Definition of 'friend', by a shy lonely man
Robert Maas
by Robert Elton Maas
Edited from my diary "I was a teenage mathematician".
A friend is:
A person who likes to be around you, and who enjoys being
around to help if he can when you are in a bad mood, upset, depressed,
unhappy, lonely, worried, puzzled or otherwise not the best of company
for a while. A real friend gives you good advice if he has it, but
doesn't try to enslave you or force you to change if you don't
understand how the change will help life. A friend has some common
interest with you that the two of you can enjoy together. A friend is
not afraid to get closer to you, learning more about you, sharing more
about himself; a friend wants to be close.
If a friend is unsure he understood something you did or said,
he asks for more information. If he is bothered by something you did,
he asks you why you did it. If he disputes the reasons, he is willing
to hear your side and to discuss the issue, not debate it.
And basic to all this is an illogical unexplained liking for
you and a willingness to let this liking express itself and guide him.
He's just gotta like you so much that he always wants to be with you
soon. And you must be fair in your demands upon him, not "use" him,
but enjoy and make full use of the friendship he offers.
A "friend" is not a game you play in a group. It is an
individual one-to-one human relationship which exists independently of
any other person or thing. It may be initiated or enhanced or promoted
by a hobby or by the presence of other people, but the relationship
exists as a slight love of the two people for each other.
Someone you would tell the truth to, even if it hurts him, because it
would hurt him and you more to lie or conceal.
Someone you tell all the interesting thing you do, ditto reverse, such
that you enjoy telling, hearing, doing.
Someone you can really talk to.
Someone who can see you in all your moods, good & bad, help you through
the bad ones, and not abandon you just because your bad moods annoy
him.
Someone on whom you can burden your problems.
Someone who likes to do the same things you do, and do them with you,
and you like to do them with him too.
Someone with whom you can discuss the really important things in your
life and plan for life the way you want it.
Someone who cares about you enough to get involved.
Someone who likes you and whom you like and who knows so much about you
that he can almost begin to understand some tiny part of you.
Someone who keeps you informed of his whereabouts (trips, vacations,
new jobs, moving, ...) and who is interested in your whereabouts.
Someone to have around to talk to when I need someone. Someone to fill
that lonely gap in my life which is almost always.
Someone who invites me to visit him:
(1) By his own free will + initiative, not in response to my request or
proximity.
(2) Personally to me, not just "everyone who is around".
(3) Purpose of visit is to be together and develop our relationship, or
to do things together, not for professionally interviewing or treating
me for mental disorders. No strings attached, just "come as you are
and visit".
(4) Doesn't go off and forget that I'm there.
(5) Actual consumation of the visit per the invitation.
(6) The person is approximately my age.
Someone who lets you park your car in front of their house when you are
lonely.
Somebody who comes over when I've been getting harassing phone calls,
and sits with me until the phone rings again, and answers my phone for
me, and explains to the caller that I want them to stop harassing me.
(Girlfriend, Lover, Wife):
Someone who likes me enough to kiss me a lot.
Someone I can love, but someone who truly deserves my love and accepts
it.
Someone with whom I can establish a relationship that includes all of
the following: kissing, hugging, sleeping together, talking and
communicating, doing things together, sharing, teaching each other,
loving each other.
Someone with whom I can find out what it is like to have a sexual partner.
Someone with whom I can rear children of our own.
our home, nor abandon us, nor have affairs with other men.
Taya
T
"Robert Maas" <r...@shell.netmagic.net> wrote in message
news:sgos5h...@corp.supernews.com...
Worthless Fred
Taya <tly...@txucom.net> escribió en el mensaje de noticias
8ehs3t$c...@atlas.lcc.net...
> That is very beautiful Robert.
> T
Yes, I liked this post too.
WF
Robert Maas
> That is very beautiful Robert.
In my whole life, I've never met anybody who wanted to be my friend.
Would you like to be my friend?
Robert Maas
> Yes, I liked this post too.
In my whole life, I've never met anybody who wanted to be my friend.
Would you like to be my friend?
Several people have said I'm a nice person but they don't need any new
friends, so I should go find somebody else to be friends with. Nobody
has ever wanted me for their own personal friend.
ric
Robert Maas wrote in message ...
>Taya said:
>> That is very beautiful Robert.
