I've actually been hanging out with a friend of mine, and his older friend, for the past few weeks. It's like, the first time i've had a real friend in about 8 years.
He's about the only person I know that's unemployed more than I am, as well as his friend. We've been going to this bar about 3 or 4 times, and it's not really my kind of place. I'm not comfortable socializing, the music is loud, and I can't hold alcohol. I threw up at home after drinking about 3 lite beers. But we still go out, my friend thinks we should become regulars.
The worst time to go is when it's packed. You end up standing around. No females even come near us, and I have no idea what to say to any of them to 1) invade their group and 2) start a conversation. So basically we've stood around for an hour or two, just talking amongst ourselves. When it's a slow night, I plan to talk to one of the three hot bar maids and get her number.
There was a totally hot bar maid there tonight. Blonde, tall, thin, beautiful face. My friend is happy just going there to look at her, but it's unfulfilling to me. I get very angry sitting there, knowing that there's no chance in hell I have with this girl. It really bothers me.
Worse yet, I went late to the bar tonight, after my friend called me and said there were a bunch of girls there just getting off work from the hospital. I ask him if he's said anything to them, he says no. So I get there, and a few minutes later they leave. But... not before the guy at the door, walked through the group of girls, and over to my friends and me. He touched me on the shoulder and asked if I "had ID." Then he commented to my friend that I don't "look old enough to be in there." I'm 28. I'm just under 5'6". Why can't people just leave me alone?
So, I just sat there, drank 2 beers, thought to myself how stupid all these people are, how can they be so happy, singing karaoke. Shit, no girls ever bother to sit next to us at the bar. Wherever my friend and I sit, all the action takes place at the other side of the bar. The barmaids hug the guys, they're all talking, on our side it's like the black plague. Then I thought to myself how easy life must be for the cute, blonde bar maid. She can get anything she basically wants. Then I thought about how I can't get hired, how businesses discriminate against me because I don't "look the part."
I just feel completely lost in all phases of life. I have two college degrees hanging in my apartment, I stepped up to the plate and worked hard to accomplish my goals, but nothing has changed. At college I was an outcast amongst the rich, beautiful, young people. At my tempoary jobs, I'm an outcast amongst the minorities and 20 year old girls with two kids, dating thugs. At the bar I'm outcasted amongst... everyone else. I'm still mentally out of it. I still feel ignored and disrespected. I still want to be tall, handsome, and accepted by society.
The quote of the night had to be by my friend, as I asked him why he didn't talk to any of the girls that came in... he said... "I'm afraid." Me too buddy, me too.
Classic Collector writes: > At the bar I'm outcasted amongst... everyone else. I'm still mentally > out of it. I still feel ignored and disrespected. I still want to be tall, > handsome, and accepted by society.
My assessment is that you have other problems, and you are just using height as a target for your frustrations.
Also, you say you want to be handsome. Being short and ugly is far, far worse than just being short or just being ugly.
> The quote of the night had to be by my friend, as I asked him why he didn't > talk to any of the girls that came in... he said... "I'm afraid." Me too > buddy, me too.
No wonder you don't get anywhere.
Nowhere in your story do you mention actually talking to any girls. How do you expect to go out with women if you never interact with them?
-- Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.
Classic Collector wrote: > I've actually been hanging out with a friend of mine, > and his older friend, for the past few weeks. It's > like, the first time i've had a real friend in about > 8 years.
> He's about the only person I know that's unemployed more > than I am, as well as his friend. We've been going to this > bar about 3 or 4 times, and it's not really my kind of > place. I'm not comfortable socializing, the music is > loud, and I can't hold alcohol. I threw up at home after > drinking about 3 lite beers. But we still go out, my > friend thinks we should become regulars.
> The worst time to go is when it's packed. You end up > standing around. No females even come near us, and I > have no idea what to say to any of them to 1) invade > their group and 2) start a conversation. So basically > we've stood around for an hour or two, just talking > amongst ourselves. When it's a slow night, I plan to > talk to one of the three hot bar maids and get her number.
