newbie-how to deal w/it?
ensoul
year and four months (but whose counting) do have Moe & Rudy, my cats
my youngest daughter lives in town, along w/her hubby and my
grandson...I get him overnight on & off..but much I love him, have to
be strong with Julius he's severaly ADD
I also have chronic pain and I'm on SSI....the loss of Rick income put
me into poverty, though if meant him being back poverty I could
handle..also have clincal depression even before my love died
I have a couple of friends but they all major problems in their lifes;
one has husband w/cancer, the other has a life threatning illness, and
the last just had her phone shut & is facing eviction
I try to help them all and I am caregiver to my Mom, she doesn't live
with me though and we don't get along well
not looking for pity maybe some suggestions
I am so damned lonely
would apprecaite hearing from you all on how you deal with it
ensoul
Eleonore Beaudoin
Hi,
Reading you, I think you might be at the right ^lace and have done the
right thing in posting here.
Seems like the environment you are in is one of heavy things, where light
conversation and thoughts to help you better get through your days might
come in handy...
Hope you find distraction and a way to recharge the batteries in posting
here and finding people to exchange with on lighter things, to brigten
your days and help you not only cope with life, but hopefully, find a ray
of sun to make it feel worth living, too!
Be well and have a great brand new week of life!
Chloe
Salamander
I'm trying to think of the things my mother has done for herself after
the unexpected death of my father.
It sounds like you have very little time for yourself. I guess my
suggestion would be to start by trying to set aside a little corner of
your day and make it your own.
What are your interests? If you have any hobby-like things that you do,
I'd find out perhaps if there is a local group for it. These sorts of
things don't have to cost a fortune (unless you have expensive tastes!).
I'd also strongly consider some sort of community therapy... have you
looked to see if there are any widow support groups? My mother didn't
exactly go to a therapy group but she had a social circle of ladies (not
the same as friends) who helped her a lot because some of them had lost
a partner and were able to help her so much.
As for the clinical depression, well I guess that shouldn't be too
surprising that you're feeling that way between the passing of your
husband, your health and family/friend issues (I'd almost be more
worried if you weren't). I'm big on recommending that this sort of thing
is handled by professionals (it's a step I took a long time ago and I
never looked back) but I'm guessing you're in the US? Therefore
professional help might be too costly so I can certainly point you in
the direction of some self-help material if you're interested.
Regards,
Sal
(remove the dashes and SPAM if you need to contact me)
ensoul
> Hi,
>
> Reading you, I think you might be at the right ^lace and have done the
> right thing in posting here.
> Seems like the environment you are in is one of heavy things, where light
> conversation and thoughts to help you better get through your days might
> come in handy...
>
> Hope you find distraction and a way to recharge the batteries in posting
> here and finding people to exchange with on lighter things, to brigten
> your days and help you not only cope with life, but hopefully, find a ray
> of sun to make it feel worth living, too!
>
> Be well and have a great brand new week of life!
>
>
Chloe,
many thanks for the great welcome and the very nice reply
lynn/ensoul
ensoul
>
> Hi ensoul,
>
> I'm trying to think of the things my mother has done for herself after
> the unexpected death of my father.
>
> It sounds like you have very little time for yourself. I guess my
> suggestion would be to start by trying to set aside a little corner of
> your day and make it your own.
>
> What are your interests? If you have any hobby-like things that you do,
> I'd find out perhaps if there is a local group for it. These sorts of
> things don't have to cost a fortune (unless you have expensive tastes!).
> I'd also strongly consider some sort of community therapy... have you
> looked to see if there are any widow support groups? My mother didn't
> exactly go to a therapy group but she had a social circle of ladies (not
> the same as friends) who helped her a lot because some of them had lost
> a partner and were able to help her so much.
>
> As for the clinical depression, well I guess that shouldn't be too
> surprising that you're feeling that way between the passing of your
> husband, your health and family/friend issues (I'd almost be more
> worried if you weren't). I'm big on recommending that this sort of thing
> is handled by professionals (it's a step I took a long time ago and I
> never looked back) but I'm guessing you're in the US? Therefore
> professional help might be too costly so I can certainly point you in
> the direction of some self-help material if you're interested.
>
> Regards,
> Sal
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
ensoul
>
> Hi ensoul,
>
> I'm trying to think of the things my mother has done for herself after
> the unexpected death of my father.
