I finally fell like I know what is wrong with me - OCD

[william....@gmail.com]

Hello,

I have always struggled with attention, stress, a completely
disorganized mind! Obsessive thoughts!! Many of them at once in fact.
I always have a song playing in my head, even when it is at its most
calm. Along with the song, I usually have thoughts of getting rid of
the song. Then there are always "dread" thoughts. which for me include
complete story lines and images of how something horrible will happen
to my family, or thoughts of something horrible I have done, or
something that I did wrong, or whatever really, they just roll on
their own like someone set up a PA in my head and they play any
thoughts they want. I have not been in control of my mind for a long
time.

I also suffer from depression, which I have been aware of. I am a
substance abuser, Im a self medicate-r, isolator, antisocial
misanthrope. But I really love being around people and hanging out, I
just can't take the stress of all the analysis I do on myself of what
I assume others are thinking or saying. It is really F'ed up!!!

Despite all this I have managed a successful career, and a wonderful
family. But inside this disease is tearing me apart - I cannot get any
peace from my OWN MIND!!!

I used to think I had ADD, but now I believe it has always just been
to crowded in my head to pay attention. After describing to one
psychiatrist what went on in my head he suggested low levels of
lithium.

I believe I have OCD. At least the Obsessive part of this disorder. I
almost have no doubt about it after reading up on it. I am now taking
lexapro for it.

Anyway - why I am writing and sorry for the long post.

Does what I am saying jive with you folks ? Those of you our their
with obsessive, intrusive thoughts ? Can you relate ? Looking for
some feed back if you can spare it.

Thanks,
-W

[sirvivor]

Lithium didn't work for me ...but the prozac family in highter doses does.
Good luck

[lisa...@gmail.com]

On Mar 27, 8:33 am, "sirvivor" <heathermichaelk...@nospam.cox.net>
wrote:

> Lithium didn't work for me ...but the prozac family in highter doses does.
> Good luck

I understand what you are talking about. I wake up with a different
song in my head usually every morning. A lot of times I can not make,
what should be, a logical step in my thinking because my head is so
disorganized it never occurs to me. I am always trying to be on track
with this schedule that I make up for myself everyday. I have MANY
intrusive thoughts throughout the day. I wonder many times in a day
what would happen if something dreadful would happen to my family, my
cat, myself, etc. I am beginning to believe that I am a hypochondriac
too becasue I always seem to be obsessing about my health.
I don't know if this helps you, it may scare you....lol. In any case
you are not alone. There are others that have head that is 'too busy'.

[JimSummers]

The song issue is complicated, I've discovered that I can't listen to NEW
music and by "new" I mean that I can't hear a song I haven't already
mentally come to terms with. The other thing is that there are certain
kinds of music I simply can't stand because of how it gets stuck in my
head, particularly anything Motown or that God awful 60's pop band "The
Four Seasons" where the lead singer sings high pitched like a girl.