> There was a totally hot bar maid there tonight. Blonde, > tall, thin, beautiful face. My friend is happy just going > there to look at her, but it's unfulfilling to me. I get > very angry sitting there, knowing that there's no chance > in hell I have with this girl. It really bothers me.
> Worse yet, I went late to the bar tonight, after my > friend called me and said there were a bunch of girls > there just getting off work from the hospital. I ask > him if he's said anything to them, he says no. So I get > there, and a few minutes later they leave. But... not > before the guy at the door, walked through the group > of girls, and over to my friends and me. He touched > me on the shoulder and asked if I "had ID." Then he > commented to my friend that I don't "look old enough > to be in there." I'm 28. I'm just under 5'6". Why can't > people just leave me alone?
> So, I just sat there, drank 2 beers, thought to myself > how stupid all these people are, how can they be so happy, > singing karaoke. Shit, no girls ever bother to sit next > to us at the bar. Wherever my friend and I sit, all the > action takes place at the other side of the bar. The > barmaids hug the guys, they're all talking, on our side > it's like the black plague. Then I thought to myself how > easy life must be for the cute, blonde bar maid. She can > get anything she basically wants. Then I thought about > how I can't get hired, how businesses discriminate > against me because I don't "look the part."
> I just feel completely lost in all phases of life. I have > two college degrees hanging in my apartment, I stepped up > to the plate and worked hard to accomplish my goals, but > nothing has changed. At college I was an outcast amongst > the rich, beautiful, young people. At my tempoary jobs, > I'm an outcast amongst the minorities and 20 year old > girls with two kids, dating thugs. At the bar I'm outcasted > amongst... everyone else. I'm still mentally out of it. > I still feel ignored and disrespected. I still want to be > tall, handsome, and accepted by society.
> The quote of the night had to be by my friend, as I asked > him why he didn't talk to any of the girls that came > in... he said... "I'm afraid." Me too buddy, me too.
Didn't they check your ID at the door when you came in? I haven't been to a club in about 15 years, but between 1983 and 1990 I went to dance clubs about 60-90 times in about 15 cities in 4 different states, and I don't recall a single instance when I didn't have to show a picture ID to get in.
However, looking too young was a constant problem for me, since during this period people were always thinking I was still in high school, despite the fact that I was in my mid and upper 20's. I've posted a lot about the problems a guy faces who looks really young (well, most of what I've posted were problems _I_ faced, although I saw plenty of evidence that other guys in this situation faced the same problems), and I collected much of it together in this post:
As for you not knowing how to make contact with girls in these places, if it helps, I was probably a lot worse off than you were. To begin with, I don't drink at all. I've never even so much as had a sip of an alcoholic beverage in my life. Also, I almost always went by myself because none of the guys I knew well were even up for going out to clubs, being even more sheltered and socially shy about these things than I was. I described in detail a typical club experience for me in this post:
Finally, you mentioned about wanting to ask out one of the bar maids. Isn't this like trying to climb Mt. Everest (asking her out) compared to climbing a few flights of stairs (asking out other girls in there)? From everything I've heard and read, these are the most difficult types to get together with. They're being hit on by every Tom, Dick, and Harry all night long, every night they work. Even if otherwise you'd think you have a chance with one of them (such as if you're fairly attractive and she's not particularly attractive), this would be the worst place to hit on her in my opinion. Personally, I've never come close to asking out, or even thinking of asking out, a girl who works at a bar. I was so far removed from the flirty social atmosphere that they're used to that we may as well have been different species. Also, I rarely came into contact with them (I don't drink, although I did order a soft drink sometimes), they never seemed like the type who would go for a book'ish nerdy type, and frankly, I just wasn't all that attracted to anything about the drinking, smoking, and partying lifestyle they often seemed immersed in.
Of course, you could say the same thing about most of the girls in these clubs, so the obvious question was why I went to them at all. I went because I didn't know what else to do. I was pretty much trying every method I knew of to meet girls, and this was simply one of the things I tried. If I'd been able to find any girls who would go out with me at bookstores, libraries, tennis courts, jogging trails, college classes, grocery stores, etc., I doubt I would have ever stepped into a dance club.
