Separation And Divorce Far More Common When The Wife Is The Patient
Tick
Men Leave: Separation And Divorce Far More Common When The Wife Is The
Patient
11 Nov 2009
A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon
after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the
relationship is the patient, according to a study that examined the
role gender played in so-called "partner abandonment." The study also
found that the longer the marriage the more likely it would remain
intact.
The study confirmed earlier research that put the overall divorce or
separation rate among cancer patients at 11.6 percent, similar to the
population as a whole. However, researchers were surprised by the
difference in separation and divorce rates by gender. The rate when
the woman was the patient was 20.8 percent compared to 2.9 percent
when the man was the patient.
"Female gender was the strongest predictor of separation or divorce in
each of the patient groups we studied," said Marc Chamberlain, M.D., a
co-corresponding author and director of the neuro-oncology program at
the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA). Chamberlain is also a
professor of neurology and neurosurgery at the University of
Washington School of Medicine.
The study, "Gender Disparity in the Rate of Partner Abandonment in
Patients with Serious Medical Illness," was published in the Nov. 15
issue of the journal Cancer. The other corresponding author is Michael
Glanz, M.D., of the Huntsman Cancer Institute at the University of
Utah School of Medicine.
Why men leave a sick spouse can be partly explained by their lack of
ability, compared to women, to make more rapid commitments to being
caregivers to a sick partner and women's better ability to assume the
burdens of maintaining a home and family, the study authors said.
Researchers at three medical centers -- the SCCA, Huntsman and
Stanford University School of Medicine -- enrolled a total of 515
patients in 2001 and 2002 and followed them until February 2006. The
men and women were in three diagnostic groups: those with a malignant
primary brain tumor (214 patients), those with a solid tumor with no
central nervous system involvement (193 patients) and those with
multiple sclerosis (108 patients). Almost half of the patients were
women.
Chamberlain said the study was initiated because doctors noticed that
in their neuro-oncology practices, divorce occurred almost exclusively
when the wife was the patient. The researchers enrolled groups of
patients with other cancers and with multiple sclerosis to separate
the impact of oncologic versus neurological disease. The results
showed a stronger gender disparity for divorce when the wife was the
patient in the general oncology and multiple sclerosis groups (93
percent and 96 percent respectively, compared to 78 percent for the
primary brain tumor group).
The study also found correlations between age and length of marriage
and the likelihood of divorce or separation. The older the woman was
the more likely her partnership would end. However, longer marriages
remained more stable.
Researchers also measured some health and quality of life outcomes
among the patients who separated or divorced. They found that patients
used more antidepressants, participated less in clinical trials, had
more frequent hospitalizations, were less likely to complete radiation
therapy and more likely not to die at home, according to the study.
"We believe that our findings apply generally to patients with life-
altering medical illness," the authors wrote. "We recommend that
medical providers be especially sensitive to early suggestions of
marital discord in couples affected by the occurrence of a serious
medical illness, especially when the woman is the affected spouse and
it occurs early in the marriage. Early identification and psychosocial
intervention might reduce the frequency of divorce and separation, and
in turn improve quality of life and quality of care."
Source
Seattle Cancer Care Alliance
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Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/170507.php
Susan Esterby
men usually come in with their spouse, mother, daughter, granddaughter
and/or nieces. Sick women arrive with their mother, daughter,
granddaughter, niece, or a paid caregiver.
My mom was lucky. My dad took care of her until he was physically
unable to do so. When she went into a convalescent hospital he visited
her almost every day, even though he is very ill and lives in another
town. Most of the paients there were women. Most of the visitors there
were women.
Most in-home support caregivers are women. Most institutional
caregivers are women, although there were a few minority men at the
place where my mom died.
If you are a well know media talking head and you take care of your wife
until she dies, you can get a best-selling book out of it.
Susan E.
BigArtie
"Tick" <olt...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:6b184259-c87d-4d6d...@j4g2000yqe.googlegroups.com...
could this be because men are more stoic and women complain more?
evilzona
>
> > Article URL:http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/170507.php
>
> could this be because men are more stoic and women complain more?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
boy I dont know artie, some of the men(?) around here do quite a bit
of bitching themselves!
them...@webtv.net
could this be because men are more stoic and women complain more?
---
or could it be that men are more domestically challenged and when the
care-giver/cook/laundress/etc. gets sick it's time to look for a new
maid?
Susan Esterby
I think you hit the nail on the head with that post.
And if it was a long-term relationship, and he can't find a new "maid"
right away, he's more likely to curl up and die within a few months
after losing his wife.
There's a lot more widows than widowers out there.
Susan
BigArtie
<them...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:25085-4B1...@bsg-storefull-3112.bay.webtv.net...
i do pretty well taking care of myself
cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, the whole bit
when my girlfriend had foot surgery she had to stay off her feet for
four weeks, i took care of all her needs, including bathing
she too is stoic and doesn't complain, but i can think of a couple of
ex-wives and a few ex-girlfriends with their nagging and bitching that
would have driven me mad
i don't want a maid as a partner
them...@webtv.net
i do pretty well taking care of myself
cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, the whole bit when my girlfriend
had foot surgery she had to stay off her feet for four weeks, i took
care of all her needs, including bathing she too is stoic and doesn't
complain, but i can think of a couple of ex-wives and a few
ex-girlfriends with their nagging and bitching that would have driven me
mad
i don't want a maid as a partner
---
Hmm. Being driven mad is so antithetical to stoicism you're having your
cake and eating it too. Then again, having/eating cake is ALSO not gonna
be on the stoic's to-do list! It's a puzzle.
magpie