A brief recap
Kim Scheinberg
I've met Michelle and Merrie a few times. I've met jane, Lee, TC, Nikki
and lil not at all. Vicki I met the first time over six years ago
Vicki was the only one I had to look at several times before being sure it
was Vicki. Everyone else I identified immediately
jane's daughter is every bit as fabulous as we'd expect
Nikki is not really a person, but a cat. I can tell this by the way she
marked territory in every bathroom of my house
TC doesn't write "y'all" anywhere near as often as she says it
lil looks far more like a schoolteacher than a punk rocker
Here's my main observation, though:
I've done more than a few net gatherings. Each time, there is someone who
disappoints. Maybe it's not that you don't *like* them. It's just that
they're not as fabulous as their posts suggest. Or you didn't instantly
connect in person the way you did in pixels. Somehow, someway, they fall
short of expectations
This weekend, no one had that affect on me. Everyone was every bit as
wonderful as I expected them to be -- some were even moreso
Which leads me to the only possible conclusion -- I must be the
disappointing one
That's okay, mind you. They're all in love with my son (who's in love with
Lee) so I'm not bothered by it one bit
I had a great time. And to those who invaded my home? All the hospitality
you endlessly thanked me for was in no way sufficient payment for the
excellent job y'all did babysitting my boy
Anne, you were missed
Many of you were missed
-k.
--
ik...@panix.com | The Max Cam is up and running! Try it:
Kim Scheinberg | www.panix.com/~jzk TAKE PICTURE
Anne Robotti
Tell us everything! What are Merrie and Jane like? I did *so* want to
meet Merrie and Jane! And everybody else too! You guys have really all
got to trek out here this summer so we can hang out.
Anne
jane lawrence
>
> That person was probably me, Kim! :D I'm lucky I didn't come! :D
>
> Tell us everything! What are Merrie and Jane like?
I'm a perfectly normal person. Merrie is perfect. You'd think
she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
jane
Vicki Robinson
:I'm a perfectly normal person.
ooooooooo....kay.
:Merrie is perfect. You'd think
:she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
:not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
:either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
:perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
This is very true. She's even beautiful and elegant, too, even in the
rain on Fisherman's Wharf. And nice. And serene. It's totally
unfair.
However, the rest of us were all foxes too, in our individual ways.
Proof is to be had at
http://xcski.com/~vjrnts/assp/index1.html
The full-sized jpegs are *huge*; if you have a slow connection, you
might want to wait until I can get them scaled down.
Vicki
--
Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution Resources:
http://www.rit.edu/~vjrnts/mediation/mediation.html
The alt.folklore.urban FAQ and archive can be found at
http://www.urbanlegends.com/
Tracey
writes:
>The full-sized jpegs are *huge*; if you have a slow connection, you
>might want to wait until I can get them scaled down.
Cool! the jpegs aren't that bad.......with cable access <grin>.
Uhm, if we actually *get* to Hawaii, can we plan a get-together
for there?????
Tracey
Vicki Robinson
:Uhm, if we actually *get* to Hawaii, can we plan a get-together
:for there?????
:
Why not? Actually, that might just be within reach for the Ozzies
too!
jpickard
Okay....it seems I spend more time alone with my husband's three
children than he does (because of his job). If we weren't married
who would be taking care of his children while he works? Is it
fair that I have to do it so much of the time?
I don't ask him to do much of anything for my two children.....
I feed them, bathe them, put them to bed each night, take them
to and from school.....so why am I the designated babysitter of
his kids whenever he is at work? I really don't see the fairness in
that. I try to put myself in his shoes....but I'm not sure I would
saddle my new spouse with childcare for three somewhat ill behaved
young children. Just needed to vent. Replies welcome.
Sandi
Kim Scheinberg
>
>I'm a perfectly normal person. Merrie is perfect. You'd think
>she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
>not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
>either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
>perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
Can I be a passive periphrastic? Or a future less vivid? Maybe
just an ablative?
kim "latin lover" scheinberg
Vicki Robinson
:jane lawrence <jan...@excite.com> writes
:>
:>I'm a perfectly normal person. Merrie is perfect. You'd think
:>she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
:>not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
:>either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
:>perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
:
:Can I be a passive periphrastic? Or a future less vivid? Maybe
:just an ablative?
:
We have an opening for a pluperfect subjunctive.
