I can cut

[lisa in mass.]

I did everything on my safety contract this time, including the
call to the crisis line. I might, I might not. I don't know how
much it'll help or hurt right now. I wish something would.

[diane b]

im my experience not much helps with depression....im strggling with it
to full force for other reasons...im not sure how i can make it this
time....i dont know how some come out on the other side...i just wish u
and i could do the same...life just doesnt seem worth all this misery

[lisa in mass.]

madcha...@webtv.net (diane b) wrote in
news:29684-4E9...@storefull-3253.bay.webtv.net:

I'm depressed, sick, confused, exhausted,... It's going to take
weeks to get over coming off my meds so quickly. Don't know how
I'm going to make it through. Cutting might shut my brain off for
awhile. I don't know.

I feel like Winnie the Pooh, a bear of very little brain. Only the
little that this brain does feel and think is awful.

[diane b]

yes i feel much of the same as you have described and mine is a med
issue as well...one we have talked about in private...but i keep having
set backs...dont know that i can do it and im so alone...ive been told
you cant do this alone and im finally starting to believe it and finding
someone to help me isnt easy either...they dont take the insurance or
have the license but dont use it etc etc...its exhausting trying to find
the motivation to keep calling only to get nowhere...well but my point
is i hear you lisa and i get it to...we are going thru similar but diff
scenarios...good luck to you...what meds they gonna try next? just goes
to show all these f ing meds are addictive because you get sick coming
off them and not good for you either way..just my opinion

[lisa in mass.]

madcha...@webtv.net (diane b) wrote in

news:29683-4E9...@storefull-3253.bay.webtv.net:

I wish I could do without meds. Unfortunately, without them I
spiral down and down until I'm acutely suicidal and hospitalized
for weeks. My next cocktail is a mixture of Cymbalta, Remeron,
and Welbutrin. Horrible to come off, even worse than this, but
their combined action is the closest thing they can get to the
MAOI, which works well when it's not pooping out.

[EMS]

On Oct 19, 9:30 am, "lisa in mass." <l...@operations.com> wrote:
> madchatter...@webtv.net (diane b) wrote innews:29683-4E9...@storefull-3253.bay.webtv.net:

HI Lisa. I'm sorry you are struggling so. When do you get to start
the new cocktail, and how long does it usually take to kick in for
you? I hope you can start soon, and that it takes effect relatively
quickly. New meds for me take at least a month before I feel
anything, sigh. Did you wind up cutting? Did it help? Just wondering
how you are doing. Hope you are hanging in there as best you can.

Emily

[EMS]

HI Diane,

bummer about trying to find help and only reaching dead ends. I ran
into something similar when my care provider fired me several years
ago now. I either didn't live in the right place, or they weren't
taking new patients, or they specifically wouldn't take me etc. etc.
But, I finally found someone to take me, and then got somewehre where
I really started getting the help I need. So, hopefully you will find
someone who can really help you too. And, yes, med changes suck too.
Technically, these meds aren't addicting, because it doesn't (usually)
take more and more of them to get the same therapeutic result.
(although, after long term use, they do tend to poop out, and a larger
dose is required, and then eventually a med change... it just doesn't
happen as quickly as most addicting drugs, like in a matter of weeks
or days). So, just because we feel like crap comming off of them
isn't enough. Actually for a long time, doctor's didn't even
recognize/believe in the 'discontinuation syndrome' as it's now
called. I spent a miserable weekend in a p-ward once b/c they took me
off all my meds cold turkey in the early days of ssri's. This was
when drug companies still had them fooled into thinking nothing bad
happened when going off meds. The nurses and p-doc's on the ward were
not pleased with me (I was puking and feeling awful etc. and crying a
lot), and telling me it was NOT the med's etc. However, the next
person they took off meds, they did so more gradually.... And, now it
is widely recognized that if you quit these meds cold turkey,
especially after taking them for a long time, you will suffer this
"discontinuation syndrome", and that gradually comming off of them is
best. go figure.

I hope for you that you find the right person to help you, and that
you get things sorted out, and that you are able to come out on the
other side of your depression.
I'm still trying to do that too. Come out on the other side, without
going too far and becomming manic. I know it can be done, I just have
to figure out how.

Emily

[lisa in mass.]

EMS <esope...@gmail.com> wrote in
news:84ab9599-1a22-4575...@m5g2000prg.googlegroup
s.com:

> On Oct 19, 9:30 am, "lisa in mass." <l...@operations.com>
> wrote:
>> madchatter...@webtv.net (diane b) wrote

>> innews:29683-4E9E410F-2245@storef

Thanks, Emily. I'll start on the new meds next Tuesday. I don't
remember how long it takes to start helping, probably 3-5 weeks.
I did cut. Unfortunately, my husband started talking to me
through the locked bathroom door about something mundane, so it
didn't end up helping at all. I'm feeling a little better
physically, so not quite so overwhelmed. I told the last crisis
guy I talked to that I can't go in-patient until after Wednesday
because I have an appointment for a hair cut. He laughed and
said that sounded reasonable. For now, it's a day at a time.

[EMS]

On Oct 24, 1:36 pm, "lisa in mass." <l...@operations.com> wrote:
> EMS <esoper1...@gmail.com> wrote innews:84ab9599-1a22-4575...@m5g2000prg.googlegroup

I totally understand the hair-cut appointment. Hopefully you can stay
safe enough until after you are beautiful. But, maybe you do need
some inpatient time. Who knows. But, yes, one day at a time is
definitely the best plan. I'm glad you are starting to feel better
physically, that always helps the emotions too, I find. Hang in there
friend.

Emily

[lisa in mass.]

EMS <esope...@gmail.com> wrote in
news:cbd53379-ee91-4f17...@j20g2000vby.googlegrou
ps.com:

> On Oct 24, 1:36 pm, "lisa in mass." <l...@operations.com>
> wrote:
>> EMS <esoper1...@gmail.com> wrote

>> innews:84ab9599-1a22-4575-be0f-736aeed1a
> 1...@m5g2000prg.googlegroup

They almost put me in last week. I'd been on the phone with the
local crisis people, and was told that I should call the next
day to set up an appointment for an evaluation. The next day I
was more stable and sounded it, so they said I didn't have to
go. I'm a little worried about how I'll do after partial's done.
I think tomorrow's my last day. My therapist is going to see me
twice a week, but that doesn't take the place of 6 hours/day, 3
days/week. Trying not to worry too much about it. What will be,
will be. Practicing radical acceptance every minute.

-lisa