Virgo Cluster
. "Stupid Government and Bureaucracy in the U.S.A. .. .. The U.S. government -- and all other official and .. quasi-official bureaucracies -- is the source of much .. material on the stupid side of things. Perhaps this .. surprises you. Perhaps you think, as a red-blooded .. patriot, that it is impossible for the government .. (whether federal, state, or municipal) to do anything .. stupid ... and for our elected or appointed officials .. to do anything stupid. (Perhaps you also haven't been .. reading the papers, watching television news, or keeping .. up with current events. But that is none of our business.) .. .. JIM MCGREEVY: THE PEOPLE'S GOVERNOR .. .. Our nomination for "The People's Governor": governor of .. New Jersey Jim McGreevey, for the following meritorious .. actions: .. .. During the same budget crisis, hired at $110,000 per .. year Golan Cipil, a reporter and poet whose chief .. qualification was that he was an Israeli naval reservist, .. as the director of the state's newly created security .. agency, despite the fact that ex-FBI head Louis Freeh .. offered to do the job for free. After a public outcry, .. replaced Cipil -- he now put him in as a "policy analyst" .. -- at $110,000 a year, for doing essentially nothing." .. << Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, "Unusually Stupid .. Americans: A Compendium of All-American Stupidity", .. Villard Books, 2003, pp. 33 & 37 >>
> The quote of the night had to be by my friend, as I asked him why he didn't > talk to any of the girls that came in... he said... "I'm afraid." Me too > buddy, me too.
You know, Classic or should I call you "suicide daily", or "no one", or etc...etc...etc....
Sometimes I don't think you really exist. Your write like a stereotype, or a loser on a comedy sitcom. Sometimes, I think you are yanking our chains. The last lines at the end of your post always make me feel this.
"Me too, buddy, me too." Give me a break. Then, last night you ended a post with somehting like "8 weeks untill my lease is up"....
This is the kind of prose that I'd expect from a female graduate student (English, or maybe psychology) who is doing a paper on misery. I'm starting to think that you are someone PRETENDING to be some guy who has a lousy life and talks to others about "his" problems. Every post says something about how you "want to be taller" and "if I were only handsome", and "cute blonde girls must have a great life". Sorry bud. Most guys don't think like that....like I said, I think you might be a female writing as this male guy for (1) a laugh or (2) a project or (3) simple curiosity...
Everything that happens to me I write about on here, and it's all correct from my point of view.
My lease was up, and I still hadn't found work, so I extended my lease for 2 months at an additional $25 a month.
I admit there is great tragedy and comedy to my life, experiences, and posts. I'm definitely severely depressed, with a warped view of reality. But still, the things that I see and experience are not common to only me. This group would not exist if it was *all* in my mind.
I truly wish I was pretending, but I am not. How I write, is truly how I think. I wish I was tall. I wish I was handsome. I can't get a woman to go on a date with me to save my life. Up until a few weeks ago, I hadn't hung out with a friend outside of work in years.
"Geoffrey Arnold" <geoffreyarnold1...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> You know, Classic or should I call you "suicide daily", or "no one", or > etc...etc...etc....
> Sometimes I don't think you really exist. Your write like a > stereotype, or a loser on a comedy sitcom. Sometimes, I think you are > yanking our chains. The last lines at the end of your post always make > me feel this.
> "Me too, buddy, me too." Give me a break. Then, last night you ended > a post with somehting like "8 weeks untill my lease is up"....
> This is the kind of prose that I'd expect from a female graduate > student (English, or maybe psychology) who is doing a paper on misery. > I'm starting to think that you are someone PRETENDING to be some guy > who has a lousy life and talks to others about "his" problems. Every > post says something about how you "want to be taller" and "if I were > only handsome", and "cute blonde girls must have a great life". Sorry > bud. Most guys don't think like that....like I said, I think you might > be a female writing as this male guy for (1) a laugh or (2) a project > or (3) simple curiosity...