Vicki "I've heard that question a thousand times..." Robinson
Lynne Sands
What did he do with the kids during the day before he met you? Daycare?
And what about your children. Did you have them in daycare before you
met him and you became a stay-at-home Mom? It seems to me that if his
working is allowing you to stay home with *your* kids, then you should
watch his three also.
If you want to put his kids in daycare, then you should discuss this
with him. Perhaps look into how much it costs per kid and see if he is
willing to pay that amount.
My personal opinion is that if you are staying home and being
financially supported by his working, then you should support him by
watching the kids. But, that's just my opinion.
Lynne
--
Lynne Sands
LSands11 at yahoo dot com
merrie
people are plotting so that I'll be the big dissappointment at the next
gathering. But I have a plan...
Merrie
jane lawrence <jan...@excite.com> wrote in message
news:38C3E1FC...@excite.com...
> Anne Robotti wrote:
> >
> > That person was probably me, Kim! :D I'm lucky I didn't come! :D
> >
> > Tell us everything! What are Merrie and Jane like?
>
> I'm a perfectly normal person. Merrie is perfect. You'd think
> she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
> not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
> either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
> perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
>
> jane
>
Sarai
by the way, which one is Jane's daughter? I only saw two young girls (both
absolutely beautiful, btw) and from what you guys say about merrie, well the
pics tell the same, she *does* look pluperperfect! Oh screw it you ALL look
pluperperfect! Hope you had a blast!
Heather
"Vicki Robinson" <vjr...@xcski.com> wrote in message
news:8a0qts$4ds$1...@allhats.xcski.com...
> In a previous article, jane lawrence <jan...@excite.com> said:
>
> :I'm a perfectly normal person.
>
> ooooooooo....kay.
>
> :Merrie is perfect. You'd think
> :she was a perfectly normal person from her posts, but she's
> :not. I'm not talking about the kind of perfect you can hate,
> :either. We joke about it, but you just can't do it. She's more
> :perfect than hatable perfect. She's pluperfect.
>
> This is very true. She's even beautiful and elegant, too, even in the
> rain on Fisherman's Wharf. And nice. And serene. It's totally
> unfair.
>
> However, the rest of us were all foxes too, in our individual ways.
> Proof is to be had at
>
> http://xcski.com/~vjrnts/assp/index1.html
>
> The full-sized jpegs are *huge*; if you have a slow connection, you
> might want to wait until I can get them scaled down.
>
> Vicki
Kim Scheinberg
>Okay - okay... *I* am very normal, with a tad of paranoia. I suspect
>people are plotting so that I'll be the big dissappointment at the next
>gathering. But I have a plan...
Dammit. She's on to us
-k. who's through planning *anything* for a while
Brenita Turner
"jpickard" <jpic...@efn.org> wrote in message
news:Pine.GSU.4.05.100030...@garcia.efn.org...
>
> Okay....it seems I spend more time alone with my husband's three
> children than he does (because of his job). If we weren't married
> who would be taking care of his children while he works? Is it
> fair that I have to do it so much of the time?
I know it can be very stressful having a houseful of children. The key
thing you have to remember here is that all the children in the household
must be treated equally or you will have big problems later. If his
children go to daycare, yours should as well.
>
> I don't ask him to do much of anything for my two children.....
> I feed them, bathe them, put them to bed each night, take them
> to and from school.....so why am I the designated babysitter of
> his kids whenever he is at work? I really don't see the fairness in
> that. I try to put myself in his shoes....but I'm not sure I would
> saddle my new spouse with childcare for three somewhat ill behaved
> young children. Just needed to vent. Replies welcome.
Does you husband help support your children? If so, why shouldn't you help
in the care of his children? If they are ill-behaved, you are in a prime
position to change that, although it will take alot of time.
It does sound like you need an occasional break. Why don't you ask him
about getting someone to watch them (all of them) one day every week or two?
Brenita
Sylvia
nice to see faces that have listened to me and I know are out there when
I need them.
Awww... I wanna go to a get-together 8-)~
Sylvia
~Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in
the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet
paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?~
lil & nikki
I had utterly the most fantastic time meeting everyone. Not only was no-one
a disappointment, everyone was just even more wonderful and brilliant in
real life than they are online, and for some of us, that's saying
something!!
