Do I tell a girl that I'm a virgin?
Phil
up with a girlfriend, great!
However in my 28 years I've had exactly one sexual experience, and that was
with an escort and it was over rather quick! I'm pretty sure that the next
time I see her we are going to end up sleeping together. My problem is that
it's going to be totally obvious to her that I haven't got a clue what I'm
doing! I'm not technically a virgin but I might as well be!
Do I explain to her my lack of experience beforehand or just not say
anything about it.. If I say something she's going to wonder what the hell
is wrong with me that she's only the second girl I've been with, but
otherwise how do I explain my lack of 'knowledge'?
phil.
Sklenge
You know how to have sex don't you, I'm assuming this isn't the problem, so
you're talking about professionalism?
Perhaps you can 'explain' it by saying that you are more interested in how
you can make her feel good during sex and the only way to find that out is
to ask her what she wants and try stuff - which can come across as either
lacking knowledge OR being experimental.
You do lack knowledge; knowledge of her. A first time with one woman is a
first time with any woman from this perspective.
Hope you both have a great time.
Otto Ramone
--
remove "NOSPAM" from address to reply, or wonder why your mail was returned
"Phil" <ph...@myaddress.com> wrote in message
news:c7nr8s$nqi$1...@ucsnew1.ncl.ac.uk...
Pumpkinhead
> Do I explain to her my lack of experience beforehand or just not say
> anything about it.. If I say something she's going to wonder what the hell
> is wrong with me that she's only the second girl I've been with,
You seem to have some understanding of how women think.
> but
> otherwise how do I explain my lack of 'knowledge'?
What is the truth? Maybe girls have just not liked you before. That's what
I'll have to say if I ever have sex. I think you should tell her about your
lack of experience though. Maybe at the last minute.
Ineedmoney
Personally I would act as if you are hiding a secret, make youself
mysterious. Then when she pleades with you to tell her, you can tell her.
thats what id do. Probably work better than just telling her I think.
Ed
Kelly H.
NO!
Victor
"Kelly H." <kel...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3e7v90tc2dloch964...@4ax.com...
Why?
So he's not a man-whore, why is that bad?
BDB
> Do I explain to her my lack of experience beforehand or just not say
> anything about it.. If I say something she's going to wonder what the hell
> is wrong with me that she's only the second girl I've been with, but
> otherwise how do I explain my lack of 'knowledge'?
Absolutely DON'T tell her. There is really nothing to it, if you read
up and actually try to please her you will seem better than most
guys with experience. Go to www.fastseduction.com and look for
info there. Or google for Manic High Guide, I think that is the name
of a good overview. Basically, always build up the chick. Never
move quickly to sex or direct stimulation. Everything moves from
the lightest of touches to stronger touch, from the least sexual
points to the most sexual points. Start doing less-sexual stuff like
kissing. Very gradually move to more sexual stuff kissing neck and
touching nipples. Just brush nipples initially. Touch her everywhere.
Watch closely how she reacts to everything you do, and continue
with things she likes, avoid things she doesn't (obvious eh!).
Touch her everywhere except tits and pussy at first. Neck, underarms,
and feet are good spots, especially the neck. Look into her eyes
a lot, drink in her scent, tell her she smells wonderful. When you
do get around to removing her top, remove yours. Same with pants,
underwear, etc. When you finally enter her, go in slow, it can be painful
for them if you go in too quick. She must be wet. Build up
tempo slowly. If you are gonna cum too quick, slow down or stop, it's
ok, kiss her some more and get your mind off it. If you do lose it
too quick, don't apologize. It helps to be good at eatting pussy.
I can post about that too if you'd like :)
Xile
No, why would you ? I mean you're not "techincally" a virgin, so why
would you feel the pressure to mention it ? Just try to relax and have
fun, maybe she won't be able to tell :). Or maybe she will but won't
mind it. I mean i assume you know what goes where (or if not, look it
up :) )
If it comes up now or later, don't lie about it, but don't just offer
the info like that. It will look like you're obsessing about it, and
maybe put some pressure on her...
