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able to speak, of the glory of God's perfections, the wonderfulness of
His grace in Christ, and their own unworthiness, in such a manner as
cannot be perfectly expressed after them. Their sense of their exceeding
littleness and vileness, and their disposition to abase themselves
before God, has appeared to be great in proportion to their light and
joy.
Such persons amongst us as have been thus distinguished with the most
extraordinary discoveries, have commonly nowise appeared with the
assuming, self-conceited, and self-sufficient airs of enthusiasts, but
exceedingly the contrary. They are eminent for a spirit of meekness,
modesty, self-diffidence, and a low opinion of themselves. No persons
appear so sensible of their need of instruction and so eager to receive
it, as some of them; nor so ready to think others better than
themselves. Those that have been considered as converted amongst us,
have generally manifested a longing to lie low and in the dust before
God; withal complaining of their not being able to lie low enough.
They speak much of their sense of excellency in the way of salvation by
free and sovereign grace, through the righteousness of Christ alone; and
how it is with delight that they renounce their own righteousness, and
rejoice in having no account made of it. Many have expressed themselves
to this purpose, that it would lessen the satisfaction they hope for in
heaven to have it by their own righteousness, or in any other way than
as bestowed by free grace, and for Christ's sake alone. They speak much
of the inexpressibleness of what they experience, how their words fail,
so that they cannot declare it. And particularly they speak with
exceeding admiration of the superlative excellency of that pleasure and
delight which they sometimes enjoy; how a little of it is sufficient to
pay them for all the pains and trouble they have gone through in seeking
salvation; and how far it exceeds all earthly pleasures. Some express
much
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apprehensions of divine wrath, and sunk into an abyss, under a sense of
guilt which they were ready to think was beyond the mercy of God. Their
joyful surprise has caused their hearts as it were to leap, so that they
have been ready to break forth into laughter, tears often at the same
time issuing like a flood, and intermingling a loud weeping. Sometimes
they have not been able to forbear crying out with a loud voice,
expressing their great admiration. In some, even the view of the glory
of God's sovereignty, in the exercises of His grace, has surprised the
soul with such sweetness, as to produce the same effects. I remember an
instance of one, who, reading something concerning God's sovereign way
of saving sinners, as being self-moved-having no regard to men's own
righteousness as the motive of His grace, but as magnifying Himself and
abasing man, or to that purpose-felt such a sudden rapture of joy and
delight in the consideration of it: and yet then he suspected himself to
be in a Christless condition, and had been long in great distress for
fear that God would not have mercy on him.
Many continue a long time in a course of gracious exercises and
experiences, and do not think themselves to be converted, but conclude
otherwise; and none knows how long they would continue so, were they not
helped by particular instructions. There are undoubted instances of some
who have live