Lil and I are the lucky ones. Our get together lasts until this Sunday. I am
truly spoiled.
So for the record, here's the real deal.
Kim's husband is even more wonderful than she's always saying. And Max?
Well, i don't think i can find words for telling y'all (yes TC that one's
especially for you!!) just how cute and lovely he is!! I consider myself
inordinately privileged to have been allowed to look after him from time to
time. Kim herself - well the 3d technicolour version of that particular
chick threw me at first (I'll explain the Earth Mother meets Cool Dude thing
another time) but she not only *matches* the standard set by the rest of her
family - she actually went way past that for me - and everyone else, I'm
sure.
Merrie is serene. That's my word. yes I know Vicki beat me to it and used
that description, but I have to lay claim to using it first!! She especially
endeared herself to me by looking after me when i needed to barf in Haight
Ashbury and cracking drug dealing jokes to keep me amused while I puked!!
thanks Merrie. i needed some support when that bathroom was busy and you
were right there without me needing to say a word.
Jane is great and her biggest credit - Emily - well again I'm speechless at
how lovely she is. Never before have i met a more wonderful Mother and
Daughter pair. I personally request that we rename the group
alt.support.step-parents.and.ex.step-parents so we can hang onto her with
both hands!!
Michelle and Lynne - well we definitely didn't see enough of them...
Michelle nearly made me wet my pants with her stories and her kiddies are
real cuties too.
Lil? Well i've got to be nice about her because she's letting me use her
internet account!! Only kidding - she's just as funny and friendly as i
thought she would be. And she's right. She really did find a great
apartment. She's also going to be turning up some of my trousers so i'll
keep you updated on how good her sewing skills really are!!
Vicki? Well I know she plays Ms Sensible online, but she's a complete and
utter scream and I was very sad to see her leave.
TC? What can i say?! Lovely face, lovely person, lovely accent. i definitely
want to see more of her even though she's traditionally a lurker. And I
really hope that she doesn't receive a court order to remove her pictures
from the web this time because that would be doing the world a huge
disservice. 'Y'eat yet, y'ant to?' is now permanently added to my
vocabulary in her personal honour!!
Sigh. I'm gushing. And you know what? I absolutely *do not* care. Travelling
half way across the world to meet people I met first on the Internet might
be regarded as crazy by some (especially the customs officers in the US and
Canada that asked me 'how' I knew the friends i was going to see!!) but it
has probably been the most worthwhile thing i ever, ever, ever did.
Now a disclaimer. Many of the photos of me were not only taken pre and post
barf session (well that's my excuse for looking so poo in some of them!!)
but i also got blagged into them each and every time by Vicki and Jane who
seemed to have a very good reason for *why* they needed to take that
particular photo at any given time. Next time they say 'but you look so
cute' i'm going to know they're giving me BS!!
I'm off now to enjoy Vancouver. And I think I also get to meet Louise in a
few days. I'm a lucky gal. So, apart from getting to meet those of you that
couldn't make it this time (who would also, btw, be complete lunatics if
they miss the next one!!) I consider my life at this point pretty much
complete!!
Sob!
Love to everyone
Nikki
x
Kim Scheinberg <ik...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:89v6ml$ove$1...@panix2.panix.com...
Mary M
I know what you are going through. My husband invites his son over for
the weekend and then decides he's going out with the guys. Who gets
stuck? ME! We have custody of his daughter. Because of his job i have
my BD, his BD, and our two children from 3:00 until whenever he comes
home from work and sometimes he goes out after work so it's longer then
he has a fit that everything is not done (housework, kids bathed). He
wants all quiet when he comes home. Lifes a B and it 's not that easy.
Sometimes I wonder if he married me to have someone take care of his
children.
He wants to have them, but not take care of them.
Mary M
while. I think the point was that he doesn't spend time with them, and
she has them more than he does. No matter which way you look at it,
it's not fair to her or the children who need him too. Children need
both parents if they are around, he is. Most men love to make the
children, but not take care of them. My husband allows me to stay home
too,
and take care of my BD, his BD, and our two children, it doesn't give
him the right to expect it.
jane lawrence
>
>
> Can I be a passive periphrastic? Or a future less vivid? Maybe
> just an ablative?
>
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo (Catullus 16)
Tracey
<jpic...@efn.org> writes:
>I don't ask him to do much of anything for my two children.....