I'm in pretty much in the same situation (not "technically" a virgin
anymore, but still just as clueless), but if by absurd i'll ever
manage to get a girlfriend i'm sure going to take advantage of that
technicality to at least try to act like i know what i'm doing ;)
Ceazer XII
wrong with you. We live in a superficial society, remember that.
allen
aren't? Also, I wouldn't tell her that you lost it to an escort.
I'm not sure about many things when it comes to relationships with women but
I'm pretty sure about those two.
"Phil" <ph...@myaddress.com> wrote in message
news:c7nr8s$nqi$1...@ucsnew1.ncl.ac.uk...
Dakota Monroe
No. Don't tell her. If it does come up say it was against your beliefs
to have casual sex outside of a long term relationship and she's the
first person you've met that you would even consider having a long
term relationship with.
It matters. I know some people will say it don't and maybe you'll be
lucky and it dosen't matter to this girl but look at it this way.
Theres a reason so many guys are hesitant to admit to women that they
are virgins. I mean this is not just something they pulled out the
blue. Lots of time women expect the guy to be more experienced and
look negatively on male virgins past a certain age. Heck even teen
guys can get the boot if the girl thinks he "dosen't know what he's
doing" much less a guy in his twenties or thirties.
I've always found the contrast interesting. How when....
guys look at a woman
She has lots of experience = negative
She has litte or no experience = positive
while when...
women look at men
He has lots of experience = positive
He has little or no experience = negative.
Of course you could make this a moot point. I wonder if you hired one
of those escorts again and explained the situation if they would give
you some adult education?
Lumushahs
> I've ended
>up with a girlfriend, great!
<misc stuff snipped>
> I'm pretty sure that the next
>time I see her we are going to end up sleeping together.
I don't have any advice for your situation, but I'd like to turn the table and
ask you for some advice.
How did you know that you will sleep with this girl? What did you say or do to
get the girl to sleep with you?
Kelly
wrote:
Becuase women dont like men who cant get laid.
Pumpkinhead
> No. Don't tell her. If it does come up say it was against your beliefs
> to have casual sex outside of a long term relationship and she's the
> first person you've met that you would even consider having a long
> term relationship with.
>
> It matters. I know some people will say it don't and maybe you'll be
> lucky and it dosen't matter to this girl but look at it this way.
> Theres a reason so many guys are hesitant to admit to women that they
> are virgins. I mean this is not just something they pulled out the
> blue. Lots of time women expect the guy to be more experienced and
> look negatively on male virgins past a certain age. Heck even teen
> guys can get the boot if the girl thinks he "dosen't know what he's
> doing" much less a guy in his twenties or thirties.
He should tell her about his lack of experience. If she doesn't like it,
then she's not worth being with anyway. It's a nice little way of testing
her. The result of the test is good, whatever it is.
> I've always found the contrast interesting. How when....
>
> guys look at a woman
> She has lots of experience = negative
> She has litte or no experience = positive
This is true with me. It makes sense as well. A woman who is less
experienced is less likely to have sexually transmitted diseases.
> while when...
>
> women look at men
> He has lots of experience = positive
> He has little or no experience = negative.
I've heard women say that a man can have too much experience but also that a
man should have some experience. I've heard women say that "6 or 7 is
nice". i.e. any man they have sex with should have had about 6 or 7 sexual
partners so far.
Pumpkinhead
> >So he's not a man-whore, why is that bad?
> >
> Becuase women dont like men who cant get laid.
I don't like women who don't like men who "can't get laid".
Darkfalz
Since you're already with her, it should be okay.
Remember that a girl who has already decided she'd never date you the moment
she saw you is always looking for anything she can use to reject you in the
future to avoid saying it's your looks. If a girl is already interested in
you, she shouldn't have a problem with it (unless she assumes you're
sexually inadequate, have a small penis or whatever).
What you should do is say you've only had one partner, but don't tell her it
was an escort.
Phil
"Lumushahs" <lumu...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20040511002133...@mb-m12.aol.com...
> From: "Phil" ph...@myaddress.com
>
> I don't have any advice for your situation, but I'd like to turn the table
and
> ask you for some advice.
>
> How did you know that you will sleep with this girl? What did you say or
do to
> get the girl to sleep with you?
