How to take care of yourself
Daniel
gave to alt.support.grief 11/06/2002.
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
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1.) Eat. You may not be able to taste it, but the tissues do need
nutrients. Think simple. Think comfort.
2.) Try to lie down for at least six hours a day. Do it in a series
of cat-naps if you want. You may not be able to sleep. When your
body needs sleep, your body will sleep. But being horizontal helps
even if you're not sleeping. Try not to *try* too hard to sleep.
3.) Breathe all the way out occasionally. Breathe all the way in
occasionally too.
4.) Relax you jaw muscles. Lower your shoulders. Lift your eyes to
the horizon. Un-clench your hands and toes. If you can do those
things, much of the rest of you might relax too.
5.) Drink a little water or juice sometimes even if you aren't eating.
Stress (and crying!) is dehydrating. And being dehydrated adds to the
stress.
6.) If you normally bathe, consider taking a shower instead; if you
normally shower, consider taking a bath. Weird, but outlook-changing.
Likewise, if you always put on your left shoe first, do the right one
first today. Try it.
7.) Comfort-dress. Put on your most comfortable clothes, even if the
colors don't match. Your most comfortable condition of dress (or
undress).
8.) Try a new brand of . . . tea, coffee, breakfast cereal,
after-shave, soap, hair gel, whatever.
9.) Make some time that is *you* time. Then, practice *not* feeling
guilty about stealing that hour from your many other responsibilities.
Here are some ideas: 1.) Sometimes I go to the library after work and
read the funny parts in a couple of the periodicals I don't subscribe
to (I mean, why *subscribe* if all I read are one column and the
cartoons?). 2.) Go somewhere comfortable and anonymous (Library, park
bench, a bench at the mall...) and either pull out your phone and
pretend to talk to someone (like those we have lost?) or pull out a
book or magazine and pretend to read. Nobody will bother you!
10.) I hate to say it, but exercise does help. Even if it is just
flexing your ankles while lying on your back, it can get the lymph
pumping. (I have recently discovered that some park benches are high
enough to kick my feet like a little child -- gentle exercise and "it
takes me back . . .") Gentle walks . . . on up to long aerobic
workouts . . . it's all okay. Don't get down on yourself for not
doing *more*.
11.) Find a piece of nature you can enjoy, even if for just a few
minutes: an all-day hike in the pristine mountains; an afternoon
near the surf-sprayed tide pool rocks; a detour into and then out of
the florist's shop (the air is so great in there!); a peek into the
pet store just to watch the baby whatevers crawl over each other.
12.) Write. Some write in a journal. I sometimes write "letters" to
those whom I have lost. Mostly I guess my grief writing is in the
form of posts to alt.support.grief.
13.) Let me know if you have other ideas that work for you!
[*Notice*: the above recommendations are based on personal
experience. I am not any of the following: doctor, lawyer,
psychologist, counselor, traveling salesman, or multilevel marketer.
Permission is granted (Yes! Do! That's what it's for!) to use all or
part of this document to help anyone dealing with grief.]
--
Daniel ( deltae...@usa.net )
MelMenzies
Thank you Daniel. I've begun a six week series on Bereavement on my
website, and shall be using this at some point. It's so helpful. I'd
like to use the poem, too, You Can't Win. So many folk have come to
my website in search of my own poem Death Is But A Door. I want to be
able to help where I can. Mel - Author of A Painful Post Mortem
Daniel
Thanks for the good word. It's nice to think these hard-won lessons
may help people one-third of the way around the planet! (I'm near San
Francisco, California.) May all your efforts be blessed.
Peace,
MelMenzies
Hi Daniel,
The second part of your list on how to take care of yourself has gone
up on my blog today. (Like you I'm not sure whether I've posted a
blog, or simply blogged - but whatever!). I'm sure the list will help
people. Love to everyone. Mel