>I feed them, bathe them, put them to bed each night, take them
>to and from school.....so why am I the designated babysitter of
>his kids whenever he is at work? I really don't see the fairness in
>that. I try to put myself in his shoes....but I'm not sure I would
>saddle my new spouse with childcare for three somewhat ill behaved
>young children. Just needed to vent. Replies welcome.
After reading some of the replies, I'm of two minds on this. I'm a
NCP stepmother (*very* NCP. We average seeing the kids, at the
most, for one period a year. Of course, when/if we move to Hawaii,
that may change <grin>.) The first two summers of our marriage,
we had my youngest stepson for the entire summers. I'm a SAHM
and that was 'doable' for us. But, after those two summers, I said
'Nope. No more all summer visits and when the kids *do* come,
you are to take time off from work.' But, again, we're NCP.
Now, some of the replies have said that since you're a SAHM,
you should be responsible for your stepkids. I *might* agree with
that, but only after hearing more of the way your husband deals
with the whole situation. You see, I don't think I would have taken
the 'You have to take time off from work while the kids are here'
if we would have been able to work out a mutually acceptable
parenting standard. We couldn't. The first summer was pure hell,
the second summer started out okay, because I had thrown a
fit after the first summer was over, but, about halfway through,
it slipped back into the pattern of the first summer <so the second
summer was only half-hell> and, since I wasn't going to be given
the 'perks' of being a parent (i.e., ability to set and enforce punish-
ments, ability to enforce the rules, not being second-guessed or
overruled by my husband when he got home from work, etc.,) I
refused the responsibilities (i.e., having the child there for long
periods of time.) Now (except for the occasional emergency like
last summer), the kids will be here for a week or two. That's all
I will agree to because I can slough it all off for that long.
So, I can't really go along with the posts that say you're responsible
for your stepkids based solely on the fact that you're a SAHM. How
*does* your husband handle it? *Are* you seen as a daycare pro-
vider for your stepkids or does he fully accept and support you as
another parent figure?
Tracey
merrie
Or would TC say - It's all geek to me?
Vicki Robinson <vjr...@xcski.com> wrote in message
news:8a1b48$erj$1...@allhats.xcski.com...
> :
> :Can I be a passive periphrastic? Or a future less vivid? Maybe
> :just an ablative?
> :
>
> We have an opening for a pluperfect subjunctive.
>
> Vicki "I've heard that question a thousand times..." Robinson
Tracey
>financially supported by his working, then you should support him by
>watching the kids. But, that's just my opinion.
I'm not trying to start a big argument or anything, but, you know what
I thought when I read both your reply, Lynne, and Brenita's? That it
sounded as if SAHM should equal slave labor. I'm a SAHM, fully
supported by DH and I have never had him even suggest that he is
'owed' anything because his is the only income. Instead, he thanks me
*daily* for things like fixing meals, cleaning, laundry, errands run, etc.
I think that if my DH ever made a statement that started out 'Since
I financially support you, you must..........' I would.....well, I'm not
sure *what* I would do, but you can bet it wouldn't be very pretty.
Tracey
--
"Oh, bother,' said Pooh, as the Borg assimilated
Piglet.
"B-B-B-But, P-p-p-p-p-pooh! Re-Re-Re-s-s-s-sistance
is f-f-f-f-f-f-futile!" said Piglet.
Lynne Sands
in trouble. I guess what I really meant was *if* he said she could quit
her job to look after her kids, he *probably* was making the assumption
that it meant watching after *all* the kids. And that is during his
working hours I am talking about. But, of course, these are assumptions
and they should have been ironed out *before* she decided to stay home
to watch her kids. After his work hours are done, I fully think it is
his responsibility to take care of *his* kids. If he is going out for a
drink with the boys after work, he should be responsible for finding
someone to watch after them. He could ask her, and she would probably
say yes, but then I would expect that if the tables were turned, he
would do the same for her.
I guess what I should have really said is that this should have been
ironed out before she ended up watching all the kids. Once you get a
routine going - expecially since it is to his advantage - it is going to
be difficult to change it. He made the assumption that she would watch
all the kids, she went along with it (albeit maybe relunctantly) and now
she doesn't like it. Someone (probably her, since she is the one that
doesn't like the arrangement) needs to come up with and present an
alternate plan. Well, I suppose she doesn't *have* to, she could just
one morning take off and leave him with the kids, but if she wants to do
this in a more reasonable way, she should present him with alternate
ways to do this and sit down and discuss which option is best for both
of them.