I'd love to offer some advice but I'm afraid I have none! She bascially
initiated everything, she asked me out, she held my hand first, she kissed
me first and she's the one that's asked me to stay over at her place at the
weekend. That's not to say that she's a dominat person or anything, we get
on well.
That's bascially how I ended up going out with her, if it had been left up
to me I'd probably said a nervous hello and just left it at that!
Pissed Off
> I'm 28 years old and for a reason which I can't quite figure out
> I've ended up with a girlfriend, great!
She's either using you for something, or setting you up to be cruelly
dumped and then laughed at as some sick form of entertainment.
> However in my 28 years I've had exactly one sexual experience, and
> that was with an escort and it was over rather quick! I'm pretty
> sure that the next time I see her we are going to end up sleeping
> together. My problem is that it's going to be totally obvious to
> her that I haven't got a clue what I'm doing! I'm not technically a
> virgin but I might as well be!
If not that, she'll laugh at your penis size, unshapely body, etc.
There's always something for them to laugh at.
> Do I explain to her my lack of experience beforehand or just not say
> anything about it.. If I say something she's going to wonder what
> the hell is wrong with me that she's only the second girl I've been
> with, but otherwise how do I explain my lack of 'knowledge'?
If you tell her you're inexperienced, she will dump you on the spot as
you are a "loser"; if you don't tell her, she will dump you
immediately after the first time you fuck as you are bad in bed.
Either way you will be dumped, humiliated, and crushed. I would
suggest that you don't tell her so that you can at least get a piece
of ass out of the deal.
Real Genius
Don't tell her!
She has already made all the first moves - it's not unthinkable that she
be just as aggressive in the bedroom. Just sit back and enjoy the ride
:-)
Solitary Soul
wrote:
>
>> No. Don't tell her. If it does come up say it was against your beliefs
>> to have casual sex outside of a long term relationship and she's the
>> first person you've met that you would even consider having a long
>> term relationship with.
>>
>> It matters. I know some people will say it don't and maybe you'll be
>> lucky and it dosen't matter to this girl but look at it this way.
>> Theres a reason so many guys are hesitant to admit to women that they
>> are virgins. I mean this is not just something they pulled out the
>> blue. Lots of time women expect the guy to be more experienced and
>> look negatively on male virgins past a certain age. Heck even teen
>> guys can get the boot if the girl thinks he "dosen't know what he's
>> doing" much less a guy in his twenties or thirties.
>
>He should tell her about his lack of experience. If she doesn't like it,
>then she's not worth being with anyway. It's a nice little way of testing
>her. The result of the test is good, whatever it is.
I vote with Pun'kin on this one - tell her.
If she has a problem with it, she's a bytch - and not worth it.
>> I've always found the contrast interesting. How when....
>>
>> guys look at a woman
>> She has lots of experience = negative
>> She has litte or no experience = positive
>
>This is true with me. It makes sense as well. A woman who is less
>experienced is less likely to have sexually transmitted diseases.
>
>> while when...
>>
>> women look at men
>> He has lots of experience = positive
>> He has little or no experience = negative.
>
>I've heard women say that a man can have too much experience but also that a
>man should have some experience. I've heard women say that "6 or 7 is
>nice". i.e. any man they have sex with should have had about 6 or 7 sexual
>partners so far.
>
Solitary Soul -> http://users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Everyone has SOME sort of a defect - nobody's perfect.
The trick is to understand the nature of your own defects,
and to be able to understand the nature of other people's defects,
and how best to deal with them.
- Solitary Soul
Straitye
You don't explain it. There isn't much to "know" about sex anyway,
and it comes naturally if you're not nervous. And why don't you just
say that if you are worried? Say that it's your first time with her,
and that you tend to be nervous the first time you're with a new girl.
If she likes you, she won't hold that against you. But I would avoid
telling her that you're a non-technical virgin.
Enjoy yourself.
Straitye
Michaela
> "Phil" wrote
>> Do I explain to her my lack of experience beforehand or just not say
>> anything about it.. If I say something she's going to wonder what
>> the hell is wrong with me that she's only the second girl I've been
>> with, but otherwise how do I explain my lack of 'knowledge'?