>In my whole life, I've never met anybody who wanted to be my friend.
>Would you like to be my friend?
I'll answer for me - as much as I can be, I am... but I am one of those
who does not have time for a close personal friendship online for I am
seeking such relationships offline...
your never having a friend is a confession that shows our strength...
your vulnerability and desperate desire to find a friend - to find
someone who cares to get to know who you are is powerful... that
probably scares a lot of people away... it's probably misunderstood by
some innocently or because they are defensive of openness due to their
own past history...
I know when my hunger grows too strong, it pushes people away... so I
somehow must find inner satisfaction... what I do is accept that I am
alone in this body and always will be - and no matter what I do I'm
always going to be the only one "in here" (here being my head, for
starters)... and I find peace being alone inside by creating my own
world where I need nothing to be happy or amused... it may be a mental
game or meditation or some spiritual leap, but it works...
then I can look around with desire to share - to give - but not the
burning desire to possess or control or expect more in the next
moment... I can experience and enjoy the current moment complete within
my world, ready to share someone else's in the larger world...
whether this makes sense or not, it works for me... and I can say that
I've never known anyone who truly knew me, so therefore I've never known
a true friend for no matter how caring someone is - no matter how much
someone wants to be with me, the true close friend is one who knows the
deepest realities and fantasies inside...
sharing that is too much for some... asking someone to share that is
asking for too much for some... perhaps for many... and in asking,
defenses pop up... and when asked again, it's almost as if the question,
the request for more caring itself is viewed as some sort of attack... I
think that's because some feel inadequate when they are asked to be more
real and share more than they are comfortable sharing (or more than they
know of themselves) and asking for more makes them face these
inadequacies... being in denial about them, they see the person trying
to care and share as a threat to their illusion... of course this is
just what I see from my awareness level...
those with more awarenes see more, less see less... and whatever is
right or wrong is for an individual to decide... laws are agreed upon
rights and wrongs, but that does not make something right or wrong...
so all this to say, we must take care asking for deeper friendship when
we are wanting to share intensely for some people will read honest
desire to share as some sort of threat... so take care...
I hope you find someone who is at the right place in their life to have
the time and desire to share what you seek to share... you deserve it...
keep sharing yourself as well as you can and stay hopeful :)
honest love, ric
"I'm glad I didn't know
The the way it all would end...
The way it would go.
My life is better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
But I would have had to miss the dance."
~ Garth Brooks ~
ric
beautiful Robert - let this light shine through :)
we each have our own definition of what a friend is - and expressing
it - clarifying it to ourselves is an essential part of understanding
who we are and what we really want in life and from others... it's
individual and connecting with others who match most, if not all ofn our
criteria is finding a true friend... defining it and setting our
boundaries is what healthiness is about from my perspective...
I enjoyed this post... stay positive and keep letting your heart out :)
honest love, ric
"everyone I've ever known has wished me well
anyway that's how it seems, it's hard to tell
maybe people only ask you how you're doing
'cause that's easier than letting on how little they could care
but when you know that you've got a real friend somewhere
suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear"
~ Jackson Browne ~
Robert Maas wrote in message ...
Unicorn
"ric" <asl...@REMOVE-BEFORE-SENDINGegroups.com> wrote in message
news:8eic9m$3cc4$2...@newssvr03-int.news.prodigy.com...
Robert Maas
Thank you for liking it and expressing your like.
I wrote that 25-30 years ago, and to this date have never found
anybody interested in being friends with me per what I wrote.
I've found little pieces, such as Duane Austin and Dave Goldfarb's
family who let me park in front of their homes when I lived in my car
(and even BenteL's father defended me when neighbors called the police
to ask why I was parked in front of BenteL's family's house).
My mother was a real shithead! When she had terminal breast cancer and
visited California one last time, I begged her to visit the Goldfarbs,
the mother of which had been a co-worker of my mother, but my mother
shunned Mrs. Goldfarb, refused to visit her, as if anybody who does me
a favor becomes an enemy to my shit-eating mother. I'm glad she died.
I'm only sad that to her dying day she never treated me, nor anyone I
liked, decently.