Lynne
In article <38C5482D...@mediaone.net>, rbran...@aol.com wrote:
> >My personal opinion is that if you are staying home and being
> >financially supported by his working, then you should support him by
> >watching the kids. But, that's just my opinion.
>
> I'm not trying to start a big argument or anything, but, you know what
> I thought when I read both your reply, Lynne, and Brenita's? That it
> sounded as if SAHM should equal slave labor. I'm a SAHM, fully
> supported by DH and I have never had him even suggest that he is
> 'owed' anything because his is the only income. Instead, he thanks me
> *daily* for things like fixing meals, cleaning, laundry, errands run, etc.
No, I don't think being a SAHM equals slave labor! But, it sounds like
she isn't feeling that he is thankful for all the things she does.
Maybe they each had different expectations of what it would mean if she
stayed home. When my hubby stayed off work last year for 10 months, I
know his staying home didn't meet with *my* expectations. And that is
really both of our faults since originally he was only gonna take one or
two months off, so I saw no reason to change our routines. But pretty
soon it was ten months, the kids were still in daycare, I was still
doing all the cooking, shopping, and laundry, and he was still doing the
little that was expected of him as a full time worker. That got very
frustrating to me. He has since gone back to full time work : )
>
> I think that if my DH ever made a statement that started out 'Since
> I financially support you, you must..........' I would.....well, I'm not
> sure *what* I would do, but you can bet it wouldn't be very pretty.
>
> Tracey
>
And I wouldn't blame you for whatever you did. Two people need to come
up with a mutual agreement on how things are to be done. No one
individual should be allowed to dictate to the other under *any*
circumstances.
Tracey
>in trouble.
Ah, Lynne, you're not in trouble. I knew that you didn't mean it the way
I stretched it.
>I guess what I really meant was *if* he said she could quit her job to
>look after her kids, he *probably* was making the assumption that it
>meant watching after *all* the kids. And that is during his working
>hours I am talking about.
Probably so. Hey, Sandi, can we ask for some clarification here? What
exactly were the discussions and the agreements about your staying home?
For my husband and I, we had this/these discussions before we even
decided definitely to marry. You see, I was in the Navy at the time, stationed
in Hawaii, he was in the Army and stationed in California. We were both
obligated to remain in our respective states for at least another 3 years. Due
to our being in different services, doing different jobs AND the fact that he
was an officer, I was just a lowly enlisted, it was pretty much a given that
*if* we got married, one of us would have to get out of the service. And,
since his income was much higher than mine and he was the one with the
CS obligations and bills (I had no debts), it was pretty obvious I would be
the one getting out. Then we discussed when/if I would get a job. The
agreement was that I would go back to college until/unless I got pregnant,
then I would remain at home until the baby was in kindergarten. And then,
I got pregnant two days after I got out of the Navy and moved to Califor-
nia <grin>. So, here I am, anxiously awaiting the fall.
>But, of course, these are assumptions and they should have been
>ironed out *before* she decided to stay home to watch her kids.
>After his work hours are done, I fully think it is his responsibility to
>take care of *his* kids. If he is going out for a drink with the boys
>after work, he should be responsible for finding someone to watch
>after them. He could ask her, and she would probably say yes,
>but then I would expect that if the tables were turned, he would do
>the same for her.
Agreed. So, Sandi, what happens when you need/want to go some-
where? Are you responsible for finding childcare? Can you count on
your husband to watch *all* of the kids while you're gone?
>I guess what I should have really said is that this should have been
>ironed out before she ended up watching all the kids. Once you get a
>routine going - expecially since it is to his advantage - it is going to
>be difficult to change it. He made the assumption that she would watch
>all the kids, she went along with it (albeit maybe relunctantly) and now
>she doesn't like it.
Yes, I agree, changing the status quo is tough.
>Someone (probably her, since she is the one that doesn't like the
>arrangement) needs to come up with and present an alternate plan.
>Well, I suppose she doesn't *have* to, she could just one morning
>take off and leave him with the kids, but if she wants to do this in a
>more reasonable way, she should present him with alternate ways
>to do this and sit down and discuss which option is best for both
>of them.
