Emily <emsy_s
...@nospam.yahoo.com> wrote...
> Hi all. I am really thinking about cutting tonight. I'm
> mostly debating if I can get away with it. Make some cuts
> that will heal before it will look too odd when I really
> can't justify long sleeves. I doubt it, but I still want
> to. I am just so upset over my job. I really don't want to
> go to work tomorrow, but I know I have to. I know my boss
> has to have a conversation with me about the review, and
> I'm sure it will happen soon. I know he had to go over the
> notes with a bigwig before going over them with me, and the
> bigwig was there on Wednesday. Sigh. I really would rather
> be able to quit before I have this conversation with my
> boss. I know he doesn't want to have it with me anymore
> than I do, but he has to. Sigh. I don't know when the
> conversation will be, but I'm sure soon. I'd rather it not
> be before I see my therapist, but of course it may very
> well be. I work Monday and Tuesday. My boss works then
> too, I think. I know he is at meetings on Wednesday, and
> I'm off. I see my therapist then. So, maybe it won't be
> before then, maybe it will.
> I so want to go cut. I've actually found a job that I would
> love to have. I'm not sure if the place is hiring--they are
> always taking applications for this position, I'm thinking
> high turnover. It is a position working with people with
> disabilities, something I'm good at, but I'm sure people
> get burned out easily at it. I am thinking having fresh
> scars at a job interview would be BAD, so I really can't
> cut if I'm trying to get a new job ASAP. Sigh. I actually
> am also thinking of
> going back to a department store I used to work at. I was
> there before
> I became manager where I am now. They still haven't
> replaced me, and I'm sure they could at least give me a few
> overnights a week if I asked.
> Maybe even get my full time job back. It depends on if
> another job
> works out or not. If another job works out, but doesn't pay
> enough, a few overnights a week would be good to help make
> ends meet. If I can't get full time elsewhere, then it
> would be nice to have full time there--for benefits at
> least. Sigh.
> O.k., I can find other work, I can get through this. But
> right now, cutting would feel so good. I think.
> Emily
Ouch. I'm so sorry your'e going through this. I know you've
done what you can with this job. From what you've said, they
meet them. An incrediby stressful situation.
You'll get through this somehow. It sounds incredibly painful,
but one hour at a time will see you through. I'm pulling for
you.