Robert Maas
therefore I've never known a true friend for no matter how caring
someone is - no matter how much someone wants to be with me, the true
close friend is one who knows the deepest realities and fantasies
inside.>>
You said that beautifully. See next:
<<I hope you find someone who is at the right place in their life to
have the time and desire to share what you seek to share... you
deserve it.>>
I never found anybody like that first passage above until this month
when CreamGem e-found me and we became totally open with each other
via e-mail and for the first time ever I found somebody who almost
understands me (she still, at last writing, had at least two
misconceptions about me which I haven't been able to rid her of).
<<keep sharing yourself as well as you can and stay hopeful>>
Some people, such as Pamela, don't want me to share myself. How can we
get her to stop interfering with my attempts to find people to share
with?
CreamGem and I have been sharing our deepest realities and fantasies.
It is such a wonderful e-mail relationship like none other. Only Bronwyn
with me came halfway close to this level of intimacy&understanding.
(Well, maybe dead2u halfway too, from a different direction.)
Robert Maas
Lines 125 Re: Definition of 'friend', by a shy lonely Respno 7 of 7
uni...@b4futures.com Unicorn at Infobahn International Inc.
> carrying..
Ok, that's it. You've flagrantly violated UseNet guidelines by copying
other people's articles, mostly mine but now ric's also, without
adding anything of your except that spammed "carrying" line. I'll
definitely complain to your ISP, and I suggest anybody else who
witnesses your 'carrying' to complain likewise. You just waste
bandwidth by copying other people's articles without adding anything
of your own, and it's quite apparent you're doing it deliberately.
Mac'sOpus
if your intention was to bring attention to this post you really
should have used *robert maas* in the topic line... this will
surely get lost in the threads quickly.
*d*
In article <#l4lxA6s$GA.228@cpmsnbbsa03>, "Unicorn"
<Unicorn...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Hey Robert.. get it right at least
>Unicorn is at B4futures.Com.. not even on the same network
>they are not me, and I am not them
>
>I ask you again based on publicly accessed information from
your own html
>resume.
>
>Robert Elton Maas
>2235 California Street
>Mountain View California 94040
>
>Phone number available at request.
>
>Leave me alone, leave my name out of your posts, stay out of my
email, I
>have no desire to communicate with you.
>I am tired of your threats. and I say again, any email
forwarded to me by
>woman who have experienced your stalking email messages or real
life
>stalking behavior.. Forward the email to the California
authorities, do not
>let this man threaten you
>
>Pamela
>
>
>
>"Robert Maas" <r...@shell.netmagic.net> wrote in message
>news:sgrirs...@corp.supernews.com...
>> Sun, 30 Apr 2000 21:23:09 alt.support.loneliness
Thread 24 of
>34
>> Lines 125 Re: Definition of 'friend', by a shy lonely
Respno 7 of
>7
>> uni...@b4futures.com>
>> > carrying..
>>
>> Ok, that's it. You've flagrantly violated UseNet guidelines
by copying
>> other people's articles, mostly mine but now ric's also,
without
>> adding anything of your except that spammed "carrying" line.
I'll
>> definitely complain to your ISP, and I suggest anybody else
who
>> witnesses your 'carrying' to complain likewise. You just waste
>> bandwidth by copying other people's articles without adding
anything
>> of your own, and it's quite apparent you're doing it
deliberately.
>>
>
>
>
>
"Please forgive all the disturbance I'm creating."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Stewart/sna
r...@shell.netmagic.net (Robert Maas) wrote:
-snip-
>Your implication that I have stalked anyone constitues libel.
Oh yeah??
Well your implication that they are guilty of libel constitutes libel.
So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Oooops, does my implication that you smoke constitute libel??
Sincerely
Stewart
--
The Metaphor Man *and* The Great Defender of the Self
metaphor...@usaor.net or anon...@anon.twwells.com
(remove the SPAMBLOCK)
Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.
Mac'sOpus
give him five minutes to think of what *robert maas* civil right
this offends and who to send a complaint to... the marlboro man
is dead, maybe smokey the bear...
*d*
Robert Maas
> Unicorn is at B4futures.Com.. not even on the same network
> they are not me, and I am not them
Are you trying to claim there are two different people who both sign
'Pamela' and have 'Unicorn' as their nickname and post the same libel
about me as each other? More likely you got thrown off those other
ISPs you were libeling me from. It's always the same you posting
nasty lies about me, just that you get thrown off one network and
so switch to another.