I agree again. My husband is really good about the fact that I'm home
all day. He rarely (read NEVER) does anything without us along. There's
none of this 'I'm going over to Joe's for a while.' Even when I suggest that
he should go somewhere alone, he doesn't. I've had to physically force him
out the door a couple of times (like to go to computer shows) just to get
him to go without us. OTOH, when we lived in California, every Wednesday
night and Saturday morning was 'my' time when I would go to a local ceramic
shop and work on stuff. He never fussed about it, he always showed up from
work on time to watch the kids, etc.
>No, I don't think being a SAHM equals slave labor!
I knew that, Lynne. In fact, I had come back to post a retraction of sorts.
I realized that sounded pretty inflammatory.
>But, it sounds like she isn't feeling that he is thankful for all the things
>she does.
Yep.
>Maybe they each had different expectations of what it would mean if she
>stayed home. When my hubby stayed off work last year for 10 months, I
>know his staying home didn't meet with *my* expectations. And that is
>really both of our faults since originally he was only gonna take one or
>two months off, so I saw no reason to change our routines. But pretty
>soon it was ten months, the kids were still in daycare, I was still
>doing all the cooking, shopping, and laundry, and he was still doing the
>little that was expected of him as a full time worker. That got very
>frustrating to me. He has since gone back to full time work : )
I can see where that would have been frustrating.
>And I wouldn't blame you for whatever you did. Two people need to come
>up with a mutual agreement on how things are to be done. No one
>individual should be allowed to dictate to the other under *any*
>circumstances.
<nod>
I think I said in another post that I was of two minds about this and
then never said what my other 'mind' was. I think I've pretty well ex-
plained that I can understand the feeling of being a daycare provider
and not particularly enjoying that feeling. My other 'mind' is that if
Sandi's husband fully supports her being a parent figure to her step-
children and supports her decisions while he's not around, maybe
the problem isn't so much being in charge of her stepkids all of the
time but just that she's in charge of *any* kids all of the time. I've
been pretty tied down since we moved here (11 months ago). I
haven't found a place to call my 'home away from home' and escape
to on a regular basis and there are just times when DH gets home
from work and I'm waiting at the door with keys in hand and say 'I'm
outta here! There are leftovers in the fridge or you can order out. I'm
going to the bookstore/the mall/Frank's/wherever and will be back
later.'
So, yoohoo! Sandi! You wanna come back and give us a few more
details? Maybe all you *really* need is some suggestions on how to
get out without the kids.
--
Brenita Turner
"Tracey" <rbra...@mediaone.net> wrote in message
news:38C5482D...@mediaone.net...
> >My personal opinion is that if you are staying home and being
> >financially supported by his working, then you should support him by
> >watching the kids. But, that's just my opinion.
>
> I'm not trying to start a big argument or anything, but, you know what
> I thought when I read both your reply, Lynne, and Brenita's? That it
> sounded as if SAHM should equal slave labor. I'm a SAHM, fully
> supported by DH and I have never had him even suggest that he is
> 'owed' anything because his is the only income. Instead, he thanks me
> *daily* for things like fixing meals, cleaning, laundry, errands run, etc.
No, I did not mean it to sound like slave labor at all, and as I read some
of the other information on the situation, other things do come to light. I
alsoseem to have missed the part about him not doing much of the hands-on
care of her children the first time I read it. My main argument is that all
the children should be treated equally, otherwise jelousies and rifts are
created. But they should also be treated equally by the husband as well.
PS: Any man with a SAHW SHOULD be thanking her daily. . .
Brenita
>
> I think that if my DH ever made a statement that started out 'Since
> I financially support you, you must..........' I would.....well, I'm not
> sure *what* I would do, but you can bet it wouldn't be very pretty.
>
Anne Robotti
Tracey wrote:
>
> I think that if my DH ever made a statement that started out 'Since
> I financially support you, you must..........' I would.....well, I'm not
> sure *what* I would do, but you can bet it wouldn't be very pretty.
>
One thing I definitely would do would be to get a job. That very day.
Because if you're in a relationship where money is going to determine
what one person gets to dictate to and demand of the other person, I'd
want to be the one with the money.
Anne "Pronoun Trouble" Robotti
R3dH3d
only supposed to have two, but then each one of them as two, and so on, and so
on.)
