Meeting Fiance's Son
va...@tdi.net
I will be meeting my fiance's son very soon. He is 4 1/2 years old and
has heard nothing but bad things about me from his mother. What should
I expect from a child that age? When he is with his father he asks
questions about me and asks why mommy won't let him see me, he never
speaks bad about me. I actually think he's kind of curious. I'm
looking forward to meeting him, but I'm so afraid he's going to reject
me. I don't know if I can handle that. Any advice?
Thanks.
Cathy Cameron
Just be yourself, Kids are intuitive, and if you are nice, the child will
know it.
Good Luck,
Cathy Cameron
va...@tdi.net wrote in article <358982...@tdi.net>...
Barbara Eppers
I have 2 boys from a previous, when my husband mom met me and the boys, i
was so nervous,,.at the time my boys were 2 & 4......( 6&7 now).....His mom
was herself....wonderful lady....accepted the boys as her
grandchildren.....which took the edge off of me............ Just be
yourself....enjoy the kids......they will love you to no end..........
Barb
lilbl...@my-dejanews.com
In article <358982...@tdi.net>,
va...@tdi.net wrote:
>
> I'm
> looking forward to meeting him, but I'm so afraid he's going to reject
> me. I don't know if I can handle that. Any advice?
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I first met my stepson when
he was 3 1/2 and--let me tell you--I am *not* his mother's favorite person!
You have to realize that children of this age will have an initial shyness,
so don't misinterpret that as rejection. Although it's always a possibility
(because there is no way to guess what a kid's going to do), don't expect him
to rush up and hug you and love you right away. But I would be willing to
guess that he's at too young an age to have developed any feelings at all
towards you except curiosity.
As well as this, you're probably going to have problems with overstepping the
boundaries as he sees them. You might want to prepare yourself for "Don't
kiss my daddy," or "Why are you holding my daddy's hand? He's my daddy."
He's not really resenting you or anything, but he will be a little concerned
that he's being squeezed out.
The fact that you're on here asking for advice is a terrific start. Don't
let the occasional nastiness on here get to you...the real support you will
receive from these people will be well worth the trouble! Keep interested in
forming a real relationship with your future stepson. It's been a long road,
but my stepson is 8 y.o. now and (although his mother has gotten considerably
better) nothing she might say would sway his own opinion of me. Just hang in
there (treat and entertainment bribes are wonderful things, so long as you're
careful not to spoil him) and he'll love you for everything you want to be
for him!
lil
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janelaw
Don't take it personally, if he rejects you. He doesn't know
YOU. Don't worry ahead of time either. If you are all tense,
he'll get nervous.
More important, don't expect too much. A 4 1/2 yo is not
necessarily an angel, or even a person with whom you want to
spend time. It's a funny age. There is a lot of whining,
demanding, yelling, and refusal to let anyone help them do
anything. And they stop taking naps! OTOH, you can do all
kinds of fun stuff at this age, like painting, gardening,
soccer, cooking, housework (!), swimming, going to the zoo,
etc. Just don't make the mistake of thinking they will do
anything for more than a few hours.
The 4 yo's I have known liked costumes, fake tattoos, animals,
water balloons, non scary rides, brushing my hair, washing
dishes, The Wizard of Oz, nail polish, face painting, hot dogs
and french fries, not necessarily in that order.
va...@tdi.net wrote:
>
> I will be meeting my fiance's son very soon. He is 4 1/2 years old and
> has heard nothing but bad things about me from his mother. What should
> I expect from a child that age? When he is with his father he asks
> questions about me and asks why mommy won't let him see me, he never
> speaks bad about me. I actually think he's kind of curious. I'm
> looking forward to meeting him, but I'm so afraid he's going to reject
> me. I don't know if I can handle that. Any advice?
>
> Thanks.