Getting engaged to an OCD woman
larrys...@hotmail.com
I am about to get engaged to an ODC woman. What I want to know is
basically everything I can do to help and as much information I can get
to understand what I will be looking at down the road with marriage and
kids. Thanks for any help you can offer.
Larry
questions?
Hi Larry,
This all depends on what form of OCD she has - full on, or just Pure-O?
That would help alot, but a rule of thumb is don't engage in her
rituals, whatever they may be. Though you will provide her with
temporary relief and you will be feeling like you are helpful, it will
only cause the OCD to come back stronger, making the rituals even more
excessive.
The OCD Workbook by Bruce M., PH.D. Hyman and Cherry Padrick is good
for people with OCD and their family. It gives great background,
provides exercises for the OCD'er and helps the family to understand
her condition and how to help her live a less obsessive life. Here's a
link to Amazon:
I don't work for the company, I just have this book and have found it
tremendously helpful and so has my BF.
Thanks!
Meloney
tomho...@hotmail.com
tomho...@hotmail.com
Hi Larry,
OCD is a very difficult illness to understand, but very simply it is a
pure anxiety disorder. When the anxiety builds up in us our brains
associate this unexplained emotion to a thought or idea. Eg.
dirty/germs. Our brain then use a ritualised action to eliminate the
thought (wash hands) and the anxiety calms down. The problem is that we
become obsessed with this thought and we continually need to perform
the rituals. The thoughts then trigger more anxiety and the cycle
continues. Eventually the anxiety gets out of control and in turn the
obsessions and rituals become increasingly frequent and complex. They
can be so strong and frequent that they can take over our lives. It is
also a very strange disorder as almost all sufferers know what they are
thinking or doing is stupid but are still compelled to complete the
rituals. It is very frustrating and one can be driven round the bend
emotionally.
My best advise to you is to never help with the rituals. It may help
calm your other half in the short term, but it will strengthen the
obsession and ritual - in turn escalating the problem. Instead attack
the anxiety itself - see past the obsession and know that the heart of
the problem is the chemical imbalance in the brain. Help her find
medications to calm the anxiety itself. Relaxation therapies are an
amazing weapon if used often. Learn the techniques and talk her through
them. Over a period of a few years the anxiety will become manageable
and in turn the rituals will weaken and eventually fade. That's what
happened to me and now I consider myself almost cured.
I hope this helps - it is a very simplified explanation. p.s. finding
the fight medication is a trial and error process, so don't let her
become discouraged if medication is not working. (It can be a very long
search). One medication will help one person but will do nothing for
another. I found a medication not traditionally used for OCD but still
it helped fix me in 2 years.
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