This is my traveling personality - normally I can't stand AOL, but at .10/min
access charge from a hotel in LA - I'll read and compose offline,thank you.
My version of the gathering in LA is a big ditto to everyone else's comments.
Let me add that I was amazed at how 'easy' everything was. A big thanks to Kim
for the assistance in that dept -she's a wonderful hostess. But it was truly
interesting at how quickly we slipped into dialog - as if we were college
roommates getting together for a slumber party a few years after graduation.
The other thing that was of particular interest to me was how stunningly
intelligent everyone is, and how funny. The wit was quick and bright from all
- I don't think I've laughed so hard and so many times in years. A wonderful
reprieve from the stress of day-to-day.
I'm also pleased to see that I've passed the ya'll on... Scarlett would be
proud.
TC
Geri and Brian
>we're
>only supposed to have two, but then each one of them as two, and so on, and
>so
>on.)
This scares me. Not only do we have the same BM - I am also a Gemini. See you
later, TC. (Don't you just love this Southern California RAIN? We are building
an ark.)
Geri
~~~~~~~~
There is indeed, no single quality of the cat that man could not emulate to his
advantage. ~~~ Carl Van Vechten
~~~~~~~~~~
To e-mail us, dump the litterbox. :-)
Tracey
<rob...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>One thing I definitely would do would be to get a job. That very day.
>Because if you're in a relationship where money is going to determine
>what one person gets to dictate to and demand of the other person, I'd
>want to be the one with the money.
Anne, that would be right after I did the 'not very pretty' thing. <grin>
Tracey
Mary M
Why shouldn't we be appreciated? We bust our A--'s to take care of not
only our children, but their's too. Most men don't take any
responsibility taking care of either sets of children(that's how it is
here). I do it all......etc, the laundy, cooking, cleaning, dishes and
that is with no help, he'll come home and want peace and quiet.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, with 4 children in the house 3 girls 13(SD), 9(BD), our 2
yr old, and our 6 month old son. And on the weekends my SS 11. What
peace and quiet? Where's mine? I can't go anywhere without one of the
children with me at all times, It's pathetic!!!!!!! I don't ask to be
treated like a queen, the only thing I ask for is maybe do a load of
laundry, cook a dinner, maybe even (on the weekend) to let me sleep an
extra hour one day. Isn't that funny.
Tracey
And, as with Lynne, I *knew* you didn't really mean it that way, Brenita.
I agree with the 'if you're a SAHPerson, there are things that *normally*
are your responsibility (or should be)', I just have a problem with equating
or implying that the person with the paying job is 'owed' *anything* by
the person with the non-paying job. I do what I do not out of a sense that
I 'owe' my husband so much work or support because he brings in the
income, but because I love my family and I want them to have a good life.
If I felt that I was having to earn his financial support by doing housework
and cleaning and refereeing arguments and wiping children's butts and
cleaning up vomit, etc., I would be out the door and have a job in a heart-
beat because there is NOT enough money in the world to pay for that,
as far as I'm concerned. <grin>
>and as I read some of the other information on the situation, other things
>do come to light. I also seem to have missed the part about him not
>doing much of the hands-on care of her children the first time I read it.
>My main argument is that all the children should be treated equally,
>otherwise jelousies and rifts are created. But they should also be
>treated equally by the husband as well.
Agreed.
>PS: Any man with a SAHW SHOULD be thanking her daily. . .
<grin> A side benefit of this is that our children do it, too, after hearing
him for the last few years. To hear, nightly, from your 12yo and your 4yo
'Thank you, Mom/Momma, that was very good' after dinner is eaten
(even if the 12yo has to force it out when it's something he doesn't like
so well) is pretty nice.
--
Mary M
appreciation or acknowledgement from DH or SD. Alot of times that is
not the case. Most SAHW's just want to be acnowledged, not expected.
Most of us don't want much, how about help on the weekends, they are not
working then. I know DH is tired during the week, he's a truck driver,
and 2 days out of 5 he's home before 1, he leaves the house between 5
a.m. and 6:30 a.m. It's our business, I started, he drives but I take
care of the paperwork and any other business related issues. My day
starts at 6 a.m. when my 6 month old wakes up and by the time everything
else is done (we a total of 4 children) I don't get to bed until 12 or
1. Who works harder? I think this SAHW, not DH. Thanks for listening!