
Gail Walker
John Dubock wrote:
>
> Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
> moviehouse to watch Titanic?
>
> Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
> call if needed?
>
> Is this normal parental behavior?
Well, maybe. It depends on the area of the country where you live
as well as the maturity of the children. Personally, I wouldn't
drop off 9-year-olds at the movies alone but perhaps in a year
or two. I also don't intend to allow my children to see Titanic
(my kids are 10 and 8) but there are parents around who do
allow their children to see it.
What are you objecting to? That they were allowed to go to the
movies without an adult? The particular movie itself? Were the
children uncomfortable with the situation?
Certainly my kids know I have a beeper they can call if needed
in any situation, that's why I have it. Telling the kids THAT
is normal.
-- Gail
Dylan's Mom
There really is no such thing as normal. Everyone does things differently.
Do I think it is wise to leave a 9 yr old alone at the movies? No.
--
Teri....@Compaqnospam.com
John Dubock <h20s...@xmission.com> wrote in article
<6gnv9s$epc$4...@news.xmission.com>...
janelaw
I agree. Also, I am much more willing kids at this age stay
alone at the movies if: it is the afternoon matinee, there is a
small group together. When there are more than three or four
kids together, they can tend to disrupt other viewers or sneak
into the R-rated movies they are not allowed to see.
What could be wrong with giving your kids your beeper number?
Gail Walker wrote:
>
> John Dubock wrote:
> >
> > Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
> > moviehouse to watch Titanic?
> >
> > Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
> > call if needed?
> >
> > Is this normal parental behavior?
>
Beckish
In article <6gnv9s$epc$4...@news.xmission.com>, h20s...@xmission.com (John
Dubock) writes:
>Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
>moviehouse to watch Titanic?
>
>Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
>call if needed?
>
>Is this normal parental behavior?
>
Well, I may tend to be overprotective, but there is no way I would let my nine
year old go to the movies without an older person present. I have let my 12
year old go see Titanic with a friend, with parental pick up before and after
the movie, but I think nine is too young. I suppose telling the kids to call
the beeper is better than not being able to be reached, but I still think nine
is too young.
Becky
Neuminosum
Last summer our 11 year old was invited to go to a baseball game with a friend.
We found out after the fact that the mother who had invited our son along
dropped the kdis off at the stadium, gave them her pager number, and designated
a place adn time to pick them up.
I was so angry about this, having never considered dropping my kids (stepkids)
off in a public place unaccompanied - it never occured to me to ask. I ask if a
parent is home when they go to a friend's house, but never thought another
parent would leave kids at a stadium like that.
Though I have a great deal of faith in the kid, I just don't crowds. He has
earned going to the park on his own to play baseball, and is begining ot choose
to stay home for brief periods of time - I would never do this with our 9 year
old middle-kid who is a much different cat altogether. the 9 year old NEEDS an
adult presence to help keep in in check - sure he can sit on his own or with a
friend at the movies, but he's not ready to be out unsupervised.
Maybe I'd feel differently if I had not grown up in a big city, or if I ahd
only one child - but with three and the trouble they can get into - no way.
Laura
h20s...@xmission.com (John Dubock) wrote:
>Is it considered safe to drop 9 year old kids at a local mall
>moviehouse to watch Titanic?
>Is is normal to tell those same kids that you have a beeper they can
>call if needed?
>Is this normal parental behavior?
Oh, oh, oh...I just had to respond to this one because I just found
out that my daughters (9 & 10) have also been dropped off at the
theatre and then picked up after the movie is over. I *don't* feel it
is appropriate and I don't feel that they are old enough to handle
situations that may arise. Too many things can happen. I don't know
if its normal parental behavior or not, bur it isn't *my* behavior and
I am both angry and frightened that my ex feels this is okay.
Laura
Laura
peg boucher murphy
In article <199804210417...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
Neuminosum <neumi...@aol.com> wrote:
>Last summer our 11 year old was invited to go to a baseball game with a friend.
>We found out after the fact that the mother who had invited our son along
>dropped the kdis off at the stadium, gave them her pager number, and designated
>a place adn time to pick them up.
this is out of line because you didn't know. how can you be responsible
for your kids if you don't know what the plans are?
>Though I have a great deal of faith in the kid, I just don't crowds. He has
>earned going to the park on his own to play baseball, and is begining ot choose
>to stay home for brief periods of time -
this is definitely a "different strokes for different folks" kind of thing.
our kids started walking walking to the park around 9-10 years old. our 10
year olds walked with the 8 year old to and from school (about 5-6 blocks
across a very busy street with a crossing guard) and to the park (about 3
blocks) at about the same time. now for the first year or so, they had to
be with another kids their age or older.
we were generally not okay with leaving kids home alone for more than 15-20
minutes until they were 12.
our kids have been riding public transportation sans adults (no transfers)
but with at least one other kids (same age or older) since around 12. at
13 or so, they started managing transfers very nicely, and all three now
competently ride alone on buses or els that they know.