>
> It sounds like you have very little time for yourself. I guess my
> suggestion would be to start by trying to set aside a little corner of
> your day and make it your own.
>
> What are your interests? If you have any hobby-like things that you do,
> I'd find out perhaps if there is a local group for it. These sorts of
> things don't have to cost a fortune (unless you have expensive tastes!).
> I'd also strongly consider some sort of community therapy... have you
> looked to see if there are any widow support groups? My mother didn't
> exactly go to a therapy group but she had a social circle of ladies (not
> the same as friends) who helped her a lot because some of them had lost
> a partner and were able to help her so much.
>
> As for the clinical depression, well I guess that shouldn't be too
> surprising that you're feeling that way between the passing of your
> husband, your health and family/friend issues (I'd almost be more
> worried if you weren't). I'm big on recommending that this sort of thing
> is handled by professionals (it's a step I took a long time ago and I
> never looked back) but I'm guessing you're in the US? Therefore
> professional help might be too costly so I can certainly point you in
> the direction of some self-help material if you're interested.
>
> Regards,
> Sal
>
Thank you Sal and yes I'm in the US...I did go to a grief support
group for awhile..it was lead by a Priest..when I started going I told
him I wasn't a Christian but did have my own faith that I respected
all faiths and asked the same for me..he said it wouldn't be a
problem...it turned out to be huge one all the others in group openly
discussed their faiths and all were Christian...when I brought up mine
part of which is a belief in reincarnation I was openly laughed
at...the priest had changed his mind I guess and told me that such a
belief was false
I live in very rural area the nearest large city is 70 miles away
(sorry I don't know metric) the town has a population of 9,000
as for professional help I do see a therpist....I've had clinical
depression for many many years (there's family history of it too)
my interests, phew...for so long I've been a caregiver...I love
contemporary poetry & ancient haiku write poetry and short stories so
do a million other people...I'm a gourmet cook been trained in the
field even won some awards in it...why cook for one person though
you have so many great ideas, thank you
and if you don't see posts from me it's because I'm having computer
problems, can't afford the repairs
ensoul
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up
something else.
~Lily Tomlin
Salamander
Hi ensoul,
That's a shame to hear about your experience with your local grief
support and the priest. Have you heard about the Unitarian Universalist
Church? It might be worth finding out if there is a Church near to you
-- you can go to their main website (http://www.uua.org/) and search by
location. They cater to all theism and non-theism (yes, even some
atheists attend UU Churches), including personal spirituality. For the
record, I am not a UU member but I've heard a number of very positive
anecdotes about them.
I know how cooking for one seems almost a wasted effort, it is so much
easier just to knock together a toasted sandwich or something right? Not
much I can really offer there unfortunately. The enjoyment of poetry
might be a bit easier. Have you checked out any poetry-related
newsgroups? You may also be able to find some web forums as well. I
personally have absolutely no talent when it comes to poetry (I can
write prose but poetry? No way) but I have a few online acquaintances
who are authors, I'll see if perhaps they can suggest a few favourite
online hangouts.
Now I realise that this was only mentioned as an aside but you did write
about how your grandson has ADD. How is he being treated for it (if you
don't mind me sticking my nose where it doesn't belong)? There are some
very good alternatives to medicinal drugs that might have some benefit
(and I'm not talking about weird natural remedies... there are methods
of control via diet, that's how we control my son's ADD issue).
Jos
"ensoul" <Lens...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1193104342.7...@q3g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
There you have it. I am a believer myself only i believe in what i read
myself and can find a lot of life spirit in that.
Don't just believe in reincarnation. as it's beyond This Life and can you
look any further than the point you die?
Probably not and all the 'Therapists' or 'Healers' can't make you feel any
better also.
there's a songtext that says : 'The answers are always within" they mean
within yourself.
so, again, learn to know yourself and get rid off all external influences as
far as your personal will is concerned.
Try to let go of the higher matter for a while and see what it brings you.
Sincerely, Jos, NL, Schizofrenic but not bothered
ensoul
> "ensoul" <Lensou...@aol.com> wrote in message
>
> news:1193104342.7...@q3g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >> Hi ensoul,
>
thank you both Sal & Jos ...your kindness is much appreciated...I
know there's a
Salamander
> thank you both Sal & Jos ...your kindness is much appreciated...I
> know there's a
>
Hi ensoul,
Are you still around? I hope things have been going okay for you and
that the business with the jury duty got sorted out completely.