>
> Personally I would act as if you are hiding a secret, make youself
> mysterious. Then when she pleades with you to tell her, you can tell
> her. thats what id do. Probably work better than just telling her I
> think.
>
> Ed
Not a bad idea at all.
It's funny how when you're self conscious and you don't guess
right where things are e.g. her lips, you feel so dumb when you
miss them. But when you're not self-conscious and you miss them
at the most it's something to laugh together about and at the least
no one thinks it's a large deal or even notices.
___________________________
I don't know what the big thing about being honest is all about.
Many if not most people tell little (whether it be by omission or
real ones) lies in the beginning. Afterwards when you feel more
comfy with them you tell them the truth and just explain that you
wanted it to be perfect and you didn't want to spoil the mood
or you cared too much what they thought (but be careful not to
go too much over the edge of caring what other people think
cos then it can work against you).
- Michaela
Dakota Monroe
> > No. Don't tell her. If it does come up say it was against your beliefs
> > to have casual sex outside of a long term relationship and she's the
> > first person you've met that you would even consider having a long
> > term relationship with.
> >
> > It matters. I know some people will say it don't and maybe you'll be
> > lucky and it dosen't matter to this girl but look at it this way.
> > Theres a reason so many guys are hesitant to admit to women that they
> > are virgins. I mean this is not just something they pulled out the
> > blue. Lots of time women expect the guy to be more experienced and
> > look negatively on male virgins past a certain age. Heck even teen
> > guys can get the boot if the girl thinks he "dosen't know what he's
> > doing" much less a guy in his twenties or thirties.
>
> He should tell her about his lack of experience. If she doesn't like it,
> then she's not worth being with anyway. It's a nice little way of testing
> her. The result of the test is good, whatever it is.
>
> > I've always found the contrast interesting. How when....
> >
> > guys look at a woman
> > She has lots of experience = negative
> > She has litte or no experience = positive
>
> This is true with me. It makes sense as well. A woman who is less
> experienced is less likely to have sexually transmitted diseases.
>
I agree with you. I am petrified of catching things.
Not only that but finding a woman who was, or seemed anyway, less
active meant you didn't have to wonder as much if a child was really
yours. Or at least thats the way it was for 99.999% of man's history
on this planet until recently so I'm sure thats part of the reason
males have grown accustomed to desire inexperienced women for
long-term partners.
Then again I guess there is another reason. The less experienced a
woman is the less aware she would probably be if you are sexually
inadequate. I don't know about that myself. People say that and joke
about it but from what I have read males actually caring if sex was
enjoyable for women is a recent phenominum. I remember seeing in rerun
the old "all in the family" episode where archie says "women aren't
supposed to enjoy it! they're supposed to just lay there and take
it!". Sure by the time that show was on that notion was not held by
many but you probably wouldn't have to go too far back (few centuries
maybe) to a time when that was the common way of thinking so I don't
know if male insecurity is a factor in guys liking inexperienced
women.
As far as women liking experience guys. Well I have my own rather
shaky theory that the human race has not fully adjusted to the concept
of one man and one woman. It "Seems" to me at least that we are even
now still inclined towards the one man - many women model and women
liking experienced guys may just be a small side-effect of that. Apart
from the obvious reasons of course for why an experienced guy is held
in high regards. Reasons like he has proved his desireability (other
women wanted him so he must be worth having) and the power aspects of
it.
I guess women probably could have an interesting take on us. most guys
usually will want to screw anything and as often as possible.
Continually put pressure on girls to put out but then later, with
another girl when we want something serious we're disgusted hearing
about the many partners she may have had regardless of the number we
may have had.
merri
Basically, you can shorten this sentence to "I don't like women".
Phil
"kelly" <ke...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1f3f2a839276ac97...@news.teranews.com...
> On Tue, 11 May 2004 09:35:49 -0400, pulpfi...@webtv.net (Real
> Genius) wrote:
>
> Ride that bitch like there is no tommorow and then dont call her back
> for anything !!
I was kind of hoping to 'ride that bitch' on more than one occasion so I
think calling her back might be necessary at some point :-p