Holiday Help - Tips for Handling the holidays
Daniel
beginning of one of the most stressful times of the year for those in
grief. I am reaching back into my archives for some things that have
helped me over my years in alt.support.grief.
ASG's own beloved Daisy posted this on Tuesday November 13, 2001.
:
: TIPS FOR HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS
:
:
: 1. DECIDE WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE COMFORTABLY AND LET FAMILY
: AND FRIENDS KNOW.
:
: Can I handlle the responsibility of the family dinner, etc. or shall I
: ask someone else to do it?
:
: Do I want to talk about my loved one or not?
:
: Shall I stay here for the holidays or go to a completely different
: environment?
:
:
: 2. MAKE SOME CHANGES IF THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE FOR YOU.
:
: Open presents Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning. Vary the
: timing of Channukah gift giving.
:
: Have dinner at a different time or place
:
: Let the children take over decorating the house, the tree, baking
: and food preparation, etc.
:
: 3. RE-EXAMINE YOUR PRIORITIES: GREETING CARDS, HOLIDAY BAKING,
: DECORATING, PUTTING UP A TREE, FAMILY DINNER, ETC.
:
: Do I really enjoy doing this?
:
: Is this a task that can be shared?
:
:
: 4. CONSIDER DOING SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
:
: Donate a gift in the memory of your loved one.
:
: Donate money you would have spent on your loved one as a gift to
: charity.
:
: Adopt a needy family for the holidays.
:
: Invite a guest (foreign student, senior citizen) to share festivities.
:
:
: 5. RECOGNIZE YOUR LOVED ONE'S PRESENCE IN THE FAMILY.
:
: Burn a special candle to quietly include your loved one.
:
: Hang a stocking for your loved one in which people can put notes with
: their thoughts or feelings.
:
: Listen to music especially liked by the deceased.
:
: Look at photographs.
:
:
: 6. IF YOU DECIDE TO DO HOLIDAY SHOPPING, MAKE A LIST
: AHEAD OF TIME AND KEEP IT HANDY FOR A GOOD DAY, OR SHOP THROUGH A
: CATALOGUE.
:
:
: 7. OBSERVE THE HOLIDAYS IN WAYS WHICH ARE COMFORTABLE
: FOR YOU.
:
: There is no right or wrong way of handling holidays.
:
: Once you've decided how to observe the time, let others know.
:
:
: 8. TRY TO GET ENOUGH REST -- HOLIDAYS CAN BE EMOTIONALLY
: AND PHYSICALLY DRAINING.
:
:
: 9. ALLOW YOURSELF TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS.
:
: Holidays often magnify feelings of loss. It is natural to feel sadness.
:
: Share concerns, apprehensions, feelings with a friend. The need for
: support is often greater during holidays.
:
:
: 10. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE EXPERIENCE OF MANY BEREAVED PERSONS IS THAT
: THEY DO COME TO ENJOY HOLIDAYS AGAIN. THERE WILL BE OTHER HOLIDAY
: SEASONS TO CELEBRATE.
:
:
: 11. DON'T BE AFRAID TO HAVE FUN.
:
: Laughter and joy are not disrespectful. Give yourself and your family
: members permission to celebrate and take pleasure in the holidays.
:
:
: Reprinted from *Bereavement & Loss Resources* a publication of
: Rivendell Resources and GriefNet.
:
:
:
: ------------------------------------------------------------------------
: Rivendell Resources grants anyone the right to reprint this information
: without request for compensation so long as the copy is not used for
: profit and so long as this paragraph is reprinted in its entirety with
: any copied portion.
:
--
Daniel ( deltae...@usa.net )