<<stay out of my email>>
I never e-mail you. Your implication that you do constitutes libel.
<<any email forwarded to me by woman who have experienced your
stalking email messages or real life stalking behavior.>>
You must get pretty lonely there, since there are no such women,
because I've never stalked anyone anywhere on or off the net. Your
Robert Maas
> So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
> Oooops, does my implication that you smoke constitute libel??
Yes. Please don't say/imply that again. This is your warning ticket.
Stewart/sna
>metaphor...@usaor.net said:
>> So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
>> Oooops, does my implication that you smoke constitute libel??
r...@shell.netmagic.net (Robert Maas) wrote:
>Yes. Please don't say/imply that again. This is your warning ticket.
Robert, this is a threat. You deliberately don't way what you are warning
me of because you deliberately want me to fear the worst. I feel
physically threatend by you. I am scared that you will come to my home
and hurt me. And given what people say here about you, I have every
justification to fear you. Don't threaten me again Robert. This is your
warning ticket.
I am forwarding this post on to my local police department. This way if
anything happens to me, they will know who did it.
Robert Maas
of because you deliberately want me to fear the worst.>>
You're paranoid. I want you to fear whatever is appropriate for your
level of abuse of me. For example, sending me 918 e-mail in April, and
implying that I smoke. Compare that to Pamela who has committed many
many counts of libel against me, who is going to be knocked off her
ISP (and her BBS she runs is going to lose its feed). So, considering
your relatively minor transgression, what's appropriate?
<<I feel physically threatend by you. I am scared that you will come
to my home and hurt me.>>
You have no basis for that fear, since I've never done that to anybody
else nor even threatened it to anybody else.
<<And given what people say here about you, I have every
justification to fear you.>>
"people"??? What people? Any such are as unreasonably paranoid as you.
You're an idiot to believe false rumors such as Pamela/Unicorn posts.
Stewart/sna
>Stewart/sna said: <<You deliberately don't say what you are warning me
>of because you deliberately want me to fear the worst.>>
r...@shell.netmagic.net (Robert Maas) wrote:
>You're paranoid. I want you to fear whatever is appropriate for your
>level of abuse of me. For example, sending me 918 e-mail in April, and
>implying that I smoke. Compare that to Pamela who has committed many
>many counts of libel against me, who is going to be knocked off her
>ISP (and her BBS she runs is going to lose its feed). So, considering
>your relatively minor transgression, what's appropriate?
Your implication that I sent you 918 e-mail in April is a slanderous
lie. You say this here because you know that I know it is a lie. You
tell a lie here that both of us know is a lie, so that I will know you you
lie about the "appropriate level" of fear you want me to feel. The fact
of the matter is that you are trying to scare me, and that you are leaving
the actual details of your threat deliberately vague so that I will be as
scared as possible from your threat. I know the level of fear that I feel
from you. It is the level that caused me to send a copy of this e-mail to
my local police department. That way if you try to harm me in any way,
there will be an official legal record of how you stalked and threatend me
here.
><<I feel physically threatend by you. I am scared that you will come
>to my home and hurt me.>>
>
>You have no basis for that fear, since I've never done that to anybody
>else nor even threatened it to anybody else.
Many people here claim that you have harrased and stalked people, and
that there are police records and restraining orders etcetera against you
in Mountain View California, and that the police there know you by name.
It is clear to me that anyone having any contact with you should feel
afraid for their physical safety.
><<And given what people say here about you, I have every
>justification to fear you.>>
>
>"people"??? What people? Any such are as unreasonably paranoid as you.
>You're an idiot to believe false rumors such as Pamela/Unicorn posts.
Oh right. I should believe a stalker like you then??
Unicorn
I wish all would come forth and help stop this man
this fear he causes is real in many woman who are lonely, depressed or shy
and your correct, they know his name
if you allow the fear he instills to control your reporting him
he won't be stopped from doing it to other woman
Pamela
"Stewart/sna" <metaphor...@usaor.net> wrote in message
news:metaphorSPAMBLOCK...@dap-216-151-66-145.pri.tnt-1.pgh.pa.
stargate.net...
Mel Matsuoka
wrote:
>
>>metaphor...@usaor.net said:
>>> So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
>>> Oooops, does my implication that you smoke constitute libel??