>Maybe I'd feel differently if I had not grown up in a big city, or if I ahd
>only one child - but with three and the trouble they can get into - no way.
i've got three and live in the big city (chicago). my kids have good street
smarts, a great deal of self-confidence, and are not tied to our neighborhood
or plans -- one can go with his friends to a cubs game, another can meet her
friends at a hot downtown music store, while a third can hit the central
city library, all while i do school work by the phone at home. they're very
good about calling and coming home on time because if they don't, this is
the privilege that they lose *first*.
it has nothing to do specifically with living in a city. you don't do crowds.
they don't bother me. i value my own freedom (especially of movement) and
want my kids to not only have and appreciate that for themselves, but be
able to take part in all of the different things the city has to offer that
other family members might not be interested in. <shrug>
this really is a ymmv situation -- everyone needs to find their own comfort
level and make it work for themselves and their families. but i don't think
it has anything to do with *location*. i would never raise my kids in the
suburbs, for example, and would have issues about doing so in the country
as well. <shrug> just based on my own experiences growing up...
peg
-happy city dweller with city kids...
Tracey
>but i don't think it has anything to do with *location*.
Maybe it's a combination of location AND the maturity level of
the child in question. I know the first summer my youngest step-
son spent with us he felt 'stifled' because, since I was home
with him while my husband worked, I made him stay in a small
area (the military housing area where we lived), had him keep
me informed of *where* in that area he was, and very rarely let
him go out of it. He was twelve at the time, and, all things
being equal, if he had been with us full-time, I probably would
have been a lot less strict on where he could go. But, we are
in the greater metropolitan area of LA, and he was raised in a
small, small, small town in upper New York state, and no matter
how you look at it, he was not and IS not accustomed to living
in the area where we do.
Another example. I have two nephews. When the oldest of them
was 9 or 10, I trusted him implicitly with my then very young
son. He would take my son up in his room for hours and play with
him and I never worried about my son putting things in his mouth,
or getting hurt. Now, the younger of the two is now 18, and I
don't trust him to watch my now 11 year old son for more than
an hour or two.
Just my 2 cents
Tracey
lilblakdog
Tracey <rbra...@earthlink.net> wrote in article
<354617...@earthlink.net>...
> Maybe it's a combination of location AND the maturity level of
> the child in question.
There is a *lot* to this. I've been reading this thread and thinking,
"Gosh, I'd been all over the lower mainland by myself at this age!" I knew
that if I posted that, I'd have been flamed by people telling me there are
all kind of lunatics out there now...which there are...but the lunatics
were out there when I was nine as well. In fact, Vancouver's most
notorious serial killer was on the loose that very year.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a neighborhood where everybody knew
everybody else. If you were being bothered by someone, you could run to
any house and get help. Consequently, we were given a lot more freedom.
We were raised to be "aware," rather than "afraid." I had a newspaper
route and I read about Olsen's victims and how he'd offer them a job, show
them his business card and they'd climb into the car with him. No offense
meant to these kids, or any other kids who end up in that kind of a
situation, but at the time I couldn't figure out how they could be so
stupid. I was a little over half their age and wouldn't have done
something like that!
My older brother took me to Vancouver (about an hour by bus) to see Star
Wars when I was six and he was nine. The first time he took me anywhere by
bus, I was three and he was six and we went into New Westminster (about
fifteen minutes by bus). I was going to the store by myself when I was
three. I used to have to go to the store for the kid next door even though
he was two years older than me and a boy, because he wasn't allowed to
cross the busy streets. I started babysitting the kids up the street when
I was twelve...I was still babysitting them when the oldest one was twelve!
However, I watch my eight year old stepson like a hawk. I'm not even crazy
about leaving him alone long enough to take a shower or run down to the
laundry room. He's either not the same type of kid as we were or else he
simply wasn't raised to be able to take care of himself. Which would
really be sad. My biggest fear is that I won't know how to raise my kids
to take care of themselves in a bad situation. I keep asking my mom for
tips that she used and she swears that she never did anything special. In
fact, now that my dad's gone and she pays more attention to what we do, she
worries about us more now than she did when we were kids! I think my
little brother said it best on his website, where he said that our mother
always gave him the freedom to be his own person. Of course, he said, if
she knew some of the places that freedom led to....
So to make a long story slightly less long, I don't think this is something
that people can really advise on. I'm sure that the original poster has
already made up his/her mind but, for anyone else out there, only you know
your own child. You know your area and what kind of a mall this is
(ie...we have some malls around here that *I'm* not crazy about being in
alone!) and whether or not there are legalities at work. Don't be afraid
to put your foot down if you really don't think that it's a good idea, but
try not to to let your reluctance to let them grow up get in the way.
Just my $.02...
lil