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You know you're a redneck if:
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String Twanger VII
Jun 13, 2006, 7:34:13 AM6/13/06
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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want
it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
Bother@forgedpostsanonymous.unorg Cymbal Man Freq.
Jun 13, 2006, 2:35:42 PM6/13/06
to
LOL! :)
I've been guilty of numbers....
1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 14, 23, 24, 25, 27, and I'm worried about 29.
I've been guilty of numbers....
1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 14, 23, 24, 25, 27, and I'm worried about 29.
"String Twanger VII" <damo...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:8431-448E...@storefull-3235.bay.webtv.net...
Bother@forgedpostsanonymous.unorg Cymbal Man Freq.
Jun 17, 2006, 1:28:48 AM6/17/06
to
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074995/
Ode to Billy Joe (1976)
Directed by Max Baer Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Baer,_Jr.
Writing credits - Herman Raucher
You were 15 years old when this movie came out and you think Max Baer Jr. from
the Beverly Hillbillies (who directed this film), is informing you of why your
summer cottage still has an outhouse (they were in the Sears Catalog from 1895
to 1927).
Miguel Lahunkun
Jun 17, 2006, 7:20:44 AM6/17/06
to
You know you're a redneck if you wear both a belt and suspenders.
You now you're a redneck if you twirl your napkin up your
nostrils.
You know you're a redneck is you have your dog start cleaning up
the dishes.
You now you're a redneck if you twirl your napkin up your
nostrils.
You know you're a redneck is you have your dog start cleaning up
the dishes.
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