>
>r...@shell.netmagic.net (Robert Maas) wrote:
>>Yes. Please don't say/imply that again. This is your warning ticket.
>
>
>Robert, this is a threat. You deliberately don't way what you are warning
>me of because you deliberately want me to fear the worst. I feel
>physically threatend by you. I am scared that you will come to my home
>and hurt me. And given what people say here about you, I have every
>justification to fear you. Don't threaten me again Robert. This is your
>warning ticket.
>
>I am forwarding this post on to my local police department. This way if
>anything happens to me, they will know who did it.
Stewart,
Make sure you put a piece of paper in your pocket with robert's email address
(make sure to remove the "shell"), so when they find your body, the authorities
know who to track down and question regarding your untimely death.
Apparantly this is the accepted protocol for these types of things.
regards
Stewart/sna
>metaphor...@usaor.net (Stewart/sna) wrote:
>>I am forwarding this post on to my local police department. This way if
>>anything happens to me, they will know who did it.
melo...@nospam.gov wrote:
>Make sure you put a piece of paper in your pocket with robert's email address
>(make sure to remove the "shell"), so when they find your body, the authorities
>know who to track down and question regarding your untimely death.
>Apparantly this is the accepted protocol for these types of things.
Ooooo, I like this sort of thing. Maybe I could get one of those
bracelets. You know, like one that says you are an epileptic or a
diabetic or allergic to bee stings or whatever. Only mine could say;
"Robert Maas stalked me, slandered me, libeled me, and threatend me. This
may look like an accident, but I think he did this to me....." I wonder
if this could be used in a court of law as a "dying declaration".
Sincrerely
Mel Matsuoka
wrote:
>
>>metaphor...@usaor.net (Stewart/sna) wrote:
>>>I am forwarding this post on to my local police department. This way if
>>>anything happens to me, they will know who did it.
>
>
>melo...@nospam.gov wrote:
>>Make sure you put a piece of paper in your pocket with robert's email address
>>(make sure to remove the "shell"), so when they find your body, the authorities
>>know who to track down and question regarding your untimely death.
>>Apparantly this is the accepted protocol for these types of things.
>
>
>Ooooo, I like this sort of thing. Maybe I could get one of those
>bracelets. You know, like one that says you are an epileptic or a
>diabetic or allergic to bee stings or whatever. Only mine could say;
>"Robert Maas stalked me, slandered me, libeled me, and threatend me. This
>may look like an accident, but I think he did this to me....." I wonder
>if this could be used in a court of law as a "dying declaration".
Stewart,
What a brilliant idea! Just one thing though...make certain that the words you
choose to have emblazoned on the bracelet are spelled correctly, or else the
police department will be unable to pursue the lead. The authorities are
sticklers about impeccable spelling. Seems wierd that they would care so much
about spelling, doesn't it?
regards
Oliver Broadway
(Robert Maas) wrote:
> > So there. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
> > Oooops, does my implication that you smoke constitute libel??
>
> Yes. Please don't say/imply that again. This is your warning ticket.
You're taking the piss now, aren't you, Robert? *Please* say you're taking
the piss...
Of course, you know, if you were actually to sue for libel over this,
you'd be laughed out of court.
Ollie
Aquaman loves an Angel
I just can't figure out why you need to say in every one of your
posts that someone has committed libel against you.
Try preparation-H, man, it might help what ails you.
Also in case you haven't figured it out, people have tired of your
antics.
Catch you later, I'm going to go tell my mom that someone spit out
gum on the front stoop. Just doing my best to follow in the man's
footsteps.
Foolio!
Keith
Robert Maas
email address (make sure to remove the "shell"), so when they find
your body, the authorities know who to track down and question
regarding your untimely death.>>
Gee, this is going to be fun! I would never do what you suggest.
Chances are I'll be in the middle of a marathon e-mail chat with
CreamGem at the time that somebody else murders him, and although the
police will question me, it'll be obvious that I couldn't possibly get
there and back during the 5 minutes between outgoing messages which were
documented at both ends matching. Given his history of committing
libel against me, he'll be posthumously convicted of one more count of
libel, i.e. the note in his pocket will be considered libel, because
it was false but did me harm, namely interrupted my e-mail marathon
thereby depriving me of quality of life with the woman I love.